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Chapter Text

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." 
― Elbert Hubbard

Your name is Len Kagamine and you think you might be a bit of a hopeless romantic.

While your twin (older by all of ten minutes, as she reminds you constantly) is busy rolling in the mud each and every day with whatever sport she's currently obsessed with, you've always preferred the nice, safe indoors. And everyone should know the indoors are at their best when a romcom is playing and tea is in your hand. While you may not be the smartest person in the history of, well, forever, you certainly do know your love stories, something your twin Rin can't seem to let go of. She's said more than once that no girl would want a pansy like you for a boyfriend, but you figure that she's really the only girl you know who cares about whether or not a girl's a pansy. And will you be dating your sister?

Ew, no. Who would even suggest that?

The point is, none of the girls you've ever had your eye on would think a guy who likes romantic comedies and reading trashy romance novels on a Friday night is the wrong sort of guy to date. In fact, they'd appreciate you coming to the movies with them to see the nextLove, Actually. Although you aren't sure any movie can honestly win out against that, you're willing to give that particular adventure a shot.

It's a pity you're only a romantic in your head. You'd probably have girls fawning all over you if you could manage to pull your head out of the sand long enough to apply the rules of romcoms in reality.

Ha, like that's going to happen.

Still, despite your previously-mentioned introverted tendencies, you're always looking for romantic situations in real life. You never know, any sort of situation could be the perfect set-up. Though you do have to admit that coffee shops have always been the best place to sense the romance, despite the obvious cliché. Of course, you have yet to actually be involved in one of these romantic situations.

That is, until now.

You're at school, alone after having talked to the teacher about a make-up exam the following week. The only students still around are part of clubs or talking to teachers, and there's no one in this particular hallway. Which is odd, seeing as you've just found a lovely little notebook on the floor. It looks like the classic girl's diary (not that boys can't have cutesy diaries, you suppose), with a thin strip of blue fabric holding a place in the middle of the book.

You can't help but peak inside. Just the front cover, just in case it really is a diary. And it looks like you were right about that particular thing, as the words "DIARY OF MIKU HATSUNE" are written in spiky handwriting on the inside cover.

See, this would be the part of the romcom where the boy reads the diary and discovers the girl has a huge crush on him. But for some reason, you're pretty sure that isn't the case right now. For one, Miku Hatsune is popular. For another, she's student council president. You honestly can't list enough reasons why you know Miku doesn't like you. You're not sure you have space in your mind for a list like that.

All the same, you are a hopeless romantic and a girl like Miku is bound to like someone, whether you know them or not. You've noticed teenaged girls are typically pretty obsessed with the concept of liking someone, not that you're really one to talk.

Maybe you, with all of your romantic knowledge and understanding of romantic movie basics, will be able to help someone like Miku be with the person she likes.

So against all better judgment you don't seem to have, you close the diary and shove in the bag. Even if you end up doing the right thing and don't read it, it's better than some other asshole of a student picking up the book. Besides, giving her the diary back will give you a chance to talk to the great Miku Hatsune, even if you have no idea what you'd say to her.

That being settled, you quickly leave the building, unable to shake the feeling you're being watched. Must just be a side-effect of having something you shouldn't in your bag.

January 4

Hehe, this is probably going to be a mess of awkward. If I'm being realistic, it's not like it matters since I'm the only one who will ever read this. I hope. Maybe? I don't know.

This is Miku Hatsune, sixteen years old and student council president! Was that an okay introduction? I was told I'm not really supposed to erase anything in a diary; just kind of… write whatever I think, I guess? I dunno, honestly. It's not as though I go around and read the diaries of other people.

Ahhhh, this is not going how I thought it would at all. I'll try again tomorrow.

January 6

Okaaaaaaay, so after discussing the subject of diaries very in-depth with my close friends (Teto and Mew, FYI; I'm sure you'll be hearing plenty about them in the future!), I've come to the conclusion that I can't basically write whatever the hell I want and I can organize it however. Which is perfect. Geez, who needs their personal diary micromanaged, anyway?

So I guess I'll just be writing thoughts and about my day and stuff. It's basically like therapy without a therapist, I think?

