Work Text:
“This is Dr. H at 52 North 43.5 East. Seeking aerial response. Over.”
Harvey leaned back in his seat and lifted his finger from the button at the base of his microphone, disengaging the “talk” function.
“Anyone out there?” he murmured.
Only faint static answered.
“Okay… let’s try a new channel, then,” he said, trying not to be too discouraged. He rotated the knobs of his receiver at careful intervals. The static changed pitch and volume, but there was still nothing coming through—until he caught a flash of a feminine voice.
Harvey’s eyes widened. There weren’t too many women pilots in the Republic. A real shame, in his opinion, that piloting had been such a “boys’ club” for so long. He fiddled with the dials to hone in on her voice, filtering out the static.
“This is the Little Mustache Server Podcast,” the voice said, in an accent he’d never heard before.
Harvey pricked up his ears. Not a pilot, then. He didn’t know what a “podcast” was, but apparently it was about mustaches! How he was getting someone other than a pilot on these frequencies he wasn’t sure, but he listened with interest.
“It is nine P.M. Central Standard Time, and we’ve just finished reading a stunning fic about the good doctor. Anyone have another fic to nominate?”
“A what?” Harvey said to himself.
“Huh?” the woman said. “Who said that?”
There was a beat of silence.
“Hello?” she said. “I didn’t see whose circle lit up, who was that?”
Harvey felt a tingle creep up his neck. He glanced at his microphone, but the little red light was off. It shouldn’t have been able to pick up his voice. “M-me?” he said timidly.
“Yeah, hey! I’m Philly, who’s that? The server must be glitching, because I don’t see someone new who joined the VC.”
“I don’t see anyone either,” said another voice with a different, and equally unfamiliar, accent.
Harvey opened and closed his mouth a few times. He didn’t understand some of the woman’s terminology, and the rational part of his brain told him to write the words down to look up later. But if they could hear him… somehow…
“My name is H-Harv—I mean, Dr. H. That’s my call sign.”
“What, no it’s not, come on,” the first woman said with a full-bellied laugh.
Harvey’s cheeks flushed, and he was grateful no one could see him. “No, really. It’s been my call sign since med school.”
“Philly…” said a third voice with yet another accent, just as strange and charming as the first two. “That’s not… I mean, it can’t be! Can it?”
“Oh my god,” yet another voice responded.
“Are you… actually Harvey?” the woman called Philly said tentatively. “Like… do you live in Stardew Valley and rock a mustache and date a farmer?”
Harvey shot to his feet. He grabbed the microphone, which was still supposed to be off, clenching it in his fist. “How did you—? What’s going on, please? Who is this?”
“Wait, wait, what’s the farmer’s name?” someone piped up.
“Is that really important right now?”
“Yes!”
“Everyone calm down or I will get purple to mute you with their mod powers,” Philly said, but there was no anger in her voice. If anything, she sounded downright ecstatic. “Dr. Harvey, I don’t know how this happened, but you’re currently talking to some of your biggest fans.”
“I— what?” he cried. “How do I have fans?”
“Long story,” Philly said with a laugh. “Just know there’s a whole community of people out there who think you’re pretty wonderful. Can you just answer one question for us, and then we’ll leave you alone?”
Harvey ran his hand through his thick curls, knocking his headphones askew. He shrugged his shoulders hugely and then dropped his free arm to his side. “I suppose,” he sighed.
“Are you happy? You and your farmer?” Philly asked. “You don’t have to tell us anything about them if you don’t want. We just want to know if you’re happy.”
He stopped for a moment, perplexed. He expected something harder, something he might not be able to answer, like “how did you get on this line,” or “what’s going on with that microphone of yours.”
But this? This was the easiest question in the world.
“Yes,” he said gently. “Yes, we’re both very happy.”
“I’m so glad,” Philly said kindly. “Thank you, Dr. H. We’ll let you get back to your planes now.”
How did she know he was—
“Well, I don’t think any fic is going to top that,” she said, switching back to the lighthearted radio voice that she’d used when he first caught her frequency. “I need to go take a walk, and judging by the chat, you all do, too. So, um… yeah, this is the Little Mustache Server Podcast, signing off.”
A digital “bloop” sounded, and the line went dead. Harvey burst out laughing at the absurdity and pulled his headphones off his ears. He unplugged his microphone completely, just in case, and headed to his kitchen. After… whatever that was, he needed some coffee.