Archive of Our Own

Cody was preparing for a mission, but he couldn't help but stop and stare at Quinlan Vos. Obi-Wan's best friend, and frequent visitor, especially since it was often convenient for him to just stop with the 212th between missions rather than return all the way to Coruscant. Sometimes he stayed to help out.

The war was dragging on, everyone was showing signs of the wear of war. Of exhaustion, of losing hope. Even Quinlan did, and he was one of the most cheerful beings Cody had ever met. Always able to find a bright side.

He was, in many ways, a lot like Obi-Wan, and it was clear why they were best friends. But in other ways... Cody couldn't help but admire how Quinlan treated shinies, how he played around and lightened the mood. Couldn't help but be intrigued by how Quinlan was the only one who could get Obi-Wan to relax, to get him to stop working and go to bed.

Cody took many notes on what worked when he observed and applied them himself later. Yep, the unconventional ways Quinlan preferred worked far better than any threats of the medics which often seemed to make Obi-Wan withdraw, stress, and exhaust himself even more. 

Cody could have fallen in love with his own general. He wouldn't have been the first. But... Obi-Wan was more like a brother, a mentor, at best. He was gentle and treated them all kindly, but there was no... spark. No romance, or interest in sex. 

And in general, any feelings Cody had at the start quickly faded as they spent more time together, as he learned about his bad traits. The last of the feelings were crushed upon his first meeting with Quinlan. 

Not only did he reveal another side to Obi-Wan that Cody had no clue about, he was simply amazing. He didn't care about boundaries. Well, he did, he just didn't treat people gently and like they were made of glass about it. He just went with what he wanted until people told him they were uncomfortable. 

It was... nice. Cody found he didn't mind Quinlan hanging all over him all the time. That it was nice to know that he could tell Quinlan to back off. And it was amusing that everyone assumed he was irritated and hated Quinlan's antics and Quinlan was overstepping. Which was so far from the truth, though no one else needed to know that. 

On top of how brilliant Quinlan was, and his crazy brand of affection, there was how attractive he was. The easy way he interacted with everyone. How confident he was, and yet, Cody would never forget how gently and kindly he treated younglings they encountered one mission. 

It was a whole different side of Quinlan, a softer side. Cody wanted to know more about that side of him. Why he hid how sweet he really was under all that chaos and mischief. 

And he was staring because he liked to watch Quinlan. Liked watching his laugh, and smile. How others reacted to him. 

He looked down at his work, face burning when Quinlan glanced his way. His heart was pounding. Quinlan was amazing. 

What was this feeling? Cody worked, trying to get something done before worrying about that strange feeling. 

"Nervous, Commander Cody?" Obi-Wan asked lightly as he stepped up.

Cody frowned. "Kind of? I don't know. It's not about the mission?"

"Oh? So what's going on?" Quinlan asked, appearing out of normal, his usual grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around Cody.

Cody didn't even jump as this had become normal. "Well... I was thinking about a person?"

"Oh, a crush is it?" Quinlan asked, grinning. "Who?"

Cody felt his face burn even more. "I know what a crush feels like... this is different. And I'm not telling you, I'm still... trying to sort this out."

"We can probably help," Obi-Wan offered. "Can you describe how you feel?"

"Uh, well, I want to be near this person all the time, and I want to see them laugh and smile, be happy. I haven't seen them sad, but I'm certain I'd want to help in any way possible. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes off of them."

Obi-Wan's eyebrow went up and he looked between Quinlan and Cody. He smirked, but didn't say anything, choosing to keep his suspicion to himself. He could always ask Cody another time.

Cody tried to think of other ways to describe this feeling. "I don't know. I've never felt anything like this before. It's like... my heart aches with all these feelings that come up with I look at h-them."

Obi-Wan hummed. "Would you do anything for them? Could you see yourself taking a blaster for them like you would your brothers?"

Cody blinked, then nodded. "Yeah, I can see that... I'd do anything to keep them happy." 

"And what do you want to do with these feelings? Be friend? Date?"

"Uh..." Cody closed his eyes and considered what he wanted to do with Quinlan. "Dates, yeah... Cuddling, lots of cuddling. I guess I'd want to try a relationship and see how far it went? And I wouldn't want it to end at the same time."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Congratulations, Cody. You're in love with this mystery person. It's your first love, I take it?"

