Chapter Text
Useless Lesbian(7:24pm): I think I’m gonna do it.
Brainiac(7:25pm): You can do this Carm, and when you get done I’ll help you with your science homework.
You can do this, You’ve known for a while now, It’s time.
“Mom” Carmilla exhaled, She walked inside to see her mom resting on the sofa. She looked a bit exhausted, Maybe right now wasn't such a good time.
“Yes dear” She looked over to Carmilla, Carmilla didn’t have her usual unamused face.
“Whats wrong? Come here, Sit down” Lilly (as everyone else called her) put her arm around Carmilla, Carmilla appeared to be on the edge of breaking down.
“Honey, you know you can tell me anything”
Carmilla fidgeted with her fingers, Her breathing was rough. Lilly had put her arm around Carmilla, as Carmilla seemed a bit uncomfortable by it.
“Okay” She exhaled, Lilly turned towards Carmilla
“Tell me what’s eating at you, I’m here for you” Lilly assured.
Carmilla was still looking down at her fingers, gluing her eyes to them to avoid looking at her mother. Her heart pounding against her chest.
“Mom, I’m gay” She finally said, looking over at her. Lilly looked at her blankly for a second.
“Oh thank god, I thought you were going to tell me that you had gotten hooked or something worse. Jesus you almost gave me a heart attack” Lilly exclaimed.
“That’s it? No you’re going to hell bullshit?”Carmilla looked over
“What?! First off, I would never ever tell my kid to go to hell, Second, I love you unconditionally, Third. I’ve known ever since you accidently left your Tumblr open on my laptop, also, the url “Lesbian-not-gone-wild” kinda gave it away” Before Carmilla could even say anything Lilly interrupted.
“Also, you should stop adding an insane amount of tags to your selfies” Carmilla recalled, Most of them included (#Lesbian #Lame #gay #Pride #flannel #Sunday) Lilly was right, she did need less tags. Carmilla chuckled a bit, Lilly looked over towards Carmilla.
“Listen, I love you, and I won’t stop loving you. I don’t care who you kiss, just as long as they make you happy. And you’re bringing them home for dinner when you do find someone” Lilly assured.
Carmilla couldn’t stop smiling, she was so overjoyed, tears came out.
“Honey! It’s okay, it’s okay! Come here, Give me a hug” Lilly turned over to Carmilla with open arms, which Carmilla accepted. She began to cry,
“I love you so much” She said between sobs.
“Yeah Yeah, I love you too. Now go get cleaned up, Dinner’s almost ready”
Camilla walked outside, She’d never felt so good. She rang up Lafontaine, science extraordinaire, and next in line for a noble peace prize.
“Laf!”
“How’d it go?”
“It went amazing, I just can’t even begin to tell you, I love her so much” Carmilla went on still a bit teary from her crying session.
“You okay there?” Laf asked.
“More than okay, I’ve never felt better.” Carmilla exclaimed.
Within the year, Lilly had grown used to teasing Carmilla about the girlfriends she never had.
“Carmillllaaaaaaaa”
“Yes mother”
“Don’t call me mother, It makes me feel old. Anyways, When are you going to bring a girl over? I keep having left overs, and I’d rather not have them sit in the fridge all week.”
“Mom, I’m not bringing a girl over” (That’d require Carmilla to have a girlfriend)
“Come onnnn, Do you want to go to the coffee shop and find you a really cute girlfriend”
“Mom, I already Have a really cute girlfriend” Carmilla exclaimed. Shit.
“Perfect! You can bring them over to Mattie's Welcome back party! All the Karnstiens are flying in, and Will said that he’s found himself a really sweet gal-”
“You mean Elsie, who spread around faster than the common cold?” Carmilla knows cause she was with Elsie before she got tired of how clingy she was, and then dumped her, only to have her go to her twin brother next.
“Now Carmilla, that’s not very nice of you, Elsie sounds like a sweet girl, And tell your girlfriend that I can’t wait to meet her”
“But-” Lilly kissed Carmilla on the cheek.
“No Buts Carmilla, I’m meeting this sweet young Lady”
“Will I’m leaving” She Called for him, Will walked down the stairs,
“Where are you going?” Will asked.
“I have to go, Some client decided that it’s be a good idea to get in an argument with someone and now they’re suing him. So I have to go on my day off to go save his ass. Pardon my language,the keys are on the table in case you want to go out, and there's money in your account in case you guys wanted to order pizza. I love you” She walked out the door.
“So, how’s the sloppy seconds bro?” Carmilla smirked.
“You’re gross. How’s the girlfriend hunt, Edward?” Will smirked back.
“Going pretty damn good, She’s coming to Mattie's welcome back party” Carmilla flaunted.
“She must be pretty special if you’re bring her over. You know, since you never bring anyone over. Either that or she doesn’t exist” will exclaimed as he walked Upstairs.
“Shut up”
The Karnsteins lived in a really nice house, too nice for Camilla's taste. Luckily, They had a separate house on the same property,literally 10 feet away from the house. One that Carmilla had decorated to her own taste and used as a makeshift apartment. Carmilla made her way outside and called LaFontaine.
