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Don't Tell My Crush

Summary:

Castiel knows Dean has a crush on him. Castiel isn't sure of his own feelings towards Dean. What happens when Dean gets drunk at a bar and doesn't realize who Castiel is, leaving Castiel to really think about how much he likes/loves Dean Winchester. Can he love his best friend? One shot where Dean gets drunk and Castiel somewhat takes care of him, mainly because he's thinking over his own feelings.

Notes:

So, I don't see many fics about Castiel realizing his own love for Dean. I know it's kind of out of character but it's really cute and kind of sad to think of it that way. I tried to make it funny and not too angsty. But hey, in high school you sometimes have to figure out if you really do like somebody as more than a best friend. Ok, in truth, I just needed Castiel to realize his own feelings and Dean drunkenly confessing his love. Sorry for any mistakes, enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Castiel ran to the door as Dean pounded on it. "CAS! CASTIEL! CASSIE!" Castiel opened the door and threw Dean a look as Dean laughed at him. "Hey, buddy. So, Crowley got me the IDs." Castiel rolled his eyes at his best friend. Pretty much his only friend besides Jo and Ash in their English class.

"I thought you were joking when you said we should go to a bar." Dean shook his head.

"Of course I was serious. Hey, so.. um.." Castiel watched as Dean blushed and fidgeted. "You know about. uh, that guy right?" Dean looked into Cas' eyes with nervousness.

"Yes, I know about your gay crush." Dean smiled and the tension left his shoulders, which made Castiel smile that he could do that. Yeah, he knew Dean had a gay crush and Dean knew that. He also knew Dean had a crush on him, which Dean didn't know. 

Dean also didn't know that Castiel had been pondering over it for months since Jo had told him. She only told him because Castiel had given him a hard time about not telling his best friend who it was. Jo had snapped at him, and he started going easy on Dean. Neither had told him that Castiel knew, Cas had asked Jo not to tell him that he knew. He didn't want Dean's dreams getting dashed by Castiel. Especially if Cas thought he might like Dean back. Castiel scoffed at himself. Dean was his best friend, he liked the bond they shared. He didn't want to break or ruin it. Plus what if they broke up? That would ruin it even more.

"Yeah, well he's going to be there." Dean looked at his shoes. "And I really wanted to impress him tonight."

"Even though you know you have no chance with him?" Castiel frowned. He hated talking to Dean about his crush. It wasn't his fault Castiel didn't feel the same way towards his best friend. Well, he thought he didn't feel the same way. Castiel rolled his eyes inwardly at himself and pushed the thought to the back of his head. Cas watched as Dean slumped his shoulders and nodded.

"Well, I mean he's gay. So it's not like there is absolutely no chance. There's just no chance he'd like me. Which isn't surprising really since he's my-" Dean stopped. He shook his head and looked at Castiel. He straightened his shoulders. "So you coming or not?" Castiel smiled and nodded.

"Of course, moral support right?" Castiel's heart fluttered as Dean's smile brightened.

"Yeah, moral support."

********

They'd been friends since freshman year. Best friends really. How could Castiel ruin that? He shook his head again to clear his head of all thoughts of Dean. He couldn't like Dean like that. Dean was his best friend. There was no way he could like Dean like that. Sure he was gay, Dean was bi, but that was just a matter of sexuality not how much Castiel liked Dean and loved to make him smile. He shook his head again and turned his attention to Dean who was currently chugging down his third beer.

The place wasn't that busy when they had gotten there, but it had gotten really crowded after half an hour of being there. Castiel had one beer, but decided to lay off since he would probably be driving Dean home. He doubted it, since they brought Dean's car Baby. Dean's prized treasure. Castiel certainly didn't push back feelings of jealousy about a car. Castiel didn't even have feelings towards Dean anyways, Dean was just his best friend. Castiel put the thoughts to the back of his mind. He really wanted to drink, mostly to put his mind at rest about his noncrush.

