Archive of Our Own

Rebecca is sitting in her living room, flipping through a bridal magazine Keeley insisted she bring home on their last outing. She’s got a mug of tea sitting on the coffee table, a blanket thrown over her legs, which are resting across Ted’s lap.

Every so often, the diamond on her left hand catches the sunlight streaming in through the windows, calling for her to look at it. When she’s gazed at her ring for long enough she always, as if by routine, looks up at Ted. She studies the smile lines around his eyes, the way that tuft of hair falls over his forehead, the way one of his hands absently strokes her leg while he reads the book he’s holding in the other.

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to luxuriate in the ease with which they exist together.

For years, when her body had called out for air, she would realize afterward that she’d been holding her breath, or there had been a tightness in her chest that had gone unnoticed in its regularity. All of that is gone now. Now, when she takes a deep breath, she breathes in the peace and quiet that has taken up residence in her heart and soul. The scent of Ted’s aftershave combined with the faint smell of fresh baked biscuits and freshly brewed coffee.

She swings her legs off the couch and pulls the blanket around her shoulders. Ted looks over at her briefly, but doesn’t question what she’s doing or where she’s going. He doesn’t chide her for her inability to stay in the same position for long, and he doesn’t demand that she work to break the habit. Instead, he smiles at her and then turns his attention back to his book.

She stands, blanket wrapped around her, and takes two steps closer to him. She takes the book from his hand and places it on the coffee table behind her along with her magazine. He looks up at her again, slightly more confused now.

When she pats his knee, she sees his lips curl into a smirk as he, as if by instinct, rotates his body so his back is against the arm of the couch. He settles into place with one of his legs stretched across the length of the couch and the other on the ground. Satisfied, Rebecca turns around and sits between his legs, wiggling to get comfortable. She leans in to place a kiss on his nose and then shimmies down a little further to curl herself against his chest, her head resting just below his chin.

She feels Ted’s chest vibrate with a chuckle before she feels him press a kiss to the crown of her head and wrap his arms around her.

“I love you.” she whispers, more to herself than him, before drifting off to sleep in the peace he brings.

She doesn’t know how much time has passed by the time she wakes to find herself laid out on the couch, Ted placing feather-light kisses all over her face to wake her.

She rolls onto her back and slowly opens her eyes and looks up to where he’s leaning over her, one knee braced on the couch beside her.

“Hi, darling.” she says, barely more than a whisper.

“Hi.” He breathes back. “I didn’t want to disturb you if you weren’t ready, but I made you some lunch and I thought you might rest better if your stomach didn’t wake you.”

“Oh,” she says, smiling sleepily at him, “I don’t want to sleep the whole day away, I want to be ready to head out to the show tonight.”

“I know, honey, I have an alarm set for when you need to start gettin’ ready, but you’ve had quite the week, so I wouldn’t begrudge you a full day of nappin'.” He gently taps her hip, “come on, let's get some food in ya and we’ll go from there.”

She stands, wraps her arms around his waist from behind, closes her eyes and drops her head to his shoulder, letting him lead her to the kitchen without having to be fully awake. Ted chuckles as he moves her to the kitchen island, peels her from around him, and helps her get settled in her chair.

“Okay baby,” he says, placing the plate of food in front of her, “Unfortunately you’ll have to open your eyes until you’ve finished eating. Wouldn’t want ya pokin’ an eye out with this fork.”

She thinks about teasing him for not making a food that could be eaten without a fork, but when she sees the earnest love and care in his eyes, she’s too overcome with love for him to verbalize it.

“Thank you, love. I feel sorry I haven’t spent much time with you today.” she pouts, realizing how hungry she was as she takes the first bite of food.

“Honey what do you think we’re doin' now? What about sittin' on the couch all mornin' readin' our books? I just love bein' with ya, Rebecca. You don’t have to entertain me.” He says, placing a kiss at her temple before moving to make himself a plate of food and then sitting down on her left side. He knows she likes to hold his hand while she eats, so he makes sure their non-dominant hands are always side by side.

Ted eats his lunch as he watches her enjoy hers. He observes the gentle giggle and hum she lets out when she takes a particularly tasty bite. His heart feels like it’s going to leap from his chest as he watches her do a little dance, without even realizing she’s doing it, letting him know she’s comfortable, at peace, and really really likes the meal.

His heart swells because he knows she hadn’t experienced this freedom in her previous relationships. He knows she’s unlearning the fear that enjoying a meal will lead to ridicule. He knows that she hadn’t been offered a space to settle into safety.

His eyes well with tears as he’s overwhelmed with gratitude that she allows him to see this side of her. He sits in awe of how she exists in this duality of being strong, intelligent, and capable, while also allowing him to take care of her so she doesn’t always need to be.

“I love you.” he says, lifting their joined hands to his lips and placing a kiss on each of her knuckles.

“Rebecca, ya ready to go?” she hears him call up the stairs from where he’s standing, probably directly in front of the door.

“Just a minute, I’ll be right down!” she calls down, before turning her attention back to the things she’s laid out on the bed.

She’s wearing a dress with no pockets, and it isn’t quite cool enough to bring a jacket. She thinks the theatre might be, but as Ted is notorious for removing his layers once he gets inside, she feels no real need to bring one of her own. She has no particular desire to carry the clutch she’d chosen, and can’t think of a single thing she needs to carry with her that Ted can’t provide should she need it.

