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Hawkmoth was quiet. He’s been quiet ever since he has acquired the Miraculous, leaving Marinette with nothing but Tikki and Chat Noir. It was strange, the fact that the man suddenly turned so quiet. Didn’t he want the earrings and ring anymore? Was this it? Was he satisfied with all of the other Miraculous now? But it didn’t make any sense! Maybe he was plotting something, a way to get Chat’s and hers Miraculous and finish this whole war once and for all. She couldn’t even imagine winning anymore.
At first her mind replayed Chat’s words in her head, keeping her somewhat calm and collected. Chat Noir was still there and ready to help her deal with everything and anything that might get thrown in their way. He was there even though she was the worst partner in the world, even though she let him down so badly even before losing the Miraculous to Hawkmoth. And she couldn’t thank him enough for his support and presence. But it all just didn’t matter because with Hawkmoth out of sight, Ladybug and Chat Noir weren’t needed, meaning Marinette hasn’t seen Chat in a while and she was beginning to lose it.
Alya tried to help, of course. She was always ready to come over and try and comfort Marinette. Her knowing the whole story without any lies thrown into the mix was a huge help, but it just wasn’t enough. Marinette appreciated her friend so much, but it wasn’t anything like talking to her partner. Chat Noir used to be a stranger at first. Then they fought together and grew closer. First they became allies, the teammates. They grew to be partners and friends… and Marinette used to think he was right there, below Alya. Because he wasn’t her best friend, how could he be? She didn’t even know who he was. And Alya helped her with everything so far, always sticking by her side. She might not have been perfect, but she was a good friend.
Turns out all of that logic didn’t matter because deep down Marinette knew Chat Noir was way beyond Alya. Even if Alya was Rena Rouge. Even if she knew everything there was to know about Marinette and Ladybug… she just didn’t have the same connection Marinette and Chat Noir had. There was something special between the two of them, something that she couldn’t describe with words. He was so much more than simply her partner and far beyond a regular friend. She could read him like an open book half the time and the other half was locked away from her because she asked him to.
Inside of her, something begged her to scream to the entire world how much she missed her Kitty. How much she needed to see him and to tell him how much she cared, because she realized she took it all for granted. She just looked at him and saw someone she couldn’t imagine would ever leave her side. So of course she didn’t tell him how much she needed him before, but now that she didn’t have him beside her every few days… it made her feel empty, like a shadow of herself. And she could tell people around her could tell there was something wrong, but even Alya couldn’t know about this because this felt too private for Marinette to share with her friend.
Paris never did appreciate Char enough. They called Ladybug’s name and asked for her help, tolerating Chat Noir as if he was her sidekick and a package deal. She barely even stopped to acknowledge that, always too busy with something else in her mind. But now she couldn’t help but notice it, the way people just couldn’t comprehend the connection the two of them had. The people of Paris didn’t know how close Marinette was to stop being Ladybug had Chat not been there. And not only once. He was her rick and the person to encourage her when she was down. He was the person who pulled her back up after getting thrown around by life. He has always been there for her, and according to Tikki the boy under the adorable mask of Chat Walker was the same as Chat Noir, meaning even then he didn’t really leave her side.
And sure, at first the realization that he tricked her like that made her angry, but then she realized how lucky she was. She felt so bad about trying to replace Chat Noir after everything they’ve been through, she counted herself lucky that she never actually chose anyone else. Besides, knowing Chat Walker, the guy she actually started liking enough for her to actually have to get rid of in order to concentrate, was Chat Noir, her goofy, silly partner who kept on fawning over her… it made her lightheaded. Because who was the real Chat Noir? How was it possible for her to fall in love with one side of the boy and not feel anything for the other? Or rather… it wasn’t as intense when it was Chat Noir in front of her. Maybe Chat Walker just reminded her too much of Adrien, who knows.
Anyway, with all of that going on, Marinette just didn’t understand why Paris didn’t see how amazing Chat Noir truly was. The guy kept on sacrificing himself to save her. He wasn’t her sidekick, he was her partner, her equal. He was a part of their duo and she couldn’t make this superhero a solo career if she wanted. They were creation and destruction, meant to fight side by side and not alone. The balance between them was amazing and their connection outstanding. So how come people only ever cared about Ladybug?
“You okay, Princess?”
The voice startled her out of her thoughts and she looked up from the city below to find Chat Noir perched on the railing of her balcony right next to her, not looking at her but rather at the city. He looked… he looked sad. And her heart leapt in her chest at the sight of her familiar friend. How long has it been since she’s seen him? A couple of weeks. Way too much.
Trying to smile, she shrugged. “Just lost in thoughts. You look down, though.”
