Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I know we don't really know each other and you probably have your opinions of me. I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different. The truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. I'm crazy about you. I think you're amazing! But I know these feelings are wrong. It's not the way a boy should feel. Shame swallows me whole. My father would kill me but I can't live in his shadow forever I just- 

"What happened there?" Sal asked curiously, snapping Travis out of his thoughts. The teen jumped up and whirled around angrily. Sally Face was right behind him. English was the only class they had where he was seated right behind Travis. Just his luck.  At least in math he wasn't this close. The new semester had just started up a few days ago, and their talk has been on his mind ever since it happened. Right before break Sal and Travis had a heart to heart talk to each other, where Travis apologize for being a jerk, and Sal offered his place for Travis if he ever needed it. And despite....Everyrhing that happened in the break, Travis refused to call Sal, not wanting to bother him.

"Wh- what the hell are you talking about...freak?" Travis snapped out angrily. Maybe too angry. He was trying to be nicer...

Sal tilted his head and hummed, "Your back. It's all bruised and red, like just beneath your neck. What happened?"

Travis was stunned by that, blinking for a moment. "I fell" He lied, looking back down at his paper as his face heated up, subconsciously pulling his purple sweater down in the front to cover the back up a bit. It wasn't technically a lie.

"You fell...On your lower neck?" Sal asked confusingly.

"Yes." He hissed out. The truth was something far more complex then Travis wanted Sal to know. He wasn't as devoted like Travis was. He wouldn't understand the real reason.

"Okay..." He frowned under the prosthetic, not believing it for a second, but said nothing non the less. "Anyways..me and the gang are going out for some ice-cream after school. Wanna come? " 

"I can't" Travis grumbled, writing down an English response and moving on to the next question. They were working on a book report about Lord of the Flies they read over break. His father complained about it, saying it was vulgar and inappropriate to read. His auguring worked however, as they were already finished with the book, but because of his stance and power he held over the town, the book was banned for future classes. Travis should feel good about that. Sin being washed away...But he didn't. "And its snowing outside. Why the hell would you want ice-cream?"

"So it won't melt." Sal chuckled. "And why not? Don't tell me you have church on Thursdays as well?" Sal grimaced.

Travis slammed his pencil to the desk and shot Sal another sneer.

"Travis." The teacher called out from his desk, glaring at the teen. "Be quite."

Travis rolled his eyes at that, looking away from Sal.

"Sorry, sorry" Sal raised his hands before sighing. "Even if it's for an hour?" He asked hopefully. "We can stay in the shop if you want. Just having ice-cream was Larry's idea. He still has a sore throat." Sal explained. 

Travis thought for a moment. His father would be back home, so he would have to inform him... Could lie and say a study group... Father would be mad if he found out he strayed from the path... Only if he found out. Yeah. That could work. "Fine. But only an hour." Travis grumbled. Lying was a sin, but if he repented it would be fine. Right?

"Perfect! It's a date!" Sal chuckled. 

Date. 

Hah.

Travis simply rolled his eyes and carried on with his task, a gentle smile appearing on his face.

Travis opened the ice-cream shop door quickly, closing it behind him and brushed off any extra snow. "Sorry I'm a bit late" Travis mumbled moving to sit down, keeping his jacket on. He and his father got into a small argument, nothing too bad though. He's fine. Everything is perfectly fine. He was just mad about grades again. 

Sal scowled, his gaze wandering around Travis, looking for any new red scars or bruises.

What? He was a good friend. Travis was getting hurt at home. And he wanted to make sure he was alright. 

"Don't be. It's all good. So what ice cream do you want?" Sal hummed. "We all already figured out what we want" He shrugged. "I'm paying for it all, so any is fine."

Travis thought for a moment, glancing over at the counter, seeing the list of ice-cream until his eyes stopped on one. "Uh, Chocolate I guess?" Why was Sal paying? Travis could pay for his. But...the gesture was nice. 

"Great!" Sal smiled and stood up, walking to order from them. 

"I'll help with the ice cream!" Ashley called out, following Sal. 

It made Travis wonder. How would Sal eat? Would he take his mask off? Would Travis finally be able to see his face? He shook his head away from the thoughts and frowned. This was wrong. It was sinful. Stop thinking about him Travis. Stop it. Stop It STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT-

Soon the two came back with the ice cream. Sal with rocky road, and the only one using a cup besides Travis, Ashley with strawberry, Larry with mint, and Todd with sherbet, and immediately a conversation picked up amongst the group like they have been friends for ages.

"You stole what again!?" Sal laughed. The bottom strap of his prosthetic was off, moving it off his face for the ice cream.

"I stole the principal's smoke pack for a joke. And he was pissed! Saying things like a personal item was stolen from him and he was very disappointed in whoever stole it." Larry laughed. "He even offered a reward if anyone knew anything. It was a free lunch pass!" Larry laughed. "Like hell anyone would confess just for that."

Sal laughed at that and shook his head. "I remember the principal's son always cheated on everything. And always got away with it despite being horrible at it. The teachers could always tell but they couldn't do anything about it!"

 Larry laughed. "I remember that! That asshole failed all his classes and still graduated with honors! Fucking asshole had that snobby name as well."

"Bernard!" The group said all together, laughing with each other. they seemed so close, so knit together, it made Travis feel like a lone sheep in the herd. 

Travis looked at the four laughing together before he spoke "I write poems" He said taking a shaky breath.

"That's cool!" Ashley hummed. The group got quiet all of a sudden, all their attention now focused on Travis. Which he hated. "I sucked at poetry. Can you tell us an example?" She asked excitedly.

Shit. Oh. Shit.

"Sure? Uh..." He frowned thinking of one. This was a bad idea. His father often said his poems were idiotic, that he should never write again, but other times he laughed, telling Travis how proud he was of his writing, it confided Travis to the point he gave up in trying to show him his poems to anyone...Until now that is. Travis shifted in his seat and began to talk. "In the dark abyss of night, a shadow dances free for all to see. The moonlight showing all, its haunting home to be. Through twilight and blight, wondering aimlessly every night, unsure on what its purpose is meant to be...but one fateful eve light made its way down, casting golden rays, igniting all who were plight. Others ran away from this horrifying sight but the young shadow stood proudly to see. Embracing the light was an ever so delight, the shaodw now filled with grace and might. But despite all of this. the shadow felt like he needed to be fixed, missing the life before, yearning and yearning to be back in the night, dancing ever so happily. But the choice was made and now hes stuck and afriad. Still wishing he could be free." Travis finished.

"Is that about death?" Larry asked immediately getting a nudge from Ashley. "What!? I'm just asking! It seems like a shadow is walking into a light! They die in light!

"It's about after-death? So-Larry is kinda correct. It's stupid anyways...I wrote it in a rush." He grumbled out.

"I think it's really cool" Sal smiled. "I like it. The ending is sad however. I kinda wish the shadow would find happiness. He deservers it."

Travis blushed a bit at that and looked down at his ice cream again and continued to eat it. This was wrong. It was sinful. Stupid stupidstupidstupid. Sal complemented your work you shouldn't get all flustered over this you fucker. Stop it.

Larry looked between the two, smirking, noticing how Travis looked away. He noticed his face going red, as well as the scowl that crossed his face.Travis fucking Phelps had a crush on a certain blue-headed boy. Who would have guessed the homophobe was gay? Oh this was perfect. Larry would enjoy this now. Maybe Travis deserved a chance of his own medicene. 

 "So Travis." He spoke. "How's church going?" Larry asked smugly, crossing his arms. "I see you going there a lot."

"Good I guess" He shrugged. Lies. "Father is having a lot of meetings and staying there late but he makes me leave them" Travis mumbled. "He says I'll  understand when im 18."

"Weird. Why does he do that?" Larry asked again, tilting his head, the smug look still plastered over him.

"Beats me" Travis shrugged again. "Doing pastor shit probably. He has a lot of work to do."

"But you're his son. Shouldn't you be helping out?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"Well, I do help out. A lot. Just some nights he makes me leave early." Travis grumbled back. digging his spoon into the ice-cream.

"Yeah. Well church wasn't for me" Larry smirked. "I mean don't get me wrong. To each, your own but religion and church never really stuck out. I was always getting high and...' crushing' on a ton of people besides girls." He smirked, winning a glare from Travis. 

"Well I still go to church sometimes, but its one closer in the city." Ashly explained. "I haven't been to it in years though."

"Me neither" Todd replied. "I never saw the appeal in it anyways, plus the facts that I was basically shunned for believing in science and being gay," He said. "And my whole parents making weed" Todd chuckled. "Not a good reputation for someone who wants to go to church."

"Well that is a sin," Travis said under his breath. 

"What did you say asshole?" Larry hissed, moving to stand up.

"Woah-No, Larry it's okay," Todd told him, his arms raised, watching as Larry sat angrily in his seat again. "You were saying being gay was a sin, or making weed. Or both?" He asked Travis.

Travis ate the ice cream and nodded. "Both, technically. Weed is a gateway drug, and having it can make you stray from the path God intended for you. And yes, being a homosexual is a sin." Being homosexual was a sin. It was a sin. You liking Sal is sinful.

Todd nodded at that, smiling softly. "When I knew I was gay I was terrified," He said softly. "I was terrified of my parents finding out, and me going to hell. Even though they were hippies and never went to church themselves, I was terrified" He explained. "But then I met Neil, and I told my parents, and they helped me through it"

Travis was quiet at that looking down, poking the ice cream silently for a moment as Todd talked. Todd was gay. And he was happy. But it was wrong. He could be happy now. But when he died he would never be granted salvation. The crops would go bad first, a plague, then shadows would rule the world. That's what his father told him. As long as he is one with the lord he, and everyone else will be granted salvation. "Good for you I guess. But it's still a sin. You can't stray from the path."

Todd's smile faded and he nodded, seemingly saddened. "Of course..." Todd wasn't blind. Travis was gay and deep in the closet, so deep that he probably couldn't see the door. It was a bit sad. Todd saw that Travis had a crush on Sally. Anyone could see that. Gay or straight. But he was still saddened to see that Travis still clung to his belief. Even if that meant hating himself in the process. 

Ashley looked at the awkwardness and forced a smile out. "So uh, Sal..How's your art going?" She asked, hoping to change the topic to a more warmer one.

"Oh good! I think?" He chuckled, raising his mask to take a bite of the ice cream. "I could never be as good as you! You're amazing at what you do Ash. I treid to make a dog once, Larry thought it was a cow."

"It looked like a cow little dude!" Larry chuckled. "I don't know what to tell you!"

"Right a cow with a fluffy tail?" Sal shot back laughing.

As the hour went on, the five talked until Travis checked his watch, seeing the time made him jump. It went by way to fast. "I should get going" Travis said sighing. "It's almost 5 and I really need to get back..." He said and stood up, zipping his jacket back up and pulled the hood over his head.

"Yeah, we should probably get going as well incase it snows even worse" Todd said standing up. "This was fun. Thanks for this Sal." 

"It was my pleasure Tod..."'

Everyone stood up as well talking amongst themselves as Travis walked to the door and opened it, the doorbell alerting Sal.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Home...?" Travis asked confusingly. 

"Well the apartments are on the way, I don't mind walking with you" Sal smiled looking at Todd and Larry  "You coming, as well?" He asked the two.

"I'm good, I'll be heading to the library anyways with Neil. Thanks though!" Todd smiled. Sal looked to Larry who just shrugged. "I was gonna talk with Ashley more. So i'll meet you back home. But if he gives you any problems you tell me okay?" Larry said, giving a glare like daggers to Travis.

"Well okay then. Bye guys! See you tomorrow at school" He waved off.

"Bye Sal! Bye Travis!" Ashly waved off as well. She seemed warmed up to the idea of Travis being around, or she held her anger and annoyance in. Travis wouldn't blame her if she did anyways.

Then it was just the two. Sal and Travis walked back in silence, the snow shuffling under their feet.

"So..." Sal spoke again. "Uh, You studied for the English test?" He asked.

"No" Travis shook his head. "I'm horrible at math anyways. Too much shit to memorize so why bother" He grumbled. He was failing math, and close to failing English already. Why did it matter to him anyway? He was stupid if his grades sucked this much.

"I can tutor you?" Sal offered. "If you want."

Travis paused at that as his heart raced. Sal would tutor him. Just him and Sal. Alone."I have to do it at school though." Travis stammered. The thought of his father catching them alone sent shivers down his spine. He didn't care what would happen to him, but what would happen to Sal made him terrified. 

"That's fine" Sal smiled. "Tomorrow after school? We can do it in the library." 

"Sure" Travis nodded, taking a shaky breath as he looked to his house on the left. It was a simple house. White wood covering the walls with a light brown roof. There was no garage, however a driveway with a car parked there already. It was two stories with a patio in the front of the house. It looked like a typical normal family home from the outside. 

"Thanks. I guess...for the ice cream. I was nice" Travis mumbled fidgeting with his hands.

"Anytime Travis! See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow." Travis said, waving off to Sal and walked up the steps to his home. He took a shaky breath, pulling his keys out and opened the door, closing it behind him and locking it. He made it home just before five, looking over to Kenneth on the armchair, reading the newspaper in the livingroom. Home was weird to Travis. It was where he slept. ate, lived, But if anything, home felt like the part of the movie where the music stops and its deathly silent. 

"How was studying Travis?' He asked not looking up. The wall of crosses staring right back at Travis. Like it knew. It knew his sins.

"It was good Sir" Travis hummed, taking his jacket off, hanging it on the coat rack walking to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Tongight he planned to make some pasta. That plus it was one of the only things left they had. He always made dinner ever since...No. Not the time to dwell on the past.

Kenneth grunted and nodded, flipping to a new page. "Better be good. I'm expecting high grades at school. This semester. Is that clear?"

"Yes Sir," Travis said opening the fridge and grabbing chicken, starting dinner in silence. It was always this way. He made the food, His father hardly talked until it was severed. It was the same thing every single day. 

"I'll be going out of town in a week," Kenneth said suddenly. He set the newspaper down and stood up, walking to the dining room to sit down at the table as Travis served the food. "They want me to speak at several other churches.They heard one of our sessions and loved it." He said.

"That's wonderful" Travis smiled sitting down as well. The idea that his father could spread the word of Christ, that more people will be freed and given light for salvation made Travis want to grin. "Shall we say grace?"

"Of course." Kenneth nodded, grabbed Travis's hand ablit tightly, and closed his eyes. "God is great and God is good, Let us thank Him for our food. By His blessings, we are fed, Give us Lord, our daily bread." Kenneth spoke. "Anything you wanna add Travis?"

He tilted his head up, swallowing. "Uh..thank you for looking out for me as well and letting me call you in times of need. You being there is more than I can ask for. Amen." 

"Amen."

Now. Don't get Travis wrong. He would snap if someone even mocked God but it did confuse him a bit. God never spoke to him. No amount of praying could get God to speak. Kenneth said that even with small faith God would talk to you...So why didn't he? Was this sin of these thoughts that strong to make God ignore him? Did God hate him?

He pushed that idea down, and the two ate in silence.

"That's a big meal Travis," Kenneth said chewing his food and looked at Travis's plate. "You sure you wanna eat that all?"

Travis looked down at the bowl and frowned. It was a lot, wasn't it? "I'll save the rest for tomorrow father. I'll eat what I can for now. It can be leftovers." Travis said, however he knew what was coming anyways. Like it always came when Travis got to big of a meal.

"Hm." Kenneth shook his head and scoffed as he stood up, forcefully grabbing Travis's plate and making Travis flinch back. "We don't do leftovers, Travis." He snapped walking to the sink and dumped the food down in the trash, "Next time don't make a meal you can't finish. Got it?"

Travis looked on in shock but remained silent. If this wasn't in God's plan, then it wouldn't have happened. He had to respect it. Stay on the path, and nothing bad will happen. Don't. Stray. From. The. Path.  Stay on the pass Travis. "Yes...Yes sir."

Dinner was soon over and Travis was quick to wash the dishes as Kenneth was reading the newspaper before the phone rang. He sighed and stood up, walking over to it.

"Phelps. Hello?" Kenneth spoke in a hushed tone.

Travis was curious about who was calling around 6:30 but didn't think anything of it until he saw his father hang up and silently walked upstairs. Odd.

He finished the dishes, placing the last plate into their cabinet before he saw Kenneth walking down with a suitcase. Huh. 

"Travis. You wouldn't lie to me right?" He asked after a moment, setting the suitcase down on the ground.

"No father" Travis shook his head and walked to the living room, where his father was standing.

Kenneth smiled at that and nodded, walking to Travis, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't disappoint me, son. We can't have you stray from the path that God intended for you. You have a big role in his plan."

"Yes sir" He nodded.

"I'm going to the church for a meeting tonight." He said humming "Every day we are getting closer Travis. Soon the day will come and he will rise again" 

"To the new world." 

"Exactly." Kenneth smiled fondly. "He will show us the new world, and you and I will rule it together" 

Travis smiled weakly at that nodding. 

"May the lord be with you son. You need strong faith and learn to not lie to me when you hang out with those demons."

His smile dropped as the hold on his shoulder grew tighter. Too tight."W-what?" Horror flushed over the teen. His eyes growing wide.

"You think I'm not blind?" Kenneth said calmly. "Why did you lie to me? Twice. I gave you a chance."

"Father I-" His eyes widened in horror, terrified to move. Did he know? How did he know?

"Study group. Like you've ever cared enough about school." Kenneth hissed. "But you went out with those abominations. Why? To mock me? Is that what this is?"

"I'm- I'm so sorry Father. I-never meant to lie at all I just they invited me!"

"Invited you to what? sin? Stray from the path?" He gritted his teeth. "You know three of them are homos right? And the other is a slut. Are you a homosexual Travis?" He hissed out. Venom filled his voice. "Are you a slut as well?"

"I'm not!"

Immediately there was a sting on his cheek as he was slapped by Kenneth, "They are turning you against me" He let Travis's shoulder go, but before he could move Kenneth grabbed his wrist, and pulled him forward again. "You are a disgrace to me. I hope you know that. I feel ashamed having you as a son." 

Travis's looked down, trying to pull away "Father please-" 

Kenneth grabbed Travis's cheeks with one hand, forcing his son to look at him. "First you're failing school already. Now you're lying" He sneered. "What's next son? Are you going to tell me you're a f*ggot next?"

"No-no I'm not a homosexual, father!" Tears glistened in his eyes. "I promise to God, o-on my life, I'm not one."

Kenneth only scoffed in disgust "You better not be. Or I will send you to hell myself. Is that clear?" 

Travis's heart stopped in fear "of-course sir." He stammered out, with terrified eyes.

"Good." Kenneth grumbled, letting Travis go, "I'll see you tomorrow then after school. It's a 15-minute walk. So I expect you here no later than 3:20." Kenneth hummed. he brushed his hair back, grabbed his suitcase and walked out the door. It was like nothing happened. 

He watched him slam the door shut before taking a shakey breath, moving to look down at his wrist, seeing his hands shaking.

"Shit" he cursed, the bruised handprint already forming. If that was bruised, more than likely his face would be as well. "Shit" Travis blinked again, wiping tears from his cheeks. His father knew. He knew about the thoughts didn't he?  He was going to kill him. 

Travis backed to the wall and sank to the ground as more tears dripped down his face.

Oh, God. He was going to kill him. 

Quiet sobs escaped even though he covered his mouth with one hand. His chest ached, like 10 pounds were pushing agasint his chest. Travis took a shaky breath, trying to not lose it. He heard Kenneth's car start, turning around, seeing the lights through the window as they pulled away, before heading out of view.

Don't stray from the path

Travis wiped his eyes again taking a deep breath. 

Don't stray from the path

He wasn't going to stray from the path at all. But...

Don't stray from the path

What defines a path anyways? If this was all in God's plan, then he was meant to do this. 

Right?

He looked at the phone on the wall and stood up, his hands shaking, his heart beating before he picked it up. Travis bit his lip and dialed Sal's number. The boy had given it to him a bit after the bathroom incident. Soon, the line picking up after a few moments. 

"Hello, Henry Fisher speaking. Who's this?"

"Hello, sir...This is uh...Travis Phelps. From school...Um is Sal Fisher there?" He asked, praying to God that his voice wasn't shakey. That he didn't sound pathetic. 

"Yes. He's here...Why?" 

"Can I speak to him? I wanted to talk about our group project..." 

"I'll put him on" Henry huffed after a few moments. 

The line was silent for a moment before a familiar voice appeared "Travis! Hey! What's up?" 

Sally was talking to him on the phone. He could hear him clearly, It sounded like his mask wasn't even on. Oh, God. His mask was off, wasn't it? He could only imagine how Sal looked under there, a bit curious, all Travis could think of is how beautiful his face would be. He could see his smile...his laugh if his eyes scrunched up-

"-Travis? Hello? Can you hear me good?"

He snapped out of his thoughts immediately. They were wrong.

"Right! Yes. Sorry...uh...Could I...come over?" Travis asked quietly. "I know it's late and I apologize but-"

"It's fine man...Like for the night?" He asked, a bit worriedly. Travis could tell in his voice. He was feeling pity for him. Travis didn't know to be mad or grateful.

"Y-yeah." Travis said after a long moment of silence. 

There was shuffling and mumbling on the other end before Sal spoke again "Do you need any ice?" Sal spoke quietly. "I have bandages as well and some painkillers..."

"I don't need them." He grumbled "I'm- I'm fine for now. I just...want-need to get out of this house. Please."

"Course...You know the address and room number right?"

"Yep. And thank you Sally face. I'll be there soon." Travis said, hanging the phone up.

Don't stray from the path

Chapter Text

"Hey, Travis" Sal smiled sadly as he opened the door. Travis had called 10 minutes ago, saying that he was staying for the night. It was a bit last minute, but Sal told Travis if he ever needed to come over, he would be able to.

"Hey." Travis looked down as he stepped inside the apartment. It was nice. Small, but nice. He felt horrible for coming here last second and bothering Sals night, but he couldn't stay home alone. He couldn't

"What happened?" He heard Sal asked him.

"Nothing," Travis grumbled back angrily and stormed passed Sal. He was angry. And scared. And all he wanted to do was break something or tear his skin off.

"Your face looks bruised. Does it need any ice?" Sal asked closing the door behind him. 

 "It's fine. I fell." Travis hissed out, tears still fresh in his eyes. "Don't need to fucking hover me" Travis snapped out.

He tries to help you and that's how you repay him? Typical Travis.

"Sorry. I didn't come with anything." Travis grumbled, ignoring the taunting voice in his head.

"It's all good... I got extra pillows and a futon for whenever Larry comes." He shrugged. "It's kinda old but it's fine. Larry left his shirt here a while back, never asked for it so you can sleep in that" Sal hummed, "C'mon I got the room set up." He offered walking to his room let Travis inside.

Travis followed silently before looking into a room. "Your room looks nice" he mumbled, looking around. There were posters everywhere, drawings, a tv, and some games shoved in the corner. The main light was turned off, instead, lamps lit the room up. If anything it looked lived in. Unlike his room. He was only allowed in it to sleep and change. It's called a bedroom for a reason. That's what Kenneth had told him. He had a bed, of course. A dresser, and a cross over his bed. 

"Thanks!" Sally grinned walking over to his closet, pulling out a foldable futon before placing it on the ground. Travis stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching Sal.  

"I'm guessing you don't want to...talk about what happened?" Sal asked, walking over to grab a pillow and a blanket, dropping them down on the futon before moving to his bed.

"No." Travis didn't want to talk about it. Hell, he didn't want to even  think  about what happened. He wanted to ignore it like Travis did with everything in his life. Shove it down and forget. 

"Got it got it" Sal nodded, tapping his legs. "My dad is probably asleep now...so...Have you had anything to eat yet?" Sal asked curiously.

"I'm fine" Travis shook his head. He did eat but was still hungry, but that would be rude to say. Especially over at someone's house. Travis needed to be used to what he had. 

"Okay..." Sal shrugged. "If you do get hungry there's some leftovers in the fridge. But uh...You wanna play some video games or some shit? It's still way too early to sleep."

"You have video games?" Travis asked suddenly, still trying to ignore how his stomach growled.

"Course I do! Wanna play?" He grinned. "I have Mario games, some horror games, action games, your choice!" Sal said standing up and walking over to his TV.

Travis looked at him confusedly, his heart pounding with sin. Sal seemed so free. His life. He could play games, do whatever he wanted, and be himself.  You ungrateful shit.  He thought to himself. He had everything. He shouldn't feel guilty over this. His father could kick him out anytime if he wanted, but he didn't. He still allowed Travis to live at home despite all of Travis's mistakes. His father loved and cared for him. So why was he so upset over Stuid sinful game-

"Travis? Hey, you with me dude?" Sal's voice broke out and he snapped back to reality with wide eyes. Sal was now facing him. "You okay? You kinda spaced out..." Sal asked worriedly. Even if the prosthetic, Travis knew how his face looked. Looking at him like he was an injured animal. Like he was pathetic. Travis hated it.

Spacing out. That was a common occurrence for the teen. Sometimes he ran on autopilot, other times it seemed like his eyes just glazed over, and no one was there. "I lied," Travis said after a moment.

But he loved that look from Sal as well. 

"And he found out." 

"Lied about...?" Sal's face dropped. "Oh my god...About the ice cream?" Sal frowned horrified. "What the fuck."

Travis shrugged, glancing away from Sal. "Yeah. I said it was a study group...And I don't give a shit about school...So he called my bluff" Travis laughed, rubbing his hands together. "He just had, a bad day as well I guess. And that was the last straw."

"Shit. I'm so sorry Travis..."

"It's alright. I guess" He shrugged. "Lying is a sin so..." Travis took a shakey breath and rubbed his arm. "I deserved it anyways." 

 "Travis that's not your fault." Sal frowned immediately, startling Travis for a moment.

"What?"

"You told a lie. So what? That doesn't mean he should hit you for it, Travis."

Oh, that got on his nerves. "He didn't hit me." He snapped out.  This time . "I made a mistake. I sinned".  Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them (Proverbs 13:24)  Travis had it rotted in his brain. 

"Slapped, fine whatever. But he shouldn't slap you over something like that. It's wrong Travis." 

Travis was silent at that. It wasn't wrong. His face morphed into confusion before anger. "I'm gonna change. Where is the bathroom." He huffed out. Sal just didn't know what he was talking about. 

"Just outside, the door across from mine" Sal pointed out sadly, "The clothes are already in there." 

"Thanks." Travis frowned. He walked out of the room, feeling a bit guilty at how he acted to Sal, but slowly entered the bathroom. Upon entering Travis shut the door behind him and went straight to the counter, slowly pulled off his shirt, and stared at his reflection. Travis gripped the cross necklace he wore. He could look better. Look better. Had better days. There were old bruises on his side and a few on his ribcage, and chest. Bandges from last night covered both his arms and the boy grimaced. Thank God Kenneth didn't spot these in the argument. Travis didn't know how he would react if he saw them. 

He slowly raised his hand, moving it past his shoulder to touch his back, retracing it, and hissed out. "Shit" He mumbled. It still stung. Kenneth had said that the healing process should take a month, but it's been over a month already and it still stung, even with the scar cream, it hardly helped. But it was all in God's plan. Kenneth had told him. His healing process after being chosen would take a while to heal. He refused to see a doctor, or go to the hospital, claiming they would interfere with the process. With Travis's purpose.

Grabbing the clothes Sal offered he quickly changed, taking another look at himself. The clothes screamed Larry, with a symbol of SF, whatever that was on the long sleeve shirt. and the striped red pants. Travis was about to leave before he heard the toilet flush behind him.

Whirling around in fear his eyes stopped on a cat. Sitting on the toilet. Like a human.

"What the fuck? You're a weird cat," Travis grumbled. "Very weird cat. You saw nothing got it?" He hissed out.

The cat only blinked at him before meowing. 

"Jesus. Can't believe I'm talking to a cat." Travis huffed but continued to talk. "Im serious. Don't tell Sally about whatever you saw. He doesn't need to know." Travis said, grabbing the old clothes, and walked out of the bathroom, walking back to Sal's rooms.

"There's a cat... taking a shit on your toilet. Just so you know." Travis said entering, still holding onto his clothes. 

"So you met Gizmo huh?" Sal laughed. "Yeah. Sorry about that, he.. does that a lot."

"Gizmo? Your cat?" Travis smiled back. weakly "Guess so then. Scared me when I saw him there. Did you know he sits like a human?" He asked, walking to the mattress and sat down on it.

"Yep," Sal smiled. "We don't question that" Sal hummed and laughed. "Though no doubt about it. He was a human in his past life"

Travis didn't believe in past lives, but he still could see that cat being a human.

"Yep. Yep. I'm fine." Travis grumbled. "Can we, look at some video games?"

And so there it was. The two played for an hour, mostly playing Super Mario World. And Travis was having a blast. It was the most fun he'd had in years! He was never allowed to have or play any games. All of them were sinful in his father's eyes. Travis was like a child experiencing new things for the first time.

"That was fun!" Sal laughed as he set down the controller, looking over to Travis.

"Yeah." He chuckled, not hiding the smile that spread on his face. "It was!" Travis smiled, looking at Sal. A small blush crept on his face and Travis looked away immediately. Anger slowly replacing joy. "Why are you being nice?" Travis mumbled. "I bullied you and this is how you repay me."

 "What do you mean?" Sal asked.

"Why did you offer to let me spend the night? I'm horrible to you. You could have slammed the door on my face."

"Well...Like the bathroom, You said the same thing, It's what a friend does" Sal frowned. "And why would I close the door on you?"

"I still call you a freak- I still hate you, Sal." Travis glared up at him. "I hate you so much." Travis spat, but he didn't truly mean those words.

Sal sighed, shaking his head. "Travis. I've had bullies in the past make me hate myself so much that I almost dropped out of school because I couldn't handle it there." He explained. "You were a bully. I will admit, but you did change. You're trying to be a better person and I can see that. It's not linear, but you are trying Travis." Sal smiled sadly.

Travis paused at that, looking away from Sal as the teen talked.

"You have your whole life ahead of you Travis. You can choose who you want to be, and frankly? I see you becoming a good person. No. A better person Travis. You're your own person. Remember?" Sal said reaching out for Travis's hand before he jerked it away.

"I still have free will." Travis spat. "But God has a plan for me. And if I don't follow it exactly then my family can get hurt." His mother already...left. Kenneth blamed that on Travis. How because he didn't follow the path, his mother left.

Sal sighed and nodded sadly. "I used to be a Christian. Well, my mom was." Sal said softly. 

"You? A Christian?" Travis snorted. "Sure. And I'm an atheist." 

"I know, I know" He laughed. "But seriously. I was a Christian. I went to church, prayed, and all of that. I was told he had a plan for me as well...But after the attack...I didn't understand it at the time. I didn't know Mom was dead..." He sucked a breath in. "I prayed to him daily to bring her back. For him to take me instead. But I got silence. Every time. He never talked to me."

Travis went silent at that himself, hearing as Sal talked. God didn't talk to him as well? 

"After a while, I just..gave up. He didn't talk to me when my old friends turned to bully me, nor when I started to harm myself, or when my Dad started drinking and practically ignoring me" Sal said, his voice becoming shaky.

"I'm sorry" Travis frowned. "That's...horrible." '

"Yeah." He chuckled looking over to the door as Gizmo slowly entered "But I got Gizmo, Larry, Lisa, Ash, Todd, Neil, Chug, Maple, and you now" He smiled. "So it worked out in the end."

Travis blushed at that before looking down. "Gr-That's-" He coughed nervously. What can he say to that!? "I'm...glad you see me as a friend."

"Course Travis." He smiled softly, looking at the time. "We should still sleep, it's a school night, and I'm already falling asleep myself." The teen hummed, moving to stand up and walk over to his bed. "I need to take medication, gonna grab some water and be back okay?" Sal replied.

"Oh, yeah that's fine," Travis said, pushing himself up and walking over to the mattress sitting down on it. He didn't deserve this. Travis should have just slept in the park or something, not gone to Sals. This was such a mistake. God, why did he think this was a good idea? Why-

"Travis. Are you sure you're okay?" A voice asked him suddenly. Travis snapped his head up seeing Sal sitting on his bed again, his prosthetic still on, but gave Travis a worried look with his eye. Wait. Where was his other eye?

"Oh-I-Im fine. It's nothing." He mumbled, still looking at Sal. It was like his eyes were glued to him.

"Well, if you need to tell me anything, let me know." Sal hummed, reaching to turn the light off.

"Wait-" Travis stammered, stopping the teen. Sal paused, looking over to Travis.

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna sleep in that mask?" Travis frowned. "It doesn't look comfortable."

Sal froze at that, looking back to Travis worriedly then looked away. "It's fine. I don't mind." He mumbled. "It's just for one night."

"You can take it off if you want," Travis said again after a moment. "I know, I made fun of you for wearing it before, I'm... I'm sorry. But I don't-you know what forget it." Travis huffed. He didn't know why he even said that. Why would Sal even want to take it off after the things Travis said to him? Stupid Travis. StuipidStuipidStuipidStuipidStuipid-

A click snapped Travis back into reality. He turned to Sal as his own eyes widened, seeing Sal slowly remove the protests to reveal his face. It was different than Travis imagine. It was...scared. That was for starters. Scars snaked around his whole face, more centered on the right, however. He had a missing eye, and part of his nose was missing. A part of his cheek and jaw were sunken and his lips seemed sewed back together and twisted. "You're beautiful." Travis blurted out before his eyes widened bim horror and he slapped a hand over his mouth.

Sal snorted at that, placing his prosthetic on the table next to his bed. "Sure. And im an atheist." He teased but smiled softly. "But thank you," Sal replied. "I was a bit worried, you would scream in horror and leave."

"Before I would, but not anymore," Travis said after a moment, looking away from Sal. He could feel the sinful thoughts creeping up on him already, and he hated it.

"Well, for the record I think you're beautiful as well Travis," Sal said before turning the lights off. "Goodnight."

That took Travis by storm and hit him way too fast. Sal thought he was beautiful? Conflicting thoughts clashed in Travis's mind as he lay down as well. It was like his mind was at war. One part dreamt of moments of running a hand through Sal's hair and kissing him-, and the others consisted of Travis screaming at himself, cursing him for being flustered by Sals face and words. That he would go to hell and be punishment. Travis groaned to himself as he moved to lie down, closing his eyes. This would be a long night.

Chapter Text

Travis screamed. He tried to move his body but soon realized that there was no use. He couldn't move. It was like he was paralyzed, or something was holding him down.

"Help!" He yelled out, only being able to dart his head around. Old stone walls and torch lights surrounded him. He was in a temple that seemed vaguely failer. And was lying on a stone slab. People dressed in black robes surrounded him, seemingly chanting something. 

"Help me!" Travis screamed out again. "Please.-Please help-I, don't-" His cries died out around him, no one listening .

A shadow soon cast over him, and he looked to his left. A man in a dog mask came into view. Fear filled Travis's body. 

"There's no use screaming, Travis." The voice boomed. An eerily similar voice. Travis didn't know why, but tears started to drip down his cheeks. "I-I'll be better. I'll do better, please I'm sorry I-"

A hand placed on his hair, fingering running through it in a calming matter. "Sh, sh sh, it'll be over soon. You'll be okay, boy. Trust in us and the endless one." 

Travis swallowed worriedly as the hand retreated and chanting began; a sharp metal object was placed on his stomach before it slid downwards. 

A knife.

He let a scream out again before pain shot through the boy's body. It felt like something was eating him alive. Like it was crawling inside of him and feeding off his very soul.

With wide eyes, he spotted the shadow looming over him before sneaking closer. It entered the skin under his eyes, mouth, wound, and nose. Blackness drowned his screams and sight.

Travis shot up, his eyes wide as his chest rose up and down quickly. He gripped his shirt, swallowing for air. The same nightmare plagued him again. That had to be a record.

"-vis?" 

It always ended the same way. They tried to summon a demon using Travis...But he always blacked out.

"Travis!" A hand was placed on Travis's shoulder. 

He didn't know why he panicked and swung his hand.

Touch was always a topic for Travis. Most of the time, touch was painful. It hurt. And he hated it. It brought him back home. How Kenneth would yell at him and look so. Angry. His father was going about doing this for the greater good! And how Travis should thank him. He yelled at him, punched him in the face, screamed, and would almost break his arm. But then, at night, hours after the ordeals, sometimes, Kenneth would come into Travis's room and apologize! With an icepack in his hand, telling Travis how much he loved him and was sorry. Explaining that he lost his temper and it wouldn't happen again. And how Travis loved that. Even if it was a lie. The soothing hand running through his hair or rubbing his shoulder. Kenneth tells him stories just like he was a little kid again. 

Travis loved it. So why did he hate touch so severely? 

Pressure on his lap made Travis snap back to reality, seeing that Gizmo was now on his lap. 

Why was there a cat on him..?

"-avis? Hey. You with me?" Sal asked worriedly, sitting in front of Travis. His prosthetic was still off, and if Travis squinted enough, Sal's cheek had a light red mark.

Soon the words began to process for the boy. Sal was talking to him. 

"Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn't have touched you. I know you don't like that, I'm sorry. But you need to breathe. You aren't breathing, man. Try to pet Gizmo to help. " 

Oh right. 

Breathing.

Travis slowly took a few deep breaths, wheezing a bit as the air filled his before looking away from Sal, the soft blush never leaving his cheeks. Sal was right. Gizmo did help; the purring from the cat on his lap helped ground him even more.

"You okay?" Sal asked after a moment. 

"Yeah," Travis whispered.

"You sure you're okay?" Sal frowned, moving to sit next to the teen. You just woke up and began to have a panic attack."

He sucked in a few more breaths of air before nodding. "Yeah. Sorry." Travis mumbled, subconsciously petting Gizmo. "Did I..punch you?" He whispered out." 

"yeah...You uh did punch me." Sal chuckled. "It's fine though."

His hand was still shaking, but at least his breathing had slowed. "That still doesn't-" Travis stammered before groaning out. " I just get so-" What was even the right word for that? Angry? Scared? A mix of both?

"Dude. No, It's fine. Really. I ...deserved it anyway. I shouldn't have touched you. That was on me. I wasn't thinking, and I'm sorry for that." Sal said softly. "Panic attacks suck a lot though. I'm guessing it was from a nightmare?"

Travis glanced back at the boy and nodded slowly. He could see every scar mark on Sal. and how a chunk of his chin was gone like it was blown off. It was odd. But at the same time made Sal even more special. Tavis loved how he looked. But he shouldn't. He shouldn't be looking.  Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination. 

"I was being possessed by a demon..." Travis mumbled, scratching Gizmo's chin. "I was in a temple...and there was this dog man person?" Travis frowned. "I've been having it for the past month. Almost every night." 

"Dog person..?" Sal frowned, a bit of fear in his voice. He took a shaky breath, looking down. "My latest nightmare was with hands dragging me into a grave," Sal said awkwardly. 

"Shit." Travis chuckled sadly. "That doesn't sound good at all."

"Nope." Sal popped the T. "But seriously. If you ever need to talk about the nightmares, let me know. I literally get them almost every night" He smiled. "Especially with those cult nightmares."

"What?" Travis frowned, looking up. "Cult nightmares?" He asked. Was that what they were called? I guess he could see that. Temples...demons...yeah. Cult nightmares.

"I-I've experienced a lot of cult nightmares! That's all. Just know they suck. With...possession," Sal chuckled nervously. "But, if you need anyone to talk to. I'm here."

Travis cracked a weak smile. "Think so?" He asked.

"Course, man! I'm serious. If you ever need to talk about anything, let me know." 

Travis smiled softly at that. "Thanks," he said as Gizmo jumped out of his lap and rubbed his side on Sal's leg before leaving the room. Travis never had anyone who offered to talk, they just saw him as the preacher's boy who got into fights at school. 

"No problem. Are you coming to school today, though?" Sal asked, moving to stand up. "Panic attacks suck...so I just want to make sure. Usually, mine make me feel like shit all day." 

"Yeah, kinda have to go..." Travis sucked a breath in. He didn't want to go. He  really  didn't. Travis was already tired from the nightmare and panic attack, but if his father found out he missed....it would be bad for him. "Grounded and all...so..." Travis frowned, moving to stand up as well. 

Sal looked over, frowning. "Well, you can shower and all if you want, uh...you can use my clothes if you want as well. Or if you wanna change back, but I don't think my clothes will fit anyways," Sal laughed.

Travis paused before nodding, chuckling again. That same familiar pit grew in his stomach. It was always there. Every time he talked to Sal. "Okay..yeah, uh-i'll just take a shower."

"Perfect! I'll get breakfast. Also, my dad may be up, so if you see him. Heads up. Anything, in particular, you want for breakfast?" Sal asked.

Travis felt his stomach growl, and he held his stomach. "Anything, I guess? I'm uh fine." He mumbled. Travis didn't really feel like eating. He hardly ate dinner last night and barely touched lunch. Ever since they stopped serving Bologna, the food was disgusting. Despite his stomach growling, he couldn't eat. That, and the constant pressure from his father, he went without eating for a day here and there.

"Alright! I'll make some scrabbled eggs, but if that's too heavy for you, then I have oatmeal. I always feel nauseous with panic attacks." He hummed. "Not hard to make anyways." The blue hair teened hummed, grabbing his prosthetic, and paused. "Thanks by the way."

"For what?" Travis asked as Sal clipped his prosthetic back into place, however, he left the bottom strap open.

"For not freaking out when you saw my face...I-Thank you."

Travis knew Sal meant that, and it broke his heart. Travis used to mock Sal's prosthetic before knowing what even happened. Did he feel self-conscious because of him? Did Travis make Sal feel-  No. Stop thinking about Sal. Shut up and stop thinking about him.

"Of course." Was all Travis was able to muster out. What else could he say? Frustration and anger climbed their way to Travis already, but he took a breath and pushed it down, knowing it'd come back sooner or later to bite him. But until then he was going to get breakfast with Sal. It was rude to deny food from guests. That's what his father always told him, so despite how much his stomach felt nauseous at the thought of food, he followed Sal out of his room as he started a new day.

Chapter Text

The two began they're walk to school alone, Sal had called Larry and said he could go on without him, that he was running late as a lie. Which, technically it wasn't a lie. They were running late, just not for the reason Larry assumed.

Sal wore a purple skirt with black leggings underneath, a blue turtleneck, and a red jacket over him. And Travis just simply wore a black hoodie with jeans that Johnson left over a year ago, It was simple. He liked it. Travis didn't understand why Sal wanted to wear what he did, but he kept silent about that fact.

"You know Larry's gonna kick my ass once he learns I'm walking with you," Travis mumbled finally. "And that you lied to him."

"Nah, I don't think so." Sal shrugged. "He doesn't hate you really just..." He gestured with his hands, but Travis rolled his eyes. 

"I bullied him since middle school. He has a right to hate me." Travis grumbled looking away. He and Larry used to be friends. Doubt Sal even knew it. Before Larry's father went ' missing ' the two best friends. But then everything changed. His father said he wasn't allowed to see Larry anymore, and things at home got worse around the same time. Maybe he liked the power. The power he had screaming and punching people and making others afraid of him. Like demons inside him, he loved the power. 

"Well, you're not a bully anymore. You're trying, and that's what matters." Sal hummed supportively.

Travis smiled softly at that, looking down again. "Uh...about last night.."

"Hm?"

"Why did you show me your face?" Travis asked curiously. Sal was known to always hide his face, he remembered one time when a piece of his prosthetic chipped off, and the boy covered the hole and ran off. So why now? Why Travis?

Sal was silent at that as Travis continued on. "I've mocked you about that for years. And you just...took it off. Why?"

Sal sighed. "I wanted to I guess?" He said rubbing his shoulder. "Larry and Ash have seen my face anyways... And I thought that if you saw it as well, I have nothing else to hide from you." The teen mumbled. "That I would have control over it. y'know?"

Travis understood completely. He shouldn't, but he did. Wanting to be in control of something in his life was a wish Travis prayed for. Don't get him wrong, he loved God, he loved being blessed by his light, but sometimes it felt too much like he was being shoved into a world Travis couldn't say no to. That all his questions would always be left unanswered.

"Besides, it's really uncomfortable to sleep in this thing" Sal snorted. "

"I could have looked the other way! Or you could have had a face mask!" He protested back. Despite Sal saying he wanted to do this, Travis couldn't help but worry that Sal still felt forced, no matter what Sal said.

"It's okay Travis!" Sal laughed. "Really it is. I don't mind." Sal chuckled as the two continued to make small talk to the school as if they did the homework for math, hoping there would be a sub for Mr. Rigginston's class, and even hobbies they liked to do.

Soon the two entered the school and Sal waved off, leaving Travis to go to his class. Travis walked in the opposite direction as well to History, the hallways buzzing with waves of laughter and yells and Travis only groaned in annoyance at the sound. The morning went on the same as it normally does. Enter class, sit, listen, work, and leave. Enter class, sit, listen, work, and leave. Enter class, see Sal, sit, watch Sal, work, watch how beautiful Sal looks, and leave. Like clockwork Travis memorized. Somedays he would enter class and zone out for it entirely, Hearing and seeing the class around him but never fully processing it. Taking notes that when looked by to, was complete gibberish of words. He had been scolded for "daydreaming" too many times the teachers had given up on him. But Travis didn't understand why he was like this. returning once the bell rang. 

Lunch came around quickly, and Travis entered the cafeteria. He used to love lunch. No, He used to love the bologna they served. What a selfish way to think. Travis loved the bologna. And that was that. He should be grateful food was still being served here, but he still couldn't help but miss the meat. Whatever it was made with, Travis wanted to find out. It was the highlight of the week and one of the only foods his father didn't have an issue with him eating

"Travis over here!" Sal called out, waving him over to their table, already packed with Sal and his friends.

Travis cringed, seeing how the others at the table looked at Sal with wide eyes before cringing back at Travis. Of course, they would still act like that. Just yesterday he sat with them for icecream, and now this. He couldn't mend all the words he spilled in a day. Silently he walked over to the table and plopped down in the seat in front of Sal.

"You're not gonna eat?" Ashley asked frowning as she noticed he didn't have a lunch tray. 

Travis knew she hated him, probably even more than Larry but was trying to make small talk, maybe to appease Sal. "Nah...Not hungry. All the food is shitty here anyways now." Travis said shrugging. That was a fact though. Travis even wondered if it was still edible to even eat...

"You can have my apple" A voice close to him rang out. Travis looked over seeing a green-haired boy with a hat on his head, holding an apple out. Chug.

"Thanks...?" He took it carefully. Why did Chug offer him this? Travis bullied him constantly about how he looked. 

"Of course. No one should go hungry because of horrible lunch food! You should bring food from home. That's what I do!" The boy hummed. "The food here..." Chug shuddered. "

"Yeah. Probably." Travis mumbled as he stared at the apple for a moment. Thoughts swarmed his head but he pushed them away for now, taking a bite of the apple. He would do that. But then Kenneth would notice if anything was missing. 

He always noticed.

And would always make Travis puke it up.

"So wanna hang out tonight?" Ashley asked as lunch went on. Travis tried his best to stay out of the conversation. 

"I'm down" Larry hummed. "Just need to finish some homework."

"Same!" Sal smiled, unclipping the bottom strap of his prosthetic to eat."We could go to the arcade? What about you Travis?" He asked, and almost immediately Travis felt all eyes on him.

He looked around the table and huffed out "Can't," Travis grumbled, taking another bite of the apple.

Larry snorted. "Why? Grounded Phelps?"

"Yep. Can't leave the house except for school and Church for who knows how long" Travis sighed. 

Larry's smile faltered. "Oh. Shit man..." He laughed weakly looking back to his food. 

"I can't go as well" Todd hummed, a soft blush creeping up his face. "Me and Neil are going on a date tonight..." 

"A date?" Larry gasped. "Oh, a date huh~" He shoved Todd playfully. who rolled his eyes.

"Larry!" He laughed. "It's just a movie!" 

"A movie! Oh it's definitely a romcom isn't Morrison!" 

Todd only laughed, adjusting his classes. "You know I hate romcoms. 

Johnson." He teased out. "I would never put Neil through that torture."

"Yeah, but Neil is obsessed with them. You'll go through that torture for Neil huh" He laughed back.

Travis felt his stomach drop as the two laughed. Todd was talking so freely about Neil. His boyfriend and how they would date. The familiar pit in his stomach only grew the more they talked. He felt sick. And...Jealous. How could they talk too freely and not feel disgusted? Not feel ashamed of how God will feel? How could they not fear other people will hear? Travis remembered when Todd and Neil got outed years ago. It was a horrible time for Todd. He remembered seeing the once lively boy be dead silent for weeks on end, eye bags under his eyes, and some days even missing school. Travis thought about mocking him. About telling him this was his punishment for being a sinner but then...He would really be telling on himself. So he decided to stay quiet as well. It made Travis even feel sorry for him. For a moment. They were still going to hell. But...so was he.

Suddenly his stomach lurched and he clutched it with wide eyes. "Excuse me," Travis mumbled setting the unfinished apple down and stood up quickly. Oh, he felt sick.

He felt eyes staring at him and voices calling out in worry as he moved to walk out of the cafeteria. Sweat dripped down his face as his hands shook pushing the doors open. 

 This was wrong. Todd was wrong. How dare he not worry about burning in hell? How dare he smile and laugh about going on a date with his boyfriend?

 He likes a boy, just like you. 

How dare he be able to live his life? 

Bile rose to his throat as he quickly ran to the closet bathroom and shoved the door open. Travis ran to the stall, slamming the door open. Falling to the gross floor as the scrambled eggs and the apple hurled out of him. Travis was sick. Sick in the head and sick in the stomach. Todd was just like him.

And they were both going to hell for it.

He let another gag out, coughing as the door to the bathroom opened. 

"Travis?" Todd's voice called out worriedly. "You in here?" 

Did he follow him in here? "Fuck off Todd!" Travis snapped, gagging again as acid surged from his throat. 

"Hey. You okay?" Todd asked peering into the stall Travis was in. It was a pitiful sight. Travis was sitting on the ground. Vomit and acid dripped from his mouth as his body shook. 

"Fuck off." Travis spat out, moving to wipe his chin and flush the vomit-stained toilet. 

"Nah, I'm good. Just worried for you." The teen hummed

"Why?" He glared at Todd angrily, ignoring the pounding in his head. How numbing it felt to force a word out of his throat. 

"Well, you ran off and threw up, and you look like shit."

"Thanks," Travis grumbled, moving to stand up weakly and started to walk out of the stall,

Todd stepped back, letting Travis leave before he spoke again. "Was it because I said I was going on a date?" He asked.

Travis's face went pale. "What?" He asked. 

"Right after I said I was going out tonight, You ran off and threw up." He scoffed, shaking his head. "Did you seriously get sick 'cause I'm gay?"

Travis looked horrified at that, swallowing. "It's not- no not at all," Travis said as his heart raced. "I've just been feeling sick for the past few days. I'm not- it's not-" He stammered over his words. "I'm not the one who sick- I just-" 

"Okay. Okay-" Todd interrupted, holding his hands up in defense, and sighed. "Okay. It's okay." he sighed, looking Travis over. Travis wasn't blind to it as well, as he only turned away to wash his hands in the sink.

"Do you need to go to the nurse?" Todd asked worriedly. "You look pale, and even at lunch, you seemed off.

Travis scoffed as he turned the sink off, wiping his wet hands on the shirt. "I'm fine." The teen mumbled, wanting this conversation to end. Praying it would end soon.

"You sure?" 

"Yes, I'm fine." He spat out, walking passed Todd, and shoving his shoulder to get to the door. However, his stomach churned again, and the teen moved to grip the sink for support. 

"Travis?" Todd frowned, walking to the boy, and worriedly put a hand on his shoulder. 

Immediately at the touch, Travis's eyes widened as his ears began to ring and the world around him shifted. Like he was in some sort of dream, or seeing a world through someone else's eyes. Travis found himself in a temple of some sort, and on a slab of stone, there tied to it laid a man who locked eyes with him, horrified. 

"Travis?" The man's voice echoed around. The man looked like Todd, but older. And with a beard.

And just like it started, it ended, the world flashing white again as he found himself back in the bathroom. Immediately Travis tensed up, shooting back to Todd. "Don't fucking touch me!" He screamed out, pushing Todd back.  What was that? What the fuck was that?

Todd looked with wide eyes and nodded. "Sorry- I didn't mean to scare you-!" He frowned. "Look...Just, you said you're sick, you can go to the nurse and rest a bit?" Todd asked.

"Don't tell me what to fucking do!" Travis snapped again, his breathing ragged. His head was spinning wildly as whatever happened still didn't leave his mind. Was that God's way of speaking to him? Was that him saying he heard Travis's prayers and gave him some cryptic message? No, no. That couldn't have been God, it felt wrong. It felt evil. Travis felt on edge, this whole day was piling on top of each other and he just wanted to make it stop before he got worse. He didn't even know why he was so angry at Todd. pent-up rage that rooted itself deep within Travis for years. Maybe it was because he was jealous? Why could Todd say he was dating a boy? Why could he say he was gay with no guilt consuming him? It wasn't fair. "Fine," Travis grumbled after a few minutes of him trying to calm himself down "Let's go to the nurse. If it'll make you happy." He rolled his eyes. "And for you to stop bothering me."

That, and maybe he did need to go, maybe whatever he saw was a dream? A sick hallucination his body gave to him? Whatever it was, it still shocked Travis to his core. Maybe that is what Sal meant by after having a panic attack, he would rather relax than leave for school.

The two slowly walked to the nurse in silence, both unsure what to say to the other. That was until Todd reached to open the nurse's door. "Wait-" Travis called out, stopping Todd. "You can't- go in with me...she'll call my dad anyways." 

Todd paused, looking over to Travis. "And you don't want him to know I was with you...?"

"He can't know," Travis begged.  

Todd nodded slowly "I understand...We have English after lunch, I can get the notes down for you if you're not back" The teen smiled. "Get some rest okay?" He said before waving off and walked away. 

Travis watched him leave before he took a deep breath and opened the door to the nurse, peeking inside slowly.

The nurse was at her desk, looking up to the doorway. "Travis? What are you doing here?" She asked. She had faded blue hair. Just like Sally. Only hers was dyed.

He flinched back, holding his stomach as he entered fully. "I think I'm sick. I need to lay down." 

The nurse rolled her eyes and stood up, walking up to Travis and felt his head. Travis trying his best to not flinch away. "You don't have a fever. Just lay down until lunch is over." She hummed, walking back to her desk. "You know your father isn't coming to pick you up."

"Yeah. I know." Travis mumbled out. His father never believed him when he was sick, claiming he was only lying to get out of something. 

Psalm 101:7 "No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes."

Travis has lied to many times before about being sick, completing his homework, reading the bible, and being a devoted Christian. All these things piled up together, hurting him and others. And, like the boy who cried wolf, his father never believed him when he was telling the truth. Guess that is the suffering he deserved for the sins. It was his own fault anyways.

Travis sighed, slowly walked to a bed, and moved to lie down, hissing softly in pain when his back touched the spring-filled mattress. He turned to look upwards, staring at the fluorescent lights as they buzzed that annoying sound. Lights that blinded him like the heavenly sky.

Hah. What a joke.  He thought to himself. Maybe this would be the only time he could see the lights of Heaven. God mocked him after his sinful thoughts of Sal. How beautiful he looked...How much Travis's heart raced when he saw Sal and heard him talk. This was God's punishment. Making him sick and taunting him with blinding lights. 

Soon exhaustion took over Travis, and he fell asleep once more.

Chapter Text

"It's 3:25. You're late." Kenneth hissed out, he was reading a newspaper, not even looking up at Travis as he opened the door. 

He had gone back to class halfway through it, and just like Todd said he had taken notes for him. It confused Travis. Why was he doing this? Was it because of Sally? Just being nice to Travis for Sal's sake? Nonetheless. He was thankful. Despite his hating school attitude. He was already in trouble for failing Math. He couldn't fail a second one. 

Travis's heart raced "One of the teachers, wanted to ask me a question. I'm sorry Father." He said quietly, shutting it behind him.

Kenneth only grunted at that. "Very well. It's good you're taking time for your academics. I don't want you to fail school. Travis. You're a Phelps."

Travis still held his breath. As if he was waiting for something to happen. It was bound to. It always did.

"Why the fuck are you standing around for?" He snapped. "Get your homework done. Now."

"Of course. Yes, Father." Travis quickly moved to sit down at the dining table, opening his backpack to pull his papers for an essay out and set it down. Quickly he began to write. It needed to be 1,000 words, and he only had 200. 

Travis began to work on it, it was a messy draft. But that's what it needed to be. A draft. He would revise it later.

"What's your essay about?" A voice loomed over him after an hour of silence. 

Travis nearly jumped out of his skin and looked up to see his father peering down.

"It's about the civil war," Travis said glancing up at his father. "Just an informative essay. Facts about it.."

