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Shen Jiu looked around his prison. He sighed as the chains rattled above him and steady roar of the waterfall filled his ears. At least that beast hadn’t come to finish him off. Yet.
But to him, that would’ve been better than living in this hell. No arms, no legs, no tongue, and blind in one eye. A hell of his own making.
Qi-Ge, please don’t come for me. Just this one time, please don’t come.
He knew the plans of the beast were ones to ruin him and the sect. He knew that once Yue Qingyuan came, everything would be useless. It would be the downfall of Cang Qiong Mountain and quite possibly all the cultivation world.
Qi-Ge, I miss you. Please...
I never blamed you for anything. I just wanted you to come back.
How long he had been here, he did not know. Just then, the door opened. He hissed and looked away from the light.
“Shizun...” Lord Luo said as he walked in. The black and red of his robes rustled. Being the only sound in the cold cell. He stopped in front of the broken man that was once his Shizun. One he would do anything for once upon a lifetime ago. “I have a present for you...”
He threw down the remnants of a familiar sword. The once gleaming black steel of Xuan Su was shattered and dull.
Shen Qingqiu let out a loud wail and couldn’t contain his tears anymore. He cried and thrashed. Cursing out the boy through gnashed teeth. Though what came out were garbled sounds. He wailed with a broken heart.
Meanwhile, the demon just grinned haughtily. His eyes glinting like rubies in the darkness. “I hope you enjoy your reunion, Shizun.”
He laughed darkly as he turned to leave the cell.
Qi-Ge! No! Everything shattered for Shen Qingqiu in that moment. He let out a weary sob as he struggled with the chains and fell to the ground.
In his next life, he would do better. In his next life, he would find his Qi-Ge and tell him...
*****
Shen Qingqiu blinked as his vision returned to him. He had been in darkness for so long, he had forgotten how to see.
He froze as a sense of déjà vu rolled over him. He was staring at the wild and furious face of a qi deviating Liu Qingge.
He beat up the other man and slammed his spiritual energy into Liu Qingge’s back. The other man cried out as he thrashed about like a furious bear. Looking for Cheng Luan.
“I am sorry, Shidi.” He said with regret. Hoping he did not kill the other man. Even though he said it so often, everyone thought it was true.
If he killed this man, there would be no hope of keeping Yue Qingyuan alive. Nor any hope of keeping the sect alive.
It took a leg swipe to knock Liu Qingge down. Though he was still thrashing and snarling like a rabid animal, Shen Qingqiu was able to pin him.
“Calm down you fool.” He hissed without heat and trying to keep his voice even.
He pressed his hands against Liu Qingge’s chest and sent soothing qi into his meridians. Hoping that he hadn’t killed the man this time as Liu Qingge calmed down and went to sleep.
Yue Qingyuan was the only thing on his mind. He had to get to him before he went down the mountain.
He checked Liu Qingge’s pulse. As soon as he found one, he fled out of the Lingxi caves.
He surveyed the peaceful world. The battle had not started yet with the demons and so, Qi-Ge must be still in his office.
He rushed there, hoping he wasn’t too late.
“What can I do for you, Xiao Jiu?”
He stared at the warm and gentle smile of the man he admired most in the world. Seeing him broke something in Shen Qingqiu.
This time, he did not correct the calling of his name. Instead, he ran to Yue Qingyuan and hugged him. Shaking and nuzzling into his body.
“Qi-Ge...”
Yue Qingyuan stiffened before patting him on the head. “There there, what’s gotten into my Shidi for him to act so strangely.”
“You idiot!” Shen Jiu slammed the side of his fist into Yue Qingyuan shoulder. “You idiot! Why did you always have to come too late!? Why couldn’t you have just left me for dead!? Why did, why did you have to die and leave me forever!?”
“Huh!? But I never died. I’m right here, aren’t I?”
“I never blamed it on you. I blamed myself for being so weak.”
“Xiao Jiu, are you okay? You aren’t having another qi deviation are you?”
“No you big fool!” Shen Jiu hissed and shook his head. “I... Thank you...”
“You’re welcome?”
It was understandable why Yue Qingyuan was confused. After all, he had always treated this man coldly. Kept him at arms length. Afraid that if he got too close the other man would leave him again. Disappear and never return.
“Did something happen? Why are you like this?” And then Yue Qingyuan froze. “It has been a long time since you were this sticky. Too long.”
“You utter moron! You died trying to rescue me! Even after I told you I wasn’t worth it. That something so... Broken... Isn’t worth it...”