He hadn't even thought about this stuff anyways. Only twice in his life, tonight and the day Dean said he was bisexual. So why was he so worried about them? He finally, successfully pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind when Dean had them go and start talking to people.

Castiel followed Dean around as Dean talked to people with his new found bravery and charisma. Not that Dean hadn't been charasmatic before with his bright smile and styled hair. They had been there for three hours and was starting to get a little irritated that they hadn't left yet. Castiel hadn't wanted to come in the first place, and Dean was getting drunk off his ass. He watched as Dean grabbed his tenth -twelfth, twentieth? Did shots count as drinks?- drink that night.

He walked up behind Dean and tapped him on the shoulder. Dean turned around to face him. "Heeey Cas! Glad you could finally join us! Care for a drink!" Dean held out his own glass to Castiel. Cas shook his head.

"No, I just needed to go to the bathroom. I came to tell you that and after we should head home."

"What? But this place is awesome! You should try these!" He held out a shot that looked purple.

"What is that?" Castiel asked in disgust.

"They call it a purple nurple. These things are awesome!" Castiel watched as Dean downed the brightly colored drink.

"Look, I'm just gonna head to the bathroom and then we'll head home, okay?"

"Sure whatever. You know it's a shame you can't enjoy a little alcohol." Dean gave him a sad look before smiling and turning back to the group who had shown him the weird drinks. Castiel rolled his eyes in annoyance and turned around to find the bathroom.

*******

"Dean, we have to go home." Castie grabbed Dean's shoulder tightly, but didn't drag Dean away from the group. Castiel had just come back after twenty minutes of trying to find the bathroom. He could smell the alcohol coming off of Dean and crinkled his nose.

"Why?" Dean slurred. He turned to look at Castiel. He closed his eyes and slowly opened them, Castiel sighed. He breath was terrible and he had to have had even more to drink while Castiel was gone.

"Because you're drunk." He said simply, starting to pull Dean away from the group at the bar.

"Yeah, but...." Dean hiccuped before he continued, "I wanted to impress my crush." Dean started leaning on Castiel, stumbling as Castiel lead him to the exit.

"Trust me, your crush isn't impressed." Castiel huffed as Dean draped himself over Castiel's shoulder.

"You know my crush?" Castiel's cheeks heated up. He didn't know why. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "Don't tell Castiel." Dean put a finger to his lips. Castiel felt his face heat up again and his heart pounded in his chest. He pushed the feelings back.

Cas almost dropped Dean right there. He knew Dean liked him, but.. he wasn't sure how far it went. Dean was looking around the bar. "Wonder where he went? He said he was going to the bathroom, but he isn't back yet." He started standing straight up to look over the crowd of people. He stumbled, and Castie grumbled as he caught Dean again. Dean turned back to Castiel, looking at him drunkenly.

"Really, don't. I like him..those pretty blue sparkly eyes." Dean looked away like he was in a dream. Castiel smiled. The feelings came back, and Castiel tried to push them away again. Dean turned back to look at Castiel. He furrowed his brows. "Just like yours." He continued looking at Castiel with a confused look. He looked up slightly and stared at Castiel's hair. "You have his black hair too. Always has his hair mussed up, sexed up, which is hot." Dean waved his hand indicated Castiel's hair. His voice had gone up when he said 'hot' and Castiel blushed. Castiel tried to drag Dean out of the bar, ignoring the tightness in his chest from being so close to him. "You're tall." Dean commented.

"Yeah? Not as tall as you." Castiel commented like it was something Dean always said. He was pushing it away, ignoring it, making it seem like it was normal. Dean had draped himself over Castiel's arms. His plan wasn't working, so he tried to get Dean to stand up. Cas prodded and nudged Dean, Dean only turned so he was laying down in Cas's arms and walking sideways. Cas rolled his eyes, wishing Dean would cooperate.

"You're taller than me." He said looking up at Castiel. 

"Maybe it's because you're slouching." Castiel said sarcastically. He couldn't help the tiny twitch his lips did. Dean was an adorable drunk. He shook his head and put the thought to the back of his head.