Cody blinked, then nodded. "I guess it is. ...I hope it doesn't interfere with my job."

"Aw, it won't, not if you don't let it. That's why we meditate," Quinlan replied cheerfully. "And why we spend as much time with friends and family as we can. And why we always go over expectations and generally lay out what's acceptable loss and what's not, to help avoid self sacrifice because people sometimes get a bit crazier about those they love romantically than they do their own friends and family they love."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "He's right. That's a large part of how we handle things."

"Because the problem isn't love, isn't emotions, is it?" Cody said, things clicking into place finally. "The problem is how you handle love, much like how breaking things and people in anger isn't acceptable, so is sacrificing duty for love." So that was why Anakin believed the Jedi didn't do relationships, but many Jedi talked as if they did. They wanted him to handle it maturely and he refused. It also explained why Obi-Wan knew about Anakin's relationship and either seemed amused or hurt depending on the day and how it came up. 

"Precisely." Quinlan grinned. "You'd make a good Jedi, Cody."

"I don't have the Force."

"Jedi do follow the Force, but a lot of our tenets are about more than following the Force, mostly about serving the galaxy and avoiding going down a bad path by indulging in negative emotions too much." Obi-Wan explained. "We will be perfectly happy to accept any clones who want to be a Jedi once the war is over and you're free to choose."

Cody smiled at the idea. He could stay in touch with Obi-Wan, but even better, he could be close to Quinlan and make sure he stayed safe. 

But he didn't think he wanted to act on his feelings or anything. Quinlan was something special. He didn't seem interested in relationships, and he didn't need to worry about Cody's feelings. 

So Cody planned on keeping these feelings to himself and never revealing just who it was he loved.

He checked the time. "It's time to start moving." 

"Ah, yes,  you do the honors, Commander." Obi-Wan smiled at him as he double checked their preparations. 

Cody put on his bucket and let everyone know it was time to go. He watched the camp scramble, aware that Quinlan was still hanging on him, that Quinlan's head was just about on his shoulder. It was nice. The only way to make it better was if he could actually feel it as more than just added weight to his armor.

Quinlan patted his shoulder as they reached the front of the troopers. "Don't worry this is going to work out just fine." He had a smile on his face, a cheerful note in his voice. But something about that seemed forced.

"Somehow I get the feeling you feel it's not going to work out," Cody responded. 

Quinlan let his shoulders drop. "A bad feeling in the Force. No actual ideas what it is about, but something is going to go wrong, and possibly in a way that we can't salvage."

"You and O-General Kenobi are brilliant, I am sure we will pull through."

"Don't forget yourself, Cody. You are the only clone I've ever met to fling themselves at droids without any weapons. You will lead everyone as well as always, it's not just Obes who sees everyone through."

Cody felt his cheeks burned even as he beamed at the complement under his bucket. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't sir me," Quinlan replied automatically. 

Knowing that he loved Quinlan, knowing he would do anything for Quinlan, this time, this time Cody decided he would see if Quinlan was actually uncomfortable with it.

"Don't like titles?"

"Not among friends," Quinlan admitted quietly, staring ahead as they walked. Obi-Wan was on Cody's other side, but focused on something else. 

"Oh, really?"

"I'll do it for meetings and stuff, but I don't like being formal with friends all the time. Probably the Kiffar in me." 

"Kiffar?"

"Oh, yeah, Kiffar are very informal outside of introductions, and can barely keep to the minimum formalities when meeting with other systems. In fact, they're so informal that how formal they are indicates how they feel about someone. Nicknames are for trust and friendship that go a bit beyond the typical for many, though not everyone likes nicknames. And that's always made the most sense to me so that's what I do. It also helps make sure people underestimate me so it works well."

Cody blinked, then nodded. He thought over all the ways Quinlan had referred to other people since they'd met. Obi-Wan had always been Obes or Obi. The masters of the Council were just their names, sometimes nicknames, that was interesting. Very few senators were anything but Senator, and those few exceptions seemed to be friends with Obi-Wan as well. 

But then there was no more time to think as the battle was on. 

.

Cody groaned as he came back to consciousness. His head throbbed, and his body ached. As his memories came back, he realized he didn't hurt as much as he expected. 

