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“Y’know, if you’re waiting for me to leave, just say it.”
Kunikuzushi wasn’t a stupid man. He was many things, but never that. He also wasn’t privy to how humans and their misery can overtake them.
Dark teal hair, an eyepatch, dress shirt and tight pants. The man before him looked like a shaved cat. A very sad, pathetic shaved cat. He was laid on his back, head dangerously close to the edge of Starsnatch. Between his fingers a cecilia was pinched and spun.
“You seem to think I’ll do something rash, stranger.”
“That’s because I can smell the bad choices you made and see the hurt on your face.”
“Ouch.”
The human sighed, and tucked the little flower behind his ear, then glanced behind himself to overlook the vast Mond ocean, crystal blue. Kunikuzushi slipped to sit beside him.
“You’re not from here.” The stranger pointed out the obvious. He snorted, “What gave it away?”
“No Mondstatter I’ve met wears a yukata with such pristine care.”
“I’ve met one who can.”
“Well, color me surprised.”
The stranger’s eyebrows raised, then he just snorted. Then he just laid back down, staring up at the sky.
“Then what is a man like you doing in Mond?”
“Guess I just drifted here.” Kunikuzushi didn’t feel like giving anything away.
They sat like this for minutes, silently allowing each other just their presence. Kunikuzushi went to glance at the boy, and he noticed in the violet sky of his pupil, the star of sinners glimmered. Now that he thought on it, that same nose, that skin tone– it rang familiar to him as well.
He tipped his hat to stare up at the same sky as the other, then he spoke, “Your name– what is it?”
“I don’t see why that matters.”
Of course, that same attitude, the aloof dramatism of his words, the self-assured way he held himself, so falsely and yet so eloquently. Kunikuzushi remembered his leader, the Jester’s face came to mind.
“I think it does.”
He remembers, 20-something years ago, of a little boy who ran across the grand hall of the Tsaritsa’s abode. He was bright eyed, so joyful, a curious thing that the Fatui cherished like gold. No one knew who his mother was, or how even the Jester hid him so well, but they all had their secrets, didn’t they?
The boy’s name, Kunikuzushi remembers it so clearly– Kaeya.
The grass under his fingers crumpled in his grasp as he grit his teeth. He remembers that day when the boy disappeared, the palace was in a frenzy. Dottore clones of all ages asking where the “little clown” was, Columbina wondering why he hadn’t come visit her to sing for him, the Tsaritsa herself wailing for the child she oh-so adored. Kunikuzushi knew– the look on the Jester’s face told it all.
He wasn’t coming back.
He didn’t grieve for long. Wherever he was, he comforted himself that the child was peacefully dead, or living with a family who loved him. He hoped for that– he prayed to whatever higher being that would listen. The others weren’t as “heartless” as he was though.
November 30th, that boy’s birthday, was never a happy day in the palace. None of the Harbingers liked to admit that they cared. Not as much as the Tsaritsa did. Every time that date came around, Her Excellency would hole herself up in her chambers, grand doors frozen over, no one allowed to see her veiled form as her sobs reverberated through the palace– a warrior’s cry to mourn the innocent lost.
The icey mask of the Jester only grew colder after that. No one asked questions, and when their eleventh came into the picture, no one spoke of the beloved Kaeya. He was a ghost now, in their memories alone.
Kunikuzushi never forgot, and he doesn’t think he ever will. That face, so innocent and full of mischief, it didn’t deserve to be thrown away because of his father’s selfishness.
The child before him was still young, they always would be in his eyes, but he was alive, breathing, and broken just like him.
“It’s Kaeya,” he confirmed.
Kunikuzushi closed his eyes and took in a breath.
“I know.”
“Do you?” The waver in Kaeya’s voice was full of nothing but disbelief. Like one humors a child’s babbling. Red tinged Kunikuzushi’s face. He scoffed and tipped his hat down, “You couldn’t even pronounce my name when you were young, be quiet.”
“And what might that be?”
“Kunikuzushi.”