Shen Qingqiu renewed his sobs and beat the man with the side of his fist. Recalling the pain he felt. The wishing he could be saved. There was nothing anyone could do after Lord Luo was done with him.
“But to me...” All Yue Qingyuan could do was hold him. “...My Xiao Jiu is worth any pain.”
“Even your death?”
“I would walk through hell and back for you. I already have.”
“I know.” Shen Qingqiu dabbed his eyes with the edge of his sleeve so they wouldn’t redden too much. “Qi-Ge will always come back for me. Even if he has to go through hell.”
He hated to admit it, but his Qi-Ge did go through hell. Though he never said anything, it was disquieting how calm and soothing he became. Even though he decided not to save Shen Jiu in the end.
Yue Qingyuan possibly thought it would tame the frostiness out of him. But this served to be even more of a heartbreak for him.
“Shen-Shidi, sit down. Are you sure you aren’t having some sort of qi deviation? Should I get Mu-Shidi to come and make sure everything is alright?”
“I’m fine.” Shen Qingqiu sat down on the empty couch for visitors into the room and balled his hands together. “I’m fine...”
...I am a peak lord after all. I can not afford to show weakness...
“Xiao...!”
“Don’t call me that!”
“You’re afraid of something. I can help.”
“Hold me.” It came out as coarse and raspy. Thin and so unlike the venomous tongue he could have.
Yue Qingyuan didn’t allow him to take it back. Instead, Shen Qingqiu found himself surrounded by the warm comfort.
He closed his eyes and for a brief moment, they were children again. Huddled in a little hovel after Xiao Jiu had been beaten up by his fellow slaves.
They took his begging spot and left him with bruises. When Qi-Ge found out, they shared a stale pork bun and hugged each other. Wondering what they were going to do.
It was these moments that made him realize how fragile and vulnerable he was.
He opened his eyes and stared back at the man who would be his partner forever. Back before that demon cultivator. Back before Qiu Luo.
This man still came. He may have been late, but he still came.
“Where is that stiff peak lord I know? The one with all his biting remarks and lofty iciness.” Yue Qingyuan teased with a light grin.
He stared up at Yue Qingyuan in wonder. Who turned his grin into a polite smile and nod.
Knowing what he was implying, a switch flipped in Shen Qingqiu’s brain.
“Zhangmen-Shixiong.” Shen Qingqiu recoiled and flipped out his fan to hide his blush. “You would do well to forget this ever happened.”
Yue Qingyuan snickered. “I think not. But still, it is nice that my Xiao Jiu is still in there somewhere and willing to rely on this one for something. Now, I believe this is for you.”
Yue Qingyuan pushed a hair stick toward Shen Qingqiu. It was finely crafted white jade with light green jade beads hanging off it. The stick itself was adorned in the finest rose gold designs.
Another bobble to appease him. Another useless apology that he didn’t need.
“I was going to bring it to you once you got out of the Lingxi Caves, but here you are.”
“Meaningless.”
But still, he picked it up and left Cang Qiong Peak to return to his bamboo hut.
There, outside was the little beast. He recoiled when he saw Shen Qingqiu.
“Come inside little beast and fix me some of that wretched tea you are always so fond of making.”
“Yes, Shizun.” He bowed as Shen Qingqiu went inside.
Shen Qingqiu stared down at the newest hair stick. Twirling it in a hand. It really was gorgeous, but no matter.
“Do you know how to do another’s hair?” He pushed the stick toward the little beast.
Luo Binghe trembled slightly as he poured the tea. Spilling some outside the cup. “Ye-yes, Shizun.”
“Mmh, then can you put this in this master’s hair?”
“Yes! Shizun!” He chirped and got right to it.
After having gone through what he went through, Shen Qingqiu nearly smiled at the bright eyed youth. One so eager to please that it hurt to remember they were so similar once and still were.
“Does this please you?”
When Shen Qingqiu looked at himself in the hand mirror, he shook his head.
Useless. Why do they spend so much time on such a hated monster like himself? One destined for ruin.
But instead of saying this, he turned to the little beast and drank the tea offered to him.
“You, have gotten better.” He sipped the tea. Taking in its delicate aroma and soft, but still bitter, taste. It needed to be sweeter. Perhaps he could teach the boy what he liked.
“This disciple thanks Shizun for his kind words.”
“Mmh. I would very much like you to stay nearby.”
That way, he could keep an eye on the boy’s growth and curb his demonic tendencies. And that way, he could better protect him from the others once his demonic seal was released.