"Interesting. Our family never fought in it. Did you know that?" 

Travis looked puzzled "But-"

"We didn't see the need for such a thing. We lived where we lived and didn't interfere. That's the Phelps way. We helped if needed, But we didnt fight. The whole war was terrible though. If you need any help, let me know"

Travis frowned. A bit confused but pushed it aside. Thankful his father even offered his help.

"I got a call today though. From school." Kenneth said, the topic moving on to the next.

Oh.

Fuck. 

"Yeah?" He gripped the pencil tightly.

"About how you went to the nurse's office? You felt ill?" 

"We had a test today. I was nervous." Travis lied. his heart racing. Surely he wouldn't know, right? Surely not.

"A test?" Kenneth raised his eyebrow "You were that nervous you went to the nurse? Over a stupid test?"

"Yes, father," Travis mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"That's pathetic." He snapped. "Just over a dumb test, you felt like throwing up. What's next? Claiming you have anxiety again? You know those are demons trying to enter your mind. They're not real."

"I know. It won't happen again."

Kenneth huffed, shaking his head before he placed a hand on Travis's hair, ruffling it around. "Your roots are growing in. Dye it soon." Kenneth scoffed in disgust, shoving the back of Travis's head. "Worst enough your whore of a mother gave me a child that looked like her. You have her whole face. Every man in our family has taken after his father. But it's like I'm I see her again whenever I look at you. The least you could do is dye your hair to match mine." 

"I'll dye it tomorrow, we are running low on hair dye..I'll buy some," Travis mumbled and looked down. He always remembered having his hair dyed. Ever since his mom left, Kenneth immediately started to dye his hair to look like his.

He narrowed his eyes at that. "You are grounded still. You do know that" Kenneth huffed. "But very well. I will go with you to buy it. Get dinner ready as well soon," Kenneth grumbled. "I'm working late today in the church. Lots of meetings. I won't be back until the morning. Okay?"

"Of course." Travis nodded, looking back down to write his essay. 

"Oh and Travis?"

"Yes, Father?" Travis looked up, seeing his father's cold eyes staring back at him.

" You're the pastor's son for crying out loud. Look presidential at least." 

Travis looked down at that, nodding. "Yes sir." His stomach growled. But he wasn't hungry. 

Kenneth shook his head, walking back to his chair.

Travis spent the next hour finishing his draft before he set it back in his backpack, quickly took it upstairs, and set it down next to the door before walking back down to prepare dinner.  He opened the fridge, glancing around to find something. Travis opened the freezer and grabbed the broccoli, setting it on the counter, then grabbed some carrots, butter, and anything else he could find before starting to prepare Broccoli Cheddar Soup. With what they had, it was the perfect meal. 

Soon the meal was ready, and he set down two bowls at the table, one having significantly more soup than the other. "Dinners ready father" Travis said before sitting down."Would you like me to say grace?" Travis asked as Kenneth stood up and walked to the table.

"I'll say it." He huffed, gripping Travis's hand, and closed his eyes "Master above all. We are in your debt. We will follow the guidelines you set forth for us. We will never stray from the path. The fire within us burns bright. The shadows within us burn brighter. Blessed are we to be shown the truth of the world through your eyes. Amen."

"Amen," Travis said, pulling away and started to eat. "Father. Can I ask you something?" He asked a few minutes later, setting his spoon down. 

"Hm?" Kenneth didn't look up.

"The...Bologna. From school? The one Mrs. Packerton made? What's the recipe? We can try to make it here.."

"Why is this coming up all of a sudden? You know she died weeks ago."

"I-I know...I was just curious if we could maybe make it here. What was the meat made of?" 

"No." Kenneth spat.

"But why-"

"I said no Travis."

"But it was good food! I enjoyed the way she made it and I want to make it-"

Travis flinched as Kenneth slammed his hands down. "Say one more thing and I'll fucking rip your vocal cords out. Do you hear me, boy?" Kenneth hissed out. "

He stared with wide eyes and swallowed. "Yes sir," Travis mumbled looking down at his soup.

Kenneth sighed. "If you need to know...She made the meat in a special way. And without her...it will just go to waste." Kenneth sighed, glancing up at Travis, and narrowed his eyes. "You loved it... Didn't you?" He asked curiously. 

"I did." Travis nodded. "It was...one of the only good meals in the school." Travis laughed weakly. 

Kenneth did not laugh back.

He was about to speak up again but decided not to, looking down at his food. He had seemed to lose his appetite. 

"However." Kenneth coughed. "I can see if we can l learn the recipe...For the bologna." Kenneth smiled.

"Really?" His eyes widened looking back up immediately.

"Yes. As long as your grades get better and you take your role as the chosen one more seriously. Once you turn 18, I want you to take over the church. You know that right?" 

"I know" Travis nodded, hiding a grin that wanted to spread on his face. 

"Good. Then I can ask around again to see to it. However, I don't think we could put it in the school. The resources she made to make the bologna...we can't do it again on a large scale like that anymore. How does that sound? You can have it all you want. It will be special. Just for you" Kenneth chuckled. 

"Th-that sounds amazing. Thank you so much!" Travis grinned happily. 

Kenneth nodded. "However. Let's keep it a secret. Shall we? I don't want any other kids to feel jealous you're getting treatment because your old man made a few calls." He laughed.

"Of course. Thank you so much."

The rest of dinner was in silence, the occasional slurp being heard. But Travis was ecstatic. One of the only things that brought him joy he could have again. 

Kenneth stood up, wiping his mouth with a napkin after an hour. "Clean this up once you're done. I'll be leaving in a few minutes" Kenneth hummed. The phone rang and Kenneth sighed, moving out of the kitchen.

Travis nodded slowly, standing up as well, and grabbed the bowls and spoon. He brought them to the sink and started to wash them silently. After he dried them Travis placed them into the dishwasher. Once that was done Travis washed his hands and sighed. 

"Travis?" Kenneth called out. The phone call was already over, which worried Travis a bit.

"Yes, Father?" Travis looked back in his direction.

"You're a Phelps. Remember that." Kenneth said. He was standing in the hallway, just in front of the phone, glaring back at Travis.

"Of course." Travis slowly walked to Kenneth, despite fear flooding him.

 "You say that." Kenneth crossed his arms disappointedly. "I want you to be the chosen one. I really do. But can I even trust you?" He asked.

"I- don't understand?" Travis frowned. Fear flooded him. "You can trust me, father."

"Can I? Cause I just got off the phone with the principal. You're failing another class right now."

Travis's heart dropped. "Father I-" 

"God is always watching son." He glared at Travis. "So make sure you hold onto your reputation and stay on the path. You failing a class is highly disappointing."

Travis stepped back, his heart racing in fear. He failed again. 

"We are Phelps. We do not fail classes. Do I need to remind you what happens when one does?"

"No!" Travis yelled out. Big mistake. 

Kenneth slapped Travis hard, making the teen gasp and fall to the ground. He backed up into a wall, watching as Kenneth undid his belt. 

"Father. Please-" Travis begged.

But it didn't work. 

Kenneth brought the belt down on Travis a few times. The teen refusing to let any sobs out. He didn't want it to get worse. Crying would always make it worse. "Go to your room." Kenneth snapped after a minute. He tied the belt around his waist "And never talk back to me again. Is that clear? I do all of this because I love you. My father was worse than you can imagine Travis. Me putting pressure on you is nothing. So suck. It. Up." 

Travis felt tears sing his eyes as he slowly stood up. His body hurt. "Yes sir." He whispered, moving to walk up the stairs despite his legs feeling like jelly. Slowly he closed the door, swallowing a sob. His father was right. He brought shame to the Phelps name. He deserved to be punished. It was his fault anyways for straying off the path. He needed good grades. But he failed that as well. He sunk to the ground, biting his fist to stop the sobs from escaping. He hated this. He hated this feeling.  He was chosen. He was chosen for him  He prayed to God. He repented for everything he did. So why was he still being punished? Did God hate him this much for liking a boy? Was this his punishment? A never-ending cycle of the same thing over and over again? Was this his limbo?  He could never escape it. No matter what he did it was always the same

 fucking 

thing. 

Travis pulled his knees close to his chest. With his elbows resting on his knees he gripped his hair and began to hit his head with his fists. He was getting into dangerous territory. 

Who would really miss him? 

If he did disappear. Vanish. Die suddenly. Who would miss him? Truly miss him? He had no friends. Everyone steered away from the bad kid. He was the preacher's son. Yet everyone hated him like the devil. Sal? 

Sal would be sad. But move on. He didn't care for someone as pathetic as Travis. He bullied him all through high school. Sal should hate him. But he didn't. He was kind to him...helped him through a panic attack, and talked to him like a friend would. He was so nice to him. But Sal wouldn't miss him. Not really. If he did however he would get over him quickly. Travis gritted his teeth, slowly lowering his hands, and, looked at the wall next to him. Doing what he always did. He punched it. Hard. It didn't leave a hole but redded Travis's fists. So he did it again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Travis wanted to scream. To claw his throat out and scream out all his agony. But with his father still, this was the best he could do downstairs. Finally, after one last punch, Travis looked down at his shaking fist. It was blistered and bruised. And it hurt. It hurt like a mother fucker. 

But it wasn't enough. 

He took a shaky breath, slowly standing up, and walked to his dresser. Travis pulled the drawer out and pulled the bottom of it out, it being a fake piece of square wood. On the real bottom, there was a pocket knife he got as a gift a year ago. Travis took the knife and looked at it blankly.

He deserved this. 

He deserved it all. 

Travis rolled his sleeve up on his other arm, his right arm still needed to heal. Travis was left-handed. Could you believe that? Well not anymore. Travis used his right hand. He still remembers how Kenneth threatened to break his fingers if he continued to right with the devil's hand.So he deserved this. He deserved another ugly mark to add to his ugly gross stupid body. Because that's who he was. He was stupid and ugly and gross. Inside and out and-

A sharp pain shocked his body. 

Oh shit. 

Travis set the pocket knife in his pocket, looking at what he has done with wide. Shit. Maybe that was a bit too far. Father would yell at him for staining the floor. Shit shit. He would have to clean it and the knife later. God. He was fucking useless. Couldn't even do this right. Travis placed his hand on his arm and snuck out of his room and entered the bathroom, not being allowed to lock it he prayed that his father wouldn't come in. He always knocked. They both did this to make sure no one would be walked in on. But Travis knew he wouldn't have enough time left if there was a knock.Rinsing his arm under the water, watching as the blood turned the clear water red. Once it was cleaned, or at least stopped bleeding he went to the cabinet, pulling out some bandages and gauze. He placed the medical gauze on his arm before wrapping the bandages around it. 

He looked at his arm and sighed.

Travis would repent later. 

He wiped his eyes and took a shaky breath, pulling his sleeve down and flushed the toilet before turning the water on again, actually washing his hands again, as well as the pocket knife. Once both were clean he pocketed it and turned the water off, walking out of the bathroom. He looked around the hallway and frowned, it seemed bare. Did Kenneth leave already?

Slowly he crept down the stairs, looking around. 

Silence. 

Kenneth was gone.

Travis smiled weakly at that, walking over to the phone. He wanted to talk. No. He needed to talk to someone after all of that. He wasn't in the right mindset. And needed a distraction. Like his body moved for him, he pressed in the familiar number.

"Hello?" Sal's voice said after a moment. 

"Sal! H-hey" Travis sniffed, wiping his eyes. "It's Travis."

"Travis! Oh hey, what's up? You feeling better?" Sal asked. 

"Oh. Uh, a bit yeah. Probably just nerves. What I was feeling. Just nerves I think. Or from the panic attack, I had this morning." Travis mumbled, looking at his bruised knuckle. He should probably ice it soon.

"That's good. And yeah. Panic attacks for me knock me out for the whole day or even more. But I'm glad your feeling better."

Travis smiled, his heart beating. "Yeah, Hey uh, Sal..?"

"Mhm?"

 "I was wondering...since I'm grounded still. If you want to come to church with me? On Sunday?" Travis asked hopefully. He didn't know why he was asking. His father would kill him if he learned Travis invited Sal over to the church.

"Oh...probably. Yeah. I can make it what time is it at?"

"9:00-10:00 am. I usually stay until noon though, helping clean and all. Other people stay back as well to talk to my father" Travis mumbled "Just uh. He is...intense. With what he says.." Travis swallowed "just to warn you and all" Travis mumbled. 

"Oh. No worries. Thanks for letting me know!" Sal smiled. "So. Did you call me to just ask about church or?" Sal laughed. 

Travis's face blushed. "Oh- uh- no- No!" He laughed, "I can talk more if you want!" He could feel ringing in his ears, Sals voice making his legs feel like jelly.

"Cool," Sal hummed. "I'm just waiting with Larry for the new Sanity Falls album."

"Sanity Falls..?" 

"Yeah! It's this metal band. Uh, if you listen to metal" 

"Yeah, not really my thing. I don't like metal."

"No worries! But yeah! The new album is dropping tonight. I and Larry are super excited."

Travis swallowed. "I could...uh could I stay with you? On the phone at least. For a bit longer then? Until the album comes"

"Oh." Sal paused and hummed. "Yeah, that's totally fine! It may be a while though." 

Travis looked at the clock, it was 8 pm "Yeah. That's fine. My father is at the church anyways, so I'm good." 

 "Why is your dad at the church at 8 pm on a Friday?" Sal asked confusedly on the other end. "I know he's the pastor...but he's there like every day now.

Travis shrugged. "Some meeting thing. I don't know. He says other churches want him to speak out of town, so maybe that's why?"

Sal was silent on the other end, making Travis a bit worried. did he say something? "Sal?"

"Huh?"

"You there?" Travis asked. Did he say something?

"Oh yeah. Sorry." Sal chuckled nervously. "Larry was just talking. Anyways, there's gonna be a huge storm coming. The news said it may start this week. You ready for it?"

Travis smiled, leaning on the wall. "Not really. I'll have to walk to school which sucks."

"Don't you have a bike? Or take the bus?" 

Travis shook his head. "My bike broke a month ago and the bus arrives too fucking early. My block is the first stop."

"Wait when does it arrive?"

"6:30 am"

"Oo yikes."

"Yeah...way too early for me. So walking is the best choice. It's only a 15 minute walk anyways." 

"Well if you ever need a ride let me know. We don't have a car but Neil does. He takes us sometimes"

Oh, Neil. Oh no. Todd's boyfriend. He probably hated his guts. Todd probably told him everything about the bullying. Travis swallowed nervously "Well uh, I-"

He was cut off by a muffled voice on the other side yelling.

"It's out now!?" Sal gasped.

"Yeah! The radio is gonna play it in like two minutes!!" The voice said, which Travis assumed was Larry. 

"Travis I am so sorry. Can we talk later? The album is out!" Sal squealed. He sounded so happy.

"Oh." Travis paused, warmth still spreading to his cheeks. "That's fine, yeah it's okay. Talk to you soon Bye Sal"

"Bye! See you Sunday!" 

Travis hung the phone up, burying his head in his hands. He was madly in love with Sal Fisher. There was no denying it.

Chapter Text

Yo quick update may take a while for the next chapter to be posted as finals are creeping up on me!! yikes. I have a chapter over halfway done already so I MAY be able to post it but realistically don't expect it for another good week or two. But then after that I'm on break for almost a month, so then a lot of chapters will be coming! I am hoping for once a week, could be more, could be less but until then, take care!!

Chapter Text

"Church? Seriously dude?" Larry asked as Sal finished buttoning a dark blue shirt.

The two were in Sal's room, Larry sitting on a beanbag with Gizmo in his lap. 

"What?" Sal laughed, moving to grab a tie. "Travis asked me to go on Friday night. I don't have anything else to do anyways today" He shrugged. "Plus he seems kinda sad on the phone on Friday. Thought he could use the company."

"Travis. Sounded sad. Sure" He laughed. "Was he crying as well?" 

"I'm serious!" Sal laughed, reaching for his bed, and threw a pillow at Larry. Which made Gizmo hiss and jump out of Larry's lap."I wanna keep him company. He's been trying to be a better person. Especially in this past month."

Larry scoffed.

"You've seen him, Larry! At lunch and out of school. He's a lot nicer."

Larry rolled his eyes. "Fine yeah. Yeah, I've seen him. And I guess he's been nicer. But the way he acted at lunch on Friday rubbed me the wrong way." 

"When he left?" 

Larry only grunted, looking away.

"Dude. Todd said that Travis threw up and went to the nurse. Travis even said he could have been sick. I'm pretty sure that's the whole story." 

"Yeah sure. Probably." Larry mumbled. "I'll be nice to him for your sake. But I still don't trust him. He's been a fucking asshole for all of the high school to us. I'll forgive him. But it'll take a while. He punched you!" 

Sal rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Fine yeah. I see your point..." He mumbled. "But I still want to give him a chance. And he is proving it to me."

"Why do you even want to be around him anyways?" Larry crossed his arms. "It was like one day you hated him...and then the other you were calling him over for lunch."

Because of the note. Because of the talk in the bathroom weeks ago. Because of Travis calling him out of the blue one night, having bruises over his face.

"I don't know. I just...I like hanging around Travis. We've talked about things." Sal hummed. "Besides. How bad could church be today? I'm just...going to hear...Kenneth Phelps...speak." Sal groaned. "I've survived worse."

Travis wasn't sure how to feel about church. Some weeks he loved it. Getting to hear stories about God, how to better one's self and be happier...But other times he hated it. He felt a sick pull in his stomach every time his father would go on about how 'homosexuals were disgusting creatures. And how they had no place except Hell.' The worst part about it was everyone in the church agreed. They clapped and cheered. 

Everyone would want him dead.

Travis felt dizzy. He stumbled for a moment before gaining composer again, looking at himself in a mirror in Kenneth's office. Travis slowly pulled his shirt up, frowning at the deep bruise that still lingered on his skin. Travis sighed, pulling his shirt down and adjusting his sleeves. He was wearing a black button-up as well as pants. Simple church attire. Travis's cheekbones seemed more defined as well. He always had strong cheekbones. Got them from his mother. He hated it. He hated how unsettling it made him look. He hated the way his nose looked. It looked like God had dropped him on the ground when he made his body out of clay. His nose is forever distorted. He hated his voice. It was high-pitched and nasally. Made him want to stop talking some days.

Maybe he should take his father's offer up in letting him rip his vocal cords out. 

And he hated his back. God, he hated his back. It was supposed to be a symbol of salvation. A symbol that he proved himself worthy of. But it made him want to claw his own body out, to step out of his skin, throw it away and make a new one out of clay.

"Travis." 

Speaking of his father. 

Travis turned around, looking up at his father, and forced a smile out. "Yes Sir?"

"Are you ready?" He asked. "We're about to start" 

"I'm ready." Travis hummed, moving with his father to enter the stage area of the church. 

The rows were filled with people. It was way more than last week. Travis glanced around the room, his eyes stopping on a familiar prosthetic in the back of the room. A soft smile crept onto his face. 

Sal came here. He actually came! And he looked...good. Travis shuddered at that thought looking away. Sinful. Especially in a church.

"Now before we start. My son has prepared a speech. Travis?" Kenneth smiled proudly looking at his son.

He looked to his father and nodded, walking up to the podium and coughed. he had to make him proud. "Oh lord, we thank thee. Carry our souls into the land of salvation." Travis spoke. "We cater ourselves to thy name. Lord O'Mighty. Bring life to our land, and we shall be forever in your debt. Lord Almighty. Blessed be. Take us to our sanctuary. Until the day comes, we shall be grateful for all entirety." His body shook once he finished. Why was that so hard to do? His hands shook, and his breathing started to quicken.

The crowd clapped slowly as Kenneth put a hand on Travis's shoulder, the teen flinching. "He's an amazing writer everyone" Kenneth beamed proudly. "Someday he may write great things as well as lead! Now." Kenneth spoke, letting go of Travis, and turned to the audience. "When you look at yourself. Ask. What would God think? How disappointed would he be with you? What sins have you committed this week?"

And then an odd thing happened. 

It wasn't odd to Travis, but it was something he did quite often. Sometimes his mind would wander and his body would move on its own.

He could still talk and hear what people said. But it was like his mind wasn't there.

It happened sometimes with Kenneth as well. 

Sometimes. 

Sometimes when it got too overwhelming. 

When it was too much for Travis to handle, his mind would wander as well. And before he knew it, he was sitting on a table, with Kenneth patching his wounds, apologizing for going too far. 

But other times. Mostly he came back hours later sitting on his bed. 

"Son." 

Travis snapped back to reality, looking at his father with wide eyes, before looking back to the audience. They were staring at him. 

Oh, God. All eyes were on him. 

He started to feel dizzy again.

"Son?" Kenneth hissed again, placing a hand on Travis's shoulder, and squeezing it tightly. "Everything alright?" He breathed out angrily. 

"Yes. Of course. Apologies." He forced a smile out. "I'm alright." 

"You want to continue for me?"

"A-about?" 

The hand on his shoulder tightened.

"How to purify one's soul... I talked to you about this, this morning." Kenneth growled, letting his shoulder go. "Leave now if you can't continue. But next time don't make a fool out of me." He whispered into his ear. 

Travis stepped back at that, with wide eyes. 

Oh fuck. 

Fuck fuck fuck.

Travis swallowed and nodded, looking back to the audience. He could see some people whispering already. 

Travis swallowed again, feeling his hands begin to shake as he quickly exited the stage.

He turned the corner to an empty hall, gripping his clothes as they choked him. It was getting harder to breathe as well. Quickly, Travis tugged at his collar and pulled it away, gasping for air. The world felt like it was spinning. Travis's breathing became quicker, as he leaned on the wall for support before sliding down, gripping his hair.

He messed up.

At church. His first chance. The one chance his father gave him a chance to speak and he messed up!

Travis began to hit his head with his hands. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to scream. To sob. To break something. To smash his hand on a wall. To break every bone in his body. 

He was angry. 

"Travis?" A quiet voice echoed in his muffled mind.

Travis stopped hitting himself, still gripping his hair, and looked up with wide horrified eyes. Sal soon came into his view.

Sal. No. Anyone but Sal. 

Have Larry come for all he cared. 

But not Sal.

"Hey...you okay?" Sal frowned, noticing the scene in front of him. Travis was curled up on himself, gripping chunks of his hair as silent tears poured down his face. 

"It's uh...the ceremony thing...your dad may come looking for you, he was talking about wanting you to speak again," Sal spoke quietly, scratching the back of his head.

Travis's chest hurt. It was getting hard to breathe. "Yes-Yes I'm fine. It's fine- I'll be ready soon." Travis swallowed out, letting go of his hair, and gripped his chest again as he wheezed. 

Sal moved and sat in front of him, even with the prosthetic. His eyes held worry. "You're having a panic attack again, you to breathe with me okay?"

Travis was about to speak out but realized he couldn't. Choaked-out gasps only escaped his mouth.

Oh, breathe. Oh shit. He couldn't breathe. He was dying! He would go to hell now. Before he was ready. This isn't fair.

"Travis..." Sal moved to place a hand on him, but pulled his arm away, remembering how Travis jerked away at the touch. "Travis, you need to breathe. Can you do that? Breath." 

"I can't-" He gasped out "I can't breathe, I can't do it I can't-" Tears welled in his eyes. 

"Yes, you can." Sal frowned. Look at me okay?" He said, holding up his hand. "Breathe in for four." Sal said.

Travis looked confused at that, but did so anyways, turning to see Sal.

"Now out for four." Sal lowered his fingers.

Travis breathed out.

"Breathe in." 

Travis breathed in.

"And out."

He breathed out.

Soon his breathing evened out, and he took deep slow breaths. Travis leaned his head back on the wall, still breathing in slowly. 

"Do you want a hug?" Sal asked after a few moments of silence.

"No." Travis shuddered. He wanted to touch. He wanted someone to hold him, but he couldn't. It was just too much. "J-just my shoulder though," Travis said for a moment. "You can touch my shoulder...But that's it." Travis mumbled, looking away from Sal and uncurled himself. He couldn't face him.

Sal nodded, moving to sit next to Travis, and gently rubbed his shoulder.

"Sorry," Travis mumbled, wiping his eyes and sniffed

"Don't be... You're getting panic attacks a lot. You had one Friday morning and now today...everything okay?" Sal frowned. 

"I'm just... stressed out I guess." He mumbled looking down. "Too much going on." Travis wiped a tear from his face. "These last few days have been shit."

"You...wanna talk about it?" 

Travis took a deep breath. "I freaked out whenever everyone was looking at me," Travis grumbled. "They were all whispering about me. And I just panicked. Then I spaced out." Travis explained. "Whenever my father started talking. About uh... souls and stuff? Was that what he was talking about?" Travis chuckled. 

"Yeah. He was talking about how we are just mouths for God's will" Sal laughed. "Can I ask about that? Is that okay?"

Travis shrugged, already feeling a bit better ."Sure, what do you want to know?" He sniffed, already feeling much better.

"What's with all the...purifying one's soul and staying on the path?"

"Sal." Travis shifted to look at Sal "Sometimes you see more with your eyes closed." He explained. "And that's what we teach! We are mouths to a greater being!" A smile spread on his face, as he moved his hands while he talked. "We are destined to do amazing things. If we just follow the path. We can never stray from it." Travis said. "If we do then...the ones we love are punished." 

"Punished?"

Travis nodded. "Plagues...wildfires...we will be punished if we don't do what we're told." Travis frowned, moving to grip his cross sitting on top of his chest, glancing over to Sal's blank face.

"It seems intense. I know." He shuddered. "Sometimes his teaches are intense..." Travis looked down. "But the hand that pulls the strings does so for a reason. He controls it all. My father doesn't own me. But God does." Travis explained. "I'm my person, I just…follow whatever the Lord tells us." He mumbled, looking back up to Sal and forcing a smile before it faded. "Everyone was whispering once I spaced out...weren't they?"

"No. No one was whispering. " Sal said softly. "When you left your dad apologized and said you were just feeling sick and went to lay down." He explained. "Are you still sick? I thought you said you felt better."

"I don't know" Travis mumbled looking away. "Yesterday I felt fine but today? I just feel sick all over. My stomach hurts. My hands- are sweaty. My whole body shakes. I've been feeling dizzy since I got here."

"Did you eat breakfast?" Sal asked.

Travis frowned at that, shaking his head "No...I forgot."

"Well, that's why." Sal chuckled, pulling an orange from his jacket pocket. "Don't ask why I have it in my pocket. Just take it." Sal offered. 

He raised an eyebrow. "So you just keep an orange in your pocket every time you go out?" Travis chuckled, taking the orange. 

Sal snorted. "I keep it if I get hungry! I told you not to ask!" He laughed under his prosthetic. 

Travis laughed at that as well. "What other things do you have in your pocket huh?" He laughed. 

Sal's shoulders shook as he laughed. "O-oh let me see" He turned to dig in his pocket before facing Travis again, pulling his hand out and sticking a middle finger out.

Travis let a yell of a laugh out, covering his mouth as giggles tried to force their way out. "Why is this so funny?" He snorted.

Sal laughed back as well, holding his stomach as he wheezed. "Oh- fuck" He snorted. "Tears are coming out of my eye Travis thanks a lot." Sal laughed. The two looked at each other again before erupting back into laughter.

After a few minutes, Travis wheezed, shaking his head as his laughter died down. "I haven't laughed like that in years-" He chuckled. 

Sal chuckled and smiled. "Well, I'm glad I could help." He hummed, leaning his head back on the wall. "But- I'm serious" Sal chuckled again. "At least eat the orange. It may help you not feel as dizzy." 

"Guess you're right" Travis smiled, reaching for the orange to hold onto it.

Sal didn't say anything, but he noticed Travis's bruised knuckles. He was glad his prosthetic covered his whole face. Or Travis would see his sad eyes.

Travis looked at the orange and sighed. "The..uh...ceremony. I should get back. I don't want my father to ask where I am." "Thank you by the way...for coming after me. And making me almost piss myself from laughter."

Sal snorted. "Of course. Glad I could help!" Sal hummed, moving to stand up, and so did Travis.

"Can we meet up tomorrow?" Travis asked. Why did he ask that? Travis didn't know why he even asked that! But he did! And now Sal was looking over at him again. 

"Uh..yeah sure. Where too?" 

Travis's eyes widened. Shit. He didn't expect Sal to agree. Oh, shit shit. This was just getting worse and worse! 

"We can meet at Lake Wendigo?" Sal offered when Travis didn't respond. 

Lake Wendigo.

His mom use to take them there.

He's never been back there since she left.

"Lake Wendigo. Yeah." Travis nodded. "Can we meet tomorrow? 7 pm." 

"Tomorrow" Sal smiled softly. "And hey...if you ever need to talk... I'm here okay?" 

"I know."

"Hey. And promise me you'll eat that orange?" Sal asked, pointing to the food.

"I promise. I'm here for another hour anyways. I'll eat it while cleaning."

That was a promise. A promise Travis wouldn't dare break. 

The car ride after cleaning up at the church was silent. Travis didn't dare speak. He could tell his Father was mad. Who knows about what this time?

"I thought I told you to stop hanging out with that boy," Kenneth grumbled, breaking the deathly silence.

"I didn't know he would be there." Travis lied, looking down. Sal. He was mad about Sal.

"Travis."

"Yes?"

"Stop lying."

Travis's breath hitched. "I'm sorry sir." 

"You've been hanging out with them. Haven't you?" He gripped the steering wheel angrily. "Been hanging out with the queers of this town. You're not a queer. Are you?"

"Of course not."

Kenneth rolled his eyes. "Well stop fucking acting like one. How many times do you need to get it in your skull? You're my son. A son of God. And a Phelps. So start fucking acting like one." Kenneth snapped.

Travis's swallowed weakly, nodding. "I know father. I promise you. I'm not queer. It's just.." He needed to think of a lie. Something to get his father off his back.

"Just what? Spit it out."

"I'm trying to save Sal." He blurted out, looking over at his father. Who seemed to believe the lie so fat.."I- He's a sinner. That's for sure. But like you said...the sinner can be saved. Can they not?" Travis asked.

"I did say that." Kenneth only grumbled. 

"So I thought- I could become friends with him..and his friends to try to save him. That's why he was at our ministry today. I asked him to come."

"And when he followed you?"

Shit. Did he see that?

"He...wanted to check up on me. That's the truth. But we also talked. He asked about staying on the path...what it meant. Since he was confused, so I told him." It was the truth! Not a single lie! His father  had  to of believed him.

"Hm. Well done Travis. I'm impressed." 

The words bore into Travis's soul. His father was impressed with him. Even if it was a lie. He could repent to God and only God. Kenneth would never know. 

Soon Kenneth parked the car in the driveway and the two moved to climb out. 

He made his way inside the house, immediately going to the bathroom. Travis looked at himself in the mirror. God, he looked like shit. Travis ran a hand through his hair again. Why did God make him so.. ugly? Why did he give him all these thoughts? Thoughts about other boys, thoughts about Sal...Thoughts about dying. Maybe God wanted him dead too.

Stop. No. 

He promised himself he wouldn't go into that mindset. He quickly washed his hands before running a hand through his hair and left the bathroom. Travis was about to go back to the living room but stopped thinking for a moment...Maybe he could call Sal. Travis quickly moved to walk to the phone, pulling the phone off the wall, and dialed Sal's number again. Soon the line picked up. "Hey," Travis whispered. "This is Travis."

"Hello," Sal whispered back chuckling. "Everything okay?"

"I'm just about to eat lunch, my dad is in the other room as well...so, I just wanted to talk for a moment"

"Nice. What are you going to have?"

"Oh, uh-Just a sandwich. What about you?" He asked. 

"Some mashed potatoes" Sal hummed. "I..liked hanging out today. Even if it was for a little bit. It was nice." 

"Yeah" Travis smiled, keeping his voice low. "It was nice" He smiled, feeling the heat creep to his face. "I'm excited about tomorrow. You gonna bring food in your pockets there?" 

"Oh you know I am. I'm thinking I can fit a fudge sundae in it" Sal chuckled "Also. How do you feel about music? I know you said you don't like metal but what music do you like?"

"Oh." Travis thought. "I only listen to church and opera music, to be honest. But I don't mind hearing others."

"Great! I can bring my radio over then!" 

"Travis?" Kenneth's voice interrupted his talk. 

Oh shit. He knew his father would be over here any second!

"Shit- I gotta go. See you tomorrow at school. " Travis said, not even bothering to hear what Sally said after. He quickly placed the phone on the wall again, whirling around just in time as his father walked into view. 

"Father!" Travis asked frowning. "What are...did something happen?" 

"Bible study. Remember Travis? You never came over. I was worried." 

Bible study. Right. He forgot! 

"Yes. Of course. Apologies. I lost track of time." Travis spoke, starting to move before Kenneth stopped him.

"How is your back healing?" He asked all of a sudden.

Travis swallowed. "It's healing alright. Still hurts to..lay on it. But it's good."

Kenneth nodded slowly "I didn't want it to hurt Travis. But it means you are chosen. At such a young age as well. 17. You will save us all." 

"You mean it..?" Travis asked with wide eyes. 

"I know so son."

Travis smiled again upon hearing those words. He was destined for greatness.

"I'm gonna get some water and a sandwich. Then I'll join." Travis smiled.

"Of course. I'll be waiting." Kenneth hummed, turning to walk around to the living room.

Travis walked into the kitchen at that. Ignoring how his head was pounding and a buzzing sound filled his head. It was probably just nerves.

Travis grabbed a glass, opening the freezer to grab some ice and then the fridge for water and the jelly. He turned around to grab the bread but froze. 

There was a shadowy figure with red eyes staring back at him, looking him down. The same shadowy figure he's seen in the past. Stood in front of him. Its eyes bore into his soul. Travis's breath hitched, and he dropped the jelly to the floor, not realizing how much his body was shaking. Soon the world turned sideways, and before he knew it turned black.

Chapter Text

Travis woke up in blackness. Complete blackness. No shadows.  No walls. No floor or ceiling. He couldn't tell if he was laying down or standing up.

 "Hello..?" He mumbled.  Where was he? The last thing he remembered was Travis went to get jelly...then.  Oh yeah. He saw that same shadowy figure...and then he was here. Where even was here? 

Travis took a step forward. Or what seemed like forward. He didn't feel the ground. Every step felt like he was about to fall, but he never fell. Travis slowly began to talk around, taking in his surroundings. Or what was meant to be. 

It was confusing. And Odd. It was deathly silent and a part of Travis thought he was dead. Did all of his sins finally catch up to him? It is said that people hallucinate before death...Was this what hell was? Internal suffering of nothing? If so then...makes sense. This seemed like hell. Or maybe. Just maybe. And Travis hoped it wasn't true. This was the afterlife. He failed. Straying from the path too much, his soul was now fractured. This was his afterlife. An entirety of nothing as punishment for his sins.

He walked for what seemed like hours, or minutes. Time didn't even exist here until an object came into view. Travis frowned, slowly walking closer and closer. The object in mind was Sals prosthetic. Laying on what he deemed the ground. He bent down, picked it up, and looked it over. That was weird. Why was his prosthetic here? Was Sal here? If so, why did he leave his prosthetic on the ground? 

A drop of red liquid landed on the mask. Then another one. And another. It painted the prosthetic red. Confused Travis looked up to see where it was coming from, and his heart dropped.

The sight he saw was worse than anything he could think of. Everyone was dead. Sal. Larry, Ashley, Todd, and even Chug, and Maple. Their eyes were hollow, lifeless. Their necks were slashed open and they were hanging upside down. Their blood dripped downwards onto a symbol he recognized oh so vividly. 

Why was that symbol being used for this act? Father had told him it meant peace. Ment he was destined for greatness. But this…this wasn't greatness. 

"Oh God-" Travis covered his mouth in horror, dropping Sal's prosthetic, and stepped backward. He felt sick. They were all dead. They were all *dead*. 

He tripped over his feet, falling backward. However, he didn't hit the ground. Instead, he continued to fall through pitch black.

He landed on the ground, after what seemed to be a long fall, it only felt like he fell backward. Travis groaned, lifting himself with his hands, and looked around. 

Instead of blackness, he was in a temple that seemed oddly familiar. Like a sense of deja vu. But he's never been here. Right? 

Travis slowly pushed himself fully to stand up, looking around the temple. He couldn't shake the image out he just saw the bodies. This had to be some sick dream. None of it could be true. Travis covered his mouth, leaning on the wall as he breathed heavily. "What the fuck is going on." He grumbled. 

"Travis." A voice echoed around him, he swirled around wildly before his eyes widened. 

"Mom..?" Travis swallowed, seeing her standing. She had long brown hair and a darker skin tone than Travis. She was a bit shorter as well, only reaching Travis's chin. But she was there. In all her glory. 

"Mom!" Travis practically lept to her, hugging her tightly. "Where- where have you been!?"

She hugged him back tightly, a soft smile on her face. "I'm sorry I left."

"Why- why did you leave? You left me with him." Travis shuddered. "It's been getting worse. I keep telling myself I deserve it but-"

"You didn't deserve it at all." She said, kissing the top of his head. "My sweet baby. You didn't deserve anything. I'm here now. You can stay here."

But he did. He deserved all of it. It was his fault as well.  "I missed you so much!" Travis could only cry as his mom hugged him a bit tighter. 

"That's a bit tight-" Travis laughed, moving to pull away but realized she wasn't letting go. Only hugging him tighter. "Mom- that's too tight." He said again. She still didn't listen.

"You can stay with me, Travis. We can be a family again!" She said, however, her voice wasn't hers. It was a deeper, eviler voice. Travis gasped as she finally let him go. He stumbled back at that, watching in horror as her limbs began to twitch. She grinned wickedly as her mouth began to open. Two claws out of it, pushing out of her mouth and ripping the body in half. A demon stood once where his mother stood. 

The same demon Travis saw before. Its red eyes bore into Travis's soul. The demon glared at Travis before jumping at him.

Travis gasped, dodging the attack before scrambling up again. The demon glared at him before charging again. Travis jumped out of the way, taking off into a sprint.

Screams echoed behind him as he kept on running, soon a door coming into few. Without a second thought he flung it open, a forest was on the other side. Travis turned around, seeing the demon still after him, and ran through the door. Slamming it shut behind him.

Travis breathed heavily, gripping his chest. "Shit shit shit shit-" This had to be a dream. Nothing made sense here. But if it was a dream...how could we wake up? 

Travis looked around the forest he was in. Squinting in the distance as something moved. Against better judgment, Travis walked forwards.

The figure in question grew closer and closer until its blue hair was visible. 

Blue hair. 

Sal. 

"Sal!" Travis yelled out. Sal was here! But...he was dead? No. This Sal was alive! He was alive! "Sal!" Travis yelled out again. 

Sal turned around at that, his prosthetic still off. His face looked the same as Travis remembered it. He was just as beautiful as Travis remembered. 

"Travis?" Sal frowned, seeing the teen walking closer to him. "Why..are you here?" Sal asked, walking closer as well.

"I don't- know-" Travis swallowed. "What's going on Where even is here? I woke up in darkness. And then a temple! And now here-" 

"Why are you in my vision?" Sal asked.

Travis froze. What? "Vision? What the hell are you talking about? I thought this was a dream my dream-" 

Pain suddenly filled Travis and he gasped, looking down in horror as a shadowy hand pieced through him before disappearing. Horrified he held his stomach, looking at the blood...It was black. Like tar. looking up at Sal with wide eyes. "Sal..?" He whispered. The pain felt real. It felt so real. 

"Oh my God. Travis-!" Sal gasped in horror as he saw Travis's legs begin to wobble. He quickly stepped closer to the boy as he fell. But instead of falling in his hands, Travis turned to black smoke. Sal's eyes widened in horror. As the smoke touched his skin, his skin melted to the bone.

A white light suddenly blinded Sal, and when his eye was able to adjust the same head he's seen for years appeared in his view. Sal stood up. Glaring angrily. 

"What do you want from me!?" He yelled, "What happened to Travis!"

"Y-b eh--v--s" It spoke

"What?"

"le--e-  tx-n e-t eb l--w He"

"I don't understand!" 

"sp-e-P si-a-T."

Travis.

"Travis? What does he have to do with any of this? Why was he in my dream? I want answers!"

"--- ey-- i- wa-chi--- hi-. tso- wen - sde-n -h dnA. snen-ep--h ti --of-b --h p-t- ot de-n -oY."

"--- –"

"W--k- –" 

"Wak- u-!" 

"Wake up!" A voice yelled out to him. 

Sal's eyes shot open, gasping. He was in his room, on the ground, his dad right beside him.

"Shit shit Sal. You alright?" Henry asked, helping him sit up. "You just- passed out. God-Are you okay?" 

 "Yeah- Yeah I'm fine-" He swallowed, rubbing his head. "I don't know what happened...?" Everything felt blurry. Best way to describe it. It was all blurry still. That head was back again...which was not a good sign.

"What do you remember?" Henry asked, rubbing his son's back comfortably.

"I...Travis was in my vision? I..Saw everyone dead as well. Bleeding from their necks like some cult sacrifice." He shuddered. "Then I saw a door, leading into a forest. Then I saw Travis. He was talking to me confusingly before some shadowy figure impaled him-" 

"Shit." Henry frowned. "I'm gonna get you some water, you rest on your bed. Are you dizzy?" Henry asked, grabbing Sal's arms and helped him stand up.

Sal shook his head. "I'm fine." He forced a smile out. "Really dad. I'm fine. I'm probably just tired." 

"You never passed out before. Have you been taking your meds?"

Sal nodded, moving to the bed to sit down, Gizmo already crawling onto his lap. "Yes. I have."

"Okay." Henry ran a hand through his beard. "Just rest up. I'll get some water." He said before leaving the room.

Sal watched him leave before frowning. What did happen in his dream? Was that even a dream? That head was talking to him again. Especially about Travis. He barely understood what it was talking about.  All he could make out was Travis and, he will be the next. Whatever that meant. Sal frowned thinking. Someone deeper at play was going on. As much as Sal hoped it wasn't true, more things were coming out that Travis had something to do with the cult. The cult had plans with him. And that terrified Sal.

Chapter Text

Travis's eyes shot open breathing heavily. Immediately his first thought was to place a hand on his stomach, eyes wide. No blood. No hole. Travis swallowed heavily, looking around his room.

His room.

He was home.

There was a hand placed on his shoulder and he nearly jumped out of his skin. Instead, he flinched in horror, looking to his side.

Kenneth was sitting on a chair, looking up at him. "Ah. Finally awake." He hummed, pulling his hand back.

"What?" Travis frowned thinking for a moment. Processing everything that happened. He remembered it clearly. Even after waking up.

The dead bodies.

His mom.

That demon. 

Travis felt his stomach churn and he covered his mouth. 

"Don't fucking throw up on your bed." Kenneth snapped, "Have the decency to use this." He mumbled, moving to set a bowl in front of him. 

Travis lurched forwards into the bowl, throwing up mainly stomach acid, and coughed. "What happened?" He asked, wiping his mouth and swallowed.

"You passed out," Kenneth grumbled, setting the bowl on the ground. "Made a mess as well. Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" He huffed, reaching for Travis's nightstand, and handed him a glass of water. 

Travis took the water, sipping it. "I thought It was just nerves." Travis lied. He did tell him he felt sick. He's been feeling sick ever since Thursday! Maybe he caught something? He did hang with Sal that night...

"Well because of you. I had to miss an important Church meeting." Kenneth snapped, moving to stand up and take the bowl. "It's 6:03 pm now. Once you're feeling better come down and eat. There are some leftovers for you in the fridge." He huffed. "Maybe if you didn't stray off the path, Travis. You'd feel better. Or not even feel sick at all. God is punishing you." Kenneth grumbled, moving to leave the room. 

6:03 pm? He was out for over five hours...Travis watched him leave before running a hand through his hair. Was he going crazy? He kept seeing things...having weird dreams. Feeling sick. "Shit." He cursed, setting his glass down again, and laid his head in his hands. Even as a dream. Some twisted nightmare. He saw his mother again. She was really there! Just as he remembered. 

Travis moved to clasp his hands together, shutting his eyes. "Dear God. Please rid me of these nightmares. Show me a sign as to why I'm being plagued by them...Even though I may have an idea. I'm sorry for not being strong enough. I'll try harder. I'll read the bible more. Amen." He opened his eyes for a moment before closing them again. "Sorry. One more thing. Please wish Sal Fisher well. He means well. Please don't punish him because of my thoughts. I take full responsibility. If these nightmares and sickness are because of my sinful actions, then so be it...Just...please send greatness his way. Amen." Travis mumbled, opening his eyes again, and sighed. 

He probably should go eat. He hardly ate anything today, and with him just throwing up his body begged for food. With a slow swing of the legs, Travis stood up and walked out of his room.

Soon 7:00 pm rolled around the next day. It seemed like a blur to Travis. One minute he was going to sleep, and the next it was dark. He barely talked to Sal today at school. Sal had talked to Travis a bit as well. Discussing an English test he was worried about, how Travis was doing in math...Travis didn't remember answering anything. He didn't think it was zoning out. It felt more like he was watching a movie of himself, but the audio was muffled, as well as the video was glitching. Even after school as well, it didn't get better. 

Travis grabbed a black jacket and moved to his window. He had made sure to check everything twice before he opened his window Kenneth wouldn't check on Travis. He knew this. 

He slowly moved out of his room, jumping down on the roof of Kenneth's office and shutting his bedroom door before jumping off the rest of the way. Thankfully Kenneth was in the living room, not seeing or hearing a thing.

Soon he neared Lake Wendigo. The lake was just as beautiful as he remembered. The moonlight glistened on the water, seeing a familiar figure on the ground. His hair was in pigtails, he wore his black sweater as well as red torn pants. 

All Travis was wearing was a long sleeve purple shirt, jeans, and a black jacket.

"Trav hey!" Sal jumped up smiling as Travis walked closer. "You made it!"

Trav . 

That name took him by shock. "Trav?" He laughed weakly, a blush creeping up on his face. "What's- what's that about ?" He asked scratching the back of his head. Sal called him Trav. A nickname. He had a nickname. And he liked it. Trav.

"Yeah! Hope that's okay? I thought of it for you. If you don't like it it's okay-"

"No- no I like it!" Travis blushed even darker, looking behind Sal, seeing a blanket on the ground, a radio, as well as a basket. "What's this?" 

"A small picnic! I uh...hope that's okay? Todd offered the idea after I said we were going to Lake Wendigo. I even have a bologna sandwich in there for you." Sal chuckled, pointing to the basket. "Or more like stargazing. There's hardly a picnic involved here." Sal laughed. "I brought that, some fruit and some water."

"Bologna?" He raised his eyebrow "At like... 7 pm?"

"I know..how much you like them. The school's one." Sal spoke softly. "I don't think I could ever eat one again though." Sal chuckled. "Come! Sit!" Sal smiled as Travis moved to sit down. Sal quickly grabbed the sandwich from the basket and handed it to Travis, who took it slowly. 

This was nice. It was peaceful. One more moment in his life he could savor. It was beautiful. The lake, and Sal. 

Sal was beautiful. 

"Sorry about today," Travis mumbled, taking a bite of the sandwich as he looked at the lake. How the moonlight danced on the surface. 

"What for?" Sal asked confusingly as he unclasped his lower clip, lifting his prosthetic up enough to eat some fruit. 

"I was just...out of it I think. I don't even remember anything." Travis scoffed. "It's all a blur." 

"That's nothing to be sorry for. Happens to me some days as well. If you want me to tell you what happened let me know. May bore you though." He laughed. "No cliche high school drama for today sadly."

Travis chuckled at that as well, taking another bite. "I uh...Yesterday I passed out." Travis said quietly. "I think that's why I was all out of it today."

Sal froze, frowning, and looked over to Travis worriedly. That did not sound good at all. "Shit. Are you okay now? Do you know why that happened?" He asked. 

Travis shook his head. "No clue. But I was out for a good few hours."

"Did you go to the hospital?" 

Travis shook his head. "Hospitals are sinful." He spoke, looking over to Sal, seeing his wide eye under his prosthetic. "That's...what my father says at least. They interrupt the flow of the Lord. Put chemicals in people...just..sinful things." He mumbled, feeling embarrassment rise to his face. Sal was confused at that. Probably thought it was weird. Of course, it was. It was stupid. Why did he even tell him?"

"Well...I hope you feel better." Sal frowned, looking into the picnic basket. "That reminds me though..." Sal spoke, Travis, raising a brow.

"I uh...also got you something as well" He smiled, reaching into the basket again and pulled out a black device with headphones attached to it. "A Walkman. To listen to music. I know uh...those new CD players are stupidly expensive  And I didn't know if you had your own...But I remember you saying that you liked music. Its a few years old, but it still works perfectly." Sal smiled. 

Travis looked at the gift with wide eyes, setting the sandwich down. "Are you serious?" He asked as Sal held it out for Travis to take.

"Yeah! I didn't know what songs you wanted on there, so it's just a tape with 80s greatest hits." Sal smiled "Larry got this CD player for his birthday and he loves that shit" Sal laughed. "I just thought this could be good for you...Rob, another neighbors in the apartment's has a shit ton of tapes, so if you ever want more than this one let me know" He smiled.

Travis looked down at the Walkman with wide eyes, tears threatening to spill. "I still don't understand why you're so nice to me." Travis wiped his eyes quickly, setting them down. "You didn't have to get me this..do all of this for me." He mumbled. 

"Well, why wouldn't I be? I offered to be friends and you took that chance. You've been an amazing person. So why would I be a dick back?"

"But- why? Your face even." Travis turned to look at Sal. "You said it's fine. But why did you take your prosthetic off Thursday night? Hardly any of your friends see it. So why me?" 

Sal was quiet for a moment before sighing. "When I'm around you I do stupid things." Sal laughed weakly. "I'm serious. Being around you makes me do things I would never think of doing before." He smiled softly. "I just feel comfortable around you." Sal smiled softly. 

"Oh." Travis's eyes widened, and a dark blush crept on his face. "I uh- I like...spending time with you." Travis chuckled, trying his hardest to ignore how his stomach churned. Maybe if he ate more it would stop. Travis grabbed the sandwich and finished eating it.

Sal smiled at that before a breeze of wind hit them and he shivered. 

"Are you cold?" Travis asked, looking over to Sal who was shaking softly. 

Sal scoffed. "A little. Cold tends to affect me more." He shrugged. "It always has. But it's fine" Sal shrugged. 

Travis instantly pulled his jacket off, handing it to Sal. "It may not be much, but take it." He offered, having no doubts in his mind about the action.

Sal froze at that looking. "Won't you be cold?

Traviss shook his head "I have long sleeves. I'll be fine" Travis smiled.

"I can't-"

"You got me a gift and food. I want you to be okay." He hummed before his eyes went wide. "Warm. I mean. I want you to be warm. I'm serious. Take it. You can give it back to me before we leave" 

Sal slowly took the jacket, pulling it on. "Thanks." He smiled, looking down at the jacket. "Y'know...why don't we listen to music huh?" Sal hummed, moving to pull the radio closer.

"What do you have in mind?" Travis raised his eyebrow.

Sal only laughed. "Guess." He said as he pressed play on the radio. Immediately blaring music started to play. Sanity Falls. Of course!

Sal quickly clipped his prosthetic back on and started to get into the rhythm of it as well, bobbing his head side to side.

"Why do you listen to this anyways? With all the screaming. It sounds satanic." Travis grumbled.

"It's not satanic!" Sal laughed. "It's music!" He moved his fingers to the rock sign, Travis scoffing in disgust.

"You're literally showing the devil on your hands." He frowned, guesting to Sal's fingers. 

"That's not the devil's symbol. It's just a rock symbol. Here look-" Sal gently took Travis's hands, the teen not pulling back. He carefully closed the fingers until all that was up was his pointer, thumb, and pinky. 

"What are you-" Travis frowned, but a part of him was screaming on the inside. He felt like his whole face turned red.

"Headbanging!" Sal grinning. "Like this-" 

He began to move Travis's hand up and down, "Move your head."

Sal began to move his up and down and Travis soon followed. "I don't get why this is-" 

"Just dance with the music!" 

Sal let go of Travis's hand, standing up as he began to dance. Horribly. But something about it kept Travis looking in awe. 

Travis laughed at that as Sal's pigtails swung back and forth as he jumped around, pretending to play an air guitar. 

"Come on!" Sal laughed, reaching out a hand for Travis, who slowly took it. "Dance dude!" Sal grinned, pulling Travis's arms.

Travis laughed at that and soon began to dance on his own. He jumped, moving his hands and head up and down as the music blasted. The two went on like that for what seemed like hours, jumping and swinging their arms around. It was a blast!

Soon the two stopped dancing, out of exhaustion despite not wanting to stop.

Travis laughed, leaning back on the grass as he looked up at the night sky as he breathed heavily. "That was...so fun." He chuckled. "I didn't think it would be fun."

"Told you." Sal hummed proudly.

Travis smiled moving to look up at the night sky. "I used to wish to be an astronaut as a kid y'know." He hummed.

"You did?" Sal laughed. "No shot. I wanted to space ranger" He snorted, which got a laugh out of Travis as well. 

"I wanted to see the stars and all. Explore new planets. It was just so beautiful." Travis sighed. "My mother read me books about space." Travis laughed, but it soon faded. "I miss her a lot."

Sal was quiet for a moment. "...What happened to her?" He asked.

"She left when I was like 11." Travis sighed. "I remember the night clearly. My mom and father were screaming at each other. I was in my room the whole time, but then my mom came in, and she was crying." Travis moved to hold his cross necklace. "She gave me her necklace and apologized. Saying she was sorry and she would come back for me in a few days...but she never did." Travis wiped tears from his eyes blinking. "Sorry. That was fucking depressing." He laughed. 

"No. No not at all it's fine." Sal hummed sadly, looking back to the sky. "My mom uh...she protected me. If it wasn't for her I would have died. Instead, she died." 

"Shit." Travis cursed. "A part of me worries she's dead. But it's like- I want that?" He ran a hand through his hair. "That sounds horrible but...If she was dead it would be a reason why she left." He took a shaky breath "It's stupid. But I had a dream yesterday. Where I uh saw her. But it wasn't her. It was more like a nightmare."

Sal nodded. "I had a weird dream as well." He chuckled. That was worrying. And weird. They both had that same dream, didn't they? 

Travis was about to say something else before a raindrop hit him. "What the?" He frowned moving to sit up. "You felt that?" 

"Felt what?" Sal asked sitting up, a raindrop hit his head. "Oh shit. Is it gonna rain?"

"We should get going before it gets worse" Travis laughed standing up.

"Oh yeah for sure. I do not want to be soaked" He laughed, moving to pull the jacket Travis offered, handing it back. "Here, just in case it rains before you're home." 

Travis smiled, taking it back and putting it back on. "Thanks." 

Travis smiled tonight. A lot. He smiled, laughed, and dance. He was like a new person. Sal wanted to see him more like that. The way he talked about his mom as well. That was it then. Sal decided. He would find his mom for him. Even if she was dead. He would find her for Travis. It's what he deserved.

Travis looked at the lake and then back to Sal, opening his mouth to speak as another raindrop fell. "Could I stay over tomorrow after school?" Travis was still technically grounded. But his father didn't need to know. He didn't know about most things Travis did. "I just..." Travis frowned looking away. He didn't wanna go home. 

"Of course man." Sal smiled sadly. Travis didn't need to answer for him to know why he didn't want to go home. "My dad is going on a date with Larry's mom, so he may be around. Larry. Promise you two won't kill each other?"

Travis rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah I promise." He chuckled

"Are you wanting to stay the right?" Sal asked curiously. 

Travis shook his head. "Just a few hours. I can leave before dinner, but I can't stay the night." 

"No worries!" Sal smiled as another raindrop hit them. "Shit!" He laughed. "We really should go."

"Yeah" Travis laughed. "Bye Sal!" He smiled as the rain started to pick up.

"Shit! Bye Trav! See you tomorrow!" 

Chapter Text

The walk back home from school was quiet. Larry was still giving Travis a death stare as they walked. Why did Sal even invite him over? Travis was still an asshole. One wrong move from him this afternoon and it would be over. Soon the three made it to the apartments around 3:20, and a mailslot in a door opened up, eyes peering through. 

"Sal! Larry! Good to see you! Apologies for my absence the past few days. I came down with a cold." A voice called out.

Sal paused and turned around. "Afternoon Mr. Addison! I'm glad your feeling better!"

There was a chuckle. "I see there's a new friend you brought. What's your name son?" The man asked Travis. 

"Oh. Uh...Travis Phelps." Travis replied, a bit confused as to why this Addison didn't just open the door. Wait...Addison Apartments...Was he the owner?

There was a pause. "I'm sorry. Did you say, Phelps?" He asked.

"Yes sir." 

"Huh." Terrence chuckled. "I knew your father." He said only this time he had a darker tone. "Tell him I wish him well." The man grumbled before shutting the slot.

