relatively_einstein



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Cards on the table. Montréal is a good fucking hockey team. They’re also homophobic sacks of shit, and you just outed yourself to the whole world as not only queer, but in love with a Boston Raider.”

    In which Stéphanie Mathieu pulls off the heist of the century, and founds a hockey dynasty along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,383
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    74
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    27 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Bood:
    Have you looked through our schedule yet?

    Rozanov:
    Shane is dissecting it now
    I know better than to interrupt calendar time
    Or I won’t get my reward

    Bood:
    Not touching that
    Look at our first road day off

    Rozanov:
    Are we going to be stuck in Winnipeg for three days again?
    I will sue

    Hollander:
    Oh God

    Rozanov:
    What???

    Bood:
    We have a day and a half off in Las Vegas
    On Halloween
    Y’all are sorting out the bail funds right? With all that endorsement money

    Hollander:
    Maybe it won’t be that bad?
    Our guys party a lot less than the rest of the league

    Rozanov:
    You have met Bergy and Young, yes?

    Bood:
    Don’t forget Pointy
    And Dillon
    Honestly Haasy could be a wild card too
    Rozanov:
    Do not worry Shane
    Will be good practice for having kids, yes?
    Drunk hockey players are just large toddlers

    Hollander:
    It’s going to be a nightmare

    Bood:
    Lmao yep we’re so cooked 😂

    ______

    OR

    The Centaurs have a night off in Las Vegas on Halloween. It goes about as well as one would expect. Told through group chats and social media posts

    Language:
    English
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    3,032
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
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    2,060
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    253
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    11,507

    27 Aug 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Luca Haas would like to state for the record that this is all Harris' fault.

    or: the centaurs do the planking til failure trend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,466
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    1,735
    Bookmarks:
    210
    Hits:
    10,326

    27 Aug 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    29,568
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    274

    27 Aug 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Bella broke up with JJ.”

    Shane stopped dead. He swore the temperature in the kitchen dropped two degrees. “What? Noooooooo.” The neck of his T-shirt was suddenly too tight. He curled a finger in the elastic and pulled. Air. He needed air.

    Hayden’s voice was lowered to a frightened whisper, “We’re Code Red, buddy. Code fucking Red.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,116
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    163
    Kudos:
    3,367
    Bookmarks:
    484
    Hits:
    21,070

    26 Aug 2026