Work Text:
"If we're still by your side when that time comes, we'll definitely be able to pull you back."
She kept following me on my non-stopping steps. Even during never ending fights, she was always there, right by the side. As if she had split the flesh and saw through my heart, she did not stop asking questions that always, penetrated my heart. They filled the empty spots of my heart, trying to reveal the void I hid; I always answered them with promises and resolute. In your eyes, I should have remained strong and unbroken, so I'm satisfied with that. If your eyes did not see the empty spaces I have covered secretly, I am satisfied.
All the hollowness I made to myself started to fill up with hopes for the future I would share with you. May I be able to walk barefoot on the newly piled snow with you without leaving any red traces of blood. When the warm sunlight comes up, may I be able to take off our thick coats and compete all day to see how far we can run. Then, when the sun goes down, we should share a simple, but warm dinner together. When finally the night comes, and stars fill the void of the sunlight, may I be able to promise you a further future together, under the blue-filled northern-lights. May I be able to wake up in the new morning with you, an ordinary morning together.
I learned that spring comes after winter, but I never learned why flowers aren't blooming in our hearts. Maybe there's something I did not learn yet. I guess it's just taking long to bloom. When flower blooms on your heart, there may be roots taking place on my heart too. Your heart has stopped, but mine is beating. If I rip off the roots that have been given to me and plant them in you, maybe the flowers will grow in you too.
If I pick some of the most ambiguous concepts in the world, they will be love, joy, and family. I didn't dare to hold on to the feelings I learned from you. You always shared your knowledge, and I let them go. How dare could I attach meaning to emotion that disappeared when I tried to hold it with my hand. How dare I have it?
In the end, I couldn't keep you in my hand. In the end, I dance on the melody of your heart beat that no longer beats. All the blood we shed has been erased by the new snow, but your pulse will remain under the snow pile. After a little more time, after it repeats to snow and melt a bit more times, roots will start to grow from your pulse and flowers will bloom.
So good night, I will wake you up when the spring comes.