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“Are Mr. Dream and Mr. Blade dating?”
Tommy nearly spits out the poor excuse for green beans as he stares at the new kidーRamboob, he’s pretty sureーwith his eyes wide and his mouth shut tightly in case he actually does spit out the school’s daily vegetables. Ramboob couldn’t have picked a worse time to bring up such a strange questionーlunch is the only time of the day where Tommy can just chill, right before he has to go to gym class, and Mr. Sapnap never fails to assign them a mile run every day of class.
Tommy looks toward Tubbo, who’s sitting between him and Ramboob, seemingly completely uninterested in the conversation in favor of pushing the chicken on his lunch tray aroundーit was his fault Ranboob was even sitting with them, and now he’s not even entertaining him. Tommy sighs frustratedly, glancing at Ramboob, who looks completely oblivious to how stupid his question was. “Ramboob, how stupid are you?”
The other boy furrows his brows, glancing at Tubbo quickly before looking back towards Tommy, his voice not even wavering when he spokeーit should’ve, Tommy is very intimidating, especially to people who try and steal his best friend from him. “It’s Ranboo, first off, and it was an honest question.”
Tommy scoffed, completely swallowing the green beans in his mouth so he doesn’t have to talk with it half-full again. “I can’t believe you would say something like that, Ramboob, The Blade would never date someone like Dream,” Tommy almost shivered at his own words. To think, to think that this new kid who is trying to steal Tubbo from him, now thought that Mr. Blade, the coolest teacher and possibly the coolest man in the world, would ever date Dream, the lowest of the low, the tyrant, the only person who would assign twenty homework questions in the hardest subject.
If Dream was dating anybody, it would be whatever loser invented math.
But Mr. Bladeーwho one time found Tommy playing Minecraft on the school computers when the man took the class to the library, and instead of writing him up, simply criticized Tommy’s lack of critical hits, before walking awayーis far too cool to date anybody. The thought of the best teacher on Earth going anywhere near the worst teacher is fucking absurd, and Tommy doesn’t understand what’s wrong with this boy.
He guesses it is his first day at this school, but still. There is something wrong with him.
Ranboo narrowed his eyes at Tommy, humming once before going back to his lunchーwhich is just a single granola bar, Tommy almost feels obliged to share his school food. Tubbo still seemed completely oblivious, continuing to move his food around on his tray, before the brunette glanced up and started talking to Ranboo about something random that Tommy didn’t bother paying attention to.
Their conversation went on for only fifteen seconds before Tommy cut in, his mind almost completely forgetting his earlier conversation with Ranboo. The thought of the two teachers dating was completely insane, and Tommy stands by that.
-
As it turns out, Ranboo might be right, as much as Tommy doesn’t want to admit it.
Ever since that day, Tommy feels hyper-aware of everything The Blade and Dream do, and how a lot of their actions, and mentions of their home-lives, and so much more that Tommy refuses to look into, could be connected between the two of them. Tommy can see how Ranboo could be confused, as some things about the two teachers seem a little too similar for comfort, but Tommy’s determined to prove him wrong.
Mr. Blade and Dream aren’t dating, and Tommy will do whatever it takes to prove it.
The first way to show his naive friend, Ranboo here, is to simply look at how Mr. Blade and Dream talk about each other. Tommy’s been in this school for four years now, he’d like to say that he knows the two teachers wellーit was his first year actually being taught by Mr. Blade, already having Dream commanding him around for the second year now, but the school is small, and he’s heard the older kids talk about the two teachers more than almost anybody else.
And now, he’s the older kid, and he has to show Ranboo, who Tommy still swears is trying to steal Tubbo from him, what is actually going on.
So, during Calculus, with Dream walking around the room to make sure everyone is doing their worksheets, Tommy raises his hand, bumping Ranboo’s foot with his own so the boy looks up. Dream walks over, standing over Tommy’s shoulder as he looks down at the blank worksheet. “Everything good, Tommy?” The blond grits his teeth at Dream’s words, feeling anger course through him at just how nice the man is, it’s so hard to hate him, like Tommy does.
