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'My name was Theon Greyjoy. I was the youngest and last living son of Balon Greyjoy. I lived with the Starks since the age of ten. I was their ward. Robb Stark was my best friend. I betrayed him. I was captured, tortured, castrated. My name is Reek. I live in Dreadfort. Ramsay Bolton is my master. I have to obey him. I betrayed Robb Stark. I'm a bad person.' These thoughts plagued the broken man, who laid in the corner of an dog kennels, shivering and rolled. The thin arms slung around the legs, his wide open eyes, which were soaked with bruises and eye rings, stared at the wall made out of stone. The only things that keeps him away from the monsters, his master called dogs. If the dogs would get him, they would readily lacerate him and let no scrap of skin left.
Sometimes, when the night is long and cold, when he couldn't make the master happy, when he looks at the place where three of his fingers used to be, then he wishes the wall would break down and the dogs would come in his cell, to kill him fast. He doesn't even wish a painless death for himself – he thinks, this is the only kind and way how he can die as himself. When the pain takes him back.
He knows in the night, when he is asleep, who he really is.
Then he dreams of Robb, how they met for the first time back then when Lord Eddard Stark brought him as a ward to Winterfell. Robb wasn't shy and started to treat him like a brother really fast. He also dreamed of how he marched into war with Robb, side on side, just as when they were little boys and played a game called war. It stayed a game. Robb was expected to be a man from the one second to the other, that he would lead an army, that he would make the right decisions. And he made it even harder for Robb, by coldly betraying him. When he dreams, then he sees Robbs face in front of his own, the blue Tully eyes gaze coldly at him and of Robbs mouth only the following words come out: Traitor. Then his contours start to fate and Ramsay is in front of him. He dreams how the Bastard of Bolton deducts his facial skin and thereby he obnoxious laughs. He also dreams, how it all could have been, if he hadn't betrayed Robb. One time he allowed himself to dream what would be, if Robb came to rescue him. If he would discover that the Boltons are traitors. If he came to kill them all. If he would look through every corner of the castle and find him while doing that. The weak, mutilated, reeking boy. Robb would be his knight in a shining armor, because no one else could save him anymore. But these are dreams and they will always stay dreams. He is Reek. Theon doesn't exist anymore. Theon died in Dreadfort. This is no longer Theon. This here, this is only his vessel. Theon can't be saved, because there is nothing left to save.
„Reek, Reek come out!“ The voice of the master urged in his ears and he got up, twirled the hay on, on which he has to sleep.
He was shivering. The heavy steps of Ramsay got louder, the master came closer. A new day as Reek began and he didn't want to disappoint the master. His left eye started to twitch. His master hated it, when he twitched. The master thinks then, he is afraid or not happy. Reek doesn't want that. Reek wants to prove that he is thankful. „We go on a hunt. Only you, me, and some of my favorite dogs. But you Reek, you are my favorite dog out of all of them.“ with these words, the master opened the heavy door, made out of iron poles, behind which Reeks whole word was. Hesitantly the man with the shaggy hair stepped out, his naked and bleeding feet were so rough that he didn't feel the difference between the hay and the cold and hard floor.
„Don't be shy, you know i would never hurt you.“ He nodded even though he knew that it was a lie.
His body showed the truth. The missing fingers, the uncountable scars and wounds, the flayed skin, the bleeding feet, the broken teethes, the contusions and bruises in his face and on the rest of his body. Even though it hurted like hell, he kept saying to himself, that he deserved it. When he disappointed the master, he had to reckon with the consequences. And even when he was sure that he didn't made the master angry this time, he told himself that this was the punishment for betraying Robb. Because Robb is the only thing Theon and Reek still know.
„We are going into the wood.“ the master told him while they left the kennels, Reek was more limping than walking, however, he tried to walk upright to prove to his master that he was trying his best.
„We have beautiful weather today!“ the Bolton bastard said happily as they reached the middle of the wood, Ramsays three favorite dogs on his right side and his one very special dog on the other.
„For sure, Master.“ Reek stammered while he was limping forward.
It wasn't a very cold day, particularly if you think about how cold the north seemed to be for Theon. But Theon isn't Reek.
„Do you want to play, Reek?“ the master asked playfully and Reek nodded fast.
