Chapter Text
word count - 2,737
Every day was the exact same for Pezzy.
He would wake up to a door slamming down the hallway, shaking the walls of the house, followed by thundering footsteps. His eyes would be burning and the sun would be barely up in the sky, illuminating his neat bedroom in golden light, just enough to wake him up a little more. He let out a small groan of protest, knowing deep down that no matter how much sleep he genuinely wanted, (and needed) he wasn’t gonna sleep in today.
And he was proven right when the thundering footsteps got louder and louder, before his bedroom door was thrown open and slammed shut in seconds. There was mischievous, yet happy giggling inside the room, starkly contrasting the angered shouts and pounding on the other side of the door.
Pezzy didn’t even open his eyes, mumbling out, “Good morning, Puffer.”
Standing across the orderly room was a man with pufferfish fins sticking out of his face and arms. His smile was bright, matching the sunshine yellow clothing he was wearing. “Good morning, Pezzy!” He chirped, ignoring the way the door bounced underneath his back. “Did you get my TikTok I sent you last night?”
Pezzy’s eyes were opening slowly as he felt around his nightstand for his phone. His mouth felt dry, but he ignored it to pull the electronic up to his face, squinting when he was assaulted by the bright light. 7:01AM stared back at him, followed by many notifications. He scrolled through them before finding the one from TikTok, which was sent at 3AM by none other than Puffer himself.
“Puffer, you know I go to bed by midnight, right?”
That made Puffer cock his head to the side, “What are you? An old man?” He jested, still holding strong against the body on the other side. The banging was starting to get more aggressive and the shouting was becoming less muffled due to how loud it was.
“PUFFER, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” The voice was rough, clearly someone who had just woken up mere minutes ago. “WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I’M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE, YOU LITTLE PERKY PIECE OF SHIT!!!”
Meanwhile, Pezzy let out the first long sigh of the day, rubbing his face. “Puffer, what did you do?”
Puffer had his ever cheery smile on his face, cheeks squished as he said, “Nothing!” in the guiltiest tone known to man.
Pezzy was not amused. “Puffer.” His tone was sterner this time.
Finally, the taller man sighed, leaning against the door dramatically. “It wasn’t just my fault! Droid took my favorite pair of socks last night and I decided to wait until this morning to grab them, then I realized that he also had a pair of my sunglasses—“ Puffer sucked in a breath of air, “—and then he woke up and was being really angry with me, so I ran away until I came into here!”
“BULLSHIT!” Was screeched from the other side. “YOU’RE FUCKING CAPPIN’!”
Clearly, no peace would be achieved until this debacle is disputed, so Pezzy let out his second long sigh of the day. He crawled out of the bed, shivering when his feet hit the cold floor, and crossed his room in a few strides. “Out of the way, please.” He said once he stopped in front of his housemate.
A cold sweat broke out on Puffer’s neck, “Oh— Well, I think I wanna stay here a little bit longer—“
Pezzy gently grabbed Puffer’s forearm and without a fight, pulled him away from the bedroom door. Just as Puffer was out of the way, the door was slammed forcefully open, revealing the third party in this situation.
His sharp teeth glinted in the morning light, bared and dangerous as he glared daggers across the room at the tallest roommate in the house. There were various scars and chips in his metal body, as well as his always ripped clothes hanging off of it, making him incredibly intimidating upon first glance.
His chest puffed up, “PUFFER—“
Pezzy was quick to put a hand on the guy’s shoulder, gently smiling at him. “Droid, the others are still sleeping.” His voice was soothing and soft, still heavy with morning drowsiness.
Droid quieted down immediately, still fuming but in a softer way, “Puffer fucking threw my basketball at my face when he realized I was awake!” He pointed an accusing finger across the room, “And I fucking caught him trying to break INTO MY SAFE, THAT LYING PIECE OF SHIT—“
This time, Pezzy squeezed Droid’s shoulder once, silencing him again, and turned a motherly gaze to Puffer, who was now sweating buckets underneath their combined looks. “Puffer, is that true?” Pezzy asked, in a voice that held no room for arguments.
Puffer wrung his shirt in his hands, avoiding eye contact.
“Puffer.” Pezzy urged, squinting.
Finally, the man cracked, shoulders drooping instantly. “Yeah, he’s not lying.” He mumbled, the fins on the sides of his face turning downward. “I was just curious what he had inside there.”
Pezzy nodded, taking his hand off of Droid’s shoulder and moving to grab Puffer’s now. “Thank you for telling me the truth. Now, though, you gotta own up to your actions.” He urged him over, both men stopping a foot or so away from Droid. “I don’t think I need to tell you what you have to say, do I?”
There was a heavy beat of silence, one with both Droid and Pezzy giving Puffer expectant looks. He huffed, mumbling out, “‘m sorry.”