“No, I don’t, but-” Tommy cuts himself off, his eyes darting around as he tries to figure out what to ask Dreamーbecause he is an honest and truthful man, he can admit that he didn’t think this far ahead. Ranboo was luckily paying attention, while Tubbo stared down at his paper with furrowed eyebrows. “Um- Mr. Blade actually said that I’m exempt from all math homework, so that I can read in our new book- um, which is- uh, Greeting Expectations…?”
Tommy’s sure about a lot of things, as he’s stated before, but he couldn’t tell you the title of the new book Mr. Blade assigned for the life of him.
Dream didn’t seem to buy it, one eyebrow raising as he leaned onto the other foot, his arms coming up to cross against his chest. “Techno said that? Really?” Dream’s tone was accusatory, but also amused, and Tommy glared at him.
“Yes, bitch! He said I had to read the first fifty pages of Greek Expectations-”
“Great Expectations-”
“Shut up. So, I simply can’t focus on fuckin' logging, or whatever, because I need to be reading my book… Mr. Blade said.” Tommy tacked on at the end, hoping it would get Dream to believe him more. He didn’t actually need to read the book, the first fifty pages aren’t due until the end of this week, and he technically already got what he needed from Dream, which was the term he uses to refer to Mr. Blade, but he’s already in deep now, might as well continue.
“Yeah… no. If Mr. Blade has a problem with it, he can take it up with me after class, now do your work.” Dream smirked down at Tommy after speaking, lifting his weight off his left foot before walking away, and Tommy glared at the man’s back until he realized what had happened.
Which… was bad.
Yesterday, whenever Tommy had brought up Dream to The Blade, the man had called him every insult under the sunーnerd, loser, clownーand although Tommy thought it was a little strange how much The Blade talked about Dream, it didn’t even matter because at the time, Tommy was right. The Blade and Dream are not fucking dating, and the English teacher’s insults of Dream just went to prove that.
But now, here goes Dream calling Mr. Blade Techno, and although it’s common for Dream to refer to most other teachers by their first names, it’s weird that he did the same for Blade, who probably hated him. Was that Dream’s version of a weird taunt? To call The Blade by his first name even though the man glares down any student who does the same? Tommy doesn’t even think other teachers call The Blade by his first name, so to learn that Dream does… does not help his case.
But, it’s fine, it’s- it’s a taunt, they’re not, like, friends or whatever, The Blade hates Dream, Tommy’s sure of it, so it only makes sense for Dream to feel the same back.
“What was that?” Tommy looked over to Ranboo, who was already watching him with confusion clear on his face, his hand holding the pencil unmoving. Tommy sighed, kicking Ranboo againーlightly, because Dream would probably somehow know if he was actually plotting to hurt Ranboo, and he really doesn’t want the punishment of more homework questionsーbefore looking back down at his paper, already feeling a headache coming on.
He would just have to prove to Ranboo that the two teachers are not dating on another day.
-
“Tell me again why we’re in the Yearbook section of the library? We’re supposed to be researching World War II.”
Tommy scoffed at Ranboo, continuing to thumb through another yearbook from the large section in front of him. Mr. Sparklez, the senior history teacher, had sent them all off to the library to research “important historical events,” and although Tommy, Ranboo, and Tubbo were assigned WWII, Tommy thinks it’s much more important to get a close, personal glance into history.
“Calm down, pussy, this is important stuff.” Currently, Tommy was looking at the superlatives from another yearbook, pointing out dumb hairstyles to his two friendsーhe’s not given up on disliking Ranboo, it’s just… hard work to spend all that time hating someone who’s always near youーand assuring them that if Tommy were there, he would win so many of these contests. Like, best hair? Tommy’s so much better than whoever they put here, like who even has long pink hair anymo-
Wait a minute.
