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Chapter Text

I get dragged out of the holding cell by a Genii, who's also holding me at gunpoint so I wouldn't pull any stunts. As if. I just learned how to use a firearm, why would I try to fight off a well trained and heavily armed Genii soldier? I like being alive.

I hear muffled sounds coming from the room we're walking into, it sounds like someone's being punched repeatedly. And much to my horror, that is the case. Major Lorne is tied to a chair, barely conscious and blood all over his face.

I try to leap forward, wanting to wipe off the blood and take care of him, but the Genii is holding me back. I try to fight him, but it's no use.

"Major", I say and my voice barely goes through, I'm an inch away from crying and my stomach flip flops at the sight before me, but he hears me and slowly turns his head.

"Doc", his voice breaks, and his tone indicates warning. But for what? Danger? Imminent death? Oh God, I am so bad at this.

I immediately recognize the man opposite of the Major, tall, strong build, scarred face - I am looking at Acastus Kolya, whom I have last seen during the storm on Atlantis, when he and his soldiers tried to take over the city.

He's adjusting the glove on his hand - the hand he beats Evan with - and looks at me. He must've immediately recognized me as well, because he's walking towards me, obviously not interested in the bleeding man on the chair anymore.

Anger overwhelms me as he comes closer. I want nothing more than to wipe off that smirk on his face.

"I remember you", he says in his deep voice, "you were on Atlantis the day of the storm. What a tragic event, wouldn't you say?"

"As I recall, you got thrown through the Gate as the bullet hit you. You lost."

I really shouldn't be so smug about this. This is not the time to rub it in his face, me and the others being hostages and all.

"Now I remember where I'd seen you", he says and props up my chin with his hand, "you were in the Control Room with Dr McKay. Until I hit you, that is. Bleeding wound, if I remember correctly. It healed pretty well, not even a scar."

And in that moment, I want to vomit. The memories are flooding over me, like the gigantic wave that threatened to crash into the city. The wound that adorned my face for a long time reminded me how vulnerable I am without the proper training. That was the moment I swore to myself not to be vulnerable ever again. Well, guess it was not enough. I am still vulnerable.

"You're not talking? Shame. You were such an expressive young lady back then. You did have Dr McKay under good control, didn't you?"

"What do you want?", I hiss.

"I want many things, first and foremost the control of your city. But let's start with something simple. Get that Ancient device to work."

"And if I don't?"

He laughs and raises an eyebrow. "If you don't, I'll make sure that the Major's identification is found on a dead body yet again - and this time, it will really be him. Yes, I heard about what happened with Ladon and Gowen."

I swallow hard at this. If I get the device to work, the Genii will have a powerful weapon. Wait. No. The device is gene activated. No gene, no device.

"I can hear the wheels turning in your head, Doctor", he says and walks over to Major Lorne, who's got his eyes fixed on me, "don' t even think about manipulating anything. Remember, I have more hostages than you and your Major."

He is not my Major. God, really, what gives people the idea Evan is my Major?

"I know the device is gene activated and I happen to know that Major Lorne and most of his team carry the genes of the Ancestors. If you play nice, I'll let you and Dr Parrish go."
Wow, he knows our names pretty well. His spies are good.

"No", I say and immediately curse myself for it. I hate the times my mouth is faster than my brain.

"No?", Kolya asks and hits Evan in the face, who groans in pain.

I can't handle this. It's all too much. The violence, the blood, the pain the Major has to endure. I want to go over and hold him, treat his wounds, make him be alright again. I want him to look at me and tell me that everything will be alright. I want him to be safe. I want him to be with me. 
My reply seems to be taking too long, so Kolya hits Evan again.

"No! Wait! Please!", I plead with tears in my eyes and wriggle free from the Genii's grasp, "please, stop. I'll do it."

"Naina", Evan groans and I can hear the desperation out of his voice.

"I'll do it. Under one condition."

Kolya, visibly interested in what I have to say, moves away from Lorne and walks towards me again. His presence and the danger in his eyes make my knees weak and I want to run away, but I have to keep my composure.

"What makes you think I would accept your condition?"

