Chapter Text
Was this really it? After all that had happened to them, between them, Newt was going to be taken out like this, this easily, this quickly? Thomas watched as his best friend writhed beneath his grasp to attack him, his fully black eyes staring up at Thomas. He couldn't let this happen, but he knew Brenda, Minho, and Gally would be back with the serum. They would come any second now and they would save Newt. Then they could all leave. All of them together, even Newt. Any moment now... Thomas didn't have a single moment to waste however, he could feel Newt changing more and more right underneath him. He couldn't bear the sight of it. His eyes became teary, but he pushed it back to focus on the matter at hand, Newt. That was until he heard something.
He was now hearing Teresa's staticy and muffled voice, and it was coming from all around him over an intercom system, "Thomas. Are you able to hear me? I know how we can save Newt. How we can save everyone. I just need you to come back, please." Thomas didn't know if he believed that she would be able to save Newt. He didn't trust her, not after she betrayed all of them. But Newt didn't really have any more options. He knew it would be too late if he tried to take him to Teresa though, he didn't have enough time.
"Come on Newt, please! Just- just hold it back for a little while longer!" Thomas pleaded, desperately. He saw Newt's eyes clear away slightly and he knew Newt was conscious again
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Newt said, weakening underneath Thomas, not fighting against him anymore. Thomas let his guard down for a second before Newt grabbed the gun from the gun holster attached to Thomas's belt and held it against his head, finger on the trigger. "I'm so sorry, Tommy."
Thomas quickly grabbed the gun away from Newt and threw it to the side. "No! Listen Newt, it's gonna be fine. I promise it's just- please! Just wait a little bit longer! You- I know you can do it!" Thomas begged, the tears welling in his eyes as he watched his best friend try to kill himself. He restrained Newt under him again, pinning his wrists to the cold, hard concert to prevent Newt from fighting against him more. Newt pushed against him, eyes clouded black again, freeing himself and moving away from Thomas. He grabbed the knife from his pants, suddenly turning around and slashing Thomas with it.
He pinned Thomas to the ground, knife ever so increasingly inching towards Thomas until he pierced his skin. Thomas let out a scream of agony and pushed Newt off himself. He threw a punch and knocked Newt back down again. Newt quickly stood up, slashing the knife toward Thomas again and again, Thomas quickly backed away, frightened. Newt falls into Thomas and the knife plunges through Newt's chest, full blade into his skin. He stopped his rapid movement, stopped moving altogether. Thomas didn't even know what had happened until he backed up and saw the knife in Newt's chest. "No.." he whispered, watching as Newt looked up at him and looked into his eyes. "Newt.."
He held Newt's body up against his before he became limp and fell to the floor. "No! No! Newt, fuck!" He screamed, punching his fist onto the pavement next to Newt's limp, twitching body repeatedly, making his knuckles cut open and eventually bleed. He holds Newt for a few seconds before pulling his body towards him and cradling him. Newt's breathing slowed down substantially and his pulse decreased. "Fuck!" Tears came flooding out of his eyes. It wasn't for another few moments that he heard Brenda, Gally, and Minho run up, serum in hand. "You're too late." He called to them as he choked back tears.
"Thomas.." Brenda called. Thomas didn't wait around for what they had to say, he put Newt back onto the ground and stood up. He watched as they crowded around Newt, but he was walking away already. He quickly grabbed the gun from the ground and started walking to where he knew Teresa would be. He didn't even care if Teresa had a trap waiting for him, he was acting out of pure blind rage. He was so dizzy and nauseous the whole time, he couldn't feel anything except Newt. He still felt exactly where he had been holding Newt, where the knife had briefly cut into him, and how his heart ached as he walked into WCKD.
He walked through WCKD and to Teresa blinded by unbridled rage, feeling hatred and wondering if WCKD could have saved Newt despite everything. A million thoughts raced through his mind, thoughts of Newt, Teresa, and the unsurpassed fury he was feeling for WCKD, Ava, and Janson. Oh, the things he would do if he saw Janson or Ava. He would scream, punch, and hit them, maybe even kill them. A life for a life. Yet, despite all these feelings, when he actually did see Ava all he could do was ask "Could I have saved him? Newt?" Everything finally fell apart when she nodded, he felt his life crashing down on him and he didn't know what to do.
