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Shi Qingxuan’s cane sunk into the wet sand. He was careful with his steps, as the uneven terrain threatened to throw off his gait altogether. Sunset was already dimming into the early evening. The light caught his graying hair which made him appear older than he was. As a beggar, he could see the comfort of sleeping on the shore. The ground was still warm and far softer than the streets or abandoned temples and city streets he become accustomed to. Over the years, he had come to appreciate the smell of the sea.
Resting his cane on the ground beside him, Shi Qingxuan sat on the beach and watched as the sunset was replaced by the moonlight shimmering over the water. Then, at last, a figure clothed fully in black disturbed the reflection.
“He Xuan, you’re late.”
At his full height, he towered over Shi Qingxuan. Soundlessly, he emerged from the water, his clothes and hair completely dry as he sat beside him on the shore.
“I was eating,” He said.
Shi Qingxuan laughed faintly. “You can’t tell a beggar that and not bring me anything.”
He Xuan made a sound of disdain. In short order, there was a small fire with roasting fish on the beach. Shi Qingxuan was happily eating, sharing the weak drink he had bought with some of the coins he had saved. He was far from “the young lord who pours wine,” but still grateful for the meal and a listening ear.
He talked about what had transpired since their last meeting. He made the common disputes between the other beggars as intricate as the petty disputes between the gods. Since the human array incident, Shi Qingxuan’s comrades had less reverence for divinity, having seen that the gods were little different than themselves.
He Xuan listened cautiously. More reserved, he was comfortable listening and Shi Qingxuan was prone to talking. It was reminiscent of their days in the court, several lifetimes ago. But while he talked, He Xuan paid attention to his appearance. This life took its toll. Shi Qingxuan’s limbs never recovered. He was growing older, and his lifestyle didn’t sustain a long life.
“He Xuan?” he said. “Are you even listening?”
“Hmm, I’m waiting for you to say something interesting.”
“This is why you don’t have any visitors.”
He Xuan didn’t reply to the playful insult. Shi Qingxuan reached into his sleeve and removed the old familiar fan. Quietly he held it out to He Xuan.
“I’ve told you before it’s not mine. I’m not taking it”
Shi Qingxuan sighed. “I’m not giving it to you, I’m lending it to you,” He said. “Do you know what I have to go through to make sure no one steals my few possessions? Yes, I trust the friends who know me at the temple, but do you know how often people see a beggar and decide to rob him of the little he has? Not to gain anything, just for the sake of it!” He Xuan pretended to be disinterested as Shi Qingxuan continued to ramble. “I think it’s quite commendable I’ve been able to hold onto this so long with nothing happening. I’ll wait for the thank you. But in all honestly, I do want you to hold onto it for me. At least until the next time we meet.”
He Xuan took the fan. “I’m going to give this back.”
Shi Qingxuan smiled and poured another drink for the both of them.
***
The first time Shi Qingxuan visited, his good leg trembled so forcefully, he feared tumbling down the dune into the open water. The terror he had felt in Blackwater’s lair returned. But he also remembered the royal capital, and all the opportunities He Xuan had to end his life and didn’t. It was enough to keep him from fleeing.
Stopping just at the shoreline, he removed a beautifully lacquered but broken fan from his sleeve. Its elegance clashed against the patched and weathered clothes he wore. He held it so tightly that it left an imprint on his palm as he unfolded his hand to examine it. No residual power remained, so its comfort was solely sentimental. If he unfolded it, the cracks along the joint would likely tear it apart further. It had always matched him, now he couldn’t help but see the irony of his former glory reflected in it.
He wanted to spend the rest of his life never being reminded of the heavenly court, of never being reminded of Him. But since the battle of the heavens, that dream was already gone. Though he hadn’t seen He Xuan, he knew in his heart he had been at Puqi shrine. He trembled, retracting the newly returned fan from his sleeve—he needed to end this one way or another.
“He Xuan, I know you’re there.” His voice wavered terribly.
When he thought nothing would happen, the man he had feared for the past year rose from the depths. He was not Ming Yi, having shed that disguise long ago. His face was grim and stern in the darkness, like a predator sizing its prey. Instinctively, Shi Qingxuan took a step back, falling backward. He still held the fan and thrust it forward. Not defensively, but as an offering.