"You're awake!" Quinlan appeared at his side, hovering worriedly. "I wasn't sure you would wake up any time soon."

Cody blinked at him. "Uh... what are you doing here?"

"I'm the only reason you're not dead. Sure, everything had gone wrong from the beginning, but we were still accomplishing our goals, so I decided that making sure you survived that fall was a better use of my skills." Quinlan glanced up at the mountains, where the bridge Cody had fallen from, and Quinlan had jumped from, was visible between two high points. 

Cody groaned. "Well... I guess it could be worse."

Quinlan grinned. "That's the spirit. You're mostly bruised, a couple of fractures, I'd say, but I saved you from the worst." 

"That's good... Are we going to have to climb back up?"

"Probably, I can't get anyone over comms."

Cody groaned yet again. "Am I going to be able to walk?"

"We'll see. I can carry you if not. And anyways, we're not going anywhere until morning. We have a storm rolling in fast, I can see the ocean waves rising..." Quinlan seemed a bit unsettled by that.

Cody blinked. "Oh... not sure I've experienced a storm on land before."

"Well, guess you get to experience it now. I'm going to make sure we're secure in this little cave so we don't get trapped or something. Do you need anything?"

Cody pushed himself up and shifted to lean on the nearest rock. "Got any water?"

"Ah, yes, I do, here you are." Quinlan pulled a water bottle out of nowhere.

Cody stared. "Where...?"

Quinlan chuckled. "I carry a small survival pack everywhere. Most people overlook it. We'll be fine, I'll see if we can collect some water overnight." 

He disappeared.

Cody looked around the cave. His armor was stacked off to the side, and Quinlan's cloak was over him. Right. Quinlan did have a cloak he just preferred not to use it on his regular missions. 

He leaned back and rubbed his head. Ow, that was a decent bump. He was going to have a headache for a while. He let out a breath and considered the situation.

He was stuck with Quinlan for at least the night, probably longer because there was no way they were getting all the way back up there in one day. 

Well. Not exactly stuck, because he liked Quinlan, but he did just discover that he loved the Jedi. It was going to be interesting keeping those hidden with so much one on one.

Quinlan came back, looking grim. "We're near an ocean, like I mentioned earlier, and I checked with the Force, as much as I could, and based on those forward clouds and the wind and just everything, I think we're going to be stuck for at least a day, but probably closer to two. This is a hurricane."

"A hurricane?" Cody was puzzled.

"Oh, right, Kamino didn't really have those. So a hurricane is a storm that forms over oceans where all the wind and clouds spin around a central point called the eye. The eye is a space of no storm at all and is usually completely clear. The eye is surrounded by the eye wall which is a thick wall of clouds and where the strongest winds are, the further out from the eye you are, the weaker the winds are. We really have to hope we're not going to get hit by the eye of it because that's the worst. The back side of the eye is awful, in a lot of cases."

Cody stared at him. "Uh... that sounds terrifying. But also, how do you know that?"

Quinlan shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes. "They mostly show up on planets that have a decent amount of land but are still at least half ocean. And it's important to know these things. There's some variations between planets. Some hurricanes produce more tornadoes, some more lightning, some are just wind and no rain."

"So you don't know what kind of hurricane we're getting?"

"I don't even know how bad it's going to get," Quinlan admitted. "I double checked everything around the cave. We're in no danger of flooding, far enough away from the coast. I was able to find some fallen trees to stack up to cover the entrance aside from some pockets to get fresh air in, and there is another path out, though more of a tunnel and takes a bit, so at least we have an option if something happens."

Cody sighed. "Great. Just... Great." 

"Food?" Quinlan offered. "I was able to gather some things for eating to last us until it passes."

"Oh, that's good. Thanks." Cody took the offered fruit and started eating. It tasted pretty good. "How do you know it's safe to eat?"

Quinlan held up a scanner. "I usually use this for detecting poisons but it works just as well on unfamiliar food. So I'm relatively certain it's safe."

"Well then. It does taste pretty good, thank you."

Quinlan beamed.

.

The first loud noise of storm hit them. Cody jumped, wide eyed.

Quinlan sat up, tilting his head. "I think that was thunder."

"Well it's loud."

