Work Text:
Techno would like to start out by saying that he likes his job.
Getting to eat good food, that is typically free, on a weekly basis, before having to write merely 100 words judging said food, wasn’t difficult, and it’s finally putting his English degree to good use. Plus, he’s his own boss, so he can return to Phil’s restaurant as many times as he wants under the guise of “conducting an inspection” without anybody getting suspiciousーit’s not like Phil would call his bluff, either, because he’s smart and wouldn’t chase off one of the few customers that could suffer through Tommy’s waiter abilities without complaint.
Besides, getting to judge people every day, while getting paid for it, wasn’t something he could be mad about.
That all being said, Techno does not like the people he’s forced to work with.
Most restaurants, and therefore most management, goes off without a hitchーTechno goes in, gets waited on, eats the food without any complaints, quickly glances at the kitchen and secretly hopes to see rats, and writes up a review. His days are done early, his hunger is always satiated, and he’s getting paid far more than one should for judging people all day. Sometimes, though, he has to inspect restaurants like this.
Pepehands Pizza, a new joint that took over the building that Techno’s favorite Italian place used to be in, was opened two weeks ago, and Techno’s just now making his way in.
It isn’t his fault, every time he had tried to go in the past, they were closedーeven though he could clearly see four workers through the windows, their mouths open wide and their eyebrows scrunched as if they were screaming at each other, moving tables around every which way. He was also convinced for a few days that new businesses were fighting over the place, since the name on the sign changed almost daily, but every time he looked in the windows, it was those same four workers.
That can’t be nearly enough to run an entire restaurant, but Techno’s seen worseーdoesn’t mean he won’t make note of it at least once, though.
That is- if he can even get to the write-up part of his job.
Techno has tried three times now to get into this restaurant, and now he thinks that he should start believing in superstitions, because with the way he’s finally able to get through the door, maybe the third time really is the charm. The past two times he’s tried to enter, the line had been completely out the door, and if Techno was feeling antsy, the people already in the line were feeling worseーhe thinks he even saw someone spit on the window and storm away angrily.
Not a very good firstーor second ーintroduction.
This time, however, he opted to go earlier in the dayーright after they opened, early in the afternoon when most people are still at work. The restaurant was nearly desolate, only a small family in one of the corner tables, a dark-haired waiter stood in front of the table with a polite smile on his face and a notepad in his hand. Techno tore his eyes away from the man, searching for a sign that tells him what to doーhe could just barge in like he’s some king waiting to be served, but unlike some of his colleagues, he doesn’t like to make it obvious that he’s here to essentially determine if a business has to be shut down or not.
Most workers figure it out eventually, anyway, but in the meantime, Techno will use proper manners, just like Phil taught him.
“Hello! Welcome to Pepehands Pizza! Table for one?” A voice, smooth against Techno’s ears, sounds from his right, and he turns to find a man already looking at him with a smile on his face. Momentarily, Techno feels stunnedーhe’s seen his fair share of attractive people, what with having to travel to places all across the city and surrounding areas, and therefore meeting tens of people every day, but there’s something about this guy that causes his breath to get caught in his throat.
Maybe it’s simply because the man is exactly his typeーtall, blond, seemingly-toned beneath his uniform, topped off by a pretty faceーbut he thinks, utterly besotted already, that if his type was something completely different, it would likely change drastically after meeting this man.
Is Techno allowed to award points to restaurants simply because of the attractive waitstaff?
“Uh- sir? You okay?” Techno mentally cursed at himself, clearing his throat and coughing slightly to make sure he didn't spill out any of the words he was saying in his own mind. The man was still watching patiently, his smile twisted in the corner as if he was concerned rather than put offーgood, means that Techno doesn’t have to make the fourth time the charm today.
“Eh- yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, just blown away by the… decorations in here.” As he spoke, Techno’s eyes trailed away from the pretty freckles dancing over a slightly-crooked nose, looking at the walls to find barely anything covering pale, off-white paintーhe’s made a fool of himself far too many times in the span of one minute, he’s going to have to include a warning in his write-up that the waitstaff will make you lose any sense of control you thought you had.
