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You had a little too much to drink that night. Not enough to make you lose your footing, but enough to cause a slight sway in your steps.
Earlier that evening you had an argument with Loki. A big one. He was being a jackass about your close friendship with Tony Stark, even going as far as implying you would happily sleep with him if he wasn't engaged to Pepper.
Snide remarks or teasing you could handle. Implying you'd sleep with your best friend and ruin the very lovely relationship between him and Pepper was just a blow below the belt, and apparently the last straw.
You were very close to breaking it off with Loki, just for that comment alone. You never expected he'd ever insult you the way he did that evening. You thought all this time your relationship was based on mutual trust, which now you knew wasn't the case. That is why you decided to get out, before either of you did something you both would regret.
You should have gone to Natasha or even Bucky. Instead, you went all the way downtown to drown your sorrow in cheap alcohol.
As you dragged your heavy feet back home, you knew you had made a mistake. You were always careful while out at night. It was supposed to be an escape from reality for at least an evening. You did not expect to be assaulted by the taxi driver that evening. You regretted not knowing how to fight and defend yourself. If any of your friends, or even Loki would kick your ass right now, you wouldn't even protest.
Not that you had the energy to protest at all anymore. You wished you had taken the bus or walked instead. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. Your whole body was hurting. Your nose and forehead were bleeding. Your clothes were torn and you had a feeling you might have a concussion. Maybe a broken rib as well. It hurt to breathe, but you had to get home.
The alcohol buzz had left your body by the time you reached your apartment building. You somehow made your way to your floor and stood in front of your apartment door. Your keys were in your purse, which you had left behind while you tried to get away from your attacker.
You weren't sure what time it was at that point. Was Loki even home? Maybe he left you after you had stormed out. Your shaking hand reached for your pocket, and a sob escaped your throat as you realised your phone was also in your purse. Your spare keys were at Tony's and you didn't have the strength to go all the way to Manhattan, nor a way to call him. You couldn't even possibly disturb the neighbours at such a late hour.
You gently banged your fist against the door as you couldn't hold the tears anymore. You slowly slid down to the floor. Everything hurt and you simply couldn't remain standing. What had you done to deserve this? You tried to think of reasons why you were assaulted and came up with nothing. It felt cruel. You felt lost and defeated. Maybe you should have called your friends instead of risking being out alone so late in the evening.
You ignored the soft click you heard. Then, all of a sudden, a pair of hands were around your shoulders and you jerked away, too stunned and terrified to look and see who it was.
"Y/N..." his gentle spoken voice caught your attention in your moment of panic. Your tears kept flowing down your cheeks and you didn't try to stop them.
Loki was kneeling before you, concern and worry visible on his face, while his hands stretched before him. You looked at him through your blurred vision. You wanted to reach out to him, to hide against his chest, but you couldn't move. Your body felt too stiff to attempt any movement.
The moment you hiccupped a sob, Loki's arms were around you. He pulled you against his chest with such gentleness, as if you were a delicate feather that might break at any given moment.
And that you were. Though you were already broken. There was no more reason for you to hold it back anymore. As Loki carried you inside your shared apartment, you cried against him.
He gently laid you down on the sofa and started inspecting you. You had your eyes closed as he silently traced his fingers over your face.
"It's okay." You heard him whisper. "It's going to be okay. I'm here."
You cried even more. Was it going to be okay, though? Just because he was there, it didn't mean your argument from earlier in the evening had magically disappeared.
"Darling," He wiped your tears, "Can you tell me where it hurts the most? Should I call for medical help?"
You shook your head and then nodded. You wanted to respond, but couldn't find your voice, so instead, you sobbed even more.
Loki carefully pulled you in his arms once more and sat down, holding you against his chest as you cried. He grabbed the phone from the side table and dialed a number. You heard him describe the situation without pleasantries. His tone was cold, but you couldn't bother trying to figure out whom he had on the other end.
"Help is coming." He whispered as he gently kissed your temple.
