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They just finished a rather gruelling case and everyone is catching up on some much-needed sleep. All but one…
David Rossi sits across from him wondering what thoughts are currently popping in and out of that brain of his as he sleeps. He was an expert in human behavior. He could dissect the mind of the worst and most vile human beings to have ever walked among the living. Serial killers are no problem. Bombers, easy. Rapist, cake walk. He could profile them in his sleep, really he could.
Sometimes, on a bad night, he does.
Sometimes, when he isn't vigilant, they follow him home. The demons in the shadows. They exist in the darkness of his own mind like an unearthly afterthought haunting him in his sleep. He overcomes his nightmares the same way he beats the real monsters in his life.
He simply outsmarts them.
He does that to everyone…profiles them into submission. One look and he can usually conclude something about them to find a way to force them to talk. One look and he can determine whether or not they are friend or foe, good or bad, strong or weak. One look is all he needs, yet…
He keeps staring at him and nothing.
Yesterday, he would have told you the story he saw etched into every fiber of the man sitting in front of him and he would have been positive he was correct on every detail. Today, not so much.
SSA David Rossi, FBI legend and profiler extraordinaire, could not figure out Dr. Spencer Reid. Not for the life of him.
It is beginning to drive him closer and closer to the edge. Every passing second means another second lost trying to decipher someone who should have been a stress-free puzzle a toddler should have been able to solve.
Reid looks and acts like a typical smart guy. Awkward and lanky. Nonathletic and excitable. All these would have usually spell out a classic know-it-all. Someone who was sheltered all his life by his parents with the help of his endless supply of books. Encouraged by his teachers, some might have said private tutors, to share his knowledge with the added push of his autism would explain his need to speak and why those facts animate him. He misses social cues because he does not understand them. That could be the autism again or it might be an indicator that he was a loner or maybe both. Either way, it should have been easy. Reid should have been easy. He should be all of this, but he isn't.
Why isn't he?
He should have been a talker like Gideon. He should have tricked the unsub into disarming himself prompting the arrest. He should have confused him with all those facts in his head. He should have done a lot of things before shooting him, if the typical profile was correct. But it wasn't and he didn't.
And here he is sitting across the irritating enigma that is Dr. Spencer Reid trying to reason out how he could have been so wrong about everything having to do with the BAU's youngest agent.
Rossi's first guess would have been Reid's involvement with the Bureau led to the change in the profile, but he had read the file, and knew about the waivers and the failures. They all express the same thing…
He should have been a talker, not a doer. Hotch, now he's a doer. Morgan, an action man personified. Emily and even himself are doers. They take action, not Reid. Reid's type screams talker.
So what happened…what changed?
A clear voice pushes Rossi out of his head, "You can just ask, you know. Whatever is bothering you, just ask."
Rossi is taken aback when he sees Reid is the one that was talking. His face is relaxed, eyes still closed. He looks like he should be having a much-deserved nap, even after Rossi saw his lips move which brought other questions to mind. How long has Reid been awake and why didn't he say anything sooner?
One final look at Reid and Rossi still could not get a good read on him, so he decided that this was the best response, "Nothing's bothering me, kid."
Reid finally opens his eyes and examines the legend's face and contradicts, "Your face is cramped and your hand is by your mouth as if you are in deep concentration. The wrinkles on your forehead are more pronounced in that position indicating that you are in fact thinking of something bothersome or confusing. Lips are pursed and your whole body appears tense. All of which are signs that you are experiencing something highly irritating, and what I have gathered from working with you the only thing that really irritates you is not being able to solve something. So just ask me what you want to know."
Rossi tries not to look surprised by Reid's explanation. The boy is a genius with extensive work as a profiler. He should have known better than to lie to him insulting his ability to do his job.
Rossi, now, holds Reid's full attention. There is no pretending to be asleep nor is there some interesting foreign book to preoccupy his time. It belongs to Rossi in this very instant; everything else is secondary.
"I repeat nothing is bothering me. And if there was something, what makes you think it's you?"
Without any hesitation, Reid readily provides an answer, "The fact that you have been staring at me for the past," pausing to look at his watch, "11 minutes and 43 seconds."