Luckily, rather than calling his bluff, the waiterーDream, if his name tag isn’t simply reused from the past owners (it’s happened too many times for Techno to count, at this point)ーsimply laughed, his emerald eyes shutting as his head rolled back slightly. Techno tried to push away any thoughts about how he’d like to see that same movement in a different, steamier scenario, hoping his face didn’t turn red and betray him this time.
When Dream stopped laughing, his cheeks flushed from the exertion, he didn’t mention anything about Techno’s face being red, so hopefully his prayers worked.
It’s the little things.
Instead, Dream reached behind him, grabbing a menu and gesturing for Techno to follow himーwho did without hesitation. Dream seated him in a two-seater near the large window in the front of the restaurant, far away from the family with young children, and Techno hopes that his “thank you” as he sat down was enough to translate how grateful he wasーplus, hopefully this means that Dream will be his waiter, rather than the dark-haired man.
“I’ll leave you to decide! But, if you need some help, I’d suggest the pizza.” Dream said in his saccharine smooth voice, adding a wink afterwards that caused Techno’s heart to skip a beat. The pinkette watched as Dream left without another word, going back toward the entrance, likely to wait for Techno to read through the menu.
Which, when he did, he almost laughed out loud.
The menu was one page, no back, but that wasn’t even the best part. No, the part that made a laugh gather in his chest, and that explained Dream’s words, was the fact that there was only one thing on the menuーcheese pizza. The only other section on the page was for drinks, in which water was the only one listedーhell, there’s more sizes of the cheese pizza you could buy than there is actual food variety.
If Dream’s pretty face wasn’t singlehandedly saving this restaurant right now, Techno would have already pulled out his computer and began typing.
When Dream eventually came back over, with a glass of water in hand, far later than he needed to with the amount of thinking Techno had to go through about what he wanted to eat, the waiter looked as if he was fighting a smileーhey, at least this place is self-aware that their menu is… barely even that; Techno could at least give them pity points, because he’s not sure the FDA will accept his reasoning of “there is a really hot waiter here” to keep the restaurant from shutting down.
Besides, maybe they only have one thing on the menu because it's their specialty, or something, and they’ve perfected the art of making cheese pizza and cheese pizza only.
Techno’s not sure if even he believes himself.
He orders the cheese pizza, trying not to laugh when Dream snickers under his breath, feeling like he was in high school sharing secrets under the watchful eye of the teachers. Dream leaves him alone after that, tending to the few customers that were able to squeeze their way in during the severely short amount of time it took for Techno to get his foodーwhich typically is a bad sign, instantly showing him that the food is likely not going to be fresh, but when Dream slides the slice of pizza onto Techno’s table, he finds it to be steaming hot.
Or, maybe he was just thinking about Dream.
“Enjoy your food! And if you don’t, hopefully I can make up for it.” Dream winks again, his voice teasing, and Techno shoots his eyes down towards his pizza to try and hide his blazing cheeks. He watches Dream walk away out of the corner of his eye, still staring down at the greasy slice of foodーwhich looks a little burnt at the edges of the crust, but he can’t judge a book by its cover.
… Except maybe he can, because when he eventually bites into the slice after blowing on it for a solid thirty seconds, he finds it to be chewy.
Now, Techno’s been to pizzerias all across the world, to every place with a self-dubbed “slice of heaven,” and he doesn’t think he’s ever tasted anything like this beforeーand, sadly, not in a good way. The cheese isn’t stringy, sticking to the bottom crust as if it’s trying to hold on for dear life, and as Techno brings the pizza up to his eye to get a closer look, he can’t find even a sliver of marinara sauce. The crust tastes as burnt as it looks, flaking away on his tongue and causing his nose to crinkle up.
This is… definitely a pizza, that’s for sure.
He chokes his way through the slice, finding his eyes straying towards Dream unwillingly, the food in his mouth somehow tasting better as he sees the waiter smiling at other customers. Whenever his plate is clean, and his water is almost gone with how much he tried to wash away the taste, Dream swoops back in, all confident movements and strong linesーTechno, against the taste in his mouth, finds himself fighting a smile.
“So? How was it?” There was a lift to Dream’s voice, as if he already knew what Techno was going to say, and the pinkette wonders if the entire staff knows that their pizza tastes like, frankly, shit, and if they just have no way of fixing itーnot a good look, but with Dream in the foreground of the operation, Techno finds himself critiquing less than he usually does.