Blinking, Kaeya looked as if he was letting his drunk mind put puzzle pieces together. Then it just clicked.
“Kuni.”
There wasn’t any discernible emotion there, only that they were both here, right now, like old friends seeing each other again.
The memory of seeing this boy for the first time hit him. It was in the grand throne room, the Tsaritsa had called for all her Harbingers that day.
We have someone new joining us, be on your best behavior, all of you.
That day was boring otherwise. Dottore, the koot he was, was already conspiring with him on what the new member might be. Zandik, the youngest of his clones, held onto Kunikuzushi’s hand. Another clone, simply named 17 to correspond with his age, sauntered with them, holding some of Dottore’s supplies.
“Maybe he’s that Lakeside Butcher from Morpesok,” 17 commented, Zandik grimaced and held tight to Kunikuzushi, who patted his head. Dottore laughed, “You think they caught him?”
This “butcher” was nothing but an old wives tale, one to keep the lakeside village children away from drowning at night. Though people young and old believed it all the same.
Kunikuzushi sighed, “Don’t tell me you actually believe in that.”
An even louder cackle left Dottore, who waved his hands with grandeur, “Oh come on, humor us, will you, Kuniku? Oh, maybe it’s that runaway Qixing member, what was his name…”
“Zhensheng, I think,” 17 replied.
“Zhensheng! Ah yes, him! Or perhaps–”
“We’re here,” Kunikuzushi said.
They walked in the chamber, and Dottore was the first to join the group of Harbingers. Sandrone sat in her ruin companion’s arms, observing the others. Nearby Columbina and Arlecchino stood together, the shorter of the two holding her arm, close by, Capitano and Pantalone were speaking in hushed tones, the Regrader had their gloved finger pointing in the direction of the Tsaritsa’s throne, which was canopied for privacy when it wasn’t a grand event.
Kunikuzushi’s eyes trailed in the direction, and there he saw Pierro close by, Pulcinella seeming more eager than usual to talk. He stood in a group with Pierro and Signora, though he noticed the Jester was stiffened in the spine, arms crossed.
Zandik tugged at his hand, and he crouched down to see him better. Red eyes wide with urgency, he pointed into the direction of Dottore, who, hands clasped together in front of him, went up to the throne.
Of course, Zandik wanted to follow, but Pierro went to Dottore before Kunikuzushi could, speaking lowly to the Doctor. Dottore nodded, then turned his head to his small group, they followed wordlessly.
“Everyone’s here,” Pierro had said.
“Everyone?”
The room silenced itself when Her Excellency spoke from her throne. Her voice, as soft as it was at the moment, was still as powerful a presence as ever.
Dottore stepped back, right next to Kunikuzushi and Zandik. 17 peered over his pile of books to watch as Pierro and Signora pulled the throne veil away, revealing their Tsaritsa at her throne… with a baby curled in her arms, sleeping peacefully.
As if on cue, whispers began to erupt in the Harbingers, Dottore and 17 shared a glance, then passed it over to Kunikuzushi who in his mind had no idea what to feel. It was Arlecchino who spoke: “A baby?”
The Tsaritsa, her eyes veiled but mouth shown, still had an expression of unbridled joy, “His name is Kaeya.”
“Now, where did you get him?” Dottore inquired, and he went back to his spot beside the throne, leaning over to look at the child closer. With the canopy gone, the infant blinked open his eyes, and stared up at the Doctor. Giving a sharp toothed smile, he went to press a boop to his nose, but was stopped by Pierro grabbing and pulling him away.
“Don’t touch him.”
Dottore, in his usual way, gasped, “Oh but why?”
“That’s my son.”
Everyone’s heads mechanically turn towards the Jester, a mixture of emotions flurrying together in the air. Kunikuzushi gritted his teeth at the oncoming questions from the group. His own interests now were getting Zandik to bed and chastising Dottore later. He knew if he stayed any longer, no one in the little group was going to be happy at all.
