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Excerpts from the Diary of Amity Blight, Year 20XX
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Ed and Em have been beyond obnoxious, recently. But in a different way than usual. Instead of trying to prank me, or do things to annoy me on purpose, they’re so considerate nowadays. Which should be a good thing, I know! But it’s weird coming from them, and almost worse than their irritatingness.
(Is is irritatingness even a word? Consult dictionary later.)
They’ve started making breakfast for me on weekend mornings, too. It’s not explicitly for me, Ed insists he’s becoming a cook due to a newfound passion for the culinary arts, but they don’t even eat anything until I come downstairs. It’s kind of sweet. I know they just feel guilty for the whole library incident, though, and I’m just waiting for this weird phase to pass.
Speaking of the library incident, another result of it is that I’ve been able to read the fifth Azura book, which I didn’t even know existed before. The human Luz lent it to me, and I have already read it three times. I’m meeting up with her in a couple of days to return it, though, but I think I can squeeze in another reread before then.
When we reunite, I will make an attempt to be more friendly. I didn’t know what to make of Luz, before, and I’m still not quite sure now. But after a lot of thinking, I have realised that she is herself. She’s earnest, and genuine, in a way that feels a million miles away from people like Boscha. Aka, my current friend group.
Being around Luz reminds me of being friends with Willow.
It’s the same kind of relationship my parents will disapprove of, too.
This time… I’ll try my hardest not to ruin it.
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Good news and bad news.
The good news is that… I think I actually have a chance at being friends with Willow again. Even writing out this sentence feels impossible, but it might be true.
First of all, I messed everything up. Willow had her memories extracted in photo class, and in passing, I saw THAT memory, the beginning of me ruining her life, and I thought, would it hurt if she forgot that awful day? If she forgot the terrible things I said to her?
So I burnt my face out of her memory.
And then the fire spread to all of the other memories.
…I did say I messed everything up, okay?!
In any case, Luz, Augustus and a very disorientated Willow found me at the scene of the crime, and… yeah. Luz took me back to the Owl House (for the first time ever) where she and the Owl Lady both nagged me for what I did, which I totally deserved.
Long story short, Luz and I went into Willow’s mindscape to fix my mess, and we actually managed it! It was a difficult process, but we managed to repair every memory, including the one I originally tried to erase.
And I finally got the chance to show Willow my side of the story. That I didn’t just cut her out of my life for no reason, and that, if I had the chance, I would have stayed friends with her all these years.
Once Willow was back to normal, I tried to quietly go home, but Willow caught me. She said what I did was a start. I can’t hope for anything more right now, but I’m happy that she’s at least given me a chance.
Onto the bad news: I have a crush on Luz.
She makes me feel so many things I’ve never felt before, and as I have discussed at length in this very private diary (Ed and Em if you’re reading this just know I learnt the spell to hex objects in class recently), these feelings have confused me. I thought it was just the novelty of having a friend who actually cared about me for the first time in eight years, but it runs deeper than that.
Luz is so wonderful.
And I have a gigantic crush on her.
She hugged me while we were in Willow’s mind and… everything clicked. At once, I knew what I was experiencing was a crush, even though I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
Now, I have no idea what to do. Repressing these feelings forever seems like an excellent idea, but a foolish part of me doesn’t want to do that. And Grom is very soon…
I have a lot to think about.
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GROM WAS AMAZING. CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW. ONLY SCREAM. (INWARDLY!). WILL UPDATE LATER
She called us friends but Titan, I don’t even care.
If parallel universes are real, I hope Luz and I become friends in every single one of them.
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Mom tried to kill Luz today. Yeah. I KNOW.
She also tried to get her, Willow and
Augustus
Gus expelled from Hexside.
I… stepped in.
I think Luz blushed at me?
I’m not going to think about it.
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I KISSED LUZ ON THE CHEEK. I AM THE MOST FOOLISH WITCH ON THE BOILING ISLES.
Emira set me up with buckets of ice cream, and Edric has been reassuring me that Luz looked starstruck and took like, five minutes to get up after I went inside, but I don’t care. I’m still skipping school tomorrow. I will have to wait to meet my palisman. Avoiding Luz takes priority.
How can I even talk to her again?
Simple solution: I won’t!
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At this point, I don’t even know what to write. If this diary was a real person, you’d probably be in shock that in a few short months, I would go from being an absolutely terrible person, to having the honour of being Luz Noceda’s girlfriend.
Yes, you read that right. GIRLFRIEND!
Too much happened today for me to write down. Just know that it was up, and down, and then amazing, and I also owe that weird owl tube now and I hate that.
But nothing else matters. I’m Luz’s girlfriend. Girlfriend!!!!!!!!!
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I don’t really know where to begin with today’s entry. It was… a packed day.
I want to talk about Emira with this, but I don’t want to invade Luz’s privacy, so… in here all my thoughts go.
Luz’s father is dead. He has been for most of her life. All this time, she’s been bearing that burden without talking to anyone on the Isles about it, not even Eda.
But she chose to tell me. It came after a long day of her lying to me, bottling up her own feelings, and then causing me to lose the Bonesborough Brawl.
Because I did sign up for that, in the end! My big plan to bond with Dad… and it kind of failed. But at the same time, not really. He knows I’m dating Luz now, and that I don’t want to join a coven. Those are two things I was terrified of telling him, and he reacted okay. I’m still scared of telling Mom about those things, but I’ve made a start.
He sent an Abomaton to make sure I was at coven tryouts, though, and Luz triggered its alarm, and then lied and said she didn’t. The whole day, she was frantic and worried even though she was trying not to let it show. I got angry at her and Dad and stormed off, but she came and found me. She explained that it was the anniversary of her dad’s passing, and that she didn’t mean to let it affect her because it happened so long ago, and all I could do was just stare at her.
I don’t know what to do now. A big part of me just wants to wrap Luz in a hug and never let go. I feel like I see her fundamentally differently now, and not just because of this. It’s just… the smile she wore when she tried to reassure me about her dad, is the same smile she wears all the time. I always thought she was a genuinely cheery, upbeat person who could see the good in anything.
And she still is!
But now… I think I’ve realised how much weight she’s carrying on her shoulders. I should have seen it before. But I do now.
In the end, we got flowers and tied them to a balloon. Luz seemed more peaceful once she got to do that, and we held hands as we watched it fly away. This was all happening by our Grom tree, by the way. Did I mention that? It was the first place I thought to go when I ran away… so.
It’s weird. Only a couple of months ago, we danced and made that tree together, and I was scribbling in my diary like a fool about my silly little crush. Now, I’m actually in a relationship with said crush, and I got to be there for her when she really needed it, in front of that same tree.
It feels like something’s shifted. I’m more worried about Luz, now, but at the same time, I think I care about her far more than I even realised before.
And with Belos and the Day of Unity and everything else on the horizon, I just hope that I keep getting to be there for her. Through the good and the bad.