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Chay liked to think that he had started to become quite comfortable with himself. Growing up, he was the quiet kid in his classes and some of his classmates thought that he was weird because of it. He never really gone out of his way to talk to other people and instead focused on his studies and made sure that he was getting the best possible grades he could get. His classmates used to find him odd that he didn't socialise with them or even make an effort to befriend them. That resulted in bullying a few times, but Porsche was quick to find out and put a stop to it.
Whenever Chay would mumble and pout over his brother getting in the middle of him and his classmates, Porsche would only shake his head. "You should never have to feel like you have to be like someone else just because other people don't agree with it."
If you asked Porsche, Chay was a talkative child growing up, just like he was bubbly and affectionate. Wherever Porsche went, Chay went right with him, latched to his side like a monkey. There were times where Porsche would have to threaten him to be quiet during the nights where they used to sleep in the same room because Chay wouldn't stop talking. He was only like that with people he felt safe and comfortable around.
After hearing Porsche's words, Chay became very comfortable with himself and didn't care for how he was perceived by other people.
However, when he met Kim, it was hard to not think those things.
Kim made it very clear to Chay that he loved him. After they got together officially, after everything that had happened between them, there had never gone a day where Chay didn't feel loved by him, and he hoped that Kim felt the same with him.
Kim picked Chay up every morning to take him to his classes before he headed to the studio for his internship and he was there after Chay's last class to bring him back home. Kim tried to communicate his feelings properly, and they worked out what worked best for them. Kim made it very clear that Chay was the only one for him to Chay and anyone else who was willing to listen.
That, however, didn't change the feelings of the people around them. Chay knew that it wasn't worth caring about what people thought about him, he learned that at a very young age but it was hard when his insecurities were at an all-time high not too long ago when he and Kim had their "break up".
He noticed how the students at their university and random people on the street looked at them when they walked hand-in-hand, when Kim would drop a kiss to his forehead or cheek, or whenever Kim would wait for him outside, leaning against which ever fancy sportscar he chose that day. He also knew that Kim didn't like it, he didn't like it when he people looked at them like they didn't belong together. But even Chay couldn't believe it sometimes. Look at Kim, he was gorgeous, so beautiful like he belonged on the cover of multiple magazines and he had; Chay had bought every single magazine his boyfriend was featured on. It was insane to Chay sometimes that a person as beautiful, talented, smart, and as amazing as Kim was with someone like Chay, voluntarily. It just didn't make sense to him sometimes. But Chay also knew that Kim thought Chay was magnificent, adorable, kind, diligent, and every other good adjective out there. He knew that they complimented each other very well, like two pieces of a puzzle, and if people couldn't see that, then that was their problem.
Of course, there were times where Chay's insecurities came out in spurts, especially at times like these.
Chay smiled seeing Kim in the distance, where he was sitting by the lunch tables with his friends. He had assumed that they were his fellow classmates who were also taking part in their internships. His boyfriend agreed to meet him after his class ended since he got out of the studio earlier today until Chay had to go back for his next class. His steps came to a stuttered stop as he stood near the group of seniors, who quieted down when they saw him. Chay offered them a small smile which bloomed into a real one when Kim turned around and saw him.
"Angel!" Kim beamed, turning his body slightly and patted the empty spot next to him. The second Chay sat down, he was engulfed into a tight hug. He let out a surprised laugh just as Kim whispered murmured, "I missed you" before he pulled away and placed two soft pecks on his cheek.
Chay giggled. "You saw me this morning."
At that, Kim huffed, "and? I still missed you."
Chay looked at him through his lashes causing Kim's breath to get caught in his throat. "I missed you too P'Kim." Kim just smiled, bringing Chay's hand to his mouth to kiss it.
Chay snapped out of their domestic bubble when he heard someone's throat being cleared. He looked up to see two seniors staring at him. Chay offered a close-mouthed smile and wai'ed politely before opening his bag and taking out his tablet. He necessarily wasn't the biggest fan of being around Kim's friends but he was willing to go along with it because of Kim.
Chay had often wondered if he was overthinking but he started to notice how the mood would shift whenever he was around Kim's friends. Because Kim was in his last year of university, he was obligated to intern along with his classmates, even though he already was a successful singer. That being said, there would be days where he would get out of work early and would spend that time with his friends whilst he waited for Chay if he had class. Chay would hear the group laughing and talking avidly with one another but the second they spotted Chay, it would come to a stop. And when they would pick up their conversation, it wouldn't be the same as before.
Chay had thought to not to meet with Kim sometimes if he was with his friends under the excuse that he was studying, but he knew that Kim would just ask where he was and most likely leave to meet him. He also knew that if Chay wasn't comfortable in an environment, Kim wouldn't hesitate to leave. That's why Chay stayed feeling uncomfortable, because if he said he wanted to leave, Kim would be hot on his tail.