But he stayed on the sidelines, watching everyone get their turn to meet their new little Harbinger. Columbina was especially fond of the child, with Arlecchino watching her lovingly while the Damsellete sang a lullaby for him. Pulcinella quickly went to speak with Pierro– he was known as the most parental out of any of them, and Kunikuzushi could only guess what kind of questions he had for the child’s father. Capitano seemed almost spooked by the newcomer, tentatively holding out his hand for the child to take, but nothing more, and Signora quickly went in to take his spot, immediately cooing her praises on how adorable a sight Kaeya was.
It was Dottore who motioned Kunikuzushi over. He agonized over it, up until Zandik pulled away from him and ran over to see. He had to follow at that point, it seemed.
When he came up, the Tsaritsa nodded to him as welcome.
“Balladeer.”
“Your Highness.”
Zandik stepped up on the throne, perching himself up on Her Highness’s knee with wonder in his ruby eyes, “That’s a baby?”
“Of course,” she responded, and held Kaeya out just a bit to show him, “Isn’t he precious, my dear? His father is so gracious to bring him to us.”
Pierro cleared his throat, and looked away, flush on his cheeks. Beside him, Pantalone smiled and nudged him gently.
Zandik spoke more, “Is he yours?”
“Ah, how I wish, but I didn’t birth him. But he’s my child all the same, just as you are, and everyone else in this room. All are my children, dear Zandik,” the gentleness of her voice was a far cry of her usual authoritarian tone. Once more she held the child close to her chest, a gentle, so motherly expression on her face. Something in him wondered if this too made her different from the other Archons.
Years would go by, the infant would grow into a little boy, one who Kunikuzushi saw all too often. But he will never forget the last night he saw him.
There was a time when he and Dottore were watching Kaeya and Zandik in the palace courtyards, giggling and pelting each other with snowballs in a haphazard frenzy. Kaeya had grown much taller than Zandik, now around 7 years old, and Zandik was still in his 4 year old state. Neither boy seemed to care, though.
“Careful!” Kunikuzushi called, ready to jolt up at the boys falling over a large pile of snow, but Dottore just chuckled and pulled him back down, patting his back as he soothed the other, “Oh don’t be so quick, the little ones aren’t choking and dying. Let them get a little scuffed up– see?” A blue gloved finger pointed at the taller boy laughing and catching the shorter as he was mid fall from the top of the snow pile.
“Right.”
Kunikuzushi slumped on his partner, letting his eyes get heavy-lidded as the soft noise of the children playing was nearby. His shoulders were squeezed by an arm wrapping tight around him. For now, it was peaceful, and with that, he was grateful.
He doesn’t know how long he dozed off, could have been minutes, it could have been an hour, but he awoke to Dottore patting his shoulder and standing up, with the sky around them dark and freckled with stars. Kunikuzushi blinked open his eyes to see the Doctor crouch down, arms outstretched for Zandik to run to, and Kaeya chased after him, begging for a few more minutes.
“Oh, I know, dear beloved children, but we must go, look, even Kuniku’s exhausted!” With a pat to Kaeya’s head, Dottore turned on his heel to the palace doors, and Kaeya ran towards Kunikuzushi to grab his hand.
“You okay, Kuni?” the boy asked, and the man nodded, standing up. When he got a better look at Kaeya, he noticed that unlike Zandik or Dottore, he wasn’t shivering in the cold, much like himself. The man shrugged, not even replying much to him before following the other two.
Their footsteps echoed down the palace hallways. Kunikuzushi heard the boy run to catch up with his rapid footsteps approaching.
“Kuni!” Kaeya called, and he grabbed at his hand, Kunikuzushi squeezing Kaeya’s hand in response.
“Yeah?”
Kaeya was watching the two before him round a corner, with only Dottore’s coattails in view. He asked, “Is Zandik okay?”
Kunikuzushi blinked in question at that, but Kaeya continued, “I always see him get taken into Dottore’s lab, he gets hooked up to these tubes, and he still looks so small. Is he okay?” A touch of fear edged in his tone, and his eyes shone with worry.