"Well, that was weird." Larry laughed. "Looks like he has something out for you."

Travis scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Hah hah." He grumbled. But it did make him think. How did he know his father? Were they friends in the past? He never mentioned him at all.  

"This is fucking stupid!" Travis huffed. "It doesn't make any sense how the fuck do you understand this?" Travis snapped. 

Sal and Travis were sitting at the table, math pages spread out all over. Larry was in Sal's room to give the two privacy and got a little bored after 30 minutes. 

So here the two were. Solving math problems that for some reason Travis hated. He always hated math. But getting more and more answers wrong just irritated him. 

"Hey, it's okay man." Sal frowned. "Just take a deep breath. You got this." 

"But it's stupid!" He snapped, throwing his hands in the air.

"Travis. Deep breaths."

Travis rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and took a deep breath. "Fine. Okay. Okay." He huffed. 

"Take it slowly, and look carefully."

"That's the thing I don't fucking know what to do next just-its so confusing!" 

"How so?" Sal asked curiously. Could Travis have some type of learning disability? The thought passed through his mind a few times but didn't want to think anything of it in case of sounding rude. 

"Just everything! All the numbers hurt my eyes and I can't remember the next step at all. It doesn't make any sense!" He groaned, laying his head in his hands. "It's like. I know what the numbers are. But I don't understand it."

That was interesting. Could it be dyslexia? But for math? "That's fine. Do you want me to tell you the next step?" Sal asked calmly. 

"Please." The teen begged. He felt stupid. He should know this. He couldn't rely on Sal always. 

"Just solve for the square root of the answer you have there." He pointed to the paper.

Travis slowly lifted his head up, glancing at Sal. "That's it?" 

"The next step." Sal chuckled. "If you need any help let me know."

Travis nodded slowly, grabbing the pencil again as he started to write, taking a few minutes to solve but soon he got an answer.

"What's the square root?" Sal asked looking over at the paper.

"..25..?"

"That's correct!" Sal smiled. "You got it!"

"I did?" Travis's eyes widened.

"Yeah! And now you just subtract that from your original answer. What do you get?"

Travis quickly wrote it down."X...is 47?" 

"You got it, man!" 

Travis's face started to beam and a huge smile spread on his face. He got it. He actually got it! His smile faded however as thoughts clouded his mind. It wasn't going to last. It was just one right answer. 

"Hey, what's with the frown? You got the answer right!" Sal chuckled. 

Travis shook his head. "It doesn't matter." He grumbled. "I'm just gonna get future questions wrong."

"Dude. C'mon, man." 

"Just forget it. Can we take a break?" Travis mumbled, setting the pencil down. "We've already been at this for over an hour. I've hardly got any questions correct. Let's just leave it."

Sal sighed, nodding. "Yeah. Sure." He mumbled, standing up. "Wanna watch some TV?" Sal asked.

"I'm down for that!" Larry called out from the bedroom, quickly opening the door.

"How did you hear... never mind." he shook his head. What's your favorite show Trav?" Sal asked.

Travis paused. He didn't really have a favorite show...or movie. "Oh. I don't know. We don't really watch TV." He shrugged. "We only have the news channel." 

"Well, that's depressing. We gotta get you to watch some good shows. What's on right now Sal?" Larry asked. 

Sal rolled his eyes, walked over to the TV, and turned it on, the first thing that popped up was thankfully a show he enjoyed.

"Star Trek." Sal laughed.

"Good enough for me!" Larry smiled, swinging his legs over the couch and plopping down on it. 

Travis followed, sitting down on the side as Sal sat in the middle, he glanced over at Sal before turning back to the TV. "So they're in space? He asked seeing the spaceship.

"Yeah! It's a great show." Sal hummed.

As time went on, Travis kept glancing down at Sal's hand as his heart rushed. It would be so...easy to just hold it- no. No. Absolutely not. He couldn't. Yesterday was already too much, with the picnic, the gifts, them dancing...

His stomach churned again.

"You getting hungry?" A voice broke through. 

"Huh?" Travis snapped his eyes up, seeing Sal looking at him.

"Hungry. Lisa, Larry's mom brought some Lasagna before she left. It's still in the fridge. I just gotta heat it up."

"Oh." He paused. He wasn't that hungry at all. "Yeah sure. What time..is it?" Travis asked worriedly. 

"Like 5:10. But it may take a bit to heat up." Sal hummed moving to stand up. "We're probably gonna eat at six. If you wanted to stay?" Sal asked.

Travis thought for a moment. He needed to get home. His father would definitely kill him now for not making dinner. But fuck it. He enjoyed being here. In some weird twisted way, Travis liked spending time at the Fisher's house more than his own.

"I can stay. But I'll have to leave after." Travis replied. 

"Hell yeah." Sal smiled. "I'll get that lasagna cooking now?"

"Yeah..sure." Travis nodded, watching as Sal stood up and left. 

"You like him don't you?" Larry whispered to Travis the moment Sal was out of earshot.

The teen shot his head to Larry at that wide-eyed. "What?" Shit. Did he know? How did Larry know? Was it obvious? 

Larry shrugged. "You want to be his friend don't you?" He asked.

Travis let a breath of relief out. Thank God. He didn't know about the thoughts. "Yeah. I guess?" He shrugged, glancing over to Sal pulling the lasagna in the stove. 

"One wrong move from you. One thing Sal tells me about you and I will kill you." Larry whispered. "He wants to be your friend as well. So don't ruin it, Phelps." Larry hissed.

Travis slowly nodded nervously at that. "Yeah. Okay." He swallowed as Sal came over to the couch, Larry was back in his spot, and Sal seemingly didn't hear anything. 

"I set it to 52 minutes. How does that sound?" 

"Perfect" Larry hummed. "Think mom and Henry will be back before then?"

"Nah. You know how their dates are." Sal snorted. "They're both early sleepers so they have to go throughout the day"

Larry laughed back. "That is true." 

The three watched more star trek for the next hour. However, Travis was focused on someone else rather than the show. Even with the prosthetic, he could see Sal's eyes squint with laughter. He smiled softly at that before turning back to the TV.

Soon the timer rang, and Sal moved to stand up. "Dinner time boys!" He said in a sing sound voice, grabbing oven mittens to open the stove. Immediately at the sound of that a familiar meow came barreling through. 

"Oh, great are you my mom now as well?" Larry snorted and stood up.

"If I was your mom you would  love  me." Sal teased, setting the lasagna on the counter. "Really Gizmo?" He laughed as the cat pawed at Sal's leg, begging for food. 

Larry laughed rolling his eyes. "Only cause you don't mind me smoking." 

"Hah!" Sal laughed, looking back down at Gizmo. "Fine. One piece for you. But when it cools off. Okay?" 

The cat only meowed back. 

Travis stared at the two in awe. They were talking about drugs. Out in the open. It felt wrong to even think about it. 

"Trav! You coming?" Sal asked.

Travis snapped back into reality, seeing the lasagna already placed on the table into plates. He frowned. How did that happen? He could have swore the lasagna was just out of the oven...

"You good man?" Larry asked, staring at Travis. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." He said coughing before moving to sit down. He watched as Sal unclasped his mask as the two teens start to immediately eat. And something twisted in him. "Can we pray?" Travis asked after a moment. 

"Pray?" Larry raised his eyebrow. 

"We can pray." Sal glared over at Larry before looking at Travis. "We can pray. Want us to close our eyes?" He asked calmly. 

Travis nodded. "That would be nice."

"Can you pray quietly?" Larry glared over at Travis. 

Travis glared back at Larry angrily. "Fine." He grumbled out. Travis closed his eyes. And prayed.

Dear lord. We thank you for this meal you grant us. We thank you for the time you gave to us. Please wish Larry well. Despite him being...Larry. Wish him well. He still deserves love. And Sal...Please. wish Sal well too. Give him my joy if needed. If that cant work, then I will take any pain he has. I can handle it. He need not to suffer. He's strayed off the path far too many times. But he deserves love. Please make sure he's loved Lord. Amen. 

Travis opened his eyes again, seeing Larry and Sal surprisingly have their eyes closed. "You can open your eyes now," Travis replied. 

Sal and Larry opened their eyes, and shockingly Larry smiled softly. "Now can we finally eat?" He asked.

"Sure." Travis shrugged looking back down at the full plate of lasagna. He poked it with the fork and frowned, slowly taking a few bites of it. It wasn't like he hated food. The lasagna was pretty good! It was really good for a fact. But he just had a weird relationship with it. He had to look presentable. For his father and the church. Kenneth made sure to remind him that almost daily. He knew what  'eating disorders'  were. And he didn't have one. Travis still ate. He wasn't starving himself. So he didn't have an eating disorder. Besides. He was a boy. Boys don't get eating disorders. 

"You want a second helping?" Sal asked after a moment. 

"What?" Travis snapped out of thought, looking up to Sal and then back down to his plate. He had finished over half the plate, but there was still a lot left. "Oh. Uh..." He paused. "I still haven't finished this one." He frowned, looking over to Larry's and Sal's plates. They were already on their second serving. "I'm not that hungry." Travis forced a smile out and shook his head. "I don't want a second." 

"My mom made this. Don't be fucking rude." Larry snapped angrily to Travis. "Why can't you finish it?" 

Sal kicked Larry's leg from under the table. "Ow!" Larry gasped. 

"You sure?" Sal asked frowning, ignoring Larry. "I can make something if you don't like lasagna. We have some leftover pizza I can heat up?"

Sal wasn't dumb. He wasn't a normal teenager either. He could tell that Travis wasn't eating. He noticed it whenever they stopped serving The bologna sandwich at school. And then when he refused food at first. That's why he always tried to bring snakes to the teen causally. An orange in his pocket, the whole picnic. (To be fair. That was still Todd's idea) offering pizza, just anything to help out. He cared for Travis. And knew him well. The teen would never outwardly ask for help. Let alone confess to Sal...However, a part of him worries still. 

He wants to make sure Travis is okay. Who knew if he was skipping food days at a time? Travis hardly asked for help. That's what Sal noticed. 

"I'm sure Sal." Travis smiled. But it wasn't a real one

"Okay, just finish that plate then? I just don't wanna throw it away with food still on it." Sal smiled supportively. 

Little things.

"Oh. Yeah sure. Of course." Travis nodded, looking down at the food, and slowly started to finish it. He didn't like it. A part of him felt sick...But he was fine with finishing it. 

"That was good." Travis smiled moving to stand up. "I wouldn't mind doing this again."

"Yeah! For sure!" Sal smiled, clipping his mask up. "I got the plates. Don't worry." Sal offered as he saw Travis reach his.

"Oh. You sure?" 

"Yeah! You and larry are my guests" Sal smiled as he moved to wash them in the sink. 

Travis stood awkwardly at the table, looking at a clock, and frowned. shit. 6:45.  

"I should go. Thank you, Sally." Travis said quietly.

"Oh shit already?" He frowned turning around from the sink.

"Yeah...I gotta go."

"Oh. Well, this was fun. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Travis smiled, moving to grab his backpack and the math work. "Bye Sal. Bye, Larry."

"Bye Phelps," Larry grumbled out, not looking at him as the teen left.

The moment Travis shut the door, he let a gasp out, covering his mouth. "Fuck-" He cursed. His stomach churned again. "Fuck." He felt sick. Not from the lasagna. Well maybe from the lasagna. But because of Sal.

Stupid 

Fucking

Sal. 

He had to get out of here. Process his thoughts and compose himself. He pushed himself off the door, quickly making his way to the elevator, and pressed the button.

He hated this! He hated feeling this way! It was too much. 

Travis quickly entered the elevator as it opened, his leg shaking. He felt like puking. Ridding himself of thoughts of wanting to hold his hand. To hug him. To kiss him.

The elevator door dinged. 

Travis looked up and frowned. It was only on the second floor. 

The doors opened revealing a redhead with glasses. "Travis?" Todd spoke frowning. "What are you doing here?"

Travis's eyes went wide. "I-"

Oh, fuck fuck fuck. Todd was here. He saw him. He knew. He definitely knew.

"Travis is everything okay? You don't look good at all."

Travis swallowed terrified. Something deep down in him, that he tried his whole life to shove down came bursting out of him like a waterfall.

"I think I need help." 

Chapter Text

Travis couldn't breathe. 

That's the first thing he realized as he was sitting on the couch of Todd Morrison's apartment. Technically his parent's apartment. Who were out shopping. Weird to be shopping at almost 7. He didn't even remember getting here. It was like his body was moving on its own. It felt like he was in a game and playing a character.

He couldn't breathe. It felt like there was no air left in his body at all. Like some demon sucked it all up, leaving the teen there to die of suffocation. Normally when he was feeling this stressed only one thing could relive him, replacing his stress with new found peace. Travis scratched his arm absentmindedly, the texture of the bandages under his sleeve the one thing that kept him from fully detaching from his body and mind.

The place smelled of weed as well. A shit ton of weed. This felt like a mistake. Coming here. Asking Todd for help. The way his eyes widened when Travis said that made him feel sick. He felt pity for Travis. And he hated that.

Travis let a wheeze out, pulling at his shirt as he tried to take a deep breath in He tried so hard to get a breath in but he couldn't.

And to make matters worse! Neil. Todd's boyfriend was here as well! He saw Travis's stupid freak out before leaving to Todd's room to give them space. Even he felt pity. It was stupid.

Travis wheezed out, getting the attention of Todd who was previously in the kitchen. 

"Travis. Woah. Hey. Deep breaths." A voice echoed in the distance. "You're having a panic attack," Todd said, gently placing a hand on Travis's back to get his attention, making the teen violently flinch upwards, looking at Todd with scared wide eyes.

Travis looked scared. He gripped his chest with wide eyes as he gasped for air.

Todd pulled his back immediately. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have touched you. I know you don't like touch, I forgot. I'm sorry, But you need to control your breathing Travis. Please"

Travis gasped out, looking at Todd's, and swallowed, remembering the trick Sal showed him. One...two...three...four... Travis took a breath in. One...two...three...four...Travis took a breath out. Trying to control his breath. It took him a while, but soon his breathing slowed down, as he took deep breaths, letting the air fill his lungs. 

"Have you been getting those a lot?" Todd asked, reaching for the glass of water he set on the table, and giving it to Travis.

Travis took the water, drinking it slowly as he still breathed in the air. "Panic attacks?" He asked curiously, setting the water down again. 

Todd only nodded.

Travis shrugged. "I mean I guess?" He chuckled nervously before sighing. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting them a lot. Almost every day." 

He hated getting those. It was horrible. Especially the aftermath where he just felt so exhausted. He wanted to sleep always after, but he knew it would be a waste of time. So he just pushed through. Maybe that's why everyone said he looked tired.

Todd frowned at that, looking away from Travis. "When I saw you in the elevator. You...." How could he say this...? "You looked terrible Travis. And then you asked for help...What's going on?" Todd frowned. "Is something going on at home?"

"No!" Travis yelled out. "I mean no." He said quietly, looking away. "Nothing is going on." Nothing he didn't deserve. 

Todd raised his eyebrow as Travis's leg bounced l frantically. That seemed like a lie. But he didn't want to push it.

"That wasn't the reason. I need to tell you something." Travis spoke. "That's why I asked for help. Because I thought you would understand."

"Of course. What is it?" Todd asked gently. 

Travis looked at him with wide eyes before looking away. "You're gay. Right?"

Todd snorted. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm gay. Very gay." He smiled, having a feeling of what Travis was going to say next.

"How did you...figure that out?" He asked. 

Todd frowned, thinking for a moment. "I guess I always knew?" He smiled softly. "In elementary, I asked my parents if I could marry a boy. They asked why and I told them I loved him and they're married so, why not us?" Todd chuckled. "They told me that was fine however I should wait until I'm 18 or older to ask my hand in marriage." He snorted. 

Travis swallowed taking a breath. That still didn't make him feel better. "And with...Neil?"

"I fell in love immediately" Todd snorted. "He bumped into me and broke my glasses." Todd laughed. "Poor dude was apologizing so much. But I apparently loved that." He smiled. 

"Huh," Travis mumbled, taking a breath. Say it. Say it say it say it. It's so easy. Just say it.

 "I-" He swallowed, running a hand on his legs as it bounced. "I'm having sinful thoughts about- liking a boy. It's affecting me too much. I can't go through my day anymore. I feel sick every day now because of it." Travis breathed out as he gripped the fabric of his pants. God, he felt like throwing up after he said that. "And I need help." His stomach twisted and screamed at him, and he was sure Todd could see the sweat dripping off of him. "Since you're gay. I thought you would understand." 

"Oh" Todd was silent at that as the words proceeded. Travis came out to him. He was probably the first person Travis even told. Travis liked a boy. He has a feeling Travis would anyways, but it still shocked him. "That's totally okay Travis. Thank you so much for telling me. You know I don't see anything wrong at all."

"But it's a guy" Travis hissed out. "It's wrong- I-" he buried his head in his hands. "My father is going to kill me if he finds out."

"You...really mean that. Don't you?" Todd asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Travis said quietly. "Yeah. He would kill me. He threatened to kill me once already." He mumbled, gripping his hair.

Todd thought for a moment, thinking of what to say. "You believe in staying on a path right?"

Travis stopped and looked at Todd confusedly. "What?"

"'Don't stray from the path' that's a saying you say right?" 

Travis laughed weakly nodding. "Yeah. And I have strayed. I've strayed...So much." He mumbled. Struggle will come their way. Any day now. Could a fire break out? A flood? It was said to rain this week...what if something happened?

 "Travis...If God has a path for you, that you can't stray from...then shouldn't this be on it?"

"What?" He asked confused "What the fuck does that mean?" 

"If God has a planned path you can't stray from, What makes you being gay, Having 'sinful' thoughts straying from it?" 

He was silent at that. Todd had a point. He can never stray from the path, so if God had a planned path for him. This would be on it. Right? It didn't make sense. But it did at the same time. It was confusing. Travis was going to hell. That wasn't going to change. God hated him. He was told being gay is off the path! He deserved to burn. He deserved to die for having these thoughts. But what Todd said, makes sense as well! Don't stray from the path he created. What if it meant you couldn't stray no matter what you do? These thoughts could be on it. Travis blinked back a few tears. He was so confused. Why was this so confusing?

"Fucking- fuck you, Todd." Travis snapped as tears started to fall down in cheeks. But he made no effort in leaving. Travis stayed on the couch, covering his mouth with his hand as his tears soon turned to loud ugly sobs. 

Todd watched on letting Travis cry. He wasn't sure if he wanted a hug or not but based on his reaction to the touch he decided against it.
"I think you're sick because you're so guilty Travis. Your guilt is manifesting into physical distress," he said softly. 

Travis's cries stifled at that before they started up again. "What?" Travis sniffed.

"You feeling sick the past few weeks? It getting worse this week? I think you're so guilty because you know you're gay. And it's eating you alive. You were taught it was wrong. You're so scared of going to hell. And it's hurting you."

Wonder and horror searched the teen's eyes as he cried. What Todd was saying made so much sense. Every time he thought about Sal. Every time he wanted to do....things...with Sal his stomach always dropped like he had to throw up. He assumed it was because he was guilty of the thoughts. And he was correct. This mysterious sickness he had was just due to his thoughts.

Finally. After what seemed like hours, however, only being a few minutes Travis had stopped crying. He was still sniffing, "Sorry." Travis mumbled. "That was stupid of me to be crying over this."

"Don't apologize. It's okay. You can cry" Todd smiled, watching as Travis grabbed the water again, chugging the rest down. "Why don't...would you be okay if Neil comes to talk?" 

"What?" His eyes widened, looking horrified at Todd. Neil. Neil. He was going to ask Neil to come to talk. Oh, he hated Travis though. They hated each other.

"Neil. My boyfriend. Can he come out and talk to you as well?" 

"Okay..?" Despite Travis wanting no one else to know about his thoughts, he didn't say no. Despite Neil and him probably hating each other.

He didn't say no.

Travis watched nervously as Todd left to go to his room, and a few moments later Neil and Todd walked out again.

"Phelps. Hey," Neil smiled, moving to pull a chair in front of Travis.

Todd sat next to him on the couch. He swallowed nervously at that.

 "Hey" He swallowed, looking over at the two. "I'm- I'm sorry for the past. Calling you guys fa-" He stopped himself. "You know what I mean. I'm sorry."

The two looked at each other before Neil chuckled "That means a lot to us Travis" He smiled. 

"Cool. Uh. Cool." Travis nodded, breathing out again. He started to grow more and more terrified. 

"So, you were taught being gay is a sin. And you're gay. Is that correct?" Neil started. 

Travis nodded slowly, cringing at the word. "Sinful thoughts. " He swallowed. He could accept that. Not him being gay. That was...a long way to go.

"Alright. Sinful thoughts. How did you know?" Neil asked softly. "Or figure out you were having them?"

"Well-" Travis took a shakey breath. "I guess since the beginning of freshman year? I had this crush on someone- some guy." He spoke. "And it just...Ate me out. I kept having thoughts of him, I hated myself so much for it. I prayed nightly to make the thoughts go away and I was just so terrified." Travis said quietly. "I had this crush...On this one kid. When I was younger. A boy. I saw my parents kiss and I thought that's what you do when you like someone. So I kissed him. It wasn't even on the lips! It was just on the check" Travis frowned. "My father saw, however." 

That was the first time Kenneth hit Travis. He remembered that night clearly. His mother was screaming at Kenneth after he had punched him. Telling him how 'he's a child' and 'He doesn't understand yet.' That was also the first time he saw Kenneth slap his mother as well. 

He shook the memory away, looking at Neil and Todd. They both had worried looks on their faces. The two nodded in silence, seemingly already agreeing on something.

"How long until your birthday?" Neil asked.

"What?" Travis asked confused.

"How long until your birthday?" 

"Like..four months. I turn 18 a month before we graduate." Travis frowned. "Why?" 

Todd and Neil looked at each other, a confirming nod again. "We want you to come live with us," Todd said softly. 

"What!?" Travis snapped to Todd. Live with them?!

"We have this house I'm putting on hold, we're moving into it this summer, Sals taking a year off for college but he'll be moving in sometime next year anyways. We want you to come to move in as well." Neil explained. 

Travis looked at him with wide eyes. "You want me...to leave...And just live with you?" He asked horrified. To leave his duties, to leave his responsibilities. He couldn't. 

"You don't have to live with Kenneth, you'll be away from him completely. And the house is in a newly built neighborhood." Todd smiled supportively. "You just seem so stressed Travis... ever since I knew you as kids. This could be a good chance."

"I mean-" Travis laughed. "That's a good offer. But I can't just leave my dad. He needs me." Travis frowned.

"How?" Neil asked back. 

"I'm supposed to run the church soon so he can retire. Like, right after I graduate I can't leave him." Travis said moving to stand up.

He was chosen. He was chosen for a reason. God has chosen him. He didn't go through that pain and agony for nothing. 

Travis was about to storm out, but he stopped seeing Todd's sad face. "But...I'll think about it." He swallowed. "I just...can't leave him," Travis spoke in a more quieter tone. He needs me still."

"One moment, before you go." Neil stood up, walked to the kitchen, and came back a moment later, handing Travis a piece of paper with words written on it.

"What's this?" Travis frowned taking the piece of paper. 

"My address and number." Neil smiled. "In case you need anything. And if Todd is busy. You can call me or come to my place. I understand what it's like to think these thoughts are sinful. My parents thought it was a sin as well. I grew up thinking the same. And I want to help you work through this as much as I can. "

He didn't have a phone. "Thanks." But he would still call. It was shocking to hear that Neil once was in the same spot Travis was in. The only Neil Travis knew was him being gay. His parents saw it as a sin? 

"Please just...don't tell anyone about this. Both of you." Travis begged. "It's like my father has eyes all over this town. If anyone knows he'll find out." 

"I won't. It's cool." Neil smiled sadly, Todd moving to hold his hand. "I know that feeling. I promise you neither of us will let anyone know. But Todd's apartment or my apartment is always open and safe for you." 

Travis smiled softly at that before a thought popped into his head. "You're parents-" 

"They're fine with me being gay. And we don't have to tell them if you don't want to." Todd laughed. 

"And I don't live with my parents anymore." Neil snorted. "They don't even like in Nockfell anymore."

Travis smiled, chuckling back, a bit more relieved "Thank you. Seriously. I don't deserve this. I wish I could do something to repay you guys."

"But you do." Todd hummed. "You deserve it. And don't repay us, Travis. This was our pleasure to help you."

Travis looked down at the paper as he pocketed the note. "I'll...Think about that offer by the way. " Travis smiled softly. "See you at school." 

"You too." Todd waved as Travis waved back to Neil and Todd as he left, closing the door behind him. Travis let a sigh out and started to walk home finally. The night processing for him.

He told someone. 

He had just told someone about his thoughts. His stupid sinful thoughts that...they understood and cared for. They offered Travis a place away from his father. Away from the fear he felt just by living in that house. No one has ever done that. That huge. Sal offered his place, but Neil and Todd... they offered a house? For him to live in? Could he tell them about...more things? Would they even understand?

Travis didn't think about his future. To be fair, he saw two futures. One where he ran the church, married a girl, and started a family. That was his father's future for him. And the other future was him dead. In the sense, he couldn't fathom himself still being here ten years down the road. To be honest he didn't even see him being 18. Maybe that was just due to his horrible time processing, or something worse, something he's thought about before. he genuinely didn't see himself here at 18. It didn't really make sense to Travis. 

There was, however, a secret future he thought about. A fantasy. Where he got together with Sal. And they lived together. Travis still going to church and being happy. Where he was alive. Thriving. 

It was still confusing. These feelings he had were wrong...They still felt wrong to have, but from what Todd was saying, could they be right? And for the first time in weeks. He didn't feel sick thinking about how these feelings were true. And if they were right for him.

Chapter Text

About a week had passed, and it was now Saturday again. To say it was uneventful was not a lie. Nothing really happened. Okay. Something did happen. Travis got in trouble for sneaking out and as punishment, Kenneth made Travis stay in a kneeling position that night over frozen peas. All night. That was not a night Travis wanted to remember. His knees  still  hurt. 

Even the day after Kenneth didn't let up. Making Travis read the bible in three days. And if he failed, he was told to start over again. So that's how the week went. Travis went to school, did the school work, read, went home, read, go to school. Like a never-ending cycle. Most days felt like a dream to Travis. The only reality was when he talked to Sal. Or Todd. The two gave him looks that made Travis feel love. Todd kept his promise. He never told anyone, smiling softly to Travis as the two passed in the halls. Despite this however some nights it was just too much for Travis. However, it wasn't as bad as before. Being with Sal...surprisingly helped.

He still felt sick thinking about Sal, but it wasn't as bad as it was before. There was still guilt deep in Travis he could never get rid of. Confessing to Todd and Neil surprisingly helped more than he thought.

He used the cassette tape Sal gave him daily. It was really nice. Surprisingly once again it helped him more than he could imagine. It was harder to use at home, but whenever Kenneth was gone, it was all he could listen to.

He had given it to Sal one night, asking if he could add songs instead. And he gladly did! There was one song in particular. By some band called 'the cure' or something. Travis always looped the song when he could.

If only father could see him now. Listening to sinful music. 

Sal had also offered to give him CDs, however since Travis didn't have a CD player, there was no way for him to play it. Travis promised that they would listen to them once he came over again. 

Father was going to the church more often, leaving Travis alone all day almost. He didn't know why. Something was going on. Deeper than he knew. But of course, his father wouldn't tell him anything.

It was Saturday. January 30th now. Time was flying. And Travis hated it. It wasn't fair. Time was moving on without him and he wanted time to just freeze. 

Luckily, Sal had invited him out for the day. It was a sunny day and was only going to be about 68° which was still fucking cold for Travis. But he didn't say no to the offer. There was only one downside. Travis had a dark bruise on his jaw from last night. It was extremely noticeable, and he hated it. Just another feature to add to his disgusting face. 

So he did what any teen would do to hide stuff. 

Travis covered it up with makeup. Stolen makeup from earlier today. But no one even noticed Travis in the store. Besides the cameras inside haven't worked for ages. No one caught him.

The makeup wasn't perfect, but it would do the trick. Maybe he should start wearing makeup more. To stop the rumors spreading about him. He knew his father was intense. But he could handle it. He's always handled it! It was just...getting a bit worse lately. But it was fine.

Around 11 am Travis made his way to the park where Sal and the gang were. Sal had told him they were gonna have food there, but he could bring food from home if we wanted. And thankfully, Kenneth got the bologna delivered! The perfect timing! Travis was wearing light blue jeans. He had a dark green jacket, as well as a light purple shirt underneath. He had his bible in one hand and a brown bag with the sandwich inside in another. He wore cheap headphones connected to the cassette, pulling them off his ears when he heard someone call his name.

"Hey, Jesus Kisser!" Larry called out, more playful this time but still with a hint of anger in his voice. 

The group was seated at a table. A box of donuts was laid out in front of them.

Travis only stared at it for a moment, dullness filled his eyes before he scoffed in annoyance. "I can only stay for a few hours, but I need to be back before five. He's still pissed at me from last week." Travis snorted, moving to the table.

"He's still on your ass at that?" Larry laughed. 

"Yeah. I have to read the bible in three days." Travis grumbled, placing the book on the table as well as the sack.

"That's not that bad." Sal hummed.

"No. In three days. I have to finish it or I have to start over all over again."

"Seriously?" Ashley laughed. "Isn't the bible like the longest book ever?"

"Not necessarily. But still pretty long."

"Can't you just lie and say you finished it?" She asked again. 

Travis shook his head. "No. Do you know how pissed he'll be if I lied? Besides, it's my punishment." He shrugged. "It's not that bad at all. Just a shit ton of reading. This is my second read. Since I failed last time." 

The group was silent before Sal spoke up. "Well, maybe donuts can help?" He chuckled. "As a brunch type of thing."

"Nah, not hungry." Travis shrugged. "I already ate breakfast before I left."

"But it's donuts!" Larry protested. "C'mon seriously. Unshove that stick up your ass and have one. A donut won't send you to hell."

"It's just donuts. I'm fine." Travis shrugged. "I already ate." He grumbled. 

"Fine. More for me then asshole!" Larry grinned, grabbing another donut as he ate it happily. 

Travis rolled his eyes, moving to place a hand on the table, resting his chin. That was a lie. He didn't eat breakfast. Kenneth was still fussing over Travis's appearance, and apparently, Breakfast was on that list. Thankfully he still allowed the bologna sandwich. The one good thing about this day. 

"Hey." A voice whispered to him. Travis perked up to see Sal next to him. His blue eyes(eye?) sparkling back "I can save some for lunch then for you? If you don't want to have them now." 

Travis shrugged. "Sure I guess? I brought my own lunch though."

Sal nodded slowly. "Okay. Just let me know" Sal hummed.

Travis smiled "So what are we doing here anyways?" Travis asked, moving to sit up and looking at the group.

"Just hanging out. Friends do that." Larry teased. "Shocking. I know." 

"Hah. Hah." Travis rolled his eyes. "But that's seriously it?"

"We'll we have a radio, and board games. Cards as well." Todd shrugged. "It's a nice day."

"A fucking cold day," Travis grumbled back. 

Despite his protests, the group did what Todd said they would do! Playing card games was one of them. Travis wouldn't say he's a pro at card games...pride was a sin but...

He's played them his whole life. He was definitely a pro at card games. 

After the sixth round, he won the group broke the game off, jokingly feeling sick of Travis winning, every. Game. They. Played. 

"Sore losers." Travis snorted as Ashley packed the cards up. 

"Can't be sore losers when you know literally all the cards game. How much free time do you have?" Sal laughed, helping Ashley grab the cards.

"Too much." Travis shrugged. "Way too much free time."

"Oh, I bet." Larry jabbed at Travis. "Pretty sure your whole life revolves around free time.'

"Hilarious." Travis rolled his eyes at Larry.

"Travis?" Todd whispered to the teen.

Travis turned to Todd frowning. "Yeah what's up?"

"Can we talk?" Todd asked after a moment. 

Travis frowned, looking at the group grabbing the cards. then back to Todd. "Yeah. Sure." He said moving to stand up. 

He noticed Sal's gaze linger on him for a few minutes before walking with Todd. 

"Hey," Todd said again once they were a distance away. "We didn't get to talk that much this week. How is everything?"

"Good. I guess?" Travis shrugged. "I still don't know about your offer. If your asking." He thought about it a lot. And it was terrifying. Leaving the church? His father? He couldn't do that. He didn't want to harm him. Even if this was on the path, leaving the church was definitely off of it.

"That's completely okay." Todd smiled softly. "How are you feeling about tomorrow? With church?"

"Honestly?" Travis laughed weakly. "I'm terrified. It's still- hard to...wrap my head around. To confess that I'm...y'know." He frowned. "It feels so guilty." He frowned. "It's like... I'm scared?"

"I can go if you want." Todd offered. 

Travis shook his head, laughing to himself. "My father would ask about why you're there. I'm sorry. He just... knows you."

"Yeah. I get it." Todd sighed, scanning Travis's face again. The teen looked exhausted. Horrible eyebags that seemed to be growing darker each day. "Anything you need let me know though, okay?"

"Okay." Travis forced a smile out. 

"Great. Let's get back to the group." Todd smiled.

The two turned around to the group, seeing as Larry was now climbing a tree.

"What did we miss?" Todd snorted. "We only left for a minute!" 

"Tree climbing contest." Sal laughed. "He and Ashley are seeing who can climb a tree the fastest. So far Ashley has him beat by 10 seconds."

"Why would you climb a tree?" Travis asked puzzled. "There's no point in it."

"Wait. You've never climbed a tree?" Ashley frowned, looking at Travis. 

"No..?" 

Larry jumped down, laughing. "Time! Go!"

"Uh- 48 seconds." 

"Fuck me!" Larry groaned, looking at Travis and then at the group. "I missed something. Spill."

"Travis never climbed a tree." Ashley chuckled.

Travis scoffed. "I just don't see the big deal in it! It's stupid."

"Because you were fucking sheltered that's why." Larry laughed. "Daddy didn't want you doing anything he didn't approve us."

Travis rolled his eyes. "Hah. hah. Fuck you." He spat angrily. Looking over to Sal. "What else is there to do here?" He asked annoyed. 

He was not sheltered. Sure he was only allowed to make friends with the church members, not listen to any other music, not learn about any other religion, only watch movies related to Christianity, and was only allowed to do things his father deemed appropriate. But that wasn't sheltering! Right..?

"Okay down boys." Sal laughed. "Down. We should probably get lunch now hm?" 

"Yeah. Sals right. I am pretty hungry." Todd hummed, moving to walk back to the table as the group followed. 

They all unpacked what they brought, simple things. Apples, bananas, sandwiches. 

Travis kept his eyes on Sal as he unbuckled his bottom clasp, lifting his mask as he started to eat. Despite Travis not seeing his face, he still could picture it clearly. 

"Whatcha got there?" Todd asked breaking his thoughts as he pointed to the brown lunch bag. 

Travis looked down and pulled out the sandwich he couldn't wait to have. "A bologna sandwich." He shrugged. "My father knew I liked them so he bought more."

"Oh, sick. That's cool." Ashley hummed, but there was a hint of disgust in her voice. 

"Yeah. He was able to make it exactly the way it was before! I love it." Travis laughed, unwrapping the sandwich, and started to eat it.

Sal froze at that. "Like...the same way they made it in the school?" He asked.

Travis nodded. "Yeah. He found uh Packersons supply maker and got the meat. So I can have more." Travis said between bites. "He didn't have to do it. Especially after the shit I pulled but he did."

"You do know where that meat came from right?" Larry asked horrified. 

"I've heard the rumors." Travis rolled his eyes. "Even if it came from goats so what? It's good meat." 

Everyone looked at him horrified. But Sal was the one to speak up again. "Travis...your dad knows...where to get more of it? The same place Packerson did?"

"Yep"

"Just....be careful eating it, dude." Sal was quiet as he started to eat the banana he packed. 

Travis raised his eyebrow. "Sure..?" He frowned, continuing to eat the sandwich. That was weird. Especially for Sal. Why were they so weird with him eating the sandwich?... Did they not want him to eat it? Travis grimaced, lowering the sandwich. Maybe they were right. He shouldn't eat it. He ate half of it already. Maybe that's enough for the day.

Shit. And he was so excited to have it. Maybe he shouldn't... 

Soon the day went by after that. It was peaceful. There was a head-banging dance off Sal and Larry performed, as well as Sal begging Travis to read one of his poems,

Travis declining.

Multiple. Times. 

He didn't hate them! Well. Some he did hate. But they were personal to Travis. Just like Sal's face. Ok so maybe that's  not  a good comparison. But it's the only one Travis thought of! He would only show his poems or read them when he was comfortable. 

Travis began to read his bible under the tree an hour later, glancing up every so often as Todd was reading his book. 'The outsiders' huh? Wasn't that a movie that came out a while ago? It sounded familiar. Ashley painted Sals and Larry's nails as well. She painted black for Larry and Pink for Sal. 

He looks good in pink.

"Hey, Travis." She asked him a few minutes later after she caught him staring. "Want me to paint your nails?" She asked. 

He snorted. "As if." Travis paused before correcting himself. "Sorry. I mean no. I don't." Kenneth would have a field day if he saw Travis's nails painted. That plus the church always pushed the fact that men shouldn't wear makeup or nail polish. 

Well. 

I guess he broke that rule as well. 

He really was checking off all the sins huh?

"That's okay! Let me know if you change your mind." She hummed, moving back to add a second coat to Sal's nails. 

The quiet buzz of nature grew on Travis. It was nice. The tree's leaves brushed against each other as the wind blew and shadows danced on the grass he sat on. 

Travis's eyes grew heavier as the words blurred in front of him. He was reading for an hour now. And before he knew it the world went black.

"Uh...guys?" Todd whispered out. 

"What's up?" Sal looked behind him to Todd and smiled softly. Sure enough, Travis's eyes were closed, and his mouth was slightly open, snoring. The Bible had slipped from his hands and was now laying on the grass beside him. But more importantly. He was asleep. His head resting on Todd's shoulder. 

"Should we wake him?" Ashley asked.

"Nah. I think he needs the sleep." Larry shrugged, turning to face Travis as well. "Don't think he got any sleep this week at all judging by his eye bags."

"Woah. Hold up." Ashley gasped. "Larry. Are you actually caring for Travis?" She laughed. 

Larry's face turned red. "What!? No! I am not!" 

"You did just tell us to not wake him up because he... what was it again? "He needs the sleep and looks exhausted." Todd chuckled. "That seems like caring to me."

"Well, he does need sleep! That doesn't mean I fucking care about him." Larry snapped. 

Sal laughed, patting Larry's back. "Sure. He's growing on you, dude. I can tell. Friends do that." 

Larry scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Like you guys didn't hate him a few weeks ago." 

Todd rolled his eyes. "We can still hate him for what he did in the past. But he's trying to be way nicer now. He even apologized to me and Neil a couple of days ago for what he said to us. To me, that shows a huge change."

"Wait-" She gasped, pulling her polaroid camera out. "Smile Todd." Ashley grinned.

"Oh he's gonna hate you for this" Todd laughed as Ashley snapped the photo of the two boys, placing the photo and camera down again.

"Well sucks for him then." She teased, looking at Todd. "Sucks for you as well."

"What? Why?" 

"You get to me my science experiment." Ashley grinned evilly as she pulled out nail polish from her backpack. "Can't escape me this time Morrison. Now give me those hands." 

Travis's eyes slowly opened, the faint sound of laughter before quick sushes woke him up. He groaned, moving his head. God his neck hurt.

"Morning sleeping beauty" Sal chuckled. 

Travis groaned again. rubbing his eyes as light shined through. "What...just happened?"

"You fell asleep" Sal hummed. "Just for like an hour or so." He shrugged. "We didn't wanna wake you."

Travis blinked at that, still adjusting to waking up. "What...fucking time is it?" He grumbled. He fell asleep? That never happened before. He's gone days without sleeping the night before. So he couldn't be tired. He didn't have any weird dreams either. So why did he fall asleep? 

"Like four pm." Todd hummed. "You had to leave before five, and we didn't want to make you rush home."

"Oh. Thanks. I guess." Travis mumbled, looking down to his bible to see it was neatly closed a bookmark most likely on the page he stopped at. 

Ashley giggled, handing him a polaroid. In it, were Travis and Todd. Travis was dead asleep, leaning on Todd's shoulder as the other teen seemed to be laughing.

"Keep it" Ashley smiled. 

Travis smiled softly at the photo, he looked so peaceful here. Like he has no worries. "Thanks." He said softly, looking back up at the gang. "I should get going I guess. If it's past four." He sighed, moving to stand up. "Today was fun. Thanks for inviting me." 

"Course." Sal hummed.

"Well. I guess I'll see you tomorrow Sal?" He asked, hoping Sal would be at church. He liked Sal there. It was nice having him there last week.

"Hell yeah." He chuckled, waving off to Travis. 

Travis waved to the group before he started to walk away.

"Oh! Wait!" A voice yelled from behind him. Travis stopped and turned around, seeing Sal running over to him. Sal handed Travis a donut wrapped in a small box.

He raised his eye at that but took it. "Take it for later. There was still one left. You can heat it if it's too cold." Sal explained. 

"Thanks..?" Travis frowned, placing it in the brown bag. 

"I didn't see you eat really anything today," Sal said more quietly. "You ate half of your sandwich for lunch. I just don't want you to go home hungry."

"I'm not hungry." He forced a smile out. "But thank you," Travis said "I'll have it tomorrow."

Even with the prosthetic Travis felt Sal's face had worry on it. Like he didn't believe him.

"I promise." Travis smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. See you tomorrow Trav."

Chapter Text

"You actually came again!" Travis chuckled as he walked up to Sal. The ceremony was over, and to be fair Travis hardly remembered most of it. Maybe he needed to get that checked out by a doctor soon. But Kenneth wouldn't believe him at all. That and he hated his collar. It felt itchy and it made his skin crawl. 

Sal was wearing a long yellow dress, with his normal sneakers as well as his hair being tied back into a low ponytail. "Of course I did! Why wouldn't I?" Sal smiled. 

"How was the ceremony?" Travis asked, his heart racing. He really didn't enjoy this particular one. His father went on about how sometimes sacrifices needed to be made in order to stay pure. That and...how he kept on pressing that homosexuals deserved to burn. 

Travis hated how people clapped at that. 

He also hated how so many people were still talking now. It was over! People should be leaving! But no! They stayed. He could hear them laugh and talk and if people were close enough he heard one chewing and ough- it was too much.

"It was...intense." Sal chuckled. "How did you feel about it?"

Travis was about to speak when a blue-haired man, who was balding, with a beard walked up behind Sal.

Sal seemed to notice his gaze shift up and he turned around. "Oh!" He looked back to Travis. "Uh, Travis this is my dad. Dad, Travis. I don't think you've officially met?" 

Travis shook his head. "I don't think so. We talked on the phone once I think. It's nice to meet you in person sir." He said, holding his hand out. He smelled like beer. That was the first thing Travis noticed. Interesting. 

"Oh yes!" Henry nodded, moving to shake Travis's hand as well. "You can call me Henry. We did talk on the phone. It's nice to meet you in person finally. My son has told me about you." 

Travis's eyes widened. "He did?" Shit. Did he know about how he bullied Sal? Shit. Shit shit.

Henry chuckled. "Yes. He has. I'm sorry we didn't get to meet when you came over two times. You two seem pretty close"

"Oh, it's fine." He smiled, a breath of relief washing over him. "Im uh..glad to of know Sal." Travis smiled. 

Henry looked him over, sighing. "You're always more than welcome to come over whenever you need for the future. No need to ask." 

"Oh." Well, that was surprising. Henry just offered Travis over whenever he felt like it. He would assume Sal would say that. But his father? His father was just fine with Travis coming and going.

"Travis." Kenneth's voice suddenly boomed behind him and a hand was placed on his shoulder. The teen hated how it made him flinch. "I've been looking for you everywhere." He said, looking up at the two. "I presume we haven't met?" He asked the two.

"No sir." Sal shook his head, not missing the way Travis flinched. 

"I'm Henry Fisher. This is my son, Sal." The man smiled, moving to shake Kenneth's hand. Kenneth hummed and shook it back. 

"Well good to finally meet you both. Your son attended last week's session as well. I'm very pleased to see him back. But this is your first time?" He asked Henry. 

"I was pretty busy last week, but was free this week to watch it." Henry chuckled. 

"Ah, work?" 

"Yep," Henry nodded. "I wish I had your job. Working once a week."

Kenneth let a laugh out, shaking his head.

It felt real. That laugh. A part of Travis missed it. He used to hear it every day in the past...But now what kind of son was he? He couldn't even get his own father to laugh.

"Oh, I wish it was that easy. A lot of paperwork as a pastor and planning. You'd be surprised." 

"Well I worked in accounting before...we moved" Henry's face faulted. "Paperwork is fine for me." 

Kenneth glanced over to Sal and back to Henry. "Have you ever thought about joining the church officially?"

"Dad-" Sal's eyes widened and he snapped his head to his dad.

"Sal. Enough." Henry hissed back.

Travis frowned, glancing between the two. Why was Sal so terrified of his father working here? If he did then Sal could see Travis even more! He was about to look back to Sal before a flickering light in the doorway caught his attention. Guess the lightbulb was going out. He tried to turn his focus away from it, but no matter where he looked the light was always in the corner of his eyes. 

Henry glanced between Travis and Kenneth before shaking his head. "I would love the offer however I think I would like to stay where I am. Maybe in the future." 

"Of course." Kenneth smiled. "Will Sal be coming here more?"

"If I'm free then definitely." Sal shrugged. "Or if Travis invites me again."

"How did you enjoy the ceremony today?" Kenneth asked Sal.

"It was definitely something I'm not used to." Sal laughed. "I haven't been in a church since I was 8 years old. But Travis invited me. So I gladly came."

That was smart. Sal didn't say he liked it or hated it.

"Well, my son needs friends. I'm glad he found you, Sal. He has trouble making friends here in the church." Kenneth laughed. "Teen boys. You know how it is." He sighed looking down at Travis. "He's always had anger issues. Ever since my wife...left. It's been hard on all of us."

Travis swallowed, refusing to look at Sal or his father. He hated this. Kenneth was talking like he wasn't even here. Telling Sal and his father about his own personal life. This was all feeling too much. The noise, the light, his collar. Even his hair started to itch. God. Can everyone stop fucking talking!?

"I...uh...lost my mom as well," Sal spoke up. "A few years ago. It was a wild dog. "Wolf" I guess attack. That's why I have this prosthetic."

"Ah." Kenneth frowned, his eyes darkening. "My apologies. I had no idea."

"It's alright." Henry sighed. "Sal has had trouble finding friends before moving here." Henry turned to Sal. "Speaking of friends, weren't you doing something with Larry today?" He asked.

"Yes! I'm going to the arcade today with Larry remember?"

"Right of course. Call me if you need anything." Henry smiled, looking at Kenneth. "It was nice to meet you two as well. But I should get going."

"Of course. We're heading out soon as well. Just some last-minute church business. I hope to see you soon here Mr. Fisher?" 

Henry nodded. "We'll see." He waved off to Sal before walking to leave.

"Well, Sal. Your father seems like a nice man. Travis. You two finish up here and then we need to go. Alright?"

"Yes sir." Travis nodded, finally looking up at his father.

Kenneth only chuckled at that and patted his upper back, sending shocks flying to his brain. His father knew. He had to of known that would hurt Travis. It was like a warning. Travis thought. He watched as Kenneth walked away before looking at Sal.

"Woah dude-" Sal frowned. "You're shaking." 

"What?" Travis frowned, looking down at his hands. Sure enough. He was shaking. Travis swallowed, opening his mouth as he tried to speak but no words came out. Buzzing filled his ears and his sight became static. 

"Trav, hey look at me for a sec?" Sal asked.

Travis moved his head up, feeling like he wasn't in control of his body. This was weird. It's happened a few times as well. The same thing. Everything felt too much for him. It wasn't a panic attack. He could breathe fine! Just- everything felt like it was too much.

"Let's go outside yeah? Get some fresh air." Sal asked, holding his hand out. Sal wasn't sure if Travis was gonna take it or not, but he wanted to indicate it first. 

Travis took Sal's hand and took it without hesitation. Normally he would be a blushing mess at that but as of now, there were more important things happening. 

Sal slowly led Travis out of the church and walked outside to the side of it. He slowly sat down with the teen. Sal had hoped fresh air could help Travis stay down to earth. He looked to let go of Travis's hand but realized that Travis wasn't letting go. The teen smiled softly under his prosthetic. 

Travis gripped the grass with one hand, leaning back on the wall as he breathed in. He could still hear faint talking behind them, but it wasn't as bad as before. His collar still felt itchy. Travis moved to pull on it, thankfully the fabric released from his throat, and pulled away. 

Oh, thank God that was so much better. 

"You okay?" 

Travis took deep breaths closing his eyes. He began to hit his knee with his fist, quiet hard, but not hard enough to bruise it. He didn't know why but this helped. In the past hitting his head, knee, arm, anywhere seemed to help calm him down when things got too much

"I'm okay." Travis swallowed after a few minutes of doing this. "Thank you." He said quietly, moving to place his hand on the ground. He still felt on edge, like one more thing can make him snap again. but being outside did help.

"Was that another panic attack?" Sal asked worriedly. 

"It wasn't a panic attack. I don't think?" Travis frowned. "I could breath fine...it was just too much." He knew what a panic attack felt like. And this, while feeling awful, was not a panic attack at all.

"How was it too much?"

"It just was!" He snapped. "My clothes feel too tight on me and itchy. It was too bright. And so much talking. So many different conversations. Did you know there was a light flickering by the entrance inside?" 

Sal shook his head. "I had no idea." He frowned

"Well, I did. It fucking annoyed me the whole conversation. It wasn't flickering in the ceremony. But fuck the ceremony was horrible as well." Travis groaned. "I don't know why I'm so weird today. I just feel so fucking irritated." 

"You're not weird at all Travis." Sal frowned. 

Travis was weird. He wasn't normal. That shouldn't be happening to him. He was 17. He shouldn't be getting angry over people talking like he did as a kid. His father had always screamed at him for acting like a child as well. He told Travis to suck it up or he would beat it out of him. Well guess Kenneth was wrong, Again. It was still here.

"Was Kenneth touching you at the tipping point?" 

"I guess." Travis sighed, "It was like. I dont know. I wanted to punch something. Just the feeling felt so wrong plus with the lights, and the talking. I couldnt take it." He grumbled. looking down at his hand holding Sals. "But-" He swallowed. "This is fine." 

Sal chuckled. "Really? Most people say my hands are...really dry." 

"I don't mind. They feel nice." Travis smiled. Sal's hands remained him of his mother's. Her hands were always dry and cracked. "Besides, most people say my hands are rough."

"I don't mind. They feel nice as well." Sal look at Travis and chuckled. 

Travis's face turned red and his heart raced at that. A certain blue-haired boy's heart started to beat as well. "Well-" He chuckled, moving to pull something out of his pocket. "Maybe this can make you feel even more better?"

Travis's eyes widened. "You did not." He gasped as Sal, once again pulled an orange out.

"I did." He laughed, handing Travis the orange. "Like I said. Im bringing one every week." 

Travis looked down at the orange, smiling softy. "Thank you. I-I'll eat it when I get back home. I promise." Travis said, setting it down on the ground. That was still a promise he wouldn't break. No matter what. That remined him of last week...How he had passed out...How he had that dream...

"Sal," Travis spoke softly, looking back to the teen. "Do...do you believe in ghosts?" He asked, trying to ignore how his heart raced even more as Sal began to run his own thumb over his.

"Uh...Yeah..? Why?" He asked confused. 

Travis sighed. "I don't know. I'm a Christian. I shouldn't be thinking about ghosts and demonic stuff like that." He frowned. "It's just...I was thinking about my mom...What if shes dead?" That thought had ran through him more than once. He didnt know what could be worse. Her dead, or her leaving. He wished she was dead however. A darker part of him. It would be a valid reason as to why she didnt come back for him.

"Oh." Sal was silent. "I'm sorry if I did-"

"No- no you didn't do anything!" Travis's eyes widened "Im just thinking about her. It's weird. But I wish I could see her again. I keep thinking that she might be dead and that terrifies me." He looked to Sal worriedly. "I had a dream about her a week ago. Well- not exactly her? It was just a demon...in her body and I don't know. It still has me thinking." He groaned. His mother couldnt be dead. She had to still be out there!

"Well...I don't know if...Ghosts... Personally, I'm pretty sure I've seen ghosts myself" Sal laughed. "So I believe in them.

"What!?" Travis snapped to Sal, letting go of his hand. "You've seen a ghost?" He laughed. "Seriously? What did they look like!?" He asked a bit curious. Why was he curious? He shouldn't be curious.

Sal chuckled, scratching his hair nervously. "I mean...I think. Ok..." He closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't want Travis in this cult business. But knowing about ghosts couldn't hurt. "I'm pretty sure I've seen a ghost. On the fifth floor of our apartments." 

Travis nodded slowly at that. "Yeah..?" He couldn't believe it. Ghosts. Sal saw a ghost. A real life living ghost. But of ghosts were real..

"Uh.. she's a little girl seven or eight, with purple hair." He chuckled. "And she has a cross necklace. Her name is-"

"Megan?" Travis finished for him. Megan was dead? His father had told him that she moved away with her family...How- Why was she dead? 

Sal paused, looking at Travis with wide eyes. "How do you know her name?"

Travis was about to speak before a voice yelled out to him.

"Travis!" Kenneth boomed.

Travis's eyes widened as he looked up to the car "Shit." He cursed, moving to grab the orange and stand up. "We'll um-" Travis swallowed. Sal knew Megan. He had to of seen her! She never took off her cross necklace. Just like he didn't. It was both a gift from their moms. Sisters. Travis was sad when he heard his cousin had moved away but didn't think anything of it. 

To think. All this time she was dead? 

His head began to hurt. As well as his stomach. He felt sick again. "I'll- I'll see you tomorrow." Was all he could say as he left Sal on the grass, quickly walking over to his father's car, pocketing the orange before he closed the door and leaned his head back on the seat.

"What were you talking about with that boy?" Kenneth asked as the car drove off. 

"School. He was offering to help tutor me."

"Hm." Kenneth nodded. "Good, you're getting tutoring. Took you long enough to get that stupid brain used for a good purpose." Kenneth scoffed. "And to think. You're a Phelps. We've always excelled in school. You brought shame to the name."

"Yeah..." " Travis nodded. Normally that comment would hit him hard. It would snake its way deep down and make him doubt himself for the day. But he couldn't get the thought of Megan out of him. All from a dumb question he asked. She was four years younger than him. He was 11. They were extremely close, however, weirdly enough Megan never wanted Travis to hang out at the apartments. She liked it at Travis's home. Thinking back on it. She was in the same position as him. Luke, her father had started to get angry. Even Kenneth didn't want him around. A part of Travis had a dark thought. That what if Luke killed her and her mom? Shit...

Stacy is dead as well. His mom's sister. There goes another person who could have helped him find her.

But if...Megan was a ghost then would she be one as well? Maybe he could talk to Stacy! She might know where his mom went. Dead or not, could he see his mother again? 

Chapter Text

"So why did we have to cut the arcade and go back to the apartments?" Larry asked as the two walked back home. The church was pretty close to the apartments, however, would be faster with a car. It's not like they couldn't get a car. Larry was 18 now even, but being in a small town did cause some perks, a lot of things were within walking distance. Besides. There were more important things than driver's licenses. Maybe soon they would get one, but not right now. 

The moment he met up with Sal at the Church, the teen was in a panic. Telling him something came up and they had to talk to Megan apparently. 

"Travis knows Megan Larry," Sal spoke, his eye haunted under his prosthetic. "We were talking about ghosts and she got brought up."

"What do you mean he knows Megan?" Larry frowned. "Like. Ghost Megan?"

"Yeah!" 

Larry scoffed, shaking his head. "He probably- overheard you talking about her or something." 

"I'm telling you! He knew her name!" Sal frowned. "I'm scared Travis is in some deeper shit than he knows." Travis must have seen her alive. Sal knew that Megan's father, Luke. Was a part of the cult. A bit of him worried Kenneth might be as well.

Soon the two made it back to the apartments, quickly entering the elevator, and went up to Sal's apartment so he could grab the GameBoy. Henry wasn't home yet, and Gizmo was fast asleep on the couch. Sal quickly grabbed it from his room and left, looking at Larry. "Let's go." 

The two went back up the elevator as it hit the fifth floor, stepping out.

"So what. Is Travis in the cult or something?" Larry asked as they opened the door and walked to room 504. "Isn't he super religious? Why would he be in a demonic cult?" 