For a moment his head turned to look at her and piercing, green eyes locked with hers, making her feel exposed and raw, unable to hide a thing from him. But he just put on a small, fake smile that didn’t even reach his eyes. “You could say that.” He looked back towards the city and sighed, the wind blowing his messy hair backwards. Marinette’s breath hitched at the sight but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “You don’t like me either, right?”
“W-what?!” Marinette shrieked, eyes wide and jaw dropping. She stared at Chat Noir as the boy shifted a bit, allowing himself to sit on the railing with one leg swinging over the edge and the other bent and close to his chest. “Why would you say that? Of course that’s not true!”
The look he gave her at that was somewhat flat and disbelieving. “The first time we talked, when Evillustrator came after you and Ladybug sent me to keep you safe… you opened the door and we talked. I know I had my back to you half the time but I didn’t miss the gesture you made.” He sounded actually hurt by that. “I can’t really blame you – I would have loved to work with Ladybug instead – but you can’t act as if it never happened. I saw you.”
Her eyes fell to her hands and she gulped down before sighing. She almost forgot about that. Back then she wasn’t as close to Chat Noir. To her, he was nothing more than a goofball walking around and pretending to be more annoying and extrovert than needed. He got on he nerves. Maybe she learned to love those things about him, or maybe she realized there was something there that caused him to act this way around her… but back then she just couldn’t appreciate it like she could now.
Lifting one hand, she rested it on his, making the hero look at her with surprise. “I was stupid then and under a tons of stress.” She tried to explain. “I didn’t dislike you back then, I just didn’t care for all of the bragging you did in front of me. I’m sorry if it hurt you, Chat. I really am.” She said earnestly and something in his eyes softened. “And just so you know, it’s been such a long time since then, things have changed. I can’t even express how much I care about you.”
She expected a pun or a joke in return. Something light to ease up the tension between them. But instead he just smiled at her genuinely, no trace of self-absorbent in sight. He just looked at her like her words meant the world to him, like he was really happy to hear it because it meant more to him than he could ever explain. She only wished he knew these words came from Ladybug as well as Marinette.
And then, without any warning, his face fell and he turned back to look at the city, his expression solemn and downcast. His shoulders dropped and his ears flattened, making him look like an actual sad cat. Even his tail was frozen in place on the ground, not alive and twisting like usual. He was sad again, but what did she do?? Did she say something wrong? Something he could interpret the wrong way? Something that could make him feel bad?? Where did she go wrong??
“This is all my fault.” He mumbled, not looking at her. Marinette just stared at him, not sure what he was talking about. “This whole mess with the Miraculous… I know it was Risk messing around with our brains, with our decisions and thoughts, but it was just such a stupid thing to do, I can’t believe I could ever believe it was the right choice to make. And who knew this would ever lead to all of the Miraculous being stolen by Hawkmoth?”
Marinette blinked at him, eyes wide. “W-what are you talking about? I thought it was a choice Ladybug made that changed things. I mean, everyone messed up that day – I did some really stupid things…” She trailed off for a moment, biting her bottom lip. “But it wasn’t your fault, Chat.”
There were tears streaming down his face now, slowly but surly making their way towards his chin or his nose. She wanted to wipe them away but the expression on his face was distant, like he was somewhere else and not with her. She was too scared to bring him back to the present by touching him like that. He could fall off the balcony or attack her, thinking she was an Akuma.
“But it was.” He closed his eyes tightly, pressing his lips together. “I can’t even tell Ladybug about this because then she’d know everything. And I can’t talk to anyone else about this because no one else knows about Chat Noir.”
Her heart ached at the thought of Chat having no one to vent to. Marinette had Alya, but Chat… he was all alone. And Marinette should tell him not to tell her anything because she WAS Ladybug, but she couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth. He came to HER. He chose to talk to her about everything because, apparently, he trusted Marinette, not just Ladybug. How could she steal this little comfort from him too? So she had to play clueless because the only ones who knew what caused the heroes’ downfall were Chat Noir, Ladybug, Felix and Adrien. Marinette Dupain-Cheng wasn’t a part of this list.
Apparently, Marinette’s lack of protest made Chat think he was in the clear and could talk to her. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from cutting him off or urging him on. She wanted to protect their identities but… but she wanted to help him and this thing… whatever it was, it seemed to weigh him down more than a little. She had to help him, she cared too much about him not to.
“My… family, they wanted me to leave Paris for a while. A long while. And I didn’t want to, not just because of Chat Noir but because my life is here, along with all of my friends. I didn’t want to leave it all behind for something I couldn’t care less about, but I didn’t have a choice in the matter. But then Risk came along with my cousin and I made the stupid decision to listen to him and take him up on his offer.” With a frown on his face, he continued. “He said he wanted to help me and I bought it even though last time he caused more harm than I’d like to admit. But I was selfish and stupid and just wanted someone else to handle my problems, so I let him pretend to be me for a while. I don’t know if it was because of Risk or if I would have agreed to this with a clear head, but I… I messed up.”