Ignoring his question, I look straight into his eyes and try to ignore the instinct to run away, "I want Major Lorne and his team unharmed and sent back. Just them. No Genii goes through the Gate with them."

"That's a lot to ask for, considering you're not in any position to make demands, don't you think?"

"Yes or no. Take it or leave it."

Kolya turns around, possibly to consider it, but before I know it, he whirls around and slaps me in the face with the back of his hand. I fall to the ground and feel the pain immediately. My heart is beating uncontrollably and all I want is to curl up into a ball and cry. I can taste blood on the inside of my mouth. He hit my lip and now it's bleeding. I am so scared. Scared for my life. But I need to do this. I owe it to the guys.

"You son of a bitch!", I hear Evan shout, but it seems to go by the Genii, because he doesn't look at him.

"You have a big mouth, young lady, and I do not appreciate the way you talk to me. You spent way too much time around Dr McKay."

A tear runs down my cheek and I have to pull myself together to hold a sob back.

"But I am a generous man and I will think about it. In the mean time, I will keep Major Lorne here with me. If you try to escape, he's dead."

The horror that showed itself in that room earlier follows me back into the cell. As soon as I'm thrown back in, I can't help but start crying. It's more than I can bear and the risk of Kolya taking Lorne's life at will is greater than not being able to get the device working.

I slide down on the ground, my back against the wall and put my face in my hands. Immediately, Lieutenant Reed and Seargant Stackhouse are by my side and try to calm me down.

I draw my legs closer to my body and try to focus on one specific point on the opposite wall, right past Lieutenant Reed, trying to keep the nausea at bay.

"Doctor", I hear one of them say, but it sounds far away, so distant, that my brain doesn't make the connection that I'm being adressed, "Doc?"

"Naina!", someone shouts and touches my knees, and it immediately brings me back into reality.

I look up to find Dr Parrish's concerned face looking at me. "What happened? Where's the Major? Is he alright?"

I look away. "He's beating him up", I whisper.

"Who's beating whom up?" It's Lieutenant Reed this time.

I take my time with answering, fearing, that if I say it out loud, I will see it all over again in my head. "Kolya. He's beating up Major Lorne."

"Son of a--", Reed exclaims and stands up.

"Kolya? I thought the guy's dead?"

"Colonel Sheppard shot him after they tried to take over the city, but it was never confirmed that he's dead", Stackhouse answers reasonably.

"I have to get the device working, or he'll kill all of you", I say and take deep breaths to calm myself down, "I told Kolya that I'd do it, but only if he lets all of you go back to Atlantis unharmed."

"And you?", David asks, his eyes widened.

"I'm staying to do my part."

"Doc, what the hell?", Stackhouse shrieks and looks at me, concern and anger in his eyes, "why would you do that?"

"Lorne is on that chair, beaten up, tied up, blood all over his face. He can't endure this forever and God knows whatever else they're gonna do to him. He beat him in front of me. I just-- I couldn't let Kolya continue."

"We'll figure something out." Reed is still looking at me, waiting for a reaction. I nod slowly, but I don't really believe him. There is no way we're gonna make it out of this if I don't do what Kolya wants. I don't even know if I'm gonna survive when I'm done with the Ancient device, since there would be no point in keeping me alive. The only way we'd get rescued is in approximately 18 hours, since we did the first check-in successfully, but will consequently miss the second one. 18 hours can be long.

"What does this device do anyway?", David asks, sitting down next to me.

"There's not much in the database. It said that it'd give you strength, everlasting youth and health."

"How'd the Genii hear of this?", Stackhouse asks, pacing around in the cell. Antsy fella.

"Maybe through their spies. They've heard of the device from someone in the village down the road and put someone there to observe, thinking that we'd come across it one day or another."

