Chapter Text
Worth Fighting For
Seungmin just finished writing his journal when he received a message from his mother. It's nothing major but a reminder that he needs to be careful in his environment and his emotions. Seungmin suppressed a groan and decided to go to the balcony when he heard his phone ring again for the fifth time today.
"Min," his mother's voice lingers at the cold current. His tired sigh escaped from his lips and his mother seemed to catch Seungmin's inner emotions.
"Mom, I'm okay, just tired. The comeback is in two months." Seungmin is careful in his voice, afraid that his members will hear him. It was a late night, after all, everybody was sleeping.
"I will send you a bodyguard Min, please... You know that it was your age to present. I want you to be safe and comfortable. It was dangerous for you to be stressed even now," Seungmin closes his eyes and massages his temple. How many times has his mother called him for this reason? She didn't trust the members because of what happened to his cousin who was abused by her pack. She is an omega and her drop made her almost lose her life. His mother and his family are convinced that he was an omega. They called it instinct but Seungmin is still bothered by it. Their protectiveness is scaring him and Seungmin just wanted to present normally, not with people who were so worried and paranoid about his safety.
Seungmin is the only member who hasn't presented yet. It was a deal that Seungmin is the outcast outside of the pack dynamic - but it was fine. Seungmin isn't a fan of sappy cuddles and relationships. He doesn't like the responsibility of a pack too. He was free and the members respect his preference not pressuring him to join the cuddle pie if a member needs attention, Seungmin is not obliged to make them feel better because his scent is not a part of the pack. Even his room is farther away from the members. He was the only one who owned a single room.
Changbin is the only omega in the pack and Seungmin is relieved that his hyung wasn't a fussy type of omega. He is kind and warm, and also very beautiful in any way. Hyunjin is beta but sometimes he acted like an omega for liking skin ships 24/7 but it balanced the entire pack. The alphas are not aggressive too but very possessive, and there are so many times when they mistake Seungmin for being an outsider because of his lack of connections to their wolves. Seungmin was not offended, he was busy too. He has school, and idol schedules and the normal interaction also balances his emotions. As his mother said, Seungmin has distress syndrome which forbids him to feel a high set of negative emotions. It causes heart palpitations and panic attacks. But it never happens to him again at least because he knows his body best and the reason why he refused to be part of the pack. Honestly, he is also terrified hence his parents requested them even before he joined JYP and the members are aware of the rule.
"Min just this once, please..." Seungmin shivered from the autumn wind. It was past midnight and maybe because he was so tired from hearing his mother so Seungmin agreed just for the sake of it. He made sure that the guard was a girl and also will do it subtly so his members will not freak out at the new additional soul. The alphas will kill Seungmin, especially Felix and Minho. They didn't like outsiders. Jisung the baby alpha next to Jeongin was also learning from the hyungs though Chan is a kind Alpha, Seungmin doesn't like to push his luck.
"Okay. But remember my conditions."
Seungmin stays outside for more than a minute. He sneezed and decided to come inside. He feels terrible and so cold, Seungmin with the fear of getting sick comes back to his bed.
The next morning, Seungmin feels his nose itch with every scent in the dorm's close radius. He sneezes again but thankfully it happened in his room with no one like Changbin to witness because Seungmin will be forced to stay at the dorm until he feels adequate. He took a bath in cold water too because he forgot to turn on the AC last night and it was hot all over. He feels much better after.
Seungmin comes out of his room and goes to the kitchen to cook eggs but he sees Minho already awake preparing breakfast. "Morning," Seungmin greeted the older man, which earned a hum but ignored him after. He goes to the refrigerator and drinks the apple juice, he is lucky that the container has a small portion so Seungmin transfers them to the tall glass and sits on the stool, and waits for Minho to finish so he can cook his chosen breakfast.
"The fuck Kim Seungmin!" Hyunjin, in his disoriented state, ran to the kitchen and glared at him accusingly.
"What?" Seungmin asks bewildered, Hyunjin has never been this rude before.
"That's my juice! Why did you drink them?" Hyunjin says in a blink of crying. Minho was also surprised at the sudden commotion. He tugs Hyunjin to his chest and tries to calm the beta. Seungmin was left in awe.
"Hyunjin was in his preheat." Chan, the alpha leader, went to collect his beta and looked at Seungmin with an apologetic gaze. Changbin also came hearing the commotion and cooed Hyunjin. He stares at Seungmin with a hint of apology too and the younger one goes to say sorry to the taller.
"Sorry Jinnie, I didn't mean to." Seungmin apologizes and the beta seems to forgive him but still sulking that his favorite drink is gone.
