Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Clementine awoke to a familiar, moldy ceiling, with a far less fondly remembered pounding throughout her body. 

Immediately, she shut her eyes again, willing sleep to overtake her again. It was a losing battle, it always was, but it sure didn’t stop her from trying.

Her head was throbbing, which wasn’t new, but it was a hard second-place in comparison to the agony her leg was in, which was new. In her half-asleep, deliriously pain-filled brain, she wondered if she’d gotten crushed under something. Or was dying.

Which did, however, kickstart her into remembering the last time she woke up like this; facing that same ceiling, confused as all hell, and her body trying to maul itself. If her memory served correctly, it was after she’d wrecked a car and AJ was outside biting people.

Ah, shit, that was it; AJ.

Clementine’s shut eyes squeezed even tighter as the flare in her leg spiked up again at the recollection. Collapsed in an old barn, walkers everywhere, and a six-year-old with tears staining his face and an axe in hand.

AJ shouldn’t see me like this. He deserves a better last memory than that.

That had been her last thought. She knew this. In fact, she was sure it would be her last thought ever, with nothing but an image of a distant, long dead eight-year-old girl with a pistol in hand and a dying man laying before her to accompany it.

And yet, here she was, decidedly not dead.

The pain in her leg wasn’t going away, so that probably wasn’t a fluke. Sometimes she’d get random stabs of pain, but they usually went away after twisting a certain direction or letting it pass a few seconds later. This was, evidently, not that.

Clementine started to lift her head, cracking open her eyes. She aborted it halfway through and instead let her head fall back onto the pillow with a groan. Too much effort, not enough energy.

She shouldn’t be here. Which was normally not what most people thought when they realized they weren’t dead, but come on.

She should be buried in a grave by the wall, or a corpse with a hole in its head crumpled in a barn, or the dead brought back and eager to hunt anything that moved. Not laying in this bed, alive.

At least she probably wasn’t going to turn, a part of her brain said. Which was a thought she paused on. Used as a lifeline, really, because otherwise she was going to fall apart into a jumbled mess of I think falling off a cliff would be a less agonizing death than this.

Sure, she felt like shit, but there was a severe lack of ‘wow, my insides feel like they are slowly screaming and dying from the ground up’ that she had back in that barn. Which meant either this is what turning felt like, she was being dramatic in the barn and the bite hadn’t been deep enough, or…

Her hands clenched into fists and she braced her arms beside her, despite everything yelling at her to fall back into nothing and never wake up again.

There was barely any light in the room, the only source being flickers through the boards over the window. Likely dawn or dusk. Which meant either AJ had just gotten her back, or it had already been a whole day. Or maybe longer, she could’ve been in bed for well over a day for all she knew.

And wasn’t that a terrifying thought, not knowing. She was used to it, but that didn’t mean it scared her any less. You couldn’t not know things when you had someone depending on you.

Lee had done one hell of a job, she thought as she started to slowly push herself upright again. Turning had looked downright terrifying, and it still was, but he’d handled it a whole hell of a lot better than she did, in her humble opinion. It was a constant struggle to not start sobbing on the spot. Both from the pain and just how desperately she wanted to live. God knows Lee deserved better, but his sacrifice had to give her at least another decade at life, otherwise it was pointless, wasn’t it?

Just one more year had been her mantra since she was fairly certain she’d turned roughly-seventeen. Just one more year, and it’ll have been worth it.

Granted, she’d been telling herself such things since that first year on her own. Just two more years, then I’ll be ten, and it’ll be worth it and just three more years, then I’ll be thirteen, and it’ll have made a difference and just a little longer, then I’ll be fifteen, and it can be over.

With that, she gave one last hard, firm shove with her arms. 

And misjudged just how hard she was shoving with both arms, because she promptly tumbled right off the side of the bed.

It was probably a bit concerning that her consciousness skipped right over the ‘falling’ part and came right back to her when she was already in a heap on the floor. But it certainly wasn’t surprising.

She groaned, one hand moving up to wrap around her head where it’d hit the ground. Great going, dumbass, you want to add a concussion on top of your headache?

Christ, she sounded like Violet. Which was almost enough to startle her upright and ignore the writhing pain. Almost.

Everything felt like it was being weighed down by stones, crawling with needles, and on fire. A horrible combination, if you ask her. She’d rather get bitten by another dog than deal with this ever again.

Her eyelids felt heavy, and she tried to kick out at something, get a grip on anything, to stay awake. Something warm and wet was clinging to her leg, and she internally cursed if she managed to cut herself on anything or opened another wound.

Her head refused to move, her limbs were sluggish and couldn’t do more than twitch where they now lay. God, if this is what turning felt like, she’d rather have the quick and easy shot to the head. It was a hell of a lot more merciful than this.  

Never did think she’d have an understanding with Abel of all people, but here we were.

She kind of wanted to give up right there, if she was being honest. To lay limply on the floor and die a truly pitiful death. To go out not with a roaring bang, but a sad, drawn-out whimper.

Unfortunately, for herself and everyone else, she’d already used her one chance at giving up, and it didn't kill her. So, it looked like she wasted that opportunity, and she had nowhere else to go but up.

Or away, even. She definitely wasn’t going to be standing up in this state. 

Her throat was dry, nothing more than a wheeze escaping her. She twitched her limbs, jolting and wincing with the movement. She tried wiggling her fingers, finding even that was a struggle. Her eyelids still felt like boulders had been glued to them, and she fought the darkness growing at the edge of her vision.

She was still alive. She was still alive, and it was going to fucking matter.

She twitched again, eyes rolling in her head painfully, which, tragically, caused her to shut them on impulse, trying to chase off the feeling. Which was a mistake, because it meant she was teetering on the edge of consciousness now, and no matter how hard she tried, her eyes wouldn’t open again.

If she strained her ears through the static in her mind, she swore she heard the sound of a handle clicking and a creaky door swinging on its hinges.

And consciousness promptly slipped right through her fingers.

The second time Clementine woke up, she was still staring at that moldy ceiling.

Either some primordial being was messing with her, or she wasn’t understanding something, because she had a feeling that's not what death looked like.

Her body still felt weighed down, still like it was crawling and on fire. But the fire part was centralized now, instead entirely over her bitten leg.

Hell. That’s what this was. This was hell.

There was barely any light in the room this time. Once again, either it’d been a day, or longer than that. There was a tiny flicker of light somewhere, but the rest of the room was dark.

Nighttime, then.

She slowly turned her head to the side, and pretty quickly realized she probably shouldn’t do more than that. Hurt like a bitch. But, it was more of an effort to move her head back, so she just scrunched her eyes shut for a moment, tensed in her painful state.

Even still, she cracked open her eyes again, and had she the strength to do as such, she would’ve jumped when she saw there was something next to her.

A single candle stood on the desk by the window, barely any wax remaining, close to blowing out. Next to it was a chair, facing the bed. Within that chair sat a person, slouched over to the side, passed out.

Within that chair lay AJ.

Immediately, Clementine tried to reach out a hand for him. She decided against it halfway through, because Christ was that difficult, and it’s not like she’d be able to reach him, anyway.

She almost called out to him instead. But her throat was still scratchy, and a small part of her said that was a bad idea. God, please, it begged, let him rest. He needs it.

Her eyes flashed over him, frantic and desperate for any sign of injuries. Save for some bandages almost hidden by his sleeves, and a few bruises, there were none. Nothing dangerous. Nothing life-threatening.

He was safe. He was alive.

It was the safest Clementine herself had felt in so long, slumping back down and knowing he was okay. For now, at least. Not always. Never always. But for now, he was. That was enough.

She hoped he wasn’t here because she fell off the bed. He probably was, which sucked, but she did notice a book discarded on the floor, likely when AJ fell asleep. 

She wondered if he’d been reading in whispers, or aloud. He hadn’t really mastered reading in his head yet, but she didn’t really want him to, anyway. Too much for him to learn before he tried being quiet about it.

When the pain and heaviness swept over her again, she didn’t fight it as much. This was alright. This was a peaceful way to go out, should she not wake up again. She knew AJ was okay, and there were people to look after him.

She would’ve smiled, had she the strength for it. Instead, she just let AJ be her last sight for a second time, with far less dire situations surrounding them.

She had to say, she wouldn’t have minded dying like that.

The third time Clementine woke up, it was to the sound of muttering and the feeling of something sliding down her throat.

That was enough to startle her. She jerked, coughing on what she was now sure was water, not some slimy monstrosity as she feared. Hey, muddled brains do that to you sometimes.

Something must’ve been holding her upright, because her head suddenly fell back and landed on the pillow. She sputtered and blinked open sluggish eyes as a muffled voice started up from somewhere, pain shooting down her body again. She was starting to get pretty damn tired of it.

She squinted, mostly because it was the best she could do save for a wince, and realized there was much more light in the room than the last two times she awoke. She saw a blurry figure over her, this time actually flinching away out of instinct, teeth bared and arms twitching like they could defend her.

“—sy there, dear, just me.” The voice slowly faded in, and Clementine peered up to see round a round face, red hair—Ruby. That was Ruby.

“Hm?” Clementine grunted, hoping it was enough.

“Hey, hey there, honey.” Ruby chuckled, a wet, choked sound, and Clementine could now take in the worry and joy across her features. “How are you feelin’?”

“Mmph,” Clementine tried again, trying to process the words in her head. “Like—” She wheezed, the words not as painful as before, considering her throat was feeling a bit better now that it had water, but still certainly not good, “like shit.”

“I imagine.” Ruby breathed, relief washing over her. “God, for a second there...never mind, never mind, think you could drink this for me?” She asked, holding out a canteen of water in her hand, which took about thirty seconds for Clementine to comprehend.

“Probably,” Clementine rasped, trying to shift her arms to try and lean up.

“Just drinking, honey. You don’t have to do anything else.” Ruby stopped her, instead pushing her other hand under Clementine’s upper back, which was an odd feeling, gently easing her upright.

She lifted the canteen to Clementine’s mouth, and God did she miss the absolutely nothing taste that water had. May as well have been the last soda on Earth from how desperately she drank it.

“How long do you think you can stay awake?” Ruby asked, lowering the canteen much too soon, though considering about half of it was already empty, it was probably just Clementine’s weird time perception messing with her.

“How—” She croaked, scrunching her face for a moment before trying again, “how long do…do I need to?”

“That’s not what I asked.” Ruby shook her head, still much too worried for Clementine to be anywhere close to relaxed. “I’d love for you to stay awake for a good while, you’ve got better chances that way, but I’m certainly not forcing it. That might just make it worse.”

“Better?” Clementine distantly echoed, trying very hard to keep both her eyes open to a normal level, even if the left one wanted to hang shut. She was coherent, she was present, she was not going to look like she took a random handful of medications behind a shed.

“Just trying to keep you alive, sweetie.” Ruby soothed, slowly easing her back, shifting her a tiny bit so her head was leaning against the headboard a tad. “Considering you're awake enough to talk, though, I think we’re getting there.” She said, even if her smile was tense, and her voice was strained.