"Hi nong Chay!" The first-year student looked up to see the kind face of Aim, Kim's friend. He was the only friend of Kim's that Chay seemed to like. He was the one who helped Chay find Kim when the older man would disappear on him. Aim was the only one who actually treated Chay with respect and with kindness, he never seemed to mind having him around.
"Sawadee krap P'Aim," Chay smiled cutely causing the senior to coo and pat his head. Chay giggled as Kim playfully pushed away his friend's hand. He then focused his attention on his tablet where he pulled up the professor's lecture slides and his notes side by side to start writing them down.
Since internships was basically working, Chay was the only one who had exams and quizzes coming up so if he was going to be stuck here, he might as well get some work done.
"Need help?" Kim whispered in his ear and Chay fought back a smile as he shook his head. Kim hummed against the back of his neck, causing Chay to feel the vibrations.
The couple didn't seem to notice the looks the other seniors, besides Aim, were giving each other. Two of them, named Jay and Code, particularly just stared at the youngest of the couple with plain dislike. Whenever Chay was around, Kim's attention went straight to him, completely forgetting that they were all there.
"Hey man," Code called out, causing Kim to look up with a blank look on his face. "Some of us are heading to MuseX tonight, you want to join us?" he asked.
Before Kim started dating Chay, he and a few of his friends went out often. They went to different bars and clubs every weekend, drinking and partying the night away. Once Kim got into a relationship, however, that all started to change. It seemed that the first-year wasn't interested in Kim's previous doings and where he went, Kim followed so it wasn't a surprise that he stopped hanging out with them. MuseX was a popular club, making it difficult to get into but whenever they were with Kim, there were no problems getting in. Obviously, it recently had been a rarity for them to go.
Kim tilted his head in thought but Jay and Code noted how his eyes strayed to his boyfriend for a split second before answering. "Sorry, not tonight."
The two of them nodded, an ugly feeling brewing in their chests.
---
If someone had told Kim that there would be a point in his life that he would prefer baking with his boyfriend than going out drinking and partying, he would have laughed in their face. He would have been more surprised at having a boyfriend than the baking part to be honest. Now, he couldn't think of anything better.
The music was loud as it pounded in Kim's ears, his eyes scanning through the crowds of people dancing as he sat in the VIP section of the club. He waved the waiter away once his drink was placed in front of him and looked back through the tinted glass.
Kim was grateful for the luxuries in his life, being born into such wealth that he never had to want for anything in his life. Whatever he wanted was provided in a matter of seconds, minutes and sometimes even hours. He was grateful to be a part of a wealthy family. However, there were times where he felt the wealth wasn't worth working for his family. He wanted out of the games, the illegal dealings, the violence. He wanted out. So when it was time for Kim to start university, he didn't hesitate to start planning his way out of his family's business.
But the luxuries he currently had were still provided by his family no matter how successful he had gotten from being Wiꓘ: the penthouse he lived in, the many luxury cars he owned, the expensive clothes he wore, the credit card he had that had no limit of spending. So in order to live as much as a normal life as he could, he had to do his part of the deal he made with his father. Due to his interest in music, his father had Kim do his work in their clubs. Kim owned two clubs under his name, which he looked after but also looked after three of the Theerapanyakun clubs as well. Three was better than all of them, Kim supposed.
So here Kim was at one of his clubs, Wired, where he was bored out of his mind. Wired was the more toned down club compared to MuseX, he never seemed to have any problems when he came here. If he were to bring Chay to a club, Kim thought, it would be to Wired.
Kim sighed tilting his head back against the plush leather seat. As he glanced down to the throes of people dancing, he couldn't believe that was him not even a year ago.
Kim went through his entire life guarded, it was something that was built in him at such a young age, he didn't even realise that he did it anymore. Growing up, from the death of his mother and the harsh life he had to endure from his father, Kim made sure to feel numb as he possibly could. He was never one for emotions and feelings, except for when it came to his brothers.
Then he met Chay.
Kim had done questionable things with questionable people and never thought twice of it. He partied every weekend, drank, did anything and everything he wanted to do because he could and because he wanted to. His classmates would ask him to join them and who was he to deny them?
But after he met Chay, everything changed. Kim's previous routine only existed because it was the only way he could keep himself from being vulnerable. It was one of the many masks he put on. Once he met Chay and understood, really understood, what it meant to be loved and to be cared for, it all stopped. Once he learned how it felt like to be completely himself, everything changed. He didn't wear any masks around his boyfriend, he didn't need to.
Partying, going to clubs every weekend, drinking, none of that felt satisfactory anymore, and he would rather be with Chay. If his boyfriend wanted to go to a club, Kim would bring him, but at the end of the end of the day, it didn't matter what they did because Kim enjoyed everything because he was with Chay.
