Chapter Text
It irked Midori just how much Chiaki contradicted himself - there was something hypocritical about the way he spoke and acted that always rubbed him the wrong way. Any time he’d lecture the juniors on maintaining their health Chiaki was always setting his own well-being aside. He preached about honesty and responsibility yet Chiaki would smile even if his heart was crying out in pain.
It was annoying.
Midori didn’t start realizing how much Chiaki did neglect himself until he fell in the gym after practice. He knew that Chiaki was prone to getting sick when the weather changed but he never knew the extent to it until he saw it with his own two eyes.
When Chiaki had Trickstar take care of the Ryuseitai juniors for the Tanabata Festival the situation was so overwhelming that Midori didn’t really have a moment to think about how bad Chiaki’s health was. His own self-doubts and griefs were displayed after Subaru had chastised them in the beginning. Midori could only wallow in self-pity during that time before picking himself up, moving forward with the practices and preparations.
Chiaki had come back for the live show with a smile on his face - Midori didn’t feel relieved because he wasn’t too worried in the first place. To him - Morisawa Chiaki, the leader of Ryuseitai - seemed indestructible.
So when Midori heard the loud thud of a body falling onto the gym’s wooden floors and the bounce of a basketball gently echoing away, he almost felt like it was his imagination. Only when he turned back to see Chiaki on the ground shaking did Midori realize that reality wasn’t painted pretty like in the tokusatsu shows Chiaki always compared life to.
Midori didn’t realize anyone could look that sick. Maybe it was because he led a sheltered life filled with fresh vegetables and a family of merchants that was good at maintaining their health. Maybe it was also because Midori didn’t have many relationships with others that he didn’t realize others could fall ill like this.
Even after entering this new world of idols, Midori was still so oblivious.
The first year had been still, frozen in his spot as he dropped his duffle bag. It took a full minute for him to register what had happened and even then he was slow to reach Chiaki. (If it was Midori who had fallen, he knew Chiaki would’ve ran towards him the second he saw.)
While he was known to sulk, Midori wouldn't call himself a cry baby as much as people would describe Chiaki; but when he saw the way his strong Ryuseitai leader was crumpled on the ground, wheezing and gasping for air, tears immediately welled up in Midori’s eyes.
The third year who was so boisterous, loud and bright looked as if he was being strangled - like he was dying.
All Midori could do was hover over Chiaki on his knees, hands shaking before his voice finally called out for his sensei.
Chiaki’s eyes were closed, beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he struggled to breathe. Midori didn’t even know if Chiaki knew he was right there.
It was shameful when Midori recalled the event for he didn’t call out for help like he should’ve. His mind had processed too slowly and if it weren’t for Subaru and Mao who came in after realizing they hadn’t exited the gym then… Well, Midori wasn't sure what would’ve happened. And frankly, he didn’t really want to think about it.
He didn’t get any answers from Mao or Subaru since they had been distraught over Chiaki, but Midori was responsive enough to follow their instructions and assist them with their senior.
The rest of it was a blur, but Subaru had said something that evening that Midori wouldn’t be able to forget:
“Chi-chan-senpai, stop hurting yourself…”
It brought up a dozen questions in Midori’s head, all contradictions against Chiaki’s person. He wasn’t the type to hurt anyone, so why would he hurt himself? Midori’s logic was still so naive and immature, unaware of the older boy’s difficult past. It truly did make him look privileged and spoiled.
They had gotten Chiaki to the nurse’s office to be stabilized. (Sagami-sensei seemed to have known what to do to help Chiaki breathe easier. He wasn’t practiced in actual medical training, so did he know what to do specifically for Chiaki?)
Chiaki had then been picked up by his parents and Jin had offered some comfort, saying that Chiaki would be alright and that his parents knew how to help him better than anyone else. He would relay any updates from Chiaki’s parents to the others, but Midori didn’t feel satisfied with just that.
Waking up the next day was difficult. Chiaki had always been the one to bang on the house’s door and climb up the stairs to Midori’s room to wake him up. Like an annoying personal alarm clock, except Chiaki wasn’t someone that had a “snooze” button.
Since Midori had gotten used to his senior picking him up, there was an aching feeling in his chest when the routine had been disrupted. Midori had forgotten to tell the other members of Ryuseitai what had happened but he was sure they knew since word got around fast at Yumenosaki, but that morning he did decide to text Tetora that he wouldn’t be in class that day.
He had only been to Chiaki’s house once before and that was only because the senior persisted that they all had a tokusatsu watch party night as Ryuseitai. It was hard to avoid since Chiaki knew where Midori lived and had dragged him out of the house. At the time Midori was a sulking, grumbling mess to have his lazy Saturday interrupted with Chiaki’s annoying resolution, but secretly deep down Midori had enjoyed the viewing. (Not that he would ever admit that.)