Beta by nature has a heat twice a year and it was a random date. Dissimilar to the omega and alpha who have calendars for their next heats and ruts. Beta is very sensitive and clingy to his pack. Seungmin has witnessed Hyunjin's foul mood with his heat cycle and he totally understands him. He never holds grudges but maybe because he smells Hyunjin and his distress made him feel hurt for the first time. His nose is ridiculously sharp which is weird cause it never happened before. He dismisses them though.
Some of the alphas like Felix didn't like that his beta is upset so he tried his best not to growl at Seungmin. They have breakfast in peace at least. It turns out that Seungmin is not allowed to join them in the car. Two cars were supposed to carry the divided members but because Hyunjin has been making a huge fuss since morning, Seungmin was forced to be separated from them. Jisung and Jeongin wanted to join him but the beta burst into tears not seeing his pack. Seungmin has not yet been presented and is not allowed to join them. Again, it happened before and Seungmin is more than happy riding an empty van. His Noona manager is with him who was also a beta.
"Are you okay Seungminnie?" Noona asked, which earned a nod from the younger. The whole ride is silent and Seungmin uses the opportunity to sleep through it.
Seungmin wakes up feeling disoriented. Mix smells lingered in the van and it made him sneeze again. He didn't like the blend scents, he needed some fresh air. Luckily, they reach the company building.
It was a normal day for his vocal lesson but Seungmin is a lot busier since he needs to send an essay to his cyber class and made Jeongin wait for him for 30 minutes.
"Sorry Jeongin-ah, it was due today," Seungmin says but the alpha only smiles at him. They giggle together and sometimes have a little conversation.
When Seungmin said that Hyunjin is out of it, he never thought it was this grave. They started the practice and Seungmin felt restless so he tried his best to be okay thankfully until the next wave of practice everything was normal.
It was the sweat and fatigue that made Seungmin frown at Hyunjin's tactic. He never really meant to snap or even let out an irritated groan but preheat Hwang Hyunjin is a queen bitch. There are bottled waters and coffee that the staff gave them and Seungmin was the one who collected them. He put it in the corner making sure the members will get their drink. Seungmin is talking to Jisung and like usual, Jisung is being dramatic again, breathing clingy to Seungmin. He didn't mean it but Chan's bottle of water spilled on Hyunjin's flannel. It was all soaked when Seungmin realized what happened. Hwang Hyunjin's beautiful face turned sour and gave him a death glare.
"What is your problem with me?!" He screams tears in his eyes blazing on his beautiful face.
"I'm sorry Jinnie!" Seungmin went to hold Hyunjin but he was rejected, deliberately making Hyunjin forced to pull out of Seungmin's grip causing him to lose his balance and land his butt on the ground.
A distressed whimper echoed at the studio and the alphas were alert and growling at Seungmin. It was so scary that Seungmin was left frozen and shocked at his members wanting to hurt him. Chan didn't growl but focused on his beta who was crying pitifully. Changbin also tries to calm Hyunjin by producing pheromones. Jisung was frozen too but his small growl and tight grip on Seungmin's wrist. He let out a small cry. Jisung let go of him but didn't realize that he made bruises on Seungmin only focusing on his beta who was still crying. Felix, his best friend, glared dangerously at Seungmin.
Jeongin and Minho were also scowling at him and Seungmin was left frozen after Hyunjin's distress caused the heat to break out and fully obliterate the pretty beta.
It was so fast that the members disappeared from the room. Seungmin can feel the hollow emptiness spreading in his veins preventing his breathing. The rain was visible in the glass panel and the freezing breeze was obvious even though the window was closed. Seungmin didn't understand what exactly transpired because the next thing he knew was silence and the room was blurry and suffocating. He can hear static and the beating of his heart thundering in his chest. Seungmin only realized he was having a panic attack. The bruises caused by earlier burns on his skin, and the smell of distress choke him indefinitely. He wanted to breathe but his whole body was trembling and his hands were shaking. He cannot call the members or his manager. Fuck! Seungmin struggled to breathe, his knees turned to jelly and he fell to the cold floor.
"H-Help..." Seungmin whispered before he lost consciousness.
Seungmin was woken up by the bright light. He first sees the IV bag on his left side and his mother's. His body was aching and his stomach felt like burning. He cries in pain, it was so so so unbearable.
"Pain..." Seungmin had tears in his eyes and his mother quickly called a doctor. They injected med into his dextrose causing Seungmin to drift to sleep.
It happened for a week and Seungmin is pleading because of the pain. He was pale and sick. So sick that he thought he was going to die from the pain and his abnormal temperature causes him to be more sluggish than normal. Seungmin was forced to present because of stress adding to his distress syndrome. His body cannot handle the changes in his sub-genre and it causes a large toll on his body. Seungmin threw up blood and some days he was vomiting. It was pure agony. He only gets better after a week and he can finally eat normal food.
His mother talks to the management about Seungmin's situation and forces them to keep it a secret from anyone, especially from the members. They were informed that he has a home emergency and Seungmin will be pulled out from the next comeback preparation. Not that he has a choice but because he cannot handle being an omega.
