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Late night knocks on the door made Olivia nervous. She had heard on more than one occasion that nothing good arrived late at night, and maybe she had been a cop too long to deny there was something to that old adage. So when she answered the door after eleven at night, she was cautious. Standing on her tiptoes, she peered through the peephole and was surprised to find a casually-dressed assistant district attorney standing outside of her apartment.
“Barba,” she greeted as she opened the door. “It’s late. Is everything okay?”
“Liv, I’m sorry for bothering you at this hour.” He looked tired, anxiety darkening his green eyes. “Can I come in for a minute?”
“Sure,” Olivia said, instantly. The look in his eye and slump of his shoulders sparked concern within her. “Noah is in bed.”
“I know it’s coming up on midnight,” he said as he walked in. “But I needed…a friendly ear, I guess.” He sighed and scrubbed his face with his hand. “Honestly, I don’t know what I need.”
Concerned, Olivia touched his arm. “Give me your coat and sit down,” she said. “You look dead on your feet.”
“It’s been a long evening.” Obediently, Barba shrugged out of his ski jacket and collapsed onto her sofa. “I...” He trailed off, pausing to gather his thoughts. “I just left my mom.”
Olivia perched on the edge of the coffee table. “Is she okay?”
“Not really,” he replied. “She went to my abeulita’s apartment this evening to help her go through some of her things and…well, she found her…”
She closed her eyes and blew out a breath. “Oh, Rafa. I am so sorry. What happened?”
Rafael propped his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “She didn’t want to leave her apartment,” he said simply. “She fought it, got angry with me, argued with me, and said she wanted to die in her own home.” He smiled bitterly up at his friend. “And so, she did just that.” He swallowed hard. “She was a stubborn old woman.”
Olivia reached over and squeezed his hand. “A trait she seemed to have passed on to her grandson,” she observed, quietly.
He looked away. “And because her grandson inherited a huge helping of that, he couldn’t let it go and let her stay where she wanted. He just had to have it his way, and now she’s…” Barba took a deep, shuddering breath and looked at the floor.
“Hey,” Olivia said, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. “This is not your fault.”
“Wasn’t it?” He looked up at her. “I pushed her. She told my mom and me both that she didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay at home. I wouldn’t listen to her.” He stood up and began pacing. “My mom wanted to quit her job and move in with Abuelita to take care of her, and I told her no.”
“Why?” She watched him pace. “If she wanted to…”
“Mammi works twelve-hour days at that charter school, keeping it alive because she loves it.” He sighed and shook his head. “If she had quit? Retired? I would have lost her.”
“You were looking out for both of them,” Olivia argued. She stood and strode around to the kitchen. Taking two wine glasses out of the cabinet, she retrieved a half-empty bottle of red from the fridge and poured them both a glass. “Short of moving your grandmother in with you, what else could you have done?”
“I could have done that,” he replied, accepting the glass. “I could have moved her into my place and hired someone to sit with her during the day.”
“Barba–and I mean this with all the love and affection in the world–you are more of a workaholic than your mother,” Liv said flatly. “Your grandmother would have been lonely, miserable, and still resenting you for taking her away from her home.”
“I hear you. I do.” He took a sip of the wine and then stared into it. “I just…”
“You still feel guilty.” Liv sat next to him on the sofa and patted his knee. “I said it earlier, Rafael: you are a good grandson. And a good son.”
He bit his lip, and her heart twisted for her friend when she saw him swallow hard to fight back the tears. “No, I’m not,” he said softly. “If I were, Abuelita would still be here.”
“Rafa…” Olivia set aside her glass and pulled him into an embrace. He didn’t resist, and rested his chin on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry for dumping this on you,” he said, pulling back and wiping away stray tears. “I just…” He looked down and let out a bitter snort. “I didn’t have anyone else.”
“You are my best friend, Rafael Barba,” she replied. “I want to be there for you.” She smiled, patting his cheek. “Who else am I going to squabble with when I’m eighty-five?”
He chuckled. “Aren’t we a pair?”
“Maybe you should try dating,” she suggested with a grin.
He shot her a dubious look and retrieved his wine from the coffee table. “If I don’t have time to take care of my elderly grandmother when she needs it, where am I going to find time to date?”
“So, no interest?” Liv asked. “Or no time?”
“No time. The interest is there. It’s been…” He paused to consider it. “God, way longer than I would like to admit.” He looked over at her. “But who is going to put up with the hours I put in at the office? For that matter, besides people at work, who do I see?”
“Anyone particular you’re interested in?” Her tone was innocent.
He pinned her with a withering look and took another sip of his wine, but she didn’t miss the flush that crept into his cheeks.
Her eyes widened and jaw dropped. “There is?”
This time he refused to meet her eyes, and the flush grew brighter.
“Spill it,” she commanded.
“I think it’s time I go home,” he said, setting his glass down. “It’s getting late.”
“Oh no!” she countered, laughing. “You aren’t dodging my questions, Counselor.”
“Seriously, thank you for listening to me tonight.” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck. “I still feel incredibly guilty, but…having a friendly ear helps.” He smiled softly. “Thanks.”
“I will always be here for you.” She hugged him when they both stood. “If you – or your mother – need anything at all, I’m here for you.” Pulling back, she held his arms and smiled. “And you know the rest of the squad will be if you need them, too.”
“I am grateful for you all,” he said, taking her hands and squeezing them. He kissed her cheek. “Tell Noah I said hi, and he owes me a pancake breakfast date.”
Olivia walked him to the door and bade him goodnight, sighing as she bent to pick up toddler toys and books scattered all over the floor. She wouldn’t sleep well that night, worrying about her friend and the heavy guilt hanging over him. What made it worse was knowing that Rafael had been honest – he didn’t have anyone else. His mother and grandmother were the only family he had remaining, and now his beloved grandmother was gone.
She picked up Eddie the Elephant and hugged him, mentally sending the energy and love to Rafael. “One day,” she murmured, “you’ll find someone, Rafa. I promise.”