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"Did you know that koala bears have to rest for 20 hours a day daddy," Claudia inquires as she kicks off her sandals. "Maybe the new baby is a koala bear and that's why you sleep so much." Stiles chokes on his orange juice because honestly where does his kid come up with this stuff.
"DeeDee, the new baby is not a koala bear," Derek says, exasperation evident in his tone as if they'd been over this countless times. "Now do you want quinoa or lentils with dinner tonight?" Stiles can't help but pull a face at that and Derek gives him a sharp look. Ever since Claudia was born (well ever since Stiles got pregnant actually) Derek has been a total all natural health food nut. Because...he's that type of dad. Stiles is definitely the cool dad just by "I-Don't-Force-Feed-My-Kid-Quinoa-And-Acually-Sneak-Her-To-Baskin-Robbins-Every-Once-In-Awhile" default. And by every once in awhile Stiles means once a month. Twice a month since he's been pregnant with Thing 2. Stiles doesn't even know why he still tries to be sneaky about it because Derek always smells it on them and is snarky for about 6 hours. But that's besides the point, the point being that Stiles is so totally the cool dad.
"Actually I want mashed potatoes," Claudia states in true Stilinski fashion. Honestly she makes Stiles so proud in moments like these.
"Actually mashes potatoes are filled with carbs and I already let daddy sneak a loaf of bread in with last night's dinner," Derek argues. Because of course he's arguing about carbs with a 4 year old.
"Yeah but I want mashed potatoes and so does daddy and the baby," Claudia says stubbornly, crossing her adorable chunky baby arms. She honestly looks so much like Derek when she's being stubborn, it makes Stiles melt (and pray that Thing 2 takes after him and is a little bit more laid back because Derek and Claudia already clash enough).
"You can't speak for the baby Claudia, it doesn't even know what mashed potatoes are and I'm sure it would love quinoa," Derek states firmly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"She's a girl and she loves mashed potates," Claudia pouts.
"I think she probably likes mashed potatoes," Stiles says with a shrug. "I mean if I'm allowed to have a say, she is in my body after all." Stiles can see Derek soften and he knows immediately that Claudia will be winning this round thanks to Stiles' slightly underhanded lifeline (she's four so she has yet to grasp Derek's complete and total weakness for pregnant Stiles but he has a feeling that she's starting to understand considering that she's brought the baby into practically every argument lately).
"Since when are we having a girl?" Derek asks gently.
"Since always!" Claudia exclaims as if it should be as obvious to Derek as it is to her. Stiles shrugs in agreement.
"We can have mashed potatoes if it's that important to all of you," Derek concedes.
*~*~*~*
Stiles has kind of suspected that Thing 2 is a boy. There's just...subtle differences in his pregnancy with Thing 2 than his pregnancy with Claudia. And Stiles knows that there's no scientific evidence that girls carry any differently than boys. But, he just figures, when you know you know.
However, Claudia has been very insistent that Thing 2 is a girl, which is starting to make Stiles second guess himself because maybe werewolfy sibling intuition outweighs "mommy" intuition. Stiles honestly doesn't care either way. What's most important is that his child is healthy and happy, regardless of their gender. And Stiles doesn't have very rigid expectations of gender regardless. Which is why Claudia lived a very gender neutral lifestyle until she decided, of her own accord, that she very much likes sparkly pink tiaras.
"What are you thinking about?" Derek asked from where he's laying next to Stiles reading "What To Expect: Early Childhood" because he's a nerd and does research into how to create the best possible childhoods for his nerdlets.
"Thing 2," Stiles answers distractedly because now he's thinking about chicken parmigiana for some reason and he needs to go to the Spaghetti Factory like right now immediately.
"I wish you wouldn't call him that," Derek scoffs.
"Them," Stiles corrects, "We should call it "them/they" until we know the correct pronouns. Or biologically correct pronouns, they could always switch it up..."
"You're thinking way too much about this," Derek says, "You weren't like this with Claudia."
"I don't know something feels different this time," Stiles replies honestly.
"Different how? Like some thing's wrong?" Derek questions, suddenly seeming anxious.
"No, a good type of different. Just different." Stiles answers and Derek chuckles.
"Alrighty then, you should get some rest my little pregnant psychic," Derek says, going back to his nerdy research.
*~*~*~*
"There's my beautiful granddaughter!" The sheriff exclaims as Claudia rockets into his arms.
"Papa! Can we watch Frozen?" Claudia questions and the sheriff chuckles.
"I knew you had an ulterior motive as soon as you stepped through that door little lady. You are your fathers' daughter through and through." The sheriff says faux sternly. Claudia blinks her wide eyes at him and he caves, "Of course we can watch Frozen."
"Thank you so much," Stiles mouths because he understands the pain that comes with watching Frozen for the 900th time and his dad is already doing him a favor by babysitting his hyperactive werechild overnight. Not that his dad's going to enjoy every minute off it, Stiles has sneaking suspicions that the sherif loves Claudia more than he loves his own son.
"No problem," the sheriff mouths back. Stiles stays while Claudia gets settled in watching the movie and then he quietly pulls his dad aside to give him the usual "No artificial dyes or fake sugar or Derek will literally lose his shit" speech that his dad always ignores. And the Stiles is on his merry way to spend a night alone with his husband for the first time in what feels like an eternity.
*~*~*~*
But then, because his life never goes as planned and the universe hates him, just as he's sitting down to the delicious dinner he prepared, Derek's eyes get wide as saucers and he says, quite frantically, "Don't freak out but I think you're about to go into labor." Which is right when Stiles feels the first labor pain constricting his middle.
"Fuuuuuck," Stiles groans and Derek actually has the audacity to look scandalized. "The fucking thing isn't fucking out yet I am still within my rights to use profanity." Derek just gives him an eyebrow raise and goes to call Deaton.
*~*~*~*
Derek cries just as much as he did when Claudia was born because he's the biggest sap known to man.
"I can't believe I have a son," Derek murmurs in awe as he stares down at Johnathan. Suddenly his eyes snap wide open, "Oh god we have a son. We have a son that is going to be a teenage boy someday. What do we do?" Stiles almost laughs but Derek honestly looks more than a little stressed out.
"Well I guess all we can do is teach him to respect the fuck out of women and make sure he has a well stocked sock drawer," Stiles replies. Derek nods solemnly and Stiles can't hold the laughter in anymore.
"Shut up," Derek mutters harshly.
"Hey!" Stiles says in an affronted tone, "Your giant ass werebaby just came out of my body! You are not allowed to tell me to shut up." It's Derek's turn to laugh.
*~*~*~*
"She's a little wrinkly," is all Claudia has to say when she meets Johnathan.
"Claudia, he's a boy. His name is Johnathan sweetie," Derek explains gently and Claudia rolls her eyes as if that's the dumbest thing she's ever heard.
"She's a girl but whatever" Claudia sighs, sounding fourteen instead of four and honestly, Stiles wonders for the billionth time, where does his kid come up with this stuff?