"Means it's close." Quinlan didn't quite settle down though.

They had been playing a game of cards, since Quinlan had a set on him. It at least gave them a way to pass the time.

The sounds of the storm got more intense. They could hear the wind and rain too, not just the thunder. 

Cody was a bit freaked out. He was used to being safe in a building on Kamino, not huddled in a cave on land. Plus this seemed way worse than anything he had ever experienced before. He hadn't realized he was scared of storms before. 

Quinlan didn't seem to notice, lost in his own world. 

Cody let out a shriek at the loud sound of something hitting something else. Probably a big rock hitting another big rock.

That got Quinlan's attention. He scooted over and wrapped an arm around Cody. "It's okay. We'll be fine. I made sure of it."

Cody leaned in. "I have never experienced a storm like this. Barely even heard thunder on Kamino... I don't think I've ever encountered a storm on land before."

"And naturally, it had to be one of the worst ones."

"Yeah." 

Quinlan hugged him. "I'm here with you. You're not alone."

"That's true... thank you." Cody breathed in than out. 

The storm got stronger. There was a loud CRACK. Cody jumped and clung to Quinlan. He was surprised to find that Quinlan was shaking.

"Uh... are you okay, Quinlan?"

Quinlan had his eyes shut. "Y-yeah. Just a flashback. Nothing bad."

"Nothing bad? You're shaking."

Quinlan sighed and hugged him. "I'll be okay, Codes. Probably should spend some time meditating about it."

Cody almost stopped breathing at the nickname. The first time Quinlan had used a nickname. Cody wasn't even sure he noticed. Remembering what he had said about nicknames, Cody decided to return the gesture, intentional or not.

"If you want to talk about it, Quin, I can listen. I feel like I could use something to take my mind off of what is going on out there."

Quinlan blinked at him, surprised by Cody using a nickname. Cody, who never used nicknames. 

He sighed. "Well, I suppose it can't hurt." He got more comfortable, not letting go of Cody.

Cody found he really didn't mind. He did mean it that he wanted lots of cuddling with the person he loved. This was better than he had imagined, too.

"So... I was a Padawan. Not quite eighteen, still young though, since Kiffar aren't physically adults until twenty."

Cody nodded, filing that little bit of information away.

"I was on a mission with my master, Tholme. Typical investigative, lay low sort of mission. Then the forecasts started showing a hurricane bearing down on where we were. Well, first it was going to go north, then it was going to go south, then, twelve hours before landfall they knew it was going to hit where we were. Rather than continue our mission, we helped evacuate people. The mission could wait with people's lives at stake, and anyways, with the storm coming through there wasn't going to be much more we could do." 

Cody shifted so he could be more cuddling than being held. Quinlan didn't seem to notice, staring at a wall.

"It was fine. The first waves of storms came, but they were little more than rain storms. Nothing too bad. We got separated at that point but I was old enough to be trusted on my own. There was rain and wind, that was about it. I remember thinking that maybe we could handle sticking around to help people instead of evacuating ourselves. That was a mistake."

Quinlan shook his head and went to wrap his arms around his legs, but Cody was in the way. Cody, who was cuddling and listening intently. Quinlan bit his lip and hugged him, needing to be hugging something.

Cody adjusted so that Quinlan was more leaning on him than the other way around.

"After a few hours, the wind was getting stronger, the rain was falling harder. And the waves were getting higher. Storm surge is one of the most dangerous parts of a hurricane, though I didn't know it then. I thought I was fine, I was getting a Tooka and her kittens for a distressed kid, separated from his parents. And then the waves came. I have no idea how I held onto that box of Tooka and kittens, how I held onto the kid. I still have no idea how we all survived. I just trusted the Force to guide me and somehow we made it through, though it was the most terrifying experience of my life at the time, and still ranks in the top five. I still can't swim in anything but a pool. We almost drowned so many times. I think I lost a kitten or two by the time I was able to use the Force to pull us to a building and I somehow got us all up on a high balcony. Force jumping, probably."

"That sounds awful. And terrifying. I don't know that I would've been able to do anything besides panic."

Quinlan chuckled. "I panicked, definitely, but I was trained to be able to think as clearly as possible in every situation, or at least trust in the Force to guide me. We ended up staying on that balcony the rest of the storm. It was horrible. We couldn't get into the apartment attached to it so we could only huddle together against the wall under what was left of the covering over the balcony." 