Tommy brought the large yearbook up to his face, squinting his eyes as he tried to figure out if he’s going insane or not. Sure enough, there, in the best hair category, stands The Blade, looking tense and completely uninterested with his blank face, his hair intricately strung up in some pattern Tommy can’t follow for the life of him. There’s some random person in the picture with him, but Tommy ignores them, quickly saving the page with his thumb as he rushes to the cover, finding that sure enough, the yearbook in his hands was from eight years ago, likely when The Blade was going to school.
Which also means that half the fucking school body should be in this yearbook, because for some reason, most of the teachers are the same exact age, and Tommy knows that most of them went to the same exact school they teach at now… for some reason.
Tommy wonders if they’re all sane or not.
Before he can think about how stupid the majority of his teachers are for not leaving this place when they graduated, Tommy instead jolted where he sat, suddenly remembering that if The Blade’s here, then Dream must be too, and suddenly Tommy was scouring the superlative section, ready to rub it in Dream’s face that the man didn’t win anything. Tommy is going to win all of them in his own yearbook, even if he has to rig the vote, but Dream is stupid, and therefore wouldn’t think to buy people’s votes-
… Tommy stands corrected.
Apparently, Dream did win something, and apparently, so did The Blade. There, under the “most competitive”ーwhy is that even a thing to be voted on?ーsection stood younger versions of the two teachers, standing side by side. Or, more like facing each other, with foam swords in their hands, but still, they’re both there.
And to be honest, Dream doesn’t look extremely different.
He’s still got that stupid, cocky smirk that Tommy swears makes him the ugliest person in the world, his hair still looks like it never touched a brush in its entire life, and he’s wearing the ugliest lime green sweatshirt Tommy has ever seen in his entire lifeーand he’s seen a lot of poor otufits in his lifetime, his own wardrobe included.
But Mr. Blade looked completely different.
Well, he looked similar to the picture featured in the best hair category, except he looked… different. His hair wasn’t intricately strung up, instead left loose down his shoulders like it usually is while he teaches, but instead of the small frown that was on his face in the best hair picture, there was a smirkーmatching the one on Dream’s face. The Blade’s shoulders weren’t up near his ears like they were in the other picture, either, and he seemed completely comfortable pointing a foam sword towards Dream.
Tommy stared at the photo, his eyes narrowed, before deciding that this means nothing.
So what if Dream and The Blade probably knew each other in high school? And so what if Blade apparently seemed comfortable enough with Dream to be less tense than with some other random person? That doesn’t mean shit! Tommy would be more comfortable taking a picture with Ranboob than Bob from math class, but that doesn’t mean he likes the guy!
… Okay, maybe it does, but it does not prove anything!
Dream and The Blade still very much hate each other, they’re just comfortable with each other ‘cause they’re rivals! There’s still no way that they’re dating, and Tommy would still be surprised if they called each other friends. They’re rivals, and Mr. Blade is so cool that he wins every single one of their little competitions, Tommy would bet on it.
“I’m surprised Dream and Technoblade didn’t win cutest couple-”
“Shut up, Ranboo.”
-
Dream was out sick.
Dream was out sick, The Blade was showing a movie in class, and Tommy’s not entirely sure that the world isn’t ending.
Dream is never sick. Well, he probably is, but he’s never been out sick. Tommy’s seen him come to school with a medical mask covering his face (that Tubbo drew a smiley face on and Tommy, reluctantly, drew a matching one on the corner of the mask), and he’s seen Dream just hand out worksheets without teaching anything new (while also looking like death itself), but he’s never called out sick ーeven though, sometimes, Tommy wished he had a day without him.
And on top of that, The Blade never shows movies. Tommy has never walked into his English classroom expecting to be able to skip work in favor of doing something fun, like he does in other classes where the teachers are more susceptible to putting on a movie with enough pressure from the students. Mr. Blade’s entertaining enough to make typically-boring English fun, so Tommy never complained too much about the lack of movies, but he secretly wished.
But now, Tommy’s wishing that he had never hoped for Dream to be gone, or for Mr. Blade to show a movie.