“Still here.” Clementine rasped, jerking her head a bit to try and shake off whatever was trying to force her unconscious again. “Fuckin’...bug that doesn’t die.”

“Cockroach?” Ruby raised a bow.

“That.” Clementine agreed, wanting to nod her head, but finding when she did, she pitched a bit to the side, and Ruby frantically abandoned the canteen (closed, thankfully) on the bed to grab her arm and keep her semi-upright.

“Easy there, girl.” Ruby said, holding a bit too tight, easing her back to her original position, though her hands remained. “You’re in no shape to be doing any movement.”

“M’fine,” Clementine insisted, her own words sounding distant, staring at Ruby’s arms instead of her face, because it kind of hurt to move her eyes or head up in any way, “alive.”

“Yeah, and we’re keeping you alive, alright?” Ruby said stiffly, tightening her hold and sounding much too like a warning.

“Yes, ma’am.” Clementine mumbled, which probably came out more like “es m’m.”

“Maybe you should sleep.” Ruby relented, even if she sounded reluctant, arms laying across Clementine to ease her down to her back. “You gotta do a lot of resting to get where we want you to be.”

“AJ,” Clementine said quickly, because she knew she was going to pass out as soon as her head hit that pillow, “he—where—?”

“He’s fine.” Ruby assured with a small, easier smile. “Kid saved your life. You oughta be damn proud of him.”

“Am.” Clementine insisted.

“Yeah, realized as soon as I said it.” Ruby chuckled, being far more careful than Clementine had ever seen her as she lay her back down. “God, we were scared we lost four people when you lot ran off.” She mumbled, leaning further down the bed.

Clementine ran back her memory, slow as it was. She froze up, eyes widening (well, one mostly widened, the other only made it halfway), a name on the tip of her tongue before Ruby leaned back and caught her expression, raising a hand to hush her.

“Violet’s okay, too.” She said, a smile far too teasing, if you ask Clementine, but she let the knowledge ease her. “Every—well, we got…those four people back.” Ruby corrected hastily, apparently having part of an old blanket in her other hand, draping it over Clementine’s frame, exposing her legs entirely. “That…that’s more than we were hoping for.”

“Sorry,” Clementine croaked, squeezing her eyes shut, “sorry.”

“Not your fault, sweetheart.” Ruby said, laying a hand over her shoulder. “It’s not.”

Clementine didn’t answer that. Partially because she wasn’t sure what she could say, partially because it felt like too much of an effort to try. Ruby said something else, but it came out a jumbled mess in her ears, and she could only hum to know she’d heard, well, something.

The pressure increased on her shoulder, if only just. Clementine tilted her head towards it, another apology nearing for not staying awake as long as they would’ve liked.

Alas, she was out cold before she could try.

Chapter Text

The fourth time Clementine woke up, she knew it was close to dusk.

She knew this, because for the first few minutes, she just stared up at the light dancing across the ceiling, and she noticed that it was getting a little darker. Another day, or the same day, she still didn’t know. She still hated it.

Eventually, though, she let her eyes roam further. She couldn’t see much, but she managed to push her head enough to get it to flop over to the side, allowing her to look for anything next to the bed.

And, down there, on the floor, lay a familiar brown lump.

“Rosie?” She tried, still difficult, but not as bad as earlier.

Either she wasn’t asleep like she thought, or her ears were ridiculously good, because Rosie was up like a shot and whirling her head around, stubby tail already wagging.

“Hey,” She croaked, “hey, girl.”

Rosie practically vibrated from how excited she was, barking (which grated on Clementine’s newly-sensitive ears) and placing her paws on the edge of the bed, immediately shoving her face in Clementine’s.

She sputtered, trying to lean away from the onslaught of licking. Still hurt like hell, but it was a definite improvement from the first time she woke up. She managed to actually move her hand a bit this time, lightly batting at Rosie.

That did actually get her to stop, if only just, and move her head back. Her paws remained, tail wagging so hard her entire lower half was moving with it. It looked grossly unstable, but she didn’t seem to care.

“Missed you, too.” Clementine managed a small smile, easing her hand along until she could reach Rosie’s paw, brushing her fingers through the short fur. “Is Ruby here?”

Rosie just chuffed gleefully, tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“Uh,” Clementine thought for a second, “go…get Ruby? Marlon teach you that?” She mumbled, tapping at her paw. “Go, er…get Louis?”

Rosie tilted her head at her for a second, then gruffed, a little more displeased, dropping down from the bed. Clementine watched curiously as the dog looked back at her twice before trotting off towards the door, which she now noticed lay ajar, nosing it open more.

Clementine heard the pitter-patter of paws on the hard as she scurried out and into the hallway. She kept her eyes on the door until she couldn’t hear pawsteps anymore.

Welp. Guess all she could do was hope.

It was a bit easier to keep her eyes open this time around, even if it was still exhausting. At the very least, it had to have been a few days since she was first dragged back here. She hoped it wasn’t too long, lord knows how much work everyone had to be doing to recover from that catastrophe.

Well, no, they got almost everyone back. So it…well, it could’ve gone worse. Certainly a much better alternative to how groups had worked out in the past. 

Her leg still hurt like hell, with pins and needles and prickling fire, all that fun stuff. But everything else just ached, so it was…a little better to deal with.

Truthfully, the second-worst feeling was the anxiety thrumming throughout every ounce of her, for a number of different reasons. Take a wild guess what the first-worst was.

Then, there was a bark.

Clementine focused all her attention on any noise outside the room. Internal conflicts be damned.

A moment later she heard a much closer, slightly louder, bark. With it, she caught the thumping of worn boots.

“Easy, girl, easy, I’m coming, I’m coming—”

“Ruby, is she—?”

There were two voices. Clementine forewent succumbing to the agony of movement and managed a tiny, barely half-an-inch lean upwards, as if that would help her listen any better.

“I’m sure she’s fine—”

“But Rosie—”

“Rosie gets excited about a lot of things, kid.”

“But she was with Clem—”

“AJ?” Clementine mumbled, much too quiet for anyone to hear. Another bark.

Rosie’s head shoved in through the doorway again, panting happily at her good work. She trotted back into the room, much prettier than she had left it, and Clementine would have snickered at it if she didn’t see the familiar face poking in through the doorway behind her.

“Oh, thank Christ,” Ruby sighed, turning around and trying to step into the room while she held the door handle like she was keeping something out, “kid, wait here, I just need to—”

“Is she okay? Let me see!”

“She’s fine, I just need to double-check, is all—”

“AJ?” Clementine called again, forcing herself to be louder, though the hint of desperation in her tone wasn’t purposeful.

“Clem?”

Ruby was nearly bowled over (which was an impressive feat) by the tiny body shoving right past her, wide eyes alight and hair tangled every which way and—

“Hi,” Clementine exhaled heavily, smiling, “hi there, goofball.”

“Clem!” AJ exclaimed, Ruby cursing something akin to “for God’s sake, kid” being drowned out by his shouting as he evaded her, rushing in like a speeding bullet.

He crashed right into Clementine’s chest before she could blink, which hurt like a bitch. She tried to smother herself to a grunt, but it most definitely came out as a low yelp when AJ grabbed her, shoving her down with the force of his odd sideways tackle.

“Kid, she’s still healing!” Ruby chastised, AJ immediately letting go and jumping back from Clementine like he’d been burned, hands out at his sides and eyes big. She decided it was a much worse feeling, seeing him like that, than whatever injuries he’d accidentally prodded at.

“S’fine, fine,” Clementine insisted, somewhat waving her hand to gesture AJ back to her, grinning in a way she imagined was much like a crazy person, “fine, it’s fine, c’mere, hey, come—”

AJ was back in an instant, though he stopped with his hands gripping the edge of her bed, poised and, like Rosie, nearly vibrating with how badly he clearly wanted to hug her. Clementine smiled wider, if that was possible, managing to snag the hem of his shirt and pull him closer, somewhat getting an arm around him and shoving her face into his collarbone.

“Hey,” She breathed shakily, which she hoped was smothered by his shirt, “hey, AJ.”

“You’re awake,” AJ said, voice sounding really close to breaking, gingerly wrapping his arms around her in return.

“Yeah, yeah, I am.” Clementine agreed, wishing she could hold him tighter, but alas, her body was a weak traitor. 

“Very touching, I’ll happily let you get back to it in a moment,” She heard Ruby say, forced to look up at her as AJ was shifted to the side, the medic much more gentle as she hovered a hand just away from touching her, “how are you, Clem?”

“Better,” She hummed, eager to get back to smothering AJ so tight he’d never leave again, “fine.”

“No, you are not.” Ruby scoffed, waving at AJ until he reluctantly let one arm fall away, but he still kept another over her back. “Have you been awake long?”

“Eh,” Clementine tried a shrug, which was kinda hard when it was an effort to do so, especially with AJ still trying to cling, “kinda. How are you?” She asked, turning her head right back to AJ.

“Clem,” AJ said, grabbing her tighter and giving her an honestly hilarious trying-to-be-serious-and-not-cry expression, “I’m not bitten. Wasn’t bitten.” He corrected quickly.

“Oh, good.” Clementine tried a teasing look, but it probably came off woozier. On AJ’s next still-funny serious expression, she backtracked. “Was a reasonable question,” She defended meekly, “death was…was still there. Er…” She stared off for a second. “On…on the table.”

“She’s still pretty out of it, squirt.” Ruby sighed, laying a hand over AJ’s shoulder.

“M’better.” Clementine protested, even if it came out as a mumble, and her eyes felt like they wanted to roll around like beads in her head.

“But we still gotta get the others!” AJ insisted, letting Clementine drop her head a bit so her forehead was on his shoulder. Her neck didn’t feel like it could support her head for much longer. “They—you said we’d get them if she woke up, cause we didn’t know when she would—”

“She’s tired, AJ.” Ruby hushed, and Clementine felt a light weight on her side, likely Ruby’s hand. “Let’s give her some rest, she’s had a long few days.”

“But she—“

“Still here.” Clementine assured, attempting to squeeze AJ’s side. “Still here.”

“And she’s staying.” Ruby added, though it sounded a lot…duller. “We’ll get the others when she can be awake for at least half an hour, yeah?”

“Too long.” Clementine complained, more of a mutter.

“I’m not apologizing for prioritizing your safety.” Ruby deadpanned. “God knows you won’t.”

“She piotises plenty!” AJ puffed.

“Pri—“ Clementine started, tongue heavy, even through her smile, “priorsizing. No, prioro—“

“Prioritizing.” Ruby corrected for both of them with poorly hidden amusement. “Like I said; tired.”

“But Clem’s always good at correcting words.” AJ worried, hand coming up near the back of her neck and holding. She knew he stayed just short of touching it out of an old habit, and she knew it was something he picked up on without needing to be taught.