If someone had asked Midori how he knew the way to Chiaki’s house after one visit, he would say that he received the address from someone. He wasn’t going to admit that he was paying attention to the route when Chiaki had led him to his house that day. Maybe he remembered it specifically because it wasn’t the normal path from Midori’s house to Yumenosaki that he and Chiaki would always walk on. Maybe Midori remembered it because he wanted to take that path with Chiaki more in the future.
There was no way Midori could ever admit something like that, but right now that wasn’t his main concern. Instead, Midori hesitated in front of the Morisawa household, wondering if he really should be skipping school for this. After all, Sagami-sensei said that Chiaki would be alright, so shouldn't he trust that?
But the questions in Midori’s head plagued him. Specifically the words Subaru had spoken that evening was what replayed in his head over and over again. He was desperate to know more, to understand what was happening and why Chiaki was hurting himself.
The image of Chiaki writhing on the cold gym floor made Midori shiver, giving him the push to knock on the door.
When a woman opened the door, Midori couldn’t help but notice her eyes. He hadn’t met Chiaki’s mother before, but he recognized Chiaki’s eyes. (Well, Chiaki’s eyes were inherited from her, so they were her eyes.) It made him freeze again, nervously rubbing at his arm before turning his gaze away.
“I… um,” Midori started.
“Are you one of Chiaki’s friends?” She asked, offering a soft smile. Midori nodded his head, glad that she went ahead and asked since Midori hadn’t taken a moment to think of what he wanted to say before knocking on the door.
“Oh, I’m so glad. Please come in, I’ll go get him.” Chiaki’s mother motioned for Midori who awkwardly slid inside of the house. He was still as a statue, frozen in his spot by the front door, not sure if he should take off his shoes and follow Chiaki’s mother inside.
She had disappeared down the hall and returned with Chiaki behind her, the senior’s eyes wide behind his black-rimmed glasses.
“Takamine! What are you doing here? Don’t you have class?” He asked. Midori sighed in relief, secretly happy to hear the other’s voice sound so boisterous - normal as usual.
Midori wanted to make a sharp response back on how Chiaki should give him an explanation as to what happened yesterday but that would be too insensitive.
“I was… um, worried about you.” Midori admitted, watching as Chiaki motioned him into the house as his mother left to give them some privacy.
“Morisawa-senpai, yesterday-” Midori took off his shoes and got closer before his eyes widened. Maybe it was because Midori was relieved to just see Chiaki standing up that he didn’t notice how dark his eyelids were and the redness that was spread across his face.
It wasn’t like a fever blush, but it looked a bit like a rash that was spread across his cheeks and the bridge of Chiaki’s nose. It looked as though they were reddish butterfly wings on his cheeks.
“You uh, fell and I just wanted to see if you were okay…” Midori finished before Chiaki blinked, in disbelief.
“Oh… ah! Aha, I’m sorry Takamine that you had to see something like that! But you coming over to my house to check on me? I almost can’t believe it!” Chiaki laughed, though Midori’s brows knitted in confusion.
“Why can’t you believe it?” Midori asked, unaware that he comes off as uninterested and annoyed with Chiaki usually. The question made Chiaki’s laughter stop, the boy clearing his throat.
Midori couldn’t tell if there was a blush behind the raised reddened skin, but Chiaki offered an apologetic smile and a sheepish shrug.
“It’s just-! It’s a school day! I thought maybe you’d um, come after school?” Chiaki explained. While he wasn’t too good at making up excuses, Midori wasn’t clever enough to decipher that Chiaki wasn’t actually expecting Midori to check on him personally.
Midori seemed to be satisfied with the answer but he still awkwardly shifted from one leg to the other, unsure how to proceed. Maybe he was waiting for Chiaki to say something else but the brunet only looked at Midori with tired eyes. Even though he just explained himself saying he was here to see if Chiaki was okay, Midori wasn’t sure how to go about it. Normally Chiaki would be more talkative, his loud voice booming over to exclaim how he was and his thoughts. This silence was unnerving for Midori who had never seen his senior like this before.
“So… are you okay?” Midori asked, rubbing the back of his head. Chiaki seemed to have perked up a bit, offering a gentle smile before nodding.
“Yes, I am okay. I’m sorry to have worried you like that, Takamine. You shouldn’t have to see me like that.” Chiaki sighed. Midori felt discomfort in his chest, those words didn’t bode well with him. “But I really am happy you came to check on me! Thank you for that.” Chiaki grinned, putting his hands on his hips.
Midori’s brows furrowed. Things still didn’t feel quite right. Chiaki wasn’t throwing his arms around him and pulling him into a hug, nor was Chiaki’s voice as loud as it usually was. Though Midori had always sulked over the hot-blooded energy that Chiaki had, the absence of that warmth was leaving him cold.
“You should get back to school, skipping class isn’t something I as your senior can approve of. Though I appreciate you visiting me~” Chiaki offered a small laugh, but there still wasn’t any embrace like normal. Perhaps Chiaki didn’t want Midori to assume he was contagious, but still it left Midori with mixed emotions.