He needs a stress-free environment away from his group pack. Their scents trigger Seungmin's panic attack and his mother is not happy with it. She was convinced that Seungmin was abused like his cousin but fortunately, the guard who found Seungmin knows everything that happened and explained that no one is really at fault.
Hani is a beta who helps Seungmin after seeing him collapse on the ground with his newly presented sub-genre. She also knows that he was having a panic attack. She heard everything but only watched from a distance. She plans to help Seungmin after more minutes but the younger one has already reached his limit. Hani is smart and knows what to do when she explains what happened to his mother, does not exaggerate, and never targets the member. He was grateful that she still hid those things that will make his mother freak out and never forgive the members. Hani says that she knew Seungmin adores his members and it's not right to eradicate their bond from outsiders' opinion.
Another 3 days before Seungmin finally goes home. Nothing changed he knew but his instinct felt rawer and Seungmin loathed that he was easy to read now. It feels like his privacy was suddenly exposed and he didn't like it. He learned so much after another week of spending at his parent's house. He is getting better at accepting his new self.
Seungmin was hungry when he left his room to come downstairs. Their butler was sent by his grandparents to handle his necessity to answer the phone. Seungmin halts his steps after hearing the butler speak.
"I'm sorry Mr. Bang, Seungmin is with his parents because of a family emergency." Seungmin bit his lip and waited for the butler to hang up before he stared at him and waited in curiosity.
"Mr. Bang just called asking for you." He paused, "I told him you're still not available." Seungmin only nodded his head and mumbled a thank you then changed his mind and turned to his room.
Seungmin has no phone because his mom told him that he needs to rest until another week. He followed her of course, Seungmin has bad memories from the hospital. He was drinking medicine for his sickness and his immune system and his heat until it turned to normal.
It has been a month but Seungmin is still staying at his parent's house. The company finally gave an announcement that he was on his hiatus due to a family emergency. Seungmin has no news for his members yet because his mom made sure they were blocked from approaching him. Chan's calls were connected to the security line so Seungmin didn't hear anything except the first call.
It was the first week of another month when Seungmin got into heat. It was still painful but he can endure them compared to the last time. He didn't know what was coming to him but he felt empty and isolated. Seungmin has a sobbing night before his heat is completely gone. Another week when Seungmin can finally take a visitor. He was photographed by a fan from visiting a hospital. Social media is indeed a scary thing because one click and seungmin were trending worldwide as a hashtag for getting well soon. It was now known that he was sick. Since his doctor was famous for handling those who have rare conditions. Seungmin is fine though, he started to have his phone and updated the fans about his hiatus. He said it will take longer but he thanked them and misses them so much.
The next day, Seungmin's visitor was Changbin. He wears a comfy shirt and black jeans. He looked out of place and his eyes were misty. The manager cannot enter because of Seungmin's sensitive condition. Changbin's eyes turned to him and Seungmin halted when he smelled the pack scents. His knees turned jelly quickly but the butler managed to help him settle a seat across from the omega. They stayed silent until the butler put tea on the center table and Seungmin was trembling when he touched the cup. The scents were affecting him and his inner omega was terrified recognizing it as a threat. Seungmin decided to give up drinking tea instead he was given apple juice in a bottle with a straw.
"How are you?" Changbin asked in a raspy voice and his eyes were misty. Seungmin could smell his strawberry scent and although it gave him peace, the lingering scent was scaring him.
"I just got cleared, hyung." Seungmin smiles,
"We... I miss you pup" Changbin cannot control it, they cannot touch yet and he was being emotional. Hot tears sprung from his eyes making Seungmin's heart clenches in.
"It's been a while," Seungmin mumbled instead, and the older man sharply noticed his indifference. He gulps looking sad at Seungmin's cold persona.
They talk about random things about how it was busy and it was not that noisy in the dorm like before, making sure that someone was missing. His inspiration in producing. How it's been a long time since they saw each other. Seungmin eventually warmed up to Changbin naturally. They cannot touch still but Changbin seems happier than earlier.
Seungmin told Changbin that he will tell him what happened to him on his next visit and he can come with another member. He says Chan is okay too.
"Is it my scent? Am I making you uncomfortable?" Changbin asked while Seungmin shook his head vehemently.
"You smell like strawberry hyung, what are you talking about?". Seungmin huffed unintentionally so Changbin only smirks at him pleased with the normal teasing. "Okay."
It never happened the next day, Seungmin had a fever which resulted in him resting for a couple of days. His phone was abandoned but he knows that he received messages from everyone.
After his fever, Seungmin's mom wanted him to rest again and not accept visitors but it was long overdue and he knew that the members were worried so he agreed to meet them.