“Hard to be right about everything when you can’t keep your own head up.” Ruby said, amusement less sincere, the hand on Clementine’s side moving up higher to push her flat down. “She’ll be back with us eventually, kid. Amputating ain’t no joke; it takes out a hell of a lot more than a bullet.”

AJ went quiet, though he clung tighter. Clementine was, for once, grateful for how weak she was, or she’d squeeze him back even tighter.

On every level, she knew it had to be gone. There’s no other way she’d be alive if she still had her leg. And the horrible pain in said leg was more than enough to confirm it.

Still, it’s one thing to know it in your own head, and another to hear it.

She would not cry here, goddamn it. Not for something she already knew.

“You did a good thing.” She heard Ruby murmur, nearly silent, but it might’ve also been her waning wakefulness. “I promise you, you did.”

“Doesn’t look very good.” She heard, even quieter.

You did, you did. I’m proud of you, you did good.

Is what she wanted to say, at least. Even if she could’ve gotten only half of it out, she would’ve taken it. But she couldn’t open her eyes if she tried, and her arms were loosely hanging rather than trying to squeeze, and each exhale felt like she was drifting further away.

“Clem?”

Her head rolled, either by trying to move it on her own or due to her body laxing completely, she wasn’t sure. But she knew she heard a soft voice, and her head was moving, and then she was out.

The fifth time Clementine woke up, it was to a stabbing pain in her leg.

She hissed, jolting what she could of her leg away from the pain, tensing up and a curse or two slipping from her tongue before she could think about what they were.

“Crap—sorry, sorry Clem—”

Clementine gritted out something that might’ve been an “all good” or a strangled garble. Either way, she managed to hunch her frame a bit, drawing her legs up closer and scrunch her face, jaw clenching.

There were hands at her shoulders again, feeling around with murmured apologies. Clementine wasn’t really sure if she could manage to say “don’t do that” when they made the ants crawling along her skin feel worse, so she settled for grunting and nipping her teeth out at where the hands were coming from.

“Jesus!” Ruby yelped, immediately letting go. “Christ, no wonder AJ bites so much, you fuckin’ taught him.”

“Ow,” She whined, one eye cracking open.

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Ruby muttered unsympathetically, standing next to the bed, one hand on her hip. “It’s gonna hurt, I’m afraid, but I gotta change your bandages.”

“Do it when m’unconscious.” Clementine mumbled, shutting her eye again.

“Well I was.” Ruby scoffed. “And now I’m in the middle of it, so I can’t exactly wait. Lord knows we don’t need another chance at that infection getting worse.”

“Infection?” Clementine opened both eyes now.

“You took a rusty axe to the leg.” Ruby raised an unamused brow. “Plus a bite before that.”

“That part’s gone?” Clementine tried.

“You still have zombie bits in your blood, I imagine.” Ruby said, moving a little further down the bed again to snag Clementine’s foot, the one that was there, and tugging on it. “You’ve gotten a little better, if that helps.”

“Nice,” Clementine wheezed, slowly stretching her good leg back out again, though she felt if she moved the other one she might die on the spot. Ruby seemed to get the message, rolling her eyes a bit as she grabbed what looked to be gauze off the end of the bed she’d left earlier.

“Wouldn’t celebrate just yet.” Ruby warned, bracing one arm on Clementine’s good knee. “We’re well away from being in the clear.”

“How is it?” Clementine rasped, attempting to crane her head.

“Ugly,” Ruby said bluntly, “but I’d be surprised if it wasn’t, ain’t no way you were getting a clean break.” She said, noticing the lean and moving her hand to push against her stomach. “You gotta stay down, love.”

“Wanna see.” Clementine protested, trying to push against it.

Ruby paused. Something flickered in her eyes, and her mouth thinned. Clementine had her best determined face all ready in case Ruby looked, but she didn’t. She just nodded, setting the gauzes aside so both her hands were free.

“Alright,” Ruby sighed, surprising Clementine as she moved to wiggle an arm under her back, “but I wasn’t bein’ dramatic when I said it was ugly.”

“Used to ugly things.” Clementine assured, even as her hands shook when she tried to help Ruby out by pushing herself more upright.

“On yourself?” Ruby asked, even if conversationally, bracing a hand behind her as she helped Clementine scoot back, leaning a bit straighter.

“Dog bite.” Clementine gritted out. “Guts.”

“I think this is a little different.” Ruby tried to warn, though she didn’t stop Clementine when she leaned forward a bit, eyes darting wildly to find—ah.

Not sure what she expected, but there it was. A whole lot of nothing. It stopped a bit after her knee, nothing but a gnarled lump remaining.

It still had a few bandages around it, but they were bloody and mangled to all hell. What she could see beyond them was a mass of dark red all twisted together, swollen and red and what looked like clumps of pus and growing abscesses. Some looked pretty damn close to popping.

Looking at the disfigured mess, she could also now see that her shifting had left a small trail of blood on the bed. From a quick glance, she could tell there were more dried stains from days before.

If she looked closely, she could see something jagged and hardened nestled right between the bloody mess, nearly covered by the gore. She promptly squeezed her eyes shut and thunked her back against the headboard, exhaling sharply.

Bone. Bone, that was bone. Okay, okay. That was—fine. Fine. This was fine.

“Told ya.” Ruby murmured, a heavy weight on her shoulder. “Don’t faint on me.”

“Tougher than that.” Clementine gasped out, which sucked, because she wasn’t even dying. Anymore.

“Best not say that in front of the others.” Ruby tried, rubbing a soothing hand over her shoulder. “Cause Aasim did when he came in and saw the state of ya.”

Clementine snorted at that, a wet sound, which was a bit pathetic, squinting her eyes up at the moldy ceiling. As if that would distract from the throbbing in what should’ve been her foot. 

She could picture it now. Ruby changing her bandages, Aasim coming in either to check in or just to talk to her. He happens to open the door when the bandages are off and gets a good look at the horrific mass of peeling skin, frayed nerves, and other carnage. She could see him passing out right in the damn hallway, and she didn’t blame him.

“Hey, hey, you’re gonna be alright, sweetie.” Ruby hushed, brushing a finger by her face, and Clementine startled when she realized her eyes were wet, and she hastily blinked to try and stave them off.

Which unfortunately had the opposite effect, thick tears sliding down her cheeks, and she figured at that point it was a lost cause.

“Damnit,” She muttered, very eloquently.

“You deserve a good few tears.” Ruby assured, easily dabbing at the corners of her eyes with her finger. “Hell, you deserve something louder than that.”

“Done with that.” Clementine insisted, rolling her head to the side to look right at the wall. “Cried plenty.”

“And you’ll cry more.” Ruby said simply, as though it were a simple fact of life, lowering her hand down to her upper arm. “Ain’t no one judging you for that, Christ’s sake, you shoulda seen how awful we were all week.”

“Week?” Clementine fixated on, rather than literally anything else, glancing back. 

“Ah, yeah, been ‘bout a week.” Ruby nodded, mercifully allowing the change. “Nine days, though I’m sure it’ll be ten by the time you wake up again.”

“Fuck,” Clementine swallowed, hands twitching.

“You first woke up on the seventh day.” Ruby added, moving away and picking up the bandages again. 

“Didn’t,” She croaked, staring at the wall even harder when she realized Ruby was moving back to her leg, “woke up n’ fell off.”

“We were wonderin’ how you managed that.” Ruby huffed, sounding annoyed as she placed a hand on Clementine’s bad knee. “Alright, you were first up on the second, then. Which is a hell of a lot sooner than you should’ve been awake, if you ask me.”

“Didn’t choose.” Clementine said, tangling her fingers into the sheets.

“Breathe out,” Ruby instructed, and Clementine somehow managed it, albeit shakily, and felt a spike of pain halfway through it.

Clementine clamped her mouth shut, squinching her eyes as she gripped the sheets. Ruby murmured apologies as she unwrapped the rest of the gauzes, peeling them away from the wound. Really, the first few seconds were the worst, since Ruby focused on getting the old gauzes out of the wound first, and after that it was mildly better. Like pressing burning iron to skin for ten seconds instead of twenty.

“You have been doing better, though.” Ruby added, though Clementine figured she wasn’t expecting a response. “This is actually the second time you woke up in twenty-four-hours.”

“Mmph?” Clementine gritted out.

“It’s a bit before midnight right now.” Ruby continued. “You last woke up a little after noon. Do you remember?”

Clementine grunted again. The pain was better now, and she could feel most of the gauzes were off. She, however, didn’t trust how painful it would be for them to be re-applied.

“Wasn’t sure if you were coherent enough to remember when you woke up.” Ruby admitted. “I think you woke up a few times after AJ first brought you back and we were, y’know, losing our minds. But I figured you wouldn't remember those. Do you?”

She didn’t. Which was unnerving enough on its own, but especially with context. Christ, she can only imagine how terrifying it had to have been to see it. Awake enough to tell they’re conscious, but not present enough to do anything other than make you aware that they were alive and in agony.

If they didn’t assume she’d turned just by looking at her.

But then Ruby started tightly wrapping bandages back around her stump, and Clementine kicked out her leg on instinct. Which made the pain worse, obviously, and she thunked her head so hard back that it rang around painfully in her skull.

“For God’s sake,” Ruby muttered, grabbing her thigh and shoving it further down on the bed, “Clem, honey, I’d love it if you were knocked out right now, I would, but I can’t risk this infection getting worse, I gotta patch ya up.”

“I’m trying.” Clementine muttered, turning her head up towards the ceiling. “Fuckin’ hurts.”

“I’m sure it does, but you still gotta stay still.” Ruby persisted. “I don’t wanna sit on you, but if it’ll hold you down, I will.”

Clementine grumbled, resounding to be as frozen as her shaking body would allow. Ruby resumed bandaging her leg, and she kept her leg straight out to try and minimize her kicking to weak twitches.

“Tight,” Clementine wheezed.

“Yeah, that’s to stop the bleedin’.” Ruby snorted. “It’s gotta be tight. So long you ain’t feeling like you’re losing circulation, it’ll be fine.”

Clementine disagreed, but her medical history ranged from “poking the back of your throat to throw up anything you shouldn’t have eaten” to “stitching your own arm in a shed and somehow not getting infected”, of which she suspected Ruby wouldn’t think was acceptable knowledge. Functional, yes, but not acceptable when compared to hers.

The next eternity passed by in relative silence, save for Clementine biting back growls at the pain and Ruby’s mutterings that she was almost done, just hang on a moment longer. Honestly, Clementine was grateful for it; she might’ve started screaming if Ruby kept talking like it was an average day, even if she didn’t want a response.

Ruby gave one last tug, and the throb that went through it jolted Clementine enough into realizing her mind was going all fuzzy again. Lovely.

“You still with me?” She heard distantly.

“Present,” She said, sounding foggy in her own head.

“You’re leaving, alright.” Ruby said without missing a beat, leaning up closer. “I’ve got your leg patched, though.”