"What are the odds?", David chuckles and leans his head against the wall. He really shouldn't be here. He's a botanist, there's no interesting plant life on this planet, but he wanted to observe me and learn more about Ancient technology. He'd rather learn from me than from Rodney. But still, I feel sorry for him. Of course, I shouldn't be here either. I'm allowed to go off-world, but not as an add-on to a specific Gate team. I am only there when the coast is clear and someone needs help with technology. Or when Rodney and Radek are otherwise occupied. Or the latter vehemently declines to go off-world. I try to think of a moment in time when that task actually became mine; when I got on the list of scientists to help off-world. I can't put my finger on one moment exactly, it just sort of happened.

Suddenly, the cell door opens and a Genii soldier steps inside.

"You...", he announces and points to me, "you come with me."

Oh please, haven't I had enough already? Kolya can't possibly have made up his mind yet.

"What about the others?", I ask, but do as I'm told and follow the man. He doesn't seem tobother to answer anyway. 

We walk down the hall. There are other cells, much like the one I've been in, but they're all emtpy. Where are we? Some kind of prison?

The soldier opens a cell and looks at me, silently ordering me to go inside. The door closes behind me, this time, I can't see through bars since it's a closed room. But, oh wonder, there's a window and judging by the light outside, the sun is about to set.

I wait a few minutes and want to see if anything might happen, but even after 15 minutes, nothing happens. No sounds, no explanation as to why I got separated from the others and most of all, no food.

I hope the others are okay.

Chapter Text

Another 15 minutes pass before the door opens, revealing Kolya and some of his men. My heart starts racing when I see two of them supporting Evan, who can barely walk himself. They enter and put him down against the wall. Kolya's weapon is still drawn and pointed to him when yet another Genii enters, carrying a tray of food and a can of water. Thank God, food and water.
As if he read my mind, Kolya says, "you must be hungry. Eat and take care of your Major. And no, the food is not poisonous. I'm not intending to kill you just yet."
Oh great. And again, my Major. They leave without another word and the second the lock falls into place, I run over to Evan and sit down next to him. It's the first time I get a closer look at him and instantly want to cry. There's still blood all over his face, his lips are split open and bleeding as well. There's a cut above his right eyebrow and a bruise is developing under the left one. His eyes are closed, exhausted from the pain he must feel and the hours of staying awake, so Kolya wouldn't take his tiredness to his advantage.
A sob escapes my throat before I can hold it back. It makes Evan open his eyes and look at me. He tries to smile, but whinces instantly from the pain it causes.
"Doc", he drawls out and puts his hand on my knee, "I'm fine, don't you worry about me."
I try not to look at him after what he just said, otherwise I might start crying again. I wet the piece of cloth I found on the tray and ever so gently start cleaning his face. Maybe then I'd be able to look at him without having the urge to bawl my eyes out. I know I don't have to be strong through all of this, no one'd blame me for my tears or make fun of me, but somehow I want to be strong - need to be - in order to think clearly and get the device to work. For everyone's sake.
While I clean the blood off Evan's face, his eyes never leave me and I can feel him studying me, taking in every movement my eyes make, tracing down the wet streaks left by my tears, having cleaned off the dust slightly in their path.