Well, whether it is or not, we will certainly find out!

There's a knock on your door as you turns the page. Quickly, you shove the diary under his pillow, pulling out a teen romance book you've read at least twenty times.

It's Rin, so you're glad you "hid the evidence" or whatever you want to call it.

She promptly rolls her eyes at the book in your hand. "I guess we know which one of us got all the testosterone in the womb," she comments. "Putting aside your crappy taste for one second, can you help me with that essay for English?"

You and Rin have a system. You help her with English and she helps you with math. It's worked pretty well for the past three years and it keeps your parents pretty convinced you still like each other. It's not that you don't like Rin; it's just you hate her about as much as you love her.

"Yeah, sure. Hold on." You toss the book to the side, attempting the inconspicuously adjust your pillow. Unfortunately, the diary underneath does not wish to cooperate and promptly falls between your bed and the wall. And to your ever-growing annoyance, Rin notices the thump as it hits the floor.

That manic light Rin always gets before there's trouble springs into her eyes. "Don't tell me," she begins. "Don't say it out loud. I want to savor this moment."

"Um, what?" you ask.

Rin, with all her speed and strength, surges past you and shoves her arm into that space the diary fell. You're panicked now. Above all else, Rin cannot know you have the diary of Miku Hatsune. You have no idea what she'd say, but you're pretty sure it wouldn't be good.

"Rin, don't!" you shout before you can stop yourself. She does stop, but the diary is already in hand and she's giving you a look you really aren't comfortable with.

"Oh my God, I was right!" she declares. "You have a diary, Len!"

You make a grab for the book, but she's a step ahead of you, leaping onto the bed and way above your reach.

"It's not mine," you insist. The truth is better than merciless teasing courtesy of your demonic twin, who is grinning at you like a cartoon cat looking at a cartoon mouse.

"Ohhh, so now you've taken to snooping into a girl's private feelings? Naughty, naughty, Len," she shakes a finger at you in a scolding way. Honestly, you'd roll your eyes at her if the situation wasn't so dire.

She flips open the cover, reading the writing on the inside. She plants a foot on your chest as you try to make another grab for the diary, and you go crashing to the floor as she somehow manages to stay perfectly balanced. Stupid athletic girls and their stupid balance.

"Miku Hatsune?" she demands momentarily.

You nod. "Where did you even get this?" Rin asks, waving the diary around in front of your face like you have yet to notice it.

You shove her hand away, pinning her arms to her sides and looking up at her manic grin. "I found it at school," you answer. "No big deal; I'll return it tomorrow."

Rin doesn't bother breaking your hold, though you both know she easily could. The diary hangs beside her and she giggles. "It's such a good opportunity! I mean, Miku's nice and everything, but you have blackmail for the student council president." She emphasizes each word like you don't know what they mean. "Imagine what the soccer team could do with this! We'd finally get better funding then the stupid baseball division. Miku won't even see it coming!"

You immediately yank the diary from her hand and hug it to your chest. No way you're letting Rin get this. It's Miku's, and you're ashamed to even have it in the first place. Of course, that doesn't seem to have stopped you thus far.

"Don't you dare." You're surprised to hear a growl in your voice. Rin raises an eyebrow, but seems to decide it isn't worth it.

She jumps from your bed, socked feet hitting the floor with a loud thump your parents probably heard downstairs. "Whatever," is the last thing out of her mouth as she leaves, the door shutting behind her and leaving you in a silence that settles as though nothing has happened. You don't bother holding back a sigh before sitting back on your bed, diary in hand.

In all honesty, this plan is sounding worse and worse with each passing moment.

February 5

Whoo! One month anniversary. I'm honestly surprised I've managed to keep this up for so long. Maybe as a gift to myself I'll go back through and read the last month of writing. Hehe, that's a terrible gift. I'll probably just end up cringing before tossing you aside for another day.

So, nothing to report, really. Mew came back from vacation and Mom and Dad started the marriage-counseling thing. I don't know if it's done any good yet, but it's been a week and they aren't shouting at two in the morning anymore, so that has to be a win!

Enough about that. I'm sure you aren't nearly as interested in that as you are about this particular tidbit. You see, I…..

