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Quiet was never the same, though she cursed herself for it Beca found she’d learned to yearn to be bothered. It seemed as though there was a gap, a hole she’d been desperately trying to fill, a hole that she’d only ever once known to close.
Eventually the silence became eerie, each argument over in a snap, there was no conflict, no input, she was dating a machine — a machine run only on keeping the peace. He never voiced his opinion, he never chose where to eat, he never complained, he was a ghost of the man she once knew.
“I can’t take it anymore, Jess I can’t fucking take it!” As the words came out of her mouth she felt her breath hitch, regret and relief both streaming through her blood stream in a way that made her want to scream.
“I don’t understand, what’s wrong? I’ve done everything you’ve asked, I’ve never complained, I’ve been perfect.”
“Can’t you see that’s the problem?” Beca spat and in that moment every filter she’d spent so long building came tumbling down. “You’re not even a person anymore! You can’t even tell me what you want for dinner! It’s always me! I make every decision! I’m dating a wall, Jesse!”
“We went out to eat last night!”
“Yeah at my favorite restaurant! Ordering my favorite dish!”
“You love sushi!”
“You’re allergic to fish, Jess!”
“What do you want from me?” He spat with more emotion than Beca had heard from him since their freshman year.
As silence took over the room Beca found her eyes swelling with tears, her heart tearing in two knowing the only way to help herself was to hurt him.
“I want you to leave, Jesse.”
The rest was a blur, final goodbyes were said and all she could wish was for him to yell at her, lash out, say something — anything that would let her guilt melt into an anger, let her feel like less of a villain. But he wouldn’t, he never would.
-
Chloe couldn’t pretend like her world didn’t crash down the day Beca left. There was a sense of ignorance that burned inside her, feeling like she’d spent four years waiting for the moment to be right, for the stars to align and their moment to finally arrive. As much as she’d try to ignore it as each day went by she found herself waiting for a call, a text, even just an update about the musicians life. Instead, she kept tabs in the papers. A bittersweet smile spreading across her face each time she ran into a magazine with Beca’s face plastered on it in the grocery store.
When her phone finally rung it was eleven pm, a groan escaped her lips assuming it was yet another call in to work. When Beca’s picture appeared however Chloe couldn’t help but let out an excited squeal, calming herself before answering the phone and racing across town. Beca didn’t have to ask her to come, she didn’t have to ask anything — that was the difference between Chloe and Jesse, Chloe knew.
-
“You came,” Beca spoke with a slight sniffle.
“You called.”