Work Text:
drip.
"Again."
drip.
"Again."
drip.
"AGAIN."
Mari, my hands hurt...
"AGAIN GOD DAMNIT"
I haven't slept in so long...
"Sunny..."
I haven't seen our friends in a long time either...
"Sunny, are you even trying?"
I am, big sis...
"You know what? Take a break. Come back when you're actually ready to practice."
Hardly suppressing both tears and collapsing on the spot, Sunny slowly shambles out of the room violin and bow in hand. The violin itself, a treasured gift from his friends and his one ticket to spend more time with Mari before she left for college, was now as bloodied as his hands and the spot where he stood in the music room. He sets the now crimson violin on a bench near the piano room door, and heads upstairs. Sunny at this point could barely stay awake, let alone move around. His legs had gotten stiff from staying still for so long, and his hands screamed in protest at the notion of touching the railings of the stairs, and then touching the cold doorknob to his room, making both a rich red in the process. While any other person would try to sleep after such a long time practicing, or maybe even bandage their hands after bleeding them over a violin, Sunny instead moved for the desk he and Mari shared. He reached out for his sketchbook, which was tragically unused for the past few weeks due to Mari’s ever increasing demand for perfection, and a pencil. Upon further inspection, it was one of Mari’s, earning a slight chuckle from Sunny.
His last note was to be written with his sister’s pencil.
He was done with life. Sunny had absolutely had it with all the practicing. Maybe it was his sleep deprivation speaking, or maybe it was his pure unadulterated contempt for the violin that he had shed blood sweat and tears for, but Sunny was tired . Not the tired that he could get from spending time with friends, and at this point not the tired that he acquired from standing with Mari for hours on end bar the berating that came after. He was tired of life itself, tired of how he could never be good enough to match his sister, tired of how his Mother did the bare minimum to keep him alive and his Father nothing at all. Sunny knew he wasn’t the golden child, nowhere near in fact. Despite this, he thought at least some affection could be spared for his existence, but apparently not. All of this, for 6 months straight . Sure it was somewhat enjoyable at first, but the 4-at-least months of relentless practice with no interaction outside Mari, and faux encouragement from his parents made Sunny want to sleep.
Not nap, not sleep for the night, sleep for good.
With that depressing thought train out of the way, Sunny makes his way downstairs with a sketchbook and pencil in hand. Barely landing on the first floor, he spots Mari leaning against the doorway to the piano room, arms crossed and foot tapping in expectancy.
“Where are you going? Your violin is right here, you know”
Sunny slightly motions toward the kitchen, a complete lie, but one that works nonetheless
“Haven’t you taken enough of a break as is? It's already been about 5 minutes!”
Sunny’s stomach answers that question, rather loudly in fact.
“...Fine. Get a potato from the fridge or something, but you better play that part perfectly once you’re back. The recital happens in 3 hours you know!”
Right, another reason to jump onto the tracks of the depressing thought train, I forgot the recital was even a thing. Beside that, it appears that going for food is taboo now. Oh well, it will be over soon anyway.
Feeling Mari’s stare on his back, Sunny moved through the kitchen, doubling back through the dining room as an all too familiar waltz started up again, missing the violin. He moves through the far side of the living room, cautious to stay from a sightline that could enable Mari to see him. He slowly opens the glass door to the backyard, stopping to pick up Mari’s jump rope, discarded when she got that bad knee from softball. Retreating further into the backyard, he found his safe space: the treehouse. ‘ Perfect for my last nap’ . Sunny moves around the base of the tree, finally finding the final piece to his sleep; a stepladder used for moving the wooden planks up so they could be nailed into place. The ladder is high enough to reach the branches of the treehouse, and the jumprope is 12 feet long. ‘Good enough for a small drop.’ Sitting atop the stepladder, he ties the noose the same way Basil taught him while hanging plants, figuring it was good enough to hang himself. He slips the noose over his head, positioning it right on the back of his head in order to disconnect the spinal cord from the skull, producing a quick and painless death. With the noose set, Sunny sets the sketchbook on his lap and gets his pencil, writing out a last note. ‘ Better get to writing ’ he thought ‘ I can take my time, nobody would care enough to come for me anyway. Not like they even tried to come for me to begin with. No worries for Mari either, I could hear the duet from here.’
