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By any rights, Yennefer's house should look much more witchery than this, Jaskier thinks as they push the small garden gate. The white-washed walls and the tame front garden don't let on any clue to the sheer power of the two women who live there. They're both actual witches, a fact that did shock Jaskier quite a bit when they first heard of it, if only because they would never have pegged Geralt as the type to marry a pagan witch. It was at the very start of their friendship, long before they got together, and Jaskier understood much better when they actually met Yennefer.
Because that woman is far from the stereotypical ethereal and borderline cultist witches Jaskier had in mind. That definition fits Triss, Yennefer's partner, somewhat better, but even with her, Jaskier's hasty assumptions were quickly corrected. Triss is one of the kindest people Jaskier knows, but also one of the most quietly efficient. She's a licenced physical therapist, and her online full-body care program is wildly popular and incredibly good, as Jaskier themself can attest.
Yennefer's witch practice is more of a hobby, as she otherwise works full-time in the mayor's office as a political advisor, though Geralt did tell Jaskier that she's tiring of the constant drama and thinking about shaking things up. Jaskier refuses to even imagine what "shaking things up" might mean for someone as scary as her.
"What can I do for you, Jaskier?" Yennefer welcomes them in, dressed as always in a perfectly pressed and just a tad daring knee-length dress.
That's a very good question, one that Jaskier is currently asking themself as they walk in behind her. The inside of the house ressembles her, neat and tastefully furnished, Scandinavian style. Jaskier can spot a few of Triss's more homely touches in the fluffy rug under the coffee table and the mismatched mugs behind a glass cabinet door, but they look almost comically out of place.
Yennefer leads them to the couch, black leather on a chrome frame. The absolute opposite of Jaskier's own taste. They wonder briefly how Triss and Ciri can stand it, especially Ciri who is right at that age where picking up her clothes off the floor seems like an agonizing waste of time. Does Yennefer make her keep her room in this same state of perfection?
"Tea? Coffee? I probably have some of Ciri's sodas, if that's your thing," Yennefer drawls. In her mouth, it sounds like an insult, but it has the merit of wrenching Jaskier from their distracted thoughts.
"Tea would be great," they force a smile. Then, more cheekily, "Cream, four sugars."
Yennefer makes a face, but she doesn't comment. She heads to the kitchen area and Jaskier uses that time to try to ground themself. It's not that Yennefer scares them, but -- okay, she does. And while they rehearsed what they wanted to say multiple times on the way here, now their brain is completely empty.
Yennefer comes back and puts a mug in front of them. "Here you go, Jaskier."
She's purposefully using their name more than she really needs to, and it's new enough that Jaskier finds that they really appreciate it. Like all of Geralt's family, she's been nothing but supportive of their transition, and yet every gesture still moves them deeply, especially from someone they can hardly consider a friend -- their partner's ex-wife.
It serves to soothe Jaskier's nerves a little, and they let out a real laugh when they see that the mug she gave them has a rainbow flag and the words "this beverage will make you gay" printed on it. "I don't think it can make me gayer than I already am," they snort.
"It was Ciri's Christmas present to Triss last year," Yennefer smiles.
Jaskier wraps their hands around the mug, taking in the heat. "It's about Geralt," they say.
"I figured."
"I don't want to, like, make this awkward between us, but you know him in ways his brothers just don't. Lately he's been shutting us all out and I don't know how to help."
Yennefer takes her time before answering. "Ciri said something like that. I haven't had a proper chat with him in months, but I know how he gets."
"Do you know how to get him out of it?" Jaskier asks hopefully.
"If I did, do you think we would have gotten a divorce?" is Yennefer's answer.
Jaskier's heart clenches. Is that it, then? Is that what she means? Is Geralt shutting them out because he's about to break up with them? Jaskier knows that their personality and their issues are a lot of handle, and the fear that Geralt will one day wake up and realize that Jaskier is just too much (or maybe not enough) is always present at the back of their mind, but this time they can't even pinpoint what they did wrong.