Kim checked the time, it was close to midnight meaning he had been there for about an hour and a half. There was nothing out of the ordinary so he supposed that he could go home.
"I'm leaving," Kim told his bodyguards, who nodded and spoke into their ear pieces. He was told that his car was outside ready for him, and he nodded, more than ready to go home.
Just as he got to the first floor, his name was called. He turned to see who called him, they have been near if he was able to hear them. Near the couches were Code, Jay and few of their friends. Kim faced his bodyguard and signaled them to make their distance whilst he spoke to them for a bit. It wasn't unusual for them to be here since it was a Friday. It also made sense since they spoke so much about MuseX, as this would be their next option.
"Hey man!" Jay clapped his back. "Didn't know you were going to be here."
"Yeah," Kim shrugged his shoulders. "Last minute plans. Is Aim here?"
"Nah man," Code shook his head, "he said he couldn't make it."
Kim figured, but it didn't hurt to ask. Aim was the only real friend Kim had, the others he just tolerated. He listened to the two of them talk about not seeing him and missing him but Kim was barely listening to them. He slipped out his phone from his pocket and smiled, seeing missed messages from Chay.
Angel Chay ♡
I just finished my hw and ate, so I'm going to sleep soon. Good night, I love you
Get home safe!
Oh, if you haven't eaten yet, do that!
Kim smiled at his messages and looked at Jay and Code who stopped talking once they realised that Kim wasn't paying them any attention. The mafia prince casually looked back at his guards and subtly nodded his head to let them know that he was ready to go. "I'm going to head out guys," he said, looking back at them.
"Come on man," Jay put his arm over Kim's shoulder. "It's so early, stay for a bit."
"Sorry guys," he shrugged off Jay's arm as he held out his phone. "My boyfriend's making sure that I ate which I didn't, so it's time I do that." He turned out and left with his bodyguards discreetly following behind him.
Once Kim situated himself in his car, he texted Chay back.
Kim
Good night baby, sleep well I'll meet you in your dreams
I'm leaving now so I'll eat when I get home
---
Chay bounced as he waved at Kim, who was leaving the building of his studio. Today, Kim was going to treat Chay by taking him on a date. Kim engulfed his boyfriend, who was leaning against his blue Lamborghini, in a hug swaying him side to side.
"How was your day?" Chay hummed before capturing Kim's mouth in a kiss. Chay was very mindful of PDA but since there wasn't anyone around them, he didn't seem to care too much.
"It was pretty good," Kim spoke into his neck, the tension from the day bleeding out. "I just recorded two songs and it seems like we're getting close to releasing them soon."
Chay smiled. "That's great, I can't wait to hear them!"
Kim huffed out a laugh, "babe, you already heard them."
Chay pouted as Kim released him and opened the passenger side door so he could sit inside. "So what? I still want to hear the final product and continuously stream them."
Kim could help the laugh that came out when he leaned in so he could buckle the seatbelt around Chay. "You're ridiculous."
"Got to give my man his views."
Kim looked into Chay's eyes and pressed his lips against his, catching the younger man off guard. Chay's lips were slightly chapped as they fell under Kim's, gently moving against each other. The younger man raised his hands hold Kim's face in his hands. Eventually they parted since Kim was standing in an uncomfortable position.
Kim made his way into his side of the car and drove them to a bookstore cafe. Chay was so excited, he showed Kim the cafe that popped up on his Instagram feed and thought that it was so cute they had to go. He wasn't a big reader but Kim enjoyed it from time to time, so it didn't hurt for his boyfriend to buy a new book.
They walked into the cafe and immediately, Chay was mesmerized by the bright lights and the many plants that took up the entrance. He smiled, dragging Kim by the hand to the counter where they would order their food and drinks.
"Angel?" Kim asked, swinging their hands together. Chay hummed, removing his eyes from the menu on the wall. "Why don't I order for the us and you can choose a book for me?"
Chay bounced in place with a gasp, smiling ear to ear and nodded. Kim laughed as his boyfriend launched himself at him with a squeal, squeezing tight before separating himself and went his way to the bookshelves. Kim kept his eyes on him until it was his turn to order. For himself, he ordered a lemon tart and an iced coffee. "Anything else?" The barista at the counter asked him, her eyes raking over his figure.
Kim could feel her eyes on him as he skimmed through the menu one more time to order something for Chay. He knew that they could share the tart but Chay liked sweets and would want them to feed each other at one point, so he wanted to order him something for him. "A strawberry milk tea with mango jelly and a lychee mango cake," Kim ordered, pulling out his card from his wallet to pay.
"You have a sweet tooth?" She asked, taking his card and then giving it back with the receipt.
