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"YN? Hey, YN!"
"Y-yeah? What is it?", you asked, feeling confused as if you got woken suddenly from a deep dream.
"Are you daydreaming again? The guy again?", Crowe asked teasingly, nudging your shoulder with her own.
"Wh-what? N-no?", you stammered, looking around if someone had heard her.
"Was that a question?", Crowe asked amused and watched how your cheeks were reddening.
"Oh, come on. Stop this! I... I can't change it, okay? I mean, he's so.. ugh... He's so damn sexy and beautiful. Alone his eyes...", you breathed with a dreaming expression, resting your head in your hands as you thought about the man that occupied your mind for a few weeks.
Crowe chuckled and shook her head about your fling, not really getting your points because she never saw him in such a way, "You should really talk to him.", she suggested for the thousandths time.
You stared at her with big eyes like always, "Are you crazy? I can't! I- I could never...", you whispered in shock. You were too scared about the reaction of the outcome if you would confess your feelings to your crush.
"You have nothing to fear. Trust me. I have known him for so long. I'm sure he will-"
"Psht!", you hushed her as Nyx, Libertus and Pelna entered the Glaive's common room. You smiled at the boys, you even waved to greet them and Libertus and Pelna waved back - just Nyx seemed to haven't noticed you at all. For some time, he seemed to be occupied with his own thoughts, sometimes even with a grumpy mood.
The boys were barely out of sight as you sighed dreamingly again with a fondly smile on your lips.
Crowe shook her head about you with a smile, "You're unbelievable."
***
No matter how much Nyx tried to ignore you and your infatuation about this mysterious other guy, about his almost 'divine appearance' as you have called it once, it wasn't that easy for him. Every time when you noticed him around, you stopped with your speech but not fast enough and so, Nyx heard more than he wanted about the way you thought about a man who wasn't him.
In fact, Nyx wanted to be this guy. He had no idea who this man was who was lucky enough to gain your attention in such a strong way but it was obvious that you didn't mean Nyx because nothing you ever said was suitable for him. He wasn't divine or perfect, rather quite the opposite.
So, as Niflheim started one of their random attacks on Insomnia, Nyx was kinda thankful for some distraction. To fight on the battlefield would give him time to sort his thoughts so he could focus back on the more important things.
The last thing Nyx had expected was that some things went more wrong than usual. Maybe he even became a bit too cocky for his own good as he tried to fight against several huge demons at the same time to burn off some steam. Yes, it had been reckless. Yes, Nyx knew it. And no, Nyx didn't regret it because it suited his mood just perfectly.
And for the first time since a very long time, Nyx got injured in a way that knocked him out from fighting and training for quite some time, which wasn't helpful for his mind and mood either. He was just glad that he didn't have to listen to your childish daydreaming anymore.
The injuries also allowed him to act in a bad mood, to be grumpy and to have an excuse why he didn't want to see anyone.
Therefore, as it knocked several times at his door, he was more than just annoyed that his friends were too stubborn to listen to him to leave him alone for a while.
"Nyx! I know you're there! Open the door!", you called out demandingly, banging against his door several times with your fist.
"What do you want?", Nyx hissed angrily as he opened the door finally. He just stepped aside as you stormed in before he closed his door to face you with a sullen expression.
Your eyes went big as you saw his appearance. Nyx had some scratches on his forehead, a cut on his lower lip, a long cut on his bare chest that got stitched, his rib cages were bandages thickly and many bruises were building around his hips and stomach. Slowly and shock filled, you moved your eyes back to meet his angry glance. With an open mouth, you gaped at him, simply speechless.
"Once again: WHAT do you want, YN?", Nyx asked more aggressively what caused him to wince in pain.
To see him like this awoke you from your state, "I... I wanted to... to...", you stammered, swallowed thickly.
"You wanted- what?", Nyx asked low, regretting his outburst seconds before because of the pain that was still shaking his body.
"Actually, I wanted to scream and yell at you for... For acting so reckless. Crowe told me what happened...", you whispered insecurely, still shocked about Nyx' wounds.
"Why?", Nyx asked annoyed.
"Why? You ask me why I would like to scream at you? You did stupid things on the battlefield!", you argued back, drawing your eyebrows together.
"Why do you even care about me, huh?", Nyx called out, stepping forward while ignoring the pain in his body, "Since when I am this important to you?"
"Wh-what? What do you mean?", you asked surprised, stepping back by the sight of his raging glance.
Nyx chuckled unamused, "Oh, don't act so innocently. I know about your little, silly crush on this other guy!", he said and stepped forward, completely ignoring the fact how scared you looked as he came closer while you found no way to escape, "All these past weeks where you were swooning over the guy's 'incredible' eyes! And his 'perfect' lips! His 'oh so soft' hair! Oh, and don't forget his sexual masculinity!", he pointed out while stepping forward, mimicking your behavior in a mocking way.
Your eyes grew bigger with surprise and shock, "Y-you.. you have heard that?", you whispered.