The sub that led Dream’s class today was terrible, and simply handed out some worksheets of elementary school math before sending them off. The entire class had finished quickly, as to be expected, and yet, whenever they tried to talk to each other to pass the time, the old sub would shush them and go back to playing chess on the computer. Tommy had settled for passing notes to Tubbo (and Ranboo, reluctantly), and kicking his feet while he waited for a response, counting the minutes until the bell finally rang.
He had shot out of the room with his friends by his side when the bell finally chimed, ranting about how annoying the substitute was, but his friends were more silent than usual. Well, Tubbo seemed normal, but Ranboo seemed nervousーabout what, Tommy didn’t know. Tommy himself was not nervous, mind you, he doesn’t care that Dream’s sick, he’s honestly surprised it took this long for the bitch to finally skip a day of school.
He wasn't nervous at all for the rest of the morning, until he walked into The Blade’s classroom, strolling behind Ranboo as the blond was more focused on his stomach aching for lunch, which was only an hour away.
He had been in the middle of a conversation with Tubbo about the logistics of bringing a pet cow to school, when Ranboo suddenly stopped. Tommy, who had run into the boy’s back, sputtered in place as he tried to figure out why Ranboo stopped, gazing around the open floor in front of him. He didn’t find anything there, unsurprisingly, but what he did find was The Blade, sitting at his desk, with his usually-straight hair a mess, and his eyes glued to his phone.
Tommy’s never seen The Blade look this… messy in his entire four years here, and it makes his eyebrows furrow in confusion, his hand dropping from where it had raised to punch Ranboo in the shoulder for the abrupt stop. He watched as Mr. Blade sighed deeply, rubbing a hand over his eyes, before looking up towards the door, where Tommy and his friends still waited. He barely even glanced at two of them, having some sort of wordless conversation with Ranboo, his mouth set in a straight line.
Ranboo eventually started moving again, but not towards their usual seatーat the back, chosen by Tommy on the first day of the school year. Instead, Ranboo walked over to the seat closest to Mr. Blade’s desk, plopping down and saying something to the pinkette, who then said something back. Their words were too quiet for Tommy to hear, so he simply narrowed his eyes before walking over to his regular seat, with Tubbo following him.
The weird start to class was apparently only the start, as instead of going to the front of the classroom and beginning to talk about the book they’re currently readingーTommy doesn’t even know the name, but it has a blue cover… he thinksーThe Blade simply stayed at his desk, the projector showing the class the pinkette’s computer screen as he loaded up a movie. It was some random one about Charles Dickens, in black and white and everything, but Tommy barely paid any attention.
The class seemed ecstatic about the random film, but Tommy was just… confused. He spent most of the class period glancing over at The Blade and Ranboo, who both seemed completely sucked into the pinkette’s phoneーare they best friends now or something? Tommy would’ve been offended, ‘cause he’s known The Blade longer than Ranboo, therefore he deserved his friendship more, but he was too busy trying to figure out what was going on.
The classes he had left after Mr. Blade’s were spent with Tommy locked in his own head, Ranboo fiddling with a bracelet that he had started wearing not too long ago, and Tubbo simply doing his own thing as usual. Tommy had been confused, weirded out, and dare he say worried about both Dream and Mr. Blade, and whatever was going on.
Would Dream be okay? Tommy knows that how he acts around Dream isn’t the most… enjoyable, but he can’t let the green bitch know that Tommy… admires him. He doesn’t hate Dream, even for all the insults he uses, and now Dream is sick, and probably dying, and he’ll never know that he’s Tommy’s second favorite teacher, and it isn’t making Tommy feel guilty.
He’s completely fine, Dream’s completely fine, and he’ll probably be back to school tomorrow. And The Blade, he’s fine too, he’s just really busy looking at… some news article on his phone or something… that Ranboo is also interested in.