Which isn’t good, because he should be honest, it’s his whole job, but there’s nobody here to call him out, so he lets himself indulge.
“It was pizza.” Dream laughs, apparently instantly getting Techno’s joke despite the flat and humorless deliveryーTechno finds that he likes the fact that Dream doesn’t treat him like a health inspector, all stiff and awkward, but finds that he just likes Dream’s smile more. “I don’t know, though, didn’t get a good taste, guess I’ll have ta come back.”
After the words left his mouth, Techno’s brain goes into override, trying to figure out where the hell that came from, and why he sounded like that while saying itーlike Dream, all flirty and unprofessional. Then, only three seconds later, his brain whites out, because Dream is smiling at him, his teeth slightly biting into his lower lip, and Techno thinks he might be going insaneーwhich only gets worse when Dream opens his mouth, his tone soft. “I hope so.”
Yeah, he’s definitely coming back… only to get a second tasting for a better review, of course.
… Gods, what is he doing.
-
It took a week for Techno to give in and go back to Dream’s restaurant- he means, Pepehands Pizza.
Unsurprisingly, there’s a new nameーthis time, it’s “Never Raw,” which does not instill confidence in Technoーbut a familiar dark-haired waiter is near the back of the restaurant whenever Techno opens the door, instantly calming the pinkette's heart from beating out of his chest at the thought of the restaurant closing down.
The small lobby smells of steak whenever Techno walks in, and he vaguely hears someone in the kitchen complaining about how “terrible well-done steaks are,” and the corner of the pinkette’s lip nudges up when he recognizes the voice as Dream. Good to know that Dream’s opinion on steak matches with Techno’s, maybe that means the food will actually be decent this time.
“- it’s like asking to put ketchup on it- oh!” Dream walks out of the door that likely leads to the kitchen, his head turned back to the room as he spoke, cutting himself off as he turned to find Techno stood in the doorway, their faces a mere foot apart as Techno watched on. Dream, despite accidentally stopping so close in front of Techno, didn’t move, a smile growing on his lips. “Pinky! You’re back!”
As quickly as the smile rose to Techno’s face, it dropped, his lips twisting into a disgusted frown as he stared at Dream, who only laughed in his face. “Real creative with the nickname, bro, nobody else could’a thought’a that.” Despite his efforts, Techno’s lips formed back into a smile, whether it was because of Dream’s laughter or the fact that he caused it, the pinkette doesn’t know.
“Sorry, sorry,” Dream says, not sounding sorry in the slightest, “you never told me your name, though, I had to get creative.” Dream’s laughter had died down as he spoke, but there was still a pleasant smile on his face, and Techno found himself basking in it.
“And one wonders why this place is named ‘Never Raw.’” Dream started laughingーno, wheezing, like a kettle ーat that, and Techno helplessly chuckled along, more-so at the sound than at his own joke.
He thinks he could make a profession out of making Dream laugh and never have it get old.
“It’s Techno.” The aforementioned man later says as Dream is about to leave, the menuーwith two options this time, a mushroom sauce available to make the steak probably only bearableーin his hand. The blond stopped short, his head tilted to the side like a lost puppy, and Techno pursed his lips to ignore the urge to smile. “My name.”
“Oh- Oh!” Dream perks up, again not unlike a puppy, a grin rising to his face as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Then, the grin turned to a smirk, and Dream leaned forward, slightly leaning over Techno where he sat, his voice slightly deeper than usual when he spoke. “Finally, I can put a name to the man in my dreams.” The blond winked away, walking away with a sway in his step, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing.
For the first time, Techno feels like he fell into a trap, like he was lured into this place by a siren and forced to suffer the deadly consequencesーexcept, the siren is Dream, and the deadly consequences are consuming meat that is possibly horribly undercooked.
And somehow, despite learning all about the dangers of food that isn’t prepared correctly (especially meat), Techno finds that he doesn’t mind suffering through chewy and almost raw steak if it meant Dream would keep saying his name in that way.
He decides that next time, he’ll have to plan around when Dream isn’t working, so he can actually focus on the food for once, and actually do his job. He confirms the plan in his mind, mulling it over into exhaustion as he decides that there is no other way to finish his business here and actually get paid.