He gives Rossi an expression taunting him to come up with a better lie. Rossi can't, but he attempts to anyway.
"It's not you, Reid."
"My comment still stands. Ask."
Rossi moves back in his seat. He stares right through Reid and into something beyond, and he has no sufficient reply for him. His eyes, dark and warm, appear ancient and wise. Reid knows more about life than he originally leads you to believe, and Rossi begins to ponder the reality of the moment. Do any of them, the best team the BAU has to offer, truly know this young man?
Rossi breathes, "What do you want me to ask?"
Reid gives an all-knowing smile and calmly says, "Whatever you need. Ask for facts or statistics. Ask for advice. Ask for knowledge, if that's what you want. Maybe you just want to ask for an ear to listen to you. Maybe all you really need is the truth, so do just that. Ask for the truth."
The way in which Reid addresses him startles Rossi to the core…he knows exactly what Rossi has been wondering for the last 12 minutes or so. according to Reid. One look and…he gives up.
Rossi gives up and asks, "Why did you do it, Spencer? Why did you shoot him?"
"Wouldn't you have taken that shot, if you could have? You can't talk someone off the ledge when they're that far off, especially not someone like him. You know that. You worked the profile just as much as I did."
"You could have tried. You could have attempted to save his life," Rossi says this like it would have been something he would have done fully knowing that he would not have.
Still smiling, Reid proclaims that they would have lost the girl if he had risked talking to him knowing it would be fruitless. He adds statistics and parts of the profile to prove his point. He even quotes one of Rossi's books, title, chapter, and page number. He says all this to appease him. Rossi feels like his being talked down like a child.
Quiet thickens the tension in the air, as Reid waits for Rossi to freely speak his mind. No judgments. No reservations. Just two people tenderly treading the line of trust, as they are slowly becoming friends even if one of them is not aware of it.
When nothing happens, Reid proceeds to the next step without Rossi's permission, "Why don't ask me about what really is on your mind, David?"
His name grabs his attention. His usage of his first name results in stunning Rossi once again, especially by the steadiness of Reid's voice, Rossi stumbles into his answer, "What?"
"You want to know why someone like me not only joined the bureau but why I deviate from the typical profile of a nerdy kid that clearly should capture me so completely."
They exchange looks to one another. Reid understands Rossi's confusion because sometimes he doesn't comprehend himself either. Sometimes, he is surprised by the actions he takes—shooting this unsub being one of them.
Rossi analyzes Reid's posture. Nothing suggests that he's uncomfortable or unwilling. He seems relaxed and open for the first time since Rossi has met him.
"Okay, kid, you win. Why?"
Reid gently laughs trying not to awaken any of the other team members sleeping on the jet, "I'm troubled."
Shocked by the simple retort, Rossi phrases it like a question, "You're troubled?"
"I'm troubled," Reid repeats nodding.
"You're troubled. That's it. That's why you shot the guy because you're troubled," Rossi shows clear signs that something so simple could not be the cause of such a departure from the profile.
Shaking his head, Reid serenely explains, "No, that's why I'm not your typical genius with a high IQ and three doctorates. I shot the guy to save the girl he had kidnapped. She was scared and he wasn't going to let her go. He had a knife and wouldn't listen to reason consequently I put a bullet in his skull."
A pregnant pause occurs, as Rossi attempts to process the information shared with him. He looks up at Reid with the question, "How are you troubled?" written all over his face. They do not need verbal communication. Reid understands perfectly.
"Ever heard of the Tobias Hankle case? Took place in Georgia."
Confused by the question, Rossi hesitates to answer but curiosity wins out in the end. He nods his head and describes the case, "Sure, it was a big deal. Local cops thought that Hankle was a witness and the agents on the case agreed, but it turned out that he was the murderer suffering from DID. Three personalities, the report said…his own, his father, and an angel named Gabriel, I think. Very interesting case. Someone was even taken and tortured. Rumor has it that it was all recorded somewhere. I don't buy it."