"I don't know Larry." He grumbled. "I'm just worried. Megan died 7 years ago. Travis had to of met her when she was alive. Especially to remember how she looked." He explained as the two walked to the bathroom inside the room

Sal carefully pressed a button as the game glowed green before a girl morphed into the bathroom, blood, and flesh wrapping around her to form bones, muscles, and skin.

"Can never get used to that," Larry mumbled under his breath and shuddered.

The ghost looked at the two and gasped. "Sallyface! Larryface!" She giggled.

"Meganface!" Sal chuckled back. "I'm so sorry it's been a while" He hummed. "How have you been?"

"I've missed you! I've been good! Mommy has been happier than she's ever been! Why haven't you come to visit?" She frowned.

Sal sighed. "A lot of school work, as well as well as life itself is horrible."

Megan giggled. "Todd showed me a few questions he was working on a few weeks ago. They seem really confusing. I don't know how you can solve them." She smiled. 

Sal only nodded. "Yeah. It is." He chuckled. "But can we ask you a question?" 

"Mhm!" She nodded. "I can try to answer it! I don't need anything in return!" 

Sal looked over Larry before back to Megan. "Do...you know a Travis Phelps?" Sal asked. "When you were alive. Tall kid, Blonde hair- well dyed, so it could have been brown?"

"It was always blonde" Larry mumbled out.

"Right. Okay. Did you know him?" Sal asked, ignoring Larry 

Megan giggled, and her face began to brighten. "I know Travis!" She smiled. "He's my cousin!" She smiled. "Why did you want to know?"

"He's your what!?" Larry yelled out. "You're family with him? How-?"

Megan winced back at the yelling and nodded. "Mhm! His mommy was my mommy's sister..." She said softly. 

"Did you know her name? Travis's mother." Sal asked again. Cousins. They were family. That's how Travis knew her.

"Mhm! Her name was Tyra!" Megan smiled. 

Tyra. That was a start. Tyra Phelps. Who knows what her maiden name would be? And asking Megan would be too confusing. But it was a start...Maybe Todd could run a search for that name.

"Were you two close?" Sal asked softly, "You and Travis?"

She thought for a moment. "I always went over to his house! Mommy liked it there better anyways than here. Her sister was there! However, she didn't like Travis's daddy." She frowned, wrapping a hand around her necklace. "I didn't like him either..."

"Why not?" Sal pressed on worriedly. 

The girl frowned, looking down. "He was just mean to Travis and his mommy." She frowned. "I saw it sometimes when I wasn't supposed to..."

This felt like an invasion of Travis's privacy. Sal shouldn't be hearing someone else talk about his home life. It made him worry more for the teen, but felt wrong. 

"What else did your mom say? Specifically about Travis's dad?" Sal asked, trying to re-word his question.

"He was the reason daddy was always so mean to us." She frowned. "She said that Travis's daddy was a bad man. And um...doing bad things...."

"What bad things?" Larry asked.

Megan shrunk in on herself, pulling at her shirt. "I don't...um.." 

"It's okay Meg," Sal said quietly, moving to kneel in front of the girl. "You can take your time...but we really need to know what he did. If, Kenneth is a bad man. We want to stop him." Sal frowned. "We're worried he could hurt more people." 

"I always got in trouble telling people this...promise you won't tell anyone?" Megan asked. "A lot of mean people here don't like when I tell people..." She whispered.

"I promise." Sal smiled. "No one besides me and Larry will know. I won't tell anyone. Pinky swear." He hummed, moving to hold his pinky up.

Megan giggled, holding her pinky out as well. Since she couldn't physically touch Sal, this was the best option. 

"Okay!" She smiled, more confident "Um...I followed my daddy one night...He left to go to the basement, and he was in this weird building...It was um...very deep. Right under the apartments. I overheard them talking about a plan to...bring shadows...to the world?" Megan frowned. "It was a really scary place."

Sal and Larry looked at each other horrified. The temple. 

"Was Travis there?" Sal asked terrified. This was bad. Very bad. It still felt wrong. Like an invasion of privacy, but he cared for Travis. He wanted to know if the teen was safe.

"Travis was sleeping on a table!" She giggled. "That part was funny. He walked in like he was sleepwalking and his daddy helped him onto a table made of stone! Then he put a funny mask on! Then he, my daddy, and other people said some funny words before Travis-" Megan frowned. "I don't wanna talk about the next part... It was scary."

"What happened to Travis after the scary part?" Larry asked a bit worried himself. That wasn't good as well. The cult did something to Travis. Some ritual. His father did something. Despite their differences, Larry used to be close to Travis. And something deep inside worried for him as well.

"Um..." Megan frowned. "He was sleeping after it...So his daddy carried him somewhere...I think back home? It was weird. I asked him about it the next day and he had no clue what I meant!" She frowned. "He thought I had a nightmare and didn't believe me. But I know what I saw!" 

Okay. so. Travis was involved in the cult. Involuntary. Shit. He wanted to keep Travis far away from it. But in reality, he was already in it. And to make things worse he had no idea about it. Megan said he was acting all weird at first...oh fuck did Kenneth drug him? He would have only been a kid back then...

"Wait. Wait slow down. A mask...?" Sal asked. "You said something about a mask?" He asked, everything processing for him.

Megan nodded. "Travis's daddy wore a silver dog mask. It was scary."

Wait.

Wait what the fuck. 

"A silver dog mask?" Sal swallowed. 

The image that haunted him his whole life. The man in the mask. The man in the wolf mask. The man in a wolf mask with a gun pointed right at him- 

"Yeah!" 

"I'm gonna be sick-" Sal stepped back, dropping the Super-GearBoy on the ground, and grabbed onto his hair as he backed up to a wall. 

"Sal? Hey, dude what's wrong?" Larry frowned, looking at his friend who was backing up against the wall. 

"Sallyface?" He heard Megan's voice ring out. "Are you alright? Is everything okay?" She said.

"You know how get mad memories and leave?" Larry asked nervously. 

Megan only nodded worriedly. 

"I think that happened to Sal."

Her face dropped. "Oh, I'm so sorry Sally!" She frowned. "I didn't mean to!" 

"It's okay Megan. I just- need to help Sal." 

"I'll go. It's okay. I understand...I'm sorry for bringing it up" She said quietly before disappearing before Larry could say anything. 

He frowned before looking back to his friend.

"Sal, hey, buddy look at me" Larry frowned. "Deep breaths. What happened?"

"The- the fucking dog Larry." Sal wheezed. "It wasn't a fucking dog I just said that because no one fucking believed me it was a man in a dog mask!"

"What are you talking about?" He frowned. "Man in a mask?"

"The fucking incident!" He hissed out. 

"Holy fucking shit." Larry's eyes widened. Sal told him about it a bit after they met. How a dog attacked him and his mother, and his mother died. He always knew it was a dog. That's what Sal told him...But it was a man? A man this whole time?

"I can't-" Sal gasped for air as the world around him turned dizzy. "I can breath-"

"Okay. Okay, let's get your prosthetic off man." Larry said worriedly. "Is that okay?" 

Sal shook his head, pulling harder on his hair. "I can't. I can't I can't-" 

"I'm gonna unclip your prosthetic okay dude? Is that okay?" Larry asked gently once again. 

Sal nodded, shutting his head as Larry moved to unclasp the two straps of Sal's prosthetic, moving it off and setting it on the ground. 

Sal continued to take shaky breaths, moving to grab a hold of Larry's arm as he gasped for air. 

Larry frowned, staying close to his friend as his panic attack continued on. Every so often he reminded Sal to take deep breaths, and slowly but surely Sal was able to breathe normally again. 

"You okay little dude?" Larry asked after a moment of Sal just closing his eyes.

"No." Sal swallowed. "I don't think I am. This is worse than we thought Larry. We're in way over our heads." He whispered, looking down at his prosthetic laying on the ground. "Kenneth killed my mother Larry." 

"Shit. Im- Im so sorry. I really don't know what else to say. Why would he do that?" He frowned. "What does he have against you?"

"I don't know Larry." He sniffed softly. "But he thinks he killed me-" Sal stopped his thoughts. A new thought crashed through him.

The cult. The dog mask. Travis being in a ritual. It all made sense.

"Kenneth is the leader of the Devours Of God." Sal gasped out. "He's the fucking cult leader Larry."

Larry's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No. No! He can't be. He's a preacher! How can he be a satanic cult leader?" 

"A coverup?" Sal pulled on his hair, still exhausted from the panic attack. "I don't know. But I passed out a while ago, had a dream-" 

"You passed out? When?" Larry frowned. "Why for that matter?" 

"Like...a week ago? It was all fuzzy but...It was talking about Travis. He was in my dream. Or vision. Whatever." Sal said quietly as he picked at the skin on his thumbs. "The red eye demon stabbed him before he turned into ash," Sal mumbled. "Some fucking. Face thing I've been seeing since freshman year talked to me as well. I couldn't understand much but... He said Travis was in danger. That there was something greater at stake."
 
"Holy shit." Larry's eyes widened. "So what. What role does he have in all of this?" 

"It gets weirder." Sal looked at Larry.

"How? You had a dream about a face talking to you. How much weirder can it get!" 

"Travis had a weird dream as well about his mother. He didn't tell me exactly what happened but that it was weird as well. I guess he passed out the same time I did" Sal took a shakey breath before his eyes widened. "Oh my God-" He froze in horror. 

"What. What is it?" Larry asked. "What happened?"

It all made sense. The same dream they had. Travis talking about seeing the red eye demon even. That he saw it. That his father was going to the temple more and more.  Megan said Travis was in a ritual as a kid. Why didn't that click for Sal? Kenneth was his father and the cult leader. And if he was the man who tried to kill Sal. The same man who summoned the Red eye demon in the first place. The demon he and Larry helped banish years ago. It would make sense for a backup. A safe guard just in case things go wrong. It all started to make sense.

Sal swallowed. "I think Travis is gonna be a host for red eyes. To bring him back." 

Chapter Text

Travis didn't sleep last night. He couldn't. Not after Sals and his conversation. 

He broke Sal's promise as well. He promised him that he would eat the orange, but he just couldn't. Every time he even thought about eating, his stomach lurched. Just thinking about Megan being dead made him want to puke. Violent thoughts flooded his mind. Ways that Megan could have died. He couldn't stop picturing her. She was only seven. And was dead. She had to of been murdered, and that made him terrified. Why didn't he hear about this? It would have been all over the news. And people would have talked about it. 

Then it dawned on him.

Megan "moved" around the summertime. At the same time, Kenneth made Travis go to bible camp. It was odd. He never did it before, preaching that other churches would teach him wrong and that he was the only one who could properly teach Travis. 

It would have been over two months later. The news would have stopped talking about her, and so would the kids. That made him feel even sicker. His father knew. He knew and he sent Travis away. Why didn't he say anything? Why didn't his mother say anything? Did they want to keep him safe? To not hurt him? Travis could see that and understand. He *was* only 11. Hearing that his cousin was dead would hurt. But he was 17 now. Why couldn't his father say anything later on? 

His mother left two months after he got back as well. His father could have told him the truth. That Megan was dead. And his mother left. However what if now she didn't leave and died as well? Was it another cover-up? A ruse to keep Travis in the dark again?

With all these thoughts swarming his head, Travis didn't eat for the rest of the day besides dinner, however, he threw it up right after in the bathroom. He just couldn't eat. He didn't eat breakfast either. His throat would close up and his stomach twisted in ways it felt like someone was inside him. Punching and stabbing his stomach. 

His chest felt heavy as well. It still felt heavy ever since yesterday. Travis hasn't felt this horrible since before he talked and came out to Todd and Neil.

That talk...surprisingly helped. If only he could talk to them about how he was terrified of his cousin being dead. But Todd would probably laugh. 'Ghosts. Seriously?'

Travis could talk to Sal though...However, he was avoiding him. For the whole day. Or morning. It was hard to avoid him in math class when he was right behind him. It wasn't like he hated Sal. He just...needed time alone. To think. 

The moment math was over and lunch began he stormed out of the classroom, grabbing his backpack, and went straight to the boy's bathroom. He walked past a group of boys before opening and walked into the big stall. He closed the door behind him and sighed, sinking to the ground.

Soon the boys left, however, there was another pair of softer footsteps that walked in.

"Travis?" Sal spoke. "I saw you...come in here. Can we talk? Please?"

"Please go away," Travis mumbled, curling his legs up on himself.

"I just wanna talk. If you want me to leave then that's fine..." 

Travis was silent for a moment before he sighed," Okay." Travis moved to unlock the stall door and let Sal in. He didn't know what it was about Sal. But being around him Travis felt at peace. God is this what love felt like?

"Hey..." Travis swallowed nervously looking at Sal.

"Hey," Sal said back, sitting next to Travis as he locked the door again. 

 "So about yesterday..." Sal began.

 "I'm sorry I just left. I shouldn't have done that. I just. It shocked me I guess?" He laughed. "And I'm sorry for avoiding you. I just don't know how to process this-what you said. " He really didn't. Megan was dead. She's been dead for years. He couldn't get that thought out of his head.

"I get it," Sal said softly. "It's a lot. To process I guess." He sighed. "I don't blame you."

Travis took a shakey breath, wiping his eyes. "She was my cousin. I- and now she's dead. I mean- are you sure you saw her? Could it of been someone else?" His heart raced. "Not even a ghost?"

Sal looked down at that, pulling his backpack off and opening it, "Megan said...She wanted you to visit whenever you could. And to show you this as proof." He said quietly, pulling out a golden gross. Similar to Travis's.

The teen's eyes widened as Sal handed Travis the cross necklace. 

This was hers. This was HER necklace. 

He knew it was hers because he had the same one.

He felt sick. 

Travis shoved the necklace back to Sal as he jumped to the toilet. He cringed into the sides and gagged. Puking up stomach acid. 

"Oh shit!" Sal's eyes widened and he scooted closer to Travis. "Shit, you okay? I have some water if you need it." He asked. 

Travis spit out some more acid and flushed the toilet, nodding. "Please." He whispered. His body shaking.

Sal moved back to his backpack, grabbing his water bottle. He needed a straw for it anyways so it would be fine for Travis to drink.

The teen lifted his head up, taking the water bottle, and opened it, slowly drinking it. He didn't want to seem greedy and drink all of it. He just drank what he needed.

"Thanks.." Travis sighed, handing the water back to Sal.

"Of course man," Sal said, putting it back in his backpack. "You okay?" 

Travis only shrugged at that. "I don't know." He mumbled, scooting back to the wall and leaned his head back. "I just- got confirmation she's dead. She never took that necklace off. So." He sniffed before dark thoughts clouded his mind again. "How did she die?" Travis spoke quietly. 

"Travis I don't think..." Sal began. "I- are you sure?"

"Tell me." He wiped snot from his nose. "I want- I need to know."

Sal was quiet for a moment before looking down. "She was drowned in her bathroom. By her father. Luke." Sal said quietly. 

"By Luke..?" 

"Yeah." 

"Fuck-" Travis covered his mouth. "Im gonna puke again." He groaned as his stomach twisted inside him. "What about Stacy." He asked after his stomach had calmed down. Guess he didn't puke.

"You good?" Sal asked.

Travis only nodded, so Sal continued. "She...was killed too. By Luke. Both their bodies were dumped in the lake." Sal mumbled. "How did you not realize what happened?"

"My father." He laughed quietly. "He told me that they moved. And I fucking believed him. He sent me to bible camp for the summer even so I wouldn't find out."

Travis could only imagine Sal's horrified face under his prosthetic. 

"I don't know if he wanted to protect me or not." Travis swallowed. "I hope he did."

Sal moved closer to Travis and hesitated to place his hand on Travis's hand. The two looked down at that before back up into each other's eyes.

Travis's face turned a bright red.

"We should go." Sal coughed, pulling his hand back. "You wanna get lunch? I can buy you some sandwiches."

Travis cringed. "You know the way they make bologna now fucking sucks." He laughed. 

Sal chuckled as well, although it seemed a bit forced. "Well, I've always hated...it anyways. Probably just a me thing. But that doesn't matter. I'll buy you whatever you want. How does that sound?" 

"Yeah." Travis chuckled. Lunch would be good actually. He didn't feel that great this morning. So maybe eating could help. He moved to stand up immediately feeling dizzy. The world spun around him and he stumbled backward. 

"Woah hey!" Sal frowned and quickly stood up, moving to hold his arms out. Travis immediately took a told of his arms as Sal helped him sit down again on the floor. He noticed how Travis's legs and body shook.

Travis shut his eyes and took a shaky breath. His head spun. Shit. Shit, everything was dizzy. 

"You okay?" Sal asked worriedly. 

Travis nodded. Okay. So that was another lie. He didn't want to tell Sal that for the past few days, he's been feeling extremely dizzy. That'll only make him worry more.

"Did you eat breakfast?" Sal frowned. 

Travis shook his head. "No...I just forget" He said quietly. He did forget. A lot now. That was probably why he was feeling this way. But his father was still pressing on about his appearance. It was like no matter what he did. It wasnt good enough for Kenneth.

"I have some crackers." Sal smiled softly. "They always help me on an empty stomach."

"No orange?" Travis cracked a smile.

"Hah hah. But no. That's reversed for Sundays when I see you at church." He laughed, opening his backpack up, and pulled out some crackers that were tied together by a clip. "Here." 

Travis took the crackers and opened the bag starting to eat. "You shouldn't have to do this." He grumbled.

"It's fine." He shrugged. "I don't mind being with you." Sal hummed.

Travis felt like he was going to scream. So he crammed down another cracker. "My father was best friends with Luke." He said after a moment "Then one day apparently he didn't want me around him anymore. If Luke.. as you said killed his family. My Father covered it up." Tears filled his eyes. "I wanna speak to Megan." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Please, Sal." He begged. "If- What if something happened to my mom?" Travis whispered. "I- what if she's dead? What if- She was killed and my father covered it up?" 

Sal was silent, looking away. "Alright." Sal sighed. "Alright. We can head over to my place after school...?"

"That works." Travis smiled. "My dad will be home around 4 so we may be pushung it, But I want to see her....and thank you. By the way. You don't...have to come after me every time some shit happens." 

"Well, I care for you."

Travis's face immediately turned red again and he looked away. God, he was a blushing mess. "You should probably eat lunch," Travis said laughing. 

"We'll I'll eat here." He shrugged. "Let me know if you want anything else to eat" Sal replied, pulling some pre-cut apple slices from a container. "I don't mind at all." 

Soon the school day ended, Larry, Todd, Sal, and Travis began the walk home in silence. Sal said bye to Todd and Larry once they reached their specific floors, before going up to his floor with Travis. 

"I'll be out in a sec," Sal said to Travis before he opened his apartment door. A moment later he came out with a gear-boy...but..different?

"What's that?" Travis asked.

"Super-Gearboy. It helps uh summon spirits." 

"Huh." That was interesting. "So you've really seen multiple ghosts?"

"Yeah." Sal chuckled. "This apparent complex has...A dark history." Sal shuddered.

Travis frowned. Dark history? How can an apartment's have dark history? Well, there was thatn murder here a few years ago...As well as Mrs Packerson living here and dying. But those were consequences...right?

"You ready?" Sal asked

"Yeah." Travis nodded. He wasn't ready at all. 

Soon the two made it to the fifth floor, walking into the open apartment and to the bathroom. Sal pressed a button on the gear-boy as green light sparked from it. Travis watched in horror as flesh and bones rose from the ground, forming a child. Megan. "Holy shit." His eyes widened, taking a step back.

Megan looked over at that, her eyes widening "Travis!!" Megan squealed, jumping up and down in the tub and flapping her hands. "You're here!! You're here!!" 

"M-Megan?" Travis laughed weakly, seeing the girl in flesh. Well.

Kinda?

He couldn't believe it. He didn't know if he wanted to cry or laugh. She was here. She was dead. And she was a ghost.

"Did you get my necklace? I don't like being without it...But I wanted Sal to give it to you." Megan smiled, still flapping her hands happily. 

"Oh! Speaking of that" Sal set his backpack on the ground, pulling her necklace out again, and set it over the hanger in the tub.

Megan only smiled and giggled. "Thank you SallyFace!" 

"Course Meg." He hummed. "I'll leave you two alone. If you need anything I'll be in the hallway. Okay?" He smiled, looking at Travis who still didn't look away from Megan. "Okay?"

The teen only nodded, hearing the door open and close.

"I'm so glad you're here Travis." She smiled but frowned when she noticed Travis's shakey legs.

"You look sick." She frowned. "Is everything alright? You can sit if you want...Ive gotten really sick before and it is not fun at all." 

"Im...ok Megan. I'm sorry it's just- hard to wrap my head around..?" Travis cringed. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, slowly moving to sit in the tub next to Megan. She was right he was shaking. Not out of fear, however. He wasnt scared she was a ghost, rather then the fact he was talking to her.

She slowly sat down as well. "I get that." She smiled. "Sal and Larry were pretty shocked to see a ghost the first time as well!" Megan giggled. 

"It's not my first" He mumbled, looking at Megan. "I- mean you're not the first...Ghost I saw. I don't think."

Megan frowned at that. "You've seen ghosts before?" 

He nodded. "I think it was a ghost? I don't know. I just keep seeing it in my dreams and shit." Travis cursed because pausing. "Sorry. I know you don't like curses." Travis cracked a smile.

"... it's okay." Megan hummed. "Ive seen a ghost before as well. But hes scary. Sal and Larry helped ward him away! So I dont see him anymore!"

"That's good. Was he a mean ghost?"

"Mhm!" Megan nodded How old are you though?" She asked, changing the subject like she had a list of questions planned for Travis.

"Um..17. But I'm turning 18 in like three months." Travis replied. 

"April 26!" She grinned. "Your birthday!" 

Travis chuckled, looking at his cross and holding it. "Yeah." 18. He would be 18 in three months. An age he never thought he would see.

"Wow. I can't believe you'll be 18! That's amazing!" She grinned, flapping her hands again. "How's your mom?" She smiled. "My mommy really misses her. She sometimes says she can sense her around!" 

Travis's face faltered. "Oh- uh-" He looked away. "Megan I...She left. When I was eleven." He said quietly. "Haven't seen her since," Travis mumbled. "I'm sorry. To you and Stacy."

"She left?" Her eyes softened. "Why would she do that..? That's not like her at all." 

"I don't know," Travis mumbled. "And you're right. It's not like her. She...gave me her necklace the night she left." Travis blinked back tears. "I- I know it's a selfish thought. A sinful one but I just thought- If- you were ghosts then what if she's one?" He still couldn't get the idea out of his mind. What if she was dead? 

"I don't think she's dead Travis." Megan frowned, moving to place her hand on Travis's, however, it only passed through. Megan looked at that sadly. "I've missed you, Travis." She smiled softly. "I've missed you so much." 

"I've...missed you too Megan." Travis forced a smile out. "I'm glad we could talk." He sniffed, wiping his eyes. 

"I'm glad Sal found you!" She giggled. "He was a really good friend of mine!"

"Yeah. I'm glad I met Sal too." Travis smiled. "He's...done a lot for me. More than I deserve honestly." Sal talked to him, Invited him out, being his friend despite Travis being...so awful. And yet Sal still helped. He helped so much to find his dead cousin. 

"You should ask Sal out soon!" Megan chimed.

Travis froze. "What?"

"Sal! I know about love!" She paused. "Well kinda. I saw it on my mommy's face! You have the same look as Sal!" Megan smiled. "Ask him out!" 

Travis's face heated up. "Megan I don't- Im- Im- not-" oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck shit Megan knew she knew how did she know? 

"My mommy said that...even though..it was a sin in the bible.." She frowned trying to remember the words. "That it doesn't mean it was wrong. She said that, because of other passages. We should always love everyone. No matter what they did. Because we're Christians." Megan smiled. "So it basically cancels out! The book says it's wrong, however, it also says to love those who are wrong as well. And my mommy never saw it as horrible anyways." She smiled at Travis. "I know your daddy saw it as bad. But your mommy and my mommy didn't." 

Travis's lip quivered, and he quickly brushed away a tear. God. Why did that hit so hard? He could talk to his mom about these feelings...And she could hug him. And tell him it would be- fuck he was crying. 

"Oh no! Are you okay?" Megan gasped at her cousin's tears. 

"I'm fine-" He swallowed, forcing them back. "I'm fine." He sniffed. "My dads uh...I should get back. My dads gonna be home soon. I can't be late. " 

"Aw...alright." Megan frowned. Travis was pulling away. Something even as a kid he did often. Guess he still was doing that.

"It was- I'm glad we could talk Megan." He swallowed and stood up. "I wish it was longer..."

"Me too Travis!" Megan smiled. "Will you visit soon?"

Would he? 

"I'll try." He forced a smile out. "May...be a while though."

"That's alright!" Megan giggled. "Bye Travis!!" She smiled before disappearing back into the ground. 

Travis took a shakey breath at that before moving to walk out of the apartment. She was just gone again. Just like that.

"How was it?" Sal asked as Travis closed the door behind him. 

Travis wasn't sure how to answer that question. 

How was it?

Sure it was amazing seeing Megan again. His cousin. She was like a sister he never had. She didn't age a day even. But that made him ache. Travis held it together for her, but now that he left?

Travis's face quivered, as his legs shook again. "I don't know." He choked out. He wanted to cry. To sob and scream and  punch  something. He wanted to claw at his own skin until he was  raw  Why would God kill Megan? What did she do to deserve this? Why would he make Luke kill his own family? What drove him over the edge? 

"Travis...are you okay?" Sal asked worriedly, taking a step forward. 

Travis shook his head, taking a step back. "I should go." He needed to leave. He needed to get out of here. Already the walls felt like they were caving in. 

"Travis..." 

"Don't." He hissed out, tears already starting to drip down his cheeks. "I'll talk to you tomorrow-" Travis swallowed, moving past Sal. He really needed to go. 

"Travis, please- wait-"

Something snapped. "Stop!" He yelled, something just snapped inside him. He shot his head back at Sal. "Just- Stop! Stop feeling fucking pity for me every time!" Travis practically screamed, stepping closer to the teen as he took a step back. "My cousin is dead. I just saw her fucking ghost! Of course, I'm not going to be fine but just-Stop!" Travis yelled, his fists tightening. "I don't need you fucking-watching over me after every little thing!" Travis moved to hit his head and grip his hair, groaning. "Leave me the fuck alone for once! Can't you do that?!" Travis breathed out. He didn't mean it that harshly. He just needed time alone to deal with this. Maybe to pray. Or to scream. Or to shred his skin until he felt calm again. That seemed to work almost always. 

"Al-alright..." A soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Sal was looking away from him now. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed" He said, the teen's voice shaky. 

Travis was breathing heavily. He opened his mouth to speak again before he shut it. Shit. He swallowed and turned around, pressing the elevator in awkward silence. Sal's eyes were glossy. He saw them under the prosthetic. He made him cry. He could have just told him he didn't want to talk, but no. He screamed at Sal. 

Just like his father would have done. He would have screamed right at Travis. Maybe he deserved to suffer alone with this news.

"Just...call me. Please. If you need anything." Sal said, walking to Travis as he stepped into the elevator. 

Travis wiped his eyes, looking over at Sal. "Okay." He said as the doors finally closed, and the elevator began to move down. 

And that's when Travis finally broke.

Chapter Text

Tonight was not a good night. 

Nor day. 

He didn't go to school today. After Kenneth had caught him puking up breakfast in the bathroom, he surprisingly let him stay home. However, he wasn't able to just rest. Kenneth made sure to keep him busy all day. Whether that be from reading bible structures, chores, or getting his homework finally done. A part of him loved that. It was a distraction from his mind. From his thoughts. However, he couldn't help but feel himself slipping away. Like he was watching himself in a movie. That was happening more often than normal. At the Church, at school, and especially more at home to the point where the moment Kenneth started to scream at him, Travis was gone. 

However, despite all this, Travis wasn't able to stop thinking about the past two days. Learning there was a chance Megan was dead. Before learning she WAS. 

Sal told him she was murdered. Murdered by her own family. Her own father. He vividly remembered Luke. He was a kind man. A good and nice man. He was best friends with his father. Until he wasn't.

He'd seen her ghost. 

Her dead ghost.

And he was stupid enough to ask Kenneth about it. The two got into a screaming match, Kenneth slamming Travis on a wall, grabbing his upper arms just to scream at him more. He went on and on about how Travis was stupid, and how Kenneth only did it to protect Travis. Saying that it was his mother's idea to lie to Travis. Travis didn't know if that was true or not even. But if it was, it was still his father's idea to keep the lie going.

Kenneth only grew angrier at Travis's "refusal" to tell him how he found out. But the truth was Travis just couldn't seem to talk.

So, Kenneth did what he does best. 

He kicked him out for the night. Saying that Travis needs to learn to respect authority, and a night outside should teach him just that. It was a stupid reason. Travis didn't understand it, but it was better to not argue back. Kenneth even threatened to perform an exorcism on Travis if he continued to act this way.

Travis wanted to go to Sal's place. But after he yelled at him the teen worried that Sal hated him now. He should have hated him after Travis did that.

It was raining. And it was already way past dark. Most likely 8ish. Travis walked through the sidewalk, having nothing to keep himself dry as he only continued to drift further into his mind. He could still think, and stop and do whatever he wanted, however, everything felt like a dream. Maybe he was dreaming and he could just wake up whenever he wanted to.

He took a shaky breath and knocked on the door. Wait what? What door? Why was he here? Where was here? He remembered he was walking. Walking with a purpose to somewhere. But where again?

The door opened, and Neil gasped with wide eyes. "Travis?"

Ah. 

He remembered. 

Travis memorized Neils's address before flushing the paper the day he got it. He had walked all the way to it. Shit. How long has he been walking? 

"Hey, Neil." Travis laughed nervously. "I uh- kept that paper with your address? I just- can't go home. Or-" He sniffed. "I'm sorry this was so sudden. I couldn't call you. Can I come in?" He shook. 

"Oh of course come in, come in." Neil nodded, quickly letting Travis inside. "You're soaked...I can get some clothes for you." He said frowned. "Come, sit on the couch."

"Are you sure?" He swallowed, shaking. "I'll get it wet."

"Yes. It's just water. It'll dry. " 

Travis nodded, slowly walking to the couch as he sat down. He was still shaking. Badly. Unsure if that was from the cold or stress or both. He still felt weird. Like he was out of his body. But that was normal. It took a while to come back to his body. But it still felt weird. 

"-avis?" 

Travis looked to his left to see Neil standing with clothes in his hands. "Got the clothes. The bathroom is just left of me." 

Travis slowly stood up and walked over to Neil as he handed him the clothes. "We're about the same height. Tell me if these are too tight though." Neil offered and smiled.

"Thanks." He swallowed. 

"Course. Also, there's a towel in here as well" He smiled. "I'll make some soup for you."

"You don't need to."

"Course I do. You've been walking for probably over 30 minutes. I don't want you to get sick." Neil smiled.

Travis only nodded however as he walked into the bathroom, closed it, and locked it. 

He set the clothes on the counter and took a deep breath. Reciting a quick prayer for his own sanity. He knew he was sinning. There was so much he had done wrong in the past few days. And new fears clawed their way out of him. Praying  helped . Even if God never answered him back. 

He grabbed the towel and began to shake his head, drying his hair and face. Travis set the towel down, looked at himself in the mirror, and shuddered. He didn't look right. Travis frowned leaning closer. Was it even him he was looking at? He felt alienated. Like he was dead and an impostor was wearing his skin.

Travis swallowed looking down at the clothes. Enough looking at the mirror. It was only making things worse. He picked the shirt up, it was short-sleeved. That was the first thing he noticed...

Shit. 

He cringed setting it down again and unlocked the door, peaking out. 

"Neil?" Travis asked, holding the shirt in his arms. 

"Yeah?" He called from the kitchen before walking to Travis. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry, do you have a long sleeve shirt?" Travis asked embarrassed. He hated this. But he didn't want Neil to see his arms. Even if they were bandaged still, he knew even Neil would ask. His bandages would stand out.

"Oh. Do they not fit?" Neil asked worriedly. 

"No...No they do. I'm just..Im kinda cold? So I thought a long sleeve shirt could help. If that's okay."

Neil nodded sincerely. "Of course." He sighed, taking the shirt. "I'll get a long one."

"Thank you." He smiled weakly and closed the door again. 

A moment later Neil knocked again, handing Travis a blue and black shirt. "Are the pj pants okay?" 

"Yeah." Travis nodded and took the shirt. "I'll be out in a moment." The teen mumbled before locking the door.

Travis quickly changed, drying his body off with the towel before putting the new clothes on. Neil was right. They were a little big, but it was fine.

"They fit perfectly." Neil smiled from the kitchen as Travis stepped out of the bathroom. 

"Thanks." He looked at the couch, which had a towel placed on it. "Should I-?"

"Oh yeah." Neil nodded following his gaze. "I'll be there in a sec."

Travis moved to the couch and sat down, realizing that Neil was watching a movie when he came on, it now was on mute.

Neil soon set the soup on the table in front of Travis. Guess it was a second. "What happened? It's 9 pm on a school night." Neil said, moving to wrap a blanket around Travis who was still shaking. "Is everything okay?" He asked.

Travis sighed, looking down, and slowly took the bowl. He wasn't THAT hungry, he ate a bologna sandwich for lunch, but he was definitely cold. And he didn't want to upset Neil. "My father kicked me out for the night. We got into a fight." Travis finally admitted as he scooped some out with a spoon.

"A fight?"

"Mhm."

"What...was it about?" Neil asked worriedly. He wasn't blind. He saw Travis's bruised face. It looked a bit faded, but it still made him worry. As well as the fact as Travis asked for long sleeves. He didn't want to assume anything, but he worried. 

"It was my fault anyways. But I asked about...Ok so long story short, yesterday I just found out that my cousin is dead- was dead for years." Travis chuckled. "So..." Well what a way to start things off. 

Neil's eyes widened. "Holy shit. Im so sorry Travis." 

Travis took a shaky breath. "My parents kept it a secret from me...and said she moved..?" He swallowed. "That was another part of the fight." He said as he continued to sip on the soup.

"I don't know what to say. That's horrible." The man frowned. "Why would they keep that from you?" 

Travis sniffed. "I mean- I guess I could see it? But- I just wish my father told me y'know? It wasn't a good year for me. Especially after my mom left but I don't know. I would like to of known" He sipped again. "But they died. Th- they were killed, Neil." 

Travis began to sink into dark thoughts. God punished them. He had to. They were dead and died in a gruesome way. "And- and it just got me thinking- Stacy and Megan- both were fine with homosexuality." He swallowed. "They didn't see it as a sin and they were killed." Travis's hands shook. "Luke even! He wasn't as strict with it, just saw it as weird but not a sin and he killed himself after murdering his family!" Travis cried out. Was he going to die as well?

"Slow- slow down Travis. Breath. What are you on about?" Neil frowned as Travis continued to go into hysterics. He slowly took the half-empty bowl from him and set it on the table again. 

"My mom told me that if I was gay she wouldn't care. And now look at her. She left me- There's a chance she could be dead as well and I don't know what to do Neil." He cried. Travis didn't even know why he was thinking this. Maybe as a safeguard? A reason for this hellscape? It would explain why they died. 

"I'm just- what if that was a sign?" He asked Neil. "That God punished them because of it." Travis looked horrified. "My father said they deserved to die- and that was the only reason I could think of that they would do. It's the only sin.- I mean- it's not-?" He stammered, and his breathing quickened. "I don't want to die, Neil," Travis whispered. "Oh God-" He swallowed. "Am I going to die, Neil? I'm gay and everyone else has died and-"

"Hey, hey, hey," Neil said quietly, gently moving his hand to Travis's. "Can I hold your hand?" He asked.

Travis nodded through tears.

Neil moved again to hold his hand and squeezed gently. "Deep breaths." He said gently. "In for four..." 

Travis breathed in shakily.

"Hold for three" He released his squeeze on his hand ."Out for six." 

Neil and Travis repeated this process for a few minutes. Neil squeezed his hand to hold in, and let it go for Travis to breathe out until his breathing was normal. 

"Travis..they didn't die or leave because they didn't see being gay as a sin. And neither will you." He smiled weakly. "It was just a horrible thing to happen to people who didn't deserve it. You're not going to die."

Travis looked to Neil before looking away again, sniffing. "How do you stop feeling guilty about your feelings." He said softly. 

Neil sighed. "You don't. You never stop feeling guilty. There's always a small part of you. Who fears you betrayed God."

Travis turned to Neil. "You really do understand don't you?"

Neil chuckled and nodded. "My family was Christian. And I was Gay." He sighed. "The moment I turned 18 they kicked me out of the house and left town. Didn't turn back for anything. And Todd was right there for me the whole time. He and his parents took me in until I could get back on my feet for a job and apartment." Neil smiled softly. "But I still felt guilty sometimes. I thought this was karma for me being gay. I felt ashamed of myself and I wanted to hurt myself because of it."

Travis looked down, gritting his teeth. "I prayed to God nightly for him to cure me. I felt so- I feel wrong still. Despite all of it" 

Neil sighed. "I get that. You feel like he betrayed you right? That you did something wrong to cause this. That he left you to rot and suffer on your own. Why give someone these feelings if the bible says its wrong?"

Travis nodded slowly. "Exactly- I- I mean, I'm the chosen one. The Lord chose me. But at the same time, he's never answered my prayers and just shoves it in my face about me liking Sal." Travis blurted out, not realizing he said Sal's name.

"Chose you?" He raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?" Neil asked, not minding that Travis had a crush on Sal. That part was obvious, but more concerned about the whole..chosen part.

"I had a dream of him. And my father-" Travis's smile dropped. He still had phantom pains of that night. The scars were just starting to heal. "My father says I'm not worthy and didn't deserve to be chosen." 

Neil's brow furrowed at that. That was...strange. "Well, I'm not your father. I don't know about that whole, chosen one stuff, but don't listen to him. You are worthy of God's love okay? I thought I wouldn't make it to 20. But look at me now/" He smiled. "You may never stop feeling guilty, but God still does love you Travis." 

"But God hates me." Travis sniffed.  "No matter how much I pray." He whispered. "He never answers me. No matter what I do to myself to get his attention he doesn't help me or let me know that he does love me."

Neil was about to say something, but Travis spoke again. 

"I think I'm depressed Neil." Travis's lip quivered as he forced a smile out.

Oh.

That was sudden.

"Yeah?" Neil looked at Travis. 

Travis just nodded. "It's just- some days it feels like I don't even exist and it's just so hard to even get up. But...we..don't believe in mental illness stuff. So I...don't know. Father says that it's just an excuse to be lazy." Travis really was exhausted. He hardly slept last night as well. There was so much going on he just wanted to scream. Sal, his father, his mother, His conflicted thoughts about God, and now Megan? It was just so much for his brain to process. It felt like sometimes he just wanted to sleep and not deal with the outside world.

It wasn't like he wanted to die.

He just didn't want to deal with everything. Maybe that's why it was comforting in a sense to just lay back in his mind and not be in control. To just fail school, to push people away, to make himself bleed just to feel at peace. Travis still didn't see himself making it to 18. If that was what depression was then...shit he really was depressed. 

"I think you're depressed as well Travis," Neil said sadly. "Even if you don't believe in that stuff." 

"I'm just...so tired." Travis looked up to Neil. "I don't even know why I am telling you this?" He laughed as tears dripped down his cheeks. "Two months ago I wouldn't have even wanted to talk to you at all." He laughed, wiping his eyes.

Neil was heartbroken. He was a child still. He was 17. He shouldn't have to go through this. He shouldn't deal with this. Travis shouldn't be terrified for his life every day. He shouldn't even be depressed. He should be worrying about colleges and school crushes! But that wouldn't even be a reality for Travis. Would it?

"When does school start again for you?" Neil asked after a moment. 

"...Like 7:45? Why?" Travis sniffed.

Neil nodded. "I have a class tomorrow at 9:30, so I can drive you to school. You can probably sleep in a bit as well?" 

Travis nodded slowly, wiping his eyes again. "What. For me to go to bed at 10 or something?" He chuckled. 

Neil smiled and shook his head. "I mean if you want,  But the drive is only like 7 minutes away. Not long at all. You could probably sleep in."

Travis was quiet. "I guess. Thanks" He said softly. Travis mumbled, being honest. Travis hardly got sleep anyways, so he doubted tonight would be any different. "I'm sorry about the uh soup." He looked at the table. "I didn't finish it."

"That's fine." Neil smiled. What do you want for breakfast though?" He asked. 

"Uh..." He cringed. "I normally just have bread?" Travis frowned. He didn't want to tell him how he hardly ever ate breakfast now.

"Perfect! I can make some french toast if you want?"

"Sure..?" Travis frowned. Why was Neil doing this? Being so nice. Why was everyone he went around always nice to him?

"I have makeup as well," Neil said quietly, looking at Travis. "For tomorrow if you wanted to cover that bruise it up." He said, guesting to his cheek. "It looks pretty faded now. But just in case."

Travis's eyes widened and he subconsciously moved his hand up to cover his cheek. His heart sank as he forced a smile out. "Really?" He asked weakly. 

"Yeah." He smiled sadly "It may not be the exact shade, a little darker but I can blend it out." Neil smiled.

"Thank you..." 

"The offer still stands y'know," Neil said quietly. "You can move in with us. Our lease is up this summer and we're moving in like a week or two in June." Neil wanted Travis to move him. He wanted it. Travis deserved to be in a home where he wasn't terrified for his life."

He shook his head. "I'm still 17. Like you said...besides. My father would say you kidnapped me." Travis laughed sadly. "He wants me to run the church. And he will do anything in his power to make sure I do."

"Do you want to run it?" Neil asked.

Travis thought for a moment. 

He didn't know.

"I should head to bed," Travis said changing the subject and moving to stand up. 

Neil stood up as well. "Oh. Yeah of course. Did you want to sleep in my room?" He asked.

Travis's eyes widened. "What? No- I couldn't. You live here."

Neil chuckled and shook his head. "I'll sleep on the couch. It's fine. Plus you need the sleep and my bed is super soft and comfortable."

"Neil I really don't mind sleeping on the c-"

"I'll sleep on the couch. You're my guest. No buts about it." Neil held his hand up and shook his head. 

"You seriously didn't have to do this." Travis swallowed.

"I insist." He said. "Sleep on my bed. It's okay. You're my guest" 

Travis nodded slowly. "Okay." He said, deciding not to protest further. 

Much to Travis's dismay, the bed was really comfortable. He still found himself struggling to sleep, but however only this time sleep came to him like a lullaby. Not like a nightmare. 

Around 11 pm, an hour after Travis had fallen asleep and Neil finished washing the dishes and putting Travis's clothes in the washer and dryer, he peeked into the room, seeing Travis slumped on top of the bed, fast asleep. He chuckled and shook his head, moving to grab the blanket and pulled it over Travis. He needed the sleep. It was good. Nobody, child or adult should have eyebags as heavy as Travis's. He did worry a lot about him. Travis still definitely had internal conflicts dealing with him being gay, and it just hurt Neil to hear. Travis was terrified of people he cared about getting hurt in fear of some stupid line from the bible. He was terrified of himself as well. He was now more worried for Travis. After the teen confessed he was most likely depressed. Neil worried more. But all he could do is hope Travis opened up to him more.

Hearing that Travis learned his own family was murdered and that news was hidden from him for years. Blaming the fact they weren't homophobic for their deaths? He shouldn't be thinking that. No one should be thinking about it.  A part of Neil saw himself in Travis. Both scared boys, afraid of what could happen if their family's found out. It hurt. A lot. Neil wished he could do more for Travis. But if all he could do for now was offer a place and support, then that was fine as well.  Neil walked out of the room, looking at Travis one last time before closing the door behind him.

Chapter Text

A week had gone by. Valentine's day was just around the corner. Travis still was hesitant to talk to Sal. He'd had seen him with the gang a few times the week, talking and laughing together. However, his eyes always seemed to follow Travis as he walked by. Things were pretty intense at home, but Travis did what he did best. Shoved it down. His nightmares about Megan however couldn't be shoved down. Church wasn't that bad though. There was no tangent about how homosexuals deserved to die. Just more things about how they owed everything to God and how the day of reckoning was coming soon. 

It was now February 10th. Funny enough how Valentine's day rolled around on a Sunday. Which meant that Kenneth would probably say that the only love should be for God.

Travis still remembered Neil's conversation. He couldn't forget it. It was comforting as well. To know that someone else was going through the same thing Travis was. Neil kept his word even. He did even more than his word. When Travis woke up the next day he found that Neil had gone to the store, buying Travis some concealer in his shade. He didn't have to do it. But he did. Neil didn't even ask how he got that bruise. Travis didn't deserve someone to care for him. But they always did. Everyone always cared for him. 

Travis walked through school silently, going through the morning quickly. In math, oddly enough Sal wasn't there. It made him worry for a moment, before brushing the fear away. Once lunch rolled around Travis moved to stand up, leaving the classroom, and immediately walked to the bathroom. However, it wasn't empty. A few boys were in there, laughing and smoking cigarettes. 

He cringed seeing the boys and left quickly. Okay then. No bathroom for lunch today. That would be fine. Travis still wanted to eat lunch, however. He packed a bologna sandwich. It tasted amazing as ever. Travis looked around the school as he walked, noticing the window to the courtyard, and quickly opened the door. Travis froze, seeing Sal under the tree as well. His prosthetic was still on however one strap was unbuckled.

Shit .

Sal turned to the door. "Guess we both had the same idea huh?" Sal chuckled sadly. "Those boys have been in there since third period. I had a migraine earlier this morning and the lunch room was...I didn't want to even try." 

Travis swallowed, not knowing what to say next. "Hey." He said after a moment, standing in place.

"Hey yourself." Sal chuckled sadly. "It's been a while hasn't it?"

"I mean it's only been a week-" Travis stopped and looked away. "I missed you at church." 

"Yeah." Sal took a shakey breath. "I didn't know if you wanted me there or not. "

"I'm really sorry for yelling at you." He said, slowly moving to sit down next to Sal. 

"Travis im not mad," Sal said quietly, moving to scoot closer to Travis. "I'm the one who should apologize. You clearly didn't want to talk and wanted to leave, and I kept pushing. And I'm really sorry." 

He looked at Sal with wide eyes. He was apologizing? Why? Sal didn't do anything wrong. "I shouldn't have yelled though."

Sal shrugged. "I mean I don't blame you. It was a lot of...information at once...How are you doing...by the way?"

He looked to Sal, his blue eye sparkling. "Still...a lot to process I guess?" He forced a smile out. "Im doing a bit better I think. It still hurts to know how she died. And that my father lied. To be honest I haven't gotten that much sleep... I keep having dreams about how she died. Nightmares I guess."

Sal nodded slowly. "Yeah. I get that." He sighed, pulling an apple out from his lunch bag, and handed it to Travis. "Apple?" He asked. Sal saw his lunch bag, but still didn't want Travis eating bologna. Especially if Kenneth was making it the same way

Travis took it slowly, taking a shaky breath. "There's a lot of things my father is hiding from me. Isn't there?" He mumbled, taking a bite. 

Sal froze. He didn't want Travis more to learn about the cult. Especially because Kenneth was the leader. He was the man that killed his mom. That destroyed Sal's life. That could possibly force Travis into the cult.

His head started to hurt as his ears rang.

"Sal?" Travis spoke out again frowning. "Hey, you're kinda worrying me. Is everything okay?" Travis asked, moving to place his hand on Sals.

"Shit-" Sal cursed, shaking his head, the ringing only becoming worse. 

"Are you having an episode? I remember you talking about them a while ago." 

"I'm fine-" Sal winced, squeezing his eyes before the world turned a blinding white. 

Sal stood in a white space. The same phantom head he's seen floating in the air.

"You again." Sal frowned. "Okay. I'm here now for some reason. What do you want?" 

The phantom started to speak, this time however Sal could understand it a bit better.

"B_ l_fer_c _ou'r_ da_ge_ously es_lc to t__ h_urt. A_e yo_ su__ uoy _ant _o f_n_ out a_ou_ it?" It spoke.

"I do. Especially if Travis may be in danger. If he has something to do with the cult please tell me. I know he could be a host to red eyes. How do I stop that?"

"__ll _he d_g_." 

"What?" Sal frowned. "What does that mean? Do you mean the Devours of God? Do I need to kill them to save Travis?"

"_h_ d_ihc of the a__mina_ion will la_ver _he _ru_h. On_y n_eht will _hree su_mmers will _sap. The emit erehw _he be_liever _ees t_e seil t_at _ie ht_eneb. When _he d_g has no _head. Eht _orld will _hen be safe. "

"What the fuck does any of that mean," Sal asked, taking a step forward. "Why can't you tell me things that make sense?

"Yo_ wi__ s_e soon." 

The world started to glitch around him, and a painful headache overtook Sal again before darkness spread over. Sal groaned and slowly opened his eyes. The world a green blur.

"Oh thank God you're okay." Travis frowned from above. "Are you okay? You just passed out and started to mumble stuff about dogs."

 Sal blinked a few times and moved his head, slowly realizing he was laying on Travis's lap. Being thankful for the prosthetic to hide his blushing face, Sal moved to sit up. 

"I'm fine- Sorry I did not mean to pass out on you." Sal laughed nervously. 

It was Travis's turn to grow red. "Oh I didn't- I don't mind. It was okay- Not that you passing out is okay! Just- I didn't want you sleeping on the grass!" Travis laughed looking away, his face still a bright red as he ran his hand on his pants. 

Sal smiled softly. "Thank you still for being here with me." 

"Oh, its-no worries. Do you need to go to the nurse?" Travis asked. "You did like pass out..." He said, the blush still on his face.

Sal shook his head. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" 

"Mhm." Sal nodded, taking a deep breath. "Just probably...need to take a nap or something when I get home."

"Does that happen often?" Travis spoke quietly. He knew of Sal's episodes from seeing some in the past even, but Travis wanted to know how often they happened. 

"Ehh..?" Sal shrugged. "Depends I guess." He mumbled. 

Travis took a breath and looked up at Sal. "I just want you to be okay."

"Me too. I care a lot about you, Travis." Sal smiled, moving to gently hold Travis's hand.

Travis sucked a breath in, looking down at the hand. He swallowed before looking back up at Sal. "I wouldn't...really mind seeing your face again by the way," Travis said softly. 

Sal smiled and nodded. "Well, that can be arranged next time you come for a sleep over yeah?"

"Yeah." Travis smiled, the two staying close to each other as they finished lunch.

"Sal dude what's up!" Larry smiled as Sal entered his room. he had to take a test after school, so he wasn't able to walk home with Sal, Chug, and Todd. However, the moment he got back, Lisa had told him that Sal called, asking to come over. Larry agreed. 

"Thank fuck you're back holy shit Im having a huge crisis oh my God-" Sal walked to his friend with wide eyes. 

"Woah! Sally dude chill!" He snorted. "Chillout! Everything okay?"

"I can't chill out!" Sal hissed. "Something happened and like- Yeah something happened a crush I think someone I like."

Larry raised an eyebrow at that. "It feels like you're gonna tell me you like Travis or something."Larry joked, looking to Sal, only to see his silent face. 

"Right?"

Sal remained quiet as he walked to the bean bag, sitting down. Larry's eyes widened 

"OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE TRAVIS!?!?" 

"SH- SH!" Sal panicked, waving his hands in front of him. "Okay, MAYBE I do okay but don't say it so loud!"

Larry snickered. "I can't believe you like fucking Travis. How- why- Why!?" 

Sal groaned, covering his prosthetic with his hands. "I don't know! I just started to get flustered around him a week or so ago and it's just been getting worse!" Sal groaned. "I don't even know if he likes me."

Larry was now the one to scoff. "Seriously you've seen Travis. Cmon."

"Okay fine I know he's gay. But that doesn't mean he automatically likes me. I mean who would." Sal sighed.

Larry frowned, scooting closer to Sal. "Well, I know a lot of people who like you. And besides. You're SallyFace! The S-man! Sal dog-...Salio." Larry joked.

"You done?" Sal snickered as Larry continued with the nicknames.

"Salmon, Sally man- Shit- uh-"

Sal laughed "okay okay point taken. I just...I still worry he may not like me. Many people have mocked or laughed at me, and just faked being friends or liking me as a joke. In middle school some a lot of people bullied me. It was really bad. People just got close to me to try to take my prosthetic off. I know Travis wouldnt do that but...What if he doesn't like me? Or laughs at me... I don't want to ruin what we have." Sal frowned, pulling his legs to his chest.

Larry frowned. The thought of kids pranking Sal for no other reason than to bully him hurt, but seeing Sal talking about Travis made Larry realize something. 

"You really like him don't you?" Larry asked for a moment.

"I do." Sal smiled. "He just- makes me- so happy Larry. I get butterflies in my stomach. He's like the world to me."

"Well take my advice-"

"Oh yikes." 

Sal was met with a pillow hitting his face. "Ow!" He snorted at Larry.

"I can make good advice!" Larry laughed. 

"Okay okay-" Sal chuckled. "Advice me." 

"One. I still think he's a prick. So if he does anything to you I will kill him. But onto the actual help. Don't tell him you like him yet. Just keep doing what you're doing. And if he's comfortable maybe hold his hand more, lean on him, and whatnot. Invite him out more." 

"....are you sure you're not some bachelor man or something?" Sal asked.

Larry shrugged. "If I was I would definitely steal Travis from you." He laughed, dramatically shaking his head.

"I hate you!" Sal laughed, wheezing a bit.

"Oh, you love me. I'm the laddies and man-man. 

"Hate you!" 

Night fell later that day. Travis doing the same routine as always. Work on homework, do some chores, eat dinner- Huh. Tonight's dinner tasted a bit different. Maybe Kenneth bought a different type of beef? Or maybe Travis messed it up somehow, he did leave it unattended for a minute to use the bathroom. Maybe he screwed it up. Doesn't matter. Kenneth seemed to not care. And he just went to the for the first time in weeks. Travis didn't want to upset him. He finished eating it quietly and moved to stand up, taking both their plates to the kitchen and started to wash them. 

Over the next few minutes, Travis started to grow more tired. His eyes started to try to shut and his movements slowed, he moved to place the glass in the drawer, almost dropping it.

"Shit." He cursed, finishing the dishes, and dried his eyes. The feeling of exhaustion only came back stronger, pushing on his eyes and body. He stumbled around, leaning on the wall.

"Everything okay Travis?" Kenneth asked, not looking up from his paper. 

"Father- Something- something doesn't feel right," Travis whispered as his words slurred together.

"You're fine Travis. Quit making a big deal ou...-" 

 Before Kenneth could even finish, Travis fell to the ground. His vision turned black just as he saw Kenneth stand up and walk over to Travis

Kenneth placed a knocked-out Travis on a slab in the Phelps temple. It was now close to 7 at night, but knowing what would happen, Travis would need all the sleep he could get. The temple was right under the church, so it wasn't suspicious to anyone to see the preacher driving at night to the building.

Soon Travis will come on his own terms, however. And Kenneth wouldn't have to drug him, But for now, this would all feel like a dream to Travis, which may be for the better. A large pentagram was drawn on the floor below them, and a pile of bones was in the corner. Kenneth wore the silver dog mask he kept hidden in a safe at the church, despite people already knowing he was Kenneth, there was always a chance of a spy. He would not let the same mistake happen again. 

Two members carefully wrapped the padded cuffs on Travis's wrists as the teen slept, just in case anything were to go wrong in the ritual. Both were fully aware of the bandaged arms peeking under his sleeves but chose against it. Kenneth seemed to have not noticed it yet. Maybe it was for the better he hasn't seen.

"Are you sure he'll be prepared for this?" A voice asked to Kenneth. The member seemed worried for the teen, despite only seeing him for 50 minutes each day throughout the week.

"He handled ghost possessions in the past before with shadows inside him. I'm sure this one shouldn't be any different." Kenneth grumbled, brushing hair out of his son's face. "If he is to join the cult in two months on his birthday then he needs to have a strong mind. Getting his body and mind accustomed to this ritual will be beneficial in the end."

The members nodded in agreement.

"And. If anything were to happen to me. Old age or killed, Travis would be taking over. He needs to be prepared for anything. He is the future of us and will continue to help spread darkness until the world is covered. Only then will the false God crumble."

Travis groaned quietly, his eyes opening for a moment before he went limp again.

"He's waking up." One member spoke. "That was quicker than normal sir." 

Kenneth's eyes narrowed, looking to Travis as his son slowly stirred. "It appears so. He may be growing immune to the doses. I'll raise it for next time." Kenneth spoke walking to the podium "Let us begin quickly." He spoke, looking down at the book he used to perform rituals. "May our sight perice the hevans." 

"And our reach be infinite and everlasting." The other members spoke in unison before the ritual began. 

Chapter Text

Travis couldn't move. No matter what he did, he couldn't move. His arms and legs were restrained, and shadows danced around him. He didn't know where he was. Some sort of temple. It felt odd but this place felt familiar for some reason to him. Like he's been here before. Travis could have sworn he heard his father's voice, but whenever he opened his eyes all he saw was a wolf in front of him. A wolf that reached its hand out to him.