“Shizun?”
“You will not become the Peak Lord of Qing Jing mountain, but if helping me pleases you, then I will not protest.”
“This disciple thanks Shizun very much!” He chirped brightly again and left the bamboo hut.
As Shen Qingqiu picked up the hand mirror. He smiled and flipped a lock of hair behind his ear. It was a lonely smile and one he would never allow others to see.
After all, he was the vain, icy, and lofty scum peak lord of Qing Jing mountain.
And perhaps this time he could save the life of the man closest to his heart. The one who he gave it to so many years ago.
“Qi-Ge, thank you. Even if you are an utter fool...”
*****
Yue Qingyuan sat at his desk. He tapped some papers, but he couldn’t get his mind off the disheveled man who came flying into his office and...
And...
Calling him Qi-Ge.
He swallowed and leaned back.
When was the last time he had called him Qi-Ge?
He had abandoned him to a terrible fate. He knew this. But he wasn’t really wrong when he said he walked through hell for him.
Being sealed in the Lingxi Caves was the worst kind of hell for him.
Trying to get out for a year to save his Xiao Jiu. Each time his heart demons flaring up, causing excruciating pain and stilted flow of his meridians.
Pain and anguish was all he knew for a year. A year of crying out for someone to save him so he could save his own beloved person.
Yue Qingyuan stared at his papers. Seeing them, and yet, not seeing them.
“Xiao Jiu... If only...”
“...I didn’t blame you...” These words echoed in his mind. Even though the face he saw back then had a look of pure hatred and loathing. He never truly blamed him for it.
“Xiao Jiu...” He rubbed the tears out of his eyes. If he went to the man now, what would he say? What would he do? Would he even care?
Instead of going to the man, he pushed away the feeling and went back to his peak lord duties.
*****
Five days later, he was walking around his peak and listening to the disciples talk amongst themselves.
“Did you hear?”
“No, what?”
“I heard, Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu has become milder to his own disciples and has that one disciple doing things for him.”
Yue Qingyuan froze and stared the duo as they continued to practice their own sword skills while gossiping.
Shen Qingqiu has become milder?
This he had to see for himself.
It didn’t take long for him to leap on his sword and fly to Qing Jing Peak.
He stopped and watched from a distance.
Shen Qingqiu was sitting outside and playing the guqin for the students. His eyes were closed and the boy he hated and bullied the hardest was sitting the closest. Sitting at rapt attention and watching his fingers move.
His white and green robes shining in the sunlight. Though, that wasn’t the thing that caught his attention.
The hair stick he gave him recently was gleaming brightly under his crown like part of a halo.
He could only watch enraptured.
When was the last time he looked so peaceful?
“Xiao Jiu...”
He turned around and fled. Determined to come back later and ask about it. Even if he was curtly dismissed and told to leave.
*****
Later that night, he was knocking on the door to the little bamboo hut.
It didn’t take long for Shen Qingqiu to open the door.
“What does Zhangmen Shixiong want at this hour?” He asked with a tired voice. Though his eyes were alert and cold.
“Xiao Jiu? May I come inside.”
“Alright.” He flipped out a fan and covered his face while stepping to the side.
Yue Qingyuan stepped inside and looked around. It was still the same as before.
“So, what have you come for?” Shen Qingqiu asked again while pouring tea.
“You were wearing that hair stick, earlier. May I ask why?”
Shen Qingqiu froze mid pour. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Yes you do.”
“Mmh.”
“Did you really not blame me for what happened all those years ago?”
Shen Qingqiu sighed as he put the teapot down.
He took his fan out again and covered his face. “No, I did not. Though I hated that you never gave an explanation as to why. I thought you had abandoned me.”
Yue Qingyuan was taken aback. The flush on his Shidi’s face was so adorable. And the fact he admitted what he did.
“Xiao Jiu!” He couldn’t stop the feeling of happiness and relief from leaking out.
He hugged Shen Qingqiu just then. Holding him tighter than he ever did before. Even when they were kids and huddled against each other for warmth.
“Qi-Ge. You are an utter fool for not seeing that before now...”
Though he insulted him, Shen Qingqiu’s words weren’t cold. For the first time, his words were warm and not biting.
And he held him back.
“I really am an utter fool.” He drew back. His vision blurry with tears as he looked at the man he should have protected all those years ago. “I love you Xiao Jiu, I always have. And I will never leave you again unless I ascend.”
Shen Qingqiu smiled with a nod. Unable to say anything.