“Laf”
“Yeah”
“I think I fucked up”
“What happened”
“I kinda told my mom that I had a girlfriend and that she was coming to Mattie’s welcome back party”
“When is it?”
“Three weeks”
“Why don’t you just take Laura? You two have been best friends since forever,your parents Love her, plus, Half the school already thinks you’re dating”
“What? Seriously?! Why wasn’t I informed about this?”
“Didn’t seem important. Besides, it’s totally believable.”
“I don’t know Laf”
“Just ask her, I’m sure she’ll say yes.”
“Fine. How’s Per? I hear you two are a thing apparently.”
“Literally, The best decision of my life, I feel like I could spend my life with her”
“you’ve been going out for what? Two weeks?”
“Three, and they’ve been the best 21 days of my life”
“Gosh Laf, You’re such a sap. Anyways, I think I’ll call Laura and ask, I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Later tiger, Go get em” LaFontaine imitated a roar.
“Laf stoooppp”
She hung up and dialed Laura shortly after
“Heyyy Carrmmm”
“Can I come over?”
“Yeah Sure, What’s up?”
“Ugh, It’s a long story, do you want me to pick up some food on the way”
“Sure! My dad’s at working on a case so I don’t think he’ll be home.”
“Takeout and tea?”
“You know me so well”
“Like the back of my hand Cupcake, I’ll be there in 30”
“Will! I'm going out!Order yourself some Pizza if you’re hungry”
Carmilla grabbed the keys and started the car, she passed by Laura’s favorite Chinese place.
“The Usual?” Natalie asked.
“Yeah”
“Where’s Laura?”
“She’s home right now, I’m on my way over”
“Do you want the tea with it”
“Nat, I’ve been here how many times?”
“Well said. Here you go, One large Lo Mein and two green teas”
Carmilla handed Natalie a twenty.
“Keep the change”
“You spoil me too much” Natalie chuckled.
Carmilla got back into her car and made her way over to Laura’s house. She arrived in her driveway got everything out as she unlocked the door with the key that Laura’s father trusted her with.
“Honey I’m home!” Carmilla shouted dropping her keys on the counter.
Carmilla waited as she heard Laura's tiny feet race downstairs.
“Carm!” Laura welcomed Her with a hug.
“Foooooodddd” Laura let go of Carmilla to get some plates out of the cupboard.
“So, What’d you wanna talk about” Laura asked giving Carmilla a plate and fork.
“Oh. Yeah. Okay, before I tell you, I want to warn you, that you don’t have to do this, and it’s totally up to you and if you don’t want to do it I totally understand” Carmilla affirmed
Laura had taken a forkful of Lo Mein before quickly swallowing it.
“Just spill already Carm.”
“So you know how Mattie’s coming into town in a couple of weeks”
“Yes..”
“Well, my mom and I were talking about it and she keep pressuring me to bring a girl over”
“Okay..”
“and I kinda got tired of it so I kinda told her that I had a girlfriend”
“Where do I come into play?”
“Well, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Okay, Talk to me”
“Well, I was talking to Laf about potential dates, and you seemed the most reasonable”
“So, you want me to be your fake girlfriend for Mattie's welcome back party?”
“Yes. But you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. Totally up to you” Carmilla replied.
“Are you kidding me” Laura said in a very confusing tone.
Oh shit, You fucked up Carmilla. Here it comes.
“That'd be Super awesome!” Laura exclaimed causing Carmilla to choke on her tea.
“Wait, you’re on board??”
“Of course I’m on board, I could be like Peggy carter! It’s like going under cover! And it works out really well, Cause I came out to my dad a couple of weeks ago and he was totally supportive about it. It’s gonna be so much fun!”
“Are you sure you wanna do this”
“Are you kidding me? Of course I want to do this.” Laura smiled at Carmilla.
“Okay, to make this believable, we need to make a list.”
“A list?”Carmilla asked.
“Yes Carm, We need to figure out what couples do”
“Okay, Well, they hold hand hands”
“Great,We already do that so check that off the list”
Laura and Carmilla began to make a list as they finished the Chinese food.
Carmilla and Laura’s Couple list
-
Hold Hands
-
Take couples Pictures
-
Make out
-
Share Clothes
-
Leave Clothes
-
Cuddle
-
Movie Date
-
Dinner Date
-
Cook a meal together
-
Get gross matching shirts
-
Leave Cute Notes
-
Cute Texts
The List went on. Laura was determined to make their fake Romantic relationship as realistic as possible.
“That’s Quite the list you got there” Carmilla glanced over at it
“It’s just a few Right now, We can expand Later on”
Big Sis (9:46pm): I Heard that my little sis was bringing her girlfriend to my Welcome Back party.
Kitty Kat (9:46pm):Where you hear that from?
Big Sis (9:47pm): Mom told me
Kitty Kat (9:47pm): Ugh, Do I have to?
Big Sis (9:50pm): Yes, I am super excited to meet her, If it were up to me, I would take the next plane out of Paris, But the Karnstein law firm calls.
Kitty Kat (9:51pm): You’ll Love her, I promise.