Chapter Text
Raphael had been eating pizza alone in his room. a movie was playing on the laptop Donnie made him, but he wasn't fully paying attention. he could feel something taking over his brain, like a little fog.
it happened a few times before, usually at bad moments. when he was sparring with his brothers, when he was working on being the leader, stuff that could stress him out. when he didn't try to push it away, it sort of just… took over his brain. he felt little, tiny even, like he was just hatched.
it was embarrassing, and it would be mortifying if any of his brothers found out.
Raph looked around cautiously. he heard no footsteps, no noise. he was alone, none of his brothers or Splinter would come in… if everything went to plan.
so it was settled, he wouldn't push it away this time! he let the tininess crawl across his brain, and he felt his thoughts get more child-like. it was weirdly comfortable for him.
he switched the movie from the drama/action he was watching before to some cartoon he found on a pirating website.
tiny Raph happily ate his slice of cheese pizza, watching the show contently. he had pulled one of his stuffed animals, a little bunny, into his lap, and put his fuzzy red blanket over his head. he was warm and cozy with his pizza and his bunny and his movie, and nothing could ever ruin it.
he was so enraptured in his movie that he didn't hear the curtain over the doorway to his room move. it wasn't until Leo spoke that Raph noticed him.
"what's up? you okay?" Leo asked, leaning against the doorframe. the genuine concern in his voice made tiny Raph feel a little more comfortable after the surge of panic he got.
Raph tried to talk, but the words just weren't there. so instead, he just nodded.
"so what's with the apparatus?" Leo prodded, a playful and fake suspicious expression on his face.
his brother just glared at him before looking back at the movie. in retaliation, Leo flopped down on the bed next to him, groaning obnoxiously.
Raph found himself bothered by his brother, but not 'cause Leo was annoying him, 'cause Leo wasn't questioning him. But he also wasn't helping.
tiny Raph's tiny brain suddenly wanted to let his brother know about the circumstances. tiny Raph made a little sound at his brother. something like… ba.
"...huh?" Leo asked, looking at his older brother, who still had a blanket over his head and a stuffed animal in his lap. it was miraculous how it hadn't clicked for him yet.
Raph huffed, giving up so soon. he looked back at his show, where something exciting was happening. he pointed excitedly at the screen, jabbing at it with his stubby fingers.
"yeah?" Leo looked at the screen, where colorful little animals were spelling words and sounding out letters. he had no idea why Raphael, his aggressive big brother, would be watching some little kids show.
slowly, he was connecting the dots. draped in a blanket, bunny stuffie, enraptured in a kids show, not talking.
"hey. hey, dude." Leo prodded his brother's shoulder. Raph made an annoyed, dismissive sound. "dude. how old are you?" he'd heard about something like this online, but he couldn't remember what it was called. he remembered it was like a therapy thing, and it wasn't always voluntary, and that it helped lots of people, so he was happy his brother was helping himself.
he always felt bad for Raph, so much responsibility was on his shoulders sometimes.
meanwhile, tiny Raph was processing the question. how old am I? he wondered. the answer coming to his little brain was 2! I'm 2!
so that's how many fingers he held up, which was helpful, because he didn't have much more than that.
"you're 2?" Leo asked. Raph feared anger in his voice, but he didn't hear it. his brother sounded more interested than anything else.
so, instead of running away or hiding or pushing the tiny away, he nodded. he's 2.
Leo hummed to himself, "I heard about something like this online, it helps people. so I'm happy it helps you." he said, giving his tiny brother a big smile.
unexpectedly, Raph gave him a big smile in return.
"what show were you watching?" Leo asked, he didn't wanna scare away this tiny version of Raph by bringing up, or god forbid making fun of his big smile.
"um.." he didn't remember the name, but it was a pretty cartoon that moved fast enough to keep his little brain entertained.
"don't know? that's okay bud." Leo grinned, turning his attention back to the little screen.
after maybe 10 minutes, Raph felt… needy. like he wanted to be cared for, instead of just sitting here with Leo. he didn't exactly know how to communicate that.
turning to Leo, he just made a little motion. a little wave of his fists, like holding his arms out for a hug.
"you want a hug?" Raph nodded quietly, his expression like a sad puppy. he felt weird for all this and needed a little comfort. "c'mere buddyyyy…"
Leo pulled him close and patted his shell gently, swaying just a tiny bit.
after barely a minute, he heard snoring on his shoulder. tiny Raph was all tuckered out and asleep on his shoulder.
he turned the volume of the cartoon down, carefully laid his 'little' brother's head on his soft pillow, and tucked him in for sleep.
he even made sure to tuck the stuffed rabbit into his arms before turning out the lights.
"ninight tiny Raph," Leo said with a little kiss on the forehead, before shutting the curtains behind him.
he even told the rest of their brothers to be quieter, because Raph was already sleeping.
what a good big brother :)