“Yeah, um… Morisawa-senpai can I ask what happened?” Midori managed to bring up the question, not wanting to leave without attaining some sort of answers. It didn’t look like the question caught Chiaki by surprise but he did look uncomfortable despite smiling.
“Ah, please don’t worry about it too much. You already know that I’m prone to being sick when the weather changes, and I was being a bit careless that day during club activities. I’m normally better at being cautious but I pushed past my limit. I apologize for being careless to the point that you had to see me like that.” Chiaki offered another apologetic smile and bowed his head, making Midori cringe back.
It was strange, this feeling Midori had given him more questions than answers. He didn’t like Chiaki apologizing like this, it was weird.
“You don’t have to apologize… I just- we just want to make sure you’re okay.” Midori didn’t know if the ‘ we’ referred to him and the rest of the basketball club or him and Ryuseitai, but in actuality it was Midori who wanted Chiaki to be okay. There were still nagging questions he had that Midori couldn’t ignore.
“Morisawa-senpai what sort of things um, makes you push past your limits? I mean, is it because you were running around too hard or was it too cold in the gym…?” Midori asked, trying to piece together the information. If he knew more about what caused Chiaki to fall ill, they could prevent it right?
Chiaki’s brows furrowed, unsure why Midori was asking these sorts of questions. Midori realized that maybe these were too personal to ask, but he wasn’t very tactful when it came to what he should and shouldn’t ask.
“I suppose I shouldn’t leave you without answers, but it’s a mixture of things. I have an autoimmune disease that flares up every once in a while, but it goes away after a few days or so. There’s no need to worry Takamine~ I regularly see the doctor and keep my body in tip-top shape~ I’ll do better to make sure I don’t worry my juniors anymore!” Chiaki laughed, though Midori couldn’t help but sulk more.
He wanted to tell Chiaki that it would be okay if they all knew, that it would be alright for Chiaki to take more breaks and let them take care of their leader when things got bad. Guilt only formed in his chest, realizing that Midori had really been an irritable brat to his senior who was dealing with more than he realized. Was he adding more stress onto Chiaki that eventually led to his collapse?
The self-loathing returned, but Midori had to push away his own selfish thoughts to remember that it was Chiaki that was truly suffering.
“Akehoshi-senpai had said something… He said to stop hurting yourself.” Midori admitted, looking down as Chiaki’s face dropped. “I didn’t really know what he meant… but I think I kind of get it.” Midori paused to take a moment to think about what he wanted to say next, trying to make sure it didn’t sound too insulting or insensitive.
When Midori looked up at Chiaki he couldn’t believe the expression his senior was making. The smile had vanished and his face darkened. The sunken bags under his eyes looked deeper and Chiaki was unable to keep up a happy disposition.
“Akehoshi said that? I’ll have to message him personally then. I’m sure he’s referring to how I sometimes push myself more than I should, but I assure you Takamine I’m alright.” He didn’t offer a smile to reassure Midori, and for whatever reason, Midori felt like he couldn’t just trust that answer.
“If it keeps happening though you’ll only get worse right..? So maybe you should, I don’t know… Take it easier? Let us lead a bit more. Tetora-kun seems pretty capable… and Shinobu-kun too…” He of course didn’t name himself, but Midori watched as Chiaki’s face scrunched up in another expression he never saw before.
It was a mixture of pain and… anger? Was Chiaki angry?
Midori blinked as Chiaki coughed into a fist, clearing his throat. The older boy turned his head so his face could soften, letting his muscles relax so he could put on that smile once more - that smile he showed everyone.The junior really didn’t know what to make of that, but the tense feeling that only lasted a second felt like dread was pushing Midori’s shoulders down, a weight trying to pummel him to the ground.
“Sorry Takamine, I’m not feeling well. I’d like it if you went home now.” Chiaki’s smile didn’t look genuine - more of a false expression that was a result of politeness.
Midori felt his heart sink at Chiaki’s words - normally his chest would grow heavy when he heard his senpai yell for him across the yard or when Chiaki came from behind to embrace him, but this pain felt different. This feeling wasn’t the same as the emotional butterflies that welled in his chest, what Midori felt was far more painful than he ever thought he could feel when it came to Chiaki.
“...” Midori opened his mouth to protest for a second but ultimately decided against it. Instead he nodded and looked down at the ground. “Hope you feel better… Morisawa-senpai. I… hope I can see you back at school soon.” He quickly admitted before he turned around to leave out the door.
He wouldn’t have been able to see Chiaki hesitantly hold a hand out as if he wanted to stop Midori, but it seemed like being unable to say what was in their heart was a common occurrence between the two.
Biting his lip, Midori held back tears as he let out a loud huff. All these emotions that were swirling inside of the young body was giving Midori a nauseating feeling, something that only seemed to sprout when it came to Chiaki.
Stupid Morisawa-senpai…