“You gave this back to me,” Shi Qingxuan’s voice wavered, betraying his nervousness, “I want to give it back. It’s not mine anymore.”
He Xuan didn’t reach for it.
“I said I didn’t want it anymore.”
“I know,” He Xuan said. His voice had a heavy rasp that was startling in the quiet.
When it was clear He Xuan wouldn’t react, Shi Qingxuan felt a series of conflicting emotions. A wave of uncharacteristic anger. He wanted to throw the fan at him, bat at this distance, he would be lucky if it reached the lapping waves dividing them. Then he remembered all the times he had chided Ming Yi for his standoffish nature. Now those memories filled him with immense sadness and loneliness.
He relaxed his shoulders with a sigh. “Is that all you have to say?”
In the darkness, Shi Qingxuan could barely make out his form, much less the neutral expression on his face.
“Why have you come here?” He Xuan said at last.
Shi Qingxuan gave a nervous laugh out of habit. He had been asking himself the same question. Now that he was here the absurdity of it all struck him.
He placed the fan next to him on the sand. “I have been thinking about it for a long while. I must admit I’m still terrified of you. If I could run right now I would,” he said, “I should be afraid, you could have killed me at any time. But you haven’t, even though you’ve had the perfect opportunity twice. Three if you count now.”
The entire time he spoke, Shi Qingxuan looked down at the water, afraid to meet He Xuan’s eyes.
“So, I want to know why.”
He turned his head up at the sound of movement. He Xuan had turned away, preparing to descend again.
“Wait!”
“I didn’t come here for this,” He Xuan said.
“Stop!” Shi Qingxuan lurched forward. With only one hand to support him, he stumbled forward into the water. Taking no heed of it, the tide rose and swept away the fan.
The ghost king complied.
“I don’t know,” He said, “I don’t know why I’m still here.”
He Xuan did not turn back to face him. With the taste of seawater in his mouth, Shi Qingxuan regained his balance and returned to a sitting position. His clothes were already soaked through, so he didn’t care about the tide.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me anymore. You have a mortal life now, take care of it.” And he descended back into the sea, leaving Shi Qingxuan on the beach.
The following night, Shi Qinxuan arrived again. At first, He Xuan didn’t appear. Growing tired, Shi Qingxuan fell asleep on the beach. When he awoke, he found himself placed higher up on the shore away from the tide. His crutch had been laid next to him.
The footsteps of whoever had moved him had been washed away. The only evidence was the fan’s return. After He Xuan’s departure, he was unable to locate it. There was only one person who could have returned it.
The subsequent nights, Shi Qinxuan camped out on the shore for several days. Sometimes he wondered how the other beggars he befriended were doing. He hadn’t expected to be away this long and hadn’t told them where he would be. He wondered if anyone was looking for him, or if they had assumed he left to find greener pastures. One of the local fishermen had offered him some old netting and hook out of pity for his sorry state. It wasn’t necessary. While he hadn’t seen He Xuan since their first meeting, every morning he woke to freshly caught fish prepared for him. It frightened him that he hadn’t awoken. But if he had wanted to kill him once and for all, he had the perfect opportunity. If he wanted him to suffer, why keep him well-fed?
“Why are you still here?” He Xuan finally said after a fortnight of this.
It was early dusk when he appeared. Shi Qingxuan was startled but not as much as their first meeting.
“I could ask you the same. And you haven’t answered my original question”
He Xuan gritted his teeth. “I already told you I don’t know.”
“Alright, but if your revenge is complete why are you following me? Why do you bring me food every night? Why give this back to me? Isn’t my current state meant to be the point?”
The ghost king felt rage at the questions. But Shi Qingxuan remained where he was. He had already shown his obstinacy.
“I never planned for what would happen after my revenge.”
“Then we are both fools.”
“It would seem so”
“What was it that you said that night?” Shi Qingxuan said. “The night you left me in the royal capital?”