There was suddenly a wet washcloth against your skin. It felt pleasantly warm. Loki carefully wiped the blood off your face, making sure he wouldn't touch your forehead wound.
A knock on the door made him sigh and you simply clung to his chest even further. He strengthened the hold around you and waved a hand to open the door.
"Where is she?"
You gasped as you heard Tony's voice, followed by several footsteps.
"Keep your voice down, Stark," Loki said and you felt his body stiffen at that moment. You wished the ground would open and swallow you.
You didn't want Tony to know what had happened earlier that day between you and Loki.
There was a doctor accompanying Stark, which Loki recognised from having interacted with her in the past after a few missions where he or any of the team members had needed medical attention. She examined you for any broken bones, while Loki kept holding you. He then followed the instructions by first taking you to your room. He didn't leave your side while the doctor continued examining you.
One of the perks of being a Stark employee was that there were portable medical devices that the doctor had brought along with her. As she finished the initial check and scans, she smiled at you and turned to Loki.
"I would like to do further examination, and for that I'd like to ask you to wait outside."
"I'm not leaving her side."
"Mr. Odinson..."
"No."
The doctor stood before Loki, who easily towered over her. It didn't stop her, though, from glaring at him. "Mr. Odinson, in order to be able to do my work properly and to help your partner, I insist that you wait outside for a few minutes."
"What are you going to do?"
"Only a final examination." She was calm as she replied. "I promise it will not take long."
Loki looked at you for a moment. Most of your wounds seemed to be superficial and the doctor had already applied bandaids where needed. You were staring at a distance, not paying attention to the conversation next to you. It made his heart ache for you, for what had happened to you.
With a sigh, Loki nodded and stepped out of the room. He still didn't know what happened. He hadn't asked. You were in such a state a few minutes ago, that asking you what had happened was absolutely out of the question.
He opted to wait right outside the bedroom door, instead of going to the living room where Stark was waiting. His mind was full of thoughts about the assault you so obviously had encountered, and it filled him with rage. He clasped his hands as if to control them from punching the walls.
While you were gone in the evening, Loki had thought long and hard about the accusations he had thrown at you. He realised they were all unfounded and he had stepped over a line by insulting you. It hurt him as much as it hurt you the moment he had uttered the words. While waiting for you to come back, he was trying to figure out how to apologise to you for what he had said.
Stark has always been the perfect friend for you. Despite him being quite the playboy in the past, he had never made a move at you and never disrespected your relationship with Loki or even those before him. He treated you like an older brother. Loki had always admired the love and respect Stark had for you. Loki wondered what had changed that made him accuse you of being unfaithful, especially since you have never said or done anything to support that. Where did he get that feeling of jealousy? Why did it even become an issue? He was completely at loss and couldn't figure it out.
Despite being in a whirlwind of thoughts, he heard footsteps approaching.
"What happened?"
Loki looked up at Stark, who had come to join him in the corridor.
"I didn't ask. I called you instead."
"You mean this happened outside? You weren't together?"
"We had a fight."
Usually Tony would push to get answers. While curious why the two of you had fought, he also knew when it was a good time to keep his thoughts to himself. "I'll have FRIDAY pull up any surveillance she can find." He took his phone out and started tapping away. Once done, he put the phone back in his pocket and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.
The two men waited in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Once the doctor opened the door, Loki wanted to go back inside, but she held a palm up. "Hold on, we need to talk first."
Loki nodded and the three of them moved to the living room.
"There are no serious injuries, aside from a few superficial ones here and there. Thankfully none that needed stitching."
Both men nodded, while they listened carefully.
"There's a chance of a slight concussion, so I'm prescribing bed rest for at least two to three days. Depending on whether any symptoms develop, we'll pick it up from there. There's a significant chest bruise, but no broken ribs."
Both men sighed in relief.
"Now, I would usually talk about the next part privately, but knowing how close of a friend Mr. Stark is to the both of you, he'd probably go behind my back and check my report later." Tony gave her a guilty smile, to which she responded with a sigh. "To prevent that, I will speak in his presence. Is that alright with you, Mr. Odinson?"