"Hey, Jaskier, breathe," Yennefer calls out, and Jaskier realizes that they're hyperventilating. Yennefer has moved from the armchair across from them to the couch, and her hand is hovering over their arm, as if asking for permission to touch them.
Jaskier slips their arm away -- the thought of being touched makes their skin crawl right now -- but they take a few deep breaths to calm down. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Here, come with me," Yennefer offers, standing up. "I want to show you something."
Jaskier hugs themself with their arms as they follow her upstairs. The house isn't cold, but they feel a chill running through their body anyway.
"Ignore the mess," Yennefer says, opening a door on the left of the corridor.
That just makes Jaskier curious, because what room in Yennefer's house could be messy? It's a bedroom, with a kingsize bed in the middle. Purple sheer curtains surround it, open on one side, and part of bed is covered in what looks like various Halloween props. There's a velvet pumpkin, assorted orange leaves and a knitted blanket, and even -- that makes Jaskier laugh -- a toy skeleton arranged in a yoga pause.
"Triss decided that our bed was the only place she could do her Samhain video," Yennefer explains.
"Oh, I can't wait to see it," Jaskier smirks. "What did you want to show me?"
Yennefer walks further into the room. In a nook by the dresser are two cozy armchairs, and between them, a mountain of stuffed toys. She grabs one of the largest one, a fluffy white unicorn, and plops down on one of the armchairs, kicking of her stilettos to sit cross-legged. "Sit," she orders.
Several jokes run through Jaskier's head, but they stay silent and obey. She's showing them a vulnerable part of herself, a place she doesn't let many people see. Jaskier brings their legs up and lets themself fiddle with the ear of a stuffed rabbit.
"I don't know how much Geralt has told you of his childhood, or of our marriage for that matter," Yennefer starts quietly, her gaze intense and almost uncomfortable. "He and I, we have a lot of the same kind of trauma. Being abandoned, and then raised in a high-pressure environment, never having a place to just be yourself, it messes you up. I think we were both always waiting for the other shoe to drop, we constantly pushed each other away because it's easier to leave than to be left. That's why we didn't work out. I thoughy getting married would help, and then getting Ciri, but this isn't something that should be put on a child's shoulders. Eventually we realized that it was hurting her. Geralt and I... We love each other very much, but we just had too much baggage. We're better now."
Jaskier nods, unsure what kind of response they can give to that. It isn't new to them exactly, but Geralt never said it in so many words. Geralt never says anything in so many words.
"Do you think we're going the same way?" they ask. "I have plenty of baggage of my own."
"You do, but yours is different. And Geralt isn't who he was back then. He's still struggling, but he's improved a lot. After our divorce was finalized, Triss dragged us both to therapy. I think we just went for Ciri's sake at first, but it helped."
"I've been trying to convince him to call his therapist," Jaskier says.
"Keep at it. It always takes him a while, but it will help in the end. After six months of therapy, when his therapist first brought up getting assessed for autism, he came over and gifted me this," she holds up the stuffed unicorn. "I loved unicorns as a kid. He said I should get to have all the things I've been denied."
"That's actually cute," Jaskier smiles.
"He does things like that for you all the time. He loves you, Jaskier. In a more healthy way than he's ever loved me. And you understand him in ways I never could. If anyone can make it work with him, it's you."
Jaskier swallows tears threatening to spring to their eyes. "Thank you," they murmur. And then, because they're too good at deflecting when things get too heavy, "I didn't think I would ever pass muster for the great Yennefer of Vengerberg!"
"If I thought you weren't good for him, they would never find you body," Yennefer glares, but it feels playful.
Jaskier laughs a bit, then sobers up. "I'm sorry things were so hard for the two of you. I swear I'll do my best to take care of him."
"You do that. But, Jaskier--" she trails off, biting her lip.
"Yes?"
"Don't forget to take care of yourself too."
Jaskier reaches out to pet the unicorn in her arms, stopping just short of touching her hand. "I won't," they smile. "Thank you. Really."