*insert drumroll here please*

…..HAVE A CRUSH!

Yes, I know. That was silly. But it's a big thing for me, honestly! I don't want to reveal who just yet, since this might be one of those week-long crushes that fade pretty quickly. Or maybe it's an admiration crush? I don't know! That's why I'm going to think about it!

No but I'm super excited because they're just so great. I honestly can't even think of the words because I just melt thinking about them. I know, it's silly and cliché, but I love it! Teto says I'm a bit weird for it, since crushes are supposed to be woeful and heartbreaking. But Teto's just dramatic. Mew and Luka say I'm adorable lately, all floaty and head-in-the-clouds-y. Yes, that's now a word. Or multiple word. I don't know.

THE POINT IS LUKA AND MEW THE SUPER-LESBIANS CALLED ME CUTE AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING.

Haha, kidding. Mew's straight and Luka's asexual, which I still don't understand but whatever. I say "super-lesbians" because they've been best friends for like, their whole lives and they always greet each other with hugs or kisses on the cheek. Honestly, I think they'd be cute together, but Luka's hung up on Kaito and Mew couldn't care less.

Anyway, that's my nickname for them. It's just between you, me, and Teto, though. Luka would not be very amused if she knew.

Psh, who are we kidding. She adores me. She'd be incredibly amused.

And that seems like a perfect note to leave this entry off on, because Mikuo's yelling through my door about dinner. Until next time!

If you were being honest with yourself, you might admit that you find Miku surprisingly… Interesting. She's got problems you never would've guessed about, and her optimism is almost painful sometimes. And above all, she's just so nice, even in her personal thoughts that, until now, no one else was likely to see. It's like the opposite of Rin in every possible way and you're not sure how to deal with it.

One thing you do know, though: Miku Hatsune is someone you would love to be friends with.

You've decided, you'll return the diary before you find out anything else. Already you can feel bile rising in your throat when you think about how you've invaded Miku's privacy, but you're hoping she of all people will be able to forgive you.

That's the last thought you really remember before you fall asleep.

School the next is, when you put it as kindly as possible, hellish. It's not that you hate school because it really isn't that bad. Today is just an especially bad day, with threatening clouds hanging overhead as though they're about to drop gallons of water directly on top of you. Besides that, the usual suspects for your rotten mood (Akaito Shion, Rin, Oliver, et cetera) are also equally at fault. You'd grant yourself a compliment and say you're generally a pretty patient guy, but today is not your day and you know it. you can't wait to get out of this hell crater and back into your nice, warm bathrobe. Maybe pop in The Perks of Being a Wallflower while you're at it, because while that particular film isn't your go-to feel-good movie, there's just something about it that sounds very appealing at the moment.

But first, you've got something to deliver to a certain student council president.

Miku Hatsune is where you figured she'd be after school. In the student council room, with Teto the secretary and a green-haired girl sitting next to her on either side, papers and plans and discussion topics littering the table before the gathered individuals. You feel awkward as you clear your throat and knock on the door to let your presence be known. Miku's the first one to look up from where she's standing. She smiles at you and there's something about it that makes your stomach flutter.

"Kagamine, right? Rin's brother?" Miku asks as she stands up straight and focuses on you. The other members of the council carry on as though nothing has happened. You don't exist to them, which is really nothing new but still disappointing.

"Yes, that's me," you confirm. "Do- do you have a moment, Miku?"

She doesn't seem to question you as she follows you out of the room and down the hall, away from the open clubroom doors. You think she'll be grateful for that small bit of privacy.

"I, er… I found this the other day," you say as you hold out the diary. Miku's eyes leap to it instantly as though drawn by a magnet and she's obviously relieved.

She snatches it from your hands, though you know the gesture was not intended to be unkind. Miku holds it close to her, a very worn smile appearing on her face. At the same time, she looks radiant, as though you've plucked the moon from the sky and placed it in her hands.

"I… I honestly don't know how to thank you," she begins. "I'm glad it was you and not… Not someone else." You're sure she was going to say something else, something like I'm glad it wasn't the other Kagamine, but you don't point it out.