She takes a deep breath. Metaphor, she thinks, as she takes her phone and lipstick, leaving the clutch and all the other items behind.

She bounds down the steps toward Ted, who is stationed by the door as she predicted. He watches as she slips on her shoes, like he can’t quite believe she doesn't exist only in his brain, even though he’s the one that helped her into the dress just a few minutes ago.

“See? Told you I’d be right down.” she says, as she approaches him. He holds out his hand and, without a second thought, she places her phone and lipstick in his palm. He opens his jacket and slides the items into one of the inside pockets and then closes it again, giving it a pat for good measure. She barely has time to dwell on the easy routine they’ve developed before he’s pulling her toward him by the waist to press his lips to hers.

“I never doubted you for a second.” He says, looking deep into her eyes and then pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose and brushing her hair away from her face.

They stand there for a moment until he breaks the silence to say “Okay, let's roll out.” With an accompanying smack on her ass before taking her hand and leading her to the car.

Rebecca throws her head back and laughs as she lets him guide her to the passenger’s side. He opens her door and helps her into her seat, then gives her another quick kiss before closing her door securely and making his way around to the driver’s side.

Once they’re both seated and securely buckled, he starts the car, backs out of the driveway, and takes her hand. As they start down the road, she lifts his hand to her lips and places a kiss in the middle of his palm.

“I love you.” She says into his hand. She settles back into her seat and watches the town roll past them like a scene from a movie, thinking about all the easy ways he delights in knowing and being exactly what she needs.

It was a perfect night.

Ted had taken her to see a show, he’d taken her to dinner at her favorite restaurant, and they’d stopped for ice cream on the walk back to the car, all because she’d had a busy week in Football Club Ownership and he wanted her to have a night of fun.

When they’d arrived at the theatre, Ted had held onto her waist securely the whole way to their seats, to ensure they didn't get separated. Then, almost as soon as they sat down, he had removed his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. After the show, as they were walking along the sidewalk, she felt Ted tug her hand and reposition them so he was on the street side. Then he’d guided her back to where the car was, which she was grateful for as she, truthfully, hadn't been paying attention earlier.

Upon arriving to the restaurant, he once again walked around to her side and opened her door, taking her hand to help her out. Again, he’d held her securely as they walked, once again positioning himself on the street side for the short walk inside. He’d encouraged her to order whatever she wanted for dinner, assuaging some of the residual anxiety she has around eating in public.

He’d watched her with a warm gaze as she ate her dinner, and dessert, and bread, seemingly more delighted with each new thing she turned her attention to. He poured her glass after glass of wine until she decided for herself that she didn’t want any more. He paid for their dinner and took her hand to lead her out of the restaurant.

That’s where they find themselves now. Ted walking on the street side again, looking for the ice cream place he promised to take her to. He’s holding her hand while she gets lost in observations of the world around them, thinking back to all the ways he’d cared for her this evening. All the ways he’d made her feel special, not for her birthday or their anniversary or a special occasion, but because he decided that this Sunday evening deserved to be a special Sunday evening.

She can’t think of a time she’s ever been so aware of being cared for and protected. Not with any man she’d dated, and certainly not with Rupert. She feels confident in the knowledge that Ted will keep her safe while she turns her attention to the world around her–

“Woah woah woah. Close call!” Ted’s voice shakes her from her reverie, and she realizes they’re standing at a crosswalk. Ted is standing behind her with a hand held tightly on each of her hips.

“What is it, darling?” She says, turning to face him, unsure how long she’d been lost in her musings.

“You almost walked right into traffic, honey bunch.” Ted replies, he must read the confusion in her face because he quickly adds, “I mean, I would never let you walk into traffic but that was a close one cause that car was really whizzing by–”

“Ted. I would never walk into traffic, don’t be silly.” Rebecca replies, racking her brain trying to remember what her body has been doing for the past few minutes while she was lost in her thoughts.

“Well, darlin’, you didn’t walk into traffic, to be fair. But you were pretty dang close.” he says, “don’t worry though, I’ve got your back, always.” He pulls her close and places a kiss on her forehead. Once again she is in awe of how easy it is to be loved by someone who has no expectation of how she should behave.

Just then, the light changes and Ted takes her hand and pulls her along to the other side of the street and into the ice cream shop.

Rebecca thinks back to all the times she’d heard Keeley say she loves going out with Roy because she can let her guard down, safe in the knowledge that he’s looking out for her. She’d heard the stories but never fully understood what Keeley meant, until now. The realization hits her like a wave: Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Ted has been creating that same safety for her by showing up and keeping her safe in all the ways she’s needed him to. In all the ways she didn’t realize she’d been missing.

Oh. She thinks, as Ted hands her an ice cream cone and leads her back outside the shop. So this is love.

Just then, she looks up to find Ted has got ice cream on the tip of his nose. She places her hand on the back of his neck and pulls him toward her, licking the ice cream off his nose before kissing him.

“I love you.” she whispers against his lips as she presses her forehead to his.

He takes her left hand with his right and walks them over to a bench to sit down. She lifts her legs into his lap as they sit and finish their ice cream, trading bites of each other's cones.

After a long while just sitting in the everyday ease of his presence, she opens her mouth to speak but he looks at her, dazed, and when he speaks its barely more than a whisper. His voice comes out as though he's speaking for the first time.

"I couldn't love you more if I tried."