And yet, as Dream sets down his receipt, and Techno finds a small heart at the bottom, he finds flaws in his plan from before, and decides that the best course of action is to come back to judge the food, again. It isn’t until he’s out of the building, and a harsh gush of cold wind hits him in the face, that he comes to his senses and realizes how much of a fool he’s being.
And yet, he doesn’t try to change his mind about coming back, y’know, because he lacks self preservation and apparently loves returning to places where his face feels like it’s constantly on fire and his food tastes like shit.
Yet he thumbs over the slight indent left from the heart on the receipt in his pocket, and finds all his inhibitions leaving him.
-
It’s in the middle of his seventh visit to Dream’s restaurant, now with the name “Big Meat”... for some reason, that Techno comes to the horrifying and earth-shattering truth.
Dream probably knows.
Techno’s never once tried to hide the fact that he’s a health inspector. No normal person would wear suits to pristine and greasy restaurants alike, or carry a notebook everywhere, or shamelessly inspect corners for rodents or trash, and even after becoming a familiar face in Dream’s restaurant, he still didn’t bother hiding anything. He finds no reason to be sneaky about the fact that he’s here to do his job, and he’s never had a problem before.
But now, he’s finally remembering that with the outward representation of his status comes special treatment.
As he’s said before, he’s used to it at this pointーto the free meals, and nervous glances, and constant check ups from the wait staffーbut this time, he feels almost betrayed. Or- maybe that’s not the right word, because if he was in the presence of somebody who could ruin his job with a single sentence typed, he would go all out to make sure they’re comfortable too, but with Dream, and his honest smiles, and loud laughter, and flirty words, he thought it was different.
But no, he’s completely positive at this point that Dream must’ve figured outーprobably immediatelyーthat Techno is a health inspector, and therefore has been flirting, and teasing, and drawing hearts on receipts, because he wants to save his job. It makes sense, even more so with the fact that Techno told Dream his name, and therefore the dots aren’t very hard to connect, but the discovery still leaves a sour taste in his mouthーsomehow worse than any food he’s ever had from Dream’s restaurant.
He’s started calling the place that now, easier to keep track of through the somehow weekly name changesーnow, though, the name just makes him bitter, and he finds his lips unconsciously frowning.
Dream’s coming towards him now, though, a plate of steak and mushroom sauce in his hand, and for the first time in what feels like an eternity, Techno doesn’t find himself smiling at just the sight of him. The pinkette thinks of what to say, what to ask that doesn’t sound accusative, because it isn’t Dream’s fault he did whatever he could to keep his restaurant afloat, even if it meant charming the health inspector.
However, he finds nothing intelligent, and it seems his mouth chose for him, speaking without command as Dream sets the plate down on the table. “When did you find out I was a health inspector?”
Techno expected to see a lot of things on Dream’s face when he askedーrecognition, contemplation, maybe even guiltーbut he did not expect complete and unfiltered shock. “You’re what?!” Dream practically screamed the last word, and Techno, not for the first time, was glad that he usually came when the restaurant was empty, because he doesn’t think he could handle any more eyes on him at the current moment.
“Uh, a health inspector?” Dream looked as if he was just told the secrets of the universe, his mouth open and his eyebrows furrowed, his head adorably tilted sidewaysーthere’s absolutely no way Dream could be faking his emotions, and therefore that means that he somehow didn’t know that Techno had repeatedly come to the same restaurant for weeks just to judge the food.
He pointedly does not focus on the fact that he doesn’t even believe it himself.
“Wha- I seriously had no idea. Have you always been one?” For some reason, Techno almost laughs at that; maybe it was at the fact that Dream somehow didn’t figure it out after weeks, or at the fact that there’s now a weight being lifted off his chest, just a breath away from being gone completely.
“No, decided three weeks in that I should get paid for eatin’ this food.” This time, Techno does laugh, but only because Dream’s face finally let go of its shock and contorted into a smile, wheezing laughter leaving his mouth. “So the whole… flirtin’ wasn’t so I would give you a good ratin’?” He can’t even stop himself from asking, wanting to confirm that he’s not making things up, because he’s on the edge of completely enamored when it comes to Dream, and his stupid heart wants to make sure he’ll be caught when he eventually falls.
“No, no, that was just ‘cause I wanted to, it’s not every day stunning people with pink hair come into the restaurant.” Techno wills his blush away, but he knows it doesn’t work, because the smirk that had appeared on Dream’s lips right before he started talking only turned sharper.