Droid wasn’t pleased, holding a hand up to cup his ear. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
Meanwhile, Pezzy turned his glare to Droid, silently telling him not to push it. “That’s enough, we’ve all said what we wanted. If you’re in Droid’s room snooping again, I’ll put you on laundry duty, Puffer. Got it?”
Puffer nodded rapidly, perking up now that all the heat wasn’t on him. “Okay.” He agreed. Then he paused, turning his body to Pezzy. Holding his arms out and making grabby motions, he pouted, “‘I’m sorry for bothering you’ hug?”
Pezzy hesitated before opening his arms in return, walking forward and embracing the large man. “Bring it in, big guy.” He mumbled, laughing lightly when Puffer had picked him up and swayed with him in his arms.
Meanwhile, Droid felt himself bristle slightly, sneer curling harder with every passing second the two of them were in each other’s arms. He thought he was hallucinating it, but he could catch a glimpse of a somewhat smug grin on Puffer’s face, right before he hid it in Pezzy’s neck.
Eventually, the two men parted and Puffer left the room. Not without trying to get a hug from Droid, of course. And Droid, as per usual, shoved the other away, flipping him off as he left.
Pezzy gave Droid a disapproving frown. “I know you’re upset, but please stop being so rough with everyone around the house.”
“I’ll stop being rough when they stop being fucking annoying.” The other retaliated, folding his arms. A silence had fallen over the duo for a few seconds before Droid spoke back up, “What’s for breakfast today?”
Pezzy walked past Droid, over to his closet and opened it, picking out his outfit for the day, “I think Kryoz wanted to help me cook today, so it’s probably gonna be pancakes and eggs.” He eventually settled on his favorite shirt and pair of sweatpants, swiping off the excess lint on both. His expression turned teasing, but he made sure to keep his face hidden from Droid, “Why? You wanna help me or something?”
Droid made a grunting noise, glaring from the doorway. “Nope. Just wanted to know what shit ass food I should be avoiding today.” He scoffed like the whole conversation was below him, rolling his eyes. He started down the hallway, calling over his shoulder, “At least it’s not Grizzy cooking !”
And for once, Pezzy had to agree. At least it wasn’t Grizzy cooking.
After taking his morning shower and freshening up, he made his way down the flight of stairs and into the huge ground floor. Ignoring the way that the living room looked like a tornado ran through it and the huge blue sleeping bag in the middle of it, Pezzy made it to the kitchen, spotting a hunched over figure sitting on a barstool.
Pezzy made sure to make his footsteps purposefully loud as he approached, capturing the other’s attention. Sitting at the bar was Kryoz, hovering over a cup of tea and awkwardly fumbling with his sweater sleeves. His eyes darted anxiously around the room, landing on Pezzy once to give him a nod of greeting.
“Mornin’.” He slurred out, dragging his fingernail over the ribbing of his sleeve’s end. “Do you— Ahem… sorry!— Do you still wanna make pancakes?” His voice warbled off a little at the end.
Pezzy gave him the most encouraging smile he possibly could, keeping his distance from the man, and checking the pantry. “Of course! I told Droid we were making them today and he seemed pretty excited.”
Kryoz blinked in confusion. “Droid was excited?”
“…Well, about as excited as Droid can be.” Pezzy corrected himself, plucking the box of pancake mix off of the shelf. He mentally cursed when the box felt light and peeked inside it, seeing only a little bit of the powder left inside. “Oh. We’re out of pancake mix. Shit.”
He didn’t even have to turn around to see the crashing wave of nerves that hit Kryoz, who stuttered out, “Oh! I’m so sorry, I forgot that I had helped Grizzy make his McGriddles the other day— Oh, I’m so fucking stupid, holy shit!—“
“John, we’ve talked about your language about yourself.” Pezzy gently reminded him, crossing the room over to the fridge and opening it. “And this is an easy fix, man! Don’t beat yourself up for it.” Pezzy pulled out bread, eggs, and milk, setting all three on the counter next to the stove. “Let’s make French toast instead! That should be fun.”
Kryoz wasn’t convinced, walking over and standing beside Pezzy with a frown. “But I thought we wanted to cook the eggs separately too. We don’t have enough eggs to make French toast and eggs.” He pointed out, the fumbling with his sweater increasing in speed. “Pezzy, I’m so sorry—“
“So, let’s make bacon instead! French toast and bacon sounds so good, right?” Without warning, Pezzy threw his arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Didn’t you say the others liked how you cook bacon? Why don’t I start the French toast and you work on making a good side for it?”
Pezzy breathed an internal sigh of relief when Kryoz finally nodded, his fumbling coming to a slow stop. “Oh— I can do that. Okay.”