Travis pulled on the restraints again but it was no use. Soon shadows danced around him again. Ringing filled his ears as there was chanting echoing all behind him, and a sinister feeling crept inside him. A bloodied hand slowly came into view from the shadows above him, that hand belonging to a bloodied man. Travis tried to let a scream out but he couldn't. All he could do was watch as it got closer and closer to him, before placing its hand on Travis's face and felt as it sunk beneath his eyes, nose, and mouth. Like it was being sucked inside him.

He felt as it twisted his limbs, this creature swarming Travis as all he could do is sink deeper and deeper into his own mind. Like his body wasn't his own- 

"Travis!" A voice rang out.

Travis's eyes snapped open as his head jerked up. "Wh-" he breathed out heavily, looking around. He was in the lunch room. Not the temple. He wasn't there. There were too many bright lights here, however. Too many people talking. "What-?" He gasped out. He was breathing heavily, still not processing what had just happened. 

"Is princess here finally awake?" He heard Larry tease. "Guess my shoulder really is that comfy." But instead of snapping back Travis continued to look around him disoriented. His head was ringing. And everything was screaming at him.

Soon soft chuckles faded, and the group started to worry."Is everything okay?" Chug asked, setting in sandwich down. "You look pale."

Travis didn't answer, moving to look down at his hands, seeing how they violently shook. He was sweating as well. It was just too much. Everything was too much. God and that dream. That horrible horrible dream. Travis couldn't move. And it terrified him. It felt so real as well. Why did his dreams feel  so  real?

"Travis." Sal's voice was clear as the day. Travis moved to look up at that with wide eyes.

"Hey. Breathe. Okay? It was only a nightmare. You're okay" Sal spoke calmly. He was seated next to Travis, however, spoke to him calmly and gently. 

Travis was about to ask how Sal knew he had one, but then again it was Sal. He probably was an expert on nightmares. Travis took a deep breath, swallowing until he got it under control. 

"We can leave if you want," Sal spoke. "If the lunchroom is too much for you."

It was. But he didn't want to be a burden. The others were still eating. "It's- fine. I-I must have fallen asleep. Sorry." He grumbled, continuing to take deep breaths as his hands shook in Sal's grasp. Was he sweating? He felt like he was sweating.

"It's okay," Sal said softly. "You've been dozing off all morning as well. Especially in math. Is everything okay..?"

"Mhm." Travis closed his eyes, tensing up when he felt Sal gently hold his hand. Thank God they were close to the wall. No one could see. 

Well except God. He could still see them. But at this point, Travis didn't mind.

"You look like shit," Ashley spoke up after a moment. "Like- really horrible."

Travis's eye bags were worse than ever before. His hair was quickly combed back but looked ruffled now, and the same for his clothes. He wore a magenta sweater with jeans. His left eye as well seemed clouded a bit. But just...looking at Travis he looked off. Like his energy and life were drained from him. "Feel like shit too." Travis grumbled, "I'm just tired I guess."

"What happened?" Sal asked worriedly. 

"I don't know." Travis sighed, shaking his head. "Everything is fuzzy from yesterday."

"Fuzzy?" Now, Todd was the confused one. 

Travis nodded. "Last thing I remember is cleaning dishes, I felt dizzy, and then boom I'm waking up in my bed this morning with a horrible headache and my whole body feeling like death." He groaned. "It's like- I don't know. Worse than being sick."

"Did you tell your dad?" Todd asked.

Travis nodded. "I did. He just said I was tired and should have gone to bed earlier. At least he drove me here I guess." Travis sighed.

"Did you tell him about not remembering anything from last night?" Ashley asked 

"I did," Travis grumbled. "He didn't care. Or believe me. He said I was fine yesterday " Travis huffed.

"...But if you're sleeping in school and not remembering things from yesterday. That is pretty bad Travis." Todd said. 

"My father will just ignore me if I ask again. " Travis mumbled, realizing he was still holding into Sal's hand and let go, feeling a cough rise to his throat. Travis covered his mouth with his arm and coughed, hacking and almost gagging.

"You should go to the hospital man." Larry frowned. "That does not sound good. I don't want to get sick as well." 

Travis shook his head, and after a breath, he spoke "It's sinful." He said after coughing again. 

"Sinful?" Maple frowned. "How is a hospital...sinful?

He nodded, lowering his arm. "I swore I told you this before. It interferes with God." Travis explained. "If I am sick then that was God's purpose. Me going to the hospital interferes with that." Travis learned this from a young age. He hardly ever went to the doctor anymore. Of course oddly enough if he did have to go. It was always a doctor that he's seen in church before. 

"That's bullshit." Larry scoffed. "If you're sick you should be able to go to the hospital. What if you're like- dying or something."

"I'm fine," Travis grumbled. "Just tired." Suddenly a kid was screaming before laughing, making Travis groan and lay his head on the table. Why wouldn't they just shut up? Everyone needed to shut up. 

"Okay yeah, that's it c'mon," Sal said suddenly standing up.

"Hu...huh?" Travis tilted his head up to Sal.

"Let's get out of here. It's loud here and you're clearly not having a good time. I don't want you to have a migraine." 

"But you're eating." Travis frowned. 

"I can eat later. C'mon." Sal held his hand out. Travis lifted his head fully up, looking at the hand, and slowly took it, standing up fully before letting it go. It felt like there was a shift between Sal and him, and Travis didn't know what. Was Sal embarrassed? Did he find out Travis liked him and was mocking him? No. No. Sal wouldn't do that. He would never do that. He was a kind and sweet person. Even if he did find out Travis liked him he wouldn't mock him. So why was it so hard to tell him? Maybe out of fear? Out of rejection? 

"Travis hey. You with me?" Sal spoke out suddenly. 

Travis blinked for a moment looking at Sal. "What?" His head was ringing and everything felt dizzy again. God, he wanted to lie down. "Where are we...?"

"The bathroom....you're really out of it." Sal frowned, sitting down with Travis. The teen looked like he was going to puke. Or pass out. Or both. Whatever happened last night messed him up. "You weren't even answering me the walk here." 

Travis sighed. "Sorry. I guess. I don't know. I'm just tired..." He grumbled looking over to Sal slowly. 

"You really may need to go to the hospital Travis." He said. "I know you think it's sinful but you really don't look good."

"I know." Travis groaned, leaning his head back on the wall when in fact bile rose to his throat. He covered his mouth and quickly stood up, pushing a stall door open, and fell to the ground again, throwing up in the toilet. 

Sal immediately moved to follow him, sitting next to Travis and rubbed his back soothingly. "That's it." He said gently. "Get it all out man." He noticed how Travis tensed up but didn't do anything to pull back. That was odd. It was also odd when Sal felt bumps on his back. Like raised marks. Which concerned him even more. 

Travis gagged again, puking up his sandwich, stomach acid as well as something else...he swallowed, looking at the tar substance he just threw up. That wasn't supposed to be there. That was just like the dream he had a while ago. But why was it there? He wiped his mouth with his arm, looking down at it horrified. There it was again. The black tar.

Maybe you deserve this. You deserve to suffer.

The voice rang insde Travis's head. He tried to push it away, but the words lingered. Did he deserve this? This feeling of not feeling real? Throwing up substances that were not human at all? Maybe he did. Maybe God was answering him in ways Travis never could understand. And this was the way.

Sal seemed to notice as well, gently taking his shaking hand, he glanced to the toilet frowning. That was not normal. Not normal at all. It reminded him of his own dreams. 

As well as  that  dream.

Travis's blood was a black tar. Just like this.

"Travis hey. Hey, look at me."Sal said softly. When Travis still didn't move he took a chance, gently placing a hand on his cheek, and turned his head away from the toilet.

Travis easily moved it, his eyes wide with horror. "What's happening to me." He whispered out, making no attempt to move or flinch away from Sal. Sal was gentle with him. He had rough hands, but they were kind and loving. Unlike his fathers. 

"I...I don't know." Sal frowned. "I really don't Travis." He knew. Sal hated lying to Travis. But he had a feeling that Kenneth was to blame for this. That the cult did something.

"Is God punishing me?"

The way Travis asked that made Sal's heart break. He was terrified. Genuinely scared of whatever is happening was his fault. 

"Not at all." Sal frowned. "You didn't do anything wrong okay? You're probably just sick."

"But- The tar- that is not normal at all." He swallowed. "What if there's a demon in me- I- I what if I got possessed? And that's why I'm acting this way?" Travis asked, watching as Sal moved his hand from his cheek to his hands, clasping both of them together and squeezed them gently. 

Sal was about to shake the thought away from Travis until he thought about it for a moment. What if he  was  possessed by a demon? By a ghost even? Who to say this isn't a side effect of a possession? If he was going to be the host for Red Eyes.

Wait.

Megan's conversation. 

Was there a chance he could have been drugged again? He hardly remembered anything from yesterday. Woke up from a nightmare at lunch. He could have been drugged. Then a ritual could have been placed on him. Travis could have had gone through a satanic ritual. It would make sense. He was extremely out of it all morning, possibly from the drugs wearing off, as well as the aftermath of the possession. It was just like Megan had said.

"You don't remember anything from yesterday right?" Sal asked worriedly.

Travis shook his head. "Nothing." He remembered this happening before, a few months ago, but it was never this bad. Never this long before. And he never. Ever. Threw anything up.

"What was that nightmare about? The one you just had?" Sal asked his heart racing. Just more and more shit started to pile onto Travis. But it also proved to Sal even more that Kenneth was the leader. He had to tell the others. This could help them stop the cult, but this was Travis. This was his personal life. He didn't want to share personal information with his other friends. 

"What...has that anything to do with this?" Travis sniffed confusingly.

"Please. Travis."

Travis shifted uncomfortably, biting his tongue. "I don't wanna talk about it," Travis spoke after a moment. He really didn't want to talk about it. Just thinking made his skin crawl like something under him was still alive. 

"Please."

Travis sighed and nodded finally. "Okay..." He spoke. "I was being carried somewhere. The church I think?" Travis frowned. "No. No, it wasn't the church. It was a temple." He said softly. "I...then...Uh...Shadows held me down before a hand-" He used his own hand to gesture the movement "Moved to my face before digging claws into it- and seeping in me." Travis mumbled. "It's stupid I know." He laughed weakly. He wouldn't blame Sal for laughing. But this nightmare was an occurrence. Travis had another one, a similar one a while ago. But this feeling was worse than ever before. 

Sal's eyes widened in horror.

The temple. The fucking temple. That confirmed it. He was in the temple and got POSSESSED. He was possessed by something. "Travis-"

The bell rang, cutting Sal off.

Travis sighed hearing the bell and stood up, his feet wobbly. "We should go," Travis said quietly. "Thanks for helping me. Again." Travis mumbled. Travis took time out of Sal's day yet again to help his stupid self. Sal should hate him. Something was wrong with him as well. Yet again. He still thought this could be punishment for being gay, but held onto what Neil said. Maybe Sal was right. Maybe he was just sick! Sick and....seeing ghosts...and throwing up a black substance...

Sal sighed, nodding. He would tell Travis later. If even. He was involved with the cult and yet Sal had no idea how to tell him. "Are you free today after school?" He asked.

Travis shook his head. "No sorry. Honestly, I just want to rest more. Maybe tomorrow?"

Idiot. He wanted to spend time with you. You just have to be sick? You had to make God punish you? Sal hates you. Don't you get that Travis? He fucking hates you. You waste his time looking after someone pathetic as you. 

Travis ignored the ridiculing voice. It sounded like Kenneth sometimes. But for others it was himself. Maybe it was right. Maybe Sal did hate him. He made Sal miss lunch to take care of his sorry-ass However before he could speak, Sal spoke again

"Of course. Get all the sleep you need." He chuckled. "Or rest. My apartment is always open if you need to come by."

Travis forced a smile at that. Sal offered his place to him again. His apartment was like a safe haven for Travis. He loved it there. Even if Sal hated him, Travis would always go to the apartment if he could. The teen moved to walk out of the bathroom with Sal, however not even a second after stepping out. Someone slammed into Sal, making the boy hit a locker he laughed. "Fucking freak." The teen spat at Sal.

Anger suddenly boiled in Travis. His sickly feeling going away in the momment. He shoved the dude back hard, making the other stumble back. "Touch him again and I'll fucking kill you!" Travis snapped to the boys.

"Or what?" He laughed. "Protecting the freak? C'mon Phelps thought you were better than this! Or is he your boyfriend?" The boy giggled. "Are you a fairy dating Sal?"

Travis's fist tightened "I'll slit your throat and watch you bleed out. Thats what. He's my friend." Travis hissed. "Don't even think about looking in his direction again or I will kill you. Don't fucking test me bitch." 

The teen's smile faded. "...Fucking psycho." He grumbled before pushing past Travis. 

Travis scoffed, rolling his eyes before looking back to Sal. "You okay?" Travis asked, seeing Sal on the ground one hand holding his prosthetic.

 "Fuck fuck fuck-" Sal cursed. "Fuck-" 

"What? what is it?" Travis asked crouching down worried now.

"The strap is broken fuck-" Sal cursed. "I can't buckle them-" He said with wide eyes. The only thing stopping it from falling was his hand holding up.

Travis's brow furrowed as he looked around, seeing other kids walk past them. "C'mon-" Travis said, looking back to Sal holding his hand out. Sal took it slowly as Travis pulled Sal up. And then back into the bathroom, walking right back into the stall.

"Travis what are you doing-" Sal stammered confusingly.

"Fixing it. Take it off if you want. It won't look." Travis said, looking away and locked the stall ."I'll make sure no one else comes in. Unless- you want me to leave as well-"

Sal looked at him for a moment, before taking a breath. "No. It's okay. You can look. I don't mind..." He slowly lowered his hand that was holding his prosthetic in place before setting it down. "The buckle is broken." He mumbled, flipping it over to examine it. "It won't click into place. Both of them." 

Travis didn't want to stare. But he couldn't look away again. Seeing his face a second time made it even more beautiful. 

"Travis?" 

His voice snapped him out of his thoughts again, looking to Sal as his blush darkened.  Sal giggled at that, his own face blushing. "You gonna help or just stare at me uh?" He smiled. It was nice. Seeing someone not stare at him in horror or fear. Travis never did that. He was looking at him like he was just...someone. Someone he called beautiful before. Travis called him beautiful. He forgotten about that.

Travis immediately looked away. "Sorry sorry-" He stammered blushing harder. He pulled his backpack off, digging through it until he found what he was looking for. Tape.  "May I?" He asked, looking back to Sal.

Sal looked at the tape and then back to Travis nodding silently. He watched carefully as Travis scooted behind him before Sal placed it on his face again, putting full trust in the teen. Travis, using the tape buckled the first strap together, taping the two so they would stay, before repeating it again. 

"I don't know if the tape will last....but at least it can stay on." Travis smiled pulling away. "It does stay on right?"

Sal tested it out, moving his head from side to side, and shaking it a bit. "Yeah, it works." He turned to Travis, smiling under his prosthetic. "Thank you." 

"Yeah- Don't mention it." He smiled.

The warning bell screamed at them and Travis flinched at the noise. "God-that's loud." He grumbled. "We really should get to class though. If my father gets a call about me skipping he'll be pissed." Travis scoffed, shaking his head. It would be bad. Really bad. He was already pissed at Travis for missing a lot of school and failing classes. Skipping a class would be horrible for home.

Sal nodded slowly. "Well, let's get going then." He said standing up as well as helping Travis up. "Thank you for helping me with my prosthetic."

Travis's face turned a dark red and he shrugged. "It was really nothing-I mean it was something but-I should stop talking. Bye Sal." Travis laughed awkwardly before leaving the stall. Sal laughed to himself, following him out.

Chapter Text

Valentine's day. Travis didn't know if he hated the holiday or not. Kenneth would always preach about how the day should only be about God's love. But there was a time in the past. Where Travis and his mother would spend the day together. It was one time of the year when it was just them. It didn't matter what day it fell on. If it was on the week she would let him miss school, and if it was on Sundays after church it would be just them. She would always take him to lake Wendigo. And they spent the day together. Travis missed that.

He missed his mother's laugh. He missed her smile. The way she would brush hair out of his face and tell him he would do amazing things when he was older. The year she left was the first year Travis spent Valentine's day alone. The first year he spent with Kenneth. It wasn't per-say bad. But different. There was no trip to the lake. No laughter. Just bible structures and school.

Travis started to prepare breakfast. For the first time in a while, he decided to eat. He was already pretty hungry. And besides. What harm can pancakes and bacon cause? He even made some for Kenneth as well! Travis set the plates out with the 2 pancakes on each plate, as well as the orange juice for the both of them placing them on the table.

As soon as he did that, Kenneth made his way downstairs, looking at the table. "Pancakes. Seriously Travis?" He grumbled and rolled his eyes.

Travis's smile faltered. "I just thought-"

"Just shut up. It's fine. I'll eat them." He groaned moving to the table and sat down across from the teen. Travis moved to sit down as well, clasping his hands together as they prayed.

"Heavenly father above. We thank you for today. We are forever in your debt for the wonders you grant us. We thank you for this food and life. Amen." Travis said before opening his eyes and started to eat. 

It only took a few minutes later before Kenneth scoffed. "Travis. I expected better from you by now." 

Travis lowered his fork frowning. "What?" He asked after swallowing the food. "I don't understand."

"Of course, you wouldn't understand. You're stupid. God doesn't favor those who are gluttonous. Travis." Kenneth narrowed his eyes. "You're seriously going to have all of that? Are you sure you can handle it?"

"I-" Travis looked down at the pancakes and bacon. This wasn't that much though...right? 

"Did I stutter?" He snapped. "You are my fucking son. The pastor's son. You can't be going out looking like-" He gestured to Travis. "Like that." 

Travis was hungry though. He hardly ate anything yesterday, and just wanted something to eat before church. "I'm sorry sir." He mumbled. 

"Don't apologize to me." Kenneth snapped. "Now look what you did. Wasted more food. What would God think of this Travis? You wasting food like it's nothing?" 

Travis shook his head. "We can always save it? For leftover" He was cut off by Kenneth slamming his fist down on the table, making Travis flinch.

"You already covered it in syrup. It's ruined. Fucking throw it away and get ready for Church." Kenneth snapped. "Today is a special day. The day of love falls on the Holy day. We need to honor God. And I can't have you messing that up already. Am I clear?" 

Travis swallowed, nodding. "Yes sir." He mumbled, standing up from the table and walked to the trash. Travis looked at the plate and sighed, seeing as there was still a lot left. Maybe Kenneth was right though. He dumped the food in the trash and moved to wash his plate. 

Church was packed more than it usually was. A lot of new and old faces were here. So were Sal and his father. They weren't in the back anymore, and Travis could see Sal more clearly. A small blush crept to his face. Even with all the talks. He felt wrong. Especially in a church. And especially when Kenneth was right next to him.

The ceremony went on normally. Kenneth speaking about God and his love, before reading bible verses. It took about 34 minutes in until Travis started to feel uneasy standing. Kenneth calling him up to speak didn't make it any better. 

The audience clapped as Travis walked up to the podium. He took a deep breath as he started to speak. "I am glad so many of you came today to join us with God." He spoke on. "Around this time, we are seeing the rise of nonbelievers. Of doubters." This felt ironic coming from him. "Other churches see them as sinners. They will never change and burn. However, we see the truth in them. They are lost. Misguided. And with a push of faith. They can get on the right track for God. They can...learn that God made everything happen for a reason. While they may stray from the path. Which is a sin in itself...forgiveness is what truly determines the sin." Travis's legs felt weak as he talked but ignored it. "Today is a day of love. Gods love. That is the only thing that matters today. God will determine whether or not the person is worthy. You know deep down who you are. You can't hide that. God will always know the truth." He spoke swallowing, feeling dizzy all of a sudden "You see....while...While people. Teenagers my age these days see God as a mockery. I see him as the flame in all of us. The flame....that keeps us alive. Burning bright with spirit. God prov- he- He provides-" Travis stammered his vision becoming blurry. He forced a laugh out and smiled weakly. "He is the flame in us- uh... We...We need to-to-" He could see the crowd began to whisper and saw Sal slowly stand up worriedly, but he kept on, holding onto the podium. "The flame...of him burns bright in us to..." Travis wasn't making sense. He knew it. The words were like gibberish to him. "Seek the truth about heaven...um..."

"Is everything alright son?" He heard a muffled Kenneth say. It was like he was miles away. 

Travis's swallowed about to answer back however, his vision faded to black as he suddenly fell to the ground. Everything happened in a moment it seemed. One second he was back in the peaceful darkness. A place where nothing existed. Nothing mattered. Travis always felt like this is where he was meant to be. It wasn't like he *wanted* to die! Just, to not exist. And this darkness was the only place where he could do just that. However, the peace didn't last forever as the world slowly pulled him back, ripping the darkness away from him. Travis slowly came to, with him lying on the ground. He heard more muffled voices before someone lifted him slowly. 

"Son, Here, have some water." A voice said, holding the water bottle up to Travis's lips, he weakly chugged the water down, taking a shaky breath as he weakly opened his eyes. The world fully coming into view again. Henry was in front of him, setting the water bottle down as other members stood a distance away looking on worriedly. His father however was right by his side, rubbing his back soothingly. Or as soothingly as he could. 

"What...happened?" Travis groaned groggily. His heart hurt. His speech was slurred and sloppy, as well as the fact he had just woken up. The world around him was still a blurry bright mess. And he did not want to even move.

"You fainted." Henry frowned. "Can you stand up?" He asked. 

Travis nodded slowly, "Yeah..Yeah." he mumbled, moving to push himself up, however, the dizzy spell only grew back again stronger. Travis's legs buckled again as Henry and Kenneth caught him, grabbing him under his arms. Travis gritted his teeth at that. The touch sending flaring panic to his brain but he ignored it, however it didn't stop his body from shaking.

"He needs to rest Kenneth. And eat something." Travis heard Henry say quietly. Like they didn't want anyone else to over here. 

"...You're right. I got him from here." Kenneth spoke "I apologize," he said suddenly a bit louder. Probably talking to the audience." We're cutting today short." Kenneth mumbled. "Thank you for service today. May God be with you all. I will be back out shortly for any questions." He said, grabbing Travis's arm, pulling him closer to him. The grip was painful, but Travis knew better than to not complain as Kenneth lead Travis into the back. Before turning the corner away, Travis looked behind him, seeing Sal standing in shock. Even with his prosthetic, Travis knew exactly what his face would be.

The moment they got into Kenneth's office, he slammed the door and let go of Travis's arm harshly, making the teen stumble back. Ringing pained his ear.

"Do you want to make me look like a fool?" He hissed out. 

"No sir-" Travis said with wide horrified eyes, still feeling like he needed to lay down. His legs were still shaking, and he just didn't have the energy to fight with Kenneth. 

"Why would you just pass out like that then!?" He screamed at Travis, walking closer to him. "I specifically told you to not act up! And this is what you do?!" 

"I-" Travis swallowed with wide eyes. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do it right now. It was just all so much. He felt himself slipping further and further away from his body every second.

"Fucking answer me, boy!" He heard Kenneth yell. Grabbing his arm and pulled him close again.

"I didn't eat breakfast sir-" Travis swallowed. It was the truth! Kenneth knew that full well. However, the anger on his face made Travis realize it was the wrong answer. 

Kenneth slapped him hard on the cheek, Travis. falling to the ground, catching himself with his shaking arms. "I am sick of your games Travis. I am this close to locking you in the fucking basement for a week. You wanna test me on that? Huh? I locked you in there for a few days before. I can easily do a week." Kenneth snapped. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir," Travis mumbled, not daring to look at his father. The buzz of the world grew stronger. Like static on the TV. He could hardly even hear Kenneth talking as he just stared at the wood below him.

Kenneth took a breath and straighten himself up, running. A hand through his hair. "Clean yourself up. I'll be apologizing to our members for your carelessness. I just want what's best for you Travis. But you keep doing this to me." Kenneth sighed. "Meet me by the car in ten minutes. Don't be late." He said before moving to the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Travis didn't move for a good few minutes. He just sat there. Not moving a muscle. Letting the static trap his mind. Finally, after what felt like ages he slowly looked up and frowned. Seeing himself in the mirror on the wall. His reflection was disheveled. He looked like a mess. Laying on the ground with a red cheek. The buzz of the world started to die down, however it wasn't quiet. 

God, you're pathetic. Crying on the floor. Seriously?

The voice spoke again. Only this time his reflection spoke back to him. It mocked him and laughed. His own face grinning maliciously. 

You're fucking ugly Travis. Father is doing you justice. You deserve to die of starvation.

"What?" Travis's eyes widened "What the fuck did you say?" He asked the mirror, however, anger didn't grow. Instead, it was defeat. Travis wasn't angry at what he was called. He had no energy to fight all over again. This was crazy. He was talking to a goddamn mirror. Who was talking back to him as well. Maybe this was it. Travis was finally going crazy.

 You deserve to rot in hell. Everyone would be better without you. So do it . 

Travis's gritted his teeth angrily at the mirror as it taunted him. "Shut up." He hissed, making no attempts to stand or move.

Or what? You can't make yourself shut up Travis. This is all you. You deserve to die. Stop being a fucking coward Travis And do it already. Nothing is stopping y-

"Travis-?" A voice cut out.

"What!?" Travis snapped, his head glaring at the voice. However, once he found the source, his eyes softened. "Sal-" Shit. He just yelled at Sal. Again. Shit shit.

"Is everything okay..?" Sal asked, walking closer to Travis before pausing. "I can- go if you want." He said worriedly, seeing Travis sitting on the floor. 

"No!" Travis's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I- mean- I'm sorry. You can stay." He said, glancing back to the mirror, seeing himself again, But this time it was only a reflection. His reflection. Nothing else. "I didn't hear you. Sorry for yelling." He grumbled, turning away to wipe his eyes, and ran a hand over his race. Resting his elbow on his knee. "Sorry." He said again. 

Sal frowned, walking inside fully, and shut the door behind him. Seeing how Travis looked. He was really worried for him. After seeing Travis basically pass out on stage it was all he could think about. And now. Seeing Travis on the ground after he heard muffled screaming and Kenneth walking out. It made him desperately worry. "Are...you okay?" He asked after a moment.

"I'm fine." He said through gritted teeth, still not looking at Sal. Nor leaving the spot where he sat. Even if he wanted to leave Travis probably couldn't. More than likely he would fall again. 

"I...wanted to come check on you earlier...but you and your dad were talking," Sal said shifting uncomfortably. "He didn't leave the door shut all the way..."

Travis shut his eyes at that. Knowing exactly what Sal meant. He saw him probably. He saw Kenneth slap him. And he probably saw Travis talking to himself. Great. Just great. 

"Trav..." Sal's voice was closer now. He turned to look up, seeing Sal move to sit next to him. The teen reached for his shoulder however Travis flinched back at that, looking away again.

"It doesn't matter." Travis sniffed. Tears forming in his eyes."I talked back anyways." He said. Knowing exactly what Sal was looking at. No words needed. The mark was right on his face. "Besides it's not that big of a deal."

"Travis. I heard him. You didn't even talk back. You didn't do anything."

"It doesn't matter Sal." Travis snapped, looking down. "It was my fault. I talked back. Stop trying to defend me." 

Sal was quiet at that. He was quiet for a few good moments. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He began quietly. "I'm just worried for you," Sal said after a moment. 

"I know," Travis mumbled. 

"You've gone through so much shit. It feels like a new thing is happening every day. I-" Sal shook his head before looking to Travis. The teen wasn't looking back but he didn't care. "I want you to be okay. How you've been doing with handling it."

Travis took a deep breath at that, feeling tears climb through him before he let a laugh out. "Im going fucking crazy." Travis laughed, lifting his head up to wipe his eyes. "I'm going fucking crazy. That's how I'm doing. That's the truth, Sal."

"You're not going crazy."

"Am I?" Travis laughed again, running a hand through his hair. "I- Can't get the thought of my dead cousin's ghost out of my head. I saw her fucking ghost, Sal." He spat, continuing to talk. "I keep hearing and seeing shit. Things whispering to me and figures in the corner of my eyes- Im losing hours of the day because I can't remember jack-shit-. I can barely eat anything now due to all this shit that my- mind reminds me of." Travis cried. By now his laughing turned into sobs, and he couldn't hold his tears back anymore as they poured down in cheeks."Im fucking talking to myself like some madman and I'm struggling with my faith and at this point, I'm terrified because either there's a chance God isn't real. Or I fucked up my life so badly that he refuses to talk to me." He sobbed out, pulling his legs closer to his chest. "There's so much shit that I just can't deal with it all. I'm just so fucking tired." 

The room was silent. Besides Travis's sobs. Both boys didn't know what to do or say next. Sal wanted to hug him, to hold him close but he knew Travis may not want that now and it would probably make things worse...so baby steps then. Do what Travis would be comfortable with. "Travis..." Sal spoke first after what seemed like an eternity. His hand slowly moved to Travis's. The other teen looked at Sal with tear-stained eyes. He looked down as Sal held Travis's hand, their fingers intertwined. "I am so sorry," Sal said after a moment. He wanted to tell Travis everything so badly. To tell him he wasn't crazy, but he couldn't. Something deep in Sal wanted to protect him still. "You're not going crazy at all okay? You have my word on that."

Travis sniffed, wiping his eyes as more tears fell. "Fuck-" He laughed weakly, letting sobs wretch through his body. Yet again, Sal came to his rescue. Being there for him when he broke down. Would Sal ever get old of this? Would he ever get tired? Travis's life changed the moment Sal talked to him in the bathroom. When he got a chance to be friends with Sal. He didn't want that to end. Sal was the first person to ever care this much for Travis. Like the angels in heaven, Travis truly believed Sal was one as well. 

After the crying had died down and Travis agreed to let Sal touch him., He moved to lean his head on Travis's shoulder. Their hands still locked together "You talked about how you couldn't eat anything." Sal said quietly. "Is..that why you passed out today..?"

Travis sniffed, and took a deep breath, looking at Sal sadly. 

"You don't have to talk about it." Sal pulled his head away, looking back to Travis. "I just...wanted to know."

Travis shook his head. "It's okay." He mumbled sighing. "That is why." He said shamefully. "Why I passed out," Travis mumbled, letting go of Sal's hand. 

"Did you eat breakfast?"

Travis shook his head silently. "I was gluttonous."

"Gluttonous? Travis- If you're hungry you can eat. That's not being greedy at all."

Travis was silent at that, refusing to look Sal in the eyes. What could he tell him? That somedays he didn't eat anything? That his father always nagged on about the meals Travis made and that he wouldn't be able to finish something 'that big.' What was he supposed to do? He was being greedy. Other kids couldn't eat anything, and Travis still had the privilege of eating whatever he could. The fridge was still full. The pantry was as well. He was greedy. Travis just sniffed. Staying silent. 

"Does your father push those thoughts on you?" Sal asked.

That felt like deja vu. Sal had said the same thing in the bathroom. How if his father was pushing the thoughts of homosexuals weren't right. That God would never love them. Now it was the same story.

"He just says, I have to look presentable," Travis mumbled after a moment. "And that I was his son. So. I had to look nice." He sniffed. 

"That doesn't mean you should starve yourself."

He didn't want to talk about this. The way Sal worded it. Starving himself. it struck a cord. Because that was what he was doing. Wasn't it?

Travis wiped his eyes sniffing. "My father is probably wondering where I am." He mumbled, moving to slowly stand up. Bad idea. His head spun and Travis stumbled for a moment, "I'm fine." He said catching his balance, seeing as Sal was now standing up. Like he was ready to catch Travis if he passed out again. 

"Travis..."

"I- don't wanna talk about this anymore. Please, Sal." He begged. "My head still hurts and I just want to lay down."

"Alright..." He sighed. "I want to help you though. If you ever need to talk." Sal smiled weakly under his prosthetic. 

Travis smiled and sniffed. "Yeah. I'll let you know. Thank you." 

"Of course. Oh-" Sal gasped, digging in his pocket, and pulled the orange out. "Can't forget this. It'll help with your headache."

Travis laughed weakly. The stupid orange. "Of course." He smiled. "Thank you," he said and pocketed the orange himself. He would eat it. Because he would do anything for Sal.

"No problem. Also, me and the gang are going to the movies around 1 if you wanted to come." Sal offered. "Or if you just wanted to rest..."

"I can't. I'm sorry." Travis frowned. He wanted to go, but two things stopped him. His father. And the way he felt now. "I really just want to rest for the day."

"That's alright," Sal said simply. "Also make sure to have some crackers as well ok? They can help you feel not as bad on an empty stomach."

Huh. He didn't know that. Guess Travis's would try that out."...I'll see you tomorrow at school?" Travis asked/

"Yeah. I'll see you there Travis." Sal sighed. "Let me know if you change your mind about today okay?" 

"Okay." Travis paused, thinking for a moment. "I wouldn't mind spending another day with you...to see the movies," Travis mumbled. Did that sound like a date? Shit, it probably did. But it wasn't a date! He wasn't dating Sal. So how could it be? It was just a get-together. 

"Just like- just us?"

Travis nodded, a blush creeping on his face. "Is that alright?" This wasn't a date. It wasn't! He was juts hanging out with Sal. Just like friends do. 

Sal was now Sal's turn to blush again. Still thankful for the prosthetic.  "I would love that honestly." 

"Cool." Travis forced a smile out and nodded. "Cool uh- That's, cool cool." He laughed weakly, taking a few steps back "I'll see you tomorrow then? For school?" Sal said yes. Sal had said. Yes. He was going to see a movie with Sal soon. Alone. And he was acting like a blushing mess. Way to go Travis. 

Sal chuckled and smiled "of course." He smiled. 

"Cool." Travis said again "I-mean yeah. That's amazing then." Travis said nervously. He laughed before shaking his head.  God this was so embarrassing. "We really should get going..." 

"Shit yeah, you're right. Let's go" Sal smiled as they walked. "And I'm serious about what I said. You can always talk to me if you need."

"..I'll try." Travis smiled weakly. The two quickly walked through the church, However stopping a few times for Travis to balance himself. Once outside Travis saw his father car on the road. He swallowed nervously and waved off to Sal. Both going their separate ways. His head was still spinning. For many things today. But for one reason it was because of Sal Fisher.

Today was Valentines day. The day of love. And he was in love with Sal Fisher. 

Chapter Text

Monday. A new day and a new week. Sal waved to Travis as he walked through the halls. Travis waved back, a soft smile on his face before walking passed them. School had started 2 hours ago, and Sal had just gotten out of history with Larry.

Travis still looked horrible. Sal couldn't stop thinking of it. His face seemed paler and sunken in. Just like it was yesterday. Sal worried for him. He worried a lot. His father was starting to grow worried for Travis as well. 

After the ceremony, he had asked Sal if anything was going on with Travis, and despite Sal wanting to tell him, he wanted to tell him so badly. Get another adult involved. Maybe then Travis could finally be safe. However, this wasn't a normal town. Nor normal adults. Kenneth would probably sweep it under the rug. Hurt his own father. Hurt Sal. And maybe even Travis more. He did it before to Sal and his own mother. Who to say he'll do it again?

So the best he could do is be there for Travis. Give him a safe place at his apartment. Let him in his own time talk about things. It was the best he could do. 

"New bleak week." Larry groaned, snapping Sal out of his thoughts. 

Sal snorted shaking his head as he twisted the lock on his locker. "You say that every week."

"Well, it's true." Larry groaned. "We had that test in physics last Wednesday and I am not confident at all."

Sal shook his head. "Eh. Im just hoping to get an 80 on it." He said, frowning when his locker didn't open. So he tried again. 

"Well, you're like- Amazing in everything." Larry teased. "I bet you could guess and still get every answer right."

"Hah hah hah." Sal rolled his eyes, finally getting his locker opened. He frowned, seeing as a folded paper fell from his locker. 

"What's that?" Larry asked leaning on the locker next to him. 

"I- don't know." Sal chuckled, picking it up and unfolded it. There. Was a letter directed to him?

Sal.

Blue is my favorite color. It wasn't before, but now I think it is now. Your hair and eyes are blue. People associate blue with sadness. With pain and anguish. But I see blue as joy. The reason I wake up, the purpose in my life. Blue is my favorite color. I wish for a life between us two. Maybe someday, down the road, this can be true. We can watch the sunset together, and I will watch you. Blue is my favorite color. I wish for a time we can grow old together and all I'll see is blue. Your eyes sparkle like a galaxy. Your voice is like an angel in heaven. My favorite color is blue. I wonder what yours is too?

- Happy Valentine's day Sal Fisher. Even if it's one day late. 

Sal stared at the letter in awe. His face was a dark blush. Thank god for the prosthetic once again...

"Shit whoever that is marry them right now!" Larry laughed, peering over Sal to read it as well. "That's amazing!" He said, playfully pushing Sal. "If you don't marry whoever wrote this I'm marrying them."

Travis. It was Travis who wrote this. He recognized the handwriting. But it was signed anonymously. No. No. It couldn't have been. Travis still didn't know that Sal found the letter. Then it dawned on him. Was Travis talking about him? This letter proved it. But the confession before? That was Travis. Travis...liked him. 

Holy shit. Travis actually liked him! 

"Earth to Sal." Larry laughed, shaking him gently. 

Sal shook his head, looking at Larry. "Wh-who huh?" 

He snorted. "Oh, you sweet poor boy." 

"What does that mean?" He frowned, "Larry!" Sal laughed weakly. "What does that mean!"

"You're in love, my sweet friend. And you have a secret admirer~" He teased nudging Sal's shoulder. "Someone else has a crush on you~" 

The smaller teen rolled his eyes and folded the letter, gently pocketing it away in his own pocket. "Hah hah hah." He sighed, Travis had a crush on him. He actually liked him! Sal suddenly heard yelling in the distance and frowned looking around the hallway and seeing more kids running past them. 

"Woah. What's going on?" Larry frowned seeing the rush of people running past them. It was like a hoard of zombies. "Is there a fight or something?"

Suddenly Todd came pushing through the kids, his eyes finding the two boys. He was missing his glasses, no. He had his broken glasses in his hand. He looked like a mess. Like he was just in a fight.

"Todd?" Sal frowned. "What's going on? Are you okay?" He asked, scanning his friend for bruises, but didn't see any.

"I'm fine. Travis is fighting Jackson." Todd breathed out. "It's bad. We need to go now."

Sal and Larry's eyes widened, both thinking the same thought.

Travis was terrified. His heart was racing like a mile. He had sunk a letter to Sal this morning and the teen was opening his locker as he walked by. Sal was going to open his locker and see the letter! Travis's heart skipped a beat at that. Just at the thought. A part of him hated that he felt this way, but Travis tried to ignore it. Sal would read the letter and will have no idea it was him! Travis headed to his next class he turned a corner but frowned at the scene in front of him.

Todd was pushed against the wall. Jackson, a kid who he used to be friends with years ago, was laughing at him. "Is the fairy going to cry?" Jackson laughed. "God you people really are so pathetic!" He snorted, grabbing Todd's glasses, and dropped them on the floor, smashing them.

Anger ranged in Travis.

"Hey!" He yelled out, stomping toward them, moving to take his backpack off.

Jackson turned over to Travis, smirking. "What? Is the Pastor's kid going to recite prayers for me? Or no. You're a bad boy aren't you now Phelps?" He smirked. "Sinning whenever you can? Come to think of it. You're probably a f*ggot just like this one is here. You two are probably dating! Oh, wait. It's probably you and that freak with the mask." He grinned. "I always had a feeling you like to suck dick. Wonder how daddy will feel about that."

Anger exploded out of Travis. Rage forced its way through. The rage he kept back for so long, only letting it out in small amounts screamed at him.

Let me out.

Let me out . It screamed.

Like a demon that lived inside Travis took control, his fists clenched and he rammed into Jackson, making the other teen stumble back, dropping Todd in the process. Immediately the orange hair teen grabbed his broken glasses and ran off from the circle that was already growing. He needed to get Sal and Larry. And that's exactly what he did.

"Oh, you mother fucker." Jackson spat out, slamming Travis onto the lockers by his throat and squeezed. 

Travis gasped, clawing at Jackson's hands to let him go. However, when that didn't work he did the next step. Travis slammed his own hand right on Jackson's elbow. A sickening snap was heard followed by a scream. Jackson let go of Travis, cradling his arm. "You're gonna regret that." Jackson snarled, punching Travis hard with his other hand. 

The two boys fought. Punching and kicking each other. The circle around them grew larger. Screaming and cheering, pushing the teens back in when one got sent flying back. However, Travis didn't stop. No matter how many punches Jackson got on him he stood his ground. Like a newfound force, he slammed his fist into Jackson, sending the teen falling backward. Travis sat on top of him and started to punch him. Burning rage still fueled the teen. Fist colliding with skin until all that was left was red.

Jackson's face was bloody. 

Travis loved it. The old feeling of power over others. Seeing how helpless people could be. He loved that power. He wanted more of this power. Travis was hungry for power. In a moment it was like he was suddenly pulled back to his body. As well as being pulled off by Larry, and Sal.

The once screaming circle around them grew deathly silent. All eyes were either on a passed-out Jackson or a struggling Travis. 

"Travis !" Sal yelled.

"Travis! Dude stop!" Larry yelled, still trying to hold a fighting Travis back. "He's had enough!"

"I'll fucking kill you!" Travis screamed out. "Don't test me! Come near anyone again and I'll do it fucker!" Travis yelled at Jackson, who was still laying on the ground. His face was bloodied. And not moving. Was he even breathing? A part of Travis worried he went too far. But another half hoped he was dead. That Travis killed him.

"Travis!" Sal pleaded again. "We gotta go before teachers get here" He yelled out.

Travis snapped his head to Sal with rage in his eyes before his eyes softened. "Sal-?" He whispered out before moving to look at his hand, which Larry had let go of. His knuckles were covered in blood. Travis swallowed thickly before looking at Jackson again. Holy shit. He actually did that. 

Sal looked at Travis with scared eyes. "We gotta go, dude. Now. Before-"

"Travis Phelps." The principal boomed from behind them. "My office. Now!"

"Suspension!' Kenneth roared out angrily "Seriously Travis!" 

After the fight, Travis was sent to the nurse's office to clean his bloody face, and hand, thankfully it   as well as given an ice pack. before sending him to the principal's office. Travis was suspended. For a week. Kenneth was pissed more or less. Practically dragged Travis out of the school. So here they were. Kenneth screaming at him in the Phelps living room.

"You're lucky they're not pressing charges! And you didn't kill him!" Kenneth yelled out. "What in God's name made you want to do that!?"

"He was bullying a student," Travis mumbled, glaring at the floor instead of Kenneth. 

"Bullying the queer." Kenneth sneered out. 

That hit a nerve. "Why does that matter?" Travis snapped out, looking up at Kenneth. "I thought God teaches us to love thy neighbor? Why does it matter if he was gay? It's okay if he fights someone but not with me?"

"It's a sin. Maybe he got what was coming for him." Kenneth narrowed his eyes.

Travis clenched his fists. "Maybe you'll get what's coming to you." He snapped out. 

That was a mistake. As immediately after Kenneth slapped him in the face hard. "Don't you dare talk back to me." He hissed out. 

Travis gritted his teeth, his cheek stinging. He should stop. Drop this whole thing and apologize. But he didn't. He kept going. "I know about Megan." Travis breathed angrily. 

"...You watch your mouth boy." Kenneth slowly said, his fists clenching.

"I know Luke killed her. And I know you covered it up." Travis's eyes narrowed. "I know you're hiding things from me father. That there's more to lead on. Was I really chosen by God? Was the ceremony real? Or was that a ruse just for you to fucking carve up my back for your statistic pleasure-" 

Kenneth wrapped his arms around Travis's neck and slammed him on the wall. "Now you listen to me, boy." Kenneth sneered out.

Travis gasped out for air, his hands desperately trying to pull Kenneth away. Unlike his fight with Jackson this morning, he felt powerless now.

"You know fucking nothing. I kept that from you to protect you. Do you want to know the truth? The real fucking truth?" Kenneth hissed. "Luke drowned his own daughter in the bathtub. He impaled Stacy on their own mattress springs before hanging himself like a coward. Do you understand that?" He snapped, squeezing harder. Travis only let a strangled cry out. 

"If you want to say I covered it up then fine. We told the world the family died in a mudslide. When me and your mother had to identify her body, she was torn apart. She was mauled." Kenneth hissed. "Is that the truth you wanted so badly? Do you feel better now that you know?" He let go of Travis, making him drop to the floor and gasp out for air. Coughing and taking deep heavy breaths. Kenneth grabbed a wad of his hair, forcing his head up. 

"God chose you for a reason. That is true. However, I'm beginning to question if he made a mistake."

Travis breathed out heavily. His tongue felt tied in his mouth. 

"If you want to act like a sinner now all of a sudden so fucking be it." Kenneth grumbled, grabbing his arm and pulled him up."Maybe I should throw you in the basement. Leave you there for a week."

Travis swallowed thickly. He couldn't fight back. Seeing Kenneth's anger made Travis know fighting back would make it even worse than now. He already pushed his luck with his father, but he at least got the truth out of it. So he stayed silent despite his heart racing. Travis hated the basement. It was a rare punishment, the last time happening around nine months ago. Kenneth would leave him there for a day or more, giving Travis food if he was lucky. But that wasn't bad. Kenneth could shackle him down here. Beat him. But he didn't! 

Travis watched as Kenneth open the basement door, shoving him inside. Travis stumbled down the stairs, tripping on the last few steps, and fell to the floor. 

"Maybe a day here can make you learn your lesson." He sneered out. "Make you respect me and God." Kenneth hissed. "Don't fucking test me on this Travis. Next time it will be a week. God sees all and he is very disgusted with you. Maybe that's why he doesn't talk to you." He said before slamming the door shut, locking it behind him. 

His eyes widened at that. Kenneth knew. How did he know God doesn't talk to him? Did he know about Sal? About the thoughts? About him being gay? Did God tell him? Great. So God can ignore him but will tell everything to his own father.  Fuck you too God. Wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry.

He didn't know how to feel. Travis was angry. And terrified. There were too many emotions to deal with it made his skin crawl. Travis pushed himself up feeling his chest tighten and a familiar feeling creeping back.

Travis pulled his knees close to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, and dug his nails through the fabric of his sleeves, breathing heavily. It felt like he couldn't get enough air. But this was fine. Everything was fine. He's handled being in here for days before. So a day was nothing. Kenneth knowing was fine. All he knew was God didn't talk to him. He knew nothing else. This was fine.

It was still bad.

It was just Travis alone with his thoughts. Which now was dangerous. Which his thoughts taunting and mocking him. Being alone for a full day was not good. It would make him either be too aware of his surroundings, or not aware at all. Maybe Kenneth wanted Travis to sink into his mind. It would be so easy. To give up control and just sink into the bliss of his thoughts. 

A pair of red eyes glowing in the shadows stopped him, however. 

He couldn't breathe suddenly. For what seemed like minutes, Travis froze. Unable to move from his spot as the eyes glared at him. "G-get the fuck away from me." Travis hissed out finally, standing up and took a step back. The eyes still lingered on him.

He grabbed his hair, pulling on it, and shook his head. Practically gasping for air. "I'm not going crazy. You're just in my head. You're just in my head." Travis opened his eyes, looking around. The eyes were still there. 

"I'm not going crazy." Travis laughed backing up until he hit the wall. He let a yelp out at the sudden touch and turned around, gripping his chest. His eyes scanned the wall terrified. It's just a wall you dumbass. See? Just a fucking wall. Travis swallowed heavily, as his body shook violently. Anger slowly filled him again and he let an angry yell out, slamming his fist on the stone. The pain shot through his body, so he did it again. 

And again. 

And again 

And again. He didn't care that his fist was bloody now, and that it hurt even worse then it did when punching Jackson. He didn't care that it felt like it was on fire. Or that he could cause actual serious damage. Travis finally stopped after a few more punches, taking a deep breath out looking down at his shaking hand before he moved to sit down, laying his head on the wall he had just punched. He closed his eyes. Stress was just getting to him. Stressing about Sal. Seeing Megan's ghost was making him see things. As well as this basement. (He's been seeing this creature for years now. It was becoming more frequent). The lack of sleep and lack of eating probably made him worse. But Travis didn't want to delve into that. He ate breakfast for Sal's sake, but Kenneth nagged him about it the whole meal.

Travis continued to struggle to breathe, moving his head up in hopes he could breathe better, but it was the same. "Fuck-" Travis gasped out. Trying to remember how Sal helped him calm down in his hazed mind. Breathe in for three? No. No four. Breathe for four. Hold for six. Out for four.

After what seemed like ages following the order, he finally could breathe normally again. However, that didn't make him feel any better. Travis kept his eyes closed. Too terrified to open them and see that thing again. But keeping them closed made Travis's mind imagine way darker things. So opening them was his best bet. Slowly cracking them open, he peeked around the room. There were no red eyes, but the presence of being watched still lingered. It was like that thing was behind him. In his own shadow. Watching and waiting for a moment to strike.

"Im going fucking crazy." Travis laughed weakly. Guess Sal was wrong. "I'm actually going insane. Holy shit." Tears stung his eyes as he moved to grab a wad of his hair and tugged on it. He pulled his knees to his chest again, placing his arms on top of them, burying his head between the top arm. Slowly rocking himself back and forth. His hand still stung and Travis worried he actually broke it. 

He was losing his mind here. He didn't know how much time had even passed due to the lack of windows. It could have been an hour or only a few minutes. All Travis could do was rot in this hell-like place until the next day. Travis wished this could be a dream. That any moment he'll wake up, turn to his side and see Sal next to him. Did the teen even get his letter? Did he even read it? Travis got into fights before. This wasn't any different. The only difference was that he was now with Sal. He was friends with Sal. He loved Sal. Travis loved Sal Fisher. He could keep saying over and over again. Tell himself over and over again that it was okay. That it was right to love him. But those were just words. No matter the support. The talks. It didn't matter. He was still terrified daily of going to hell. The more time he spent with Sal. The touches. The hand holding. Everything. Travis was scared. His mind and heart were at war. The only question was, which would win? 

God, he hoped this day would pass quickly. 

Chapter Text

Travis looked up as the door to the basement opened. He was sitting on the ground still, feeling like he was about to pass out. Travis was starving as well. If Kenneth really did keep him here for a day, it would have been a full 24 hours of Travis not eating. Which was the longest Travis went without food. His whole body felt like it wanted to give up. After that breakdown the first few hours he got here, it left him exhausted and paranoid. Worried if he slept that that demon would creep up on his sleeping body. 

And hurt him.

Or kill him.

Or possess him. 

"Don't just sit there. Get up." Kenneth grumbled. "We need to talk."

Travis did just that. He slowly stood up, despite his legs shaking he pushed on and walked up the stairs. "What did you need to talk about?" Travis asked after a moment, closing the basement door behind him before turning to look at Kenneth. Travis's face darkened as he saw him pull the photo out. The polaroid Ashley took of him asleep on Todd.

"I-" Oh shit. Oh, shit please oh no.

"What is this Travis?"

"I can explain." Travis swallowed. Fear consuming him. If Kenneth found the photo, what else did he find? Did he know about Sal? About Neil? 

"Can you? How do I know you're not lying to me now?" He snapped. "What is this Travis? Why was it hidden in your pillowcase?" 

Travis's heart started to race. He went through his room. His sanctuary. If that place wasn't safe then where was? "I'm not friends with them," Travis spoke, trying to sound as calm as he could. He couldn't handle another punishment. "I am only close to talk to God with them. To save their souls. Sal introduced me to them a while ago." He swallowed. "That photo is from when I was just tired and fell asleep. Nothing more."

Kenneth frowned. "And?"

More? Oh. Oh right. "I ask for forgiveness. I lied to you and God and I apologize. It was wrong for me. and I plead that God will accept my forgiveness."

Kenneth smiled softly at that, gesturing for Travis to continue. 

Travis took a breath. "I let sin into my mind. And let lies corrupt me." He spoke. "I will work to better myself to not lie to you or God. And I know if I do, he will always find out." 

Kenneth chuckled, shaking his head. "That wasn't so hard. Was it? How easy it is to tell God the truth?"

"No sir," Travis mumbled. "You were right. It was easy." 

"God sees all Travis. You have such a big role in God's plan. And we can't have you messing it up. Now. Is there anything else you need to tell me now? Any impure thoughts? Deviating away from God?"

Travis shook his head. "No." That was a lie. Good thinking Travis. Lie again. Maybe Kenneth had a point.

"Good," Kenneth said looking at the photo before ripping it suddenly. 

Travis could only watch silently. 

He walked to the trash, ripping it into smaller pieces, and dumped it in. Travis could only watch silently. 

He tore the photo. 

He tore  the  photo.

"Clean yourself up," Kenneth grumbled. "Im going out of town for a business trip. I'll be gone for a few days. You're not allowed to leave this house. Understand? I will find out if you do. God sees all. And so do I."

"Yes sir," Travis said quietly. However, his eyes didn't peel away from the trash can. Not even when Kenneth scoffed in annoyance. Nor when he walked out the door. Or even when the car pulled out of the driveway. 

Slowly after what felt like forever, Travis moved to the trash, grabbing the pieces. Tears started to fill his eyes as he continued to dig for everything. 

He could fix this. He only needed tape. Quickly moving to the kitchen table and set the torn picture down, rushing to the cabinets as he practically threw everything out. Where was the fucking tape? Travis didn't care if he was tearing the kitchen apart. Or how much his body screamed at him to stop. To just rest. 

Finally, once he found it he walked back to the table. His hands shook violently as he tried to cut the tape, but Travis still managed to do so. However, taping the photo was the worst part. Using his one good hand he tried to hold two pieces together, using his shaking hand holding the tape. This did not work at all. The tape wouldn't stay on, and it wouldn't stick where the cut was. Instead, it got placed on half of the film and paper. Angry, Travis ripped the tape off only for part of the film to tear as well. 

Travis let out a frustrating scream out, swiping the polaroid off the table and gripped his hair. It wasn't working. His hands were shaking too much. The tape was ruining the photo. he was ruining the photo. He was such a child. Sobbing over a photo. Who cares about it? Ashley is just a bitch. He shouldn't care so much for this photo she gave him. 

But he did. 

He looked at the phone on the wall and swallowed, moving closer to it and picked it up, dialing the ever-so-familiar number. 

"Hello? Fisher residence speaking." A deep voice spoke out after it rang.

"Mr. Fisher?" Travis asked, not caring at this voice was shaky. He knew he sounded pathetic. 

"Travis?" The line sighed. "Is everything alright son? Do you want me to get Sal?"

"I'm fine." He sniffed. "We're just...we have a project together."

The line was quiet for a moment before rustling was heard. 

"Travis? Holy shit I haven't heard anything in like a day! How are you? Are you okay?" Sal asked, sounding worried. He was genuinely worried. Which made sense. He probably hasn't seen him since yesterday morning at school.

"Y'know just... chillin'" Travis laughed weakly. He sniffed and looked back to the photo sitting on the table. Still unfixed. He should ask Sal. But would that be a burden? Making Sal come over here for what?

"My dad said you wanted to talk about a project." Sal laughed. "What did you wanna talk about?" 

Travis sniffed, about to open his mouth to speak but another voice cut him off.

"Sal honey. Do you want some extra food?" A woman's voice. She sounded vaguely familiar, but he didn't know who.

"No thank you, Lisa! Anyways sorry. What were you saying?" 

"I-I didn't know you were having dinner." Travis swallowed. Great. He ruined dinner for Sal. Just perfect. 

"We just finished. It's all good." Sal assured him.

"I can-" Shit was he crying? God, he was pathetic. "I can call you back later. I'm sorry for ruining dinner."

"You didn't ruin anything." Sal chuckled. "Like I said it's okay." When Travis didn't answer, and soft sobs bled into the phone Sal grew worried. "Trav. Is everything okay?" 

Travis didn't answer. 

"Do you need to come over?"

"Can't leave." Travis choked out, covering his eyes with his arm. He was 17. He shouldn't be crying over this. Over a stupid photo that... meant so much to him. That he felt happy that day. With all his worries slipping away every time he looked at it. He could be a normal teenager in that photo. With a normal life.

"I'm on my way then. Okay?" Sal said. "I'll bring some leftovers as well. Lisa knows where your place is. I'll be there in a few minutes." 

"Okay." Travis swallowed before hanging the phone back up again. He didn't understand why he was getting so worked up about this. 

Travis didn't want to ruin the photo even more. But he couldn't just sit around. So while waiting for Sal he began to pace back and forth, trying to push his mind to think about anything else. Something else. All while his body ached. 