“Oh, Princess Bubblegum hasn’t made her way here yet? Strange.” His default when feeling intense emotion is to make a terrible joke, you can’t blame himーespecially not when it breaks Dream’s suave act with laughter, because really, he’s gracing the world with that sound.
This time, on the receipt, Dream leaves two hearts, and it takes all of Techno’s willpower to tell a shitty joke about how he’s buttering him up now that he knows he’s a health inspector, his heart beating rapidly in his ear.
-
“How’ve you been, Tech? The boys miss you.”
Techno reluctantly stops twirling the pasta on his fork, feeling dejected at even the smallest barrier between him and the food on his plateーit’s just so good, and as much as lo- enjoys Dream’s company, he can only suffer through the food at his restaurant for so long before breakingーlooking up to find Phil standing at his table, a concerned look on his face.
He hasn’t been to Phil’s in a while, and it probably doesn’t help his dad’s concern as he gulps down the pasta on his plate as if he’s never eaten before. Because he has since given up on trying to write up a report for Dream’s restaurant any time soon, he’s had to find other restaurants to inspect, and driving to and from places, writing up reports, and spending half the day at Dream’s restaurant has filled his schedule up, and he hasn’t seen Phil in more than a month.
“Just been… eatin’, writin’, y’know, the usual- and don’t tell Tommy you said he misses me, or else you’ll lose the worst waiter you’ve ever had.” There’s a squawk from the kitchen, so perfectly timed that Techno’s suspicions of Tommy and Wilbur spying on him are confirmed, and he finds himself fighting a smile despite himself.
“You sure, Techno? Is work getting too much?” Phil’s concern for him, while heartfelt, makes Techno tense, hoping the man won’t be able to read him as easily as he always has been able to, hoping he doesn’t ask about the fact that Techno is very distracted and fidgety.
He’s never been able to hide anything from his father.
“Nope, nothin’s wrong.” His voice doesn’t sound nearly as convincing as he wishes it did.
“What’s this, then?” Wilbur’s voice rings out across the restaurant, dramatic in origin and bordering on too loudーthe other patrons, who Techno easily recognized as regulars, don’t seem to care. The brunette walks closer, a cheshire grin on his face and what looks to be a small piece of paper in his hand. It isn’t until the man gets closer that Techno recognizes what it is, instantly leaning forward in his seat and reaching for the receipt, cursing his past self for giving up his coat to Wilbur so easily.
“Don’t-”
“‘Techno, sorry for stuttering through my greeting today, but your hair being pinned back did things to me,’” Wilbur was clearly trying to stop himself from laughing as he finished reading the small note that Dream had written on Techno’s most recent receiptーhe's started doing that lately, and if Techno wasn’t keeping the receipts before, he definitely is now. “Techno’s dating someone!”
With that, all hell broke loose, Tommy sprinting out of his hiding place in the kitchen, joining in with Wilbur in making fun of Techno, matching grins on both of their faces. Techno could feel his face blazing, his head bowed down to rest in his hands, as if he could hide from his siblings. Phil looked supportive, at least, but Techno knew when the man was trying to hide a smile, and this time it was written all across his face.
When Wilbur and Tommy eventually calmed down, arguing over something with each other, Techno tore his face out of his hands, his eyes blinking rapidly to get used to the light again. Phil clapped a hand on his shoulder, a smug grin on his face before he walked back to the kitchen, yelling about getting more pasta for Techno over his shoulder. The pinkette begrudgingly began eating again, practically hoarding his food in case Wilbur decided to come back, thanking whatever gods there are when Phil comes back out of the kitchen with another plate of pasta.
It isn’t until he was leaving Phil’s restaurant that night, his coat back in its rightful place on his shoulders, when he realized that he never tried to refute Wilbur’s claim.
And in the same breath, realized that he didn’t mind.
-
Techno has never been brave when it comes to confessing his feelingsーin fact, he is perfectly content to stew in his feelings for months until they go away on their ownーbut if he can consistently eat food from a place called “Sexy Pizza” for months without getting food poisoning once, he takes it as a sign from the gods to go for it.