“Nice timing.” Clementine hummed, eyes open halfway.

“Yeah, I know, don’t it always work out like that?” Ruby chuffed, patting her arm. “If you remember, let me know if you wanna try eating actual food. All we’ve been getting in you lately has been soup, and you're already lookin’ too skinny.”

“Yeah,” Clementine echoed, “lost lotta weight. Wonder why.”

“Too soon, Clem.” Ruby scolded, though she could hear a smile in it, the room blurring together. “At least wait till you’ve got this infection down.”

Clementine thought she responded to that. Something akin to you would, too or well, it’s true, she imagined.

But she didn’t really have time to dwell on it. Because even if she was tired of sleeping, sleep sure wasn’t tired of her.

The sixth time Clementine woke up, it was to the sound of voices. Arguing.

“For fucks sake, what good is it going to do to let him think everything is fine—?”

“Well, for one thing, he doesn’t think that. For another, how the hell could I tell him how nasty this thing is? You didn’t see him when he talked to Clem. Christ, he looked—”

“I can imagine it fine enough. You think it’s gonna be bad telling him now? You think telling him when we know it’s too late is gonna be any better?”

“She could be fine, it might not get that bad. Lord knows he doesn’t need to worry about anything else—”

“If it was unexpected, you wouldn’t have brought it up in the first place! I know how you work, Ruby, you don’t even think about mentioning this shit unless it’s pretty damn likely!”

“But it still might not.”

Clementine peeked open her eyes. There was daylight streaming in through the boarded window, bright and far too cheery. At least a day, then. Or a few hours.

It took a moment for the figures standing at the other end of the room, to the far left of the door, to stop looking so blurry. She recognized Ruby instantly. She’d seen her all blurry enough times to know it was her even if she could only see blobs of color. The other—

“That ‘might’ is pretty damn low!” Violet snapped, expression still a bit fuzzy, but the fury was obvious enough, and she was barely a decibel away from shouting. “Fuck, she’s woken up, what, twice in almost two weeks?”

“Three.”

“That’s barely better!” Violet damn-near barked. 

“I am doing what I can—”

“I know you are!” Violet lowered her voice only a moment after it got too high, mouth clicking shut and inhaling deeply, taking a small step back, hands raised. Clementine was a bit busy fighting against every single muscle in her body to wake up faster to focus on it . “I’m not upset at you for doing your best, Ruby.” Violet said, quieter, though still incredibly stressed. “Christ, I’d be a dickhead if I was. But if there is this bad of a risk, then either we need to warn them, or we need to go out—”

“You don’t want to go out any more than the rest of us.” Ruby said quickly, frowning.

“I’d do it if she stays alive!” Violet snapped right back, the composure gone just as quickly. “Fuck, look at her! We can’t—we only just—” She started, voice cracking through it.

“Violet, I know, I’m—” Ruby paused, looking over only a few moments after Violet, rhetorically, if Clementine betted, told her to. She had a good few seconds of pause when she saw Clementine staring back at her, both wearing equally spooked expressions.

Though, to her credit, Ruby recovered much quicker. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

“What?” Violet whirled her head around immediately, anger dissipating into fear faster than Clementine had ever seen. “What, did she—?”

Violet stared. Clementine quirked up the right side of her mouth when she recovered, which probably looked more weird than charming.

“‘Sup,” She tried anyway, however weak it was.

“Holy shit.” Violet said first.

And then she was right there.

Clementine blinked up, only just processing that Violet was standing over her when she was already leaning down and grabbing her head in her hands, harsher than needed, but she wouldn’t complain, faces mere centimeters away from touching.

She noticed a slight texture difference. Violet had some thin, old cloth wrapped around her left hand, though it looked like it wasn’t really needed.

“Jesus Christ,” Violet breathed, a soft smile forming, which were the kind of smiles Clementine treasured a whole fuckin’ lot, eyes flickering over her, “holy shit—you—you’re awake!”

“Yup,” Clementine snickered, “hi there.”

“Don’t laugh, you ass.” Violet scoffed, absolutely zero bite behind it as she leaned her head back a little, offering breathing room that Clementine, personally, didn’t really want. “This is a horrible time to laugh.”

“I think it s’alright.” Clementine hummed, twitching her arm until it decided to listen, managing to loosely hook three of her fingers over Violet’s arm. “Missed you.”

“Yeah, I sure fuckin’ hope you did.” Violet muttered, still no bite behind it, shifting down so she was on her knees rather than awkwardly bent over, though she stayed holding Clementine’s face. “Better have been miserable.”

“Awful.” Clementine agreed, still grinning. “Terrible. Never again.”

“Good. Keep it that way.” Violet huffed, though it didn’t hide her shaking hands, what with them pressed right into Clementine’s skin.

“How are ya, Clem?” Ruby asked, hovering a good few paces away.

“Thirsty,” Clementine hummed, tilting her head to the side to press in more to Violet’s hands, “water.”

“Oh, shit, yeah, yeah.” Violet started to stand, but Ruby already had a hand up to stop her, moving to the door.

“I got it,” Ruby said gently, smiling, even if it was clearly forced, “you catch up with your girl.”

“I think it’d be the other way around.” Violet said, and Clementine attempted to squeeze her arm when she heard how tight it came out.

“Then catch her up.” Ruby rolled her eyes, easing the door open and slipping out, taking care to shut it with a soft click behind her.

A moment of silence.

“S’been two weeks?” Clementine eventually mumbled. 

Violet winced. “You heard that?”

“I’m right here.” Clementine said by way of an answer. “Hard not to.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve also been ‘right here’ for a lot of other conversations.” Violet said, hesitating for a moment before leaning forward to very lightly knock their foreheads together. “And you didn’t wake up for those.”

“Apologies,” Clementine rasped, “I’ll remember to wake up more.”

“Don’t joke.” Violet sighed, not as annoyed as she probably wanted it to be, fingers tangling in Clementine’s hair, if only just. “Sorry about being depressing next to you.”

“Aren’t we all?” She tried, coughing halfway through it, startling Violet into releasing her face, instead frantically fluttering her hands around her shoulders and arms in case she needed to keep her upright.

“Christ, should you be talking?” Violet stressed, eyes wild.

“Talked before.” Clementine gritted out, leaning forward a bit more so she was resting on her arms, head hanging slightly. “S’fine.”

“No, it is not.” Violet said firmly, hand ghosting her face again until she managed to tilt it up by the chin. “Shit, Clem, you—” She inhaled shakily, shut her eyes, exhaled, and opened them again. “You’re on a twenty-four-hour watch for a reason, y’know?”

“Round the clock?” Clementine hummed, mildly surprised. “M’not that bad, am I?”

“Look me in the eyes.” Violet deadpanned. “Say that again.”

“Could be worse.” Clementine muttered, pointedly looking away.

“Yeah, you could be six feet under, that’s worse.” Violet stressed, moving her head to the side so she was forced to look at her again. “You could still be six feet under, so for the love of God, yes, you are that bad.”

“Still?” Clementine scoffed, though she did try to press herself forward more, and was rewarded with a forehead meeting her halfway again. “Not conking out yet.”

“We are far from being out of the woods.” Violet insisted, eyes still darting like she was scared she’d miss something. “Don’t you even—” She paused. 

She stared for a moment. Clementine raised a brow, and was certainly surprised when Violet quickly leaned back and stared with wide eyes. 

“Ruby didn’t tell you.” She whispered.

“Eh?” Clementine squinted.

“I’m going to fucking kill her.” Violet said, just as quietly, though she looked nothing short of furious for a good few solid seconds before she was leaning close again, head just above Clementine’s, one hand loosely around the back of her neck while the other cupped the side of her face, keeping it up. “Clem, did Ruby tell you anything about infections?”

“Legs infected, isn’t it?” Clementine frowned, blaming her nerves on why the contact by her neck didn’t make her twitch.

“Did she say anything else?” Violet clarified, searching.

“It’s…not worse?” Clementine tried.

“Fucking hell.” Violet cursed, head leaned back so she was looking up at the ceiling for a moment before coming right back. “Clem, we’re running out of bandages.”

“...oh, damn.” Clementine furrowed her brows, squinting off at the ground. “Okay, that—I can…there are…” quick hesitation, “options. Send…search parties—”

“We have.” Violet cut-in. “We’re looking everywhere. And before you say it; we might not be able to use shit like, I dunno, old shirts for your leg.” She added, tilting her head slightly down towards the appendage in question. “Can’t exactly clean those the best, and we ran out of rubbing alcohol three days after we got you back.”

“Okay?” Clementine blinked.

“Let me lay this out.” Violet said, tapping her thumb over Clementine’s scar on her cheek. “You got bit by a walker. You probably still have a bit of that in your bloodstream, according to Ruby. You got your leg cut off with an old-as-balls axe, and, for extra disgusting measure, you were shoved into a wagon and pushed through an entire forest—”

“A wagon—?”

“—and we don’t have the proper materials to entirely clean your leg.” Violet continued over her. “Obviously, it gets infected. It’s been infected for nearly two weeks, and it’s getting a little better, but not fast enough. When we run out of clean bandages, your infection will definitely flare up, and your chances significantly decrease. Are we understanding this?”

Clementine stared at her for a few moments. She whirled the words around in her head for a few more, processing. Which she probably didn’t, not fully, at least, but in general, she understood what the words themselves meant.

“Ah,” She eventually said, “so, gonna get worse.”

“Most likely, yes.” Violet strained, holding tighter than necessary. “Unless the infection somehow quickly clears up, which still doesn’t eliminate the chance that it could come back.”

“Don’t bandage?” She tried weakly.

“You will bleed out, Clem.”

“Meant eventually.” Clementine insisted, waving a hand a bit. “Heal over enough eventually.”

“We’ve got another two weeks, at least, to get through first.” Violet stressed, one hand drifting a little lower, over Clementine’s jawline. “All we can do is wait it out and see what happens, so I don’t—” She leaned back a little glaring at nothing and curing a lip, “there’s nothing even to do.”

“Then wait.” Clementine said, even if she hated the idea almost as much as Violet did.

“I’m kinda tired of waiting, if you haven’t guessed.” Violet grumbled.

“Same,” Clementine sighed, letting Violet’s hands hold up her head more than her own neck, “m’sure I’ll have a plan. Eventually.” 

“Do not.” Violet narrowed her eyes. “I don’t wanna hear a peep about you trying to do co-leader shit until we’re a hundred percent sure you’re not leaving us.”

“Haven’t yet,” She reminded.

“Have you ever seen a real nasty infection before?” Violet raised an unamused brow. “Lots of the kids did in the beginning. Practically half the school. Ruby was still figuring out how to be a medic.”

“Seen infections.” Clementine protested, because she had. She’d seen awful ones before. Plenty on recently-dead bodies.

“Then you know this isn’t a cold to get over.” Violet pressed.

“M’fine,” Clementine mumbled, eyes half-lidded, “strong immune system.”