The doorbell rang after a few minutes and he immediately snapped toward the door. Travis rushed to it, opening it up. Sure enough, Sal was standing there. Prosethic on. His hair was tied together in a messy low ponytail, as well as carrying a container that looked like the food was in there. Behind Sal, there was a car that slowly drove off.

"Hey." Travis swallowed. "Come in," he said stepping aside.

Sal nodded and walked inside, looking around the house. He'd had never been inside before and it looked...bear. People lived here. But almost looked staged. The walls were plain white, the living room had a bookcase, a couch, and a recliner. And a TV that seemed like it wasn't turned on for ages. And a wall of crosses. That was unsettling. It's like the crosses were eyes watching them. Sal's eyes hovered over the basement door. His eyes not leaving the locks on the outside. Who would lock a basement door? Especially on the outside? He turned his attention to the kitchen and frowned. It was a disaster. Drawers were pulled all the way out, papers and spoons and pots and pans, and everything was scattered on the floor. 

"Can you fix it?" Travis asked.

Sal looked back to Travis and frowned. "What?"

"The polaroid. My father found it and uh ripped it. I can't fix it." 

Sal glanced over to Travis's bruised and dried bloody hand. No wonder he couldn't fix it. His hand was shaking. It was REALLY shaking. That wasn't good at all. Could he of fractured something?

"What happened to your hand..?" He asked worriedly. 

"The fight. Look can you fix it or not?" Travis huffed.

Sal sighed, nodding slowly. He didn't believe him. Sure he had no idea what punching someone to the point of 13 stitches could do...But it for sure didn't leave a possibly fractured hand. Come to think of it. He would have cleaned it after the fight. There was blood still on his hand. As well as bruises on his neck. Jackson was a tall guy. However, he had smaller hands. These bruises looked big.

"Yeah. I got it." He mumbled walking over to the polaroid, setting down the container. Slowly Sal arranged the torn pieces before flipping them over. He glanced over at Travis, (Who should be resting. Or eating) his eyes locked onto the polaroid.

Sal grabbed the tape, holding two pieces together before tapping them, repeating the process for all of them. Some pieces were missing, but the photo itself was still intact. "It's not the best, but It's all taped together again." Sal offered, handing it back to Travis. 

He snatched the picture back from Sal, looking over at that, and took a shaking breath. "He was just so mad when he found this." 

"I'm so sorry Travis." Sal frowned. 

Travis sniffed again, tracing the picture. "I hid it in my pillowcase. But he went through it. I don't know where else to hide it now." He whispered. "I want to keep this."

"Where do you keep the walkman I gave you?" 

"In my vent."

"You can try to put it there?"

Travis thought for a moment and nodded. "Yeah..." He sighed. "I guess I can do that. Sorry for making you come over for something this stupid." Travis wiped his eyes. "I just panicked. Normally he doesn't do something like this and just yells at me." Travis frowned. "He normally doesn't care if I got into fights. But he did with this one." Travis knew why this one he got mad at. Normally he prayed the principal off. Or paid the parents of the kid Travis bullied off. But this time it was different. He stuck up for someone.

"It's all good." Sal smiled weakly. "I brought some food over as well. Didnt know if you had eaten dinner or not.

He didn't. And the food did look pretty good. "What is it?" Travis asked setting the photo down.

"Gambas al ajillo!" Sal hummed. "It's this Spanish garlic shrimp that Lisa made. I just have to heat it up again if that's okay?" 

The teen nodded slowly. "Are you gonna eat it as well?"

"Why not. I'm still kinda hungry." He chuckled, looking around at the kitchen still. Sal would clean the kitchen. Maybe today or tomorrow. A time when Travis would be asleep. Knowing him Travis would push his body just to clean a room. Sal was not gonna let that happen. 

"I can heat the food up."

"Nah it's okay I got it." Sal smiled, moving to prepare the food again. 

Travis felt angry at that. He didn't know why. Maybe because he felt like he still had a part to play? That if he wasn't helping, what could he be doing? Sal was doing all this work just for him. Because he felt pity for Travis. He didn't want to be pitied.

After a few minutes of waiting for the food to heat up, both Travis and Sal grabbed some plates and Travis grabbed glasses of water much to Sal's dismay. 

"Yknow for like a week straight," Travis talked as he washed his hands, carefully rinsing off the blood caked to his knuckles. "We had like meat straight. Everyday."

Sal chuckled. "Really?" He asked, placing the servings on the plate. To be truthful, he wasn't hungry, but he still wanted Travis to eat. So he gave Travis a heavier serving. 

"Yeah. Like, pork, steak, chicken, uh...still bologna for lunch." Travis laughed. "So maybe this may be a bit of a change. It does smell good."

That made Sal worry. He knew that Travis was still eating the bologna. And the fact that kids were going missing, albeit a lot less, Travis was probably eating- no no. You're eating. No time to be thinking about that. 

Travis soon finished washing his hands, moving to sit down at the table. Sal was sitting next to him and the two boys smiled at each other before looking down.

Travis looked at the food Lisa made, and god it looked delicious. After a beat, he began to eat. Sal was about to ask Travis if he wanted to pray, but seeing how he gulped the food down, he decided against it. It was odd for Travis to not pray, but if he forgot then it was fine to him/

"So uh, where's your dad?" Sal asked a few minutes later. "I figured he wasn't here anyways," Sal said, pulling his prosthetic up to eat the food.

He swallowed the food "Business trip." He mumbled. 

That was odd. "Didn't he just go on one a while ago?" Sal asked. But it made sense. If he was the cult leader. Him leaving town was bad. Good for them, but bad for anyone else. Kenneth was spreading the word of the cult even more.

"Yeah. For like a day." Travis mumbled, as he continued to eat. "But he's probably gonna be gone for the whole week." He chuckled. "So I'm stuck here the whole week." 

"You can't leave?"

"No. Not allowed." 

Sal frowned. "Well. We can come here." He said. "You still owe me a movie Traavis" He teased. 

Travis's face blushed, laughing to himself as he looked down at the food, quickly finishing it up.

Sal noticed how fast Travis ate. He always ate fast. Like at any moment the food could be snatched away from him. Or if it was the first meal he ate in days. Another thing Kenneth probably did. He saw those locks. A part of Sal hoped it wasn't true but he had a feeling Kenneth locked him there. 

Soon, Travis finished and quickly stood up, grabbing his plate. "You done?" He asked Sal. The teen sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I finished." 

Sal watched silently as Travis took the two plates to the sink, washing them before placing them on the drying rack to dry. "I still need to clean this up." He mumbled looking at the ground of the kitchen. 

"We can do it later. You should rest." Sal said standing up.

"Okay, Mom." Travis rolled his eyes and chuckled, moving to walk over to the couch and sat down, Sal following him. "Besides don't you need to go or something? It's pretty late."

Sal shrugged, leaning on Travis's shoulder. "I can stay for as long as you need me. Besides, it's almost 7. It's fine."

Travis's face blushed again and he looked away, God this boy. This boy was making him feel so much. It felt like his heart was going to explode.

"Well-" He spoke again, swallowing. "I'm still failing math..." 

Maybe I'll tutor you~" Sal teased, lifting his head up from Travis and nudged his shoulder. "You can't escape me this time."

Travis groaned and rolled his eyes. "Hah hah." He said, moving to flop his head on Sal's lap. "I'm suspended! It's not like I need the math help anyways" he paused, remembering his math grade. "okay maybe I do actually. Shit." He chuckled. "Im fucking failing math. But I actually learn shit when you teach it."

Sal snorted at that shaking his head, slowly moving his hand to comb Travis's hair. Both boys were silent for a moment, like they were deciding if this should continue. Both could feel their heart racing through their ears.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

They felt calm this way. At peace. Like the world stopped moving for the two. Travis was worried that his father would walk in, however remembering he left, that fear vanished. 

"I still feel tired," Travis said, finally deciding to speak first. He moved so his head was facing up to Sal as the boy looked down.

"From the food?" Sal teased

"No fuckward." Travis chuckled, before frowning and sighed. "I've been tired since before eating. All day I think."

"How much did you sleep last night?" 

"I don't know." Travis shrugged. "On and off I guess. It was weird." He did not want to tell Sal about the basement. He would probably freak out. Beg for Travis to leave. But he couldn't. 

"On and off?" He questioned, still continuing to comb his hair. "Did you see that demon again?"

"Yeah," Travis mumbled, Just I guess. Made it hard to sleep." Travis said, technically it wasn't a lie. He couldn't sleep. Sal just wouldn't understand this.

"Me and my dad take sleeping pills," Sal explained, gently moving hair out of Travis's face. He couldn't help but frown when the teen would flinch every so often, but he didn't tell Sal to stop. Or move away. "It helps us sleep. I still get nightmares occasionally but maybe you can ask your dad?" Him seeing the demon wasn't good. Especially if it got in the way of sleep. And the fact that he could be a host to Red Eyes.

"He believes the hospital is sinful and that mental health is made up. What makes you think he'll get me pills to help me sleep?" Travis grumbled. 

Sal laughed sadly at that. "So he doesn't believe in anything mental health-wise?"

"Nope."

"Well, then him seeing my medical records would give him a heart attack."

Travis snorted at that. "It can't be that bad. Can it?" Travis laughed, seeing Sal roll his eyes behind his prosthetic. 

"It's definitely something." Sal chuckled. "Lots of words. Too many of them."

"I'm sorry."

"Dude no. No, don't be sorry. But uh for you, you don't need pills to sleep. You can sleep now yknow." He smiled. "If you're tired. You really do need it, man." 

"Like- on you?" Travis's face blushed.

Sal froze at that. His heart stopped. "Well- No not on me- If- I mean if you don't want that! I was just saying you can sleep. Here. Your bed. Anywhere." He laughed weakly. Shit, he was a blushing mess.

Travis was as well. "Well." He muttered out. "This does feel nice. But don't tell anyone about this. Got it?"

"Sure." Sal smiled and continued to comb Travis's hair. It was soothing. Relaxing Sal's legs started to grow numb due to Travis's head being on them. But at this point, he didn't mind. Travis was  on  him.

 Travis felt his eyes start to grow heavy after a bit. Who knows how long the two boys were here. He forced his eyes open, looking up at Sal and his beautiful...breathtaking blue eyes. Travis could get lost in them."Can....you...Can you stay?" He asked drowsily.

Sal chuckled at the sight. "Of course." Travis up close was stunning. All Sal could look at was his amber eyes. They seemed to change color like fall leaves. One moment a shining gold and the next a vibrant red. Despite all the bruises, and one eye being swollen, Travis was still stunning as ever. His deep cheekbones, the way he didn't fit all the way on the couch and needed to bend his legs. The way how he smiled, Sal could see his dimples, and God dammit Larry was right. He was madly in love. 

"Hey. Get some rest Trav. I'll be here." He said again after seeing Travis continue to force his eyes open.

He sighed as Sal said that. "Okay.." Travis's eyes soon closed, and just like that he fell asleep. On Sal's lap. He didn't dream of any demons. Nor seeing anyone dead. This time however he dreamed of a meadow. A meadow with gorgeous yellow grass, going on for miles. And in that meadow was Sal. He had his prosthetic off, and just like Travis remember. He was beautiful. It didn't matter half of his face had scars. It was just the two of them. Laying next to each other, their hands interlocked. It was a dream Travis could only wish could become reality. Only this time. It did.

Chapter Text

Hey sorry this chapter has been taking a while, I've just been kinda stressed lol. Exams are coming up in around 3 weeks and im failing a class, and just overall my mental heath has been draining as well as my motivation. I am almost done with the chapter though, so hopefully I can get it out soon but I don't know when that will be. It may take just one more day, a few more days, another week or until exams are over. Who knows lol.

Still, thank you guys so much on the support for this fic, it means so much to me and I never thought it would get this big at all. I appreciate every comment I receive here and read each and every one of them. Until the next chapter💕

Chapter Text

Red and blue lights flashed around Travis in the night sky as he laid down outside the church. Over him, stood Sal who was still wearing that same prothetic, but his hair was longer. Much longer.

"Hold on Trav, it's going to be okay." Sal's voice echoed through his mind, moving to grab Travis's hand.

This was strange. Everything felt slightly off, but it was like he was here. In real-time. With his head ringing, the static seemingly stronger than ever, and the fact that he didn't recognize Sal for a moment

"You just need to stay awake a little longer okay Trav?" Sal said again, but for some reason, his own eyes felt heavy, and he never even bothered to ask why he was laying down, or why he was outside the church.  "He's gone Travis. He-He's gone. You did it. You stopped the-"

The dream went black. Like something pulled Travis out of it and back to the waking world. Travis, suddenly shot up with a gasp, momentary forgetting he was on the couch before he fell off of it. Landing on the floor. "Mother fucker!" He yelled out. Running a hand through his hair.

Shit.

He gripped his hand to his chest, gasping for air. God that was horrible. That was awful. Why did his mind even dream that? It felt so...so realistic as well. It was terrifying. 

Just thinking about it made his stomach churn and his headache worsened. 

He felt sick.

He covered his mouth and stood up, Travis ran to the kitchen sink before puking up stomach acid...as well as the same black tar substance again. 

He coughed, gagging into the sink as his legs shook. What was wrong with him? Something was wrong with him for him to act this way. He was messed up. He had to be messed up. This wouldn't be happening to someone normal.

Travis moved to wipe his mouth, still breathing heavily he moved to grab water before freezing. He looked around the kitchen only to notice it was clean. Everything was picked off the floor, and the drawers were closed. 

Dammit Sal.

Travis sighed and shook his head. Of course, Sal would clean up after his mess. Of course, he wouldn't listen to Travis saying he could clean it up with him. But...it was nice. Travis couldn't deny that. He was partially glad. It was less work he had to do around the house. 

The teen smiled softly at that, glancing to his left, and noticed muffins on the counter.

"What the fuck..?" Travis mumbled pushing himself off and walked to the food. There was also a note stuck to them. He frowned at the paper before picking it up to read, as well as grabbing a muffin to eat. His stomach felt nauseous after every bite. But Travis was starving.

Morning! I had to leave an hour after you fell asleep, but your dad left a voicemail. He said he won't be back until Wednesday of next week. I didn't know what you wanted to eat so I left some muffins out for you! (Lisa brought them over before she took me. They won't go bad as long as the container they're in is closed.) I know you can't come over here. But whenever you wake up and want to hang out just give me a call! I would have loved to stay longer, but my dad didn't like that I didn't tell him about the "sleepover" But for the future as long as I take my meds he doesn't mind!

Also, I cleaned the kitchen up a bit :) you were sleeping and didn't want to wake you. Hope that's okay! 

He smiled softly at the letter and set it down before looking at the clock in the living room  6:35 am  Travis looked away before doing a double take.  6:35 am.  11 hours? Did he sleep for 11 whole hours? 

You didn't sleep at all the previous night . His mind reminded him. Oh yeah. Thats true. In the basement, all Travis did was pass around really. Talking to himself like a crazy person. He did try to sleep. He did. But every time he slipped into unconsciousness. Shadows and demons plagued his visions. 

So sleep became off the table. 

Travis rubbed his eyes and sighed, despite getting 11 hours of sleep, more than he even deserved. He felt exhausted. Like each move was a controlled move by someone moving his body. Travis didn't care. Or see the point in telling anyone. He talked fine. Acted...his normal self. So why bother telling people that the words coming out of his mouth felt robotic?

That he didn't feel real sometimes.

He looked at the phone and grimaced. Would Sal even be awake? He probably wasn't. He could call him later. What Travis needed was a shower. 

He hasn't showered in a day, and the sweat sticking to his body was disgusting. After if nightmare this morning he was already on edge, and this feeling wasn't helping at all. So he trudged his way up the stairs and into the bathroom. 

Turning the shower on Travis's quickly undressed and stepped inside. The water was surprisingly cold, but the teen didn't mind. The cold water helped wake him up. Travis didn't know how long he stayed under the shower. He would put shampoo in his hair, and then stand still under the water. Repeating the process with conditioner. His mind traced back to this morning. 

Back to that nightmare. It was odd. He hasn't felt something like that since....no. better not to think about. Travis ignored the sick feeling he had when Sal was covered in blood.

Stepping out of the shower after Travis's hands were wrinkled and turning the water off, Travis glanced up at the mirror grimacing at himself. He knew it was bad. He ALWAYS got lost in his reflection. Minutes could pass by in seconds and all he could look at was his reflection. He should probably hang mirrors up, but then Kenneth would get pissed off even more.

And that's just what happened. Travis got sucked into the mirror. Got sucked into how ugly he looked. The bruises. His ribs were jutting out in some places and it was all so wrong. Travis didn't want to even look at his back. It was right. He knew it was right. It had to be right That he should rejoice over it. But...he couldn't. It's been way over a month since it happened and still, Travis couldn't face the truth. What a coward. But it still meant something. 

This nightmare he had was the same feeling as that night. Waking up in a daze. His head was throbbing and everything was just so fuzzy. Maybe he was special. That his life had meaning to it. However, despite this newfound hope, The voice in his head wasn't helping as well. Mocking and laughing at him. Telling Travis that he was ugly. That he was disgusting. That Sal could never love someone like him. Why would Sal ever love someone that looked like this? Sal hid his face with a prosthetic. So why can't Travis do th-

Stop. Don't insult Sal. He was attacked. His face was massacred. You have no right to say he's lucky.

Pushing those thoughts away Travis reached for the medicine cabinet behind the door, finally cleaning the cuts on his face after two days. 

He didn't want them to be infected, and since most were already sealed. This wouldn't do much. But he did NOT want to end up with an infection on his face. 

Quickly cleaning the cuts, and any dry blood he missed while in the shower Travis moved to bandage them up, one particular cut on his forehead opening up again after the irritation. Travis placed a bandage on it before wrapping his hand in bandages. Punching a wall after giving someone stitches was probably not the best idea. Especially since that punching made it hurt to even close his hand. 

Travis looked back in the mirror and sighed. It was better. His face was still busted up, but most of it was just bruises now. Travis tilted his neck up and grimaced at the bruises around his neck. Guess those weren't going away anytime soon. 

You deserved that you know. Yelling at your father? You deserved to be suffocated to death. To be choked out and you're eyes pop out of your head 

"Shut up." He gritted his teeth. "Just shut the fuck up."

Or what? You know the only way to shut me up is to just end it all. Or are you too much of a coward to do that as well Travis? 

He gripped the edges of the counter, gritting his teeth. "Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!" Travis cried out. But the voice got even louder. Anger washed over him as he pushed himself away from the counter, storming into his room again, and opened his nightstand, pulling the fake bottom out from it and pulling the pocket knife out.

The voice was taunting him. Mocking him. It was just so much why won't it stop it was all just so- 

Suddenly it was silent. 

Travis was breathing heavily, looking down at his shaking arm. Blood was dripping down from the fresh wounds he created. "Fuck." Travis swallowed. He had no memory of even doing that. That couldn't be good, could it? Well then again he always zoned out when cutting his arm up. Slowly moving back to the bathroom to wash his arm and knife off. Seven minutes later he set the clean knife on the counter, it folded up already as he stared at his arm. 

"God dammit," Travis mumbled to himself, reaching for the saline solution he used for his face and dabbed it on his arm for another few minutes. 

After that Travis threw the cloth away, grabbing a dry cloth to dry his arm before he wrapped it in bandages again. Finally, after ten minutes his arm was clean. Travis buried his head in his hands and sank to the floor. He didn't do that for days. Almost a week. But he just had t

He then pulled a white undershirt on, buttoning it up, and grabbed a purple sweater, tossing it over. Then the same old jeans and socks. Cleaning the bathroom up he walked downstairs. 

Travis's stomach growled, even louder this time. He gritted his teeth walked back to where Sal left the muffins and grabbed another one, glancing back at the note. Finishing the muffin he walked to the phone, dialing Sal's number in hopes Sal would pick up.

"Hello?" Sal asked on the other end and God he sounded beautiful. 

"Hey. Uh. Hey. It's Travis.."

"Travis!" Sal gasped. "Finally awake I see!" He chuckled. "How are you?" 

Finally awake? He's been awake already. 

"Good," Travis said softly. "I uh, saw the note. And the muffins. Thank you." 

"Oh of course man."

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over again?" Travis asked hopefully. "You're not said you wouldn't mind."

"I would love to!" Sal hummed. "What time is it? By the way?"

"Uh..."Travis looked behind him at the clock seeing the time. "10:20."

Wait.

10:20!?

Was he really in the bathroom for that long? Holy shit. That was hours. Over four hours. That was weird. Today was weird. Ever since that nightmare, he was woken up from, (spitting up that same black goop), everything was off. Travis felt more dissociated from his body. And now he spent four fucking hours in the bathroom? That made him question even more things.

How long was he in the shower?

How long did he get lost in his reflection?

How long was he staring at his fucked up arms, listening to a voice that swallowed his mind?

Another loud growl snapped him from his body and he clutched his stomach. Shit he was still hungry. Really hungry. 

"Perfect. We can be there around 12. Is that cool?" Travis heard Sal on the other end.

"Sure. Wait- we!?" 

Sal hung up, leaving Travis shocked. What did Sal mean by why? Who was coming as well? Todd? Ashley? Larry? God, he hoped it wasn't Larry. 

But 2 hours. He had 2 hours of being here alone. Might as well eat something. Travis hung the phone up and walked back to the kitchen, looking at the muffins Sal had kindly left for him. It didn't feel right even after all these weeks. Over a month of this and Travis still felt like he didn't deserve any of it. 

Quickly eating the rest of the muffins, Travis still felt hungry. Maybe hardly eating anything for the past three days was the reason for this. It wasn't like he  didn't  want to eat! He still did! Just...sometimes he forgot. Sometimes the hunger pains weren't that bad. 

After throwing the container in the trash, Travis looked to the counter, the Polaroid still sitting where he left it. Taped up. Like it was a delicate flower Travis picked it up, carefully walking up the stairs and into his room. Walking to a wall he sat down, unscrewed the loose vent, and pulled it off, placing the photo down while he grabbed the cassette player. 

He put the headphones connected to them over his ears and walked to his bed, laying down, and pressed play. 

Immediately being transported to another realm. Music that he was never allowed to hear. Music that his father would beat him for hearing flooded his head.

He loved it.

Soon. After some time. Travis heard a faint knock through the music. 

"Shit-" Travis quickly wiped his eyes. "Coming!" He yelled out, pulling it off of it his ears and quickly standing up and running to the vent again, shoving the player inside. "Coming!" He said again as he screwed it shut. Once it was closed he ran to the door, wiping his eyes again. Travis took a breath before opening it. 

Sal and Larry were outside. 

Sal.

And

Larry.

"What the fuck?" Travis frowned. 

"Surprise!" Sal smiled. He was wearing his normal pigtails but with a black jacket, a blue shirt, leggings, and a black skirt. He was carrying a plastic bag.

Larry wore a grey t-shirt with the band Sanity Falls on it as well as ripped jeans. His hair was tied back into a ponytail, and he was carrying a radio. "Hey, Phelps."

"I-" Travis frowned, stepping back when the two made their way inside. "What are you doing here?"

"Keeping you company." Sal smiled. 

"Cool. Why the hell do you have a radio? If anyone finds ou-"

"Relax Travis." Larry chuckled. "Sal here cared about you so much and basically said the same thing. So he bought some gospel music to listen to. So if anyone does hear they'll just be thinking you're blasting the lord's music!"

Travis couldn't help but blush a bit. Sal really did that? Took time out of his day, bought music just for Travis to listen to with them so he wouldn't get in trouble. 

Sal on the other hand grew stiff at that, prosthetic covering a dark red face. He looked over to Larry while the taller teen snorted. "What?" Larry laughed. "All I said was you care for him!" 

"Let's just- get the music on!" Sal said through quick breaths. "Have you eaten?" He asked Travis as Larry moved to the living room, placed a tape inside, and turned it on. Imminently, the song "Sometimes by Step by Rich Mullins" played.

"Oh- I, ate like two-three hours ago" Travis mumbled. "Thank you for the muffins."

"Of course." Sal smiled. 

"Y'know my mom said she was really glad you liked her food yesterday," Larry said smugly walking back to the two. "Even said she wouldn't mind you coming over for dinner some night." He hummed. 

If Travis was drinking water he would choke. "Wh-what!?" 

"Yeah. She says she misses you. And thinks that it would be nice to see you again."

"I-" Travis stammered. "I- well y'know I can't leave." He frowned.

"After your grounded." Larry rolled his eyes. "Anyways. What do you have to eat? Im starving."

Sal scoffed. "You don't need to steal Travis's food." Sal rolled his eyes, looking at Travis. "We brought our own." 

He glanced at the plastic bag on the table and nodded. "Right..." Travis mumbled. "I guess I'm not that hungry...but I can eat something?" Travis's stomach growled as if on cue. Embarrassment swept over his face. "I'll just make a sandwich." He huffed walking pasted the two and opening the fridge, grabbing the milk and bologna before opening the pantry for the bread.

Sal and Larry brought a sandwich of their own, a grilled cheese sandwich. Soon the three began to eat, every so often Larrt glanced at Travis.

"So..." He spoke, eyeing the bologna in the sandwich. Todd told us everything." Larry hummed. "About the fight."

Travis tensed up at that. Because what did he tell him? "He did.?" He asked, taking a bite out of the sandwich again.

Larry nodded "You punched the shit out of him for bullying Todd!" He chuckled. "He needed so many stitches it was insane."

Travis shifted in his seat nervously as Larry talked. "I've never seen you that angry ever! Your eyes were like red and everything!"

It was now Sal's turn to look at Larry. "wait what?"

"You don't remember?" Larry looked to Sal, opening his mouth again to speak before the realization hit him. Travis's eyes were glowing red. That wasn't good.

"Dance!" Sal laughed, grabbing Travis's hands and pulled him up.

"I don't- I can't dance!" He hissed. Travis really couldn't. He really couldn't. Who could dance to this type of music? People just listen

"Anyone can dance!" Sal giggled. "C'mon, man! Just- Jump up and down and bounce your head. Like I showed you at the lake!"

"Yeah go on Travis. Dance as you did at the lake." Larry smirked smugly.

Travis rolled his eyes at that."You're just gonna sit there?"

"Yep!" Larry chuckled. "You've. Ugh, man. this headache. Headbanging makes it worse." He said, dramatically drapping a hand over his head. "Dance without me." 

Travis scoffed before looking over at Sal. Slowly taking his hand once again, standing up as the two teens walked away from the couch. At first, it was just moving their arms to the music. Flexing them out then bending the other one as they jumped. 

Travis spun Sal, laughing himself. A smile grew brighter and brighter on the boy and his fears slowly washed away. All that was on his mind was Sal. Sal and his beautiful hair. Sal and his beautiful face. Sal and his beautiful eyes that squint whenever he smiles. Sal and his beautiful...everything. 

The two danced some more, dancing to song after song. Spinning each other around like dance was the only thing they knew until the two couldn't stand, falling back to the couch in laughter.

"I-Ok that was fun." Travis chuckled breathing heavily. Who knew dancing would take so much out of you?

"See?" Sal laughed, breathing heavily as well. "Shit, I'm getting light-headed." Sal laughed, moving to unbuckle the bottom strap of his prosthetic. 

"You okay man? I can grab water." Larry asked worriedly and sat up.

"I-it fine," Sal said, lifting the mask up just enough so Travis could see his  lipsmouth and half-missing chin.

"I'll get water." Travis stood up, feeling a bit dizzy himself but walked forth to the kitchen. Quickly pouring the water into two cups, he grabbed a straw for Sal and came back to the couch. "Here." He said gently handing it to Sal.

He looked at Travis, smiling. 

Travis could see him. Smiling again. 

"Thank you," Sal said, but Travis could hardly hear him over his heart beating faster and faster. Sal was missing a part of his lips. but that didn't change anything. His smile was breathtaking. He chugged the water down, hopping it would hide his blushing face. 

The rest of the day went slow as well, but Sal didn't mind. Not being able to turn on the Tv after ten minutes of trying sucked, but that didn't bother Sal or Larry. They listened to more music and talked about new movie releases. (Maybe ones he could see with Sal.) They forced Larry to dance some more, laughing and smiling like teenagers should do. 

Finally, after sitting on the couch again exhausted, chugging down more water, Travis brought out, A car horn honked outside suddenly.

Larry sighed and stood up, stretching. "Well, that's probably Mom." He hummed, setting the glass of his own water on the table costar and looked at Travis. "I'll admit. This was fun, you're actually becoming tolerable to hang around." He said walking to the radio and grabbing it. "Have fun with your week of freedom." 

"We should get going. This was fun though. I enjoyed it." Sal hummed. "We still need to do that movie. Maybe I could come around again?"

Travis nodded, his face red. "Yeah-" He croaked out. Sal wanted to see that movie with him still. Just the two of them. Alone.

"Bye, Trav." Sal waved and moved to stand up.

"Yeah bye,  Trav ." Larry teased out walking to the front door and opened it for Sal.

Travis watched as Sal started to leave as well before a thought came to mind. He couldn't be here. Not alone. Not now.

"Wait, Sal!" Travis stepped forwards, looking as Sal turned back. He looked back to Larry for a moment.

"I'll tell Lisa that you'll be there in a moment. Don't take too long." He smirked at the two, leaving before Sal could say anything.

Sal shook his head chuckling "Yeah, what's up?" He asked Travis.

He breathed in "Can I stay the night at your place?" Travis asked."The-uh- Larry said. Lisa wouldn't mind if I came over. Could that be tonight?"

The blue hair boy was taken aback by that. "Wouldn't you get in trouble?"

Yes, he would. If anyone saw him. He'd probably be killed. But he couldn't be here. He was still on edge from that dream. Travis shook his head. "No. And I'll just be for one night. Please, Sal." He didn't want to be here alone. The whispering, the shadows. He felt like he was going crazy sometimes.

Sal nodded slowly. "You...really do look exhausted," Sal said softly. "I didn't want to say it in front of Larry...but I'm guessing you've been struggling to sleep?"

Travis laughed. "That obvious?" He fell asleep with Sal last night, in mere seconds. It was one of the best sleep he had. Well minus the whole nightmare. At least for a moment, he was at peace.

Sal nodded slowly, pity filling his eyes. "Lisa won't mind you staying over at her place. My dad is over there anyways, so me and Larry were gonna sleep there, Im sure she won't mind Travis." He sighed. "I just want to make sure you can actually get sleep. Your eyebags are becoming worse than mine"

He smiled weakly. "Thank you," Travis said in relief. He didn't know why he was so scared. That never happened before to the point he couldn't stand being in this house due to what? A nightmare? He really was pathetic wasn't he?

Chapter Text

"I'm glad you enjoyed my cooking so much you wanted to come over." Lisa chuckled as she, Sal, Larry, and Henry set the table and food. Gizmo, being gizmo was sleeping on Lisa's couch, ears perking up every time someone mentioned anything about food. Travis wouldn't admit it, but the cat was growing on him. 

"Well, I'm glad you let me come. I wasn't sure since I asked last minute" Travis said awkwardly. "Are you sure I can't help?" He asked as Henry placed the bowls filled with soup onto the table, placing spoons, and a glass of water next to the bowl. 

"Nonsense!" Lisa smiled looking up at Travis. "You're a guest in this place. Besides, it's been years since you've been over. It's good to have you back." She smiled. "Come, sit!" 

Right. It had been years since he'd been here. Before Jim had left before Megan had died, before his mother left. But now he felt like a stranger. Slowly Travis did that, sitting down with everyone else, and looking down at the delicious soup. Seeing as Larry and Sal started to eat.

"Did you want to pray?" Henry asked all of a sudden. "I never asked you."

Travis froze at that, looking up. "What?" 

"Pray." Henry offered. "I know you and your father do it, I haven't done it in a while but I don't mind."

Travis swallowed thickly at that looking back down to his food. Since when did he forget to pray? What was wrong with him? He's never forgotten to pray at all...right?

Spoons clicked against bowls and a soft voice began to speak to him "It's fine if you don't." Sal spoke.

"Uh..." He swallowed, still not looking up at Sal. Eyes were on him. He could feel their eyes digging into his skin like daggers. "Yeah. We don't." Travis mumbled. He shifted his spoon into the food, it looked good. It smelled so good as well. Eyes still lingered on him, but slowly he heard the clatter of spoons again, and the rise of talking. Thank god

He slowly ate the soup, trying to ignore the nausea that rose with every bite. He didn't hate it at all. it was delicious. Better than anything he could make. But that feeling never went away. Only getting worse and worse. 

After dinner, Sal had the bright idea of helping Travis with math. Joking that now he couldn't escape it anymore. After the fight, Sal asked the teachers to give Travis's homework to him. Travis didn't mind. Sort of. He hated math so much. God, he hated it. But Sal was right next to him at the table. Their hands almost touching. Travis could barely breathe. 

Larry had been watching a movie with Lisa and Henry, before standing and said he was heading to the treehouse whenever Sal and Travis were finished. Gizmo was asleep on the ground at Sal's feet, and all Travis was doing was math. Stupid math. Sal tried to help. He did. But going over graphs, and quadratic equations, just didn't process for him

He never memorized the timetable, always counting on his fingers. It took him until last year to understand the 9s trick on his hands. Even stupid addition was hard. "Why are we even doing this shit anyways?" Travis huffed. "Im suspended. And this is just stupid." 

Sal sighed. "One more question okay? How about that?"

"Fine." Travis huffed. 

"How do you write f(x)= √x -1 in interval notation? Remember to find the domain first."

Travis frowned for a moment before writing. x-1>0. So then carry the one...

"x>1?" 

Sal shook his head. "Nope."

Oh. Another way around then.

"x<1."

"Still not it."

"What?" He scoffed. That's how you solve it in class." Travis grumbled. 

"That's just the domain Travis" Sal said calmly. Do you remember interval notation?" 

Travis nodded slowly, before writing the next answer down. "[∞, 1)?"

Sal shook his head slowly

"This is stupid." Travis huffed "I solved it the same way other problems were. How is it wrong?" 

"The square root went all the way on those. This one only goes to x.

Travis looked at the paper, eyes looking back and forth. Sal was right. Of course, he was right. Sal was always right and Travis always got worked up. Tears slowly threatened his eyes. "This is stupid. I'm done." Travis snapped setting his pencil down.

"Travis no c'mon you almost got it." 

"I just don't want to do this anymore. It's stupid. Can we just stop?" Travis begged, looking over to Sal. "We've been at this for an hour already." 

Sal must have seen Travis's tears, because he nodded slowly. "Alright. Just can I tell you how to solve this problem?"

"Fine." Travis huffed, watching Sal slowly. 

Sal took the pencil, writing out the correct steps."It'll be equal to zero. So the answer would be [0,∞) he wrote. "The closed bracket is due to it being greater than, or equal to." 

What the hell?

"Then why is there a 1there? Thats stupid. How is it zero?" Travis snapped angrily. He was stupid. He should know this. Why didn't he know this? It didn't make sense! The answer was 1. It had to of been one. Why does a stupid line being short change it so fucking much? He digged his nails into his palm as if to stop himself from crying. He couldn't cry now. Not in front of Sal's family. Not because of this stupid fucking math. 

"Don't stress yourself." He heard Henry chuckle from the couch. "I was horrible in math as a kid. Took me ages to understand." He explained. "I thought I sucked at math. Turns out I just took longer to understand it."

"How did you pass then?" Travis asked, wincing as his voice sounded shaky. He wiped his eyes quickly, making sure no tears fell. 

"Tutoring" Henry smiled sadly. "Sal's mom, my ex-wife, Diana was the one who helped." He hummed sadly. Travis noticed Sal look down as well. "But the world's changing son. One day you'll be able to pull up any answer at the tips of your fingertips." 

Travis looked down at his hands confusedly at that. How would he pull up answers on his hand? Was he talking about things like holograms? It didn't matter anyways. That was the future. 

Travis sighed lowering his hands. "Thank you. Sir." He mumbled. "Wish you could tell my father that. Phelps has always been good at math. Except for me." 

"Well, I knew your father in high school." Lisa chimed in, looking at Travis. "He was average in math." 

Travis froze at that news. "You knew my father?" He asked.

"Mhm. We weren't close or anything. But I knew him." Lisa chuckled. 

"Did you know my mom?" Travis asked, his heart racing. He knew all about Kenneth's time in high school. From his frequent rants about how Travis was bringing shame to the family name.

But he knew nothing of his mothers.

"I did." Lisa smiled softly. "She was in some of my classes, and I wouldn't say we...were friends. But we were really close to each other." 

"H-how-" Travis stammered. "Do you know how she met my father?'

"I don't." Lisa smiled softly. "I'm sorry baby. All I know is they started dating when they turned 18, and had you a few years later." 

"I see." He swallowed, looking over to Sal, who was still by his side. His eyes looked like they ached. Whether they ached for Travis, or for his mother he didn't. "Thank you, Ms- Lisa. Thank you, Lisa." 

"Of course." She smiled softly.

Travis looked over to Sal, smiling back at him weakly. "I...sorry about...complaining over the math." He grumbled. He still feels angry about it. It made his skin itch. Why couldn't he understand it?

"It's okay." Sal chuckled. "Wanna come out to the treehouse? That's where Larry went a few minutes ago, and we have a while before needing to head to bed."

"Oh yeah. You and Larry have school still." 

Sal chuckled. "We can't all be suspended." Sal teased and stood up. "It is a cool place. I go there when I'm stressed a lot."

Travis nodded slowly. "Sure..?"

"Cool!" Sal smiled. "We're headed towards the treehouse!" Sal called out, petting Gizmo as he walked to Larry's room with Travis behind him. "He has a backdoor that leads outside. C'mon! You can borrow a jacket. Larry won't mind!"

                                                                         
The treehouse smelled. That was the first thing Travis noticed. He didn't know what the smell was, but it smelled. Larry was sitting on a beanbag, wrapping a plant in paper. That was weird. It also felt thick. Travis didn't know how to explain it. The air felt thick. Like something was sucking the life out of Travis. He didn't like it here, but wouldn't tell Sal or Larry. He was a guest here. It would be rude.

It was different. He remembered being here as a kid. Even remembered seeing Jim build it for Larry. But now here was dim, it was dark and just dull.

"Thank God you two are done with math. It's been ages!" Larry laughed as Sal and Travis sat down. 

"Dude it was only an hour. Besides you just got here five minutes ago." Sal laughed. 

"Still! So long! Why even do math now? Travis is suspended"

"See?" Travis rose an eyebrow to Sal. "Larry gets me." He chuckled. 

"Ok! Ok!" Sal giggled. "I just want to help. Besides you're still gonna need to do all the work you missed."

Will he? "I mean...if I don't graduate what's the point? I'm gonna be taking over the church at 18."

"Dude still. Graduating is huge- I mean do you even want to run the church?" Larry asked, "That's like...a huge contentment."

"No," Travis said immediately, shocking even himself. "I- I- mean..." He took a breath before shaking his head. "I don't want to run the church."

"So why do it?"

"Because I have to." He huffed, crossing his arms. "I have to run the church. It's destiny for me."

"And who said that?" Sal now asked 

His father. His dreams. Everyone at church. The Phelps legacy. 

Travis crossed his arms and looked down. "I don't want to run it. But I have to." 

"What about college? I mean, I'm going to a community college, but are you gonna go?" 

Travis shook his head. "There's no point. My father didn't go to college. He ran the church at 18 as well. Besides what is college going to help with?"

"A lot...of things?" Sal laughed, "Helps you find a job"

"Well, I'm going to run the church." Travis crossed his arms. "So." 

"Well, I guess your right." Sal frowned under his prosthetic. 

The group talked a bit more, however for Travis he could barely make out their words. Everything seemed to mush together, vaguely he heard Larry talking about Ashley, but he could be hearing things wrong.

Travis's head hurt. A sharp pain hit him and he groaned, rubbing his head. He felt exhausted. His eyes slowly closed as his head dropped, before snapping it up. 

"Woah! You okay Trav?" Sal asked quietly. Though his voice seemed so..so loud. 

"Yeah." Travis blinked a couple of times, eyes adjusting to the dark tree house. Since when did it get dark? "Just..tired. or something. Didn't sleep well." He mumbled. The ringing not going away. 

It was almost like he could hear someone talking to him.

Another voice. Like it was calling him.

"Didn't you get like 15 hours of sleep?" Sal chuckled "You practically fell asleep in minutes." 

"It uh..it wasn't 15. It was ten. But still feel exhausted." Travis groaned. "Being honest everything has felt...fuzzy since the ba-fight."

"Fuzzy how?" Larry asked lighting his joint that made the same smell as the treehouse.

Travis glared at him. "You're really doing that now?"

"What?" Larry scoffed. "It's weed. Relax. It helps me sleep, Phelps. You should try it." He smirked. 

Travis rolled his eyes. "Well have fun with your gateway drug." He grumbled and leaned his head back on the wall. And an idea popped into his mind. "Does it really help you sleep?"

Larry snorted, taking another hit. "Yep," he hummed. "Helps me relax and everything."

"Says the one who stays up until four in the morning drawing." Sal teased.

"Art doesn't wait little dude" Larry laughed.

Travis looked between the two laughing and frowning. They seemed so close. Maybe if he wasn't an ass all this time he could have had what they had. Maybe if he didn't push Larry away, push everyone away he wouldn't feel so trapped as he did these past years. Maybe things could have been different. He could be different. "I think I've only gotten...like 15 hours of sleep in the past three days. And I just feel exhausted." He felt weird. Like out of his body. He could hear and respond easily, but it felt like nothing was processing. This was happening more and more often 

"That's..." Sal spoke up. "That's like. 2 hours the other nights...at most 3." 

"Well, I couldn't sleep at all Monday night. So..." Travis mumbled quietly. No wonder that punishment was so rare. It was probably worse than the beatings. Utter isolation. No windows. No lights besides one at the top of the stairs. "And for Sunday I kept having nightmares. Even today I had a...weird one. Probably why I'm still so out of it."

"What was it about?"

Travis frowned. "Like- a weird future thing? I- don't know." He said. "It was us in the future."

"Like a vision?" Sal asked.

"Vision?" Travis shook his head. "No. I- no. It was just a dream. A really weird one. Made me feel sick and threw up after." 

"I'm sorry man." Larry frowned. "That sucks." 

Travis shrugged, shifting on the ground "Have you seen other ghosts here? Like...besides Megan and all...I know Sal and you....Fucking Todd knows this place is haunted. So I was just curious if other ghosts were here."

"Why are you asking this stuff huh? Do you see shit, Travis?" Larry snorted, before his smile faded, remembering that Travis probably DID see stuff. He met with Megan, and he saw the red-eye demon just like Larry did.

Travis's breath hitched at that. Anger suddenly swarmed him. Of course, they'd ask that. Of course, they would think he saw shit "Can we go inside? I'm getting cold." Travis grumbled moving to stand up. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. He wasn't like Sal. They'll think he was crazy.

Larry and Sal looked over at each other and frowned worriedly. 

"Sure. Yeah...yeah me too." Sal sighed, looking at Larry. "You coming?" 

"Yeah." He is said, snubbing out the joint, and stood up. "I guess I'm cold as well...Sorry Phelps." He sighed, climbing down the ladder of the treehouse, soon after Sal and Travis followed. 

Travis made his way down slowly. Shakily. His stomach felt sick and he wanted to hide away from this. Escaping back to the peacefulness of nothing. The buzzing only grew louder even after leaving the treehouse and god dammit it was just becoming overwhelming again. The soft buzz from nature. The crunch in the grass. He wanted it to stop.

"Hey. You okay?" Sal gently asked Travis. 

He snapped his head back, seeing Sal standing behind him worriedly. "I-"

"You weren't moving, and just standing still...I wanna make sure you're okay. I'm sorry about what happened in the treehouse."

Travis opened his mouth slowly before frowning. He wasn't. He really wasn't okay. But at this point what was okay? How was he supposed to know what wasn't or was normal? "I'm just tired." Travis smiled weakly. 

Sal looked at him with worried eyes.

Eyes that made Travis melt. "I'll...tell you if I'm not okay?"

"Yeah." Sal nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry if we said anything-"

"No. No, you didn't at all" Travis shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just...I was tired and cold. Thats all." It wasn't even a lie. Travis was exhausted. Today was so much fun, but he just felt drained completely. 

Sal's face still didn't seem like he believed Travis. But he nodded slowly. "Im..sure Larry has extra clothes for you to wear tonight." He chuckled, seemingly changing the topic easily. "We don't have an extra mattress. But we do have a sleeping bag. If that okay?"

"Thats completely okay." Travis smiled. "Thank you for today. You and Larry coming over...and then letting me come here. You didn't have to do that."

"Of course I did. That's what friends are for yeah?"

Blush crept on his face. "Yeah- Yeah that's-" he chuckled. "Yeah. Im gonna uh..head in now. And change." Travis sputtered out before quickly moving to walk back into Larry's room, not daring to look back. 

Chapter Text

Sal woke up in white nothingness. The opposite of pitch black. Sal had been here multiple times in the past years. Whether that be from talking to the Phantom, also known as Jim, having nightmares upon nightmares, or just visions. It was always here.

Only this time was different. A woman with a brown skin tone appeared in front of Sal. She had long curled black hair, a yellow dress, and a terrified expression looked upon Sal.

"You need to find him."

"Find who?" Sal asked. "I don't understand. Who do I need to find? I want to help you." 

Slowly the white world shifted in front of him, and soon, a familiar set of stairs appeared in front of him. Whoever this person was, was walking into the cult's temple. Worry sept through Sal. Was this a cult member? Maybe one that lost its path and died below, needing help.

This figure stepped into the bottom of the temple, looking around slowly.

"This way" a cheerful voice echoed through his mind, however for a moment it felt sinister. Like a facade.

A facade would be correct. Whoever this person was, was looking at the women. She smiled, beckoning them closer to an open gate deeper into the temple. However, the appearance wasn't real. 

For a split second, the red-eye demon was shown. 

Fear started to creep into him. Did the demon kill this person? Was their body still here? Oh god. How long ago was this? 

The person stepped forwards, before crunching their bare feet on bones. They looked down, and Sal was able to catch a familiar guitar on the shirt.

The same shirt he gave Travis last night. 

Travis . 

This was Travis.

There was another snap behind him, and now Travis whirled around, lucidly slowly coming back to him. "Hello?" Travis called out. "Sal? Larry? How the fuck...what is this place?" He mumbled to himself, looking down and seeing the pentagram. "Oh fuck-" Travis gasped, backing away slowly. He looked wildly around him, the red eye demon or that woman was nowhere to be seen. 

Travis's panicked gaze stopped on the sign above the gate. "May our sight pierce the heavens, and our reach be infinite and everlasting" 

Sal could hear Travis's breathing start to quicken. His legs were shaking and Travis started to grip onto his shoulders tightly. "No. No that- that can't-" His eyes stopped on the cult's banister that held their symbol. "Oh God no-" His heart raced even more. Travis gasped out for air before his legs buckled to the ground. 

Suddenly the world turned white again, and the familiar woman stood in front of Sal.

Find my son Sal Fisher Please. Keep him safe.

Sal gasped as he shot up, breathing heavily. His body shook and his eyes were wide. What the hell just happened? 

He looked over to the sleeping bag next to him frowning. 

Where was Travis?

The last few moments of the vision came flashing through him, a sick feeling growing inside. Travis was in danger.

"Larry!" Sal hissed, throwing his pillow at the bed Larry sat on. 

He scrunched his eyes and jumped up "Ow! What the fuck man!" Larry whined "It's too early...go to bed" he grumbled, turning his back to Sal. 

"Travis isn't here!' Sal hissed out, moving to stand up.

Larry rubbed his eyes and frowned. "Of course, he's here he's-" Larry frowned looking down at the empty sleeping bag. "Oh shit."

"I know where he is. Come on." Sal said, moving to grab a flashlight.

"Slow down- how? Where is he?" Larry asked moving to stand up and grabbed his jacket. "I'm still half asleep." He yawned as if on cue.

"Look-" Sal stammered. "I had a weird dream vision thing. Travis is in danger. He's in the temple."

"The Addison temple below us?" 

"Yes."

"How!?" 

Sal opened Larry's door slowly, walking out. "I- The red eye demon led him in a trance- with what I'm sure was an image of his mom." He whispered. 

"His mom?" Larry whispered as they walked out of the apartment. Looking ahead of them, sure enough, the door to the empty apartment was open. 

"Well, shit," Larry grumbled.

"Told you," Sal grumbled walking to the door. "I was seeing through Travis's eyes. Sort of. I don't know. He came out of his trance and started to panic" Sal said as they entered, looking at the torn carpet and the trapdoor wide open. 

"I would too if I woke up in a satanic cult." Larry frowned, slowly walking down. "Do you know where exactly he is?"

Sal shook his head, worry seeping through him even more. "At the entrance maybe? Im not sure." The teen frowned. "Just- what if something bad happened to him? Larry, he was seeing the red eye demon. What if he's already a host to it?" 

"Well..." The teen frowned. "I'm sure he'll be safe okay?" Larry said. Sal didn't believe him, and frankly, Larry didn't believe himself. There was a high chance Travis could already be a host, which if was the case...A lot of things would make sense. 

Soon they entered the base of the temple, Sal flashed his flashlight across the room in hopes to find something. It was creepier here at night than at day. He felt eyes watching him in every corner. He kept shining his light as they walked, before stopping on something. Or someone. 

"Travis!" Both Sal and Larry gasped.

Travis was laying on the ground limp and unmoving.

"Oh. Oh fuck" Larry cursed, quickly rushing up to the teen along with a panicked Sal.

"Please don't tell me-"

Sal's face widened in horror quickly moving a hand over Travis's mouth, sighing in relief. "He's breathing." Sal tried to shake the teen awake with a bit more strength than he attended. "Travis. Travis hey you gotta wake up. C'mon Travis." Travis was fine. He had to be fine. He had to be. 

Sal couldn't lose someone else he loved. "Travis wake up please wake the fuck up. I know you can hear me just wake up" 

Travis groaned, slowly opening his eyes.

Sal let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and stepped back "Oh thank God. Are you okay?" Sal asked, helping Travis sit up. Larry quickly took his jacket off, wrapping it around Travis seeing as the boy shook. Even with long sleeves, Travis was freezing.

He slowly closed his eyes again, blinking as he looked around. Travis opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again. The first thing Sal noticed was his hands were shaking. A lot. The second was that Travis seemed calm. Way too calm to be in a situation like this.

"Do you know where we are?" Sal asked worriedly. 

Travis took a moment before shaking his head slowly.

Oh. Ok then. "It's okay if you don't. I'm here for you." Sal said gently. He knew a few things about dissociating. And Travis was dissociating. Hard. Thankfully he could hear Sal, but the two needed to get him out of there. Quickly. "How about we leave this place him?" He asked. "Do you wanna go back to Larry's? Im pretty cold here."

Travis didn't respond for a few seconds but slowly nodded. "Yeah." He said weakly.

"Good." Sal smiled. "Do you need help standing up?" Sal asked, watching as Travis looked at him hesitantly, his hand slowly reaching out before pulling it back to his chest.

"That's alright." Sal hummed. "I'm here if you need me." He said and stood up, Travis, slowly stood up as well. "Whenever we get out get your mom Larry." 

Larry nodded, looking at Travis worriedly still. It was so strange. Travis was so quiet, so...not himself. Even as his non-asshole self, Travis was snarky. He had a certain personality to him. But now that personally was gone and all Larry could see was a scared child. 

Sal and Larry walked close to Travis. Just in case anything happened, but made sure to keep enough distance so he wasn't crowded as they made their way up the steps carefully. Soon they made it out of the trapdoor, Larry closed it before moving the carpet on top of it as well as they walked out of the apartment shutting the door behind. Larry moved the shelf, cringing at the nose it made back into place before looking over at Sal and Travis. 

However, the calm didn't last. As they reached the vending machine, Travis's legs buckled below him and he fell to the ground, Sal quickly falling with him. Travis gagged before throwing up on the ground. Black tar mixed with dinner fell out of him. 

"What the fuck-" Larry cursed. "That's not normal at all."

Sals eyes widened at the sight, remembering how a while ago Travis was throwing up the same black tar. It made him wonder if that had anything to do with the red-eye demon. If his theory was correct, Travis was already a host for the demon. 

"Get your mom." Sal breathed out. "Just get your mom Larry." 

He watched as Larry left before looking back to Travis, the boy was coughing and gagging on whatever else came out. It was a pitiful sight to see. Travis was shaking, and now fresh tears were dripping down his cheeks silently.

"Your safe Travis." He whispered softly. "You're in the hallway of the basement. Your safe." Sal whispered. He didn't believe himself still. Because Travis wasn't okay. He was puking tar up, he walked into the cult's temple. He passed out! 

"Sal? What's going on? Larry woke us up-" Henry and Lisa walked out of the apartments and frowned, seeing Sal crouched with a shaking Travis next to him. Fresh tear marks were stained on the teen's cheeks. 

Lisa gasped. "Oh baby" She frowned, quickly walking up to the two but stopped when Travis flinched back, eyes wide. 

"You're okay," Sal said. "Lisa just wants to help. Do you need help getting up?" 

Travis looked at Sal slowly, thinking for a moment before he nodded.

"Okay then." Sal smiled, slowly holding Travis's hand, lifting him off the floor, supporting Travis's weight all over his body. "I got you, Trav. You're okay." Sal said gently, slowly leaving Travis back inside the apartment with Lisa and Henry close behind. 

"What happened?" Henry asked as Sal helped Travis sit on the couch. 

"Sleepwalking I think." Larry chimed in. "Probably uh. Slept walked."

"He's also dissociating really badly, I haven't seen him doing it, but it does seem bad.

Lisa nodded. "I'll go make some milk for him, Larry can you stay by his side?" She asked

"Of course." Larry nodded.

"Sal, can we talk?" Henry asked his son, who nodded slowly. Sal looked behind him to Travis worriedly before leaving with his dad into his and Lisa's room. "What happened?" Henry asked shutting the door behind him. 

"What do you mean?"

"I know he wasn't sleepwalking. What really happened?" Henry asked. "If anything is going on with Travis, I want you to tell me."

Sal looked at his dad with wide eyes before frowning. He could tell the truth. Technically. Just not include some parts. "Well-" He stammered. "I had...a nightmare. And when I woke up Travis wasn't there. I woke Larry up and we went to find him."

"You didn't wake us up?"

"Well, he could have been getting something from the kitchen. But when the door was open we kinda panicked." Sal frowned. "He was coughing and throwing up on the ground, shaking badly and that's when Larry went to wake you." 

Henry nodded. "Do you know why he was in the basement?"

Sal shook his head. "I don't.." Sal frowned. "I was just so...worried about him when he wasn't there. I'm sorry I didn't wake you up sooner."

Henry chuckled, shaking his head. "So worried you didn't grab your prosthetic?" He asked.

Sals eyes widened at that and he went to his face, realizing that he was in fact, not wearing his prosthetic. "I- didn't realize-" Sal stammered. He didn't grab it? Everyone saw his face- 

"It's good to see your face sometimes son." Henry smiled softly. "But you care a lot about Travis. Don't you?"

Sal nodded slowly. "I really do." 

Henry chuckled. "Well. It's past 3 am, and you guys get up for school in 3 hours anyway. Say this. You and Larry can sleep in, and we can take you later."

"What about Travis?"

"He can stay here if he wants." Henry smiled. "And I won't tell Kenneth about this, unless Travis wants me to," Henry explained. 

Sal let a breath of fresh air out, smiling. "Thank you, Dad."

"Course." He chuckled, turning to the door as it opened again, Lisa walked through. 

"I just gave Travis some warm milk, he's in Larry's room now." She explained. "He's a bit more grounded, but I would still say to keep things calm." Lisa smiled sadly at Sal.

"Thank you, Lisa." 

"Of course. Get some rest okay Sal?" Lisa said.

"I will. Goodnight." The boy said before leaving the room, and let a breath of relief out. Travis was okay. He was gonna be okay. "You feeling better?" Sal asked walking into Larry's room again, seeing Travis sitting on the bed. His head leaning against the wall with Gizmo on top of his lap. Larry was sitting on the mattress in front of him. He hesitantly went to grab his prosthetic hanging on the wall but pulled away. What good would it do now? He had it off this whole time anyways. 

Travis nodded slowly. "Yeah." He said quietly, "Lisa heated some milk for me...n'Gizmo came to sit down." Travis mumbled, gently petting the cat, who was eyeing the glass filled with milk Travis was drinking. "Everything still is off a bit for me. Like I'm dreaming but it's uh better. It wasn't as bad as before." He explained.

"You scared the shit out of us dude. What happened?" Larry asked, scooting over for Sal to sit down next to him.

"I don't know?" He mumbled. "I heard voices- and I thought I saw my mom? It was like a dream- so I just followed her. But then- I don't know. I was pulled out of it." Travis wrinkled his brow. 