Seungmin is wearing a hoodie and comfy trousers. His scents are all over the place and it didn't bother him anymore. He was walking to the living area and upon seeing Chan, Seungmin didn't shudder much as he thought he would.
"Hi, hyungs," Seungmin greeted them carefully. He still looks a bit pale but he is sure that he was already healed.
"Minnie," Chan's eyes glisten at the new sight of the newly presented omega. His claws clasped on the edge of the couch and only Changbin felt the tension of his alpha.
"I'm sorry for not doing this sooner, I got a fever but I'm okay now," Seungmin said and the butler prepared tea again and disappeared after. Seungmin's hand is still trembling but he can hold a tea cup now. Chan's eyes narrowed and the protective alpha was urging him to tackle Seungmin in his arms and give him lots of attention and care but Changbin held his hand to make him stay still. Chan blinks on purpose and the oblivious omega smiles while drinking his tea.
"How are you feeling?" Changbin asks, still holding Chan but wanting to have a conversation to distract them both. Seungmin looks ethereal and comfy. He likes to hug him so much that the itch is making a haze parade on his brain.
"Actually, that day was blurred too. I got a panic attack and collapsed on the ground." Seungmin breathed out and told them what happened, about his sickness and the causes of his presentation.
"I-I... Oh my god, Min. I'm so sorry." Chan's eyes were bloodshot as was Changbin but Seungmin didn't understand the desperation in their eyes and scents. It was already fine and he was not a part of the pack, at that time their priority was Hyunjin. No one was at fault but the circumstances. But of course, the alpha couldn't just accept the mishap.
"The reason why I didn't join the pack and my parents were still reluctant for me to come back has something to do with my cousin. It happened a long time ago but my family still grieved about it and my mother has an instinct I will present as an omega so she prepared to exclude me from the pack. She didn't trust you guys to take care of me." Changbin gasps while Chan lowered his head, well Seungmin just sighs and continues determined to tell them everything.
"My cousin is an omega and was abused by her pack. She dropped so bad that it causes her to almost die. It was a nightmare for all of us, and having a similar syndrome to hers only convinced my parents that I don't need a pack because the technology today can have an omega to be independent."
"I have distress syndrome. I can't be emotionally stressed or feel high negative emotions because it will cause me a panic attack. I was fine though but it was triggered by a fight with Hyunjin. My force presentation caused huge distress in my body so the pain was doubled. I stay in the hospital because I don't think I'll make it if I don't eat those medicines." Seungmin shuddered at the memory.
Seungmin watches his member's breakdown. He didn't mean this to happen so when Seungmin went to hug them both for comfort, it was not really his fuzzy mind but his instinct. The head omega and alpha are in distress and Seungmin cannot just sit and let them cry.
"Hyungs..." The mixed scents of strawberries and rain attack his nose. Chan is quick to carry Seungmin to his lap and cry on his shoulder. Changbin is also hovering, hugging them together.
"I'm so sorry baby, Alpha is at fault. I miss you so much my love," Seungmin's ears twitched at the whispered words. He feels himself in a daze and his eyes were threatening to fall. Chan's large hands were tight on his waist while Changbin was hugging his side giving calm pheromones. Seungmin purrs and both older men were surprised. Seungmin is really out of it, he closes his eyes and drifts to sleep.
Seungmin wakes up disoriented. The smells lingered on his nose and he could feel the calming breathing of both men. He raised from his position, clinging like a koala, and he felt his cheek rosy red, he didn't mean to fall asleep while giving them comfort, so when he met Chan's brown eyes, Seungmin is quick to pull out and sit beside them but Chan's strong arms made him stay put. Seungmin's eyes glistened and he met their leader's content gaze.
"God, sorry hyung, I didn't know what got into me..." Seungmin blinked, flustered. He covered his face using his hoodie paws and adjusted on his seat. "It's fine, pup." Changbin accommodated him. It was silent for a while but his members were already fine, not sobbing anymore. Seungmin took note of it and plans to do this stuff when he senses a distressed member.
"I know it's still early but I hope you'll come back to us... It doesn't matter what your boundaries are, I will meet them Seungminnie, so, please..." Chan's eyes glisten and his emotions are all raw exposed to Seungmin's bewildered face. His hyung, who is a very good person, is begging him to go back, but Seungmin knows it will hurt both of them and everyone because coming back needs to be consensual. Seungmin knows to himself that he isn't ready yet. He cannot control his fear and those things have a big impact on his peace and safety. So he smiles softly and wishes that his sincerity reached both of his wonderful hyungs.
"I'm sorry hyung, but can you wait a bit more?" Seungmin sees Changbin's tears fall to his cheek. They know it was hard, a difficult journey but Seungmin isn't ready yet. He didn't want to break the enchantment that bubbles them together. He was genuine in his feeling.
He hope this was worth it.
"Of course," He heard them whisper.