“You’re too loopy for this.” Violet sighed, not a single hint of annoyance in it.

Knock, knock.

Violet moved her head much faster than Clementine was able to get her sluggish muscles working, turning towards the door being slightly pushed open.

“Am I interrupting?” Ruby inquired softly.

“You didn’t even fuckin’ tell Clementine about the bandage situation?” Violet hissed with zero preamble. Figures.

Ruby winced, shoulders hunching a bit. Clementine did her best to tap at Violet’s wrist to keep her there as Ruby slinked in, canteen in hand.

“I was going to.” Ruby started carefully.

“Oh, were you, now?” Violet glowered. “Was it also when she was beyond helping?”

“Of course I wouldn’t have, God’s sake, she deserves to know the most.” Ruby huffed warningly, moving to sit on the very end of the bed. 

Violet was quick to pull herself up as well, Clementine complaining in incoherent noises as she moved to sit closer to her head. It put Violet at the very edge, with more weight on her feet keeping her there, really, but it did mean Clementine could rest her head on her lap, which was a score.

“Then why, pray tell, am I the one who had to tell her?” Violet snapped, one arm automatically laying overtop Clementine. It looked and felt uncomfortable.

“Because I hadn’t gotten to it yet.” Ruby gruffed, scooting closer and uncapping the canteen. “Lift her up for me.”

“You have been present each time she woke up!” Violet pointed out, though she did move to help Clementine lean up. Clementine, for her part, was trying to look annoyed at the both of them.

“There was a lot goin’ on!” Ruby shot back, reaching one hand to ghost Clementine’s shoulder as she lifted the canteen. Clementine decided to put off saying I’m right here, guys in favor of drinking. God, her throat hurt from all that talking. “I mean, Christ, Vi, she’d only just seen her leg two days ago.”

Clementine flinched. It was a small movement, one she’s sure Ruby didn’t notice from how she was focusing more on the canteen and glaring at Violet. Violet herself, however, most definitely did. Though the way she went very, very still probably had more to do with whatever was going through her own head than Clementine’s flinch.

“The last time she woke up?” Violet clarified, hoarsely. “That—” She squeezed a little around Clemetine’s sides, and Ruby was gracious enough to remove the canteen. 

“Knew,” Clementine assured, a bit raspy, but she leaned her head back so it knocked against…she thinks below Violet’s sternum? “Well—figured.”

“Jesus Christ, Clem.” Violet breathed, a soft weight on Clementine’s head and somewhat obstructing her vision. She hummed, closing her eyes. It was nice. She wouldn’t mind sleeping here.

“Thought I could at least wait a little before telling her that.” She heard Ruby mutter, the click of the canteen cap being put back on. “Bit too much to throw on a person, y’know?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Violet wheezed like she’d been punched, and probably missed the curt tone she was receiving.

“S’not that bad,” Clementine mumbled, feeling her hand around until she caught Violet’s on her side, sliding her fingers overtop it, even if her head was so hazy she could barely feel it, “missin’ parts, too.”

“A finger,” Violet hissed, twitching a bit when Clementine grazed over the cloth covering where a pinkie once was, “is not a leg.”

“I think she’s slipping out again, Vi.” Ruby murmured, or maybe she spoke it normally and it was Clementine’s brain being all muddled again.

“We can grab the others the next time you get up, alright?” She heard Violet whisper, or maybe it was a hum, but it was clearer, what with her right next to her ear. “We—I’ll sort this, alright? Figure…figure something out.”

It’s alright, she wanted to say, I’ll be okay if you are.

But that was a lousy promise to make to someone. The kind that sounds nice in practice, horrible in execution, because you can’t uphold most promises in a life like this. You often don’t have a choice.

But it might’ve gotten Violet to laugh, just from how sappy it was. She thinks Violet would have forgiven her for saying it, then.

Unconsciousness should’ve come easier when she was here, with Violet holding her and unabashed in being as gentle as she liked. Under normal circumstances, it would have come easy.

The annoying part, though, is that Violet was still shaking, and Clementine might not have noticed the tiny movements if she couldn’t feel them. And she still wanted to actually hold Violet’s hand instead of laying her own overtop it and squeeze harsh enough that they wouldn’t think about anything else. And she still wanted to say I wouldn’t leave any of you and know that it was a promise she’d risk making. 

This time, as her mind fell silent, it felt more like being forcefully dragged below, rather than an inevitable sinking into a pit of tar.

Chapter Text

The seventh time Clementine woke up, she was completely alone.

Daylight. She wasn’t sure if it was late morning, noon, or afternoon, but she knew it wasn’t dawn, and it wasn’t dusk. In the long run, she was grateful for the boards along the windows keeping out threats and harsher winds, but right now? It was horribly annoying.

Her limbs weren’t as heavy, so that was nice. Hard to tell how much of her weariness was from the amputation and how much was from the infection. She figured she’d find out soon enough.

Instead of jumping straight into a this might get worse and we can’t stop it panic, she decided to shove off the blanket at her shoulders, wherein it crumbled over her waist. It didn’t do much for how hot she was, just on the uncomfortable side, but it was bearable.

It was probably nearing a fever. But that was a problem she would not tackle today.

She was a bit surprised nobody was here this time, not even Rosie. Don’t get her wrong, she was just fine without worried eyes constantly boring into her, but considering how everyone had been reacting, she was expecting at least—

Bang!

Ah, never mind.

Clementine raised her head a bit at the sound of a shout and a curse. From the sound of it, either something big just got dropped, or someone ran face-first into a wall. Knowing this place, they were equally plausible.

By the time she’d managed to get one arm underneath her, somewhat propping herself up, she could make out the sound of “goddamnit, she’s going to fucking kill me, Jesus Christ” muffled down the hallway.

She decided to venture a guess.

“Willy?”

It was raspy, and sounded like her throat was drier than a desert, but it wasn’t as pitiful as the last time she tried. So, y’know, could’ve been worse.

A pause.

Apparently, he was a lot closer than she thought, because Clementine was nearly spooked right off the bed when the door suddenly slammed open. It was loud enough she could have mistaken it for a gunshot. To which she hoped nobody else made that mistake.

“Clementine?” Willy gasped, all wide eyes and crazed hair. Which was an average day for him.

“‘Sup,” Clementine greeted with a nod.

“Holy shit, I won!” Willy cheered, pumping a fist in the air and rushing right in. “Omar’s gonna be so pissed.”

“You’re betting already?” Clementine raised a brow, jerking her body a bit when Willy got a little too close to her leg, and, thankfully, he stepped back right after with his hands out apologetically.

“Oh, just on, uh, you.” Willy chuckled sheepishly, though he did look like he might bounce out of his skin. “Well, it was on who would be around when you woke up again.”

“Ruby doesn’t know?” Clementine guessed.

“Or AJ, so, er,” Willy clasped his hands together, “pretty please don’t tell them?”

“We’ll see.” Clementine hummed, already deciding, for their sakes, she wouldn’t. Even if it was a slightly morbid thing to bet on in the first place. “Is Vi in—?”

“Louis let it slip.” Willy said immediately with a dramatic sigh. “You’d think he’d be better at keeping secrets now, but nope! Just fuckin’ told her! But she’s pretending she forgot about it.” He added right after. “So, uh, let’s also not tell her. Again.” 

“Fair,” Clementine rasped, attempting to offer out a hand for…well, any kind of interaction.

Willy took sympathy on her, closing his hand into a fist and bumping her weak knuckles. Better than a handshake.

“Scale of one to ten, how shitty is it?” Willy asked right after, glee never fading, instead leaning closer to the bedside table—

“Water,” Clementine said, very articulately, now noticing the bottle sitting on the table.

“Huh?” Willy turned his head. “Oh, yeah, er,” He picked up the bottle, handing it over.

Clementine wasn’t about to ask him to hold a bottle for her, so she just gritted her teeth and shifted herself back a bit so her head was forcibly held up by the wall, making grabby motions until the bottle was in her hand, and she could tuck it against her arm and her side.

“Seven,” She answered his question anyway, deciding to focus on unscrewing the lid first, actually drinking from it second.

“Is that in Clementine scale, or normal scale?” Willy squinted.

“There’s two?” She muttered, half letting the lid fall to the bed beside her, half losing grip on it completely. 

“Ruby and Violet said you insisted you were fine.” Willy said, giving a wide gesture down her body. “While you are one foot short of a whole person.”

“M’alive,” Clementine huffed, deciding to file away the ‘Clemetine scale’ and ‘normal scale’ for later, managing to get both hands around the bottle. Score.

“I was also alive when the south side of the forest blew up,” Willy said, a bit jittery, “but I was, like, a solid maybe-okay.”

Clementine winced, one moment away from an apology…when she paused. Squinted off at nothing.

“South?” She repeated.

“Oh, yeah, like, a year ago.” Willy nodded, grinning a tad crazily. “Was testing out some grenades, y’know, cause I was a bit bored, and Mitch said he—”

He abruptly clicked his mouth shut.

“Makes sense,” Clementine said anyway, decidedly not looking at whatever expression Willy had as she half leaned down, half brought the bottle up to try and tilt it into her mouth.

It was…messy. Her hands shook, she had to lean even further back, and some still dribbled (read: nearly poured) down her face and shirt.

But she still got water on her own! That is…a win in someone's book, that’s for sure. 

“Are you sure you’re good?” She heard Willy ask.

“Fine,” She wheezed out, abruptly setting the bottle down on her lap before she could drop it completely.

“Yeesh, they weren’t kidding.” Willy muttered, and Clementine startled to see he’d leaned over the bed entirely, head turned to the side and looking her right in the face. “You’re on the Clementine scale.”

Clementine stuck her tongue out at him, turning her head to look for the cap, debating if it was worth letting one hand release the bottle to grab it.

“You on watch?” She asked instead.

“Just for a bit,” Willy said, hesitating for a second before slightly offering his hand forward. Clementine nudged the bottle a bit to let him take it and set it on the table, then the cap. She was both grateful he didn’t ask, and even more pissed off that a kid like Willy had to help her with this, “Ruby’s checking in on Tenn, so I’m mostly just—oh shit!”

Before Clementine could process the whole Tenn thing, Willy was turning and bolting right back out of the door he left wide open. She blinked after him, jerking her head a bit and eyes darting around the room as though Willy wouldn’t charge at any threat head-first instead of booking it.

She’d barely confirmed there probably wasn’t anything in the room before Willy was rushing back in, a large medkit held clumsily in his arms that he immediately dumped on the end of the bed, bouncing a bit with the force.

“Don’t tell Ruby I dropped it.” Willy pleaded, placing a hand overtop the medkit and holding it down as though it might make a break for it.

“That’s what I heard?” Clementine muttered, glancing towards the door again.