With honesty, Kunikuzushi shrugged, “Zandik’s got a special case going on there, if it scares you so much I can get Dottore to show you in the lab–”
“No!”
That, he expected. Dottore, to give him credit, was a charismatic, whimsy-filled genius who tried his best to spoil the young Alberich, taking care in the fact Kaeya was a favorite among his many clones. But, he was horrendous at being “normal” in every sense of the word. Kunikuzushi remembers a time when the Doctor showed a live autopsy of one of his subjects in front of the child, not realizing that it was a traumatic sight for him. Ever since, Kaeya avoids that sterile lab like the plague.
A laugh left the Balladeer, “You want to ask him some of the details then? I bet he’d like to babysit for a bit.”
It seemed like Kaeya mulled over that idea as they approached the wing the Jester and Regrader resided, rooms side by side, with Kaeya’s room opposite Pierro's.
Finally, he spoke, “Can you be there with me?”
Ruffling his hair, Kunikuzushi smiled, “Sure, kid.”
They both were met with Kaeya’s father coming out of his room, with Pantalone following him, them both speaking in whispers. Seeing the guests, the Regrader patted the Jester’s arm, mouthing something to their companion. The Jester nodded almost solemnly. As he did, they departed to their room.
“Scaramouche,” Pierro stated his name more like a confirmation, rather than a greeting. Excitedly, Kaeya rushed to his father and hugged his leg, and the Jester tightly held his son to him. In a warmer, softer tone, he spoke, “ … and Kaeya.”
Kunikuzushi didn’t think much of the Jester. He was a man who was rarely seen, showed nothing to his companions, and even his son barely saw him. But still, he saw the glimpses of something gentle in his starry eyes when he overlooked his son.
Still, something nagged at him. He noticed Pierro holding his son almost protectively at his side, like harm would come his way.
“Are you staying here this week,” the Balladeer asked, the Jester shook his head, “Only for the night.”
A whine left Kaeya, and Pierro shushed him, patting his back, “Hush.”
“So why are you even here? To give recon?”
The Jester shook his head, “I need to gather a few things.”
For what? Kunikuzushi would have asked, but his commander had an expectant look in his eyes that told his subordinate to keep his mouth shut. So, he did.
Sighing, the Balladeer waved goodnight to them both to head to the lab to do the same for Dottore and Zandik.
The next morning, the palace echoed the cries of the Tsaritsa in its icy walls.
Now he was brought back to the present, and Kunikuzushi saw the dead star in the boy's eye light up just a little.
“You grew up,” the wanderer said, and poked Kaeya in the chest, “Anything happened while you were gone?”
“So much,” he replied in a breathy whisper, laughing a bit, “You can tell, can’t you?”
“You lost an eye, you’re a knight…” Kunikuzushi trailed off when he looked down at Kaeya’s hip, and there, glittering, was a vision– one embedded with cryo.
“Oh.”
Irony. That was what the Tsaritsa embodied. It was ironic she shunned her fellow archons, it was ironic she turned on her people, and it was ironic that she would protect this child, giving a sinner an eye of Celestia.
Kaeya looked down at it, and shrugged, “I’ve had it for 10 years.”
“Doesn’t matter. You still have it.”
“And why exactly does that matter?”
That tone, snide and cutting, just like his own. Kunikuzushi snorted, “You realize that the Tsaritsa gave you that, right?”
There was a pause, then Kaeya took the flower from his ear and began to pluck the petals from it, “Did she?”
Kunikuzushi shrugged, “Considering how you were her favorite, yeah, I think it is.”
Kaeya stiffened at that, “Her favorite?”
“She loved you like a mother loves someone. She never forgot you.” He couldn’t help but feel envious of that.
The stem became Kaeya’s next victim, “So she didn’t know about me leaving?”
Kunikuzushi shook his head, “No one did. She still grieves for you. We all thought you died.”
Soon, the flower’s carcass was set aside, and Kaeya turned his head to the wanderer, grinning as if he was told a joke, “Well, I’m alive and well, aren’t I?”