He shivered at the memory. "We were doing okay, but then the worst of the storms appeared... and so did the eye wall shortly after. The winds were strong, the lightning big and loud. Intense. I've never seen anything like it. We were almost struck a few times. There was one time I swear it hit the tree right next to us. If I had stuck my hand out, I would've been hit so close. Maybe an exaggeration. But I couldn't hear anything after that for a bit. And I definitely felt the lightning, being so close. And the wind... the wind was horrible. It made the rain drops hurt, and the hail hurt more. At some points the rain and hail were going sideways, not anywhere near straight down." 

Cody could almost picture that. He didn't like it. He hugged Quinlan tighter, almost pulling him into his lap. And if Quinlan hadn't survived... Cody wouldn't know what love felt like. Wouldn't be interested in pursuing love any further.

"What happened once you got through the eye wall?"

"I finally figured out how to break into the apartment so we could have more shelter. It wasn't the best shelter, but it was better than the balcony. We had a good breather while the eye came through. It was... it was one of the most remarkable things I've ever seen. All calm, but you could see the rest of the storm at the edges, could see the dangerous back end coming. It was amazing. Best part of the whole experience. Kid appreciated it too."

Cody hummed. "That does sound like an amazing view. Reminds me of those rare times we had a break in storms, though that was nothing like what you described the eye of the storm to be like."

Quinlan smiled. "It is similar. Then the backside of the wall slammed into us with intense wind and rain. Instead of a gradual onset, it was 0 to intense in seconds. I watched the storm surge bring more water up, and then ducked back to herd the kid, tooka, and kittens to the area I deemed safest in the apartment. It was almost worse, being out of the storm. Because we couldn't see what was happening and I didn't dare look for fear of getting hit. For fear of something happening if I did. Better to stay safe by not looking. But it was so loud. There was darkness and flashes of light and the noise of intense rain and hail and the wind... Could hear things smacking into other things and everything. I just wished I could see what was happening so I knew for certain we were safe from whatever it was."

Cody considered that, listened to what he could hear outside. "...yeah I don't blame you for wanting to know what was going on. What happened after?"

"After? We were starving but we had to wait for rescue. And when we were finally rescued... we discovered that half the building had been taken by a tornado. Which was what the terrifying shaking had been. Still took a while to be reunited with Tholme, and I wanted to get the kid, tooka, and kittens back to their family first anyways. I don't mind storms... until they start sounding like that terrible storm."

"Like today." Cody hugged him tighter. "I understand. No wonder you know so much about hurricanes, Quin. Sounds terrible. I don't think today is going to be that bad."

Quinlan smiled. "Me either." He yawned, then frowned, irritated. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep with it so loud. So... I'm going to meditate." He sat up.

"Can I join you?"

"Do you know how to meditate?"

"Obi-Wan made it a point to teach everyone. He teaches every shiny as soon as he can. Regular and moving. I find it a nice way to destress when the paperwork is getting to me."

Quinlan grinned. "Then you can join me." He crossed his legs and got comfortable. 

Cody sat up and got as comfortable as he could be with how sore his legs were. 

Quinlan closed his eyes and started breathing, settling into meditation quickly. 

Cody waited a bit, just admiring how easily Quinlan could do that. People just didn't expect Quinlan to be a 'real' Jedi, but moments like this proved he was a Jedi Master after all, and Cody admired that.

Cody closed his eyes and started the familiar breathing pattern. Obi-Wan had shown them several different ones, but his favorite was the one that Quinlan was using, so it was easy to match his breathing to Quinlan and start his own meditation. 

Quinlan opened one eye once he sensed that Cody had finally settled. He quietly moved so that their legs were touching and he placed one hand on Cody's so that he wasn't alone. He needed that reminder, even for meditation. 

Feeling more at ease, Quinlan returned to his meditation, searching through his old memories and dealing as much as he could when there was no escape from the reminder of the memories. He released the emotions, and decided to focus on other things. 

He handled his other emotions just fine until he got to the final one. The one that he had been avoiding even thinking about, but would have to deal with anyways.