“You heard nothing.” Willy said firmly, pushing the medkit a bit up the bed, and from where Clementine’s head was still propped up and leaning against the headboard, she now noticed a blanket was thrown over her from the waist down. “Ruby said to bring the medkit to your room while she finished up with Tenn, then stick around till she came back.” He said, and from how practiced it sounded, Ruby had to have told him at least five times.

And to not touch anything, if Clementine had to guess, but she had more pressing matters.

“Tenn’s okay?” She rasped, and that gave Willy a bit of pause.

“Oh, uh,” He faltered a bit, “well, yeah, no, he’s—yeah, he’s fine.” Willy waved a hand around. “On a scale of ‘guys who ran from the boat as soon as it blew up’ to ‘guy who lost her entire foot,’ he’s a solid…” He paused.

“Guy who got shot at?” Clementine tried.

“He’s nowhere near Violet’s radar, so, basically fine.” Willy settled on. “Ruby’s mostly just doing therapy work, or something.” He scrunched up his face.

“Ah,” Clementine winced. That was a lovely can of worms she didn’t want to open up.

“I know, right? Gross.” Willy snarked. “Speaking of gross, how nasty is that no-longer-existing foot, anyway?”

The moment his hand started reaching for the blanket, Clementine kicked out her good leg. Didn’t really do much, except make her wish she hadn’t, but the sudden movement was enough to startle Willy back.

“No.” She said firmly.

“You’re all lame as hell.” Willy scoffed, though he did retract his hand. “Aasim got to see your leg.”

“Accident,” She reminded, from what little memory she could scrounge up from the conversation.

“Can I at least see it before it’s not bloody anymore?” Willy tried again, undeterred. “It’s not gonna be cool anymore when it’s just a stump.”

Clementine opened her mouth, paused. Hesitated. Rethought back on everything.

We need to warn them.

You didn’t even tell Clementine.

Ah, right. They didn’t know about the infection. It was a when she got better, not an if.

“Sure,” She wheezed out with a forced smile, “morbid brat.” She tacked on right after, just because it got Willy to snicker.

“Hey, Louis is worse.” Willy defended, still smiling. “He’s already joking about all of it. Violet’s doing that thing where she pretends she isn’t amused but she totally is, so jokes on you, we’re all morbid.”

It was true, they were. Clementine wondered how well it would be taken if she started making “well this was a really fuckin’ stupid way to bite the dust” jokes. Probaby poorly.

“Willy?”

Willy turned his head. Clementine raised her own.

There was Ruby, somewhere down the hallway.

“Oh, hey, Ruby—!”

“You better not have touched shit—”

“Clem’s up!”

A pause.

Rapid footsteps on wood, a hand gripping the edge of the doorway, and a head shoved in. Willy proudly stepped to the side, gesturing his hands out to Clementine as though presenting his latest bomb. Clementine rolled amused eyes, offering a tiny wave of her hand.

“Oh, God, what’d he pester you with?” Ruby sighed, stepping in.

“Hey!” Willy bristled.

“Morbid jokes.” Clementine grinned wider at her, slumping a bit.

“Are you changing her bandages?” Willy asked, immediately getting over the insult as he popped up at Ruby’s side. “Can I see? Clem said I could see. You said I could.” He said quickly, turning a reprimanding look Clementne’s way for something she had yet to protest to.

“Absolutely fucking not.” Ruby glared at him. “Clementine is not the medic—”

“My leg.” Clementine added in.

“Yeah, it’s her leg!” Willy agreed with a quick nod. “And she said I could see.”

“She’s loopier than you were after you crushed all those fuckin’ mushrooms and mold on the second floor.” Ruby snarked, Willy cowering a bit. “Seriously, I still don’t understand why you did that.”

“Jackie dared—”

“Jackie huffed glue.” Ruby deadpanned. “Be grateful she didn’t dare you to snort it, too.”

“But it was funny!” Willy protested.

Ruby glared at him silently. Willy slunk back a little, and only then did Ruby turn away and open up the medkit.

“It was kinda funny.” She relented, albeit with a mumble under her breath. Willy had the forethought to silently pump a fist in the air where Ruby couldn’t see.

“Bad idea,” Clementine offered. Not that she’d frequently seen people crush mushrooms (because seriously, who did that?), but she’d seen…other uses for them.

“Like sticking around.” Ruby added with a sharp look Willy’s way. “Ain’t you supposed to be on school patrol with Rosie? Vi only said you could help if you went right back.”

“It’s school patrol.” Willy groaned dramatically. “We have lookouts. If we wanted an actual patrol—”

“Which Omar and Aasim are doing later today.” Ruby cut-in, uncaring as she rolled out a…very small line of gauze, honestly. “Now get out.”

“But Clem said—”

“Sometime later.” Ruby snipped, lip beginning to curl. “But not right now. I got enough work, you hear?”

Willy looked to Clementine, pleading, as though Clementine could say anything that would override Ruby. That is a fight she did not want to try, and in her current state, not one she could win.

She just shrugged apologetically.

“Later.” She repeated instead. She was already getting a bit tired as it was. Willy was about eight levels of energy above her, compared to his usual four. Though that was probably something to do with her rather than him.

“Fi-ine.” Willy drew out the word, throwing his head back. “But it will be later.” He said, pointing a finger at both of them as he backed out towards the door, almost hitting the wall on accident. “It will be. I wanna see how disgusting it is.”

“Aasim could tell ya.” Ruby muttered, not looking back at him.

“Aasim is a fuckin’ wuss and wouldn’t give any details to save his life.” Willy protested, which was fair. “Or maybe he’s just into it a bit, since you deal with it all the—”

“Get out, Willy.”

Willy gave a mock-salute, shot a grin Clementine’s way, and promptly slipped right out the door.

Ruby muttered and began to turn, mouth opening, before Willy reappeared a second later. He gave a sheepish smile before reaching out and pulling the door shut.

Ruby just sighed, shaking her head and returned to unrolling the gauze, appearing to sort through whatever got jolted around in the medkit when Willy dropped it. Clementine figured she’d already guessed he had, but she wasn’t gonna snitch.

“Why…” Ruby started, and Clementine forced herself to focus more because oh boy that sounded like she was in trouble. “Why in God’s name,” Ruby snapped her head up with one hell of a glare, “would you tell him he could see your fucking leg?”

“He asked.” Clementine protested, the sound coming out entangled and causing her to wheeze and hack a bit, shaking her head when Ruby reached out to her.

“Yeah, you want him to fuckin’ have that on his mind if you take a turn for the worst?” Ruby demanded, just lower from a shout, probably in case Willy hadn’t gone too far away yet. “Thinkin’ about the time he saw the thing that killed ya?”

Clementine cringed back, ducking her head and turning it into the side. 

“Point.” She mumbled.

“Look, Clem,” Ruby started, sighed, ran a hand over her face, exhaustion more evident than ever, “Clem, I can’t tell them. I’m sorry, dear, I can’t.” She shook her head, hanging a bit. “Christ, even Willy was radiating excitement when I came in here.” She mumbled, hand partially covering her mouth as she stared off before dropping it, picking up the gauze and moving around the bed. “I realize it ain’t my place to keep somethin’ like this from ‘em,” She said, stopping by the end and hesitantly offering out a hand, “and you can tell ‘em whatever you want. I just…” She deflated more. “If you have a chance, I want them to believe in that chance.”

Clementine understood the sentiment. It wasn’t something like a bite, an inevitability of turning that did nothing but hurt those around you.

It was a probability, but not a promise. And God, would she feel like a massive dick to put them through this much turmoil and death just to leave right when it was over.

“Wait,” Clementine decided, twitching her hand until it could graze Ruby’s fingers, and she lowered her hand further to let Clementine squeeze three of them, “see…how it goes.” She said, giving a shaking, hopeful smile.

Ruby returned it with one of her own.

What a wonderful life they live.

The eighth time Clementine woke up, having evidently fallen asleep sometime when Ruby was with her, it was to the sound of flipping pages.

She cracked open her eyes, already regretting it from the panging of a headache and feeling absolutely frigid.

Light was fading, so it was definitely dusk. She had a blanket pulled all the way up, though, so the cold she felt was even more of a pain in the ass. She decided to instead focus on the quiet mumbles on the other side of the room, turning her head.

“AJ?” Was out of her mouth before she could even fully process it.

AJ sat up like a shot on his bed, the picture book in his hands lowering as he whirled to look over at her, eyes wide. 

“Clem!” AJ exclaimed, haphazardly tossing the book aside and nearly falling flat on his face as he tore off his bed. “You’re up!”

“Hey,” Clementine greeted with a smile of her own, and despite her chills, managed to raise an arm to accept the embrace. It wasn’t as sudden, nor as forceful, as the last. But it did push her back a bit, and she managed weak, nasaled laughs into his shoulder.

“Do you need Ruby?” AJ asked as he pulled back, though he stayed gripping her arm, face all serious and searching. “For, uh, doctor stuff? Oh, do you need soup?” He tried, looking around as though it would appear.

“Fine, m’fine,” Clementine insisted, shaking her head a bit, squinting her eyes a bit at the throbbing in her head. “How’re you?” She asked instead, smile never leaving.

“Not stuck in bed.” AJ grinned, and Clementine gave a weak chuckle.

“Better, then.” Clementine said softly, managing to turn her head to lightly tap her temple to his wrist. “Good.”

“I didn’t even need to be looked over by Ruby!” He added proudly. “Barely a scratch.”

“Good, good, proud of that.” Clementine gave small nods, eyes shutting to stave off her spiking pain.

“You sure you don’t want Ruby?” She heard him ask, tinged with worry.

“Yeah,” Clementine hummed, “tell me…me ‘bout life.” She said, eyes still shut. “How’s it?”

“Oh, uh, we’re doing good.” AJ said, and she could feel him shifting a bit from where they were still clinging to each other's arms. “Tenn’s always in his room, doesn’t really talk, but I check in on him a lot with Ruby and Violet, so he’s okay. Omar found these books in the library about taking with your hands?” AJ sounded like he was frowning. “I don’t get it, but Louis is trying to use it so he doesn’t have to write all the time.”

“How’s he?” Clementine managed to crack open an eye.

“He’s still weird.” AJ said so matter-of-factly Clementine couldn’t help but snort. “Writes a lot of stuff. But he can actually still talk a bit!” He said excitedly, and that had Clementine opening her other eye. “Not, uh, a lot,” AJ backtracked quickly, “he can’t really say a lot of words. But Omar said since he only lost his tongue, he’s still got his voice, and some words don’t need a tongue.”

“Nice,” Clementine tried a smile, even if hearing lost his tongue so blatantly was enough of a sting that she felt it in her chest.

“Yeah, Violet said it’s basically impossible to ever keep Louis quiet, so she’s not surprised.” AJ grinned back. “Violet’s doing good too—but you talked to her already, right?” AJ narrowed his eyes in thought.

“Tell me more.” Clementine insisted, pausing for a second before managing to slowly push herself back, raising her arm more.