"You're welcome, though… I kind of have to admit to something," you say. You've begun to rub at the back of your hand, a nervous habit you developed after being told countless times to stop biting your nails. Your fingernails might be neat and clean and long now, but the skin on the back of your left hand it raw from your constant rubbing.

"I read a little bit of the beginning."

For a moment, you think Miku might throw the diary right back in your stupid face. But she doesn't. Though she does look hurt, she holds out a shaking hand and takes yours, her diary still clutched to her chest. "Thank you for telling me. Even though it's… Well, I'll be honest, I don't like that you read it. But something good can come of it!"

You look up from the floor and stare at her. "Really?"

"Of course! Something good can always come out of a negative situation!" she exclaims, her smile slipping back on her face. "Don't worry, Len. I'm not mad. Not pleased, but not mad, either. Honestly, I don't think I'd do anything differently if I found someone's diary somewhere." Somehow, you doubt that. "That being said, I know what can make this situation positive!"

"You do?"

She's grinning now. "Of course! Have you ever heard the quote '"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you?' I don't remember who said it, but I think this applies right now!"

You don't entirely understand her train of thought, but you figure you'll entertain whatever it is she's trying to say. "By which you mean…?"

She squeezes your left hand and the raw skin there protests sharply. "Well, you've seen the worst of me, right? I mean, this diary is full of it. And if you want… Well, it would be nice to be friends with someone who already knows the worst about me and still likes me." And suddenly Miku Hatsune, student council president and popular girl extraordinaire, is scuffing her foot on the floor shyly and you swear she's blushing.

"Of course," you blurt at a speed you know you'll be embarrassed about later. Miku's face lights up and you know you're smiling now.

"That's great!" she says. "I've got to go back to the meeting, but I'll give you my cell number and we can text later! I want to know as much about you as you know about me!"

And she runs off, while you find yourself friends with the most popular girl in school.

You're not quite sure how to react.

April 23

It was a stupid idea to bring my diary to school, but I guess it paid off in the end! Of course, I figure none of my thoughts are safe anymore, so I'll be keeping you nice and safe in my room from now on. See, you'll go in my jewelry box! It's not like anyone goes snooping through there, anyway.

Let's talk about this latest adventure. Miku, who in a stroke of sudden stupidity, slipped you into her school bag so that her rampaging mother wouldn't find you whilst cleaning (I don't actually know the proper usage of whilst but it makes me sound smart so shhhhh). Miku lost you, Len Kagamine found you, and now Len and Miku are friends! Whoot!

Okay, it's more complicated than that, but the last day of anxiety has left me drained. I promise I'll try to write more tomorrow, especially about the wonderful Len Kagamine (who is wonderful, if I forgot to mention it), but for now I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight and farewell, diary!

Chapter Text

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
― Friedrich Nietzsche

You're not quite sure how to react.

Miku Hatsune is standing in the hallway, hands on her hips, waiting for you after school. And you just don't know how to react.

It's been a while since you officially formed an odd sort of friendship with the girl, which certainly didn't come about due to any of your charming qualities. Not that you could blame the beautiful Miku Hatsune for avoiding someone like you. But you enjoy it, this surprisingly easy friendship between the two of you.

Hatsune Miku is many things you're not, but today she does not seem especially patient, a quality the two of you normally share.

"Two minutes! The bell rang two minutes ago, Len!" she says in a way that makes you question how serious she is about what she just said.

You don't reply. This is a habit in your relationship; she says something ridiculous, you say nothing. It's not that you have nothing to say, it's that even after being friends with Miku for a while now, you can't seem to understand how you got so lucky.

This isn't the first time you think you might be in love.

You shake the thought away as Miku drags you through the hall, waving to a friend or two. Or ten. Who knows with her.

Not all of her popular friends seem to like you. There's Galaco, a girl whose ego rivals the size of the sun itself. You're more than sure she has a killer crush on Kaito. Doesn't everyone these days?

It isn't just Galaco, but at least the others have the decency to be nice. Mew is unfriendly, but that's probably because she doesn't seem fond of younger boys. At least, in your opinion. And Luka isn't rude, per say… You just get the feeling she's the shy one of the group.