Kim shook his head, smirking at the hopeful glint in her eyes, as he took the tray with their order. "Not me, my boyfriend has a major sweet tooth." He saw her deflate at the information and see the annoyance on her face which disappeared quickly. An ugly feeling resulted in his chest but Kim sighed and turned around to find a seat, knowing that Chay wouldn't like their date to be ruined just by someone's opinionated expression. She could feel however she wanted, Kim thought anyway, he wasn't going to look twice at her. Why would he, when the man of his dreams was standing a few feet from him concentrating on finding a book for him?
He placed the tray at an empty table and walked up behind Chay. "Angel," Kim whispered, causing Chay to jump and turned around. "Let's go eat," he nodded towards the table and Chay was quick to follow.
"P'Kim, do you want to try?" Chay held out a forkful of his cake in one hand and his drink in another. Kim smiled, knowing that Chay would eventually want to feed him, and opened his mouth. He tried not to grimace at the intense sweetness that was the dessert. My God, it was sweet. Chasing it down with Chay's drink didn't help either, if anything it made it worse.
His boyfriend giggled at his expression, already knowing that Kim preferred sour and savoury foods. But one bite wasn't going to hurt anyone. "Your turn," Kim smirked and full on laughed when Chay went cross-eyed and frowned as he swallowed the sour dessert.
After they ate and Kim bought the book Chay picked out for him, they decided to head home for the day. As they were walking back to Kim's car, a voice called for the older man. Even before seeing them, Chay fought back a groan knowing already who it was, who they were.
"Hey man," Jay clapped his hand over Kim's back as Code stood back. "What are you doing here?" He asked, focusing his gaze on Kim. Chay noticed how he didn't even acknowledge him, like he wasn't even there.
Kim turned his face so he could look at Chay. "I'm on a date," he answered, voice deep to let them know that they were wasting his, their, time by talking to him.
"Oh," the happy look on Jay's face faltered as he faces Chay, as if he just noticed that he was there. He then went back to look at Kim, "well we were down at the bar," he nodded to where the bar was, mixed in with the many other bars and restaurants.
"We're going to head to another spot tomorrow, want to join?"
"Nah," Kim shook his head, tightening his hold on Chay's hand. "Maybe next time."
Chay watched as Kim's friends nodded, seeming okay with being denied again, but saw their eyes flash when set on him. He gulped and his feet stuttered back under their gaze, causing Kim to turn to him, concerned.
"Let's go P'Kim," he said, not looking at the other men. Kim nodded and pulled Chay with him as they went to his car.
"Good night P'Kim," Chay sweetly said. They were still in Kim's car, parked in the main compound. Kim still lived by himself whereas Chay lived with his brother and Kinn in the main house.
"Good night angel, sleep well okay? I'll see you tomorrow." Kim pulled Chay into his arms, which was kind of uncomfortable with the gearshift in between them.
Chay sighed as he rested his head in Kim's neck, the tensions of the day releasing once he was in his arms. When he was with Kim, the worries of his friends not liking him, not treating him well, went away. Because he knew that Kim loved him and that's all that mattered.
Eventually they parted after Kim dropped a kiss to his lips and headed to the entrance. He waved at Kim, who stayed parked until he saw Chay go inside.
---
Chay groaned as he reread the same sentence for the third. Clearly his brain was not working properly. "What am I reading?" he asked out loud, causing Kim to snort. His older boyfriend was sitting across from with his laptop open and had one headphone in. Chay was assuming he was working on some of his own songs. Chay, on the other hand, was completing online assignments for his production class.
"I can't wait until I'm in my last year," Chay pouted, laying his head on his arm that wasn't connected to Kim's. "Then I don't have to do any of this anymore."
Kim looked up from the screen and smiled at the frustrated look on his boyfriend's face. He rubbed over his knuckles with his thumb in an affect to sooth him. "You do know that even when you intern and work, you're still going to have to do this, right?"
Chay groaned, pushing his face into his elbow. Kim laughed and tugged on his hand to get Chay's attention. "Let's take a break, then you can finish your assignments before I take you home. How much more do you have left?"
"I have three modules left but hopefully they are easier than this one."
Kim nodded, "if not, I'll help you."
"You know they say there are perks to having an older boyfriend," Chay smiled mischievously, "I think this is one of them." He squeaked when Kim pinched him.
During their short break, Chay filled Kim in on his classes, his friends, his assignments, and living with his family in the mansion. In their relationship, Chay was the one who did most of the talking and Kim was the one who listened. In the beginning, Chay often felt self-conscious over his constant babbling but Kim was there to assure him that he loved hearing Chay talk. He loved hearing his voice, it was one of the main things that calmed him down. In the midst of Chay's story of how his English professor mispronounced "organism" as "orgasm", a hand clapped down onto Kim's shoulder.