So, unlike his usual routine, Techno walks into Sexy Pizza an hour before closing, hoping that Dream or the other waiterーSykkuno, who he briefly met before Dream had walked over and told the man that Techno was his (which he has not thought about since, thank you very much)ーwon’t kick him out as soon as the clock hits closing time. He’s met with a grin from Dream, who quickly yells something into the kitchen before ushering him into his usual spot with a menu in hand, as if Techno has never been here before and hasn’t already memorized their one menu item.
The night continues on as normal, with the few other customers fizzling out until it was only Techno left, the clock striking midnight somewhere to the pinkette’s rightーhe’s more focused on watching as Sykkuno flips the sign on the front door from open to closed, his heartbeat in his ears as he realized that his plan of staying until Dream’s shift ends worked.
Speak of the devil, Techno thinks as he sees Dream leave the kitchen, walking towards him with a smile on his face. “So, Techno? How was today’s meal?” The blond has made it a habit to ask that every single time, not even bothering to digest Techno’s answer before slipping some innuendo in, and it still has the same effect on the pinkette after all this time.
However, this time, Techno is going to be brave. “Uh, better- better with, uh- with you.” He cursed himself immediately after speaking, wondering how he messed that up so badly, his cheeks the same color as his hair as he avoids Dream’s gaze. He still hasn’t perfected the whole flirting thing, but as long as it's Dream’s forte, he doesn’t mind.
Dream chuckles under his breath, leaning forward with his eyes half-lidded, but before he can say anything, a voice calls out from the kitchen, a woman Techno’s never seen popping her head in the serving window, a grin on her face and a cake in front of her. “Dream! Your boyfriend’s cake is ready!” Now, it’s time for Dream’s face to turn pink, and Techno thinks it's the most gorgeous sight he’s ever seen.
And maybe that thought is what gives Techno the confidence to open his mouth and ask what’s been on his tongue for weeks whenever Dream comes back, two slices of cake set down on the table as the blond sits across from him, a sheepish smile on his face. The blond can’t even get a word in before Techno does, for possibly the first time since they’ve met, but Dream doesn’t seem to mind.
“Would you wanna go on a date?” Techno’s words were shaky, but Dream had grinned, his eyes wide and practically sparkling as he stared at the pinkette. The freckles on his cheeks were scrunched up, and Techno desperately wanted to connect them into constellations.
As he leaves the restaurant that afternoon, with warmth still lingering on his cheek from a kiss, and a newfound love for the word “yes,” Techno grins up at the moon and thanks the gods for not making him suffer through another round of Sexy Pizza’s foodーand for, y’know, getting him a date, but he thinks he might be more happy about the former.
… Wow, he is a terrible liar, this is why he never got a job as a lawyer.
-
“Techno,” the word was drawn on, almost crooning, and Techno felt a weight land across his shoulders, “you said you’d be done with that.”
“I know, but someone’s gotta save your ass, Dream, gimme a minute.” Dream sighs, but based on the kiss placed on Techno’s head, the blond wasn’t too mad. Still, he stayed draped over Techno’s shoulders, his arms extended out and crossed in front of Techno’s neck, watching as the pinkette continued typing, the words flowing easily now that he’s gotten into a groove.
“Are you done?” Dream’s asked, for probably the fifth time in the past hour, but this time is different, because Techno sighs and lets go of his keyboard, leaning back into his chair and unintentionally sinking further into Dream’s embrace. He quickly reads over what he’s written, and once he deems it good enough, he takes one of Dream’s wrists in his hand, bringing it to his lips to place a small kiss, his eyes shutting as tension leaves his shoulders. “Good?”
Techno nods, and is dragged up on his seat until he’s standing, instantly being turned in the direction of his living room as Dream drags him by his own wrist still caught in Techno’s grip. He settles for sending out the report in the morning, a smile already making its way onto his face as he’s pushed onto the couch by Dream, who settles instantly next to him, the tv remote already in his hand.
“Did you include in your report how I wooed you?” Dream’s smirking at him, his gaze teasing, but this time, Techno can leave forward and capture those lips in his own, just like he’s been wanting to since the moment he stepped into that restaurantーand judging by the smile that keeps interrupting their kiss (and, y’know, all the words they’ve exchanged since they started officially dating four weeks ago), Dream’s been wanting it too.
And yes, maybe Techno did mention how the waiter was “easy on the eyes” in his report, but Dream doesn’t need to know that.