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Eddie finds him in the living room, lying on his side on the lumpy couch. He’s got his phone out, no doubt deep in some wiki rabbit hole of doom.
“Babe,” he whispers as he reaches out and rubs Buck’s shoulder. “It’s 2 AM. Why don’t you come to bed?”
“Can’t sleep,” Buck mumbles back.
Eddie leans down, folding his arms on the back of the couch. “You haven’t even tried.”
Buck appears to have found a page of fun facts about trees if what Eddie can see is anything to go by (…trees are the longest living organisms on Earth, and never die of old age…).
Buck sighs through his nose, finally clicking off his phone. “I’m having a noisy night.”
Eddie lifts himself back up, stretching a bit as he does so. “You wanna talk about it?”
Buck shakes his head. “I don’t want to keep you up. It’s not like it’s anything in particular…it’s everything and it’s nothing and it’s all stupid and it sucks.”
Eddie walks around to the front of the couch, looking pointedly at Buck’s legs, sprawled and tangled in the loved-to-tatters blanket his Abuela gave him 20 years ago. The legs are obediently lifted and Eddie situates himself under them as Buck readjusts so he’s more on his back than his side. Eddie untangles the blanket and lays it over the both of them more properly, though he snakes his hands under it and starts lightly rubbing Buck’s shins.
“Well, I’m here if you wanna talk about it. Or we can cuddle out here until both our backs hurt from lying on this lumpy-ass couch.”
Buck is quiet for a moment too long and Eddie glances up to his face, afraid his attempt at humor has put him off; his cheeks are pink and eyes watery and distant. They make eye contact for just a second before Buck’s gaze is skittering away again.
“You promise not to laugh?”
“Babe, I would never laugh at something that has got you upset.”
Buck takes a deep breath. This is a part of himself he’s learned to keep locked away from anyone but Maddie, really. The scant few other people he’s let in this particular part of his psyche did not react well, to say the least.
And if Eddie laughed at him? It would break his heart.
Then, like the sweet man he is, Eddie gently pinched his calf, getting him to look back his way. “It’s also ok if you want to be alone, I can go back to bed if you really want me to.”
Buck opened his mouth, and just word vomited at Eddie, regretting it as soon as the first words slid past his lips, but unable to stop the deluge once it started.
“…I’ve had the original Legend of Zelda theme song stuck in my head for like six days, which you know is fine on its own, but then there’s also this guy called Amigo the Devil I’ve been listening to that’s like…murder folk? He sings weird stuff, but it’s really really catchy. So catchy that it’s now playing over top the Zelda theme. Even when I sleep. So like, when I toss and turn, for those three or four seconds I’m awake, it’s alternately ‘dun-dun dun-da-da-da-da-dunn…’ or some guy singing about a murder-suicide like it’s the most romantic thing in the world. So there’s that. And also, my parents are coming into town next week, did I tell you that? Oh, sorry, yeah I guess not. I’m not exactly excited about it. Our last video therapy session did not go well. And I think Bobby’s mad at me about something. I’m not sure what, but I can feel it. And that…that’s just like…the tip of the iceberg, you know? Like there’s just so much more in there, yelling for my attention.
“Like, did you know that I stole seven dollars from Maddie once? I wanted to go to this fair thing my elementary school was putting on and our parents wouldn’t let me; I was grounded for some reason or another. And I didn’t have any money of my own—that was like…one of the things they did whenever I’d get in trouble, take like a fine or something from my piggy bank. Can you imagine that? Taking all twenty three of your eight-year-old’s dollars? Anyway, yeah. I was mad and I wanted to go and so I snuck into Maddie’s room and stole seven bucks from her dresser and climbed out the window and went to the fair on my own. I got in so much more trouble, but I didn’t care. I think that was one of the first times Dad laid his hands on me…” he trails off for just a second, suddenly realized he may have revealed so much. He catches up quickly though, and attempts to hurry on.
“I can safely say lesson learned on that one. The only thing I’ve stolen since that day is hearts.” Buck peters off with a wink, but the rapid rise and fall of his chest betrays his confidence.
Eddie decides to steer around that bit of trauma for now, tucking it away to talk about another day. Instead, he flashes him the brightest smile he can muster at this time of day and instead tries to focus on his attempt at levity. “Oh god, you’re just the absolute cheesiest.”
“Yeah, but you love me.” Buck says, wiggling his feet a bit so his calf muscles flex under Eddie’s hands.
“True, true,” Eddie says after a while, “that really sucks about the songs stuck in your head. If there was any cure for that, I would run right out and buy it.”
That earns him a huffed little laugh, so he continues. “I’m a little concerned about your choice in music, but we can address that later. As for your parents…honestly? Fuck them. You don’t have to see them while they’re here and you don’t have to keep doing therapy with each other if it’s not working for you. You’re under no obligation to maintain a relationship with people who have made it clear that you never have been nor ever will be a priority. We can do awesome stuff with Chris instead.”
Buck nods along, looking a little hopeful. “Yeah, I was going to say we should like…take him to Lego Land or something, maybe a whole weekend trip?”
Eddie grins as he removes one hand from where he’s been still gently rubbing his legs to reach out and grab his hand. “That sounds like a great time to me.”
“And,” he continued, “Bobby is not the kind of person to be mad at someone and not let them know. Well, most of the time, anyway. He’s working on it at least. As for Maddie, I’m willing to bet she’s forgiven you for the seven dollars.”
Buck contemplates all that for a while. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
They head off to the bedroom, though they’re both now more awake than they are asleep, so they fool around for a while until Eddie is drifting off.
He wakes a scant hour later, opening his eyes and letting them adjust to the gloom as he watches Buck try to roll over in slow motion, doing his best to not make the bed squeak or move too much.
“Y’know,” Eddie says, startling the shit out of Buck, “it would be less distracting if you just tossed and turned at regular speed.”
Buck groans, shuffling to where he’s finally more on top of Eddie than he is touching the actual mattress. Luckily for them both, Eddie doesn’t mind the squish.
“Is it the murder guy or Zelda?”
“S’murder guy.” Buck says against his chest and Eddie starts to rub his back, lulling him back toward sleep.
“Tomorrow we’re going to find you something new to listen to. No murder.”
“Yeah, ok fair.” Buck says and drifts off.
And if Eddie hums the Zelda theme in the morning while Buck makes pancakes for him and Chris and Buck shoots him a playful death-glare, that’s more laughing with him than at him, right?