"Pulled out?" Sal frowned. So it was his mom. But would that mean she died? She wasn't a ghost. Sal didn't think. Maybe if she had a part in the cult, or is in hiding she could have sent a message over. But how would she know his name? This was getting weirder and weirder. Maybe if she was in the cult she learned how to send messages in dreams. Sal has heard about that from Todd. Sending a message from your conscience to someone else. Maybe she did that in hiding. 

"I don't know how to explain it. It felt like I was ripped away from dreaming and forced awake. That's when I noticed where I was." Travis shuddered. "And what I saw." He said as he finished the milk, setting the empty glass on the dresser. 

"Well...We're glad you're okay. You just- scared us." Sal frowned. Seeing Travis's limp body on the ground was terrifying. He could have been dead. And there was nothing Sal could have done to help.

"Sorry," Travis whispered, looking down. Gizmo slowly pushed his head on Travis's hand, leaning onto his stomach before purring. Gizmo was a good cat. Whenever Sal was having panic attacks or any breakdown. Or even just stressed! Gizmo was always there for him. Gizmo was a good boy.

"Don't apologize." Larry sighed. "I mean I've never been in a trance by a fucking demon leading me to my death-" He stopped himself grimacing. "But I have seen..that demon. The one you see."

Travis's head shot up faster than Sal could blink. "You have?"

Larry nodded. "Been seeing it ever since my dad left, thought I was going crazy but Sal could see it as well."

"So- what happened?"

"We killed it," Sal explained. "Or so we thought. Todd made a machine that blasted away its energy."

"But not all of it I guess," Travis grumbled. "Just my luck. Im being haunted by a demon and led into a Satanist cult-" Travis stopped himself. His eyes widened in horror before shaking it away. "It doesn't matter. It was probably in my head."

"What was?" The bluenette asked. "The temple?" 

"The things I saw there. As you said. I was in a trance by a demon before- zoning completely out of my mind. Obviously, I'm remembering things wrong." 

"Travis," Larry spoke up, seeing how nervous the teen was growing. He didn't want to make Travis leave. But whatever Travis saw. They needed to know. "What did you see there?" 

Travis opened his mouth before closing it again, looking at Sal worriedly. 

"We just want to help. You're not crazy at all Travis okay? We want to help but you need to tell us what you saw." 

Travis nodded slowly. "It's still kinda a blur. I don't remember everything... But I remember seeing a symbol."

The cult's symbol. 

"I've seen that symbol before. The ones in the temple all over. My father told me it was a sign that God had chosen me so he-" Travis held his breath, eyes searching something. "After I had a dream about it he-" Travis couldn't say it. So, he looked at the two angrily before looking down at Gizmo, who purred loudly against him.

"Travis, what did he do?" Sal asked worriedly. What else did that prick do to Travis? A sick feeling rooted its way into Sal. If Travis knew that symbol. Then he's seen it before. That sick feeling didn't go away, but only got worse as bits and pieces filled itself in Sal's mind. "What if that symbol is on him?" It would explain Travis refusing to wear anything but long sleeves, flinching hard whenever someone touched his back. Hell. It would explain the red marks he saw on Travis's back a month ago. 

Please let it not be true. Please, God. Not Travis. Anyone but the sweet, kind, beautiful Travis he got to know. Travis didn't deserve this. He already seemed so tired. Sal could handle this. But not Travis. He didn't deserve to live in fear his whole life. Praying to a God who he thought hated him. Living in fear of his own father, believing he deserved to be hit. Deserved to be abused. And now this? A sick twisted man delusional into thinking he could take down God, forcing the symbol of his cult onto his own child. And then lying to him about it? Saying he was chosen by God? That the symbol was honorable? 

It made Sal want to puke. Seeing two dead bodies didn't make him feel this sick. Learning the lunch meat was, human meat didn't make him this sick. But this? This was worse than anything Sal has seen. Travis's whole life was built on a lie that he was clinging to hope for. And now it was crumbling down. That symbol was on Travis. That sick bastard branded his own son with the symbol of his cult. Sal never wanted Travis to be wrapped up in his mess. But he already was. He was wrapped up ever since he was born. 

Travis looked away, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter what he did-" He shook his head. "Just. This whole cult thing. The temple. This demon...Is my father a part of this in some way?"

Sal looked worriedly at Larry, who looked back at him.

"Please don't lie to me."

The two teens nodded slowly, turning to Travis. 

"Yeah." Larry sighed. "He's a part of a cult called the Devours Of God."

"Fuck." Travis breathed out, closing his eyes. "God-he lied....He lied about everything."

Travis wasn't crying. That's the first thing Sal noticed. Maybe he got it out of him in his panic attack, or it was too much for him to process. He did have a panic attack so bad he passed out, before dissociating heavily. So of course hearing that his father. The preacher was apart of a satanic cult and wouldn't process for him immediately. 

Sal didn't even cry over his mom until he was back home. He didn't understand what happened, and when he did, he didn't cry until two months had passed. It was simple really. A small moment talking to his teacher. Wasn't important at all, but that's when Sal broke. He screamed and sobbed, and cried for hours until his body couldn't handle it anymore. He wouldn't blame Travis for not processing this until a few days later. And whenever he did break, if he does. Sal would be there for him.

"I'm so sorry dude," Larry said his hand hovering above Travis before pulling it away. 

"Did you know about this?" Travis asked hesitantly. "About...all of this?" 

"About the cult and temple? For a few years. But recently about your father." Sal explained.

Travis nodded slowly, wiping a few stray tears away. "Then tell me everything you two know." 

Chapter Text

Travis was fine.

As fine as someone would be learning everything in his life was a lie. He didn't know what to think of it. How to think of it. How to even process it. That night was all sorts of strange. From Travis having a dream about his mom to waking up in a satanic temple, then learning everything he knew wasn't true.

His father was part of a cult called 'The Devourers Of God' He had lied about being a Christian. He had lied about everything to Travis. His whole life he believed in this higher being, believed he had a purpose in life.

That was a lie too.

The three had agreed to sleep a bit for the night, and after much convincing, they got to stay home the next day. Todd had come over too before leaving for school, shocked himself that they told Travis the truth but gladly told him anything he needed to know.

They were hiding something else. Travis could tell. He asked about the school and if anyone there was in the cult. Any teachers, or hell even other classmates. The way their eyes looked away, they weren't telling him something. He didn't care at this point. Even if they weren't telling him everything. Probably still wanted Travis to keep some of his innocence. Like he had any left. But he was thankful for that a bit. At this point, he probably ate people without knowing. Another sin to add to the list. Travis was beaten over sinning. As a kid, he had shoved his hand in pots of boiling water as if to feel the burning sensation of hell. His mother had caught him one time, it was the first and last time she ever yelled at him. It wasn't like his father's yelling. It was a painful yell. A fearful one. Travis remembered her gently wrapping his hand, shushing as the boy cried and spewed apology after apology. But all his mom cared about was if he was okay. She would kiss his hand, rocking him back and forth humming a song to him.

Travis burned himself in fear of sin.

Sin that his father taught him.

Sin that were lies. 

The path was bullshit. " Stay on the path Travis ." " Don't stray from the path Travis."

The path my ass. Travis thought. But it still felt right. He still felt like he needed to beg for forgiveness. 

He hated his father. He hated God. Fuck. He hated Sal as well. If Sal, or anyone else never told him he would be happy. Living in his fantasy and delusions but he would be  happy  He wanted to hate his father completely. But still, despite hearing he was in a CULT. a satanic CULT. Travis still believed in him. Believed in the religion no matter the nights he spent sobbing. The pain and anguish living that filled his body. It made Travis want to scream and tear himself apart. It was so confusing. He wanted to keep following the religion, but at the same time, it was torture. To listen to a God who wanted him dead. To sulk in sin as it wore him down day by day until he would be a husk of himself. It was like living in his own personal Hell. But. If he refused to follow it, what will he do? What purpose would he even have? Would he follow the path of his father? Is own? Did he even have a path? He wanted to hate his friends for telling him the truth. 

But he couldn't. 

Travis wasn't sure how long had passed. The days blurred together. Everything felt like a dream that didn't matter anymore. The phone kept ringing constantly, it made Travis pissed off. He wanted to slam the phone against the wall until it broke. It wasn't until the weekend that he finally decided to pick up that stupid phone that's been ringing on and on and on- 

It was Sal.

He called him.

Sal had asked how he was doing, before inviting him out to the lake. And no matter the state of mind Travis was in he said yes. Because both of them knew Travis wasn't okay. He wasn't fine. He couldn't spend the rest of his whole life cooped up in his room. So he agreed to go with Sal. To get out of this house, and to get out of his mind.

"How are you feeling?" Sal asked, laying on the grass under a Willow tree, Travis laying next to him, and an empty basket of food the two ate when they got there. Travis was starving, but he wouldn't say anything. He didn't want Sal to worry even more. The food was delicious. The first decent meal he probably ate in days. Despite a voice mocking him in his own head, Travis ignored it, gladly munching on the food. Sal had his prosthetic off for eating and decided to keep it off after, and he was still just as beautiful as the first time he saw him. His hair was tied back in a braid, wore a blue skirt with a white shirt.

"Like shit," Travis grumbled, looking up at the sky. He wore a simple purple sweater with sweatpants underneath. It was hot, but Travis didn't care. His hair was a mess as well, hardly combed and small parts of his roots were growing in again. "I haven't slept in days." He mumbled. "I just can't stop thinking about it. What am I gonna do at church? At home? When my father gets back. I can't pretend everything is normal." Travis frowned. "It's never gonna be normal ever again." 

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have told you." Sal mumbled. "I just thought you deserved to know. Especially after you woke up..."

Travis cringed. "No." He shook his head. "I'm glad you did. I needed to know." Travis mumbled. "I'm sorry I kinda went, off the grid for a few days. And if I scared you. I just didn't know what else to do. I wanted to hate you guys but...I needed the truth. I was just...scared."

Sal sighed. "I was worried. But...you needed time alone. I wasn't gonna push that on you. I understand." He smiled softly.

Travis looked at the willow tree above him, and how the lights showed through it. It reminded him of being a kid. Laughing and smiling as he lay with his mother next to him. He missed that life.

He wanted it back.

"I want to leave," Travis spoke after a moment. 

"What? Like here?" 

"Home. I want to leave. And I want to live with you in the house with Todd and Neil" He said pushing himself up and sat up. "It's been on my mind ever since Todd offered it to me. I want to leave." He said taking a shakey breath. 

Sal slowly sat up. "That's amazing Travis!" Sal smiled. God he loved his smile. Travis loved everything about Sal's face. Travis didn't care about how he was missing part of his jaw. Or how he was missing part of his nose. Or how he has one eye. Sal was beautiful. 

Travis nodded, continuing on his plan. "Whenever I'm 18. I want to leave. I doubt I'm gonna be taking over the church. I want to get out. He can't keep me legally at 18 right?" The teen smiled.

Sal nodded. "That's right. The moment you're 18 you'll be free."

Free.

That's something Travis planned on doing. Or achieving. He could actually live his life away from his father. Away from the path created for him

Away from everything he ever knew before. 

He could finally live his life. He could finally be who he always wanted to be. Not hiding any part of him away. 

"Im gay" Travis whispered, his eyes staring back at Sal. He didn't know why he even said that. Why he just confessed his darkest sin to his crush? But was it a sin even? He wished himself dead sometimes for having these feelings for boys and now what? Just like that it was okay? He was supposed to feel fine?

"Oh." Sal paused at that before smiling. "Travis that's amazing. I don't care that your gay." He smiled softly, and Travis could sob.

Sal accepted him. He accepted him being Gay. He was fine with him. So why did it feel so terrifying? Travis looked away at that, blinking tears back. "Fuck. It's even more confusing than before- I don't understand!" Travis groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I don't even know why I told you!" Travis laughed weakly. "I've- I've been so scared this whole time of other people finding out and here I am telling you!- I don't get it. I don't know if I even should feel ashamed anymore but I still do!" Travis sniffed, wiping his snot-covered nose with his arm, and looked over to Sal who was smiling so warmly at him. 

"I don't know if this will help you or not, but I'm bisexual," Sal explained. 

Travis paused, taking a moment to process what Sal said. "What the fuck is that?"

Sal snorted laughing. "Is it bad I had a feeling you said that?" He giggled, covering his mouth. "I'm sorry- sorry-" The teen chuckled.

"That doesn't change the fact I don't know what the hell it means." Travis cracked a smile. "Is it something to do with being gay? Or like why do you wear dresses?"

"Kinda, and no. Bisexual just means I like girls...and guys" 

"Oh." Travis frowned. "Oh!" He said again as his eyes widened, the words processing for him. Sal liked guys as well. "You like guys?" 

Sal smiled and nodded. "Yep. I had a crush on Ashley freshman year, but then I've had crushes on other guys...Which Larry explained what being bisexual was. Me and Ashley liked each other, but dating just seemed too weird for us. So even though we never officially dated we technically broke up? But as you see, we're amazing friends still." Sal laughed. "And now, more than likely she's dating Larry. So it worked out in the end.

Sal could like him. 

"I'm glad you told me by the way" Sal smiled. 

He could actually date him.

"Please don't tell anyone else about me..." Travis said quietly. Why was he so worried about that still? His whole life was a lie and yet he was still so worried about others learning he was gay? 

Did his father even care? 

If he wasn't a Christian, then did he see being gay as a sin? Travis could tell he was beginning to spiral. Which was not good at all. His hands started to shake and his head rang. Was it all even worth it? Were all those years of suffering pointless? 

Was he beaten over nothing?

"Travis hey.." Sal frowned, scooting closer to the teen. "Deep breathes remember?" He said quietly.

Travis looked over to Sal, nodding slowly, and took a breath, then another, and another until the ringing stopped.

"Your dads not gonna be back until Wednesday right?" Sal asked after Travis calmed down.

Travis nodded. "The one time he's gonna cancel Church here," Travis said quietly. "Why?"

Sal shifted and took a breath "Well...What if we see that movie together?" Sal asked, looking at Travis. "Tomorrow."

Travis froze at the question. "Us alone?" He asked wearily. "Like- seeing a movie together?"

Sal nodded. "It could be the perfect time..and help distract you if needed." 

"What if someone notices me?" He asked. "If I'm seen outside even..." 

Sal thought for a moment before gasping and shooting up. "I got it!" 

"What?"

"You can wear one of my prosthetics!" Sal laughed. "We can even call Ashley to use a wig" for you. People will think you're Larry"

"Great." Travis laughed. "That plan is stupid. So stupid it could work." He snorted. 

"Hey, man. Whatever can help." Sal chuckled, and Travis couldn't help but smile, looking back at Sal.

Sal and his beautiful face. His beautiful smile. 

An idea popped into his mind. 

A terrifying thought. 

But a thought that he wished to become a reality for so long.

Travis placed one hand on Sal's hand, the two teens glancing down silently before looking back up at each other. Travis hesitantly moved his other hand to Sal's cheek, stopping when he saw Sal flinch away for a moment, before stopping. Travis looked at Sal worriedly. "Is this okay?" He asked quietly, eyes darting to Sal's lip momentarily before back up to Sal's eyes, then darting away again. He didn't know what he was even doing. Did Sal even want this?

"I don't mind," Sal said, terrified himself. He was staring right back at Travis. The two teens scared to even be in this moment. But both didn't want it to stop. "Didn't expect it...but I don't mind."

Travis had his hand on Sal's cheek. He was touching Sal. He was holding Sal. And he was terrified. He dreamed of this moment. Literally. He dreamed him and Sal were the only things that mattered in the world. That it was just the two of them. Travis would kiss Sal, hold Sal, and Sal would love him back. They would start a fam-

A loud car engine zoomed past them, and in a panic Travis pulled his hand away, looking to the street with horrified eyes as the car just drove past normally. He swallowed thickly as his chest ached. Did the car see him? Oh, shit shit shit did they see him and Sal? If they did they'll tell his father he was out of the house, and that he was holding a boy

Why was that important still? Did it even matter?

He was gonna kill him.

He warned him about leaving the house and he did it anyways. 

"Travis." 

Oh fuck Travis didn't want to die. Yeah sure sometimes living sucked but he didn't want to die. Not now. Not when he just got the news that there was a chance Sal could love him. 

"Travis" Sal said again, gently, Travis's head darted back to the teen terrified.

 "You okay?" He asked worriedly, glancing over at Travis, who remained silent. "Take deep breaths okay?"

Travis nodded slowly, taking a shaky breath, counting in his mind until his breathing became slower. "Sorry." He mumbled, glancing to the road and then back to Sal. Worry was plastered all over him. "I think I should- go..." He mumbled. "Just before anyone else sees me." He said moving to stand up, Sal stood up with him. "I'm sorry. I just...if anyone sees me-"

"Of course." He sighed. "I get it. It's okay. Im probably gonna head back as well. Today was nice." Sal said, reaching for his prosthetic on the ground and strapping it into place. "Uh-all of today was nice."

Travis smiled softly, nodding. "It was." He wanted to keep holding onto Sal. "Thanks for helping me get out of the house....and not- and telling me that you- shit. That you like-" Travis's face turned red as he stammered. "That you're bisexual or whatever. Thanks for telling me. I won't tell anyone if you...don't want me to."

Sal chuckled. "Thank you. and the same goes for you. Thank you for telling me you're gay. I won't tell anyone else, and we can always talk if you need it okay?" Sal offered. 

Travis nodded. "I will. Thanks." He smiled, starting to walk away.

"Oh! Shit! Tomorrow! What time am I picking you up?" Sal gasped. "Wait wait!" 

Travis froze. Tomorrow. That was right. They were gonna see a movie together. "Um..11?" Travis asked turning around again to Sal. It was gonna be them. Alone. Together. Maybe the movie could help distract him, and give him a chance to feel like a teenager for once. And it would be with Sal. Of course, it would be with Sal. It was always Sal. 

"Perfect. See you then!" Sal laughed and God his laugh always made Travis feel lighter. "Be ready by 11! Or I will break your door down! And that is a threat."

Travis laughed. "Why break my door down when you can crawl through my window?" He smirked.

"Oh right yeah, cause I need to plan to sneak around when your father is back?" Sal giggled. 

Travis shrugged and nodded. "I'm still grounded. But still want to see you. My window is broken and doesn't lock, but my father doesn't know that"

Sal nodded at that information. "Alright then. Guess I'm Romeoing this tomorrow." He chuckled. 

"Did Romeo even climb through windows? And didn't he die?" Travis crossed his arms smiling. "May not be a good full proof plan." 

Sal laughed, shaking his head. "Shit, yeah he did. Ignore what I said. I'll see you tomorrow Trav." He shook his head. "11 am. Tomorrow, Window."

"It's a date." Travis smiled. "See you then Sal."

Chapter Text

"I can't believe you were actually serious." Travis laughed as he opened the window to his bedroom, watching as Sal climbed inside.

"Oh believe me. I was." The teen joked, carrying a bag in one hand. He had his normal pigtails on and was wearing a black shirt, a plaid long red jacket with blue jeans. "I promised you a movie, and we are going to see a movie." 

Travis could look at him for hours. It felt like every day Sal only got more gorgeous. 

"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" Sal asked, tilting his head.

Travis shook his head slowly. Ah, shit. "No. Sorry. I forgot. Should I of eaten?" He did forget. Again. It was getting increasingly common for him to forget breakfast, however. Especially with Kenneth not being home, he hardly ever ate it anymore. He knew it was bad. Hell, he could see his ribs jetting out. He knew it was bad, and Sal probably knew as well. 

"No worries." Sal shook his head. "Just curious. I brought some donuts with me." He smiled. "The movie starts in an hour anyways, so we have plenty of time." He said humming.

Travis smiled softly at that, He could tell Sal worried about him and wanted him to eat, but he didn't make a big deal about it. He didn't pity Travis, for which he was glad. It was hard to eat sometimes, but around Sal, he never felt forced. He felt safe around Sal.

"What movie are we gonna see? I don't think you ever told me." Travis chuckled, gesturing to his door to walk downstairs, Sal followed. "We can eat downstairs."

"That is a surprise, my dear Travis~." Sal teased. The two soon entered the kitchen and Sal placed the bag down, inside it was a box, a long brown wig, and a mask. Sal hummed grabbing the box of donuts and opened them up. "I wasn't sure how many you wanted, so I got us six. Three for each." They were all chocolate covered with sprinkles on them. 

That was a lot. 

"Thanks." Travis smiled weakly, grabbing one donut, and hesitantly ate it.

"So. Are we gonna do anything after the movie?" Sal asked, unclipping the bottom of his prosthetic to eat as well.

"I don't know. Maybe. Depends on how long the movie is I guess?" Travis sighed. He wanted the movie to last forever. Maybe then it could distract his thoughts permanently. He wouldn't have to think about everything going on and could disappear into a new world. Maybe that's why he enjoyed movies. Even if Kenneth never allowed him to see any. Just the thought of escaping this world and being in a new world. A better one. It was all Travis wished for. 

"We should probably finish around 1. Maybe earlier. So sometime after lunch?" Sal asked. "I brought Todd's bike here since yours is still broken, it's probably a 10-minute bike ride." 

Sal offered him a bike to ride there. And he remembered Travis's broken bike. Normally he hated when people did things for him...but Sal...Sal was different. 

Travis shrugged, eating more of the donut and moving on to the second one. "Maybe. I don't know. I need to get ready for school tomorrow. So I might not be able to hang out." 

"Holy shit that's right!" Sal gasped. "Your suspension ends tomorrow!" 

He nodded. "Yeah...I'm just not ready for school again." He sighed. School would be tomorrow. He would have to face it again after a week of suspicion. After a week of punching Jackson to the point of stitches. People would definitely talk. Which was just...great. It wasn't like he needed more rumors about him.

"Jeez, time moves fast." Sal shook his head, grabbing the second donut. "What proms coming up in a month...then your birthday. Then graduation. Holy shit." Sal laughed. "Time right?"

Travis nodded. "Time." It seemed like a lifetime ago that he met Sal in the bathroom. That they talked for the first time. That Travis began to open up to him. It felt like he was a completely different person. 

"You doing anything for prom?" Travis asked hesitantly. 

Sal shook his head. "Nope, well-" he cringed. "Maybe. I don't know if I'm going." Sal mumbled, grabbing another donut.

"Wait. Why not?" Travis frowned. Sal wasn't going? Well, he didn't blame him, but he wasn't going?

"I just...don't like dances. Too loud and flashing lights. And crowded. Just not for me." Sal shrugged. "Are you planning to go?"

Travis shook his head. "Not really. I don't like dances anymore." He said quietly. Another thing that happened after his mother left. The joy of dances disappeared. 

Sal was quiet for a moment. "We can go?" He offered. And Travis's head shot up.

"A-as friends of course!" Sal laughed awkwardly. "But we could go- maybe just outside? Im sure I'll be the only one not having a date anyways. We could go together dateless?" 

Prom with Sal.

Technically. 

But prom with Sal. Travis could faint. "That would be nice." Travis smiled. 

"Cool-" Sal chuckled, "C-cool." He said as the two finished the last donut. "You wanna get the wig and prosthetic on?"

"I forgot about those." Travis laughed. "Sure. Bring it on."

"That actually worked!" Travis snorted as he pulled the wig off as well as the prosthetic. The two were in the movie theater for the movie, sitting in their seats. "How did that even work?" He laughed, again, setting his drink down.

"Don't ask me I was like 50% positive the plan would even work." Sal giggled, "Here- I'll hold onto them." He said and handed Travis the popcorn, while Travis handed him the wig and mask, Sal shoved them in a bag he snuck in.

"I mean she even called me Larry!" Travis whispered, trying to stop his giggles, and grabbed a handful of the food. "She really didn't notice anything strange."

"I mean you do look like Larry." Sal shrugged. "Both of you are really tall." 

"Sal." Travis looked down at his body, gesturing to it then back at Sal. "Look at me. Larry is as pale as a ghost."

Sal started to laugh at that again, trying so hard to suppress the giggles. "Ok yeah, I have no clue how she had no idea." 

"N-now can you tell me what movie were watching?" Travis snorted. "You refused to tell me this whole way, and made me wait for you to buy the tickets so I wouldn't hear the name of the movie."

"Footloose!" Sal smiled, calming down from the laughing fit. "It came out ten years ago I think so they're rerunning it in theaters for a month for the anniversary" 

"I've heard of that. Never seen it" Travis smiled, grabbing a bit of the popcorn, and started to eat.

"Well, it's really good!" Sal smiled "You're gonna love it. Larry". He teased, nudging Travis again with his elbow.

"The movie is starting-" Travis snorted, "S-h-sh-" He leased out.

"Alright alright, Larry. I'll calm down." Sal teased again, getting another laugh out of Travis before staying quiet for the movie. 

As interesting as the movie was, Travis couldn't help but glance over at Sal every so often. Their hands locked the entire time. Song after song played, and Sal was right. The movie was amazing. (Some of the actors made his own heart flutter as well) but despite this Travis's eyes always locked back onto Sal. Even with his prosthetic on he could see his head bobbing every so often. 

In one moment of the movie, Travis slowly moved jus hand over to Sals, hesitantly holding his hand. Sal looked at him for a moment before glancing down, holding Travis's hand back. He looked up at Travis silently. Their eyes locked before looking away again. 

"That was good," Travis said, standing up as the credits rolled on the screen. 

"Told you!" Sal smiled. "I knew you would like it. Now let's get going. It was pretty cloudy when we road here, I don't want to get stuck in rain." Sal said, moving to hand Travis the bag, with the wig and prosthetic. "Makeover time again." 

Travis rolled his eyes and looked around, when he knew no one was watching Travis threw the wig over him as well as the prosthetic. "And how did you get this wig again?" He asked. 

"Ashley. Her mom owns a salon and has wigs. Cool right?" Sal asked. "Alright, let's go." He said after seeing Travis had the prosthetic covering his face. 

The two soon made their way to walk out of the theater, but Travis froze at the entrance of theirs.

"Shit." Travis's eyes widened as he saw a security guard standing outside. Why was there a security guard specifically guarding this section?

Unless... 

"What is it?" Sal frowned, looking to where Travis was looking. 

Oh no.

"He goes to our church. He- he'll recognize me." Travis swallowed. "Even with everything he- he fuck he'll know this shirt I'm wearing. What if he knows I'm here already?" Travis stammered. "This was a mistake. We shouldn't of-" He felt his stomach drop in fear.

"Hey, it's okay. I know a back way." Sal whispered. "It's gonna be okay."

"You do?" Travis's eyes widened. 

Sal nodded. "Yeah. Just follow me." He said and stood up, looking around the theater before gesturing for Travis to follow. He lead Travis through a door behind the screen, which lead into a smaller room before he walked Travis through another door, which lead outside in the back of the theater. 

"Holy shit" Travis laughed softly. "Why didn't we use this to enter? We spent $20!" He joked with Sal, however still felt on edge after seeing that guard. There was a chance *he* knew. And that was terrifying. 

Sal laughed. "The door doesn't open from outside. It's locked. But hey! No one noticed us anyways, right? Sometimes with the gang, one of us buys a ticket and just lets everyone else in the back."

"And you don't get caught?"

"Nope!" Sal laughed. "No one has noticed at all." He smiled, "Do you wanna head back by the way? I don't know if you need to go home.."

Travis shook his head. "No! I- I mean we could- we can head back to your place then I'll walk back home" Travis shrugged. 

"Cool!" He hummed, and the two walked back to the bikes, pulling his own bike out.

"That movie was really good by the way" Travis smiled, climbing onto Todd's bike and slowly took off the wig and mask, handing them back to Sal carefully, watching as the boy set them in his bag again. Once it was secured, the two road off.

"Yeah? I'm glad you liked it!"

"The ending song was really catchy." Travis chuckled, looking up to the sky for a moment. Sal was right, it was pretty cloudy. He really hoped it wouldn't rain now. And especially didn't want to walk in the rain again. 

"Oh, you mean... Today I gotta cut loose-!" Sal chimed out, in the tone of the song.

Travis snorted at that, shaking his head. "Are you gonna make me sing?"

"Me? No!" Sal gasped. "I'm offended you even thought- Yeah I am now sing."

Travis rolled his eyes, trying to remember the lyrics. "Uh...Footloose..?"

"Kick off your Sunday shoes!" Sal chimed, leaning his bike closer to Travis, and for a second took his feet off the wheels to emphasize the song more.

"I only know one word, Sal." Travis laughed. "Footloose is the only word I remember."

"Please! Louise!" Sal practically yelled out singing. "Pull me up to my knees!" 

Travis snorted, shaking his head. "So what other movies are there that we need to see?" He asked smiling. "And are you gonna be singing all the songs from there now?"

"Oh my God so many!" Sal laughed. "There's too many. Next time you come over we're doing a movie marathon okay? And I absolutely will be singing until your ears bleed.

"Great." Travis smiled, playfully rolling his eyes."But it should be a full day of movies."

"Oh of course. Im gonna cover all the genres with you. Horror, mystery, musical, romance~" Sal teased, Travis's face flushed red. 

That had to be flirting. Right? Was Sal flirting with him? It wasn't like he could just- ask Sal like " Oh hey there Sal I was wondering if you were flirting with me despite me not having any clue at all on how relationships work especially not with a guy that I've just hardly accepted! Oh hey by the way did you know I've had a crush on you ever since freshman year?"

He couldn't ask Sal. 

Not after everything. 

"Hey.. you got quiet, is everything okay?" Sal frowned, looking to Travis whose smile turned into a frown.

"Hm?" Travis snapped up, looking back to Sal. 

"You okay?" He asked again, worried. 

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Got...lost in thought." He mumbled quietly. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's okay." Sal frowned. "I...I just wish this wasn't happening to you, man." He said, looking ahead of him, nockfell apartments soon came into view. "I want you to be happy"

Travis wished it didn't happen to him either. He could be happy he was just- starting to be happy and accept himself. And then the truth came out. That Kenneth was in a cult. Travis was used in rituals before. That he likely had a fucking demon inside him.

That there was a higher chance his mom was actually dead.

"I don't know how I'm gonna make it to 18," Travis said quietly, looking at the apartments and slowly came to a stop, putting his feet on the ground, Sal stopping next to him. "April is- a long time away. I don't know how I'm gonna do that." He mumbled shaking his head. "Sorry. I made this depressing. We were having a good time

"It's okay Trav. April...is a long time away. But you have us." Sal said quietly. "If...Can you promise me something?"

Travis nodded slowly. "Of course." He said.

"Whenever you get- no. Whenever you feel that way. Like things seem hopeless can you call me?" Sal asked. "Or if your dad is home- promise to call me when it's safe," Sal said, looking down. "I...understand that feeling. And it really fucking sucks. I don't want you to feel hopeless."

Travis looked at him for a moment, nodding slowly. "Yeah." He said softly. "I'll try to call you..."

"Do you know ways to help deal with it?"

"Deal with the feeling?" Travis questioned. 

Sal nodded.

Oh, he didn't want to talk about this. "I- well I sometimes write about it..." he burned himself. He sliced his arm up. He starved himself. He punched people and things 

"You don't need to tell me. Sorry if I made you feel like you did" He frowned, however having a slight feeling of knowing Travis's unhealthy coping habits. "Writing is good though. I remember reading some of your poetry. They were really good."

His face flushed red again at the compliment. "Today was fun though." Travis stammered, trying to change the topic. "It was really nice. Thank you. For that and...everything you've done Sal."

"I liked it too. The movie was really good as well." Sal hummed. "I still can't believe our plan worked."

He chuckled back. "I can't either. But I don't...wanna risk that again. Maybe once things settle down, and I don't need to sneak around. Seeing that guard just made me panic."

"Oh yeah, of course." Sal nodded. "Just whenever you want to hang out again let me know. I don't mind tutoring you after school in the library" 

A laugh left Travis and he shook his head. "I don't know if tutoring can even help at this point." He sighed. 

Sal looked sadly at Travis "Well I'm serious Travis. I'm always here for you no matter what. If you ever need to talk let me know okay?" Sal offered. "Or if you need to get away for some time. I'm here."

Travis nodded, smiling softly. "Of course." He knew what Sal meant. He meant the cult. Knowing how horrible he was dealing with it now, dealing either Kenneth at home. It was bittersweet. Some things never changed between the two. Despite the yelling, and ugly remarks Travis made to Sal, the kindness Sal showed to Travis always stayed the same.

"Sal wait-" Travis called out. Sal looked up at him curiously, tilting his head.

"Yeah?" He asked.

Some things never changed. Not after years

Travis swallowed, taking a breath "I.." 

After all these years. One thing still remained the same. 

All the times he looked at Sal. All the times he yearned to be with him. From the moment he first saw his freshman year, hating himself and tormenting himself for liking the boy. Wishing to be closer but never see a future where that would happen

Expect it did. 

Despite everything. The future he yearned and longed for happened.

Sal and he had a heartfelt conversation. Which changed everything. 

Travis loved Sal Fisher.

He loved him since freshman year. 

No matter the nights he pleaded for a God that may not even matter anymore, That love never changed. No matter the begging. No matter the prayers. No matter the blood. Travis loved Sal.

"I..." He took another shaking breath.

But why were three words so hard to say? 

I love you.

That's all it took to get the future Travis dreamed for. 

I love you.

 "I...lo-" 

But he couldn't. 

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Travis said slowly, his shoulders dropping. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell Sal. Those three words were so hard to even speak out. No matter how much he yearned to tell them to Sal. No matter how much he wanted that future. He couldn't do it. 

Sal nodded slowly, chuckling a bit. "Yeah. I'll you tomorrow." He hummed. "For lunch do you wanna eat in the courtyard? If it's not raining"

"That would be nice." He said quietly, "...bye Sal." 

"Bye Trav."

The two waved off to each other, Travis watching as Sal walked the two bikes off, and soon disappearing himself. After he couldn't see the boy anymore Travis began his home. 

Alone. With only his own mind to keep him company. 

You're a coward. 

You're a fucking coward Travis. 

Stupid stupid stupid.

You couldn't say three words? After everything? You're a coward. You called him worse before and you know it. And yet you can't say three words?

He was gonna tell Sal he loved him. He was so close to telling Sal. He wanted to tell him so, so badly.

But he couldn't. Travis didn't know why. Was it the fact he still clung to the false reality of his life? Clinging to beliefs he grew up with forever? 

That shouldn't matter anymore. Why was he so distraught? Why Why  Why whywhywhywhywhywhy- 

Shut up, Travis. 

Just. Shut up. 

Stop thinking about this. Stop getting so worked up on this. 

But no matter how hard he pushed his mind away from Sal, it fought back even stronger. 

Travis loved Sal Fisher. He loved him so, so much. He helped him throughout everything, from his fears of religion to now helping Travis work through learning his father lied to him his whole life. Without Sal, he wouldn't be even planning to leave. Without Sal, he wouldn't be happy. And yet he couldn't tell Sal those three simple words.

He made his day happier and made life worth living. Spent time after time making sure Travis was okay, inviting him out to things just to make him happy. Travis wanted to do the same for Sal.  He  wanted to do things for Sal to make him happy.  he  wanted to take time out of his day, asking Sal out to the movies, to the arcade. To the lake.

But he couldn't. 

And with everything he learned, doing so seemed harder and harder each day. Somedays he wished that he didn't exist. That a black hole would swollow him whole, taking everything away. Thoughts, feelings, emotions. All so Travis didn't have to suffer the same ache each day. Travis jus couldn't do it. He couldn't keep acting like everything was fine. Because it wasn't. Travis wasn't normal. His life wasn't normal. 

Soon he approached his house again, dread filling him. His hair stuck up on his arms and something was wrong. Something felt wrong. It was the same feeling he had before when he saw the guard. Only this time it was different. Something was screaming at him to run. To go back to Sal. That he needed to go back.  

Something felt evil. It wasn't the evil Travis learned. Wasn't the presence of any ghost or demons. No. It was far more worse then that. Already his mind called for him, pulling him away from whatever reality he was about to face, like it wanted to protect him. Which wasn't a new thing to Travis, but this...this felt completely different.

Travis's stomach dropped in horror as his house came into view, and there, in the driveway for all to see, parked outside was his father's car.

Kenneth was home early.

And Travis wasn't there.

Chapter Text

His heart pounded as his hand hovered above the door knob. Millions of thoughts were flowing through his mind. To run away. To just leave. Go back to Sal's. But none of that would work. Because Kenneth would find him.

How stupid he was into thinking he could escape. 

He took a shaky breath, turning the doorknob, and opened the door to hell. 

Stepping inside, the door shut behind him and Travis could only freeze at the sight. 

There, standing in the kitchen was Kenneth. His arms were crossed. On the table were his hidden walkman, his taped photo of him asleep under the tree on that one fateful day, and his pocket knife. 

Oh fuck.

"I'm glad you made it home. I finished early." Kenneth started to explain. His was was calm. Which made Travis only more terrified. "And on my way back I ran into Ms Johnson." He said, eyes not leaving Travis. "We had a good chat before I came home. Your room was fit to standards but then I noticed your vent had a loose screw. So I wanted to fix it for you. You didn't disobey me this week and even risked punishment and left to help Lisa out in an emergency."

What? 

But he never-She covered for him. Lisa knew the truth. Or somewhat of it, and lied to Kenneth saying Travis was with her. Lisa tried to help him out. 

"But by judging your shocked expression...I'm assuming that was a lie as well." He grumbled. "So. As I was about to tighten the screw, I noticed things inside it. Thinking it could be an animal I removed all the screws. And then I found all of that." Kenneth hissed out. "So, I did some more digging to see what else you've been hiding from me. And then I found your pocket knife." He grumbled. "You told me you lost it."

"I-" The pit in Travis grew only deeper. All his scenes were begging, pleading for him to leave. To run away, but Travis couldn't. He was frozen in place, stuck to the ground like a child terrified. 

Because that's what he was, wasn't it? He was a child. A child terrified of a false God and their own parent. 

"Do you know what it feels like for the preacher's son to cut himself? That he lies and sneaks around?" Kenneth snapped, interrupting Travis's mind from his thoughts "How humiliating that is? What if people started to spread rumors?"

"I'm sorry." Travis could whisper out, his body tensing up, and his head looking down on the ground. This was worse than any beating he got. Kenneth knew his secrets. He knew everything he tried to hide. At least with the beatings, they would be over soon. But this? This would be forever.

"No your not. You're not sorry. You're ungrateful. What is wrong with you? Are you that fucked up in the head? Huh?" He sneered. "This is clearly for attention, isn't it? To make me look bad? Spread rumors that I'm a horrible father? Manipulate me?"

"No, it's not!" Travis yelled out, practically pleading with Kenneth as he shot his head back up.

That only angered Kenneth even more."Don't you fucking lie to me!" Kenneth snapped as he picked up the walkman. In a fit of rage, he threw the walkman at Travis. Travis gapsed and ducked, the tape landing on the wall behind him smashing to pieces. Barely missing Travis.

Kenneth didn't stop there, marching his way over to Travis as he grabbed his arm. Travis tried to pull away but Kenneth kept a firm grip.

"Get off me!" Travis yelled out. But was cut off by a punch to his already healing face.

"You shut your fucking mouth boy." Kenneth snapped, gripping his face angrily before letting go, using his other arm to pull the teen's sleeve up. In a panic, Travis tried to push Kenneth off of him, but it was too late.

"Cleary you're not sorry. That wouldn't be the case if you're doing this!" He yelled, gripping onto Travis's arm as he waved it around. "After everything I've done for you, this is how you repay me? Repay God You're out here lying and cutting like a demon? Look at what you did! You ruined your arm for what!?" He yelled out. "You're full of sin. Vile sin."

Travis looked at him with wide eyes as his chest tightened. It was getting harder to breathe. But despite this fear, anger rose. 

The same anger he felt when he saw Jackson shove Todd onto the lockers. 

The same anger he felt to himself. 

But this time, that anger was at Kenneth. 

"I don't even understand  why  you're doing this even. Cutting yourself for a trend? I bet it's because of that f*ggot with blue hair. Do you want to be like  it ? Are you that craving of attention from people? Do you think I don't give you enough?" Kenneth snapped. "This- fucking lying. Manipulation. You are straining further and further away from God."

God this God that Kenneth was still focused on THAT? Trying to make Travis feel even worse about himself. Travis snatched his arm away from Kenneth and moved to grip onto his shirt, taking deeps breaths for air. He just needed to breathe. Breathe. Why was it so hard to breathe!? He felt like he was going to die here.

"Oh, now what's wrong!?" He laughed out. "This isn't enough for you? Do you have to act like you can't breathe? That it's hard all of a sudden? Oh, grow up Travis!"

Travis could only whimper out as he tried to catch his breath, remembering the technique he was taught, in for four, hold for five, out for four. 

"And now you're making me the bad guy. God you're really are a copy of your whore of a mother."

Something snapped.

"Don't you dare talk about her." Travis swallowed, still trying to catch his breath, however, it felt easier. Like a weight had been lifted off him and warmth pulsed through his body, helping him breathe on his own,

"Excuse me?" Kenneth was taken aback by his son back talk

The rage exploded. "I said don't you talk about my mother that way." He snapped. "Don't you dare talk about her. You didn't give a shit about her." Travis grumbled, stepping closer to Kenneth. Who staggered back.

He seemed scared. Kenneth seemed scared of Travis. He finally had the power over his father. It could go away at any moment, but Travis loved it. Finally his father will cower in fear. He'll know what it feels like.

"I know you're lying to me. I know about all the bullshit that goes on. Those meetings out of town for church are all lies. I know how the police and everyone in this fucking hellscape of a town are working with you to cover things up. I know how you murdered my own teacher and how you drove my mother away. I know about the cult and I know about you. You probably killed her like that demon that made Luke kill Megan and Stacy." Travis spat venom out to his father. "Fuck that and fuck you. I'm done."

Everything was silent for a moment. The two looked at each other in shock. No one dared to say anything.

That was until Travis could have sworn he saw his father's eyes darken. Literally. Darken. The whites of his eyes seemed to of disappeared, and all that he could see was pitch black. Like darkness swarmed inside Kenneth invading his every thought and movement. Like the two were incomplete without each other. The darkness was apart of Kenneth just like he was apart of the darkness.

Kenneth suddenly lunged at Travis, grabbed him by the arms, and fell to the ground. "You think you're so tough huh? Think you can just talk back to me like that you little bitch?" He sneered out, looking over at the knife.

Horror snuck into Travis again. He was actually gonna do this. Wasn't he? All that anger and confidence he had was wiped away instantly, all that was left was a child. A scared child. "No- no nono-no let me go-please Dad I'm so sorry!" he yelled out, moving his hands away out of Kenneth's grip. Kenneth kept grabbing them, and Travis kept escaping. It went back and forth for a minute before Kenneth grabbed his shoulders tightly instead. 

"Shut up!" Kenneth yelled, pulling him up by his shoulders before slamming him back down on the ground. "Maybe I need to leave a more permanent reminder of how much a sinner you are." He said, letting go of one shoulder.

Travis continued to hit Kenneth. Slamming his free hand over his back and clawed at his face in an attempt to free himself, but all Kenneth did was grab his arm, holding it down as he pressed his leg onto Travis's other arm. Despite them being the same height, with Travis even being a bit taller, Kenneth always knew how to make him feel so small.

He pulled Travis's shirt collar down, and focused more on the shoulder blade, before digging the knife into the skin with no warning.

Travis let a scream out as pain shot through him. Kicking Kenneth again, trying to push his hand up, but with his weight over him it was no use. Travis screamed out again, as loud as he could. Kenneth wasn't stopping him so Surely the neighbors would be able to hear right? 

Someone would come to help him.

Right?

"Oh, it hurts now?" He spat out. "That's funny Travis. Real funny. I thought you wanted this." Kenneth grumbled, continuing to carve into Travis. Once he was done, after what felt like ages to Travis Kenneth slammed the knife down right next to Travis's sobbing face, making the teen flinch violently. The knife was merely inches away from him.

"Since you want to act so tough and believe all that shit. Im taking you out of school." He said, climbing off of Travis finally, fixing his tie like nothing happened. 

"What?" Travis's sobbed out. Did he hear him right? Everything was fuzzy and staticky. Maybe he heard the man wrong. Either way, Travis just wanted to curl up, wishing this was all just a nightmare again. 

"Clearly I made a mistake. Agreeing with your mother to put you in a public school has corrupted your mind and sense of view. Starting tomorrow you'll be homeschooled by a member of the church. Is that clear?" he hissed out to Travis. 

He couldn't breathe. "N-no-" Travis stammered out, horrified, wincing as he finally moved to stand up. He was so close to escaping. So close. But he just had to run his mouth, didn't he? He couldn't just take the punishment as is? He couldn't have just taken the humiliation and verbal assault his father screamed at him? 

"I will be taking away your bedroom door, and you will spend any time not learning in the basement until I decide you're better. And you'll be repenting daily for your sins. Is that clear? I am not a murderer. Nor am I a cult leader for a Satanic cult. I am disgusted that you would even think those lies."

Travis cradled his arm."Father, please. " Back to pleading. Back to the sad excuse of a person he was. Just when he was about to stand up for himself. Say screw you to Kenneth. Back to before he had no one but himself. 

"You will not leave my side at church anymore, and you will be staying after for a mandatory lesson that I will lead." He stepped closer to Travis, leaning his face into Travis's. The teen curled even more on himself. "Maybe I can't  beat  the sin out of you, but mark my words, you will be rid of sin by the time I'm done with you." 

Travis staggered back at that. Tears filled his eyes. "Dad," Travis begged one last time, staring directly back at his father. He couldn't spend a summer here. He wouldn't survive another summer here. Hell. Being here with him healing in winter was torture itself. Despite him not hitting Travis...just the need to walk on eggshells was awful. "Please."

And it was happening again. 

Because things never truly change do they? Who was he to think he could change his destiny and leave? He would be stuck here. Forced to be in a cult his pathetic excuse for a father was claiming were lies. He was still keeping this fake world up. Maybe he didn't want Travis to be a part of it now. But sooner or later he would learn the truth. So why was he so angry?

Kenneth only looked at him and sighed. "Be thankful I'm not sending you to a camp." He grumbled. "They shock and burn the f*g and sins out of you. So next time you should thank me that I'm keeping you even under my roof. Now. Is that clear?"

Travis must have taken too long to answer, because the next thing he knew Kenneth slapped him on the face again.

"Is that clear?" He spoke angrily. 

"Y...yes sir," Travis spoke out, his cheek stinging as his head hung low. Quiet quick breaths escaped his trembling body that he prayed Kenneth wouldn't hear. He felt like a stranger in his own body.

"Now clean your fucking arm up and this place." Kenneth snapped. "Tonight you can sleep in your room. Be grateful I'm even doing that for you. But first thing sunrise? Your old life is over." He huffed. "I'll go to the store to buy you some peroxide for your...injury. We can't let it get infected, can we? When I get back this place should be spotless. Got that?"

Travis swallowed, nodding slowly again. "Yes sir."

"Good. And stop your crying Travis. You're 17. Grow up." Kenneth huffed.

Travis watched, still holding his arm close to him as Kenneth slammed the door closed. 

Travis blinked as tears silently poured down his cheeks, not caring to wipe them away, or giving any attempt to stop crying. 

I need to clean up.  He thought to himself robotically. His shirt already felt sticky, and Travis was sure it was blood. 

Slowly like his body was moving on its own, he walked up the stairs, not caring about the broken walkman. Or knife. Or anything. Nothing mattered. He was a prisoner here anyways. He would be locked in the basement for who knows how long. 

A part of him wished that Kenneth would get so pissed off he would go too far one time. 

He walked into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. Tears stained his cheeks, and his lip was busted open again. He had dark bruises on his arms and, his eyes looked lifeless behind them. He didn't even see himself in the mirror. To make matters worse, his shirt was bloodstained. Travis took a breath and slowly pulled the stained shirt off and hissed out. 

Sinner.

Kenneth carved the word on his shoulder.

Travis almost threw up at the sight. It was another symbol forced upon him.

Travis ran a cloth over the water, dabbing it on his wound, and sobbed out in pain. The bleeding had mostly stopped, but it still hurt like hell. He didn't even know why. He went through worse things before. This should be nothing. But it hurt. It hurt so much. Travis set the cloth down, sniffing to grab the bandages, but his hand spasmed and they fell to the ground. His hand has been doing that this past week. 

He couldn't do this. 

"Fuck-!" He cursed out, bending down to grab the bandages that fell. 

The screaming in his head. 

As he bent down, they rolled under the sink. In annoyance, he reached his hand under to try to pull them out, but his hand hit something else.

Church, his father, hiding secrets, the lies that twisted his life around.

Something that rattled.

 Knowing that everything he believed was a lie. 

Travis grabbed onto it and pulled it out, looking at a blank pill bottle with half of the pills still inside them.

A lie that his father was still pushing onto him.

Kenneth always told him pills or any medication were demonic. So why would he have these...unless...

Travis couldn't do it anymore. 

He knew Kenneth had drugged him now for whatever purpose. Thanks to his friends telling him. The nights he didn't remember. The nights he had nightmares about. It was because of these. 

Travis couldn't live anymore. 

The familiar idea popped into his head. Only this time no part of his brain disagreed. All that he needed to do was write an apology to Sal. Tell him what he couldn't speak before. Sal deserved closure. He never got to say goodbye to his mom. Or say he loved her for the last time. 

But now that'll change. 

Sal would be heartbroken. Travis knew that for sure. It would be a pain that he would carry with him forever. But Sal didn't understand. 

Sal didn't know. 

He would never be able to see him again anyways. Travis's life would just be a hellscape now. He will never be able to become free if he stays here. And running away was out of the option. Kenneth didn't just have eyes in this town. He had eyes everywhere. 

A letter that started this all, and a letter to end it all. After that, Travis would be gone.

He would be at peace. 

Chapter Text

Travis slowly opened his eyes, groaning to himself. Where was he? What happened? Everything seemed fuzzy...and he wasn't even sure what the last thing he remembered was. As he slowly sat up he looked around frowning. He was in a field of grass, it spanning in every direction with the sky a shade of purple, stars everywhere. It seemed like it was night, but there wasn't even any moon.

"What the fuck." Travis frowned slowly standing up. Where even was he? Travis looked around him, freezing however when he saw a woman in the distance. She had dark skin, long dark hair and was wearing a dress that seemed to sparkle like gold.

Her face was the face Travis wished to see again. 

It was the face that he had dreams for years and years about. 

The face he saw as a child. 

"Mom?"

Tyra smiled weakly, however, her face was stricken with sadness. "Hello, Travis."

He took a step forwards, looking at her with wide eyes. "Is this real?" Travis asked. "I- I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming this is a dream-" Travis stammered before the memories of last night flooding his head. All the memories.

The fighting. The pain. The crying. He remembered finding pills...and writing a note to Sal. He remembered-

He remembered everything. 

"Am I in heaven?" He asked suddenly. "Did- did I kill myself? I- You're here. So that means if I'm de- are you- are you dead? Like- actually dead?"

"Deep breathes." Tyra frowned, shaking her head. "You're not dreaming...this is the spirit realm. You're neither dead nor alive...and yes. I am dead."

"Oh." He sniffed out, looking at his mom sadly. "You're dead."

"I am." She nodded slowly. 

"Oh." He said softly again. 

Dead .

Hearing those words made his heart shatter. Of course, Travis had a feeling she was dead. Some part deep down always knew she's been dead. But to hear that, to hear those words that his own mother was dead made his whole world break.

Dead. She was dead. Dead for who knows how long but his mother was gone. The hope he clung onto died as well. 

Tears slowly swarmed his eyes and his body shook. He covered his mouth. She was dead. 

"I-" Travis cried out.

His mom was actually dead. The reality of that hit hard. She was dead. And he was dead as well, wasn't he? 

She walked closer to Travis, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. A kind gesture. A warm gesture. It was supposed to be. All Travis felt was the knife digging into his skin and-

He jerked away from her touch, eyes wide as he looked back at his mother. "I'm sorry." Travis cried out again. "I didn't- I didn't mean- I didn't-" He gasped out, struggling to breathe. Who knew that even dead this could happen? Or where fucking ever he was, having panic attacks were still a thing. "I'm sorry." He said gripping onto his shirt. Travis couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel his hands he couldn't feel anything around him. If she was dead then was he dead as well? Can people die twice? It felt like he was dying. 

Tyra's smile faded. "It's okay." She said gently, taking a step back from her son to give him room. "You're okay Travis. Can you take a deep breath for me? Yeah like that. There you go." Tyra smiled. 

Travis sniffed again, wiping snot from his nose and he followed what she said, taking breaths until he didn't feel like dying all over again. It took a few minutes, gasping and wheezing for air, but he slowly recovered. 

"How about we sit down?" 

He heard his mother ask, all Travis did was nod slowly, moving to sit on the grass below him. Travis sniffed and wiped his eyes. After a few minutes of silence, and a warm breeze blowing on Travis's face, he spoke again. "So...am I dead?" He asked in a weak voice. "You're here...with me. And you're gone....so.." He teared up again but wiped them away. Travis was not gonna cry over this. He  wanted  this.

Tyra frowned at her son and sighed. "Think of this place...like a stop to death. This is where all the spirits go. Some call it heaven. Others, the other side. It's all different for everyone. But people can be here for many reasons. Like your friend Sal. He has a very strong connection to this world. And so do you." She explained. 

"I do?" He asked and Tyra nodded. "It's very strong." She smiled. "You've always had it as a kid...It was the only thing Kenneth seemed happy about." 

Travis chuckled dryly at that. "Ironic he was only proud of me for that. May of been the only thing." Probably helped his stupid...Rituals. Or maybe that's why Travis could see these demons. Heard those whispers all this time.

Travis shifted, frowning. Everything seemed so awkward here, but yet so peaceful as well." So..." he began to speak "Im technically dead. But can be brought back?" Travis asked for a moment. He actually killed himself? The thought sent chills down his spine. But he wanted this. Why was he so horrified at that thought? If he wasn't so exhausted, Travis would probably have another panic attack again. 

Tyra looked at him, nodding. "Precisely. Time works differently here as well. Out there barely a minute has passed." She said quietly. "That's why I wanted to talk to you. When I saw you here...I didn't know what to do Travis. I was so terrified to see you here-" She shook her head. "I thought you could have been dreaming again...but you weren't."

"I'm sorry," Travis mumbled. "Wait-" dreaming? What did she mean by that? "You thought I was dreaming...?"

Tyra smiled weakly. "Like I said. You have a strong connection to spirits. Thus this realm as well. You've been here a few times dreaming...But I've never been able to talk to you. I'm glad I could now. Even if this is the situation."

"Oh." The situation did suck. Travis never wanted to be meeting her like this. "I'm glad I could finally talk to you too" Travis smiled. "I...had so many questions for you but now I don't even know what to say." The teen chuckled, looking down at his hands.

Tyra laughed, shaking her head. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions that's okay honey. I'm glad I could talk to you again... properly this time" She chuckled. "And actually have me talk. Not some...monster acting like me. I have many questions for you." She said, gently reaching for Travis's hand, slowly taking it.

"You know about that?" He asked, looking up at her as she squeezed his hand gently. She was always so caring and kind to Travis as a kid.

"I do." 

"And you know about the cult?"

"I do." She nodded. "I knew about it from your father. After high school, we got married really early on and I was inducted into the cult by your father...and a few years later we had you." She frowned. "Since his father died...when Kenneth was 18 he took over. Maybe that's why he wants you to take over at 18 as well. In case anything bad happens. He manipulated me into believing what the cult was. Claiming we were bringing about the true God, and we would save everyone" She said softly. "But then one night...we sacrificed someone. Threw them down the pit And..." Tyra shook her head. "All I could think about was you. Your life...and I couldn't let you get trapped in that. And that's why you need to go back, Travis. To wake up and live. You deserve a life of freedom. A life of peace."

His mother's words were kind. They were. He couldn't though. "But I can't keep living," Travis mumbled, wiping his eyes as tears filled them again. Living was hard. "I can't-do it anymore." His vision filled with tears again. "I would be trapped anyways. I was so- close to being free that I can't go back there. I want to stay here with you." He found his mother. Even if she was dead. He found her. He made his peace already with everyone.

"Oh, my love..." Talya frowned, moving to cup Travis's cheek. The teen however flinched back harshly again. 

"You left me there." He sniffed out."Y-you left me for years! You didn't bother to even try to get me!?" Travis snapped out. "I waited, wished for YEARS for you. And then you just died!? Did you even try to find me?!"

Tyra looked at her son, who had tears streaming down his cheeks and breathing heavily "I was murdered." Tyra mumbled out "That's why I never came back for you. I was killed by Kenneth."

Travis froze at that. His angry eyes turned wide. "What..?"

Tyra shook her head, sighing sadly. She seemed uncomfortable. Like she didn't want this conversation, but would tell him anyways. "I had plans to leave and take you. That night after my fight with Kenneth I planned to come back for you the next day. I couldn't leave you there but...he murdered me." Tyra said quietly, looking away from her son. "We made peace. Or so I thought. He said he wouldn't fight, but just wanted to say goodbye to you. Which I agreed..." Tyra sniffed herself. I was off guard, and when he came back he killed me."