Chay was able to see the mix of emotions that ran through his boyfriend in a matter of seconds. Kim tensed and his hand twitched in Chay's hold, as if he was going to attack the person who put his hand on him but thankfully he relaxed when he saw that it was Code.
"Hey man," Jay jumped over Code’s shoulder, smiling but dimming once his eyes landed on Chay. The first-year student ignored the look but instead smiled at him and went back to his assignments, which suddenly became super interesting.
Kim revealed a real smile once he saw Aim walking towards them and his hold relaxed on Chay's hand.
"Hey Kim," he wrapped his arm around Kim's shoulder as he plopped down next to him. "Hi nong," he smiled at Chay who beamed back.
They all respectively spoke about their internships as Chay continued on his work until someone mentioned their weekend plans. Not having any actual assignments gave them a lot of free time, Chay realised. Must be nice, he thought. That was until the question of who was going to come had risen. Some of them could join whereas others couldn't and Kim was one of them. Chay had kept his head down the entire time so he had no idea what Kim was even thinking about when he answered.
The first-year student looked at his laptop and jolted when he realised that he had to head to class. "I'm going to head to the bathroom before I go to class," he whispered to Kim. His boyfriend nodded and helped him put his stuff in his bag as Chay got up.
"I'll walk you to class," Kim said and Chay nodded before heading to the bathroom.
He was in the stall when he heard footsteps entering into the room.
"Calm down," a voice said, attempting to help whoever else was in the bathroom with them. Chay recognised the voice as Aim.
"I am calm," a new voice spat back. "I'm just annoyed that my friend hasn't been spending with us, is that so wrong?"
Chay's eyes widened when he realised that it was Code. Oh my gosh, he thought. How the heck was he supposed to leave now?
"He's in a relationship, is that so wrong?"
A scoff could be heard. "I know that he's in a relationship, who doesn't know it? That kid never leaves him alone."
Behind the stall, Chay flinched at the fury behind those words.
“Ever since they got together, Kim never hangs out with us.” That was Jay.
“Nong Porschay is a sweet and kind person,” Aim intervened. “He and Kim complement each other and have you ever thought that maybe he grew out of it?”
A snort followed, “please, the kid follows him around like a puppy and he is the reason Kim never hangs around us anymore.”
“They are in love-”
“Kim thinks he’s in love. What’s so great about that kid anyway? He talks way too much, like for once can he just shut up?”
Pain surged through Chay like a sharp needle. Suddenly he was reminded of the times in his childhood where his friends at the time would roll their eyes whenever Chay would talk, mumbling under their breaths. Is that what Kim really thinks about him?
“He’s right Aim, Kim was never interested in hanging out on campus but his little boyfriend drags him around everywhere he goes. There’s no way he actually enjoys that,” cruel laughter followed. “Kim probably feels bad for him, there’s actually no way he actually has feelings for him, probably just feels bad for him.”
The first-year student bit his lip to stop it from quivering and the tears from falling.
“What does he have to offer? Nothing.”
Am I stopping him from hanging out with all of his friends?
Am I stopping him from doing the things that he enjoys?
These thoughts ran through him as they continued to throw their insults at him, with the stall shielding him.
Eventually, they left the bathroom and Chay rushed out after them, after washing his hands, to not worry Kim on why he was taking so long.
He mustered a small smile when he saw Kim leaning against the wall in front of the bathroom, with his bag in hand. He handed it to Chay before taking his hand and walking him to his class. “I’ll see you later, angel,” Kim muttered pressing a light kiss to his temple.
---
Chay had been acting weird.
Kim noticed his beautiful, bubbly boyfriend had been reduced to quiet smiles, and limited words. He would speak when he was spoken to, during Kim’s occasional visits to the main family house when they would round everyone up for a family dinner. He was all smiles and giggles with the people around him but once their attention was directed elsewhere, so was Chay’s smile.
When Kim questioned him earlier, softly rubbing his thumb against his boyfriend’s soft and supple cheek with the aching need to sink his teeth into them. Chay only smiled at him whilst he looked up from his workbook and assured him that it was only an exam that was taking most of his time and energy and thoughts.
However, nothing changed after the exam. Kim picked him up from the main family home and dropped him off in front of the classroom with a tight hug and kiss to his hair. He also picked him up with a rose in his hand to gift to Chay. His boyfriend beamed at the gift and wrapped his long limbs around him in a snug hug before letting go and walking to one of the outside tables.
“Do you want anything to eat?” questioned Kim, hooking Chay’s tiny pink with his middle and pointer finger whilst his other hand was busy with the flower. The man in question pouted as he thought over his choices making Kim smile softly at his boyfriend. He looked normal, so much at peace that it warmed Kim’s heart to witness such an image, having missed it dearly.
“I love you,” he blurted causing Chay to jolt suddenly, with his cheeks flushed red from the sudden confession.