Shi Qingxuan was sure that He Xuan would say it was irrelevant. That his catatonic state meant there was nothing really to say or that he misremembered. “If you would have stayed with the Rain Master, I would have preferred it. I would have left you out of it,” The words were almost lost to the waves, so faint that Shi Qingxuan thought he had misheard or even invented them.
“He Xuan, we both know there was no leaving me out of it. Even if I had stayed with the Rain Master. Did you intend to continue being Ming Yi after your revenge? Or pretend to be a simple farmer with me on her lands?”
“Perhaps, it’s not something I would have minded.”
Shi Qingxuan was shocked. He thought a while, about how to respond.
“As painful as it was, I think I prefer this,” he said, “Because this is the only way I would know that you’re not pretending. It’s the first I’ve seen you clearly.”
He Xuan studied him carefully, “I think you truly did go mad.”
***
Shi Qingxuan left the beach to return to the royal capital. The other beggars, upon seeing his return, shouted their complaints and relief. They thought he met an unsavory end, caught by someone who had chosen to take advantage of his vulnerability. Others thought he had gone mad as in his early days in the capital, bringing himself somehow to worse ruin than he already had.
He stayed in the city for some time, but he would find himself spending more time at the pier. His friends became concerned he was contemplating drowning himself, but he always returned in good spirits. After a while, his occasional disappearances became just another quirk of ol’Feng.
***
The stone skipped further than his younger brother’s had.
“No fair! You know my good arm is still in a cast.”
“You couldn’t throw before you broke your arm.”
Shi Qingxuan pouted, but couldn’t hold it for long as he started to laugh.
“Is that why you wanted to come here? So you could beat me at skipping stones?”
“It was your idea in the first place.”
The splash of the third stone interrupted the argument. It skidded further than both brothers’ stones had.
“He Xuan, looks like you won the bet.” Shi Qingxuan said.
Shi Wudu made a sound of annoyance. “I left my wallet in the car, I need to go get it.”
“Yeah, do that.” He Xuan reaffirmed.
The elder brother glared back, so Shi Qingxuan interjected. “I want to keep exploring the beach, He Xuan come with me”
With his good arm, he grabbed He Xuan’s hand and headed to the small pier.
Once they were a ways from his brother, Shi Qingxuan stopped. “I know you don’t like him, but just for me can you try to get along with him? He’ll be heading back overseas soon.”
“I’m not sure I can do that,” He Xuan said, softening to add “But I can try.”
“That’s good enough.”
Taking off his shoes, Shi Qingxuan stepped into the waves, feeling the water splash over his skin. After the biking accident, he still had to wear the cast on his arm, but he was finally able to leave behind the crutches. His leg still bothered him from time to time, but if he took it easy, the doctors assured him he would be back to normal in a year. This vacation was long overdue, and his brother’s mood wasn’t going to ruin it.
As the wind picked up, he closed his eyes and spread out his free arm. The smell of the sea calmed him and he breathed in deeply. He kept his eyes closed for several moments until he felt something touch his ankle.
He opened his eyes and saw a tattered fan floating in the water. Quickly, he picked it up from the waves before it could be pulled back by the tide. The fan was damaged, but it did nothing to detract from its beauty. It was finely crafted. The broken joints made opening it difficult, but he could glimpse that some character was written on its interior. He assumed it was a replica of some sort, carelessly lost to the sea.
The sound of splashing drew his attention. Looking up, he saw a figure dressed in black standing before him. To Shi Qingxuan, he appeared unaffected by the water that lapped around him. His clothing and hair were dry, and just faintly, if Shi Qingxuan focused enough, the sunlight seemed to pass through him.
The sight chilled him. If he were able to move his legs, he would have run to the car and begged his brother to drive them away as soon as possible. But the man’s stare transfixed him. There was a hunger there, immensely deep and as vast as the depths of the sea. It should have frightened them, but he only felt a keen sadness.
“What’s this?” He Xuan looked at the fan.
They both heard a loud crack from the wood. “Do you think you can fix it?” Shi Qingxuan said, “You work on restorations right?”
“I can try. This isn’t the kind of thing the museum takes in, but I can work on it after hours.”
At the news, Shi Qingxuan hugged his arm again.
“I’d like that”