Archive of Our Own

     I opened the door passenger's seat and stepped out of the car as saying a quick goodbye to my mom. I slammed the door behind me, jumping at the loud sound. The gravel beneath me made me feel unsteady, like my legs could falter any minute and I'd fall face-first on the ground. What an entrance that would be. It was still early, and this was the only outdoor space i could wait before my first class began. Everyone was sitting in little groups, happy to be back, happy to see the familiar faces, and I'd never felt that left out before. Not on a day that was supposed to bring me excitement. I looked around again trying to decide where i could sit down, but all the tables were taken. That is- until i spotted a big tree with a small stone bench under its shade. I walked over and sat down, placing my backpack next to me. It was honestly a really pretty spot. I could almost drown out all the chatter and background noise as the wind blew. I wonder why no one else wanted to sit here; it felt so serene. Maybe being alone wasn't that bad after all.

     I've never liked being the new kid. I've always been that person who's afraid of change, afraid of so many things. I wish I wasn't like this. I wish the world didn't hurt so much, and that I didn't feel things so deeply. I don't want to be the person who cries over a butterfly's bent wings, over a dying flower. It's useless to suffer for what I can't control... But I still do. I feel everything a bit too much.

     I had gone through my first few classes as expected. Most of the teachers wanted the students to introduce themselves, their hobbies, some random useless fact about this one guy's cat- that kind of stuff. Everyone seemed pretty nice so far, though I hadn't had a proper full-on conversation with another student just yet. The bell rang again, signaling us our lunch break had just started. Similar to this morning, I felt a bit intimidated, not really knowing where to go or who to go with. I walked over to a corner that seemed to be less crowded and just stared at my phone screen for a bit, hoping no one would notice that I wasn't actually texting someone.

"Hey," a warm voice said, "You're new, right?"

I put my phone away in a rush before looking up at the person speaking.

"Yeah, I'm Jeonghan."

"I'm Seungcheol," he smiled at me, "Nice to meet you."

Wow, I really am awkward in these situations.

Apparently, he noticed how nervous I looked because he asked if I wanted to eat lunch with him and his friends, which I agreed to. We walked to the cafeteria together and sat down at a table where it seemed someone was already waiting for us. That's when I met Joshua. Turns out he and I have a lot of classes together. As for Seungcheol, we had very different schedules. We only took art class together which meets three times a week in the afternoon for just over an hour. The three of us kept comparing schedules, giving our opinions on our new teachers, a bit of everything really. 

Another person walked up to our table and sat down beside me. According to my new friends, this is Wonwoo. Wonwoo likes reading, playing video games, and if I remember properly, I think he also really likes cats. He was quiet but seemed like a nice guy. They said I wouldn't run into him that often though, since he's a grade below us.

The four of us ate our lunch, talking about our favorite movies and shows. 

"Ah, shit," Seungcheol stood up, "Shua, we're gonna be late to our test."

Joshua stood up as well, throwing the last bits of his food away, "I brought flashcards, I'll quiz you on the way there."

"Sorry guys," Seungcheol waved back at us in a rush, "I'll see you around!"

He kept his word. Every morning when I got to school, I had someone to say hello to. During lunch we would always hang out. In art class we'd exchange glances until we both started laughing. I'm not sure if that's what he meant to do, but he always managed to make me smile, and I wanted to make him happy too. It had been two weeks since school started. I was getting used to how things worked by now and met more people too. There was Mingyu from the basketball team, Hoshi from the dance club, Jun who also moved here this year. 

I sat there drawing, right hand sketching, left hand resting on the table, my earphones playing my favorite song. I really liked art class, but the teacher always gave us so many assignments it was hard to keep up with. Seungcheol, however, despite not being the best artist out there, always managed to turn things in on time. Honestly, I'm going to have to ask him how he does it because I'm a bit jealous on how he gets to use half the class as free time. Speaking of, it was common for him to get bored since he'd always finish early, so he'd doodle on my free hand while i worked on my drawing with the other. Smiley faces, hearts, I found it so adorable for some reason. Not sure why, but it was really cute. 

"Hey," he spoke up

I took off my headphones and brough my eyes to meet his

"At what time are you leaving today?"

This was our last class of the day, but I was going to be staying on campus for at least one more hour after dismissal, which is what I told him.

"Oh, cool," I saw something light up in his expression, "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out for a while after class."

Of course I wanted to.

"Sure, do you have anything specific in mind?"

"Uh, not really... We'll figure it out."

Class ended and we still had no clue what the "hangout" was going to be.

We were walking back from class together.

"Should we go to the bathroom?" Seungcheol asked casually

"Uh, sure." I didn't really see why he wanted me to tag along or why he was even asking, but i followed him down the stairs and through the door.

He walked in and sat on the sink, that stupid grin plastered on his face.

"I thought you actually needed to use the toilet."

"Not really," He motioned to the space next to him, "sit."

I walked a bit closer, hesitant. "What if someone walks in? Won't we get in trouble?"

"I mean," he thought about it for a second, "We're not doing anything wrong so..." 

"Oh come on, nothing bad's gonna happen, Jeonghan."

"Fine." I sighed, sitting next to him.

There was a brief moment of silence hovering above us, until Seungcheol spoke up again

"It's too quiet," he looked up at the ceiling, "do you mind if I play some music from my phone?"

I told him we shouldn't since it'd increase our chances of getting caught, but he ended up doing it anyways. 

And we talked and talked and talked. I'd never been this open with someone I had known for so little time. It felt so good to trust someone and have them listen.