He let out a nervous and adorable giggle, pulling on his hand to cover his face in an attempt to cover his face but Kim tighten the grip on his finger. Kim watched his gorgeous boyfriend feeling so lucky.
“I love you too,” Chay mumbled, peeking his eyes up at him.
“Now, what do you want for lunch?”
“Hmm,” Chay hummed, bobbing his head from side to side adorably, causing his hair to bounce. “I would like some Indian food, please.”
Kim raised his eyebrow, already knowing the place. “The South Indian place?”
Chay nodded his head, cutely. “I have been craving dosa lately.”
“Gobi Manchurian?”
“Of course,” Chay giggled.
“Of course,” Kim grinned knowingly and pressed kisses against the back of his hand. “I will be right back.”
When Kim came back, they enjoyed their little lunch date which was filled with Chay’s voice and with them taking turns feeding each other. It was a disgustingly cute sight.
But of course their sweet time together alone could only last for so long because they were interrupted by of course, Kim’s friends. They greeted the older man with happy grins and loud laughs barely sparing any glance to Chay. As the first-year student quietly munched on his lunch, the older students used that time to catch up with their friends. Now that the first exams were finished, everyone was now enjoying the short free time that they had. This, of course, was a cause of celebration and immediately the friend group came up with plans for the weekend.
“Are you in, Kim?” One of the guys asked and Kim only shook his head.
“Chay and I are going to the music fair on Friday so we won’t be joining you,” Kim answered, putting “we” in his answer even though no one even addressed Chay.
Chay felt eyes on him and felt the rush of humiliation seeing the hatred and disgust in their eyes when Kim had yet again denied their proposal. It was well-known that Kim never bothered to entertain himself with the on-campus events. He never cared to attend and even turned down the many attempts of being asked to perform at them. And now, he was going to attend a music fair, because Chay wanted to go, and of course, where Chay went, Kim was not far away.
Suddenly, he didn’t feel hungry anymore. He felt bad that once again, he was keeping Kim away from his friends.
So after the exam, Kim hoped that Chay would go back to his normal self but there wasn’t any change.
On Friday, the couple made their way to the main family house. Kim and Chay lived separately but usually on the weekends, one of them stayed over at the other’s. The music fair was in the evening, so they were going to rest for a bit at home and then leave. This time, Kim was going to sleep at the main house, so here Kim was sitting on Chay’s bed, running his hand through his damp locks whilst his boyfriend was in the bathroom. He looked up to see Chay emerging, the bathroom light resembling a halo around his head, looking just like the angel that he was.
“Everything okay angel?” Kim asked, seeing how tense Chay was with the way he was fumbling with his fingers.
“I think…,” Chay started and Kim gave all of his attention to him, making him fidget even more, “that you should go to club tonight.”
Kim tilted his head, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Your friends,” Chay explained, “they’re heading to the club tonight, right? You should go.”
“What?” Kim frowned. “Where is this coming from? We’re supposed to go to the music fair tonight. You don’t like that kind of stuff.”
“Not me, you,” Chay corrected. “They invited you, you should go.”
“What?” his voice started to slowly raise as he dropped his phone on the bed. “Do you not want me to go with you?”
“It’s not that, you haven’t been spending time with them lately, wouldn’t it be nice to spend time with your friends?” the younger man’s voice also went to a higher pitch, though it more of anxiety than anger. His fingers shook every time he spoke.
“Stop putting words in my mouth!” Kim spat causing Chay to flinch. He willed himself to calm down before he did anything irrational. “Where is this coming from Chay? We’re supposed to leave soon and now you’re telling me to go the club? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Your friends want-.”
“My friends,” interrupted Kim, “or you?”
“Me,” Chay answered after a moment of silence. “I want you to go to the club with your friends.”
The room became silent and the younger man felt the coldness in the room due to Kim’s blank stare. “Okay.” That was all he said before he grabbed his phone and left without saying anything else.
Chay was left alone in his room, his fingers shaking by his hands with his lip quivering and eyes burning with tears. He felt awful with the emptiness in his chest only growing, but he knew that he needed to do this: he couldn’t keep Kim from his friends. They were his friends, having known them before he had known Chay. It wasn’t fair that Kim was doing everything that Chay wanted to do, he should be the things that he wanted to do even him Chay himself didn’t like it.
Chay tried to convince himself that he did the right thing, that Kim was going to come back happy that he got to spend some time with his friends. But all he could think about was the way Kim looked at him when he told him to go. The way his voice dropped when Chay told him his change of plans. He let out a troubled breath, he felt awful, that sinking feeling only continued to grow. He needed to talk to Kim, to fix this. Chay thought that he was doing the right thing but clearly, he was wrong. And he needed to know just how wrong he was.