Love. But not love the way he was used to. Not love for Obi-Wan, or for Tholme, Aayla, any Jedi or for his family. 

And he had no clue what to do with it. He had never truly felt love before. He had not been interested in dating, or relationships. Despite his flirtatious banter, he wasn't even all that interested in sex. He just wanted to be himself, have some people close, and do his job. 

He had tried relationships because that was what people expected but they were way too much work and not worth it at all.

But now he can't stop thinking about it with Cody. How much he loves Cody, how wonderful Cody is. 

When Cody confided in him and Obi-Wan about his love, Quinlan realized he felt the same exact way about Cody. He wanted dates and cuddling and a relationship and he didn't know how he felt about that. 

Why was he now thinking he wanted to be in a relationship for the rest of his life? Why was he thinking about little gifts to give to Cody? 

It was love, of course, but where did these feelings come from in the first place. Why Cody? 

Quinlan thought of how his heart stopped when he saw Cody get knocked off the bridge. He did spare a few seconds to consider the mission, and Obi-Wan nodded to him. Quinlan had been closer than him so he was best placed to help Cody.

So he had wasted no time. Relieved that Cody was alive, if a bit injured, and able to keep it from getting worse. 

And now they were caught in a storm together. And Cody was being so sweet about it, so nice. He listened intently to the story, offered sympathy, comfort, and cuddles. It was amazing. 

And Quinlan found he was truly madly in love with Cody, and maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Cody was perfect. 

He released the feelings into the Force, letting the Force guide him for the rest of his meditation. When he opened his eyes he had a soft smile on his face, thinking about Cody as the feelings came back. Letting go was not as permanent as some people pretended. 

Letting go was just about ensuring feelings were not getting in the way, ensuring that one wasn't selfishly clinging to love and twisting it. 

Cody opened his eyes and blinked a few times. He smiled at Quinlan. "Good meditation?"

Quinlan nodded, just content to study Cody. He wondered who it was that Cody had been talking about. Had it been him? It was possible, but it could have been someone else. Cody had been very careful about revealing anything that could give who it was away.

Cody, meanwhile, was staring at their hands. Quinlan was still sitting with his legs pressed against Cody's, and still had his hand on Cody's. 

The storm was still going outside, but neither really noticed as they just enjoyed the moment. 

Cody impulsively flipped his hand to properly hold Quinlan's hand. It was nice to have that connection, but he wanted more. He wasn't certain what he should do with his feelings; if he should try for a relationship or not.

Quinlan had never had a real relationship according to rumors. So would he want one with Cody? 

Could Cody take that risk right now? But Quinlan was beautiful and smiling softly, and he'd told Cody about something that had to be deeply traumatizing, something people didn't share lightly.

Quinlan stared at their linked hands, stunned. After a moment he looked up at Cody. 

Cody fidgeted, and went to pull back his hand. Quinlan stopped him with his other hand.

"Don't..." Quinlan said softly. "Remember my psychometry?"

Cody nodded, then his eyes widened a moment later when he realized that Quinlan could feel his emotions in his hand. He wasn't sure what Quinlan stopping him meant, though so he shifted anxiously, not looking at Quinlan. 

Quinlan chuckled and let go of his hand. So he could pull Cody into a kiss.

Cody almost pulled away before he registered just how nice the kiss was. He wrapped his arms around Quinlan. 

Quinlan pulled away and rested his forward on Cody's. "I was just wondering if it was possible that I was the person you were talking about." 

Cody chuckled. "I hadn't known if I should say something 'cause everyone 'knows' you don't have relationships."

"That's true. I don't know why... but you're different. Something about you is just... there that wasn't with anyone else, with anyone I tried dating when I was younger. So... let's have a date."

"Right now?" Cody asked.

"Sure, why not. Just you, me and the storm. What else can we do?" Quinlan grinned.

Cody snickered. "You know what, that sounds like a fantastic way to pass the time."

Quinlan beamed. "Excellent. First date it is." 

Eventually both of them grew tired, and decided it was time for bed. They cuddled together, still both excited and stunned about sharing feelings. 

They would see what the damage was when they woke up, what getting back to the 212th would be like once the storm was passed. 

For now, they needed sleep. A quick exchange of kisses and wishes for goodnight, and they were off to dreamland, cuddling together happily.