The more Tommy tries to convince himself, the more stupid he sounds, so he vows to let it go, spending the last period of the dayーcoding with Mr. Notfoundーtrying to ignore how Dream’s absence could easily be connected to Techno’s weird behavior. Dream’s never been absent before, and Mr. Blade’s never shown a movie, and it’s probably not just a coincidence that they both happened on the same day.
But Tommy refuses to admit it, even when Dream does come back the next day, donning a medical mask that suspiciously already had a pink and black smiley face on it, and The Blade, also, seemed back to normal.
It doesn’t mean anything, and even if it did, it wouldn’t mean that they’re dating or anything.
Tommy’s sure of it.
-
“What’s the occasion, big man?”
Tommy watched Ranboo as the boy sat down at his usual seat across from the blond, Tubbo between them on the side. The taller boy had been practically giddy all day, looking far too happy to be in the torture house that is school, and now, he was sitting at the lunch table with an entire collection of lunch foods, but more importantly, a piece of cake.
Ranboo ignored him, settling every food item onto the lunch table before opening the container the cake was in, grabbing three forks from his bagーat least he’s sharing, thank god, because Tommy might’ve gone crazy if he had to sit here eating the school lunch while watching his friend eat chocolate cake.
As it turns out, the cake tasted even better than it looked, and Tommy was tempted to break friendships just to steal the entire cake as his own. He refrained, though his leg bounced under the table as he eyed the food. “I got adopted.” Tommy almost forgot that he had asked a question, glancing up at Ranboo, who was grinning. The boy seemed ecstatic, and Tommy smiled despite himself.
Tubbo immediately began congratulating Ranboo, his own mouth set in a grin, bits of chocolate cake scattered around his lips. “Congrats, Ranboob, was it those foster people?” Ranboo, for the first time, ignored Tommy’s joke-nickname, his smile never wavering as he fiddled with the fork in his hand.
“No, no, they’re different- better, even.” Tommy raised his eyebrows at that, looking towards Tubbo to see if the boy knew anything, but the brunette didn't seem to be paying too much attention, busy sneaking bites of cake onto his fork. Ranboo hadn’t told Tommy about being fostered by a new family at all, but he supposes that he never asked, so maybe that’s his own fault.
“Well, good on you, man, who else knows?”
At Tommy’s words, Ranboo’s smile turned to a smirk, and the blond narrowed his eyes in response. “Just you guys, and Dream, and Techno.” ‘Techno?’ Who does Ranboo think he is? Calling The Blade by his first name ーthe shortened version, too. This is unbelievable, first the boy says that Mr. Blade and Dream are dating, then he starts calling The Blade by his first name? Unacceptable.
Ranboo didn’t lose his smile all day, even during math class when Dream had assigned thirty questions ーin fact, he had somehow smiled even more than before, which was only matched when they were all in The Blade’s class.
Tommy had watched from the sidelines as Ranboo grinned at the two teachers as if they were sharing some secret between themーand he guessed they technically were, even though Tommy and Tubbo are also in on it now. The two men, in return, seemed to reciprocate the grins, with Dream even going as far as to ruffle Ranboo’s hair as he walked by him during class that day.
None of it made any senseーnot the grins, or the hair ruffling, or the fact that only Ranboo’s friends and the two teachers knew about Ranboo’s adoption.
Well… it could make sense, he guesses, if Ranboo had been right on the first day all those weeks ago. If he had been right, it would certainly explain why Tommy had watched Dream and The Blade walk to the same car after school that day, and if that stray thought that stuck in Tommy’s brain like the glue he accidentally stepped on last week was true, it would make sense that Ranboo had followed behind them after a bit before disappearing from Tommy’s sight.
The boy, instead of admitting defeat, had simply narrowed his eyes before muttering “bitches” under his breath, starting the long walk home while his mind grasped at straws to try and go against all of the evidence that he’s managed to unknowingly collect over the past months.
Surely, there were logical explanations for everything… he just has to actually figure them out.
-
Tommy groaned for the umpteenth time, his fist continuing its repeated knocking on the door in front of him, his bag becoming increasingly more heavy in his free arm.