After a couple more minutes, I'm pleased with the way the blood came off his face.
"There, all pretty boy again."
I turn around to get the tray of food, because I'm starving and I can only imagine how Evan feels. My eyes scan the food of what they brought us and I'm surprised to see a bowl of soup. At least he'll be able to eat that, after being punched in the face repeatedly I don't imagine he'll be able to bite or swallow that well. Along with the soup I take one of the cups they left us.
Sitting back on my original position, our eyes meet and this time, I'm holding his gaze.
"Why..." His voice is raspy and he clears his throat once or twice before he starts again. "Why'd you tell Kolya that you'd stay here alone?"
"Stackhouse just asked me the same thing." I fill the cup with water, intending on having him drink at least half of it, but when I raise it, he shakes his head and takes it from me. Good God, is there a thing such as military ego? Now is not the time to think about humiliation. I want to say exactly that, when his face is a grimace of pain and he almost drops the cup. Being tied to a chair for hours does a number to the body and if you're tied up very tight, then, well, it's even worse. At least, that's what I think and by judging the way Evan is holding himself, I'm right. So, I decide to help him, even though he doesn't want me to. I shift closer to him, hold his head, so he's able to lean foward a bit and let him take small sips of water. Now, that wasn't so bad. Or humiliating.
"And what did you tell Stackhouse?", he asks after a couple of seconds.
I look at the bowl of soup that is now in my hands and try to ignore the images flooding my mind. But it's no use and since the Major is still waiting for my answer, I look at him with all the strength I have left. "Do you think I'd let him beat you to death because I'm scared for my life? He beat you in front of me just because of what I said to him. What do you think he'd have done to you if I refused to work for him?"
"I can handle myself."
"Can you?" My voice breaks.
"Can you?" He's right, can I?
The Major doesn't seem too pleased with my silence that follows, but he doesn't push me. He gives up with wanting to eat by himself pretty quickly and lets me feed him, although it is strange for us both. After a few minutes, the soup is almost gone and Lorne is half asleep. Although my stomach doesn't agree with it, I quickly eat the bread and the cheese-like things left on the tray. I'm not really hungry, but God knows I need the strength to deal with what might come tomorrow.
"You should get some rest", Evan says almost commandingly.
"What if they come back?" ...and take you away again, I think, but don't say it. God knows what they could do to him or have already done. Now matter how much I want to go home, I did not want to risk his life to be able to go. I want him to go with me.
"They won't."
"But what if?"
"Naina, we can either stay awake and wait for them to come back or we can get some much needed rest until they come back. I, for my part, would like to get some rest. I just got a pretty good beating, I think I have every right to."
"Of course you do, but..." Aren't there rules not to let someone fall asleep who just got beaten up? Or was that just in cases of concussions?
"Not up for discussion, doc. Now get over here."
Uh, okay?! I don't move because I sure as hell am not sure what exactly he means by "get over here".
When he holds open his uniform jacket on one side, it occurs to me that he wants me in his arms.
"For warmth."
Oh shoot, right. Warmth. That didn't cross my mind. Sure.
I - for the lack of a better word - snuggle up against him, gently resting my hand on his chest and my head on his shoulder. I get the idea that, if I take off my own jacket and drape it over us, it should help us even more. So that's what I do and I swear there's a chuckle coming from the other man as I lay back down.
"Not quite the scenario I had in mind when I think of you taking off your clothes in front of me, but sure. It's a start."
How the hell can he be in a joking mood right now? And what's with the taking off your clothes in front of me?
"It's as far as I'll go." The answer came out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"Now or ever?"
A strange warm feeling builds in my stomach and I feel myself flush. Good thing he can't see me.
"Shut up and sleep, Major. We'll talk tomorrow."
"I'll hold you to it."
There's a long, shaky breath, before his grip around my shoulder pulls me closer to him. Before I can think anything of it, I drift off to sleep. He was right, we both needed it.