Unfortunately for him, there was a certain black haired girl who cared. Not just the bare minimum, but who actually cared enough to come for him.
Aubrey was, supposedly, getting ready for a trip to the city to get her hair cut before eating lunch and meeting at the venue with the others. She would have rather stayed for longer, but the city barber was fully booked for anything past the time she was able to get, so her father and her simply decided to wait a little in the city, appearing at the recital with the others when the time came. All of that did not, however, prevent her from checking up on Sunny and Mari before anyone was even thinking of leaving. While it was primarily to see her most favorite boy in the world, Sunny, she did have the valid excuse of checking up on them. Afterall, who could not be concerned for them? They had scarcely gone out of their house for the past few weeks, and rarely for the past months. Hero and Kel could also swear he heard faint music starting at dawn and ending well into the night. Recently, Hero himself might have told Aubrey that the music never stopped for days on end, but he would rather not worry Aubrey.
That doesn’t matter, what matters is seeing Sunny checking up on the two siblings. Making her way to the door, which seemed to emanate a familiar duet without the violin, Aubrey firmly knocked 4 times: thrice in succession and the last after a small delay. After repeating the knock, which was unique to her so that her friends could discern who was knocking, Aubrey tests the door, finding it open. She moves through the empty living room, walking on the toes of her feet in order to not break the almost palpable tension looming. She notices the couch and dining room are neatly organized, as if having not been used for a
long
time. A slight breeze emanates from a slightly ajar glass door to the backyard, which is one of the few light sources in the entire room. Wanting to get out of the tension-filled room, she hastens her step into the adjoining hallway and into the doorway of the piano room. There she finds a very concentrated Mari at the piano, playing her side of the duet by hand and Sunny’s side by voice. Admiring the tune for a little while, Aubrey decides to speak up:
“Hey, Mari? How are you?”
“Hmm…ah, Aubrey? Why are you here?”
Mari does not bother to turn and face Aubrey, only speaking into the piano and window behind it. The latter half of the sentence devolves into a hiss, scaring the young girl.
“I-I just wanted to check on Su-you two, that's all I swear!”
“Ah, perfect timing then. Find Sunny for me, will you? I told him to come back in 5 minutes, but he’s late. ”
With the punctuality of the last word, Aubrey had to suppress running out of the room right then and there, opting to slowly back off until she had the doorway to the room in her peripheral vision. From there, Aubrey’s thoughts began to race on the short but tense interaction she just had with her big sister figure. ‘ Where is Sunny, why isn’t he practicing? And Mari, she seems a lot more tense than usual, maybe the stress of the recital is getting to her? If Mari is being affected this badly by the recital, how is Sunny faring…’ She decides to put those thoughts aside for the time being. ‘ Doesn’t matter, gotta find Sunny. Maybe his room?’ Walking two steps at a time, she gets halfway up the stairs before noticing the red on the banisters. She increases her speed, seeing that the doorknob to the sibling’s room is similarly coloured a faint maroon. With a slight mix of both panic and urgency, she twists and yanks the door while open, screaming Sunny’s name but finding the room empty. She, however, does notice a few scarlet marks on the desk in the room, not easing her fears. That being said, not finding anything bad outside the blood was more than relieving, though a missing Sunny by contrast wasn’t. Aubrey makes her way down the stairs again, calling to the piano room on her way down.
“Sunny’s not in his room, any idea where he is?”
“He told me he was getting food, try the kitchen.
“I passed the kitchen on my way in, any other ideas?
“I don’t know, just find him alright?”
Seeing as that conversation was getting nowhere, Aubrey moved back into the living room to try and collect her thoughts. That process was obscured, however, by the still laptable tension in the air threatening to suffocate her. The only respite from this was the slightly ajar door to the backyard that Aubrey saw from earlier. ‘ Wait a minute…’ The girl’s attention is called to the slightly ajar door, now noticing a few drops of red on the handle ‘It makes perfect sense! Sunny was getting stressed from the recital and probably wanted some fresh air! In that case, he should be at the treehouse, maybe I can talk to him and calm him down before the recital begins.’ With more positive thoughts than when she opened the bedroom door, Aubrey opens the sliding door and moves through, taking in the fresh air and sun. ‘A nice contrast to the inside. Now, to go find Sunny.’ Moving through the backyard, the young girl couldn’t help but feel a sense of pure dread when approaching the break in the trees that housed the treehouse. ‘Oh well, at least im getting Sunny out of this.’ Setting foot in the break, the girl cheerfully called out:
“Hey Sunny? You in the treehouse? Where are y-”
…
…
…
What?