Loki knew Stark always got the information he needed, no matter how private they were and how securely guarded. If it was digital, he would find it. "It is." He replied with a nod.
"Given the location and placements of the bruises I saw, I suspected..." she looked at them both before she continued, "well, I suspected sexual assault."
Loki stood up in a rush as anger instantly clouded his mind. How dare anyone force themselves on you?
The doctor saw the look of rage in Loki's eyes and quickly stepped closer to him, looking at him squarely. "Mr. Odinson, it did not happen." She reassured him. "Attempted, but it didn't happen."
"FRIDAY has some information. I'll go deal with the scumbag." Tony stood up. "Doc, need a lift?"
The doctor nodded and turned to Loki. "Be gentle. Medication will be delivered first thing in the morning alongside instructions. I'd recommend a warm bath for now and then sleep. I already administered some pain medication, so you should be good for the night."
"Thank you, doctor." Loki tried to sound calm, but he still couldn't fully shake the rage off his shoulders.
"I'll come back in two days for a follow up."
"And you'll see me once I'm done with whoever did this."
"Let me know once you have them." Loki and Tony shared a look of understanding. Despite Loki not completely being over the feeling of jealousy, he decided to put that aside for the time being. Right now you were his priority; not his feelings.
As soon as Stark and the doctor were gone, Loki rushed back to you. He gently closed the door behind him and found you sitting against the headboard of your bed, looking miserable and tired.
He gently sat down at your side and put his hand over your thigh, his palm up. You looked at it for a moment. He was silently asking for closeness. You couldn't find it in your heart to ignore it. While his words had hurt you, they were nowhere close to the agony you had just gone through in that taxi a few hours ago.
You put your hand in his palm and he wrapped his fingers around yours. He moved closer and brought your bruised knuckles to his lips, gently kissing them. That gesture broke all the walls you had ever built up that evening and you leaned forward. Loki wrapped an arm around you and held you against him, resting his cheek over your head.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there to prevent it and to protect you."
You knew none of this would have happened if you two hadn't fought. But you did and it had happened. There was no point in putting blame on either of you. All you wanted right then was to be held by him.
"As much as I want to know what happened right away, I suggest we speak of it after you take a bath and sleep."
You nodded. It seemed that your voice had left your body. It could have been the shock, the pain, or even the medication. A bath and some sleep were definitely what you needed.
Loki carefully brushed the hair off your face. With a gentle kiss against your forehead, he slowly let go of you. "Let me prepare the bath first."
You nodded and watched him disappear into the bathroom. A few minutes later he returned to you and carefully started taking off your torn and dirty clothes. "Tell me if I need to stop." You nodded and he continued until all your clothes were on the floor.
You watched his face as he then carried you to the bathroom and carefully lowered you into the bathtub. The moment the warm water hit your skin, you sighed and closed your eyes. Loki bathed you slowly, delicately. Every movement of his was careful and calculated. He didn't want to add to the physical pain you were experiencing. Once he was done, he helped you out and started drying your body and hair. He could have used magic to do so, but that would have been too fast and too easy. He needed this as much as you did.
He was drying your hair with the towel when a sob escaped you. Loki stopped and leaned down to look at you. "Darling, did I hurt you?"
You could feel the concern in his voice and could see it in his eyes. You shook your head and leaned against him. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight.
"Let's get you back to bed." He carried you back to the bedroom and put you down at the edge of the bed. He turned to grab your night clothes, but instead of waiting for him, you climbed further onto the bed and lay down.
"No clothes, I take it?"
You shook your head. Loki didn't say anything and took off his own clothes before he joined you. As soon as he was next to you, you pushed yourself closer to him, which prompted him to wrap his arms around you.
You needed to feel him. The warmth of his skin and the beat of his heart. You needed to smell him. You wanted to get rid of the images from the assault that kept playing in your mind. Even though you knew you were safe and at home, your mind kept dragging you back and Loki's presence was the only thing that gave you peace.
