Chapter Text
I was starting to lose my patience.
I was offered this job because I am a seasoned warrior. Gandalf knew it, I knew it. Hell, half of Middle Earth knew it, but Thorin Oakenshield apparently did not. And he also didn’t seem interested in finding out.
He had been doubtful of me since the beginning, which I thought was okay because I was a stranger and why should he trust me? He has lost more than enough and he felt I was jeopardizing his quest. I knew and understood all of it, I did! But he was barmy if he thought I would just sit there and be thrown inside a circle of dwarfs with Bilbo every time trouble ensued.
I had been hired to protect Bilbo, so being next to him was natural and necessary to fulfill my duty, but seriously, if I get pushed around one more time while I’m trying to kill some orcs I am going to fucking lose it!
We were intercepted by a relatively small group of orc scouts, everyone fighting off those foul beasts. I had been guarding Bilbo when a warg attacked us from the front, but it was not my first time facing such an enemy. My movements were sure and deadly as I fought back. The situation was under control, the warg was already severely injured and starting to lose assertiveness due to blood loss, only one final blow to end the fight, but before I could do so, blasted Thorin Oakenshield pushes me off with his big ass audacity and kills it! The fuck was his problem!
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?” you screamed as you pushed yourself off the ground, Bilbo offering you a hand which you promptly refused, too pissed off to accept any kind of help.
“What am I doing? Keeping this company safe is what I am doing,” he scoffed as if it was the dumbest thing I could have ever asked him.
Oh, fuck no. Anger radiating off of me, I came face to face with this short little king.
“I did not need you barging in. I had it under control. I am not a damsel in distress, I am a warrior like any of you, or even more so because I have actually been fighting for a living for most of my life,” I gritted, lips tight with refrained anger and embarrassment by being treated like this.
Thorin held my gaze, he was not going to cower from my glare, but I already knew that and I was willing to take this pissing contest as far as he wanted to take it because I was done.
“You do not talk to me like that and you most certainly do not tell me what I can and cannot do. I am your King! I will do as I see fit,” and as soon as he said that, he turned on his heel and left me with the words in my mouth. I moved to go after him, give him a piece of my mind when someone grabs onto me.
“Lass, that’s enough. Yer only going to make it worse,” Bofur stood there, with my arm in his hand and a sorry look on his face. I looked around the company, they all saw our little stand-off, and could not help feeling even more embarrassed, and in turn, even angrier.
“I am not the one in the wrong! I have been pushed aside, manhandled, literally kicked out of the way, and belittled throughout this entire journey. I am a warrior, a great one at that! but you refuse to see anything past my gender. You think I am weak and in need of someone to protect me, like a damn child. I am no respected member of this company. He has shown me that is what he thinks of me and you have all stood with him on it. I’m done.” The finality of the sentence made the comments of calming down to promptly stop. “And he is not my king.” With that, you turned around and left the opposite direction where Thorin had stormed off.
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Thorin had been standing not too far from the group when you had your little outburst with the group.
In all honesty, he was not sure how everything went downhill so fast. One moment, he was fighting off orcs when he saw the warg approach you. He could not immediately go to you because he had his own fight and he and Dwalin were having each other’s backs. However, he still kept an eye on you. He saw how well you were handling the situation, and truthfully, you did not need his help, but logic and rational thinking were not always Thorin’s best qualities. He was anxious (and maybe even worried, if he was being honest), and as soon as he was done with his own fight, he went to you. To help you, that is.
Only, apparently, you did not want his help? How was killing something that was attacking you a bad thing? And then you started yelling at him, and why were you even angry? Thorin had half a mind to walk off that fight before something else was said and he got furious, which for him, was not all that hard; and he got the last word, so that was a win. He was proud of his decision.
But hearing how they-he had made you feel …. That was not what he thought of you. Your quick thinking and knowledge of the lands they traveled through saved them many times and the dwarves truly valued your input. But fair is fair, and Thorin knew that you were right. None of them had let you fight if they could help it. And that might have been a bit his fault. He had been talking to Dwalin and Balin about the group’s safety, especially Bilbo’s and he might have, very casually, said something along the lines of protecting you inside the circle of dwarfs because … well, he did not want anyone getting hurt. Simple as that. Dwalin heard that as orders and then everyone took it in stride, they thought it was only natural to take care of the only woman in the group as well. Didn’t really put much thought into it. But they had made a mistake.
After you left, Thorin rejoined the company. Not one of them said anything, guilt making its way up their chests and settling there. Until Bilbo spoke:
“She is right, you do realize? And I am not blaming you, I also drag her with me into the circle when danger finds us, despite having seen her kill more orc than I can count and barely break a sweat,” his voice a bit saddened.
Thorin knew he had to take responsibility for this. Even if he had not said anything, and they still took care of her, he should have said something. She was employed for this quest because she had more experience in fighting than many of them, she knew the lands because she had traveled most of Middle Earth several times, she was a ranger. She knew what she was doing. He realized that now. He had to make it right.