AJ took the invitation faster than she expected him to realize it was an invitation at all. He smiled wide and bright, scrambling to crawl onto the bed with her, turning till his back was against her chest and she could lay her tired arm over his side.

“Okay, so, Vi’s been doing a lot.” AJ started right up again, patting until he found Clementine’s hand and held it awkwardly between his own, messing with her fingers. Probably more of an assurance than anything, and Clementne was more than happy to let him have it, sliding her eyes shut. “She’s been going on a lot of patrols, keeps forgetting to re-wrap her hand, checks in on Louis a lot, Ruby says she annoys her with questions, talks to Tenn—wait, did I say that?”

“You did.” Clementine hummed.

“Oh, okay. So Vi’s also been doing all this boring co-leader stuff,” AJ breezed right on through, “and she’ll come back to the room, like, really late at night,” he enunciated the really by drawing out the word for a full five seconds, “or be gone before I’m up, and it was okay, but it was just…” He stopped for a moment.

Clementine gave a small curl of her fingers, a signal she was listening still. Even if his words were all fuzzy.

“The room?” She asked instead, if only to keep him talking.

“Yeah! Yeah,” AJ perked up a bit, “I’ve been staying in Violet’s room while you’re healing, ‘cause Ruby said you needed to have your own space. Everyone offered, but Louis is also kinda healing, and I was gonna stay with Tenn, but…” He hesitated again. “I dunno,” he mumbled, curling in a bit on himself, “Vi just felt a little…safer. Is that mean?”

Clementine had flickers of scenes play out. A hesitation AJ had never been taught. Optimism that she never had the time to instill in him. A moment of hope on a bridge for something long gone.

“S’not,” Clementine murmured, pressing her face into his hair, “you…need to be. Safe.” She managed to get out.

“Okay,” AJ exhaled, “cause Vi said I wasn’t, and so did Louis, but I think Tenn noticed, and I don’t…I don’t want him to feel bad, but…it was still stupid.” He muttered, bitterness evident.

“Don’t blame.” Clementine insisted. In general, yes, she agreed, it was a bad move to risk them like that, but…she couldn’t blame him for it. She never could. Hell, she’d be a damn hypocrite. Doing stupid things to help people who are already dead was kind of why she was here.

“But it was!” AJ persisted.

“What if…” Clementine inhaled, tried again. “I was…I was on the bridge?”

“But you were—?”

“As….” She breathed out. “As Minerva. What if?”

“You wouldn’t!” AJ turned in her arms, and she managed to crack open an eye to see him staring at her, aghast and downright offended. “You’d never be like Minerva!”

“If.” Clementine pressed.

AJ glared at her for a few moments. When his eyes flicked down, she figured something got through. He pulled himself closer again, face against her collarbone.

“I guess I might have been kinda like Tenn.” AJ muttered, clearly grumpy about it. “But you’d never be like Minerva, so it doesn’t matter.”

Clementine wasn’t quite sure how to start the sometimes good people can become something cruel conversation, because that led to the sometimes cruel people can become something good, which was a whole other bag of worms. Inevitably, it would lead to nobody is fully good or fully cruel, and they’ll always do a bit of both, which would then start to hit somewhere personal, and she would really love to never touch that gaping wound.

But, luckily, she had an injury to blame for not starting up that topic. So she just held AJ close, and focused on the fact he was here, and he was okay.

“Minerva couldn’t be helped, anyway.” AJ mumbled into her collarbone after a moment. “She was basically a walker.”

“So was I.” Clementine reminded.

“But I could actually help you!” AJ pulled back again to look at her desperately, as though she just wasn’t getting it.

“Maybe Tenn…thought he…could.” Clementine gritted out, scrunching her eyes shut when the headache pinged against her skull again.

“But she didn’t…” AJ made a sound like a growl, squeezing tighter and roughly thunking his head back on her collarbone, which stung a bit, causing her to hiss quietly. “He couldn’t help.”

“Thought different.” Clementine tried.

AJ stayed quiet. Clementine focused on trying to will her headache away, unsure if AJ’s chatter would make it worse or if it’d help distract, because it was really kicking up, now. She hoped she wasn’t holding AJ too tightly, she couldn’t really tell.

“Did…” AJ started, something faded and distant. “Did I help, Clem?”

“Yes,” She said immediately, the word like mud on her tongue, trying to curl herself down and closer, “yes, yes, helped. You helped.” She murmured, and would continue to do so as much as he needed her to.

“You promise?” AJ whispered, nearly swallowed up.

“Promise,” She insisted, clinging as tight as she dared, “promise. Thank you, thank you.”

The pounding in her head said otherwise. But there was no going back now, not with AJ pressed against her and no doubt getting tears on her shirt. She might be getting tears in his hair. 

She was never someone religious. Maybe her parents had been trying to raise her to be, but she’s pretty sure they weren’t. She never once believed there was anything watching them, and likely never would.

Please, she prayed anyway, in the darkness of a room she could finally say was hers and mean it, please don’t make me a liar. For his sake, please don’t make me lie.

There was no answer, because of course there wasn’t.

It was only them.

The ninth time she woke up…well, did it really count?

She was still bleary, her head still hurt, and it seemed like it was still dark. Everything was blurry, and being ‘conscious’ was a vast overstatement. She was one twitch away from falling back into nothing.

But she swore she heard voices, soft and blending together. Felt a weight shift in her arms, and she instinctively clung back to it, chest moving with some noise she couldn’t name.

More voices, and through her horrible vision, she thought she saw something vaguely hand-shaped pass before it. She blinked at it, shutting her eyes again and curling back to the weight in her arms.

“Go to…rest…okay?”

Another noise from her chest. The weight pressed back into her tighter. An exasperated sigh, more voices.

“Needs…stay…please?”

“Can’t…Ruby…”

Another weight on her forehead. Clementine knew she grunted at that, one eye cracking open to try and make out what was putting it there. It was a hand, and the owner was blonde. Clementine tried to reach a heavy arm for it, but it barely moved an inch before the hand was gone.

“Tomorrow…alright?”

The thing in her arms moved again. She clung, but it still managed to leave, still managed to leave cold where it used to be, and she jerked desperately to get it back, eyes opening wider, even if it did nothing to improve her vision.

“Wait,” She tried, the word foreign, a panic she hated rising and slamming against her chest like a stampede.

“Hey, hey,” She heard, a little clearer, and a weight was on her shoulder, and she immediately leaned to it, “you’re okay.”

A whine, she thinks, eyes shutting against her headache, trying to grab the weight and keep it there.

“You’re okay,” the voice said again, “we’re still here.”

Either she passed out after that, or she decided that was enough reassurance to fall asleep. Because when she opened her eyes again, light was streaming across the room, and the weight was gone.

Chapter Text

The tenth time she woke up, it was very obviously the middle of the day.

Also, someone was standing at the dresser, mixing a spoon in some kind of bowl. It took her a solid fifteen seconds of staring to process someone was actually in the room. It took another five to process who it was.

“Omar?” She mumbled, and his head immediately turned.

“Oh, morning, Clem.” Omar greeted, paused. “Well, noon. Good noon.”

“How long was I out?” She groaned, squinting her eyes against the light. At least her headache was mostly gone.

“Well, according to AJ and Violet, since last night.” Omar said simply, going back to the bowl. “At least you’re waking up more often. You hungry?”

“Eh,” Clementine attempted a shrug. She honestly couldn’t feel anything in regards to hunger.

“Well, you’re eating.” Omar said, stepping over. “You’re already starting to look malnourished just on soup alone.”

“I can have somethin’ else?” Clementine tried, already pushing an arm up under her.

“I already made soup, so you’re getting soup.” Omar shrugged, reaching to help her sit up. At the very least, she was feeling less awful. Take that, leg. “If you wake up sometime tomorrow before any of our meals, though, you can definitely have those.”

“Nice,” Clementine grinned, a bit woozily, letting Omar help adjust her so she was leaning against the headboard, almost entirely upright. “Where’s AJ?”

“Had to peel him off of you yesterday.” Omar chuckled. “You’re not in the full clear yet, but it’s just a precaution.” He waved it off, picking up the bowl of soup and spoon. “I am not an expert on losing limbs, but I think you're handling it pretty well.”

“Damn,” Clementine said, “that good an actor?”

“Best I’ve seen.” Omar joked back, dipping the spoon into the soup as he sat on the edge of the bed, moving to offer it out.

“Not a toddler.” Clementine reeled her head back immediately. “Gimmie.” She huffed, reaching up a shaky hand for the spoon.

Omar gave her a deadpan look she felt was woefully undeserved. She could hold a spoon. Probably.

“No one is stupid enough to think that.” Omar relented with a sigh, holding out the spoon. Though he still held up the bowl by her face. Small victories. “Forgive me for not wanting you to spill soup everywhere.”

“I got it.” Clementine huffed, willing her shaking to lessen as she dipped it into the bowl. 

She ate in relative silence after that. It was…alright, if embarrassingly slow going, but she got there! She just had to hover over the bowl, and she got it down. Omar was, luckily, sporting a ridiculous amount of muscle, so he didn’t seem to complain about holding the bowl up for so long.

Even if she would’ve preferred conversation. But conversation with Omar was limited, if it existed at all.

“Everyone’s wondering when you’re up for a big visit, by the way.” Omar commented when Clementine had to set the spoon down in the bowl for a moment before her arm gave out completely. “Louis, mainly. They mostly just hate talkin’ to you once in a blue moon.”

“Apologies,” Clementine mumbled, leaning back a bit, “I’ll tell my leg to quit fucking with me.”

“Is that a yes to the visitation, or no?” Omar didn’t take the jab, raising a brow. “I’m happy to pretend you were still asleep, but Louis is grating on everyone's nerves.”

“Normal, isn’t it?” Clementine teased. Omar smiled, but didn’t respond any more. She frowned at the bowl, to which Omar set it aside. She experimentally twitched her still-shaking fingers, and stared off at the opposite wall to gauge how blurry it was. To which the answer was: very little.

“Yeah,” She decided, looking back, “yeah, I wanna see them.”

“You sure?” Omar pressed.

“Sure.” Clementine nodded. “Miss ‘em, y’know?”

“I do.” Omar chuckled, pushing himself off and away from the dresser. “Leeches, the lot of them.”

That got a giggle out of Clementine, and for once, it didn’t feel like it was brambles being dragged out through her throat. Not pleasant, but…better.

AJ was the first to arrive, as expected. His legs were short, but six-year-olds with a mission are vicious.

“Vi told me to warn you about the stampede!” AJ announced as he hurried in.

“She coming?” Clementine wondered, automatically offering an arm to accept the standard hug. 

“Yeah, but she and Ruby hung back a bit.” AJ said, pulling away. “And to get Tenn, I think. He’s still in his room.”

Clementine opened her mouth to ask about that, ask how Tenn was, if he’d rather meet her alone, that it was alright if he didn’t want to see her…had she not heard the sound of a loud thunk outside the opened door, followed by an array of shouting.