„Good. The game goes this way: You start running and you try to be faster than the dogs. If you can do that, you get a bath. If not, i let them alone with you for a while.“
As Reeks eyes began to wide and he had to swallow hard, Ramsay explained: „They won't kill you. You know that i love you, Reek.“
He wanted to do something that made Ramsay so angry, that he would kill him now without even blinking. He didn't want to play all those games, he didn't want to suffer anymore, he wanted to die. But before he could do something dumb, he said to himself: „What is dead may never die. You aren't dead yet and you are not going to die soon. You are going to survive all of this.“
„It starts, Reek.“ Ramsays grin showed his soul, his disturbed soul but instead of studying his smile, Reek started to run.
That turned out to be hard, he can hardly stand upright. He is half limping, half jumping, in the background he hears Ramsays terrible laugh.
„Faster, Reek, faster!“ the bastard screams and Reek takes all of his power, his nonexistent power.
He runs and runs, until he can't hear Ramsays laugh anymore. For one moment he allows himself to be relieved, maybe he could win this game, when he suddenly fell on the ground. He tripped. Tripped over a stone. A stone. Pathetic. As if this wouldn't be bad enough, he heard steps that were running faster and faster over the undergrowth. The dogs. He just wanted to start to whimper, when the sun, which was shining on him until now, was obscured and he started to freeze a bit. Something was in front of him. Something big, nearly majestic. At first he thought it was the Master, but when he carefully lifted the head upward, still lying on the ground, he recognized that the thing wasn't a human. It was an animal. A wolf. But not a usual one. No. A direwolf. He wasnt quite sure where this memory came from, but he was sure that this wolf was a direwolf. Suddenly he knew it.
„Greywind!“ he screamed and the wolf yelped.
Greywind. Greywind was Robbs direwolf. Theon knew him since he was a pup. And if Greywind knew Theon, then he also knows Reek. He didn't even growl. Greywind always growls if he scents danger and he was always right. So he didn't saw Reek as a threat or as danger. But why was Greywind here? He should be...he should be with Robb. Maybe he came here to kill him. That would be the only thing Reek could actually believe. Suddenly he heard, how the dogs came near in his direction, but before he could realize, the direwolf ran towards them and he heard many agonized dogs bark, suddenly nothing but silence. Greywind killed them. His master will punish him for that. He will get his whole skin deducted. He started to twitch and his heart beat faster than usual.
„Greywind? Greywind?“ a deep voice suddenly screamed.
The voice of a man. Reek tried to get up while he wondered who that could be.
„Greywind!“ then it hit him again.
This voice, this is one he could recognize out of thousands.
„Robb.“ he whispered quietly, his voice sounded fragile.
„Come out Greywind.“ there was sorrow in Robbs voice even though a direwolf like Greywind was never in danger.
Reek kneeled on the earth, he couldn't get up, he lost all his power while he was running away from the dogs.
„Ah here you are Grey-“ Robb stopped talking. Reek, who looked at the bottom until now, looked hesitantly up.
He knew that Robb already saw him but he also knew, that if he looked into Robbs eyes now, he would kill him. He was traitor and now punishment from his master was enough for him. But maybe it all isn't real. Maybe he just hit his head while he tripped over that stone. Robb could never be here, no, not after all this time. Not after he finally understood that fleeing from Ramsay was impossible. He was Reek and Reek was Ramsay property. End still, he looked up. His eyes met with Robbs blue ones and he could hear how the Stark took a sharp breath.
„Theon.“ he said but Reek shook his head hastily.
„Reek, I'm not Theon, I'm Reek.“ he stuttered the sentence he knew by heart, even though he didn't know who he had to convince more; himself or Robb.
„They told me that you are presumably dead. That no one survives the Bastard of Bolton. Theon do you remember me?“ devastated Reek bite his rough, up burst lips and he tasted blood.
He was about to cry but he couldn't shed a tear, not here, not now.
„Of course you do. You would never forget me. You were my brother. Theon...“ Robb spoke the sentence slowly and with so much feelings that for a short moment, Theon could penetrate through Reek and he forced himself to nod.
„He will kill you. You have to go.“ Theon said and looked pleadingly at Robb.
„Not i'm going to die, he will. Theon, we got Winterfell back. A few of the northern man who where still there told us everything. That the Boltons are traitors. That they burned the castle. That they have you.“ like in a trance, Robb drove through Theons dirty hair, but it was some kind of comfort for both of them.