Sunny was hanging from a strong branch that connected to the tree that supported the treehouse, maybe 3 or 3 ½ feet off the ground. He was completely limp, the muscles having completely relaxed to void of all movement outside the wind which was toying with his strung up body. Aubrey can only stare at the body, starting ground up, fearing whatever she may see. First the ground then, there is a note written on sketch paper, red on its fringes and on spots around the paper. Despite not having lines, the handwriting looks like a typewriter loaded with lead instead of ink. Almost surrounding the note was a ring of maroon spots on the ground. Next was the legs, Sunny was still in his home wear: simply socks and shorts. The feet were slightly tilted down, facing wherever the wind blew. Next was the torso: particularly the hands. As if Sunny’s strung up body was not enough, the left hand was almost entirely red: blood dripping from the fingers onto the ground and occasionally his foot. The source seemed to be the tip of the fingers, all of them having deep cuts, making Aubrey flinch but still hold stance out of fear. The cuts were deep enough that they would have left prominent scars if left to naturally heal, akin to the work of a knife. The right hand displayed calluses around the fingers that held the bow of a violin for hours on end, the fingers themselves having flexed into their long held and practiced position. Aside from the hand, everything seems unnaturally normal. Sunny’s homeware t-shirt was barely marked, and his arms were hanging limp at the sides facing outwards towards Aubrey allowing her the view of his hands.. The body altogether was inert save for the wind swaying it, leaving only a few more places for the eye.
…
The neck. The skin surrounding it is stretched and bruised by the jump rope, the handle resting behind Sunny’s left shoulder. The neck itself was snapped, disconnected from the rest of the body for an instant and painless death as planned. This, however, had an unintended effect: the eyes didn’t close. If Aubrey was terrified before, nothing could compare to this. Sunny’s empty eyes gazed right back at the girl, unmoving in death. Aubrey, in her pure panic, couldn’t identify the look in Sunny’s eyes. Was it sorrow? It was hard to even begin to think what would have driven him to this. Was it happiness or relief? Despite the looks of the situation, his eyes could be seen as relaxed: glad to finally receive the rest that was denied him. He did always look peaceful when he was sleeping. Wait, was it anger? His cold glare in death almost mimicked a judgemental stare, even his usually messy hair not daring to obscure the gaze. Was he mad at me for not coming for him earlier? Mad at us? No, no, no, no, no pleasepleaseplease don’t tell me Sunny died thinking we abandoned him pleasepleasepl-
“Hey, where are you Aubrey? You sure are taking your sweet time. Where’s Sunny? I need him back for practi-”
Both girls froze. Mari, having broken through the treeline, froze at the sight of Aubrey staring up at her brother. Aubrey, not even having time to register Sunny’s death, now had to try and think about how to deal with his own sister finding the body. By this moment, Aubrey was crying. How was she supposed to react to her best friend hanging!? Mari, for her part, could only stand in shock. ‘Sunny…why did you hang yourself? Was this my fault? Waitnononononononono this was my fault wasn’t it…’ In Aubrey’s combination of confused, angered, and saddened state, she wanted to do something; anything. She wanted to cry over Sunny, she wanted to scream at the world for taking him away. Instead, she moved towards the body with the only motive being to comfort Sunny in any way she could. With that, Aubrey chooses the one thing that always worked whether it was to her on the swings or to Sunny in the treehouse when Sunny wanted to run from his practice: a hug. Sunny, hanging the way he was, put her at eye level with his knees. That didn’t matter to the shocked girl, however, as anything to show Sunny that she cared about him worked. She wraps her arms around his shins, burying herself into whatever she can and letting the biblical flood’s worth of tears she was trying to hold back finally let loose. For a moment she could swear she felt someone wrapping their arms around her in response, before fading as fast as it came. She still doesn’t know a proper reaction, but this one will suffice for her. Nothing else in the world mattered anymore, not even the color of her surroundings. Only the sun that hung and shown above Aubrey would garner her full attention.
