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It had taken MC a few months to really settle into RAD and start making their own friendships. They knew they'd really made it though when they started hearing RAD cafeteria gossip from people other than Asmodeus.
The RAD cafeteria was an absolute treasure trove of salacious scuttlebutt, titilliating titbits and risqué rumours.
If Asmo was the queen of cafeteria gossip then Mephistopheles was the king. The RAD newspaper editor was regularly found, notebook and pen in hand, lurking in odd places. Not that he'd ever admit to something as crass as eavesdropping.
This week MC had found they were up for some questioning. While sharing lunch with some of their demon friends, MC had innocently let slip that last weekend they'd been invited to share afternoon tea in the Palace gardens. This had led to a meaningful silence and shared knowing looks around the table.
"What?" asked MC.
Eris, looking first left and then right, checking for Mephistopheles and other eavesdroppers, leant across the table and said in a low whisper, "The Palace garden or the Palace garden ?"
MC looked uncertain. "Er, the place around the Palace? With the trees and the plants and stuff? We were in the gazebo if that helps any."
There was a collective sigh of disappointment. "So not the Prince's Secret Garden then?" asked Azrael, still a little hopeful.
Clementine shook her head, "Nope, if MC was in the gazebo that's still the formal garden, no secrets there."
"Wait," said MC, eyes suddenly alight with interest. "The Palace has a secret garden?"
"We think so," nodded Eris vigorously, "Everyone says so."
"Where is it?" asked MC. "What's it like?"
"Nobody knows," said Azrael gloomily. "It's a secret. For all we know it doesn't even exist."
"Of course it exists," said Clementine scornfully. "It's just full of secret things - that's why it's kept hidden."
MC was quiet for a moment, thinking, then said, "What kind of secrets would a demon put in a garden anyway? I mean if it was in the Mortal Realm I'd wonder if he was growing drugs or something but that's just ordinary gardening in the Devildom."
It was indeed true that MC had been slightly taken by surprise when attending their first homegrown market in the Devildom to discover that along with strawberry cupcakes, tomato pickles and cucumber relish, demon grannies were selling homemade marijuana and cheddar scones. It hadn't taken long for MC to adjust though. With the addition of a hardboiled egg and a slice of ham, the scones made for an excellent and relaxing lunch.
"Hmm," Eris thought for a moment. "There are some aphrodisiac plants that are on the forbidden lists. Maybe it's a secret sex garden?"
"Prince Diavolo's Secret Sex Garden," mused MC and then giggled.
"No really!" insisted Eris, conspiratorially leaning across the table again. "Just imagine, he invites Lord Lucifer up to the Palace a lot . . ."
Four pairs of eyes speculatively watched the First Lord of the Devildom as he stood quietly in line at the cafeteria counter. Everyone suddenly looked incredibly flushed.
"Phew," said Azrael, fanning himself for a moment. "You have to find it MC, you've got the best chance out of any of us. Prince Diavolo's Secret Sex Garden."
"I can't do that!" squeaked MC in protest. "I can't be that nosy."
"Just imagine," said Clementine dreamily. "What if the Prince invites you too, along with Lord Lucifer?"
Again four pairs of eyes watched the Avatar of Pride as he carried his lunch over to a nearby table and started to eat an egg and cress sandwich. Everyone still looked incredibly flushed.
"I really don't think that's going to happen," murmured MC, fanning themselves. "I'll see what I can find out though."
Truth be told, MC was intrigued. The idea of a secret garden, even if it contained nothing particularly contraband, was such a romantic notion that it couldn't help but appeal to them.
And yet, there were no answers to be found.
MC knew there was no point in asking Mephistopheles. If Mephistopheles knew about Diavolo's secret garden then he'd either run it as a newspaper article or he'd keep the Prince's secrets. Since it hadn't run as an article then it was reasonable to conclude that if he actually knew he wouldn't tell MC anything.
Turning to Asmo hadn't been any help at all. It turned out he knew all about the rumour of course, but had no idea if it were true.
"Asmo, have you heard anything at all about the Palace gardens?" MC asked
"Oooh! You mean Diavolo's Secret Sex Garden?" Asmo's eyes lit up, the prettiest apricot glow highlighting his perfect features and somehow rendering them even more perfect.
"Have you heard something?" the Avatar of Lust demanded. "I have to know if it's true or not. He calls Lucifer up there a lot you know . . ."
MC just slapped their forehead at this point and wandered off to think some more.
Could they ask Lucifer? No, definitely not! If it turned out it really was a secret sex garden full of aphrodisiac plants MC didn't think they could bear the amused smirk they just knew Lucifer would wear for the rest of their stay in the Devildom.
Barbatos perhaps? Might they be able to ask the butler? But no, he was loyal to a fault and would always keep the Young Master's secrets.
Thinking some more, MC realised they knew exactly who to ask. There was only one person in the Devildom who valued honesty and truthfulness, was straightforward and not pretentious, and would also know the answer.
***
The next weekend MC headed up to the Palace, again invited for afternoon tea with the Prince. Sitting in the gazebo, MC waited for Barbatos to finish pouring the tea and for Diavolo to dismiss his butler back to his other duties.
Then they leant forward and said "I don't like being nosy, but I have heard a lot of rumours and I'd really like to ask you a question."
Diavolo grinned, amused by the human's antics. "Go ahead," he invited.
"Do you really have a secret garden here at the Palace?"
"Oh my! Do I ever!" he exclaimed, suddenly excited. "Barbatos makes me promise never to show anyone. He says demons would never understand - but since you're human I’m sure you’ll love it. Just remember, you have to keep it a secret.”
Grabbing MC by the hand, the excitable demon prince led them to a small walled patch of garden. It was a discreet and unobtrusive wall, nicely espaliered with a variety of fruiting plants. Peeking from side to side, ensuring his butler wasn’t about to discover them, Diavolo took a large ornate brass key from his pocket. He lifted a branch, uncovering a small green door and carefully turned the key in the lock
MC was thrilled. Aphrodisiac plants or not, this was exactly the beauty and romance they were looking for in a secret garden.
Diavolo turned back to MC. “Now close your eyes,” he instructed, and taking their hand he gently led them forward through the hidden door.
“Now, open.”
MC blinked.
And then stared.
They could understand why Barbatos wanted to keep this a secret.
Hundreds of pink lawn flamingos stared back, seeming to fix their black plastic beady eyes on MC.
Several brightly coloured plaster garden gnomes made extremely rude gestures, although this was probably better than the gnomes that were mooning people, not to mention what the gnome in the trenchcoat was doing.
“My secret garden,” said Diavolo proudly. “What do you think?”