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It was a dark winter’s evening and like every other evening, Favourite stumbled down the dimly lit slums of Paris on the way to collect what food she could. During this time, she always reflected on the life she used to lead. The men and women she used to work and play with. The fun she had. But fun is temporary and now Favourite feels incredibly old. Paris was a completely different place from the place she knew when she was a young grisette.
As many young ladies did at the time, Favourite had fun for a few years but then knew she had to settle down and marry and so she did. But her husband died a couple of years later, leaving her alone and almost destitute. As many newly married ladies do, Favourite left her job so the death of her husband was much more of a shock to the system. Not all was lost however, Favourite was able to pick up some casual sewing work, the wages from which she went straight to her rent. This meant that she would spend most of the time hungry so she, like thousands of other Parisians, relied on charity.
The mood at the church had been solemn ever since the news that the giant of the man who used to give them their bread passed away. A less enthused church boy had taken over but he was not as charitable nor as pleasant. He preached at how the poor deserved to be poor, how God was using them as a lesson. Favourite hated this preaching but yet she had no other choice but to continue to go. Favourite missed the Monsieur, he used to hold her hand and pray for her.As well as lent a listening ear. Being with the monsieur was like being with an old familiar friend and she needed one of those. His death hit Favourite hard as well as a lot of people he used to help. Favourite had accepted all the charity she could since the poor man’s death and the evening of this story was no different. Favourite did what she always did and seeked someone who could help give her some scraps. But when Favourite walked to the church where there was always someone handing out bread she was faced by a young elegant lady. Not any old young elegant lady, a ghost. A ghost from her past. No. It could not be! Favourite thought, turning around before she could even take some bread, she suddenly did not feel at all hungry.
Cosette grieved the loss of her dear papa for as long as she could stomach. But when she heard of the dire situation on the outside, she knew she had to act in a way that would make Paris a better place. She started inquiring into what works her papa did, the communities he used to go to help. Cosette learnt so much and the pride filled her so much. With Marius’ blessing, Cosette became a patron to alm houses and other charities to help the poor. She was brought up poor, her mother died due to the cruel injustice of poverty and Cosette was prepared to prevent it from happening to anyone else. Money was not just the answer however. For a while it was helping to satiate Cosette’s guilt about living in luxury when those around her were suffering. But soon Cosette knew she had to do more. She had to go out in the community to help. And so Cosette headed to the streets, to where her papa once did the same job.
Favourite tossed and turned that whole night. Not because her tummy was empty but because she was wrapped with guilt. What felt like a lifetime ago, Favourite had a friend. A younger friend that she misled. Oh sweet Fantine! Favourite could see her face plain as day. Her glowing soft skin, those pink lips. From the first day that Fantine started working in the factory alongside Favourite, Favourite took her in as a friend. Invited her out to dances and parties, and shared her experiences, her knowledge. And oh how the experiences were beautiful. The wine was always sweet back then. Then one hot summer came along. Like previous summers passed, Favourite thrived in the attention that the men would give her. The spoils she could get for just laughing at their petty little jokes. The fragility of masculinity would entertain Favourite more than the men she would share her time with. She felt secure in what she was doing. Favourite however did not express amusement in what she was doing to her newly dear friend Fantine who fell right in love. Favourite knew she was in love, she knew she should warn her naive friend that these men wanted nothing but fun but she did not. It was not her place to say. For all Favourite knew, this was just part of Fantine’s way of playing. But she should have known! She scolded herself now, haunted by the charitable face in the crowd. Guilt climbed in her chest.
The sound of a babies’ cry always upset Favourite. But when it was her dear Fantine’s, she had to try and be happy for her. She knew deep down that this would never end well but she could do nothing. The damage was already done. Fantine was tainted with a child she would have to bring up on her own. If Favourite would keep thinking about Fantine and the young baby, the guilt would have consumed her, so she tried to forget it. But the young lady at the church looked so much like Fantine that the guilt came flooding back. Her feelings of guilt for mistakes in the past were heightened with the sound of a baby’s cry in the distance haunted her. It brought her back to when she was introduced to Fantine’s sweet baby; Euphraise was her name if she remembered correctly. Favourite did not take much heed on the baby. She only met her a number of times but Fantine was so in love with her little angel. Despite knowing deep down that her life would have to change completely. Fantine was so strong, so brave. The love a mother has for their child knows no bounds and Favourite could admire that in Fantine.
Favourite encouraged by her stomach plucked up the courage to go back to the church the next evening. The ghost was there again! This time, Favourite stood back to have a look at her. The lady would have been around the same age as Fantine would be. Favourite’s heart was breaking as she watched this friendly, almost familiar face helping those poor souls who like Favourite had very little. She was swamped by hungry figures, looking for a meal. Favourite watched from her distance for a while and then decided that even though she was hungry, she could not face speaking to a ghost so she turned to leave, but as she did, a voice called to her. Her voice, so softly spoken “Madame, do you want some bread?” Favourite stood still, the young lady had obviously spotted her in the crowd and came over. Her eyes started to well up as she turned around to gaze at this familiar ghostly face. “Fantine?” she whispered, “no you cannot be Fantine. There’s no way, it is not possible!”
With the sound of her mother’s name, Cosette was taken aback. No one had ever spoken about it since her dear papa. She never thought anyone even knew her mother’s name. Would have remembered her. Especially not in Paris!
“Fantine…” she repeated the name, almost to herself. Cosette could see that this lady was clearly distraught and knew she had to remain strong. “I think you are mistaken, madam. I am not Fantine. If you are speaking of the same Fantine I know, I am Fantine’s daughter, Cosette.” And with this, the frail madame fell into Cosette’s arms, weeping.