You could write novels about Miku's friends, but you'll restrict yourself to the bare details for now.

"I've cleared my schedule for today! Just the two of us and our quasi-romance," Miku giggles at her joke and you do, too, because you know Miku Hatsune of all people could never love you the way you love her.

And you're okay with that. You've used up all your luck on becoming friends with the teen beauty.

Rin gives you a sour look you don't like in the least as soon as you come through the door.

"Hanging with Hatsune again?" she asks in a way that doesn't really sound like asking.

You hang up your jacket at the door (like the Mama's boy you are, according to Rin) and turn to your sister. "Yeah."

She scowls. You've never understood her aversion to Miku. Rin's not about who gets the most boys or who looks the prettiest. She's mostly cares about who kicks the most ass on the playing field and she couldn't care less about the popular girls. You guess this is why you're so confused by her negativity towards your friendship with Miku. Not that you care what she thinks.

"Don't say anything."

She raises an eyebrow at your command and walks out of the room. You hear thumps on the stairs as she ascends violently, a door slamming soon after. You sigh.

Sisters are so difficult.

You ignore that thump-thump-thumping in your temples as you enter your own home for what feels like the first time in days. Maybe it really is. You're hardly there anymore, what with your exciting new social life. Miku Hatsune and her friendship opened the doorway for you and your floundering ability to communicate with other human beings. You may not like everyone she knows, but there's been a mutual respect between many of her friends. Her friends became yours, and next thing you knew you were being invited to the movies with the popular crowd. You're not popular, though. You know it. But you appreciate the kids who treat you like one of them.

Your head continues to ache with thought as you slide in a movie. It's one of your feel-good ones, a film you think will be perfect for you to get reacquainted with staying home. You enjoy this odd relationship you have with other human beings now, but that doesn't mean you don't miss your nights in.

In fact, you miss them quite a bit.

The couch creaks as you settle back with the remote, a blanket thrown over you. Rin won't be down for at least twenty minutes simply because of her indignation at your earlier actions. Of course, you would be expected to never mention the incident again if you so much as thought about judging her friends. It's unfortunate your sister's hypocritical tendencies aren't one of her worst attribute.

You don't realize you're praying through the opening previews until the menu appears, title music playing a rhythm into your skull that doesn't match that of your prayers.

You shake your head of the thought. Thoughts. Hopes. Whatever word is right to describe what's in your head doesn't matter. They trail off into nothing as you use the remote to start the movie.

You don't realize how sad you are until the end credits are rolling.

Which is silly, if you think about it? Why would you, Len Kagamine, the friend of Miku and an almost-member of the popular cliché, feel sad?

May 3

So you know that feeling you get when your heart gets a bit tight and your mouth is dry and you feel as though you might collapse, but at the same time you could run a marathon?

That's what Luka told me love is. As though she knows so much about it. Okay, probably more than me, but that's not the point. The point is, I didn't think she's be right. And she is. She's so right I kind of want to kick myself.

But gosh, I love the feeling. Every single time I see  them  my heart flutters and my stomach twists and suddenly my brain and mouth disconnect. Me! Miku Hatsune! I can stand in front of the entire school and make a speech, but one single person can throw me off completely! Argh!

I'd probably be more frustrated if I wasn't in loooo~oooooove.

I know I've mentioned not mentioning this, but quite frankly I can't stop thinking about my crush. My love! My darling dear!

Okay, yeah, that was kind of silly. I'll admit it. I've become silly with love.

If only you could meet them…

Miku Hatsune is walking towards you, and your brain and heart thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump in the same way. The pattern settles into a dull sounds you barely hear over the din of the crowded hallway.

"I have something to talk to you about later," Miku whispers in passing. You can hear the smile on her lips, sense the light in her beautiful eyes. You don't have time to respond before she's in the crowd again, off to whatever class she has next.

Biology, you think.

You can't help it.

Rin corners you after school before Miku can have a chance to find you.

She grabs your elbow, her grip fastened to your skin like it's been glued there since you were born, and she drags you off-campus, down the street to the bus you take home.

