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Scar had a headache. The Mycelium Resistance had somehow genetically modified Mycelium to produce pickles. Pickles were everywhere! The Mycelium Resistance would just spread more every time HEP just took one away! This was ridiculous, and getting way out of hand. It might be time for a Hermit meeting.
Suddenly, Xisuma walked in. "Hello glorious mayor Scar! I would like to talk about the Mycelium produced pickles. My family is loving them!" Scar started to pet Jellie, his cat in anxiety.
"Well you see Xisuma, the pickles are... Becoming a problem. I have decided to host a server wide meeting so that way we can vote on getting rid of them or not." Xisuma walked away dejectedly. All he wanted to do was sell fungus pickles at ridiculously high prices to his family. Something had to be done about this.
Everyone was sitting somewhere in the town hall. By somewhere I mean that the Podzol Party was sitting on the walls, HEP was sitting on the floor as was everyone not participating in this conflict, and the Mycelium Resistance was sitting on the ceiling. Scar didn't even know how that was possible! Scar then cleared his throat and the server meeting had begun.
"Greetings honored hermits....And the Mycelium Resistance." A pickle fell on Scar's head. "We have a very important matter to discuss. That matter is that pickles have taken over my- I mean our beautiful server. We need to get rid off them. We need to take action! Who's with me?"
Pickles started to rain from the sky. Grian started pulling Cub's hair. False had challenged Stress to a duel. Bdubs brought spaghetti in his pocket and started passing it around, until it was stolen by Joe Hills. Cleo started wrestling Joe for the crime and the Podzel Party was munching on popcorn. And Mumbo? Mumbo was snacking on a pickle.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a portal opened and like 40 different versions of Xisuma walked in to the town hall. Some immediately joined the pandemonium, while other approached Scar, who was currently having a midlife crisis at 24 years old. All the other Xisumas ran up to give the original Xisuma a hug.
Beesuma, who was one of the Xisumas that approached Scar, looked up at him and asked in a small voice "Scar? Are you gonna take away our fungus pickles?" Scar just couldn't say no to an adorable Xisuma in a bee costume. So, like most politicians, he decided to compromise.
"Well, I'm going to do that, yes, but you can take home some fungus pickles so you can grow them on your own. Also, why are there so many Xisumas?" Scar replied curiously and diplomatically.
All the Xisuma's started to cheer, except for the original Xisuma, who mumbled quite loudly "There goes my monopoly on fungus pickles." Everyone looked at the original Xisuma oddly.
Turtlesuma answered Scar's question "Well, sometimes original Xisuma gets really burnt out, so he clones himself so he can have a break, and you hermits would still get to hang out with him, or at least a version of him. We thought he told you guys."
Scar's migraine was picking back up again. He took a deep breath and yelled with all his might.
"XISUMA YOU GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!!!!"
Everybody couldn't help but pity Xisuma at that point. One does not have good times with Scar when he is mad.