Pulling on his phone from the charger, he rang Kim only for him to go to voicemail, which he quickly left. But after some time, he didn’t receive a call or message back, which worried him beyond belief. Soon after they got back together, Kim and Chay promised that even if they got into an argument they would never ignore the other person. They would at least text the other person if they needed time to settle down, but Chay hadn’t received anything.
His mind was running through each and every possible situation that could happen and each one ended terribly. What if this fight just escalates even more? What if Kim breaks up with him? That fear hit Chay like no other, he didn’t think he was capable of such fear. What if Kim realised that Chay was not what he thought he was? What if he realised that he didn’t want to be with him anymore, or worse, actually shared the same thoughts as his friends?
He needed to see Kim before his mind came up with answers before his boyfriend gave him any. Without a second thought, Chay grabbed his phone and, in his pyjamas, ran out the house into the garden where he was able to climb the gate out of the guards’ hidden view. He didn’t want to alert any of the guards or drivers and make a bigger deal out of everything, more than it already was.
He rushed into the bus and pressed his cheek against the most-likely unclean window as the large mode of transportation took him to his boyfriend’s house. When he got to the large apartment building, the doorman barely spared him any glance as he walked into the beautiful building. He had been there so many times and Kim made it known to every employee in the building to allow Chay in without calling for him.
Once he pulled out the magnetic key card to tap it against the sensor near the door, it busted open and out came Kim who almost catapulted into Chay. They both wore surprised faces as the older man steadied himself by pushing his arm out against the door frame.
“Are you okay?”
“Where were you?” Kim asked in lieu of answering. “I got text from your brother that you nowhere at the house.”
Chay sighed, he should have known they would have realised that he wasn’t there. “I was going to come see you, you weren’t answering your phone and I got worried.”
Kim’s frustration morphed into confusion as he pulled out his phone only for it to be dead. He let out an annoyed sigh and stepped back from the door frame and nodded for Chay to come inside. The younger man bit his lip to shield some of the sadness he felt from Kim’s cold demeanour. It reminded him of when he had first met Kim, the older man showing him indifference and paying him no mind.
They sat across from each other on Kim’s bed. Chay fisted his fingers on the fluffy blanket trying to keep his eyes from Kim, who was staring straight at him. “Why did you come here, Chay?”
He could feel his heart contract, hearing those words. Chay, not angel or baby.
“I-I wanted to see you,” he stuttered out, tightly clutching the soft material in his hands. “I called you and you didn’t answer so I came to see if you were all right.”
Kim nodded, “and why did you call me?”
Chay felt tears come to the surface of his eyes. He hated the way Kim was talking to him, it sounded like he was interrogating him, it was like he was treating to Chay like a stranger. And he hated it.
Seeing the stray tear roll down his face, Kim softened slightly.
“I needed to talk to you,” Chay spoke quietly. “I wanted to apologise and explain everything. I got too in my head and wasn’t making any sense, I’m sorry.”
The older man let out a deep sigh, as he rested against the enormous wall of pillows on the headboard. His hair felt gently in front of his eyes and against his cheeks and Chay noticed that he was still in the sleep clothes he was wearing at the main house. So he didn’t end up going to the club, Chay thought with a full chest.
“What’s going on, angel?” Chay felt relief pool in him when he heard the familiar pet name for him. His boyfriend petted the free spot next to him and Chay wasted no time to nestle himself against him.
“Your friends,” Chay began, “they aren’t very nice to me.” He felt Kim stiffen beside him as he continued. “I see how they look at me, it’s so different when they’re with you. When you all are together, they’re laughing and smiling but when they see him, it drops. And they’re your friends so-”
“How long has been this going on?”
“I guess for as long as we’ve been together.”
“Chay, angel,” he faced his younger boyfriend who was smushed against him. He looked exasperated as he continued, “we have been together for months, this has been going on for months and you didn’t tell me?”
“They’re your friends!”
“Angel, they’re not my friends if they treat you terribly,” stated Kim firmly. “tell me everything, don’t skip out on anything.”
The younger man let out a shaky breath whilst tightening his grip onto Kim’s soft sleep shirt. His chest tightened with every awful memory of the older students that he needed to repeat. But Kim deserved to know.
“T-they, P’Code and P’Jay, they don’t like me,” he swallowed when he spoke their names. He didn’t make eye contact with Kim when he did, afraid to see his expression. “Whenever I’m around them, I see the way they look at me. They don’t acknowledge me and only talk to you, which is fine but whenever they want to hang out with you and you turn them down, I see how they look at me. Like it’s my fault that you said no.” He shuddered, and Kim cradled his face in his hands and leaned forward to press a kiss on his forehead to comfort him.
Kim felt anger burn through him like no other. The last time he had felt this such fury was when Tankhun got kidnapped all those years ago. Leave it to his angel to bring out those emotions again, but Kim was happy to feel anything as long as Chay was by his side.