“Barely.”
“Ouch.”
“Like I said, I can smell the alcohol on you. What happened?”
Sighing, Kaeya sat up and rested his cheek on his hand, “Would you believe me if I said it was an ailment of romance?”
Kunikuzushi rolled his eyes, “Okay, sure, I believe you, what’s wrong? You got dumped?”
“I wish, it would probably be a better excuse than what it actually is.”
“Which is…?” With a circling of his hand, Kunikuzushi urged him on.
Kaeya rested back on his hands, staring up at the moon, “There’s an alchemist I work with. They’re the most darling thing you see, smarter than anyone I’ve met and they’re so easy to get along with–”
“Get on with it.”
“Alright, jeez, well, have you ever felt guilty for loving someone so perfect?”
“Nope.”
Kaeya pressed his lips together, “Have you ever loved someone so much, it hurt?”
Kunikuzushi hesitated on his words. The first person to come to mind was his own mother, the second being Dottore. Both he kicked himself in the leg for giving a damn about. As his shoulders drooped, he nodded, “You remember Dottore?”
“Which one?”
“Prime. The leader of them.”
Kaeya grimaced, “How could I not?”
“Him, and someone else.”
“Who exactly?”
“My mother, Raiden Ei.”
Now Kunkuzushi was the one assaulting vegetation, with him peeling apart blades of grass.
“It’s stupid really, the freak got on my nerves.”
“It’s Dottore, I’m not surprised,” Kaeya said plainly. Though he shared a look with the wanderer with a knowing smirk. Cheeky bastard.
“Whatever. At least he didn’t abandon me like my mother.”
Kaeya chuckled, “Oh, you too?”
Plucking and peeling apart a blade of grass once more, Kunikuzushi frowned as he remembered who exactly Kaeya was referring to– the Jester.
“You’re hilarious.”
The wanderer tossed the blade over the cliff, “Parents don’t do shit for us, do they?”
“It must be ingrained in them.”
Standing up, Kunikuzushi groaned, and Kaeya followed in tandem. The ravenette noticed that Kaeya towered over him. He glowered and tipped his hat down.
“I’d offer you a drink, really,” Kaeya said as he rested an elbow on his elder’s head, “But surely a celebrity such as yourself wouldn’t want to be noticed.”
“I don’t do alcohol anyways,” Kunikuzushi said and swatted him away, “You need rest anyways.”
“Oh? Do I now?” With an almost offended tone, Kaeya put his hand to his chest, “I didn’t know I was 7 again and had a bedtime.”
Crossing his arms, Kunikuzushi shrugged, “I’m only saying it because you’ve already stressed yourself out at the bar already. You need to sleep it off. Plus don’t you have an alchemist you need to see?”
That shut the knight up. Kaeya looked away, and started following Kunikuzushi like he was a child again, right down the hill. On his way, he grabbed another cecilia, twirling it like he did with the one before.
They spoke briefly down their walk. Kunikuzushi gave little information to Kaeya, and in turn the boy gave little back to him, but they didn’t seem to care.
They stopped at the colosseum, with Kaeya turning his head towards a distant Mondstadt city, “I guess I should be getting home.”
“This is goodbye, then?”
Outstretching his hand for a handshake, Kunikuzushi was instead attacked with a hug, one so tight he wouldn’t be able to breathe if he had lungs. After a moment, he squeezed back, patting his back.
They parted, and now close up, Kunikuzushi saw that same little boy, scared to leave his friend.
“Say hi to Zandik for me?”
He nodded. He doesn’t know if he can keep that promise.
With a nod of thanks, Kaeya ran his fingers through his own bangs.
“Thank you, Kuni.”
“You don’t need to.”
“I know. But friends thank each other, don’t they?”
“ …guess so.”
It was a silent ending to their meeting. Kunikuzushi watched as his friend strutted away down the path to the city.
It didn’t hit him, until now, that new tears pricked his eyes. Touching the wetness on his cheek, he wondered if he’d ever see him again.