The next morning, when you woke, your whole body ached. You felt like you were run over by a tank. The groan that left your lips stirred Loki at your side and his arms wrapped gently around you without a thought.
The memories from the night before had you instantly open up your eyes. Being cocooned in Loki’s embrace, you relaxed a little. Loki seemed to have felt you were awake and started nuzzling your head.
"Did yesterday happen?" You asked in a whisper.
"Yes."
You sighed once again. You were supposed to be angry with him, not curling up against him like you were trying to absorb the warmth in bed.
You slowly moved, pushing yourself away and sitting up.
"Darling, you should rest. Whatever you need, I can bring it." He offered.
"Bathroom."
Your reply sounded cold to your ears, but you couldn't help it. Despite that, Loki was instantly out of bed and at your side. His hand was hovering at your back as he walked with you to the bathroom, only to stop at the door as you went in and closed it. You avoided looking at him. Your conflicted feelings and the ache in your body were fighting for dominance. Should you be feeling distant because every movement you made hurt? Or because of your fight yesterday?
After you were done, you walked back into the bedroom and Loki helped you back into bed.
"What can I get you?" He asked as he pulled the cover to your chest. You were still naked, while he had already put on his boxer shorts.
"Nothing." You leaned against the headboard and watched him climb into bed to sit next to you.
The two of you were silent for a while, before Loki decided to speak. He needed to make things right.
"I'm sorry about yesterday."
"Which part of it?"
He looked at you, then turned his gaze to his lap.
"All of it. None of this would have happened if I didn't behave like a total ass." He turned to look at you again. "But most of all, I'm sorry for insulting you the way I did."
You looked down as you swallowed the lump in your throat.
"You really hurt me last night."
"I realised it the moment you stepped out of the door. To top it all, I was a coward and did not come after you. I should have." He replied immediately.
"No. It would have gotten worse if you did." You looked at him, your eyes stinging with tears that threatened to fall. You felt hurt, both physically and emotionally. You didn't even know the reason behind it all.
"I don't even know what prompted it, Loki." You said in a whisper.
"Me neither, darling." Loki took your hand in his and you allowed it. "The whole evening, I kept thinking back, trying to understand what made me say those atrocious things. Why did I give voice to thoughts that hold no merit? I couldn't find an answer."
"It doesn't erase the fact that you said them."
"No, it doesn't and I will forever blame myself for causing such agony."
He looked at you and you could see the pain in his eyes. You desperately wanted to forgive and forget, but the metaphorical wound was still fresh.
It seemed like Loki understood what was going in your mind. “Is there any way I can work on gaining your forgiveness?”
You sighed. “I need you to understand one thing clearly, Loki.” You told him, looking into his eyes. “Tony is my best friend. He has been and will always be. Please, never, ever accuse me of infidelity or even suggest it to be a possibility. I am not that kind of a person.” You held his gaze as you spoke. “I love you, Loki. My heart, body and soul belong to you. But never make me choose between the two of you. I’d rather die.” Loki was shaking his head and was about to say something, but you held you hand up, stopping him. “I mean it. Both of you are important to me, but it’s you I come back home to.”
Loki nodded, holding your hand. “I understand.” He replied, running his thumb over your skin. “I shouldn’t have let my insecurities get the best of me. I will try to do better. You have my word.”
The sincerity of his words was evident on his face. You knew things between the two of you would get better soon. You finally smiled, reaching up to cup his cheek with one hand and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes.
You leaned forward and lightly kissed his lips. “I’m still cross with you, so that’s all you’re getting for now.” The corner of your lips curved upwards when he pouted slightly. “Don’t give me that look. I’m in pain. You should care for me.” You lay down on the bed and Loki was quick to help you get comfortable.
“I will be here at all times, my love.” He brushed your hair away from your face and leaned down to kiss your forehead. “I love you.” He declared, which made your heart flutter, like it always did when Loki uttered those words.
“I love you, too.” You smiled, before you closed your eyes to try and get some much needed rest. You can start working on forgiving him once your body hurt less.