“A-and the other day when we were in the cafeteria, I went to the bathroom and I overheard them. They were angry because you turned them down again, and they were saying these awful things about me. P’Aim was trying to calm them down, he was defending me.”
The older man released an angry noise, separating himself from Chay briefly to wrap his arm around his boyfriend to pull him closer. Chay happily sighed at the feelings for their bodies touching and turned himself over so that half of his body was laying on top of Kim.
“What did they say about you?” Kim roughly asked, his voice sounding hoarse. He looked down to see Chay biting his lip, wondering exactly whether or not he should confess the truth. “Tell me, please,” he softly commanded, pinching Chay’s chin gently.
“I don’t want you to hurt them,” Chay confessed, his beautiful large eyes staring up at him, causing Kim’s heart to clench. His poor angel looked so worried for his outcome and he was the one that had been done wrong. Chay had such a big heart and for him, Kim wouldn’t do what he wanted for his sake, no matter how much they deserved it.
“I won’t,” he replied and repeated himself when he saw the reluctance in Chay’s eyes. “I promise angel, I won’t hurt them. Nothing will happen to them, just tell me what they said.”
His boyfriend contemplated telling him before opening his mouth and confessing. “They said that I was stopping you from hanging out with them, that you turn them down because of me. A-and that you’re with me because you feel bad for me, that I follow you like a puppy. I talk too much and I am annoying and that you don’t love me…” he trailed off and after a second, he fearfully looked up to his boyfriend. His heart stopped seeing the anger pooling in his eyes. His jaw was clenched so tightly Chay was afraid it was going to snap, and his hand tightened around Chay’s shoulder and his other was squeezed in a fist.
“You should’ve told me,” he said eventually.
“I know that if I wanted to leave, you would’ve come with me so I didn’t. If I said something, I knew that it would cost your friendship. You’re friends-”
“They’re not my friends!” Kim suddenly roared causing Chay to jump away from him. Seeing his boyfriend so frightened, Kim softened. “They’re not my friends, Chay. They never were.”
He continued seeing the confused expression on his angel’s face. “I’m not friends with Code and Jay, we’re just mutuals since they’re friends with Aim. He’s my only real friend. Those guys just use me as an excuse to go to MuseX and Wired or to more of the exclusive or expensive placed, because they’ll let me in. Obviously, they think it’s because of Wik, which isn’t all that wrong,” he winked. “But we’re not friends, Chay, so you should never had felt in between, because you’re always going to be the person I choose. Whatever they said about you, they’re wrong. They wouldn’t know what love was even if it hit them in the back of the head.” He grinned hearing Chay’s beautiful laugh.
“Chay, my love, you are the kindest, funniest, most beautiful person I have ever met and know. You are perfect, even though you may not agree with me, and whatever they said about you is not true, it is the furthest from the truth. And I am sorry that they disrespected you like that. I love you so much and anyone who can’t see how wonderful you are is stupid.”
“I used to go out to clubs, drink, party, all the time, you know that. I had nothing better to do during that time, I did everything I could to keep myself at a distance from everyone else, to separate myself. But then I met you and I learned what it meant to be cared for and to be loved. With you, Chay, I learned what it meant to be myself and all of those things I used to do, didn’t matter anymore. If I want to go out, then I will but if I don’t, then I won’t but no one pushes me to do anything I don’t want to do, you know that.
“I am not afraid to be vulnerable with you, to be myself. Being myself is the easiest thing to do when I’m with you. I love you so much, Chay, even doing nothing is better than going out with them, and that will never ever change.”
“I love you, too,” Chay whispered before leaning in and closing the space between them, sighing in relief at the feeling of Kim’s plush lips.
“I will talk to them, though.”
Chay grasped Kim’s forearms, pulling them closer together. “No!”
“Angel,” he drawled fondly, the edge of his lips quirked upwards. “I’m not going to hurt them, I promised you I wouldn’t and I would never lie to you. I am just going to tell them that you should not be disrespected, and if they can’t do that, then well, then I will hurt them.”
“No hurting anyone,” Chay playfully growled as he straddled Kim’s knees.
“Okay, no hurting anyone,” Kim nodded along and grinned against Chay’s lips when he kissed him.
“I’m sorry for not telling you any sooner,” Chay apologised when he pulled back. “I’m sorry for ruining our evening.”
“It’s okay, we can go another time.” He pulled Chay on top of him, so the younger man could hear the vibrations through his chest. “I’m glad you told me now. I am going to marry you one day,” he said so casually and Chay turned red. The idea of marrying Kim one day excited him like no other. “You are the most important person in my life, you come first. Never doubt that, okay? I love you so much.”
“I love you too, P’Kim.”
And if Code and Jay ran away every time Chay walked passed them, then that was their problem.