"It's funny, you look a lot like him." Dean told Cas as he dragged his hand up and down Castiel's arms. "I always wondered what his muscles felt like. You seem so much like him. Wonder if he feels as strong as you. Bet you could throw me across the room." Castiel finally dragged Dean outside into the cool night air. "Bet you could push me against a door, maybe a wall. Bet you would use the muscles to fuck me senseless." Castiel looked down at Dean in shock and horror. Dean didn't notice as he had leaned up to whisper in Cas's ear. "I bet you could make me scream as you pound me into the bed. You know you'd like that." Dean tried to make his voice sound sultry, but it only came out drunk to Castiel. Which was funny, and adorable at the same time. Castiel pushed the thought to the back of his mind. He should be shocked at Dean's declarations.

"Would you like that?" Castiel asked as he pushed Dean away from his face. Dean stubbornly stayed close to his face. He looked Cas up and down for a minute. Castiel just wanted the night to be over. He didn't know if he liked Dean like that. He knew he was being harsh, but Dean didn't think it was him anyways.

"Well... You look a lot like Castiel. Who are you, his long lost twin brother?" Dean gave a drunken grin before he started to stand up. Castiel helped him as Dean took drunken steps to his car. He couldn't help but feel relieved. Relieved that he wasn't so close to Dean anymore, and that Dean was finally cooperating.

"Dean, you can't drive. You are severely drunk." Dean rolled his eyes and took the keys from his pocket.

"Mmm fine. Been talking fine to you this whole time." Dean stuttered. Castiel rolled his eyes in annoyance. Then he grabbed the keys from Dean. "Hey! Those are my keys, stranger who looks like my crush!" Dean blinked. "Do you know Castiel?" Castiel felt his heart rate speed up. Why did he care if Dean recognized him? Well he had been pretty harsh towards his best friend. He just didn't like the feelings he got around Dean.

"Yes. I do."

"Don't tell him I like him ok?" Castiel let out a huff of breath as he smiled at Dean. "Seriously, because I like him... a lot. He's got these pretty plush pink lips." Dean stares at Cas' face and then glances down at his lips. "Just like yours." Dean looked at Cas. "You got his nose too." Dean reached his hand out, and Castiel wanted to smack his hand away. He didn't, but he felt his heart flutter at his gentle touch. He stood like a stone statue as Dean ran his hand around his face. Dragging his fingers slowly across his features as he pointed out everything he liked about Cas. Castiel's cheeks reddened.

Castiel didn't really know what to do. He liked Dean, but he never thought he liked Dean like that. Now he was letting Dean drunkenly tell him everything Dean loved about him. He didn't even try to stop Dean, just continued to let Dean compliment him. Castiel liked the attention. He tried to shake the thoughts, but they kept coming back. Finally Castiel grabbed Dean's hand away from his face and stared at him hard, getting annoyed about all the mixed up thoughts. Shoving those thoughts that  to the back of his mind, with the rest of the ignored thoughts he thought that night, he dropped Dean's hand.

"Why can't you tell him?"

"Whoa same icy stare." Dean's eyes widened in surprise and joy. "I can't 'cause I know he doesn't like me like that. He's my best friend. I told him I was bisexual, I wanted him to know I liked guys and it'd be okay for him to like me." Dean confessed. "I guess it was more to ask if it was okay to like him, because he didn't do anything about it." Dean looked down shyly and Castiel frowned as Dean looked back up with his best puppy eyes. "You would like me right?" Castiel stepped back like he'd been tasered. Dean groaned. "Oh I'm stupid. Of course you wouldn't, you probably aren't even gay like he is. I know he is, cause he told me."

"Yeah, I know." He knew it was true, but Dean was his best friend. He didn't.. He couldn't...