…
As time passed, more people arrived and more things happened. First was Hero, who came over with concern for Mari since she wasn’t answering the landline. He was planning something similar to Aubrey, cheering on Mari before her big moment after having gone out shopping, but he made the same mistake of breaking the treeline to the treehouse, finding the love of his life kneeling on the ground with a hollow stare, Aubrey still clinging on to Sunny as if for dear life, and Sunny himself. Sunny, Hero’s second little brother, Kel’s first friend and best friend, and primarily Mari’s younger brother. Eventually, Kel and Basil made it over. Kel was concerned with Hero not coming back from his shopping trip, the original plan to see Mari and return to Kel. Basil, on the other hand, was heading over to hang out with Sunny just a little bit before the recital. Both were not ready for the scene described above. Last of all were paramedics, called more out of formality than a remote chance Sunny was alive. To be fair to them, even if they had been called before Sunny hanged himself, it wouldn’t have made a difference. They tried to console the group, but nothing was going to help Aubrey’s shaking grip as she fought to keep Sunny, Hero and Mari’s dead stares into the core of the earth while on the ground leaning on each other for some form of support, and finally Kel consoling an extremely distraught Basil, forcing a smile for the sake of others. Eventually the group returned to the note, morbidly curious about yet simultaneously dreading Sunny’s last thoughts and words.
“I’m going to try keep this note brief, as I both do not have much to say and not much time to write.
First then to Mari, my beloved big sister. I took up the violin because I wanted to spend some time with you before you left for college, but recently I’ve taken it as a curse. I don’t blame you in any way, more myself by contrast. I was never good enough to match you, and I selfishly kept up that lie to the very end. At least your berating me allowed me to see that lie clearly and move to correct it. My last hope for you is that you can live your own life full of success, I know that Mom and Dad will definitely support you in that. I won’t weigh you down, and I always loved to listen to you play the piano anyway. Sorry for ruining your big recital.
Next to Hero. Please take care of Mari and the friend group. I know that this definitely will hurt in the moment, but I truth that you are mature enough to move on. Know I hold no regrets, and that I’m rooting for you and Mari. You and Mari have a bright future ahead, the both of you together. Please don’t let me weigh you down or separate the two of you.
Next for Kel. I don’t know how you managed it, but your optimism somehow broke through the shyness I had when I first met you. That’s why I trust you and your optimism to help the group move forward without me. Keep that smile on your face, don’t let me weigh you down any more than I have.
Next for Basil. Though I don’t think I could express it with words, I was always entranced by your talks about flowers. I can’t show you here, but I still remember the details of every flower that you told me about. That’s why I trust your virtue to look on the bright side of things to assist you in moving forward without me. I will neither weigh you down nor keep your time any further.
Finally, to Aubrey. Sorry that you will probably see me this way, but I want you to know that for the longest time I’ve had a big crush on you. Ask Basil, he can affirm it too. I’m also sorry over your home life, you told me on the swings so many times and I was too cowardly to do anything about it. Even now I'm taking the coward’s way out of my problems. I want you to know that everything is going to be okay, you can trust the group to help you more than I ever could, and I trust you to be able to move on with your life without my weight or inaction.
Signed, Sunny Suzuki.
drip.
“ hic… Why?...” Aubrey asks through sobs, the feeling of sunny still in her arms.
drip.
" I'm so sorry Sunny… " Mari mumbles to the ground, no more tears left to impede her speech.
drip.
" You should’ve spoken with us… " Hero says in a low voice, tired from consoling his friends.
drip.
"Why did you leave us Sunny…" Basil speaks distraughtly, standing by heavily leaning on Kel.
drip.
"..." Kel has no words to speak. He isn’t smiling, and grimly predicts he won’t for a long time.
drip.
It isn’t blood this time. It's the tears of a group torn apart by one grave discovery:
The sun hangs from a rope, and it’s watching over them all from above.