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Dark, gloomy, hurt, full of pain, it could be said that he was the child, Vil, in those moments, at his ten years old, everything seemed so closed to him, Vil felt in a box where he could not receive help from anyone, not even from his father, he was confused, full of frustration for not understanding why things happened like this
Why can't he be better than Neige?
Why can't they give him more attention?
Why does he always have to be second?
The bad guy?
That little boy just wants to be good, he wants everyone to applaud him and watch him to the end, he wants to shine as a hero, enough with the villain roles.
It hurts him to no end, he simply wants to cry and have what he wants, what he strives so hard for, Vil is talented and full of energy to achieve his goals, but whether he achieves them as he wishes, does not depend on him.
Neige wants to be his friend, he wants to be close to him, he is cheerful and kind to everyone, he is always like that even with him, but Vil does not want to be by his side, all the pain in his soul simply turned into hatred and envy towards, who was least to blame, yes, the hatred towards Neige was something so marked in his life, since childhood and, feeding it during his years was nothing more than leading him to an almost tragic destiny, where he would really become the bad guy of the story, no matter how much he tried to justify or excuse himself, Vil understood it, he was guilty of his feelings and his actions, even after saving humanity, he had to seriously take charge of his life, rethink it and understand that he had made a mistake and remedy it.
Yes, he understood it very late, but Vil was always responsible for his actions, he was always like that, Vil was a more mature person now and asking Neige for forgiveness for everything, was one of the bravest things he could do, again, Vil did things in the best possible way.
As an adult, he understood that many things in his childhood were immature, full of mistakes, things that could have been avoided, little Vil would be so surprised to know how much his life had changed for the better, finally, life had given him what his heart wanted so much, peace.
However... Nothing like his ten year old self would have wanted. In a completely different and wonderful way, that surpassed any desire of his little head, something that surpassed any expectation, something so big and majestic that it did not fit in his reality.
The blond saw him on the ground, almost crying, far from everyone's sight, alone.
He approached him, with slow steps, his heels were very loud, but now they almost didn't sound.
When he was close enough, Vil bent down slightly and put his hand on his shoulder, on the shoulder of his own self.
He was startled and looking up he stepped back on the floor still, he saw himself, they both did, the little one wanted to speak but couldn't, he lost himself looking at his more adult version, he was kind of looking for himself, he knew there was a certain familiarity about him, deep down he knew it, but soon he spoke in a not very nice way.
- Who are you!? How did you get in here!? -He frowned, angry, according to him, he was alone.
The elder could only take compassion on him, and looked at him warmly.
-I'm you. -He said bluntly.
- E-eh...? Me...?
The taller one took him by the hand and helped him up.
-Yes, I'm you, Vil Schoenheit, but unlike you and me, I'm an adult.
- How come... Is that you? I can't understand, how can you talk to me?
Vil took some time to answer, he really didn't know.
-I don't know, I'm not aware of that, but now that we're together, I don't want to waste my chance.
The shorter one looked down at his feet and looked pathetic, he thought, at the reality of things.
-Now it's just the two of us here... -He said with his voice low and dejected, muffled.
Vil laughed and looked at the boy.
-We still have each other, you and me. -Vil moved and got the other little boy, who let himself go, and then remembered something very important in his opinion.
- Wait...! Am I really so beautiful!? -He pronounced with shining eyes, in love with his appearance in a few years, a slender body, beautiful face, well-groomed hair, divine hands, style, a fantastic aura that he already knew he had, but to see him like this... He loved it so much, so much that he almost forgot his sorrows behind.
-You are. Vil smiled at him answering his own question, and not only in his twenties, if not always, in his childhood he knew he was beautiful, he was vain and very careful with his appearance as he was now, right now he saw that he was also beautiful, himself looking beautiful, it was something that comforted his heart but he also realized that, in reality, he did not appreciate it in the right way, he did not have enough self-esteem to be enough in his virtues and talents, if not he wanted attention, justly.
Children deserve love, and Vil had it, too bad he got carried away with things that actually carried much less weight.
They both sat in one part, without much, to talk.
-I never thought this would happen.
-Nor did I, it's strange talking to myself, not to mention we're so different from each other, within ten years, things can change radically. -He smiled as he crossed his arms.
The youngest, who had a sad face now, with traces of tears almost coming out, asked worried about his future.
-How are things going? Right now, as you may know firsthand, I feel like I can't handle it, like I'm falling apart.
He thought, but not too much, he took a breath internally to look him in the face, a devastated and hurt face like that, made him want to hug him and cry with him.
However....
Vil was proudly happy to be aware that things got better in the end.
-Well, where do I start, should I tell you everything?
- I-if it's not too much trouble!
-You'd better ask me something, so you'll be satisfied with the answers I give you, because that's what you want to hear, okay? -He winked at him gently to inspire confidence, even though he already had it completely, it was all about him.
