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Peter was waiting.
Neal was ten minutes late. The con man was up to something for sure.
Peter stormed up into the con man’s apartment, knocking on the door before trying the door handle.
It wasn’t open. Neal had said his door was always open for Peter.
“Ah-ah-ah! No!” How had they not heard him?
Peter heard a shout and a grunt, along with sound of a fist connecting with the wall. He was sure Neal was non-violent. Now he was doubting it.
“Neal.” He tried again. The con man apparently shushed someone, and opened the door was not Neal.
Some teenager who looked oddly familiar.
“Oh. Yeah it’s totally Hello Kitty’s bus driver Dickface. No, its some middle-aged man.” The teenager added, jabbing a lethargic finger at Peters shoulder.
“Aye, whos this Dickface? Did you commit another crime?” The teen yawned, leaving the door open as he avoided a particular wooden tile.
Could Peter come in? He nearly stepped his foot in the living room when the teen let out a loud shriek.
“Ah! Don’t step on that one. Oh, not that one. Nope. Yeah-No! Yeah that one. The slightly singed one.” Peter sighed, jumping over the tiles the teen had told him to.
“Why? Are those like poisonous?” Neal asked. Peter was tired. It was eight and he was already dealing with his bullshit.
“Basically? The Demon heard I was coming and then he booby-trapped the whole fucking apartment. So theres like three tiles not pressurized to set off into explosive mode.”
“Your talking about like glitter bombs right?” Peter, for some reason wasn’t quite sure.
“No? Their explosive like boom-boom way-ohhh yeahh their glitter bombs!” The teen was very quick at realising his mistakes. A true con man. He seemed young enough to be Neal’s son, and the con man treated him as such.
“Well, are you Neal’s son?” Peter asked, wanting to know more about the con man, but only to be met with giggles.
“There you go Alvin! A fresh cuppa coffee!” A child who seemed near a decade old cheered.
So the teen’s name was Alvin. Well, what a discovery.
Said Alvin paled and took the cup in shaking hands.
“Oh my god. Oh my god. You, you never do that again. Ever. Never do that again. Please. I think I might have that clip engrained in my brain for-fucking-ever.” Peter wanted to say something about swearing but Neal interrupted him.
“That was adorable Alvin! What are you on? Though the accent was unecessary.” Why was Peter even still here?
The kid’s whole godamn personality changed. His posture straightened, the bright cheer on his face disappeared, and on his face was a scowl that neatly melted into his features. Did Peter mention the way he talked?
“I must exaggerate the action as to convince the buffoon. Now look, you have completely ruined my difficult work. The ‘coffee’ is simply milk with cocoa powder.”
“You are evil. Devious little prick.” The teen snarled. Neal just pushed the younger child down, clicking on his anklet THAT SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN REMOVED-
Peter ignored the screaming warnings in his brain. He just wanted this day to end and go back home to his beautiful wife.
“Neal, or whatever your name is lets go.”
Neal replied with a thumbs up, picking up apparently four knives and counting, on the way out.