It was his fault, if he had gotten Newt to WCKD quicker he could have saved him. It stemmed all the way back to the beginning, if he hadn't been so goddamn reckless and ran into the maze would Newt still be dead? Reality came crashing back towards him again when he saw Ava die, right in front of his very eyes. He thought for a second that he shot her, so blinded that he didn't even realize. But no, her body fell dead to the floor, revealing Janson aiming a gun in Thomas's direction. Janson walked towards him, but Thomas threw a punch, knocking him to the floor. Janson grabbed his jaw and quickly lunged forward and stabbed Thomas in the neck with a tranquilizer. He blacked out quickly afterward, falling hard onto the metal flooring.
It wasn't even until he was on the plane that he gained consciousness again. He didn't know what had happened, what he did. All he knew was that he was in immense pain everywhere. He was laid down on the cold hard surface of the metal floor. He vaguely saw Brenda hovering above him, looking down at his stomach and shouting things to someone. His eyes were so clouded over that he couldn't even be sure there was anyone there. He couldn't hear what she was saying, his brain was so fogged he didn't even want to move an inch. It didn't take long for him to lose consciousness again, however. It all felt like an extremely painful nightmare. It might as well have been.
When he woke back up, for the second time, it was in an entirely unfamiliar place. It had looked like a small medical hut, based on the various neddles and bandages that surrounded the area around him. He tried to sit up, but the overly intense pain from his torso stopped him from doing so. He inhaled sharply, finally feeling the pain of the bullet wound he endured. He didn't even know he had been shot, almost everything in WCKD was a blurry haze to him. He slowly tried to sit up again, putting his feet over the edge of the makeshift cot and holding his stomach as he sat up.
He looked around more, seeing a note on the bedside of his cot. It read "Found this on you, thought you might want to see it. -Minho" Next to the note was a small bottle. It was the one Newt had given to him, he grabbed it carefully. He looked at it desperately, slowly opening the lid of it, and finding a rolled-up letter enclosed.
"Dear Thomas
This is the first letter I can remember writing. Obviously, I don't know if I've written any letters before the Maze. But even if it's not my first, it's likely to be my last."
Thomas knew this was his goodbye, and realized why Newt was so frantic to give it to him. It was his last chance to tell Thomas goodbye. His eyes teared up as he continued to read the letter.
"I want you to know that I'm not afraid. About dying anyway or forgetting. It's losing myself to this virus, that's what scares me. So every night I've been saying their names out loud. Alby, Winston, Chuck. And I just repeat them over and over like a prayer. And it all comes flooding back. Just the little things. Like when the sun used to hit the glade at the perfect moment, right before it'd slip beneath the walls. And I remember the taste of Frypans stew. I'd never thought I'd miss that stuff so much."
Thomas chuckled softly, seeing Newt be happy at his end just made him feel a little better about his demise. He knew that Newt was content with the way his life ended and that's all Thomas needed. Of course, he knew life came to an end, everything did. Nothing lasts forever. He just never thought that such a good person would have such a terrible end.
"I remember you. I remember you first coming up in the box, just a scared little greenie, who couldn't even remember his own name. But from the moment you ran into the maze, I knew that I would follow you anywhere. And I have. We all have."
Thomas appreciated Newt for every second he was by his side. He was with him his whole life, the part that mattered anyway. And Thomas knew that Newt felt the same about Thomas that he did about Newt. Thomas never knew the exact word for his feelings for Newt. He would do anything for him, and has. He risked his life over and over but he always knew Newt would be right there next to him to support him. Thomas loved that about him. He loved his loyalty, his compassion, his dependability. He loved everything about Newt.
He just loved Newt.
He never realized it before. Everything that had been happening made him blind to his feelings for someone who had been there for him from the first moment. Everything with Teresa and then Brenda made him susceptible to his feelings for Newt. He knew that there had always been a feeling deep down for him, that he was finally letting it emerge. It was too late though.
"If I could do it all over again I would, and I wouldn't change a thing. My hope for you is when you're looking back, years from now, is that you'll stay the same."