Ranboo had invited him and Tubbo to a sleepover, because he said that his parents would be fine with it (unlike his foster parents from before), and now he’s not even opening the door. Tommy’s been knocking for hours at this point, and his knuckles were beginning to sting. Tubbo was talking about something, and Tommy tried to pay attention to it, but he’s also busy cursing out the door, and he’s never said he’s the best at multitasking.
“- comin’, I’m comin’, calm down,” Tommy’s hand stops abruptly at the voice that comes from behind the door, his brain short-circuiting at how familiar it sounded. His hand was still raised in the air as the door opened, and Tommy watched, his jaw slack, as he came face to face with his English teacher. “Oh, if I knew it was you comin’, Tommy, I would’a kept the door closed.”
The mentioned boy instantly started sputtering, causing The Blade to laugh, backing up so the two boys on the front deck could enter. Tubbo went inside easily, seemingly not even phased by the presence of his English teacher in their best friend’s house! Tommy followed along instinctually, hearing The Blade close the door behind them before he disappeared down a hallway.
Ranboo was standing in front of the two with his mouth moving, but Tommy’s brain was still going haywire, so his ears didn’t register a word. There was suddenly a hand pushing against his shoulder, and he went along with it easily, attempting to clear the static in his mind as he followed Ranboo and Tubbo into the living room.
This is fine. The Blade’s just… tutoring Ranboo’s new sibling, or something. Or- or maybe he’s bringing some homework to Ranboo because for some reason he didn’t get it…? Or maybe The Blade, alone, adopted Ranboo? Yeah, yeah all of those seem viable, Tommy’s sure of it. There’s no other logical explanation, none at all-
“You got money for pizza, right, Boo?” Tommy’s head whipped over at the voice, coming face to face with Dream. The man was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, so it very much didn’t seem like he was just visiting to… also give Ranboo homework, but- but hey, Dream’s a strange guy, maybe he’s just like that outside of classes, it’s not like The Blade or Ranboo would know, because they aren’t a family or anything-
“Yeah, dad, ‘m good.” Tommy watched, with growing horror, as Dream ruffled Ranboo’s hair again, this time placing a small kiss on the bi-colored strands, before leaving through the entryway behind him.
Tommy gives up, he’s admitting defeat. Ranboo was right, all those months ago, Dream and Mr. Blade are definitely dating, and somehow adopted Tommy’s best friend right under his nose, and also probably know the cure for world hunger or something with the way this day’s been going.
Later that afternoon, after Tommy’s mind slowly fizzled into reluctant acceptance, he finally audibly admitted defeat. “Well, Ranboo, you were right. Dream and The Blade are dating, even if it makes no sense, like why would The Blade ever date Dream, that’s like putting pineapple on pizza, what a bunch of animals-”
“They aren’t even dating, Tommy, I was wrong.” Tommy cut his sentence short at that, peering at his friend, who had a growing smirk on his face. “They’re married.”
“What?!” Tommy practically shrieked, his mind reaching its breaking point, short-circuiting as it couldn’t focus on one type of reason as to how that makes no sense ーthere’s too many to choose from. It’s just- The Blade and Dream? Married? Really? Even though he had come to terms with the fact that they were probably dating, marriage is a whole different ballparkーone in which he simply, for his own health, can't believe in.
This can’t be real.
Except, there’s too many signs that point to yes, Tommy’s English teacher and math teacher are married, and also adopted Tommy’s best friend, and also don’t hate each other. Tommy doesn’t think he’s going to be able to sleep tonight with his mind running as wild as it is, but there’s no way he could stop it.
Maybe one day he’ll come to terms with it, and then make fun of both teachers relentlessly for it, and then have multiple sleepovers at one of his best friend’s house and bear witness to the two teachers and how fuckin’ soft they are with each other, and he’ll gag because it’s gross. Maybe one day, but not todayーtoday’s for existential crises only.
“One time I saw them making out in the supply closet two years ago.”
“... What the fuck, Tubbo?!”