“You fucking dick—!”

“It was Louis!”

“Both of you are dicks, then!”

Willy’s head popped in next, grinning as he all but barreled in, the warning before the storm.

“Hello again!” He greeted with a wave, turning on his heel to glare out the door. “Because I got to talk to her—”

“We know, Willy. You didn’t shut the hell up.” Aasim muttered, head appearing over the doorway, looking beyond exhausted. “You already saw her, why aren’t you with Omar—?”

Aasim was nearly shoved down completely as a body all but collapsed over him, a bright grin flashing through long, incredibly tangled, dreadlocks.

“Hey, Louis.” Clementine let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, smiling back.

“Hey!” Louis greeted back, a bit off, a tad deeper, and like he had cotton in his mouth, but it was his voice, and that was enough to have Clementine lighting up with absolute glee as she tried to lean up, stretching out her arm as AJ eased back.

“C’mere!” She gestured. “It’s been…two weeks?” She frowned at AJ, who nodded, then back to Louis. “Two weeks!”

“Oh, sure, he gets a hug.” She heard Willy complain as Louis practically teleported over, delighted as he crushed Clementine in a hug.

“That’s because you’re disgusting.” Aasim muttered, followed by a yelp that meant Willy had either elbowed or kicked him.

“You,” Louis started, still sounding like a bit of cotton in his mouth, pausing, then brightening again, “you’re up! Hi!”

“Hi,” Clementine chuckled, grabbing onto his arm. “How’re ya?”

Louis promptly gave her a “really?” look and gestured down to her, currently covered, legs. Clementine rolled her eyes, trying to push herself back a bit until her head was leaning up slightly.

“God forbid I worry.” She muttered.

“We’ll worry plenty.” Aasim assured, currently on the opposite side of the room from Willy, one hand wrapped around his side. “We have worried plenty.”

“I can tell.” Clementine drawled, attempting to shove herself to the corner and pat at the bed.

AJ immediately hopped up, sitting right next and against her side like he was just waiting for the chance.

Louis was a lot less thoughtful about it. He appeared to think it over for a solid three seconds before pulling up onto the bed, turning around, and flopping his entire back horizontally over her waist. Because he was a massive dick.

Clementine wheezed at the weight, Louis giving her a smug look as his head hung off, nearly touching the wall. AJ could barely start up his complaints before Clementine was smacking her hand against Louis’s arm, which only caused him to bark out a laugh.

“Ruby’s going to kill you.” Aasim warned, Louis only raising his hand and lazily waving him off.

“Jerk.” Clementine huffed, and that only got Louis innocently batting his eyelashes at her, which earned another half-hearted shove.

“Oh, did Ruby say when you’d be up and not sleepy all the time?” Willy asked, popping in at the foot of the bed. Aasim, at least, was calmer, sitting down on the floor next to the bed.

“Er,” Clementine fumbled for a moment, brain still a bit too foggy to be quick on the lie, “no, but. Eventually?”

“She doesn’t know, got it.” Willy clicked his tongue disappointingly, leaning back.

“‘Ong way,” Louis puffed out…then glared off into the distance, pressing the heel of his palm to his cheek.

“Long wait.” Aasim translated easily, crossing his legs. “Louis, buddy, we found those sign language books for a reason.”

“Boring.” Louis sniffed, lounging even heavier over Clementine’s body.

“Dude,” Clementine wheezed, giving another push to his ribs.

In response, Louis just grinned boyishly at her. She noticed, distantly, that the smile didn't quite reach as high as it normally did.

Of which she had no time to address, because that was when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.

“Louis!” Violet barked from the doorway, and it threw Willy into hysterics how fast Louis sprung to his feet. Mostly because he went up too fast without looking where he was going, and promptly smacked his forehead against the bottom of the top bunk.

Aasim rolled his eyes, but AJ, too, began snickering. Clementine let herself cackle, pressing her head back against the wall as Louis struggled to not fall back on top of her, hand pressed to his head.

“Do not lay on her, what is wrong with you?” Violet snapped, sounding more exasperated than anything, storming in and yanking Louis by the collar of his coat, nearly sending him tripping right over Aasim. 

“Fie! Cem fie!” Louis got out, cringing in Violet’s hold.

“What was he doing.” Ruby also appeared in the doorway, exhausted. 

“Louis things.” AJ chirped cheerfully, to which Clementine patted his arm. 

“Regular amount of stupid edition.” Violet tossed Louis to the side, where he went pinwheeling almost into the wall. “Alright, alright, guys, don’t crowd her.”

“Oh, right!” Willy promptly stepped to the side, making a broad, dramatic gesture towards Clementine, bowing at the waist. “Of course, boss. How terribly rude of us, obstructing you from your girlfriend, our mistake.”

“I could punt you like the world's lightest football.” Violet warned, flicking his forehead when she stepped close enough, Aasim scooting to allow her more space.

“You weigh a hundred thirty pounds, soaking wet.”

“You are also not exempt from this.” Violet shot a glower Aasim’s way, coming to lean against the bedside drawer. Louis was not at all hiding his giggling. “Omar said you ate.” She then turned to Clementine, ignoring everyone.

“Soup, again.” Clementine agreed.

“Do you even remember eating all that soup?” AJ frowned at her.

“She doesn’t, she’s dramatic.” Ruby was standing by the foot of the bed, closer than any of the boys after Willy moved away, because she did have executive authority, and was bullied far less than Violet. And she could actually punt people like a football. 

“Whatever,” Clementine huffed, letting her tired eyes be half-lidded, “Omar on watch?”

“He valiantly took the sacrifice to let us all say hi.” Aasim said, crossing his arms. “Willy can’t stay long though, he’s gotta help him.”

“You’re all bullying me just cause you’re old.” Willy pouted.

“You ‘aw her.” Louis attempted to poke at Willy’s side, barely avoiding getting it bitten off. “‘ats—” He frowned, then shook his head. “Fair.”

“Can I ask how you are again, then?” Clementine tried. “I mean it, I wanna know.”

“And you won’t be doing anything about it,” Violet reminded, bringing one leg up, bracing her foot on the desk, the other hand keeping her upright as she almost fully sat on the edge. Aasim pursed his lips in clear distaste, “because you’re banned from co-leader duty for the time being.”

“Co-leader doesn’t mean you have authority over that.” Clementine hummed.

“Oh, I asked the same thing.” AJ turned to her. “If, like, being co-leader meant you could do that. But Violet said—”

“I have authority when the other co-leader should be in a hospital.” Violet cut in. 

“‘ats a coup.” Louis supplied. “‘ound ‘ike a coup.” He didn’t have a very pleased expression as he spoke. It didn’t seem to be about the meaning of the sentence itself.

“A soft coup, but that means illegally overthrowing someone.” Aasim corrected, getting his holier-than-thou voice on. Willy instantly tuned out, meanwhile Louis began mocking Aasim by mouthing out his words with his hand. “Clementine wasn’t really overthrown so much as, like, retired—”

“We appreciate the education, Aasim, really, but let's just settle on ‘not a coup.’” Ruby made a ‘zip’ motion with her hand. Aasim promptly zipped up. Willy was giving him a very shit-eating grin he was ignoring. “We’re all fine, Clem, as fine as we can be.”

“We’re alive!” AJ chirped, leaning back onto Clementine slightly. She leaned her head against his arm as well, feeling his back move as he talked and breathed. “Tenn’s alive, the rest of the school is alive, uh…” He hesitated a moment. “Um, I think James is alive?” 

“We haven’t seen him since.” Violet added when Clementine’s eyes shifted up to her. “No clue where he slithered off too.”

“A grave, maybe.” Louis quipped, and it started Clementine, hearing him finally say full words, even if they sounded awkward and wrong. 

“Be nice, you owe him.” Ruby scolded.

“He cou’ ‘hoow up.” Louis rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall. “You ‘ow, a’ a ‘ough—” He grit his teeth, sighing. “A’ a ‘ugge—” He just threw his hands in the air, thumping his head back against the wall and glaring at the ceiling.

And it was very apparent, everyone doing their best to not look at him. The awkwardness hanging unsteadily in the air, a vase on the edge of a table, on the brink of falling.

“Glad to hear it.” Clementine decided to say, because it was surefire to get everyone's attention right back on her, and not the scar scorned over the room. “Hows…” She glanced at Violet, “Tenn?”

“Alive.” Violet’s jaw worked, eyes darting away before coming back. “He’s…gonna need time.”

“I think he’s happy you’re okay.” AJ offered. The room was tense again, but of a different kind. Less immediate, at least. “I hope he is. He should be.”

“Okay is a strong word— ow!” Willy flinched when Aasim smacked the back of his hand against his arm. And got a good foot of space to himself when he tried to bite Aasim, who scurried closer to Ruby over the floor.

“Alive.” Clementine echoed, tipping her head back, eyes nearly shut. “S’best we could ask for.”

“That’s the low bar.” She heard Violet say. “Staying alive is the low bar. We’re working up from there.”

“Har’ bar ‘ko meek,” Louis mumbled, sounding like he was replacing the ‘t’ with a hard ‘k’. It only kind-of-worked.

“Lasted this long.” Clementine hummed, closing her eyes more fully. “M’glad you’re alright. S’nice for a change.”

“Clem?” AJ sounded worred, and it felt like a hand pressed to her forehead. 

“She’s just tired, squirt.” Sounded like Ruby, less clear than before.

“That sounds like it’s wrap-time.” Violet said, maybe the sound of her shoes back on the ground. Clementine didn’t know, she was searching for AJ’s hand on the bed, and when she found it, she gave it a squeeze. It probably didn’t feel like much. 

“But she’ll get better about staying awake, yeah?” It sounded like Aasim. Her eyelids felt heavy. She didn’t think she’d be sinking into sleep, but goodness, she was tired.

“Hard work for a body to fight to stay alive.” That was definitely Ruby. “Poor things been fighting for two weeks. C’mon, Willy, you gotta go help Omar on watch anyway.”

It sounded like complaining started up. Clementine couldn’t really make any of it out anymore. But behind her eyelids she saw, when she had been looking, the worried way AJ pressed closer, and how Violet was so tense. Even still, there was Louis’s frown, his glare into nothing, jaw working over a muscle that wasn’t there.

She didn’t fall asleep by force, like the other times, or when she’d been so tired it was inevitable, even if she wanted to stay awake. It felt simply like growing very tired, and when voices started trickling out of her room, it seemed optimal to sleep. 

And it was easier to feel like sleeping, when the hand on her own didn’t leave. Easier, still, when among the murmuring, she thought she felt lips press to her forehead, hair brushed aside.

Clementine was not an optimistic person. She didn’t call herself a pessimist, either, just realistic. Realistically, it was rare that anything good happened. Realistically, it was often neutral, kinda bad, or horrific. 

Still, when delirious with sleep, the mind could think all sorts of stupid things. So she blamed that when, drifting off, she thought…maybe they’d be okay.