The next time I'm awake, my first instinct is to check if Lorne's still alive. Holding my own breath, I watch his chest rise and fall slowly. Oh, thank God. I tilt my head back to see if he's awake or not and look straight into his blue eyes, which seem more alert than last night.
"Mornin' doc", he says and smiles.
Morning? I sit straight up and look out the window, but it's still dark out. "How long was I asleep?"
"Give or take four hours."
Four? "How long did you sleep?"
He shrugs as if it's not worth mentioning. "An hour or two."
"What? You need to rest, Major. And by that I mean sleep and not watch me sleep, you creep."
"It's the soldier in me. I jerk awake at the smallest sounds. I don't really sleep off-world. I nap. I...uh...doze. And thanks for the nickname."
I haven't noticed it before but the air around us has cooled off considerably and I shiver. I should've stayed in that warm cocoon.
"Did you hear anything?"
"Other than the very active wild life, no. Nothing."
I shiver again and goose bumps start to appear all over my arms.
"Get back here, Naina. You're cold."
Again, I hesitate. Why, I have no idea, but the prospect of warmth draws me back into his arms. I pull my legs up against my body and lean into him and somehow, it seems like the most natural thing. Like we fit, his body and mine next to each other. When his free hand runs up and down my arm, my hearts racing. Damnit, Naina, this is a really bad timing to fall head over heels with someone. With Major Lorne. With Evan. The worst timing ever!
"You ok?", he asks eventually.
I feel much too comfortable to think about the situation we're in, but I get thrown back into reality by his question. No, I am not okay. And I don't think it'll get better. I don't see a way out.
"I'm fine." Liar, I think to myself.
"That wasn't very convincing."
Now what can I reply to that? I could spend hours and hours debating with him if I'm okay or not and maybe at some point, I'd believe it myself. I don't want to admit it to myself because I fear that once I do, I will go back to this dark place I've been in after my sister's death. And much like the timing to admit your feelings for the person you're leaning against in a dark Genii cell, this would be an equally bad timing to have the depressions return. Who knows if I'd ever make it out again. And then what? Getting sent back to Earth, never seeing anyone from Atlantis again? No.
"We're gonna get out of this."
I just nod at this and realize, that he can't actually see me nod. If at all, he can feel my head moving. "Yeah", is the only thing I say, before I snuggle closer to him and let a few tears roll down my face.
"You need to work on that."
"On what?"
"Sounding convinced."
"I'm not good at lying."
He chuckles briefly. "Yeah, not gonna argue with that. You really are a bad liar. But I like that about you. You say what's on your mind, you don't lie just to make other people feel better."
"It's not always the best way." And it really isn't. I'd like to be able to lie to someone in order to make the situation better. I can't even lie to myself and tell myself that everything will be alright.
"If anything, it's courageous."
"I'm not brave."
"What are you talking about? Of course you are! You being here in Pegasus takes a lot of courage." I'm not gonna tell him that all I wanted was to get away from Earth as far as possible. Pretty selfish. "You just stood up against Kolya and told him your condition and made him think about it."
"Yes and what did I get in return? A bloody lip." Absent-mindedly, I touch it and whince at the pain. "Ow..."
"Still, that was brave." There's a faint laugh. "And maybe a little stupid."
"I couldn't just give him a reason to beat you again." He doesn't reply, I just hear him breathing in and out slowly and deeply. "When I saw you there..." My voice breaks and I fight the tears that threaten to build in my eyes. I guess I'll have nightmares about this for sure.
"Look at me", he says eventually and it takes a few seconds for me to realize that he actually wants me to turn my head so he could look at me, "I need you to clear your mind of that, okay? I know it'll be hard, but I need you as clear headed as possible so we can find a way to get out of here. We'll deal with the fallout later. Together. Alright?" The blue in his eyes is intense as I have never seen it and I think of getting lost in them. I want to look into them forever. But no, first, we need to get out of this cell. But then what? How will this thing between Evan and me continue? No..just...focus.
"Doc?" He's getting impatient waiting for my answer and I notice only now that one of his hands is caressing my cheek.
I nod slowly. "Yeah."
"Promise me, you won't freak out on me."
"I won't, I promise."
"Okay, good." Evan seems satisfied with my answer and I expect him to lower his arm, since it's the one he can't hold up for very long, but his hand stays there, not moving an inch and this, THIS, is actually freaking me out. The kind of feeling and thoughts it gives me to be this close to him, to be mesmerized by his eyes and the constant beating of his heart, to be enveloped by the warmth of his body and the blue of his eyes. It is freaking the hell out of me because frankly, I never thought about Lorne that way. I have never thought that way about anyone ever in my life.
His eyes are still locked with mine and I can hear the wheels turning in his head. I'm actually holding my breath, afraid to move just a little bit and ruin that moment.
But this is really not the place or the time to act on any feelings. It could just be the adrenaline, the prospect of dying or just simply the closeness we share at the moment. I made a promise not to freak out on him and the only way not to is to lock away any kind of feeling.
"Evan...", I whisper eventually, still afraid of breaking up the intensity.
He lowers his eyes, along with his hand, and clears his throat once. "We should get some rest while we still can."
I nod and lean myself back against him. Maybe not the best decision right now, but the only way not to die of hypothermia.
"I'd go nuts if you weren't here", I say and yawn. I feel the adrenaline slowly wearing off.
In response to that, I can literally hear him smiling. "There's no place I'd rather be."