Thomas couldn't do it anymore and finally let the tears out that he had been holding since he arrived in the Glade. He sobbed hard and he didn't stop. He let every single thing out. He thought about Chuck, about Alby, Winston, his mom, and everyone he had lost in his life. His life just came crashing down around him and he didn't have a single say in it. It felt terrible for Thomas. He cried and he cried more, not caring if someone heard him. Even when he heard someone walk into the room, he didn't even bother to look up.
"Quite the dramatics there, eh Tommy?" He heard, and he quickly looked up to be met with Newt standing there in front of him. He swiftly stood up and hugged Newt, both groaning as their injuries got smashed against the other's body. Neither cared, however, and Newt wrapped his arms around Thomas, pulling him even closer. Thomas clung tightly to him, afraid it was just a hallucination. Newt smiled into his shoulder. "Missed me?"
"I- you were... Newt, I thought you were dead. I saw you, you-" Thomas started, talking heavily through tears, but got cut off by Newt pulling them apart and smiling at Thomas.
"Couldn't get rid of me that easily, Tommy."
Thomas let out a sob and pulled Newt back into an embrace. "How'd you- you were dead. You were lying in my arms dead, Newt." Thomas explained desperately. He wiped the tears from his eyes.
Newt sighed, taking a step back and sitting down on one of the cots in the room. "Brenda tried to explain to me what happened. I don't really understand it though. Said something about you and Teresa though. I would ask her about it." Newt looked at the floor, ghosting his hand over the spot where he had been stabbed no more than 2? 3 days ago?
"How long have I been out for?" Thomas asks, previous thoughts inciting his curiosity. "Couldn't have been more than a couple of days, yeah?" As he speaks, he sits down next to Newt on the cot. He felt comfort in being with Newt, especially after thinking he was gone for good. Thomas cherished being able to sit next to Newt again.
"Actually, it's been almost 5 days now. Brenda said you were really out of it. Minho told me you've been waking up occasionally and saying utter nonsense." Newt chuckles, nudging Thomas gently, knowing of his bullet wound and the pain he is probably still in currently, careful to hurt him further. "'Told me you were saying my name too, guess you were quite worried about me, eh?" Thomas blushed gingerly, his cheeks turning a soft pink color as he looked away from his friend.
And as if he could sense the fact that Thomas was awake, Gally walked into the tent. "Finally, if you would've been out any longer I would've thought you were dead. We've got some things to talk about." Gally declared seriously, looking between Newt and Thomas briskly.
"I'll take that as my cue to leave then. Suppose I'll see you later?" Newt asked, glancing over at Thomas. He nodded his head, and Newt stood up and walked from the cot. "Good, don't take too long, Gally. Others wanna talk to him, y'know." Newt joked before leaving the tent.
"Could say the same to you!" Gally exclaimed back before peering back down towards Thomas. "So." He started, "I'm sure you're curious. You always have been. You've asked so many questions since day one. I'm just going to tell you so I don't have to listen to you ask half a dozen questions about it." He sighed, Thomas sat silently, letting him continue. He figured now probably wasn't the best time to interject or ask a question. Gally continued. "So, when we had gotten to you back in the city, Newt was almost dead, like on the verge of not making it. You had run away to Teresa, which I'm still not sure if it was incredibly stupid or ridiculously brave, but I'm gonna say it was just plain stupidity. I mean, who runs into a building that is currently being attacked and also full of everyone who has ever hated you."
"Anyway, Brenda injected Newt with the serum, and it helped the infected part but he was still bleeding out. We got him back to the helicopter or whatever hell that shit was and went to go rescue your sorry ass. Minho patched him up as best he could for the time being as we went to save your sorry ass. When we found you, you had been shot and Teresa was standing with you at the top of the WCKD building." Gally was quickly cut off.
"Teresa? Is she okay? Where is she?" Thomas questioned, Gally groaned.
"I'm getting there, just shut up and listen, shank. So, Teresa was at the top of the building, holdin' ya up. She was trying to get you on the plane but we couldn't land because of the fire so it was difficult. After a struggle, and do I mean it, we got you into the plane. She shouted something about how your blood was the real serum or whatever and that is how we could save everybody. Teresa though," His voice softened, "she didn't make it. The building collapsed before she was able to get away." Gally paused, looking at Thomas sincerely, maybe for the first time ever. "I'm sorry. There was nothing we could do."
Thomas stood up from the cot. "Just... I need a second." Gally nodded and walked out, leaving Thomas alone again.