Nyx grinned, enjoying your scared expression, "If I have heard you? Of course, I did! All your little base flatteries couldn't get overheard when you were talking with Crowe. I know, I'm nothing special. Obviously, not like him. I get reminded that a lot, trust me. So, I ask once again", he hissed angrily, stepping forward, caging you in a corner where you searched for a way out. Nyx was mad. About himself and the aggression he hadn't under control but he had caged his emotions far too long and now, they were bubbling to the surface. He was mad about you and your wonderful eyes, lips and face. And mostly, he was mad about the other guy who had stolen your heart. The one heart Nyx wanted to have for himself. And now, he had lost it before he even had a chance with you, "Why are you even caring for me when your interest is with someone else who isn't me?", he asked threateningly.
"N-Nyx, I- I-"
Nyx punched with his fist against a spot on the wall next to your head that let you flinch. Pain was punishing him immediately. But as he saw your scared expression, he knew he would deserve even more than just plain pain, "Spit it out, YN! Why do you care for me?"
"Because you are the guy!", you cried out scared, "You're the man I have a crush on!", you screamed helplessly before you slid down along the wall, crying out of shock because of the outburst of this usually so calm and composed man.
Utterly shocked, Nyx stepped back. He was panting for air but not because of the pain in his ribs. No physical pain would hurt him as much as the sight of your crouching frame on his floor was hurting him to see. His mind still tried to process what you just had said, what the meaning of the words were you had just used.
Slowly, you calmed down, wiping away the tears from your eyes with the sleeves of your sweatshirt while you took a few calming breaths. You leant against the wall with closed eyes, resting the back of your head against the cool concrete.
Minutes passed where none of you said anything and as you were calmer again, you chuckled dryly, still with closed eyes, "You know, Crowe always tried to convince me to talk with you. She said that you would be happy to hear my confession about the feelings I have for you. Because she knew you for so long, somehow, she was sure my feelings might be mutual.", you said, slowly opening your eyes to see his still shocked expression, "But I... I couldn't talk with you. I was too scared. Too scared you could reject me. Too scared that you could make fun of me. Too scared that you would laugh at me. Making jokes about me with the others. That I would get humiliated or that I could even lose one of my best friends.", you said followed by a soft chuckle, "But, god damn, I never expected you to scream at me like this. I- I never saw you this aggressive. I never thought you could ever hate me this much.", you breathed before you closed your eyes again.
Nyx awoke from his stasis by your words and closed slowly up on you, kneeling down with still some space left between you two to give you a way out from him if needed, "I- I don't hate you, YN. I could never hate you-"
"Tell that to the dent in your wall.", you said, pointing at a spot over your head where Nyx had hit the wall and where now a small hole was left.
Nyx didn't have to follow your hint to remember what he had done. His head hung low between his shoulders, "I'm sorry. Please, I... Fuck... I'm so sorry. I was so angry about the fact that you would like someone else instead of me that I couldn't think straight. All I ever wanted was a chance with you.", Nyx whispered.
As you opened your eyes by his words, you saw Nyx' slumped down figure right in front of you. He was so close, you just had to stretch out your hand to touch him and because it was what you still wanted, you did exactly that. You got on your knees, leaning forward to cup his face with both hands like something precious, "Shall we start this conversation again?"
Nyx raised his head to meet your eyes which were filled with more warmth than before. He swallowed and nodded insecurely, "W-why are you here?", he asked carefully.
You smiled softly, tilting your head, "Crowe told me what happened on the battlefield. She said you acted reckless and got injured. I... I had to see you."
Nyx crawled closer to you, ignoring his paining body once again, "You had to see me? Why?", hope was vibrating in his low voice.
"Because I care for you, Nyx. Maybe I care even more for you than you might think.", you said softly, leaning even closer.
"How much more?"
"Well, this much.", you whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly.
Nyx closed his eyes slowly, just enjoying your lips against his as you moved them. He moved along, deepening the kiss, pulling you closer with his hands on your back.
You broke the kiss very slowly for some air, resting your forehead against Nyx' with a content smile, "Why have you never said something?", you whispered.
Nyx shook his head, "I couldn't. You were always so glowing and happy when you were talking about this guy. The last thing I wanted was to... In fact, I just wanted to be the reason behind this breathtaking smile instead of someone else... But I also didn't want to take your glowing away."
"You never considered that you might be the reason behind my happiness, huh?", you asked softly.
"No… I had no idea that all the things you said were about me...", Nyx chuckled and winced in the next moment because of the pain that finally took back control of his body.
It was then that you got reminded of what Nyx had endured. Quickly, you stood up, helping him back on his feet and into the bed, "You should rest now.", you said softly and a bit guilt-ridden. Somehow, you were one reason behind his pain.
"Can you stay? I'm sure it will help me to recover.", Nyx asked with a smirk, grabbing your wrist as you were about to leave.
It was the smirk that always let your heartbeat quicken. You gnawed on your lower lip, "Okay, but just until you fell asleep.", you answered, crawling next to Nyx' side.
Nyx flung his arm around you, burying his nose into your hair, "Cute that you think I will let you go. At all.", he whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your ear before he pulled you closer to keep you secure in his arms before he fell into a soft sleep with you by his side like he always had dreamed of.