"Yeah. You know.. I've liked him since the day we met freshman year. It was only a silly crush. Now.. Now we're juniors and I'm in love with him." Castiel raised his eyebrows and his breath caught in his throat. "Yeah, we're not old enough to drink, but we look the part." Dean flashed his teeth at Castiel, who forced himself to keep from grinning back. "I thought he liked me too, but I guess he doesn't." Dean pushed himself off the impala. "Guess we'd better leave." He put a hand on the car to help stabilize himself as him walked around the car to the passenger's side.

Castiel stood still for a minute. Dean was going to let him drive his car. Dean was letting him drive Baby. Dean was letting Castiel drive him home. Dean was in love with him. Dean was waiting for Castiel to like him back. All of it came crashing at him at once.

He got in the car. He stared at the steering wheel in awe. He started the car and pulled out. He started to mull over the thoughts and the revelations of that night. He thought about all the times they had hung out. All the times it was just the two of them spending time together. How Dean looked at him.

He loved how Dean would full body laugh when Castiel said something funny. He loved that it was Castiel who made Dean laugh. That Castiel could make him laugh like that and no one else. He loved how Dean styled his hair, and how for the first month after he met Dean, Castiel tried to copy it. He found Dean funny, nice, smart, sweet, and overall a great person. He ran through a few more memories of Dean, walking home with him from school on occasion. He remembered his jealousy when Dean asked Lisa to their first freshman dance. The more Castiel thought about his time with Dean, the more he remembered feeling jealous. The more he remembered falling for his smiles as well as his smirks. The more he remembered how much he hated seeing Dean upset. The more he realized how much he wanted to punch Alistair in the face for breaking Dean's heart. 

He didn't notice as Dean fell asleep against the window. Too busy wrapped up in his own thoughts, trying to figure out if he liked Dean back, realizing he didn't just like Dean but he was in love with Dean as well. He almost had a heart attack. How could he not realize he had been falling for his best friend? He'd been pushing his own feelings away so he wouldn't ruin that relationship. But for what Dean like him back! True, they could break up, but they have a strong enough relationship for them to go back to being best friends right?

 He had gotten to Dean's house and looked over at Dean, just then realizing Dean was asleep. He smiled seeing how adorable Dean looked while sleeping.

He sighed as he unbuckled and the small sound woke Dean from sleep.... "Sammy?!"...scared Dean from sleep. Castiel watched as Dean twisted and turned to find any signs of danger. He smiled as Dean relaxed when he realized there was no danger, and  no younger brother to protect from the danger that didn't exist. He always admired how Dean had given up his own childhood to give his little brother one. He smiled broad again, which caught Dean's attention.

Dean looked over at Castiel and smiled. Castiel froze, tensing up. He didn't want Dean to realize it was him. "You know, you look pretty sober for a drunk. You sound pretty sober for that too, Dean." Castiel cringed when he said Dean's name. He had said that in an attempt to distract Dean from realizing who he was. He really hoped Dean didn't recognize him. Who knows what would happen if Dean realized he'd been talking about his crush on Castiel to his crush Castiel?

Dean continued to smile. "Thanks stranger. Helps when you diludte half of the drinks and turn down most of them, and eat stuff, and try to stay at least somewhat coherent for your crush. Anyways, I normally don't let people drive my car. But you stole my keys and if I drove drunk I'd probably ruin her. So thanks." He patted Castiel on the shoulder and leaned over to Castiel. Cas held his breath. He leaned back, hoping Dean still didn't recognize him. "Remember, don't tell Castiel I like him." Castiel smiled and nodded. Dean raised his hand and patted Castiel on the cheek. He watched as Dean got out of the car. He seemed to sober up as he walked into his house.

That night Castiel walked home, thinking over everything that happened. Everything that night was strange. Dean let him drive his car. Dean confessed he was in love with him. In the car, he realized he liked Dean back, that he was in love with Dean, right back. He wanted to run back to Dean's house and knock on his door. 'Dean! I like you.' He'd say.