And so, the two men started working in tandem, with Pezzy prepping the batter for the French toast while Kryoz got the stove turned on and put the pans in their places. For the next 30 or so minutes, the two focused hard on making a good breakfast for their roommates, talking aimlessly while doing so.
It was while John was ranting about the newest anime he was binging that the first of the house members began to trickle in. At 8:47AM on the dot, heavy footsteps trotted down the stairs and scuffed against the floors.
Pezzy flipped his slice of French toast on the skillet, smiling and calling out, “Good morning, Smii7y.” His smile quickly fell when the thick and strong scent of cigarettes filled his nose. “If I turn around and there’s a lit cigarette in your mouth, I swear to fucking God—“
“Cool your jets, I smoked on my balcony.” A detached head poked itself between Pezzy and Kryoz, eyes hidden behind two-toned shades. Smii7y pursed his lips, scanning over the food before him. “I thought you guys were gonna make pancakes and eggs.” Pezzy gave Smii7y a wide-eyed, harsh stare, catching the milk-man’s attention before it was too late. Kryoz began to stutter, but Smii7y hurriedly cut him off, “But man! This is so much better, I love bacon.” He lied through his teeth, watching as Kryoz’s shoulders fell in relief.
He pat both men on their shoulders, before picking up one of the already full plates on the counter and moving to sit at the bar. He joined in their conversation, leading it more or less now, giving Pezzy a well needed rest from socialization as he continued to cook.
The next came around 9AM, being none other than the excitable face of chaos, Grizzy. He practically ran down the stairs, skipping into the kitchen with a huge smile on his face, showcasing every sharp tooth in his mouth. His clothes were disheveled and somehow were already covered in dirt stains. “Goooood morning, guys!” He was quick to slap a hand on Smii7y’s back, accidentally making him cough out his mouthful of bacon. “Smells good! What’s on the menu this morning?”
“French toast and bacon!” Pezzy slid a plate down the bar to him, giving him a thumbs up when Grizzy caught it before it fell to the floor.
“And the coffee?” Grizzy shoved three pieces of bacon into his mouth with a huge grin, expectant eyes landing on Pezzy.
Instead, Smii7y answered for him, “We ran out of coffee grinds yesterday.”
Exasperatedly, Pezzy rubbed at his face as he put the last of the food on its plate. “Smii7y, why didn’t you say something yesterday? I could have DoorDashed some.” He grumbled a little more under his breath, shutting off the stove and moving the pans off of it. “Who has groceries this week?”
“Blarg.” All three men responded, now all eating their breakfasts.
Internally, Pezzy fell to his knees and punched the air in anger. Externally, he took a calm breath, in and out. “Alright. Guess I’ll be going with him for the grocery run.” Pezzy picked up one of the plates and walked out of the kitchen and into the trashed living room.
In the middle of the chaos was a blue sleeping bag, face down in the carpet. Pezzy nudged the lump with his foot, crouching down beside it. “Rise and shine, Matt!” He made sure his voice was as inviting as possible, smiling even though his roommate couldn’t see it.
The sleeping bag made a murmuring noise, shifting slightly, before returning to its stagnant stage. Pezzy huffed, sending a quick prayer of help to God, before setting the plate down on the couch. He grabbed the sleeping bag and manhandled it until a face was visible.
The snoozing face of Blarg let out a snort, tired eyes cracking open to look up at who dared to disturb him while he slept. A dopey smile crossed his features when he saw Pezzy looming over him, his eyes falling back shut. “Good morning, hard ass.” He yawned.
“Wake up, Blarg, we’re going on a grocery run today.” Pezzy shook him more aggressively, before sitting the man up. It took a few tries, with Blarg flopping over and refusing to cooperate with Pezzy’s manhandling, until he was propped up against the couch. Blarg let out a bitchy laugh, but was quickly silenced when a piece of French toast was crammed into his mouth, making him choke for half a second. He coughed harshly, hunching over as Pezzy put his plate onto the ground beside him.
Pezzy, acting like he didn’t just attempt asphyxiation on his housemate, walked back to the kitchen while swiping his hands. “Be ready by noon, Blarg.”
When he returned to the kitchen, the man sighed at the sight before him.
Somehow, while Pezzy was fighting with Blarg, he failed to realize that Puffer and Droid had entered the room to get their respective breakfasts, which is where the chaos ensued. Now, Droid was trapped in a headlock underneath the strong arm of Grizzy, who was laughing loudly despite the situation. Puffer was chatting John’s ear off, ignoring the way Smii7y was glowering at him on John’s other side. And Kryoz was hunching in on himself further, nearly resembling a shrimp on his barstool.
A headache began to ring behind Pezzy’s eyes and he shut them.
Just another day with the Frucket Gang, he told himself.