Thomas felt... shitty. He was so focused on Newt that he didn't even consider the fact that anyone else could have gotten hurt. Deep down, Thomas knew he probably had some kind of feelings for Teresa. Even if she betrayed them all, got Minho, Aris, and everyone kidnapped, and definitely just discovered his feelings for Newt less than 10 minutes ago.
Thomas hates to say it, but as long as everyone else ended up fine, maybe it was worth it. It was terrible, and he knew it. Though, he couldn't help but feel like this was for the best. Teresa had done nothing but hurt them and no one would have ever trusted her again.
I mean, what if she betrayed them again? Sucked all of Thomas's blood out until he was nothing but a husk of a person? Thomas knew she wouldn't, but the thought would always be there, in the back of his mind. So, just maybe, it was truly for the best.
He shouldn't dwell on it anyway, he couldn't change the past no matter how much he desperately wanted to.
He stepped out of the makeshift building for the first time, examining his new surroundings. It was beautiful, he had to admit. The sun was setting over the beach, and everyone looked happy for the first time in so long. Thomas saw Minho and Newt talking a few feet in front of the tent, laughing and smiling with each other.
Thomas had never seen Newt smile like that before. Newt looked happy, genuinely happy. Newt didn't have to worry anymore, he could be happy without any sort of concerns in the back of his mind. Thomas thouhgt he looked absolutely stunning in the dusk lighting. Thomas couldn't stop looking at him. He wished he could feel happy like that right now. Almost immediately, Newt noticed Thomas and beckoned him over. He obliged and joined the conversation. Minho was telling a story about some dumb thing someone did back in the maze. He was laughing so hard about it that he could barely even get his words out.
Thomas happily listened to the rest of the story, laughing along with them. It felt good to be able to not worry about anything. To not have to worry that your life was in danger and at any moment you would have to run. Thomas felt carefree for the first time since he could remember. There was no immediate danger, not that he was aware of, and he was with the only person he needed to be with right now. Newt.
Thomas hadn't even realized it, but he was looking at Newt, very intensely looking at Newt. He figures it's probably because he thought he had lost him, taking the time now to notice all the little features that he wouldn't ever let himself forget. How absolutely beautiful his brown eyes were. How his blonde hair shined in the dimming light of the sun. How he was definitely looking at Thomas right now.
"Something on my face, Thomas?" Newt joked, grinning at his friend. Thomas looked away quickly, blushing again. Newt put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Just kidding with you, Tommy. No need to get embarrassed."
Minho looked between the two before announcing his leave. "I'm going to head out now, heard Frypan's help making dinner tonight." The two nodded and Minho quickly hugged them both before leaving. The two were left in silence for a moment.
"It's amazing, isn't it?" Newt muttered, looking out at the beachline, watching the sunset. "I finally feel safe. For the first time in years." Newt chuckles lightly, looking down towards his feet.
Silence again. Thomas saw that Newt had something to say, something right at the tip of his tongue that just wasn't coming out. So he waited. Waited to listen to every word Newt would have to say. And when Newt finally did begin speaking, he did exactly that. Listen.
"I thought a lot about my life in this past month. I thought about the maze, and the people in it constantly. About you, specifically. I wrote you that letter to try and finalize my life, almost like a last hurrah. I thought, 'Maybe if I do this, all my feelings will suddenly disappear and I will feel perfectly content with my life.' I was wrong. That didn't happen. After I wrote that letter everything just seemed more... confusing. I'm glad I got more time because there are so many things I have to say that I never would've plucked up the courage to write down." Newt sighed and looked over at Thomas. He just smiled dejectedly at Thomas.
"Newt.." Thomas started, but he wasn't able to continue. He didn't know what to say. His words were getting jumbled in his brain and nothing made sense.
Newt started walking off, calling back to Thomas. "Let's go get some food, wouldn't want Minho to eat all of Frypan's cooking before we could get any." He quipped. Thomas just followed him closely, not sure if his words would ever make their way into a formed sentence. Thomas mindlessly follows Newt to get food.
Many greetings between old and new friends were exchanged. It was good to see everyone together again, finally not having to worry if WCKD was going to sneak up any second and take someone away again. It was... peaceful, for the first time in all of Thomas's dangerously lived life. He felt content and he didn't want it any other way.