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It was cold, so unbelievably cold, raindrops feeling like sharp icicles hitting his skin. Leaving a soft sting behind, it made him shiver as he stared off into the fields of nothing.
Everything hurt, yet he didn't have it inside him to move, kneeling in the wet dirt as his world crashed down around him. Blood dripped down his cold skin, eye squeezed shut a dull pain left beneath it.
He could almost see everything burning, mountains crumbling around him as he stayed kneeling in the mud, powerless. The cold ice running through his veins shouldn't be there, he was supposed to be burning, scorched until he was nothing.
Now his body was just as cold as his heart had become, a perfect depiction of what he had become.
He was cold and wet, the rain never seeming to ease up, relentlessly beating down upon him. A fitting punishment for him, he deserved it.
His eyes finally fell toward the glowing object in his hands, pulsating with the beat of his heart.
This wasn't happening, none of this had happened, it was all some bad dream and he was still resting in his bedroom. Everyone was alive and happy, nothing had gone wrong.
He'd been there sooner, helped father and Diluc...
was there anything he could have done? He supposes not, what was a person without a vision supposed to do? But now he had one, after spilling his guts to diluc, serving the most vulnerable parts of himself on a silver platter for his older brother. It had gone exactly as he'd expected, he was met with fire.
Cursed to burn away his sins, he'd thought that it would have been therapeutic for the older, if he died at the others hand he wouldn't be causing more pain. Only relief, after killing off the person who betrayed you, who betrayed the nation.
Angry tears welled up in his eye, as he squeezed it shut, gripping the object in his hand tighter. He let out a guttural scream, he yelled until it drowned out the pouring rain around him.
Anger bubbled underneath his skin. Staring at the retched object in his hand, his heartbeat steadily matching the glowing light blue, reinforcing he was still alive.
"I WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE!" He was supposed to have been burnt, burned into nothing, doused in flames until he was no longer able to breathe, smoke taking up every part of him.
He threw the vision and watched as it bounced off the ground, getting wedged into the mud. Its icy color taunted him as it continued to glow with life.
"Fuck! I-" tears swarmed his vision, bitter exhaustion overtaking his body. His limbs felt stiff in the cold, a heavy presence weighing on him.
His heart hurt, it was an overwhelming pain, freezing his insides with a painful ache. It made him desperately wish nothing ever happened in the first place, hell, that he was never even born
Never left in this retched place, never forced to betray both of his families. Merely left in the void of nothing, not even a mere thought of his existence gracing anyone's mind.
Could he just- no there's no saving this, no saving him. He betrayed them all, and he was just getting his punishment, to be cold and alone, and so unmistakenly hurt.
His feelings disgusted him, how dare he be sad, or angry, he's getting what he deserved, he's not the victim here.
Eventually, he would have to move, he couldn't remain in the rain forever, destined to catch a cold. Stay until he froze over in the winter, buried beneath the white blanket, a cold death embracing him, not to be found until the spring months. but alas he would have to leave, reality came crashing down upon him. It finally dawned on him...
He was homeless, he had nowhere to go. Was there anyone he could go to, that would listen to him and understand? anyone he could trust to not throw him out like his brother?
Everything hurt, he just-
He desperately needed it to be over, but things could never go his way could they..?
Always destined to fail, he guesses.
Fail everyone who believed in him, and trusted him.
he stood with heavy limbs, collecting the archon-forsaken vision he was bestowed with, the item that took away his opportunity to die, guiltless.
And he stumbled away, to find somewhere to clean up and look for new housing.
Things would never be okay, there was no light at the end of the tunnel right now, he was only surrounded by darkness. Hiding in the dark is something he's always been good at, why change now?
Bitterly accepting the fact, he was always living to die.
What else could he be destined for after all?