Travis looked at her horrified. He had a feeling. A gut feeling telling him Kenneth killed her. But to hear those words "I- I don't understand...I thought ghosts are glued to their death spot. And they couldn't pass over?" He stammered out, tears falling down silently 

"Some. The ones infected by the dark like in Addison apartments." She shook her head. "My sister Stacey and her daughter are still there. They were the ones you've met."

Travis looked at her with tears in his eyes. "So did you see...everything?" 

Tyra nodded. "I watched over you every day. The warm feeling in your chest, the peacefulness after a successful day. That was me." She smiled, moving to squee his hands. "I was always there for you Travis. I love you. And I'm so happy to see you become the kind sweet kid you always were. And I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to help you."

Travis's body shook again. It was all just too much. Everything felt like it was just too much all over again. He never thought this moment would happen but it did and he was here and he should be happy but he wasn't. The tears he tried so hard to keep down flowed out. Travis sobbed out, letting her wrap her arms around him. Just like she did when he was a kid. 

"When I want you in my arms...When I want you and all your charms" 

She rocked him back and forth, slowly, singing the same song she sang every time Travis cried. Whether it be from a scrape, or to the times he saw her get hit by Kenneth...or the time she found him burning his hand as a child. She would sing this song.

"Whenever I want you..."

This was their song. Theirs. And nothing could take that away from them.

"Al I have to do is...Dream...dream, dream, dream..." Tyra sang, running her hand through Travis's hair. He hadn't dyed it in a while, and more brown roots were growing in. Maybe that's why Kenneth forced him to dye it and keep it short. It reminded him of Tyra.

And it reminded Travis of his mother

"It's not your time to die. You need to go."

"But it's hard."

"It is hard...and it will be hard for a very long time. Surviving is the most complex and hardest challenge there is. But you will heal. You will get better. But it's not your time yet to die. Not for a long while...Go. Live your life, Travis. Get away from Kenneth. Be with the one you love." She smiled. "Because he's a good man for my son." She said moving hair out of his face. "And if your happy that's all that matters."

He sniffed softly. "I don't want to lose you again though."

She wiped his tears away and kissed his forehead. "I will always be here," Tyra said, placing her hand on Travis's heart. "You will never lose me. I will always be with you. And I will protect you, Travis. You have my word."

"But what about Sal-" Travis stammered. "I-"

"I'll send your letter to him. Writing is easier than speaking, and even if this is the case...I think he should know how you feel about him."

Travis couldn't help but feel his face heat up "How? I wasn't even thinking when writing it. It's just papers in my notebook."

"We have our ways" she smiled before closing her eyes. Tyra slowly started to fade, and warmth grew inside Travis. It felt like all her love, all her warmth, every aspect of his mother flowed into him again. He didn't know how to describe the feeling other than that it made him feel like a child again. Travis looked up at her with wide eyes, watching as she slowly started to fade away.

"I love you." He spoke to his mom, tearing up himself and smiled

"I love you too Travis. You need to wake up now."

White light flashed around the teen and Travis let a gasp out, opening his eyes.

Chapter Text

Wanna go to the dance as not friends but as a couple no.

You. Me. Prom.

I like you want to date and go to prom

Im bi. You're gay. Let's date baby GOD no.

I like you, Travis. I hope you feel the same way about me. 

"Whatcha writing there little dude?" Larry laughed, leaning over Sal's shoulder to see his notebook. 

Sal gasped and slammed it shut. "Nothing!" He yelled out, looking back to Larry. "Where you spying on me?" 

"No. Why would you think that?" Larry teased sitting down next to Sal. Lunch had just started and kids were already crowding into the lunchroom. 

Sal quickly shoved his journal into his backpack, pulling out his own lunch instead. After the bologna, he could never look at the food served here the same way again. Soon Ashley and Todd made it to lunch, followed by Maple and Chug.

But no Travis...He was probably running late.

A few more minutes went by and Travis still wasn't here yet, and Sal grew more worried. "I wonder why Travis isn't here." Sal sighed. "Didn't see him this morning at all." 

"Me neither." Maple hummed. "I normally always see him on my way to class. But not today."

Ashley coughed nervously, shifting in her seat. "You guys didn't hear?" She frowned. 

They all shook their heads confusedly, looking to Ashley with worry on all their faces.

Ashley scratched her cheek and sighed. "...Apparently someone called 911 to their house yesterday."

"What?" Sal's eyes widened. Someone called the cops? Was Travis okay? Was that why he wasn't here?

"Wait what the fuck?" Sal could hear someone else say, but at this point, it didn't matter who. All that mattered was if Travis was okay.

"There was just screaming. A lot. So some neighbors called the police. I don't know anything else. Some girl in my class who lives close to Travis said she could hear it. There's just rumors going around. Some are even saying they saw an ambulance there." Ashley frowned looking down at her food. "And I did see...an ambulance on my way home from work..." 

Everyone was dead silent at that. Horrified looks on their faces. But all sharing the same idea. Travis got hurt somehow. Rumors spread like wildfire and it was only a matter of time before the truth would come out. Travis was hurt. And was probably in the hospital. Did Kenneth go too far this time? Did Travis do anything to himself? 

Sal spent the rest of the day worrying. His leg shaking and his heart was pounding. Those rumors spread even more, some saying Kenneth caught Travis having sex with a boy, and those kids laughing at him. Others said Travis was doing drugs. Sal wanted to punch them. No wonder Travis got into so many fights before. Sal was pissed off.

"Hey, Dad I'm home." Sal chimed as he opened the door. Gizmo immediately ran over to him, meowing loudly before plopping to the ground, indicating Sal to pet him. "Lazy butt." Sal teased bending down to pet him. "I saw your car outside. How was work?" Sal asked looking at his dad but frowned. He would ask if his dad knew anything about Travis, and hopefully get some answers. Today was just awful and all Sal wanted to do was lay in bed for hours.

Henry was on the phone talking in a hushed tone, turning around when he saw Sal. "I gotta go. Sals home. Larry is probably on his way down. I'll call you back okay? Goodbye, love you too." He hung up, frowning.

"Who was that..?" Sal asked, a bit worried himself, and stood up, Gizmo rubbing his head on Sal's legs.

"That was Lisa. Its...It's about Travis." Henry sighed.

"Is he okay?" Fear ran into Sal. "People said police went to his house yesterday. Those were just rumors though..."

Henry looked away, walking to the couch silently.

"Dad...What happened?" Sal asked again.

Henry sat down, sighing. "Please sit down." He said quietly, patting the spot next to him.

Sal moved to take his backpack off, setting it on the ground as he sat down on the couch. Like Gizmo could sense his fear, the cat jumped up as well, purring against Sal's lap. 

"What happened? Please. What's going on...You're scaring me." Sal asked again petting Gizmo to try to calm him down.

Henry ran a hand through his beard before taking a breath. "Son...Travis tried to kill himself yesterday." 

Those words echoed in his head. 

No.

No no no.

"What...?" Sal croaked out.

Travis tried to kill himself? Sal knew that he was depressed. Travis told him. But trying to kill himself? Travis was hurting that much, and Sal didn't even notice. He didn't even care. Travis was struggling to eat, he had admitted to harming himself! What type of friend was he to not notice? Oh God was he even okay? 

"But...I saw him yesterday and-" Sal stammered. "He- he was happy! He was smiling and told me he would see me tomorrow-Monday! Today! He told me he would see me today at school!" The teen said tearing up. His heart began to race and it was getting harder to breathe. 

"I don't know the full story, but Kenneth came home early, and neighbors heard them yelling. A few hours later Kenneth found him unconscious in the bathtub. Apparently, he took some of Kenneth's sleeping pills and tried to down himself." He ran a hand through his beard again. "He's...still in the hospital right now."

"Is he okay now? I-" Sal asked terrified. He couldn't lose Travis. He just got him. He couldn't lose him again.

"He's...alive," Henry said quietly. "He was dead. For three full minutes Sal. It's a miracle he even came back."

"Then we need to go see him!" Sal yelled out, moving to stand up, Gizmo jumped out of his lap and onto the ground. "We- we need to go now!"

"Sal."

Sal moved to grab his backpack again. "We can still make it to the city. It's not that long of a drive. We can make it in time." The teen rambled, moving to put his backpack on him.

"Sal stop!" Henry yelled out, making Sal drop his backpack and flinch away. His dad hasn't yelled in years. 

Henry's eyes softened and he sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell...We can't see him."

"Why not?" Sal asked, his voice trembling still. He needed to calm down before going into an episode. Just calm down. Deep breaths Sal. Deep breaths.

Gizmo seemed to get the idea, meowing loudly again and placing his front paws on Sal's legs. Sal slowly moved to sit on the ground with Gizmo next to him.

"He's still on suicide watch until tomorrow. Only family can see him now." Henry shook his head. "Doctors and Kenneth's orders."

So just Kenneth. 

"We can go tomorrow then." 

Travis was alone with Kenneth again. That bastard couldn't just stop?

Henry looked sadly at his son before nodding. "Okay." He sighed. "I'll call in tomorrow. I'll say your sick." He mumbled. "I'm not sure if we can even visit him, but I'll let you know. In the meantime...Get some rest okay?" Henry said. "You can go to Larry's if you want."

Sal shook his head, picked up Gizmo, and held the cat close to him. "It's okay." He said quietly. "I'll probably stay...here."

"There was- I think Travis sent you something." He said standing up from the couch and walked to the kitchen counter, picking up a envelope with just Sal's name on it.

"To me?" Sal's eyes widened. 

Henry nodded. "I found it in our mailbox this morning. I didn't open it. Don't worry. I didn't think anything of it until Lisa called me. I have no idea how this even got there but it did" Henry said handing it to Sal. "I'd be careful when you read it. Just in case."

Sal looked at the envelope, nodding slowly. "Okay." He said quietly, moving to stand up. "Im going to my room."

"That's fine. I'll be out here if you need me." Henry said quietly, watching as Sal left and entered his room. Once inside he let Gizmo jump out of his arms as Sal walked to his bed, sitting down. He opened the envelope carefully to reveal two folded papers with writing on them. 

Sal's breath hitched as he unfolded them, having a feeling he knew that this was.

Sal Fisher.
First of all. Sorry for how long this is. Too many words that I needed to put down. Thanks for helping me. You've been the best thing in my life. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't live this life anymore. I was just tired. Every day was exhausting for me. Somedays it felt like I didn't want to wake. Maybe in another life, we could have been better friends. I still don't believe in reincarnation, but I hope it's true. Maybe we could be friends again. Maybe in the next life, I could more confident in myself. That I wouldn't want to smash a mirror every time I see my reflection. I wish I was happier in this life. But I wasn't. This is a cowardly move. I know that. And I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel guilty. You didn't cause this. Just know what. Please know that. None of this was your fault. Or Larrys. Or anyone. The grief will end soon, but all I ask is for you to remember me. Cause that's all I'm leaving behind in this life. I'm not leaving behind anything but my legacy. And my legacy was an ass before I met you. I was sad. I was angry. I thought the whole world was against me and I wanted to punch and scream and claw my throat out pleading to a God who never cared for me. I thought my father loved me. I thought God loved me. But love isn't that. Meeting you I learned what love really means. He hits me. He beats me. He locks me if the basement for days on end if he doesn't want to deal with me. He tells me I'm ugly and fat. That I need to starve myself to look presentable. Going so far as refusing to feed me. 

He lied to me. About our lives. Beliefs. I tried to forget it. To lie to myself To hope that I can create a new reality where my father actually loves me. But he doesn't. He carved a sick symbol of a cult on my back. Claiming it was the mark of God. He ruined my life just so I could join a fucking cult at 18. But not anymore. I'm done being his puppet. I'm done telling myself he loves and cares for me. He doesn't care about me.

But you did Sal. You cared. You let me inside when I needed to get away. We shared things we wouldn't think about telling anyone else. We helped each other in ways no one would understand. Ways my father never understood. Not even with my mother.
I remember that day you talked to me in the bathroom. It stuck with me these months. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person that I love you. I love you so much, Sal. You're like a parasite under my skin. Infecting my every thought. Every breath. All I can think about is you. I love you, Sal. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person. I don't know if you would even like me back. I doubt it. But you deserved to know. Your friends deserved to know. This was not their fault either. I just wish I could have told you this in person. I'm sorry this happened. I wish I could have done more. Maybe write a goodbye poem instead of a suicide note. People don't fear a poem. They fear a note. But please promise me one thing. Keep my memory alive Sally Face. That's all I'm leaving behind. Don't let people forget me. Don't let my name be a ghost out of this town. Thank you. 
-love 
-Travis Phelps. 

Tears poured down Sal's cheeks as he sobbed, pulling off his prosthetic quickly, gasping out for air as the teen cried, holding the paper close to him before laying down. Travis was okay. He was alive. so why did it hurt so much still to hear these words?

The next day couldn't have come faster. Early in the morning Henry and Sal drove to the city to see Travis. Thankfully he was taken off suicide watch and was allowed, visitors. As Sal made his way to Travis's room as Henry waited outside, he froze when he saw Travis. Travis looked...awful. The nicest way possible. He didn't have his arms covered like he always did, deep scars littering both arms and Sal's heart broke. IVs were stuck in there instead. One of his hands were in a cast, as well as part of his shoulder was bandaged up. His eye bags were the darkest they've ever been. It reminded Sal of the nights back at home. He had a tube going into his nose and taped onto his cheek, connecting to a container... and his eyes.

His eyes had no shine to them. No shimmer of hope or anything. Travis stared at the wall in front of him, slowly looking at Sal.

How could so much happen in a day?

"Sal." Travis croaked out. His voice was scratcher ed and deeper than normal, and his eyes widened. Not expecting Sal to be here.

"Hi, Travis," Sal said quietly. 

"Hi," Travis said weakly again, eyes darting around the teen. 

'"I came to see you. I wanted- to see you." Sal said, walking closer to Travis and sitting down in a chair, the two looking awkwardly at each other, unsure what to say. That was until Travis spoke up again. 

"He found out," Travis mumbled. "About everything." He said quietly. "The music, the photos, me sneaking out."

"I'm so sorry." 

"I couldn't take it anymore...so..." the teen shrugged, taking a shaky breath. "I was gonna be trapped there forever. And I couldn't."

"You could always get away." Sal offered. "You could have come to my place? To- Neils, Todds. Anyone."

"I couldn't," Travis said back, glaring at Sal, not with anger, but with sadness. "I would have been forced to be in the basement for days on end. I would be homeschooled by a church member. I would be forced to stay by Kenneth's side- I could barely do all this now. But with that? I couldn't live."

Sal shook his head. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." He said. Sal couldn't even imagine what Travis went through. Ashley said there was screaming. Sal hoped to God that part wasn't true...but judging by how he looked, Sal was believing that.

"I mean being honest I don't even remember what happened." He glanced down, picking at the skin on one hand.

"You don't?"

Travis shook his head. "I mean not really? It's all...spotty. I remember fighting about Kenneth finding out everything...I don't remember anything after that but I do remember cleaning myself up in the bathroom, seeing what he did to me, and just- planning that. It feels like deep down I was protecting myself. I mean I even had this dream- or vision...something that was I was talking to my mom." He said softly. "It feels like she was protecting me. That she's in me. It felt so real."

Sal smiled softly at that. "That's nice." He said gently. Whether it was a dream or reality Sal didn't care. Both were a possibility now and the fact that Travis had someone looking out for him.... was good. 

"It is. But some moments- are just moments I can't forget. Ever." He shuddered. "Even my mom can't protect me from everything..."

"What do you mean by that?" Sal asked.

"The symbol. It was the word sinner on my shoulder." Travis looked over to Sal. "He carved it as a reminder. I yelled at him. Told him the truth. That I knew and I guess I now have another part of my body that's fucked up." Travis grumbled, looking down at the skin he picked from his thumb.

Oh my god.

"Travis-"

"And it's just weird now?" He frowned. "I mean I've always hated people touching me without warning. Especially hands moving up around my face or my back but now it's just...I just get sent into not being able to breathe or move and I just feel like- I'm dying all over again the moment anyone touches my shoulder or back Even if it's my healed one I just panic. I don't know why."

"Has that happened before?" Sal asked worriedly. 

"Sometimes?" Travis frowned. "I mean if people are yelling a lot, or if I'm in a small space...I get those...feelings. But now it just feels worse" He frowned looking down. "It's like I'm right back there."

Sal knew that feeling all too well. He experienced that every moment after the attack. And now that Travis was feeling the same way just made Sal's heart sink.

"I was never going to escape. It was pointless even thinking about it. I couldn't be there anymore. Live through that. So...I found pills." Travis continued talking, tears forming in his eyes.

"What are you gonna do now?" Sal asked gently. 

Travis shrugged. "I don't know. I think I'm going to ward for like a month." He scoffed. "I overheard them talking yesterday."

"A month. That can be good." Sal nodded. 

Travis snorted and nodded. "A month is good. But Kenneth will probably get me in two to three weeks if he pays them enough." He grumbled. 

"That's stupid." Sal frowned. "Why is he- you need the help though."

Travis just shrugged. "Well. He's already mad that his precious reputation is ruined because of my attempt. So if he can't hit me again he'll take it out in another way." Travis snapped looking over to Sal. "Sorry." He grumbled. "I shouldn't- say this shit. It's just no one here is listening to me." He groaned. "I'm sorry you're hearing this."

"It's okay," Sal said quietly, taking a deep breath. "I...tried to kill myself, Travis. Three times."

"What?" 

Sal nodded. He never told anyone this before, but this could help for Travis. To show him it will be better. "After the accident...Life was horrible. Kids knew and they mocked me for it. Bullied me to the point I was begging to drop out. This wasn't just name-calling. It was horrible. It just got too much...I attempted twice before my third one. So in eighth grade, we decided to move. To start fresh after I got out of the hospital again" Sal shrugged. "My dad thought it was better for everyone."

"I had no idea." Travis's eyes widened. 

"None of my friends do. Besides Lisa." He sighed. "I'm sure they have an idea or something. But I never told anyone. It happened in the past. I got the help I needed, and healed."

"Does it ever get better...?" The boy asked hopefully.

Sal nodded. "It does. It makes take a while...but it does get better. It's gonna be hard. It..was really hard for me. But I promise it does get better." He smiled. 

"I'm so sorry though..." 

"It's okay." Sal smiled softly. "I got your letter by the way.." he said quietly. 

"Oh.." Travis swallowed. "I...Kinda forgot about that. I'm sorry." He mumbled, cringing.

He placed a hand on Travis's hand. "It's okay," Sal said quietly. "Saying those words are hard. So I'll say this." Sal took a deep breath. "I...I like you, Travis. I've liked you for quite a while now, but never wanted to attempt it until we got closer. I feel...I can be myself around you."

Travis froze at that. "Y...you like me?"

"I do." Sal smiled. 

"And you- wanted to ask me to prom?" Travis asked with tears forming in his own eyes. "As- us together?" He said as tears dripped down his cheeks silently. 

He nodded. "I wrote you, well tried to write a note asking you out" Sal laughed. 

"Do you have it with you?" Travis sniffed, wiping tears from his eyes.

"God no it was so bad." Sal laughed. "It would make you cry out of embarrassment" 

"Okay, now you have to tell me!" Travis smiled back. Tears still filled his eyes, however. "I bask in your embarrassment. And I did try to kill myself. So I should get something in return." He teased as Sal's ears turned a bright red.

"Wow already going that route I see how it is Phelps." The two laughed again. Sal liked these moments. Where they could just joke together with no worries in the world. "But- on that note...we can take things as slow as you need okay?" Sal smiled. "But I want to be with you, Travis. I want to be your boyfriend."

His eyes softened. "Hearing uh...boyfriend. Does feel scary. But I want it. I want this. I want you." Travis smiled, gently squeezing his hand. "This still feels like a dream." Travis laughed. 

"Well, then I hope we never wake up." Sal smiled. 

Travis would could be gone for a month. A full month. Sal was a little sad. Just as he got Travis, he was losing him, but Travis needed this. He was getting help. And Sal would wait as long as Travis needed. Because love doesn't have a time limit on it. Love withstands time. And also death. It is the strongest thing there is. There is no set way to love. No manual or instructions. Love was wild and untamed. But also beautiful. And Sal loved Travis. He loved him with all his heart. Sal wanted to shout it to everyone. Screaming until his throat was dry. 

Sal loved Travis Phelps. 

Chapter Text

The moment the phone rang, Sal jumped from his bed, almost tripping over himself and Gimzo. to grab it. "Sorry, Giz!" Sal yelled. He ran out of his room and grabbed the phone hanging from the wall. "Fisher- Fisher resistance!" He breathed out heavily. Travis said he would call whenever he could and it's been three days already. Since Sal didn't go to school today due having the worst migraine he ever had in his life, all that was on his mind was Travis. Which definitely didn't help is migraine at all.

Travis chuckled on the other end and God Sal's heart could just skip. "Did you run here because I called?" 

Sal missed his voice. "No." Sal laughed, breathing out. "Okay yeah, maybe I did." He chuckled "I just didn't want to miss your call. How- how is everything there? Is everything okay?" Sal asked. Travis sounded happier. He could just tell. The way his voice seemed lighter. 

"It's only been three days." Travis chuckled. "There's not a lot to tell you unless you want to hear about paint drying."

"I know I know!" Sal laughed. "Tell me everything though! How's your roommate? How's your room? Is the hospital good? Are the staff good? Do I need to punch someone?"

"Ok- ok." Travis laughed. "I mean I did go to therapy yesterday? But we didn't...do much. Just talk and introduce ourselves. My roommate is nice. Her name is Cassie. She uh, wants people to use she for her. I don't mind. She explained it to me. My room is nice as well. Not much to it. Just a bed on each side and two windows that are...it has metal gates on them. The hospital here is okay? I guess. And the staff is..." he sucked a breath in. "It's okay."

"What about the staff?" Sal asked. It's good that Travis had a nice roommate. Sal has had his decent share of good and bad roommates, but he was a bit worried about the staff

He sucked a breath in "They're...Okay..." 

"Okay?"

"Just there are things here I guess. I don't know." Travis sucked a breath in and sighed.

"What happened?" Sal asked, now worried. If anything happened to Travis he needed to know.

"I...On the first day here I just had a panic attack...and may or may not have passed out." He said quietly. "It was...really bad."

Sal's heart practically stopped. "What? Why- are you ok?"

"Im- im fine now." Travis stammered. "That's how my roommate, Cassie helped. She stayed by my side. Made sure the staff wouldn't put me in the white room." He mumbled. "One of the staff members grabbed me and then when I wouldn't stop freaking out, they kept grabbing me and we're gonna inject me with something and put me in this padded room...which only made me panic more and just pass out. I just had to stay in my room the rest of the day." He said quietly. "Said it was disturbing to the patients..."

Sal's eyes widened as Travis talked. "Shit. I'm so sorry. They fucking suck." That angered Sal. How dare they? They knew why Travis was there. They saw the bruises left by Kenneth, and yet they still grabbed him?

"It's okay. I'm serious. I'm fine now." He hummed, but Sal was worried it was a lie. Travis wouldn't want to make Sal worry about it. It was one thing he hated about the teen. "How- how have you been in these three days?" Travis asked. 

"I've been good. I didn't go to school today." The teen sighed. Sal woke up and knew it was an off day. From the way the air tasted to just a feeling, he was right. 

"Why not?"

"Migraine." Sal shrugged it off "How are you feeling about being there still?" Sal asked

"Weird. I had a headache this morning. But- I think I am happier.- I don't know. It's weird. I've been the most exposed I've ever been here. And it's scary. Kenneth hasn't even bothered to come to visit. Doubt he will and I'm glad." He heard Travis scoff. "He would probably say something like ' Travis Phelps how dare you get depressed God church Jesus meh meh meh ' Travis mocked in a deeper voice.

Sal chuckled at that, shaking his head. "Could I come to visit?" Sal asked hopefully. Travis did seem happier, and he was mocking Kenneth. Which was always amazing.

"Maybe. I'll have to check. It's honestly boring here." He snorted. But something felt off. Like Travis was hiding the full truth from him. "There's a small room used as a church that hardly anyone but staff uses, a main area with a TV...and a couch. And a table." He chuckled. "They put on Disney movies- like all day. But I'm gonna ask to see if we can get Footloose on it." 

"Footloose! Great choice." Sal laughed. "I will force you to sing along. Even if I'm not there just know. I can sense it." He joked

"Well can't wait for you to mind read me into singing." He laughed. "At least they're giving us paper and crayons to draw but I haven't." Travis hummed.

"Why not?"

"Hand duh. Remember how I smashed it like two weeks ago?" 

"Oh yeah." Sal cringed. "It was in a cast when I saw you."

"Mhm. Turns out I have nerve damage on it. Apparently. So that's not...great." he heard Travis sniff out. Wait. Sniff. Was he holding tears back?

"I'm sorry." Sal frowned. He remembered seeing Travis's bruised knuckles and how his hand shook sometimes. No wonder it had nerve damage now. 

"It's okay," Travis said quietly, taking a shaky breath. "I want to get better I really do Sal but...Theres just things here that terrify me. Im- Im trying so hard." His voice quivered, making Sal's heartbreak. "It's just-so hard."

"I'm trying so hard to be strong. I really tried whenever I heard you were calling. I wanted it to seem that i was doing better. It- only been three days but I just feel so fucking lonely." Travis sniffed, and Sal could tell he was crying. "People- just stare looking at my back- or my shoulder or- or my fucking arms and I still get so angry at them I want to yell at them saying to fuck off but I can't and-" Travis sniffed out again. "They don't throw food away but also force me to eat it and I want to. I really do but I just can't- I can't do it. I don't know how I'm gonna be here for a whole month." Travis sobbed.

"Travis, deep breathes remember?" Sal said gently. He understood exactly what Travis was feeling. Especially with people staring. Sal knew it all too well. His heart sunk that Travis was experiencing it too. "Its okay, deep breaths..."

"I know. Fuck-" Travis sniffed taking a shakey breath. "I know. I just- God. I want to like it here but sometimes I just get remided of Kenneth in some stuipd way and I just feel so paranoid here still. Im away from Kenneth. And the cult." He took a deep breath. "But Im just worried something could happen. That is not fully- safe here. That I won't get better. They've said if I don't start eating enough they'll put back the tube I had in the hopsital to force feed me."

Sal nodded. "That's reasonable...and it's okay." He said quietly. "You've been there for only three days. You're not gonna be magically better by now. It takes time. You're safe there. And no one can get you. I wish I could help you with the feeding tube as well Travis. I'm really sorry." Sals never needed to have one. but he wished he could give any advice to Travis.

"Its okay ." Travis sniffed. "I get it. I know they just want to help me, but its just all so diffrent here. I know im safe here and nothing can get me...Its just hard sometimes."

"Good." Sal smiled weakly. "See if you can have visitors? I can try to visit you on Saturday. If you want." He offered. 

"I'm like- an hour away though in the city." Travis sniffed out again but seemed to have stopped crying. "That's a long way just to visit me."

"So? I've had doctors and surgeries over 2 hours away. Hell. Ive had to fly to other states for some. One hour is nothing. Plus I miss you and want to see my boyfriend."

The other end became silent at that for a moment, and Sal was worried he got disconnected. "Hello?" He asked. "Can you hear me?"

"Y-yeah." He heard Travis stammer out.

Sal chuckled. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Mhmm" Travis swallowed. "Boyfriend. You said boyfriend that's- wow- uh-"

"Is it too soon?" He asked suddenly. Oh shit. Travis did say he wanted things to be slow. Maybe he shouldn't have said that out loud. He never said boyfriend before himself. Shit shit shit-

"No!" Travis gasped out loudly, Sal pulled the phone away from him. "No. Sorry. No its not soon. I just- didn't expect it." Travis laughed. "You called me your boyfriend." The teen stammered. "You called me boyfriend"

"I did." Sal smiled. "I want to call you many things." He said, trying to attempt to flirt. His only experience was with Ashley in freshman year, and look how that turned out. So he hoped this would be good. Plus he did get flirting advice from Larry. Which may not have been a good idea. But surprisingly it worked for Travis. 

"I- oh-oh- shit would you look at that" Travis spoke again- his voice shakey, but Sal assumed it wasn't from crying this time. "My time limit is up for the day! Oh- god dammit I have to go to...uh...therapy! Mhm! I have to go to therapy now bye Sal!"

"Didn't you just go to therapy yesterday?" Sal chuckled. 

"It's each day! Yep! Bye!" 

"Bye Trav." Sal laughed out at the flustered tone. It was cute. Travis was cute. 

"B-bye Sal." Travis stammered out again. He heard Travis hang up before setting the phone down, chuckling again to himself as well as blushing A couple of moments later he heard the door open and Henry stepped inside.

"Kiddo hey." Henry smiled. Immediately Gizmo ran out of Sal's room and ran over to Henry, meowing loudly before walking to Sal.

"Hey, Dad." Sal smiled softly, scratching Gizmo's head. "How was work?"

"It was good. Who were you calling?" He asked, taking his jacket and hat off.

"Travis," Sal replied, picking Gizmo up and held him like a baby in his arms. Gizmo happily purred at that.

"That's good. How's Travis?" Henry asked, walking to the kitchen to grab a beer. He hadn't been drinking as much as before, and now he was going through 2 bottles a month. Sal still wished it was none, but he was working hard on himself and to provide money. He was better than he was freshman year. 

"He's doing okay." Sal shrugged. "His first day wasn't great though. But..he's doing better." He was also dating Travis. 

"Good for him." Henry hummed, moving to walk to the couch but stopped, looking at Sal."I ran into Todd on the elevator. Said he needed to see you about a school project."

Sal's eyes burrowed at that. They didn't have a school project. The teen slowly set Gizmo down nodding. "Of course. I'll be back in a bit!" He smiled. 

Henry sighed nodding. "Just be back before dinner. Lisa and Larry are coming up."

"Again?" Sal teased his dad, who only stared at him in response before chuckling. 

"Just go." Henry smiled, waving his arm at Sal. 

Sal waved off and moved to his room to grab his prosthetic, clipping it secured to his face, and quickly left the apartment, heading straight down to Todd's apartment. 

"Todd hey" Sal smiled stepping into his room. Todd was typing away on his computer but stopped when he saw Sal, looking over at him.

"Sal!" Todd smiled. "I didn't see you today at school. What's up?"

Sal shrugged. "Just a bad day. Larry gave me all my work, but I just woke up with an awful migraine and did not want to get out of bed." He chuckled. 

"I'm glad you're feeling better. Have you talked to Travis?" Todd asked, typing away on his computer. 

Sal nodded. "There's phones there. You can call someone once a week but write them whenever you want." He hummed. "Travis just called me. Said it was...okay"

"That's very good." 

"Yeah- uh, my dad said you needed to see me?"

"Right! Yes of course!" Todd stopped typing, moving to grab some papers by his printer. "I found this," Todd said, showing Sal some papers and articles. 

"What is it?"

"The Phelps family tree." He said. "See look- the Phelps came here from the UK in 1679. And then 4 years later a ceremony was held between the Phelps and Greys."

"Seriously?" Sals eyes widened as he scanned the papers. Travis was related to the Grey tribe. That changed- everything. 

"Yeah." Todd nodded, typing away some more. "The greys are known for their psychic abilities. The most common one is being able to see the future like a seer." Todd explained. "Though there were reports of some people seeing items float and move."

"Telekinesis." 

"Exactly. Some could also talk to the dead as well."

Holy shit. "Travis told me about that. Particularly. Maybe. It sounds like that."

"When?" Todd stopped typing, his eyes wide.

"A couple of weeks ago- whenever- he told me he had a weird dream of me in the future. I don't remember if he told me what happened in it, but he said that. And he said he had a dream about his mom a couple of days ago. But said it felt really real." It was when he died for three minutes.

Todd stared at Sal, eyed wide. "So...is there any chance...that wasn't a dream?" 

Sal shook his head. "I don't know. It could be. Travis already was talking to a fucking-demon that led him into the temple."

"A demon is inside him."

"See! I mean shit." Sal cursed. "You think he actually has powers?"

Todd nodded. "Possibly. If he's a descendant of the Greys then he could have spiritual powers. That and he is a Phelps. The marriage happened after they built the Phelps ministry. Ironically enough there's no cult talk. But we know."

"Is it weird that- despite all that has happened that's the weirdest thing?" The fact that someone could have powers. Actual powers were so strange to Sal. Talking to ghosts? Yeah. Seeing ghosts? sure. Being able to see the future, talk to the dead and possibly have telekinesis? Now that. That was new.

"It gets weirder," Todd said pulling the paper out and handing it to Sal. "I did what you asked me to. I talked to Megan yesterday. About Travis's mom. She told me all she knew and...Everything seemed normal until I found that."

"Where did you find this?" Sal asked, his brow furrowed as he took the paper. 

"A scientist never reveals his secrets." Todd shrugged. "Plus it's also very much illegal so I can't even tell you. NDA."

"Fair enough." Sal shrugged not even questioning how Todd got this, reading more of the paper. The paper had a request for the deletion of records. Like someone didn't want her to exist anymore. His brow furrowed deeply at that. It had her signature on it...But he doubted it was really hers. "So Kenneth tried to erase her," Sal mumbled. 

He nodded. "Yeah. See? It's around the same time Travis said Tyra, his mom went missing." 

He was right. Sal didn't know what date she went...missing. but Travis told him she left when he was 11.

"And then there's this," Todd said again, rolling his chair to his desk again, grabbing another paper, and handed it to Sal 

Sals eyes widened the moment he read it. It was a request for the deletion of records again. 

For Travis. 

Issued by Kenneth three days ago. More specifically the day Travis tried to kill himself.

"I don't understand-" Sal stammered. Why did Kenneth issue this? Why- why would he do this? 

"You said that Travis told you Kenneth was basically gonna lock him away right?"

Sal nodded. Travis had given him permission to tell his friends that. "He said that Kenneth was taking him out of school and basically locking him in the basement for who knows how long. And that he would be by Kenneth's side permanently."

"Exactly." Todd adjusted his glasses." Basically to make Travis disappear. I believe if he hadn't...attempted...Then Travis would have been initiated into the cult that day."

"What?" Sal's eyes widened. 

"Kenneth needs Travis alive. He wouldn't kill him. No matter what happened. But he needs Travis. Travis even said he learned the truth about the Cult anyways. So why bother waiting until he's 18? Take him in now."

Sal couldn't move at that. Travis could have disappeared. The moment he admitted he liked Travis, it could have been taken away 

"We need to get Travis far away from Kenneth as possible," Todd said after a few minutes of Sal not answering. "I'm worried that we may not see him again." 

"What about our place?" Sal frowned, looking at Todd. "Kenneth doesn't know about it! We- then do we move in?"

'We should be moving in, in the summer." Todd mumbled. "July 9th." 

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. "Travis turns 18 in April," Sal spoke. "That- He wants to escape so badly Todd. What are we gonna do?"

"Then whenever he gets out, he stays with you." 

"But he could have access to these apartments." Sal stammered. 

Todd thought for a moment before his eyes widened. "Tell Henry the truth then."

"What?" He wasn't going to tell him about the cult!

"Im talking about Travis. Don't lie to him, but don't day the full truth. Tell him that Kenneth is abusing Travis, and you're scared that Kenneth could come here." Todd explained. "Mr. Addison has security cameras, and I'm sure he wouldn't let anyone in here that no one wanted."

Sal thought for a moment before taking a breath, nodding. "Alright." He said quietly. "That can work. I can see if Travis can stay with me once he gets out anyways. I- never liked the idea of him going back to that place after what Kenneth did to him." 

"Me neither. Travis is a good guy. I hope for the best for him."

Sal squeezed the paper still in his hands, looking at Todd. "Thank you. Seriously. For everything."

"Or course." Todd chuckled, adjusting his glasses. "I'm here if you need me for anything." He smiled. "And I mean anything."

Sal chuckled. "Me too man. Im gonna- put this in the box so we can hang up later, thank you again. So much."

Sal moved to get up to leave, but as he reached the doorknob, Todd began to speak again. 

"Tell Travis I said hi? And that we're all supporting him through this."

Sal smiled gently, looking at Todd. "I will." He said before leaving the room. Kenneth made Tyra disappear. He killed her. Sal didn't need to see her ghost to know that. Actually. He did see her ghost! Kenneth killed his own wife for whatever reason and then was planning to trap Travis in a cult he wanted no part of. 

Sal would do whatever it takes to help Travis. Travis deserved to be a teen. Hell. He deserved to be a child. Travis deserved the whole world and just thinking of him made his heart flutter. The same way it did when he read the note months ago. Sal didn't think it would be about him, but the thought of someone loving him was unimaginable. But not impossible. 

He would do whatever it takes to protect Travis.

Chapter Text

One month.

Travis spent one month in this place. 

Sal had visited once a week, as he was missing a lot of school and Henry was missing work as well, so visiting Travis on the weekdays wasn't working out anymore. But Travis didn't mind. He loved seeing sals blue hair walk through the doors every day. His heart skipped a beat every time and for the first time in a...long long time Travis didn't feel guilty. He didn't feel like Sal deserved someone else. Travis was DATING Sa now. Something that seemed impossible was finally coming true. 

From his time here he's gotten a diagnosis. Multiple to be exact. Major depression disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, paranoia, PTSD, and an eating disorder. Though Travis wasn't sure how he felt about the last two. Kenneth would of never given a shit about him, or care. blaming these disorders on "demons." 

Cassie, his roommate was still here for another three weeks. To be honest, Travis wouldn't have lasted here without her. She was amazing. After the first night here and his panic attack, Travis opened up to her about being gay and growing up Christian with an....intense father. She helped teach him about other terms. Bisexual, Transgender, which she said she was. She was honestly an amazing friend, and he hoped they could stay in contact. Cassie came from a Christian family as well, and as much as he loved Sal, it felt so amazing to talk to someone who understood. (Kinda. He did say it was a cult but not...a satanic one. She still seemed to understand the main picture) She was so sweet as well. She never stared at his back or arms, or anywhere else there were injuries. Nor ask any questions about it. They were there for each other. Which was something Travis would never forget. 

The staff were...still okay. Annoying, but okay. He wasn't sure how to feel about them after the first day, But Travis did seem to be doing better. Feeling better. Even if it was small steps, it was doing okay. He never needed to be put back on that feeding tube thing and was eating food again. It was a slow struggle, but they found a plan that worked for Travis. He would still need to work on it himself though. Even for self-harming, when the itch just wouldn't stop- instead of mocking him as Kenneth did, they walked him through ways to get rid of the itch without harming himself. And boy did they help. It didn't get rid of it fully, but it did relieve him of it. So yeah. Sure he wanted to strangle the staff when they shined a flashlight in his face every 15 minutes because how on earth can someone sleep when no one lets you. The staff was annoying, but okay. 

But that was over now. He was walking to Kenneth's car in silence. Fear ran through him as he entered the car silently. A whole hour in the car. Alone. Great.

Kenneth slammed the door shut. "I can't believe that stunt you pulled Travis," Kenneth grumbled as he started the car. "Do you have any idea about the rumors being spread about us because of your stupid suicide attempt?" He hissed as they drove out.

Travis rolled his eyes, looking away. "Of course, you would say that." He mumbled, looking out the window as the city passed them by.

"What the fuck did you just say?" 

"Of course, you would care about your reputation more than me," Travis grumbled again. "You always have."

Kenneth grabbed a wad of Travis's hair and slammed his head against the glove department. It didn't break but that would leave a bruise. "You shut the hell up, boy. You had no problem downing that bottle of pills and drowning yourself." He snapped letting go of his hair. "After all I did for you after your whore of a mother left. I could have kicked you out for good so many times. But I kept you. I still am keeping you under my roof. Where you would *stay.* You even look like her now with your hair." Kenneth scoffed. 

Travis gritted his teeth as he sat back up, holding his head. That part was true, his once bright blonde hair was now looking dirty blonde, brown roots beginning to show. And it was even longer. Parts of it covered his ears, as well as almost reaching his eyes. But besides that, he felt like himself still. He was wearing a plain shirt the staff gave him with shorts as well. Nothing special in the slightest.

"What? Got nothing to say?" Kenneth grumbled. 

"Nothing you wouldn't beat out of me," Travis grumbled. "Oh wait." He said, not bothering to look at Kenneth. 

"You're a fucking little shit, Travis." Kenneth snapped. "Your time here has made you act like a cunt. Maybe your attempt should have worked." 

Travis shut his eyes at that, tears forming again but he refused to let them fall. He refused to let Kenneth win. He hoped to drown the world away. He wanted to go back already. As annoying as that place was with its rules, it was better than this. Hell school was better than this. And he hasn't been there in over a month. But now he was back. Back with the man who lied to him about his whole life. Back with the man he called a father. Back with the man that made Travis see life as pointless. He wouldn't let Kenneth get under his skin this time. Not anymore.

Back at home, Travis was ordered to his room, and after staying there for two hours he began to grow bored. He could hear Kenneth's muffled yelling from downstairs and curiously he got up to investigate. Carefully walking down the stairs the voice only grew louder. Kenneth seemed pissed. Travis made his way to his office, moving the door open a crack to peek inside, and sure enough, Kenneth was on the phone...talking about...Travis?

"I know he tried to kill himself. If you care to remember I found him unconscious under water with the pill bottle empty." Kenneth snapped in a hushed tone. 

"My plan? I planned to start the inattention early. But then he had to fuck it up." Kenneth grumbled before freezing, seemingly growing angry at the person on the phone. "I know the original plan was to wait until he was 18. He knows about it now. I'm sure it was from that- boy Sal and his freak friends. I had to act accordingly." Kenneth paced around the room as he talked. "He's more cocky than he was before. Snapping back at me. I will deal with that in due time as well." Suddenly his demeanor changed and his face turned red in anger. "He won't kill himself again. I'll make sure of it. This will not be another Luke situation." Kenneth grumbled, thinking for a moment. "His mind is too weak for initiation. Or another ritual even if I wanted it. It could break him, and then we would have no one to lead. " Kenneth moved to sit down, sighing. "He needs to heal and then we can move forward. I may know who he can stay with...been calling me multiple times already." Kenneth muttered. "It may be risky, but make sure to keep eyes on him, and send me updates. May our sight be everlasting," Kenneth said before hanging up. He sighed, rubbing his temple before looking up.

Travis gasped and immediately darted his head away from the doorway, but it was too late. Kenneth saw and a split second later, he slammed the door open, glaring at Travis.

Travis looked horrified at him, waiting for a strike, but it never happened. 

"You're staying with Henry for the next month until your 18," Kenneth said calmly. "He's been calling for the past month asking for you, saying you're more than welcomed to go there once you get out." He scoffed. "Cleary you're too unfit to be here. And I personally don't want to deal with...this." He grimaced. "At 18 you will take over the church and move back home. Understood?"

"What?" Travis was taken aback at that. Kenneth was...letting him go?

"I know you, Travis. You're too much of a coward to do anything right. You would probably kill yourself to get out of your job." He said. Kenneth moved to grip his shoulder tight. "Just know you can't escape destiny boy. Sooner or later it'll catch up to you." He spat out, squeezing down on the wound.

Panic rushed through the teen as the man was pressing down on the same wound he caused. As punishment To make Travis break? No. Not this time. Travis wouldn't get lost in his mind here. Not now. Despite him finding it hard to breathe again, he angrily snatched his shoulder away, glaring at Kenneth. Rage building up in him. "Go Fuck yourself, Kenneth." He snapped out. 

Travis wasn't surprised when Kenneth punched him. But at least he got the last words in. 

"Hey asshat" Sal smiled as Travis opened the door. Travis had his backpack on him, consisting of clothing, some medication, a toothbrush, and his pillow. After Kenneth had called Henry, it was only a matter of seconds before they said they were on their way here.

Travis chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Hey, fuck-face." Travis smiled as the two hugged tightly. Sal had an arm around his shoulder and another one on his back, while Travis just held Sal as close as possible. Sal was wearing a low ponytail with a white shirt, a black button-up with stars on them, and black jeans.  He was also wearing his prosthetic like he normally does.

"Wow. Fuckface?" Sal pulled away dramatically. "Do you hate my face that much Traaaaavis?" he teased Even with the prosthetic Travis could imagine his face.

Travis snorted. "You wish. Also asshat? Are you insulting my ass Saaally face?" Travis teased back.

Sal chuckled. "I missed you," He said softly. 

"I saw you two days ago." Travis chuckled. 

"I know! Still! I miss this- I miss us." Sal hummed, however, his eyes softened. "Your face..." Sal frowned, moving to place a hand on the teen's face. He had a bruised cheek and busted lip, as well as a small red bump on his forehead

Travis flinched back at the moment but leaned into it. "Kenneth got pissed I talked back. It's okay. I told him to go fuck himself." Travis smiled, wrapping his hands around Sal's hands, holding them tight. "Im free." 

The ride back to the apartments weren't that long, however, a very quiet ride. Henry asked how he was doing, Travis replied, and that was it. Sal was hiding something though. He could tell from the glances he made to his dad, Henry smiling back. It wasn't until they reached the apartment and stepped inside, his eyes widened. 

Filling the kitchen table was presents, ranging from big to small, more than a dozen it seemed.

"We..know your birthday isn't for another month, but we had this plan for you...a few days after you left." Sal spoke softly. "And don't worry! Before you ask. This did not cost a lot of money. Seriously. Most of them are hand-me-downs, but they are still in great condition." 

Travis's eyes darted around the presents, unable to even speak. They did do this for him? Tears soon dripped down his cheeks as he just stood there.

"The only pricey thing there was this typewriter, we can't afford another computer besides the one my dad has, and I know you like writing so-" Sal stopped when he saw Travis crying. "Shit. Is it too much? I'm sorry. I didn't know-"

"No-no it's okay!" Travis sniffed wiping his eyes. "It's- Just no one has ever done this for me-" The teen laughed as tears continued to pour down. "It's just- Holy shit!" Travis wiped his eyes again. "I don't even know why I'm crying!" He said through sobs. 

Sal smiled softly at that, gently moving to take Travis's hand. "I'm glad you're happy." He smiled out.

After a tearful event of Travis opening a few of the gifts, they decided to take a small break, as Travis was continuing to cry. He didn't feel upset at all, just overwhelmed. He was given a typewriter, some new journals, some temporary tattoos, and a new cassette tape. And a Polaroid camera. He stopped opening gifts after that. Promising Henry he would continue, just not right now. Ever since Tyra left died. Kenneth stopped doing anything for his birthday. No card. No cake. Nothing. The only remark he made, if he even acknowledged Travis that day was. "You're one year older son." And that was it. 

He never knew how much he missed this until now. Especially over this. Sal and the others bought things for him. Gave up their own things for him. That thought alone made Travis want to cry all over again. A few months ago he was calling them slurs, yelling at them, and now they were calling him their friend, and gifting him items. Travis wasn't sure if he even deserved this. So many others had it worse than him. He's seen them. They deserved this. Not him. But still, he couldn't help but feel thankful.

Travis was now in Sal's room, the two laying on the bed together. Travis's arms wrapped around Sal as their legs were tangled together. Travis rested his head on Sal's chest while Sal had his chin on Travis's head. He wasn't wearing his prosthetic, and all Travis wanted to do was just stare and study everything on his beautiful face.

"Proms in...a few days," Sal said quietly after a moment, his hands combing through Travis's hair. Brown roots making their way back into his hair.

"Right before Spring break," Travis mumbled, letting his eyes close and relax. "You excited about going?" He asked.

"Yeah..." Sal frowned. "I'm thinking about...not going," Sal mumbled. 

"What? Why- why not?" Travis asked, opening his eyes and pulling away.

Sal frowned, moving to sit up, pulling his legs close to his chest.

"Sal?" Travis asked worriedly, scooting to sit up as well.

"I don't really want to go."

Travis frowned, opening his mouth to speak slowly. "Do...do you wanna talk about it?" He asked hesitantly, moving to place his hand on Sal's arm. "It's okay..."

Sal shook his head, burning his face into his arms. "Its...I don't know. I really want to go but, It's just my face." He whispered out.

"What about your face?" Travis scoffed. "It's beautiful." He smiled softly. 

He saw a soft smile spread on Sal's face before it dropped. "I just, am worried something may happen...at the dance." 

Other kids he means. Travis was well aware of the bullying Sal went through. Hell even if Travis did bully him he never mocked his face at all, or even tried to take his prosthetic off like other kids have tried to do. "What if we have it here?" Travis asked. "So it's not at the school?" And so he wouldn't punch the shit out of anyone who mocked Sal.

"What?" Sal asked after a moment, looking up at Travis.

"Prom. Here. You have roof access. Or at least somewhere does. I've seen it. We could have it there?" He asked. "Honestly I wasn't sure about going myself. Tickets are already on sale and I haven't been in school- for over a month." Travis chuckled,. "Plus im pretty sure my father already unrolled me...so..."Travis kept looking at Sal. He gently brushed a strand of blue hair out of his face smiling. "We could have it here," Travis said, however, his hand still lingered on Sal, moving down to his cheek. 

The two looked at each other hesitantly, their eyes locking on each other. The teens didn't know what they were doing, but none were giving any signs to stop. Slowly leaning closer and closer together, both feeling the breath of the other on them. Their lips about to touch when suddenly-

The door was kicked open, and Larry popped his head through. "Hey, fuckers!" He laughed out.

The two teens pulled away immediately at that, Sal covering his red face with his hands while Travis just stared at Larry, with just a blushing face as well and eyes wide.

Larry looked between the two, raising an eyebrow, and smirked. "Well sorry to interrupt this little hangout~" He teased

"Shut up- Shut up!" Sal laughed, face still a blushing mess as he grabbed a pillow, throwing it at Larry "Why the hell are you here?!"

Larry dodged the pillow laughing. He placed a hand on his heart dramatically. "Wow, I'm hurt, little dude. I came to visit! Can't your best friend come say hi?" He laughed, looking over to Travis. "Hey, Travvv."

"Don't ever call me that again." Travis said blankly but cracked a smile. "It's good to see you, Larry. Been a while." 

Larry shrugged, walking over to the two and purposely sat between them, forcing the two to scoot away to make space. "Ah, I miss this." He hummed, wrapping an arm around Sal, and looked to Travis. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Care to take on this act of affection?"  He grinned smugly. "C'mon Travy~"

Travis rolled his eyes at that, laughing. "You know what. Go wild. Just avoid, here." He cringed, gesturing at the area he had his injury. It was healed, but the scarring was still left and still hurt, very much. "And never call me Travy either! I can and will punch you."

"I know!" Larry grinned at that before wrapping his arm around Travis's shoulders as well. "Ah the three of us. Just like old times." He said pulling them closer together.

"Didn't you call me a dick not even 6 months ago?" Travis asked confusingly. "Not even 3 months ago?"

"Shh just let him go on this talk." Sal chuckled rolling his eye. "He does this. You cant make him stop until he gets it out of his system." Sal laughed.

"Thank you, Sal! Anyways. As I was saying. The three of us back together just like old times in January." Larry sighed. "I'm sure you saw those gifts Travis and I can assure you I got you the only good music taste there is, as well as those temporary tattoos in case you want to rebel. On top of that since you're going to be here for a month, or longer. I will make you you embark on everything teenager your stuck up can I call him stuck up?"

"I mean I called him a fucker." Travis shrugged.

"Even better!" Larry grinned, shaking him gently. "I will teach you everything your fucking unless excuse of a father never taught you. For starters did you know that..."

As Larry talked, Sal and Travis shared a look, smiling softly at each other. A once dream is now true and real. Maybe they needed to pinch themselves just to prove this was real. And this was happening. 

Travis always felt guilty for loving a guy. He still does now. Years of suppression just don't go away even after your life is a lie. But now this time he had Sal to help him through it. As much as he wanted to kiss Sal, they both knew it would take time. And time is all they have right now. Travis was lucky his father. (If he can even call him that) let him leave to stay here, but something still felt wrong. Why did Kenneth go from wanting to trap him, to letting him go? 

That was worries for another time. Because today Travis felt alive for the first time in many years. And this time he was going to make every second here count. He got a second chance at life and this time, he would live. 

Chapter Text

Prom.

Everyone could only talk about Prom. While the school was having its own prom in the cafeteria, Travis and everyone here was having it on the roof. Travis was terrified. He wouldn't lie, standing in front of a mirror in Sal's room as he struggled to finish tying a bow tie around his neck. He had a white button-up, suspenders under him, and nice dark blue pants. Everything was going great except he was getting so worked up over this stupid tie.

"Fuck-!" Travis cursed out, grabbing the tie off his shoulders and threw it to the ground. This was useless. He couldn't tie a stupid tie. His hand wouldn't stop trembling or make a fist no matter how hard he tried, and trying to grip onto fabric was impossible. Ever since he punched someone's face, and a wall with the same hand it started to tremble. Guess it made sense when he kept going and using it for a week straight after, and only until the hospital did they put a cast on it. Sal explained that he gets that feeling too with his face. Saying that some days he can't even talk or even get out of bed with how much his face is just throbbing pain. He has good and bad days, and Travis was having a bad day. Travis didn't want to admit he also was never taught how to tie a bowtie at all, and he denied all help from anyone, saying they need to get ready themselves. He knew he should ask for help, but he couldn't. It was still hard to go from not asking for clarification or help for anything, even if he didn't understand, to now being supposed to call for help whenever he wanted. That felt almost impossible. 

Speaking of help, as Travis once more grabbed the bowtie and tried again, a familiar voice called out behind the door. "Travis. Need any help?" He heard Henry ask knocking on the door. 

"Shit- I mean- I'm fine!" He yelled out. He shouldn't lie anymore. The therapist at the hospital said it was better to ask for help...but that was still hard. 

"You sure? I'm more than glad to help if you need anything." He heard Henry

Travis thought for a moment before groaning. Maybe he should ask for help. Henry knew what he was doing....and he was staying here as a guest. "I can't tie this...stupid bow tie," Travis mumbled finally. 

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure...Whatever." 

Henry opened the door, looked over to Travis, and rose a brow. "How is the suit fitting?" Henry asked, shutting the door behind him.

Travis shrugged, rubbing his arm nervously "Good. You...didn't need to buy it for me." He mumbled. "I could have just found something myself that didn't cost a lot of money"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. Now. You need help tying the tie?" He asked.

Travis nodded. "My hands...not working." He grumbled. "And...I was never taught how to tie one. Kenneth never..."

"I always struggled with ties. It's okay. Here give it to me." The man smiled, holding his hand out. 

Travis looked at Henry for a moment before pulling the tie off of him, handing it to Henry. He didn't know why his body shook. Out of fear? Out of memory? Henry would never yell at him, but that fear still clung to Travis. Kenneth would always curse him out over the smallest of things. Needing help with homework? A scream and maybe a slap. Forgetting one small ridiculous chore that Kenneth clearly forgot to tell him? Eating too much food. Kenneth would scream over anything. But here Henry was, volunteering to help.

Henry moved closer to Travis, wrapping the tie around his neck. Travis couldn't help but flinch back. Henry looked up at that but made no comment. "My father never taught me how to tie, ties." He sighed, looping it around. "I never learned until college." He pulled the tie in a loop.

"Really?" Travis asked, shocked.

Henry nodded. "My father just forgot. He never had time for me. But I learned myself. I watched other people tie them and just practiced in the mirror until it was easier...But I managed."

"Why...didn't he teach you?" Travis asked.

Henry shrugged. "He had more important things to deal with I guess." He said twisting the tie. "But like I said, I learned on my own. Without his help." He sighed, finishing up tying the tie. "There we go!" He smiled, adjusting Travis's collar, and gestured to the mirror for Travis to look at.

Travis looked at the mirror again slowly. He looked good. His brown roots showed proudly on his faded yellow hair, which he just let hang loose, it was definitely longer. But despite this, he didn't look anything like Kenneth. Honestly? He looked like his mother. Travis brushed the hair out of his face and walked closer to the mirror. The more he looked, the more features of his mother he could see. He had her face.

"Your a good kid Travis." Henry smiled. "Sal's been through a lot. And so have you. Which makes you a part of this family. We're survivors."

Travis looked back to Henry and smiled weakly, nodding. "Yeah...Yeah, we are." A survivor. Travis liked the ring of that. After everything he went through. He was a survivor. He slowly moved to Sal's bed and sat down on it, Henry moving to sit down as well.

"It doesn't take a genius to know what happened with you and Kenneth," Henry said quietly. "My father never cared for me. He lived in our house, but it felt like he never lived there. I don't think he ever hit my mother. Or if he did she never told me." Henry sighed. "He yelled and drank a lot, however. That's why I never learned to tie. Or anything really. All the things sons and their fathers do, We never did." He shook his head. "Then, my senior year of high school, he left my mom to go with another family."