Marinette couldn’t breathe. Was it possible there were two cousins that day who switched with each other? Who decided to trick everyone, including her? Or was Chat actually talking about the same cousins she knew about? The ones that would let her know who her partner was under the mask? She wanted to stop him, to make him take it all back, but her mouth wouldn’t operate. She was desperate to stop him and yet also wanted to hear more.
“Apparently Ladybug decided she needed my help in the fight. She chose to give me a Miraculous even though she already tried it once and it ended up being one of my worst nightmares. I had to watch her die over and over again 25,913 times. I don’t know what she was thinking.” He murmured but Marinette could only stare at him, because there was only one person who knew about those 25,913 failed tries. Only one person who suffered through that and Chat Noir wasn’t around for that, according to them. Chat Noir, unaware of her realization, shook his head as if to toss his thoughts away. “I don’t know how she knew where to try and look for me, but she got on the train my cousin was on, the one I should have been on had things gone according to plan, and instead of finding me she found my cousin. And he let her believe it was me.” He balled his hands into fists. “He tricked her. He tricked her and I don’t know why, but he worked with Hawkmoth and stole all of the Miraculous and none of this would have happened had I just told him no.”
It was quiet. Chat Noir still refused looking at her and Marinette was too busy fighting off her thoughts because holy moly, Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste and he was in love with her and he was blaming himself for what happened to the Miraculous when this wasn’t his fault but Hawkmoth’s. He was just a victim of an Akuma, just like her. Just like everyone else.
A memory flashed in Marinette’s mind, of Alya showing her a picture of Adrien with Chat Noir’s costume and telling her how similar the two of them looked. Back then Marinette brushed it off, claiming they were nothing alike. How stupid could she possibly be, right? Finding out Alya was actually onto something and that she was such an idiot to practically toss the truth out a window without second guessing herself.
But then another memory caught up to her. One of a ruined world where the moon was shuttered and the earth was flooded. One where a simple touch could make Ladybug turn to dust in the water and one, lonely cat was all alone, coping with something terrible that brought the end of the world, that made him get Akumatized. Adrien got Akumatized. But WHY? What was horrible enough to break the spirit of this kind, calm and loving boy? To break Chat Noir’s spirit? He knew her name back there. He knew her name and she, supposedly, knew his in that timeline. What if this timeline came back? What if this conversation would bring the end of the world again?
Yet she knew that was stupid. Bunnix would have intervened long ago if that was the case. She was out there, watching over all of them, and right now things weren’t bad enough, apparently. Right now Adrien and she were safe. Maybe Chat Blanc would never happen now. Maybe it would stay nothing more than a horrible memory. Maybe… maybe it was time for her to stop fearing the future and instead try and focus on the present. She lived in it, after all. She had to move on, and for that she had to trust herself. Herself and her Kitty Cat.
Taking in a deep breath, Marinette closed her eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, Adrien.”
His reaction was, in fact, to almost fall off the balcony. The only reason he didn’t plummet down was that she caught his tail just in time to catch him. He righted himself almost immediately, his green eyes snapping in her direction to read the expression on his face. He looked both panicked and relieved, like the idea of her finding out his secret was both bad and good. He really needed someone on his side, didn’t he?
“How did you know?”
She could lie. She could tell him it was because she only knew of one pair of cousins who looked alike so much that they could switch places. She could claim to know nothing about the way the Miraculous got lost and be that person for Chat Noir, for Adrien. The one he could come to if things got rough. His Alya to his Ladybug, if you will (terrible analogy. Never mind).
But she couldn’t lie to Adrien, and she sure as hell couldn’t lie to Chat Noir.
“Ladybug knew you were supposed to be on that train… because I knew that. I was there at first, before the fight even began, to try and stop you from leaving. I don’t know what I would have done, but I felt like I had to do something. Especially after hearing about how much you didn’t want to go in the first place.” She smiled sadly at him but he still looked confused. Touched, but confused. “I gave Felix the Dog Miraculous, Kitty.” His eyes widened a bit, like he realized what she was implying but couldn’t quite believe it just yet. “I was the one who broke down in your room when Felix fetched my yoyo. And then I didn’t know if I could trust you, you said: If you’re gonna trust me once, please let it be this time.”
His eyes flashed with recognition and he stood up from the railing, his body both tense and relaxed at the same time. He looked like he was about to melt to the floor at any moment or pounce (or maybe bolt?) at a moment’s notice. But he didn’t move from his spot. He just stared at her.