The little Vil thought about what he wanted to ask, he had no qualms about asking things that denoted his negative feelings.
- Am I the most beautiful of all...? -He looked at him piercingly, staring into his eyes, hoping he would say yes, he was, more than Neige. - Are you? -He changed the question, referring to the future, to his future, to Vil's own future, who was in front of him like a mirror.
Vil spoke without stuttering, he had a great confidence in himself, which was hard to obtain.
He responded, in the calmest and most loving way one can respond to a child.
-I am.
A smile, as big as ever, was placed on his little mouth.
- A-am I!? Am I the most beautiful of all...?
-Yes.
He was, but not because Neige received less love or attention in measure to the one he received, Vil was the most beautiful because he understood, that Neige was not more beautiful than him, if not that his beauty complemented him, that Neige's beauty was what he needed by his side, because he himself believed so, as much as his close friends and Neige, they took care to make Vil see that he was beautiful and that he did not need to surpass anyone, although, in fact, Vil was always beautiful by far.
The assurance he had about what he was saying, was thanks to his vanity lowering, Vil no longer cared about being the most beautiful as such, he didn't care at all about fighting for a title that was commonly given to his husband, it seemed low to him, besides, with the eyes and perspective he had now, honestly, Neige seemed the most beautiful thing that and he was proud and happy for others to recognize him.
- Really? I can't believe my work finally paid off so much! I'm so happy...! Everyone recognizes me as the most beautiful then...!
-That's not true.
The smile disappeared.
-I don't understand...
-I am the most beautiful of all without a doubt, but it's not because everyone thinks I'm the most beautiful, people's judgments don't always fit my desires and perspectives, each person has a way of seeing beauty and appreciating it and it must be respected. To know I am beautiful, to know how much time I invest in myself, in my care, because I love myself, to see myself in the mirror and be satisfied, that there are people who already consider me the most beautiful, to appreciate carefully those who truly do, that makes me the most beautiful of all.
He looked at him with severity, but with affection, it was a reprimand full of love.
-Besides, being the most beautiful is no longer something that interests me when I discovered that there are more important things than being beautiful, but it did answer your question. -He finished.
- Why did I change...? -He corrected. - Did you change your resolution?
- Haven't I already told you? A lot of things have changed in the meantime. It is not that beauty no longer means anything to me, it is that it no longer occupies the first place in my life.
As much as he tried to understand it, he could not, he was not allowed to, not without having lived so many things that were necessary for him to live.
-You don't have to understand, you will understand later. -He calmed him down.
-But... Let's see. -He forgot his rare feeling of confusion, leaving more questions than anything else. - I'll ask another question. Am I a hero now? Are you?
That question had many ways to be answered, and whichever way one took to give an answer, it was always affirmative.
-I am.
Again a smile appeared, not afraid to look "disappointed" as with the answer to his previous question.
- I don't have villain roles anymore, does that mean I'm all the way through...? -He pronounced excitedly, filled to the brim with happiness.
-Not always, sometimes I get roles where I'm the hero, others are more neutral and I'm not the protagonist, but always good in this kind of cases, they are still new to me, but I've had a very big and pleasant welcome. -He remembered the happiness of having participated in this kind of plays and movies, and even if it hurt him in the past to accept it, Vil knew he was a wonderful villain with great hits to be chosen as this, Vil gave that kind of perfect auras, Neige had more face to be the good guy because of his natural kindness and air, now he enjoyed seeing him acting as the good guy and was even a witness of his practices at home, he gave him advice even that he accepted affectionately.
He didn't expect him to still be a villain nearly as much as he was now, but he was completely happy to have moved on.
-Well, that's something, I don't want to be treated as a villain again in my life.
Vil smiled grandly and closed his eyes a little, in his childhood he wanted to have as many heroic leading roles as he could. Of course he hadn't mentioned the most important thing regarding that, and that was that after all, he was a real hero, for having saved the lives of so many people from the desire to destroy the world at the hands of a couple of brothers. But telling him that, would be a bigger thing to process yet, plus, he had to live it himself, no caveats.
-Which brings me to... Did I beat Neige? Are you better than Neige? -He felt pain just asking it, he needed in his mind, that the answer was yes, too bad -or pleasantly- it wasn't.
Ah, that question, of course he was waiting for that question, he was waiting for him to mention Neige, and this question, as incredible as it sounded, was more complex than the others, even than the second one, oh, in spite of that, he didn't hesitate for a moment to answer it, the answer was clear.
-No.
His world fell apart, his little world, full of hate, he couldn't believe that after ten years, Neige was "better" than him, what good was the world to him if he couldn't be better than the redhead? Whom he envied so much and would envy almost to death.