Reid's grin hardens. It no longer shares the same laughter it did only moments ago. Something in the lines of his face tells Rossi that Reid is about to divulge more information on such a secretive case. Part of him is so excited at the prospect, he immediately perks up to listen. The other side of him knows better than to show his fascination, especially in front of Reid. Despite how complicated Reid presents to be for him, it does not take a profiler to guess how private this next part will be.
Seriousness burns Rossi's ears, as Reid tells him the story, "Raphael, the angel persona was named Raphael. And you shouldn't buy it…not really anyway. It was a live feed, so in a way, it was recorded, but I'm almost positive the recordings of that are nowhere to be found. Not that it matters, none of us will forget that case anytime soon…" Reid's speech halts.
Taking the opportunity, Rossi asks, "Were you guys the team working the case?"
Only nodding, Reid continues, "I should have known better, but I was afraid we'd lose him. So I did the irresponsible thing, and I went after him on my own. It was stupid really, but we didn't have time to plan and speculate. He was leaving, getting away. I figured it out, that it was him, and we had spooked him by showing up. We had to take this opportunity before he was too far gone. We split up." He stops to take a breath.
There is a stillness between the two of them that weighs heavily on Rossi, as he realizes what is to come next.
The harsh sound of Reid's voice is not too surprising, as he speaks of what happened to him, "JJ still hasn't forgiven herself. We were supposed to interview him together. I was only gone for a couple of days, but that was enough. I think the worst part of the whole thing was knowing that Garcia was the one waiting for that camera to turn on. She's not built to see this stuff…the rest of us prepare for all the gruesome images. We choose this life when we sign up for the academy. Garcia, not so much. The beatings I could take. I can take. I have been practicing all my life for that…child prodigy in a public school does that to a kid. The drugs, well, the drugs were a byproduct of all the personalities. It could have been worse. But knowing my team was watching...that's...that was what killed me. Still does every time I think about it."
A noise pulls them into the present, and they notice Hotch is waking up from his nap.
Reid decides it's best to end their conversation, "So, yeah, I'm troubled. But aren't we all, Rossi? No one can do what we do without being a little messed up in the head. We all have those ghosts that follow us wherever we go. Those phantoms so deep within us that they are the only ones that can speak the truth about who we are as agents, as friends, as human beings. Tobias Hankle is one of mine. What's yours?"
Reid's question hangs in the air, as Hotch approaches them. Searching Reid's face for reassurance of the young doctor's peace of mind, Hotch chooses this moment to intervene, "The couch is free if either of you wants to take a nap more comfortably."
Reid quickly hops onto his feet and says, "I will definitely take you up on that offer."
Rossi's eyes follow Reid, as he clumsily ambles his way to the couch. Not one of them says anything verbally, yet physically they both agree Dr. Reid was something else…something extraordinary.
It was not until Reid slept soundly that Hotch decides to tackle the subject with Rossi, "He told you about Hankle."
Rossi merely nods, although astonishment is smeared all over his face.
Hotch continues, "You want to know the amazing part. He told us where he was, gave us clues to find him. Despite the beatings and the verbal abuse and the drugs, he found a way to help us help him. Hankle never noticed that Reid was giving us hints. We barely noticed. Name someone else, anyone else that can do that."
Not a single name crosses Rossi's mind.
Still in awe of the memory, Hotch carries on, "He gave us all we needed to find him, and he still had to shoot Hankle himself. He survived torture just to die from an overdose at Hankle's hands. He was brought back to life, in order for him to dig his own grave. In the middle of all that, he was confident we would come. He was so sure we would find him. Every time I look at him and I see someone who has more faith in me than I deserve. Every time I look at him, I see someone extraordinary that I can never disappoint. I owe him that much."
Rossi finally stops Hotch's monologue, "He is quite the kid, huh?"
Chuckling, Hotch replies, "You have no idea."
If the obstacles that intrude in our lives define the person we are, Rossi is positive that Reid is the type of person you are proud to have known and even more honored to call a friend which after today he starting to realize he is becoming.
Giving one last glance to a dreaming Reid, Rossi determines he may never be able to profile Reid the way he does the others but that just makes him even more worthy of investigating.