Shoulders slumping, Marinette looked away, finally unable to maintain eye contact with her partner. “None of this was your fault. It was me. All me. I messed everything up by being too controlling and pushing you away and… and…” She shook her head as the tears burned her eyes. “I don’t understand how you could still stick by my side after everything I’ve done. To our friends, to Paris… to you…”
Leather clad hands pulled her into a tight embrace that broke her down, making her sob into Chat Noir’s – Adrien’s – chest. She missed him so much. Even if he was, in fact, Adrien and has been right behind her all this time, he wasn’t there for her like Chat was for Ladybug. Because neither of them had any idea. And Chat Noir hasn’t been around, so now, finally feeling comfortable in a place that was all too familiar to her, she couldn’t help but feel at home, at ease. She felt safe for the first time in so long, she had no idea how she even managed to survive this long without Chat Noir by her side.
“I can’t deny that you hurt me more than once with all of your secrets and keeping me out of the loop, My Lady,” He admitted quietly and Marinette flinched as if being hit by a baseball bat. His arms tightened around her, keeping her close. “But you’ve been under so much stress lately and I didn’t exactly help you with me whining about you not giving me enough attention.” This time he winced and she wished she could just make realize how much he actually meant to her, both as Adrien and Chat Noir. “And all of this doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact that we’re a team. We started this thing together and we’re going to finish it side by side.” He got far enough away for her to be able to see his face as he looked down at her. God, when had he gotten this tall?? “You’re gonna have to do a lot more than that to keep me away from you, Bugaboo.” He winked.
A laugh escaped her lips. Or… something between a sob and a laugh, at the very least. Marinette closed her eyes when Chat brought up one hand to wipe the tears off her face, a soft smile gracing his lips. Instead of taking it away once he was done, though, he let his hand up her cheek until she opened her eyes again and locked them with his.
“I know I was determined not to share our identities…” Marinette mumbled and he stiffened a bit, his lips pursed and his expression somewhat stony, like he was getting ready for her to scold him. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it enough to make him look a little more relaxed. “But I don’t think we would have been able to fight Hawkmoth and get the Miraculous back while keeping it a secret for much longer. I was already beginning to lose my mind from not seeing you for so long.”
He smirked. “You do realize your seat is right behind me and you can always see me at school, right Bugaboo? If anyone can see someone here, it’s me. Because you’re behind me and if I look back I’m pretty sure Madame Bustier would catch me, plus half of our class.”
She punched his shoulder lightly and rolled her eyes fondly. “I can’t believe I’ve had a crush on you and didn’t realize you’re such a dork!” She accused and then watched as his expression changed from playful to astonished. Her mouth fell open and he just gaped at her. She cringed, feeling stupid for just blurting it out like that. But with Chat instead of Adrien… she felt safe. Even if he didn’t feel the same – which was unlikely seeing as he’s been trying to date her as Ladybug for ages now – she knew they would be okay. “Yeah… the other boy I kept mentioning?” Instead of saying a name, she pointed at him vaguely.
The beaming smile on his face could light up the whole city, and Paris was the City of Light, so… yeah, that meant a lot. And then he started snickering, his shoulders shaking with mirth. “You… you kept rejecting me… for me.” He breathed out in between burst of laughter. Marinette just gave him an unimpressed look. “Oh, come on, My Lady, this is hilarious! It’s like the worst kind of Love Square. I kinda want to cringe at the whole thing.”
She fought the urge to smile and just groaned. “Don’t you think we have better things to worry about right now?”
This seemed to sober him up. He chuckled a few more seconds before pulling himself together and grinning at her warmly, looking like she was the best thing in the world. From Chat Noir, the expression wasn’t anything new. Maybe a bit more intense. But knowing the guy under the leather mask was Adrien changed things. Sure, she was starting to fall for Chat – he has been there for her no matter what, how could she not? – but combined with her feelings towards Adrien, it was all a lot more meaningful and grounding. His affection towards her suddenly became all the more genuine and real. And, for the first time, she didn’t mind this look directed her way from Chat Noir.
Before she could drown in her own affection, Marinette went towards the door to her room, opening it and gesturing for Chat to enter the bedroom. He hesitated for less than a moment before smiling at her and following her orders without asking a thing. By the time she got in herself Chat Noir wasn’t around, but Adrien Agreste was looking around as if it was his first time there. Which… it wasn’t. Both Chat noir and Adrien have been around her room before and, come to think of it, almost every single time it was Chat Noir was embarrassing knowing it was actually Adrien.
But the love written on his face when he looked at her was enough to calm Marinette down. No matter what happened next, they had each other again. Whether they were Char Noir and Ladybug or Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng, it didn’t matter. They were going to be there for each other and they were going to deal with whatever Hawkmoth has in store for them.
Together. As Ladybug and Chat Noir. As Marinette and Adrien. As what’s always worked – a duo.