- Why...? Why haven't I beaten him? You say you're the most beautiful according to you, you have leading hero roles, not always, but you have them, where you can without a doubt overshadow Neige as much as you want, and you're not better than him? Still!? What must happen for me to be better than Neige!? -He uttered altered with moist eyes.-
Vil closed his eyes silently and sighed barely visibly.
He understood how closed he was since his childhood, he looked haughty and hostile, of course he understood his feeling, he was looking at himself, he understood that there were circumstances, valid for him to feel that way, but he also understood how obsessed he was with this subject, well, to that, an answer had to be given to his concerns.
-Listen to me, I know you think that because of Neige you can't shine what you want and think you deserve, but, Neige is not your enemy, he is not my enemy, Neige is... -He paused to find the right words for him and not to give him so much detail about his relationship with him in the future- A partner. Hating Neige doesn't make you better, seeing him badly and increasing your pride isn't the best, it's not fair for you or for him either, Neige puts a lot of effort in his life, he puts heart and soul in everything he does, just like you do, just like I do, you should appreciate him more.
Perplexed he opened his eyes, wiped his tears, the elder helped him with that, gently wiped his rivers.
-The way you talk about him... It seems as if you don't hate him anymore... This is so horrible, I can't imagine me being his friend, don't you hate him anymore...?
Vil had an immense urge to laugh, but he restrained himself from doing it as usual, in moments that merited more seriousness, instead, he let out a small laugh.
-Maybe.
He couldn't tell him the most important thing yet, the fact of imagining himself happily married to the person who caused him the most negative feelings during his whole life, was something that would surely make him vomit, maybe his head would explode or he would go into a delirium so big that not even magic would fix it, but, love beautifies all things, it made Vil happy.
-What I want you to understand is that, Neige is not someone who deserves to be hated by you, or by anyone, it's not about surpassing him or not, you don't need to be better than him, Vil, you are valuable, you are important, because you are you, you can never match Neige, and Neige can never match you, ever, you make your own efforts, you are capable of so many things, we both know it, you should be proud of you. -He looked up at him and put his hand on his shoulder again.
-No matter if there are people who prefer Neige. It's someone else's mistake to have made you feel stigmatized by giving you too many negative roles, but I'm talking about you, how should you feel about this? Do you really think Neige deserves your treatments because of factors so external and unrelated to the two of you? Focus on your relationship with him, look beyond a role. Look at his smile and accept his invitation to be close to him.
Vil hugged him, he hugged himself, something he needed to do, not for him, but for little Vil.
Who understands him better, is who comforts him, and no one better to understand him than himself, Vil is happy, for a long time, the other, full of doubts, but, he knew he was right, he was reasonable at that age, his misdirected hate....
Vil would have wanted someone to tell him so.
The little body sighed wearily.
-I can't understand a lot of things, I know you know that, and it's the most logical thing to do since you know a lot of things I don't... But are you happy? -He asked this time, he didn't ask himself if he was happy, he asked him.
Vil gave him a smile like never before.
-I am.
Simply, that was enough for him for sadness to leave him little by little, in that dark world, although long ago, it was clear.
He knew he would be happy, and that he would accomplish several things, everything was confusing, Vil didn't give him many details about his future either, but if he was happy, it was because he had found a way to be happy, he had no idea how he was going to stop having those feelings for Neige or how he would even become his friend, relate more to him... give up the desire to be the most beautiful one? It seemed crazy, he really didn't know anything.
They parted and the older man stood up.
-I must go, it's lonely here, get out of here, and don't come here anymore.
Still with a smile on his face, he took him by the hand and walked away from that place.
-Wait... -He said as he felt a piece of metal, meticulously ornamented and made, very similar to several wedding rings he had seen in the recording sets: on the thin and long finger that would belong to him later, he took a good look at it and opened his eyes like plates. - Are you...? I mean... I'm married!?
-Yes.
- So young? You look like you're in your twenties... How can I be married two years out of school? I had planned to be on my own at that age in my cosmetic store being the best version of me and working hard for it.....
-Most of us when we grow up are faced with unforeseen events, but believe me everything I have now, makes me feel completely happy.
The little boy didn't say anything anymore, he just looked at him curiously.
- Is he handsome?
Cute, It could say better.
-Of course he's very good looking, I always choose the best for myself. Although... I think it matters more what he looks like on the inside.
-Oh...
He blinked a couple of times.
- Would you describe him to me?
-I think it's better if it's a surprise, but I'll just say he's someone you least expect.
More doubts.
- Huh? -He made a perfectly confused face.
-I promise you'll figure it out, trust me.
So he did, as he thought before, from there there was absolute silence, in short, the conversation, although agitated and mysterious, like everything that had just happened, left a good feeling in his little chest, after feeling completely alone and without escape.
For the first time, he smiled seeing his fully happy self, from below.