You yank your elbow away as soon as the crowd has thinned.

"What the hell is your problem?" you demand. You never take this tone with Rin. Rin, the alpha of the family. Rin, who is not question and says things that you try not to let hurt you. Rin, who does not like Miku Hatsune.

She turns to you with a look she's never turned on you before. It's angry, and you recognize the look from when your mother asks her time and again to do something, anything with her cleats that are leaving grass stains on the nice living room couch. "Listen, I've tried to be nice about this," she hisses, "but you haven't given me a choice. You won't listen when I say stay away from Miku, so I'm just going to have to make sure you do."

You shake your head. "No."

"What do you mean, no? I'm telling you, she's no good! I thought this was a phase or something, but now I see that I have to protect you from your own stupidity," she says with a flushed face. Her cheeks continue to redden, her eyebrows cutting downwards, as she glares at you in all your stupid glory.

You exclaim louder than you mean to, "Miku's really nice! All she's ever been to me is nice!" The words unlike you are left hanging on your heavy, breaking tongue.

"She's seducing you! She does it with every boy! She doesn't care about any of you; she just likes making the other girls jealous," Rin says and you can hardly believe what you're hearing. For one, it sounds ridiculous. For another, Miku hadn't seduced him at all. In fact, it was his fault they were in this situation. So why would Rin even suggest something like that? Why would the thought that Miku Hatsune could be all that cross her mind?

You don't know, but now you intend to find out.

"I don't care what you say, Rin," you reply. "Miku and I are friends. I don't see why this is such a big deal to you."

Your sister seems to hold her words in for a moment before continuing in a burst of breath and noise.

"Because she's a lesbo."

August 29

Urgh, I'm such an idiot! I could list all the reasons why, but that wouldn't make anything any better. I'm just… Gosh, I'm so, so stupid.

So you know how I like Rin Kagamine and Rin Kagamine  obviously  likes Kaito Shion? Well, it turns out he likes me. Not only that, but Rin blames me for seducing him! When I explained the whole "liking girls" thing, she went on some rant about how I was just making him like me to make her jealous and how I'd never liked her or any of the other people in the sports clubs because they sucked money from the school budget and that she sees how I'm  always  staring at her like I have something to say and-

Well

I kind of…

Kissed her then.

Yeah, I know. I'm such a freaking idiot. It hurts enough remembering it, but admitting I was wrong so openly when I'm really never wrong… Well, I don't know what to say.

Rin Kagamine obviously hates me.

I'm done with my pity party for now.

You're staring at your sister as though she's just spouted Spanish.

What she said hurts. What she said hurts because you realize it might be true, especially after the years Miku's gone without a boyfriend. It's obviously true from the way Teto has a habit of elbowing Miku and pointing to a cute girl for her to look at. It's so painfully, obviously true because Miku Hatsune told you herself.

"Aren't you going to say anything, Len?"

Miku is shifting from foot to foot, her eyes anxious and her breath shaking. You know this because you pay far too much attention to her to be healthy.

"Well, um," is your brilliant response.

Miku's eyes show depth you've always loved staring into, but right now you can barely face this.

You're okay with this kind of thing. Girls can like girls, guys can like guys, whatevers can like girls, guys, and whatevers (no one has ever accused you of being politically correct).

But you're not quite as okay with this girl liking girls. Sure, you'll be friends, but there's that nagging throb in your chest that tells you why you're not as okay with this as you should be. You swear she can hear it from the way your heart pounds and fluctuates like a bird beating its wings against a wind.

"I think that's really great, Miku," you finally manage. And a weight seems to fall off your friend's shoulders. "Really. I think Gumi's a great girl, and if she doesn't accept your feelings she just stupid."

Miku beams, takes your head, scuffs your blond hair against your head.

"I knew I could count on Len Kagamine," she says.

You look at Rin, blink, and turn to walk away. Your sister shouts at you, telling you to turn around and get your skinny ass back to her right now. But you won't. Len Kagamine deserves better than Rin. Len Kagamine deserves better than nights alone watching romcoms and sucking down soda after flat soda.

Len Kagamine knows he deserves better. Because Miku Hatsune told him he does.