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At the moment, Taiju has an urn in front of his eyes with what is left of his younger brother. He still can't believe it, even seeing the vessel in front of him, he can't accept it. Yuzuha is standing next to him, there are tears in her eyes, but she does not give them free rein.
Taiju remembers how small the newborn Hakkai was in his arms, remembers how the younger one looked at him with his blue and innocent eyes. How his little fingers clung to his hair, how he tried to shove them into his mouth. He remembers his childish, loud, infectious laughter. He was so sonorous and beautiful. He can definitely say that the laughter of his younger ones is just a reward for him.
He remembers the first time his mother crossed the threshold of their house with a small blue bundle in her hands.
- Look, Taiju,- his mother said to him, pointing at the baby.- This is your brother, our little Hakkai. Come here, take him in your arms, don't be afraid, I'll help you.
He approached his mother, who was sitting on the sofa, and held out his hands, mom at the same moment carefully began to transfer the baby into the hands of his older brother.
- No, honey, not like that. Look, the left palm is under his head, and the right one is under his ass, - the baby Hakkai weighed almost nothing for Taiju. He was afraid that he would do something wrong that would hurt him, but being with his mother gave him confidence.
- Wow, Mom, it's so light.
- So far, yes, but soon he will grow up and become as strong and big as his older brother, - the mother poked Taiju with her index finger at the tip of his nose, which made him giggle. Taiju's laughter was followed by Hakkai's.
Taiju looked down at the baby in his arms, he was laughing, looking at him with his big blue eyes and smiling with his toothless smile.
- Love and protect him,- Mom said, patting them both on the heads.
- Of course, Mom, I'll be a great big brother for him, - there was a fuss in the next room.- And for Yuzuha too. I'll be a great big brother, don't doubt it. I promise you that.
Hakkai regurgitated a lot, and his poop smelled like it could definitely knock anyone down. Yes, he could fight against all possible and impossible angles, but Taiju was always there.
His first vertical position, steps, baby teeth, first word...
-Taiju,- was the first thing Hakkai said in his short life. It wasn't mom or dad, it was his name. Taiju burst into tears at that moment, then sat and hugged the uncomprehending Hakkai. He doesn't even realize how happy he made him.
His first walks, his first attempts to climb on his older brother's bike...
- Oohh, Tai-ni, let me ride your bike.
- No, Hakkai, he's too big for you, you can fall off him, - Taiju was afraid that his younger one might break something for himself. He doesn't want Junior to be hurt.
- Oohh, Tai-ni, please, - and again those pleading blue eyes that he can't resist.
- Okay, okay, we'll try, just be careful, I really ask you, Hakkai, - that's how he taught his youngest to ride a bike, until a week later he began to pedal confidently himself.
- Look, I'm on my way. Tai-ni, I'm going myself," Hakkai said, turning circles around the elder.
- I see, I see, - Taiju said, smiling.
His hugs, his laughter, his smiles, his little concern for them with Yuzuha, even though they are the elders and should take care of him.
Yuzuha, when everyone had already left, leaving them alone in this huge and empty room, fell to her knees and began to cry. She was crying and screaming like she was out of her mind. He sat down in front of her and hugged her, letting her cling to herself with her nails and cry out.
- How did it all happen? How? Where did we go wrong, Taiju, - she clutched his shoulders harder, trying to speak through her sobs.- How?
- I do not know, Yuzu, I do not know, - he himself hugged her harder, thus supporting her.
The body could not withstand such stress, Yuzuha passed out in his arms. Taiju carried her to the bedroom and put her to bed. She was holding up well.
Taiju returned to this room. Now it's just him and the urn with Hakkai's ashes in it. The elder Shiba couldn't stand it. He took her in his arms and hugged her, trying to feel the warmth of his brother, although he knew that he would not succeed.
- Hakkai, I'm sorry, I screwed up, - Taiju said through sobs, hugging the vessel with what was left of his brother.
He will never feel his embrace and warmth again.