He smiled at the thought, Dean would probably still be slightly drunk, not realizing what Castiel was saying. 'Don't tell him though. Don't tell my crush.' Dean would probably smile that bright smile. Then walk back inside and pass out on the couch as Castiel stood at the door smiling like an idiot.

He wondered how long he liked Dean. He just wanted to know how much of an idiot he had been to not realize it sooner. Dean stopped dating other chicks, not because he didn't want to date, but because he didn't want to date them. Dean stopped dating other people because he wanted to date Castiel. Castiel's heart beat faster. Dean was in love with him, and Castiel was in love right back.

Monday was gonna be a bitch.

**********

Castiel waited outside the classroom door for Dean as he usually did. He didn't lean his back on the lockers like he usually did, only his shoulders. He laughed inwardly at himself for buying Dean flowers, Dean would probably think of his as a romantic sap. He couldn't help it. He was never in love before. Well, he never acknowledged that he was in love to actually want to take risks showing that love. But here he was, taking the risk of giving Dean flowers for him.

He was so nervous for Dean to show up. Even if Dean called him a sap, Castiel knew Dean wouldn't care. Dean was in love with him and he knew it. So why was he so nervous?

"Hey, Castiel. Who's the lucky guy?" Castiel's heart stopped as he turned around to face Dean. He was met with Dean's smirk. Castiel looked up into Dean's eyes to see pride and to Castiel's surprise, jealousy.

He held the flowers out to Dean. "You, actually." He smiled at Dean, who was shocked. Dean fixed his gaze on Cas and looked at him skeptically.

"This is a joke right? You don't like me. Sure you like guys, but not me. Cas, we've been best friends forever. Why would you think-"

"Because you got severely drunk on Saturday night and confessed your love to me." Castiel said bluntly. He was angered, yes. Only because Dean had shot him down so quick, and he hated that Dean didn't think he could be loved. Dean looked sad and embarrassed.

"That was you?" Castiel nodded, slightly surprised Dean remembered that night. Dean looked down and scratched the back of his neck with his hand. He shook his head and stood up as straight as he could with his bow legs. "Yeah, but Cas. You don't like me back. I've known that since I told you I was bi."

"So? Maybe I have and I just didn't realize it! Maybe I was so stuck on the fact that we were best friends and I didn't want to ruin it that whatever thoughts or feelings came my way about you I pushed to the back of my head so I wouldn't ruin what we have!" Castiel's eyes widen and he clamped his hand over his mouth. Dean was looking at him with his eyes wide and eyebrows raised, and on top of that, his jaw dropped open. Castiel sighed. "I didn't think you telling me you were bi was that kind of invitation either. Even if I did, I was too busy being happy because you trusted me so much to tell me." He looked down then back up at Dean. He held out the flowers to Dean again.

"So we have both confessed. Now.. um..would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?" Dean smiled and took the flowers.

"You are such a sap." He said as he threw his arm around Cas and lead him into the classroom.

"I knew you'd say that." Castiel replied back. Dean smiled wide. They heard a cheer from the back of the room and turned to look as Ash had stood up and started clapping. Jo was busy laughing and whistling to the new couple as they made their way to their seats in the back. The rest of the class smiled and a few kids gave them thumbs up. Castiel smiled and looked at Dean who looked like he had won the lottery.

Dean looked down at Castiel. If it was possible his smile got wider and he leaned forward to kiss Cas' lips. Castiel kissed back of course.

"Hey, Dean?" Dean smiled at him.

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell Dean. I like him. You also shouldn't tell him I have a boyfriend, he might get jealous." Cas smiled an over exaggerated smile and stumbled for extra effect. Dean groaned and shoved him lightly.

"Shut up." Castiel smiled as he and Dean took their seats next to each other. He felt complete with Dean as his boyfriend. He never felt so happy. He'd fallen in love with Dean, and only realized it a few days ago, but he had never been so happy in his life. He didn't think life could get any better than this.

Notes:

Did you like it? Hate it? Need improvements? Again sorry for any errors, and possibly inconsistencies.