Favourite remembered the exact day that Fantine’s life fell apart. When that wretched man abandoned her. Favourite remembers being so amused by the situation. It was a fun trick to pull for her. She still had control of her honour. Of her reputation. Fantine on the other hand had not. Favourite had not thought of it at the time whenever she toasted Tholomyes. She selfishlessly did not think of her poor friend standing beside her, left with a child. Nor at the time, did she really care. Favourite was young, careless, not a worry in the world. She knew she could pick up another young man just as quickly as Blacheville left her. Yet Fantine. Fantine had a child that she had no means to support. She thought Tholomyes would stay forever and yet Favourite had no thought to warn her when they started this whole affair.
At the beginning, each night they danced and drank and had fun. Favourite was a good dancer back in her youth. She was good at everything. Oh to be joyous and youthful once again. She would always get so lost in the music. She had vivid memories of taking Fantine by the hands and dancing with her, her heart swelling in her chest as she fell in love with the music, with the situation. They were careless and Favourite knew this is how they attracted the three men. They were free spirited. The years went on and Favourite married her young one true love. The one man that could make her smile. She had forgotten all about Fantine and her dilemma. She, just like everyone else in society, had abandoned poor Fantine. She did once or twice try to find her but she never could track her down. The poor girl must have run away, Favourite assumed. Escaped Paris. The naive side of her liked to believe that Fantine had run and made a name for herself but she knew that this was unlikely the case. She knew deep down what had happened to Fantine before she was even told.
Cosette managed to calm the lady down eventually, guiding her inside of the church for some refuge and privacy. This woman knew her mother and Cosette knew that she needed to find out more. “What is your name, Madame?” She asked cautiously, trying to make sure that the woman would not take another weeping fit.
Favourite stared at her. “Are you really her daughter? I am so sorry.” She tried to wipe her tears. “Favourite. My name is Favourite.”
“Madame. Why are you apologising?” Cosette asked, giving her the handkerchief she had carried with her. “It is lovely to meet you, Favourite… Did you know my mother?”
“A long, long time ago. It feels like another world now. I remember you too. When you are just a babe. Oh how your mother doted on you!” Favourite started to smile remembering hearing the lullabies that dear Fantine would sing. She was a great singer. The voice of an angel. No doubt this lady could also sing.
Cosette’s eyes widened “You knew her? Did you know what happened to my mother?” The question Favourite knew was coming yet did not want to have to answer nor want to hear the answer to. She deliberated lying to this young girl. To tell Cosette that her mother ran away, that Favourite had nothing to do with whatever happened to dear Fantine. But deep down she knew that this young lady, this beautiful, graceful young lady that reminded Favourite of her dear love friend; the truth, no matter how it would make her look. So Favourite plucked up the courage and told her everything that she knew. And in return, Cosette told of her horrid upbringing and the tragic fate of her mother. The story that Cosette told made Favourite sick to her stomach. She knew that Fantine would have been in dire straits but she abandoned her sweet girl to complete strangers! To a disgusting conman. Cosette was clearly distraught when talking about her childhood but never spoke a bad word about her mother.
By the end of the conversation, the two of them were both weeping. Weeping for the friend and mother that they had lost. Favourite admired Cosette. She reminded her of Fantine but with more reservation. The lady was married! So young compared to her at that age. So young compared to her mother. She was sensible. Cosette was also head over heels in love with the man she married. Favourite could see it in her mannerisms when she brought up her husband’s name.
Cosette had then invited Favourite back to her home for a proper meal and Favourite gratefully accepted. Favourite had not been to such a nice home in a very long time. There was a lot of luxury here that Favourite had missed. Soft furnishings. A roaring fire. The smell of fresh flowers. But even though it was luxurious, there was something humble to it. Favourite felt safe here. Cosette introduced Favourite to her husband who turned out to be another hopeless romantic type. The both of them had such optimistic plans. To start charities, to change Paris for the good. It would never happen but Favourite was not one to break their dreams. The spread of food that they set out for Favourite made her feel like she was twenty again. She tried to resist digging in so eagerly but with the sight of such good looking bread Favourite could just not help herself. Being here in this house brought her back. She did not want to take advantage of Cosette’s generosity and had no way to pay her back yet to decline the effort and the food would be disrespectful too. So Favourite accepted the food and the warm welcoming that Cosette and her husband Marius had given her. Including a warm bed for a couple of nights until they could find a way to assist her, which they did.
Years passed and Favourite kept in touch with her dear friend’s daughter. She started calling Cosette her goddaughter knowing Fantine would have consented to that. Although Cosette needed no watchful eye, she was intelligent and knew how to hold herself enough without Favourite’s help. Favourite always thought about the man that Cosette called papa and the good work he did in bringing up such an elegant, well spoken lady. Cosette was one of the lucky ones. Cosette had helped Favourite keep a roof over her head. She had offered to take her in, to live with her and her family. But that would have felt wrong. Favourite also rejected the offer of Cosette paying her rent. So instead, Cosette hired Favourite as her personal seamstress and paid handsomely for her services. As well as sewing, Favourite would give tips on areas that needed Cosette’s help. Favourite was there for Cosette’s first child, Cosette’s other milestones. This felt like a family that Favourite could have had but yet due to her choices and the harsh conditions of society, could not. Fantine lived deep inside Cosette, her daughter had her character. Favourite could not have ever imagined that her old friend could be so alive. Being around Cosette and her family, made Favourite feel safe, made her feel at home. And she knew that Fantine’s ghost would have been happy to know that she found her place.