Chapter Text
6:34am
Sirius created a groupchat
Sirius named the groupchat: "gay wizards"
Bellatrix: this is why I don't show up to family gatherings sirius
Sirius: be so fr
Lily: stop being mean to your family
Sirius: no <3
Benjy: Sirius.
Remus: Sirius.
Sirius: my apologies, I'm deeply sorry Bellatrix 😔
Lily: Fucking simp
Sirius: says u
Lily: shut up you cunt
James: children stop arguing 😭
Lily: shut up James
Sirius: shut up James
Barty: Sirius, Lily, I'm outside of your common room with a knife.
James: my bad guys 💀
Evan: literally no one likes you, why did you add the people who don't
Pandora: I think Sirius is quite nice :)
Evan: sorry Sirius, you're okay
Peter: this GC is full of simps and I hate it
Narcissa: Sirius, are these people your friends? I only know a select few
Lily: who all do you know?
Narcissa: Well my cousins and my sisters, obviously. Amos, Arthur, Molly, Frank, Alice, Ted, Rodolphus, and Rabastan
Lily: Well then let's introduce ourselves!! Just everyone's name would be okay
Sirius: send ur prns too
Lily: yes that too!!
Lily: I'll start, I'm Lily Evans, and I go by she/her!!!
Sirius: Sirius Black, obv, and any prns r ok ;)
Benjy: My names Benjy Fenwick and idc what pronouns you use for me
Pandora: Pandora Lovegood, she/they!
Evan: I'm evan rosier he/him
Evan: he/she
Evan: he/they
Evan: nvm I don't know
Peter: peter pettigrew, I use they/he
Amos: he
Arthur: my name is Arthur Weasley! The pronouns I use are he/him and they/them!
Molly: erm I'm molly prewett, the girl ones I guess
Frank: she/he, Frank Longbottom
Alice: Alice fortescue and I use she/her!!
Ted: I'm Ted or Teddy Tonks, I use she/they
Andromeda: Andromeda Black, she/her.
Rodolphus: Rodolphus Lestrange, I use the ones for men.
Rabastan: im Rabastan Lestrange and i use he/him
Barty: I'm Barty Crouch and I use she/they
Regulus: Regulus Black he/him
James: IM JAMES POTTER AND I USE HE/SHE/THEY;!!!!!!;!!
Lucius: lucius malfoy he she
Emmeline: my last name is Vance, and I use they/she, thank you :)
Remus: Remus lupin, he/they
Marlene: she/her!!! my name is Marlene McKinnon!!!!
Mary: it's mary macdonald and I use she/her
Dorcas: Dorcas Meadowes, They/Them.
Xenophilius: xenophilius malfoy and i use they them
Gideon: Gideon Prewett and I use he/him
Fabian: fabuan Peeweyt snd I yse ge)hin
Gideon: translation: "Fabian prewett and I use he/him"
Kingsley: just Kingsley, it's he/him
Bellatrix changed her name to Bella
Bella: why are there so many bloodtraitors, mixed-breeds and mudbloods here Sirius
Narcissa: Bella!
Bella: my bad, muggleborns and half-bloods, you know our family would kill you if they found out
Sirius: I'm already disowned so who cares
Bella: no one, I suppose
Barty: Its not like pureblood families are much happier than bloodtraitor or muggleborn families, I quite literally want to brutally murder my father.
Regulus: I'm almost positive everyone in this group-chat has some sort of familial issue, love
Barty: good point
Lily: I hate gay people.
Alice: Rich coming from you, sweetheart
Lily: akan([`=€[¢[n+#(3!&!#+"7b;$!$(($jjnejw
Frank: are you okay? 😨
Lily: yea ik gteat
Barty: get a grip, Evans
Evan: I need to de-stress
Barty: by doing what?
Evan: destroying the common room
Barty: oh
Regulus: I'm way too sober for this
Pandora: Are you okay, Regulus? If you need someone to talk about what you might be sober from, you can always talk to me! :)
Regulus: pandy it was a joke, but thanks
Sirius: whatever do you mean, "sober", dear brother?
Regulus: I'm sober, and I feel as though I'd be able to handle this situation better if I wasn't.
James: will you guys leave Reg the fuck alone about it????
Barty: yeah what the fuck????
Evan: I'm going to change the subject, who all is going to the Slytherin/Gryffindor quidditch match today?
James: all of you better be 💅🏽
Bella: Well I'm playing in it, so obviously
Andromeda: I'm only going to support Bella, Reg, and Siri
Narcissa: Same
Pandora: I'm going!!
Sirius: I'm playing 😘
James: me, Sirius, Lily, Alice, and Marlene are on the team
Dorcas: me and Mary are going to support Marls
Mary: ^
Regulus: Merde
Regulus: Merde
Regulus: Merde
Regulus: Merde
Sirius: what's wrong reg?
Regulus: je suis putain de désavoué
Barty: ik he's stressed but like wtf is he saying
Sirius: none of your fucking business for the time being, Crouch, fuck dude
Barty: I'm gonna let that slide cuz I'm worried
Sirius: Régulus, que s'est-il passé ? Qu'est-ce qui a bouleversé maman et papa ? Comment avez-vous trouvé?
Bellatrix: you realize every Black in this chat is reading your messages, correct?
Frank: I also could, but I don't want to invade
Sirius: I don't give a fuck.
Regulus: Le professeur Slughorn a dit à maman que je suis gay
Regulus: puis elle a dit à papa
Sirius: Écoute, tu peux rester avec moi et James cet été si tu ne peux pas aller au manoir. Vous êtes toujours la bienvenue.
James: I see my name
James: and I can vaguely read this
James: what's going on?
James: or nvm, tell me later, oui, il peut rester avec nous, maman ne s'en souciera pas
Lily: YOU SPEAK FRENCH?
James: A BIT??? OBVIOUSLY????
James: I LIVE WITH SIRIUS BLACK WHY WOULDNT I PICK UP SOME
Lily: IDK FUCK YOU
James: FUCK YOU TOO THEN
Regulus: I'm okay
Regulus: idk why I texted this group-chat first
Regulus: when I couldve just texted Sirius lololoolololo
Regulus: but it's good 💯
Barty: I'm gonna have a fucking aneurysm
Barty: my dad's gonna kill me #quirky
James: what happened? are you at home? are you okay? do you need to come over?
Barty: my dad found my social media 🥰
Barty: said I need to stop "parading myself like I'm a girl" 😍
Barty: and I said, "IM NOT EVEN A GIRL?"
Barty: and he was like, "then stop acting like a fairy!!" and then he tried to crucio me lololoool I ran away
Marlene: no offense, but why does everyone in this fucking chat have daddy and/or mommy issues
Barty: we're all gay
Amos: I'm not?!?!?
Bella: The egg just hasn't cracked yet for you amos
Amos: what does that even mean ?!?!?!!?!?!