„You should hate me.“ Theon whispered and turned is face down. Robb didn't owe him anything and still he was here, comforted him and he didn't even want to kill him. He betrayed him and Robb still saw the good side in him.
„I don't hate you. You didn't kill Bran and Rickon, right? You would never do that.“ Robb sounded more like he tried to convince himself that Theon didn't kill the Stark siblings and he was right.
Theon nodded.
Carefully, Robb took Theons flayed hands in his own.
„You were and you will always be my whole world, Theon. You betrayed me, but i understand you. I will always forgive you.“ Robb spoke carefully to Theon, who got tears in his eyes. It still felt like a dream to him.
He wasn't called Theon for a long time and no matter how often Robb said his name, it sounded strange but still so soft and warm. He nearly felt safe. And also, that Robb was still on his side, after all those things that happened. It felt good.
„Reek. What are you doing there?“ Ramsay.
Theon started to shiver, fast he let go of Robbs hands and looked around himself. There was his Master, a fine but sharp knife in his hand and he looked between him and Robb back and forth.
„The king in the north. How do i deserve the honor to meet you?“ Ramsay asked and smiled, this disturbing smile that made him clear again who he was; Reek.
„Bastard.“ Robb hissed and drew his sword, Theon didn't dare to move.
„Even if you kill me, your castle and your house will fall, my men are taking everything right now. Look, you have not a chance. Let yourself be arrested and you can be executed in honor, even though someone like you doesnt deserve to die in honor.“ Ramsay only laughed.
„Only for what you did to my dogs, i have to deduct your skins, no matter if the house of my father falls or not. Like you've already said it: I'm a bastard. I wont go down with the men on the castle.“ In this moment, Theon noticed that Greywind was gone.
„You will never be a good ruler in the north. Let it go, Stark, you can live with Reek for the rest of your life if you give up now.“
„His name is Theon and you will never touch him again.“ Robb sounded so angry that Theon twitched.
He also was confused, was Robb the good guy or was Ramsay the one he should stay with, was he Theon or was he Reek...But when he heard how Robb said his name, with all those feelings, that moved something in him just like in the moment when he recognized Geywind.
„You don't even need to try to protect him Stark, he was never as safe as he was with me.“ Ramsay grinned devious and Robb pulled his free hand into a fist and took a figh position with his sword.
„I wouldn't do that.“ Before he could realize what just happened, Theon felt something cold at his throat.
Something metallic.
Ramsays knife.
„Lay your sword down or i will cut his throat.“ Now Ramsay sounded dangerous, his patience was over, he wanted to win now.
„Lay. Down. Your. Sword.“ he said it word by word, slowly and clearly, you could hear the hate in his voice and Theon felt how the blade got near his throat.
He continued shivering, he also whimpered even though that was what he didn't want to do. This wouldn't have an happy ending, it just can't have one. It only goes by well in his dreams. He would prefer to die now than seeing how Robb dies. But Robbs sword went down, it fell to the ground. Now everything was lost.
„Good.“ Ramsay sounded satisfied, slowly he took the knife away from Theons throat, but in the next moment he heard a painful scream.
Theon looked at Robb how had his eyes wide open. Slowly the Greyjoy turned around. Ramsay lay on the ground, screaming, he struck around with his knife, Greywind was above him, who was biting into Ramsays stomach with his sharp teeth and teared everything apart.
Then everything turned silent.
He only heard the wolf who ate parts of Ramsay and his and Robbs flat breathing. After a short time, Theon started crying. Robb kneeled down to him, the former ward of the Starks lay his head at Robbs shoulder who stroked his flayed back.
„It's over.“ Robb whispered over and over again, silent, but still so warm and lovely.
In the background he heard the battle cries, painful screams and the sound of metal that meets metal. He heard them scream: „Winterfell!“ and „King in the north.“ they were going to win and Robb would rule over the north. But that doesn't matter now, because Robb was here, with him and he said his name as often as he could so he could hold on to who he really is and Robb always said that everything was real and that he will always love Theon and Theon stopped crying and his heart stopped feeling so terrible. It was over. He was free. He was with Robb and it felt like the beginning of his new life. And maybe this new life could be a good life.