Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

EXT: Fair City Elementary Playground

“Ah another beautiful day in Fair City,” announced the narrator. “A perfect day for recess where children can learn lessons like sharing and taking turns.

“THE BEST,” Victoria laughed manically as Eugene makes her score 36 next to Emma with 0.

“Unless your Victoria Best,” the narrator sighed.

“I know I’m the best but at this point loosing this bad is just embarrassing isn’t,” Victoria mocked.

“So, who wants to loose next,” she asked twirling two basketballs on both fingers. All the kids scattered the court moving to different areas of the playground.
“Oh th- that’s fine,” she stammered. “THE BEST doesn’t need losers to play with because I’m already the best all on my own,” she declared to no one regaining her confidence. She shot a couple of perfect throws and nailed every trick shot she could think of.

“Suddenly the sound of arguing caught her attention,” the narrator announced.

“It did,” she questioned the disembodied voice.

“Yes, you’re loneliness is boring the readers,” the narrator explained. The bickering was coming from two troublemakers headed her way. Eileen pushed Tobey from behind and despite his best efforts to push her back he remained skidding on his heels as they continued to quarrel.

“No”

“Come on”

“I don’t want to”

“I don’t care”

“I hate you”

“(Gasp) and on my birthday”

“And everyday thereafter”

“It’ll still be my birthday,” she sing songed.

Tobey groaned as they stopped in front of Victoria. “Hi Vicky Wicky,” Eileen greeted. The freckle faced girl gave her a big toothy grin that showed off her missing tooth.

“I told you it’s Victoria,” she blushed at the embarrassing nickname. “Victoria Best I’m the best at everything and don’t you forget it,” she declared.

Eileen squealed, “See Tobey Wobey I told you she would be perfect.” Tobey scoffed as if he had smelled something rotten.

“Perfect happens to be one of the things I’m the best at. What is it,” Victoria asked.

“Nothing,”Tobey responded, “You wouldn’t be interested in-“

“THE YOUNG VILLAINS GAMES,” Eileen yelled.

“The what?”

“The Young Villain’s Games is a tournament held just outside of Fair City where young villains from every city in the region compete against each other for fame and glory,” Tobey explained.

“And a big fancy trophy that will be mine, mine, Mine,” Eileen explained.

“Ahem,” Tobey coughed gesturing to Eileen that she was now a foot taller and starting to turn green.

“I mean ours,” she sheepishly shrunk back down. “ We need a team of three,” Eileen told her holding up four fingers.

“Well obviously you came to me because I’m the brightest and the BE-“ “Becky said No,” Tobey cut off.

“You asked Beckface before me,” she scolded.

“Actually we’ve asked a lot of people before you,” Tobey said smugly.

“Oh no I’m sensing some flashbacks,” The narrator groaned.

4 years ago: “Good job Eugene you almost dodged that fire ball,” Eileen comforted the crying eight year old.

3 years ago: “Excuse me could I ask you a couple questions for the Daily Rag, the reporter asked a surly looking villain. “SCOOPS,” Tobey yelled. “What?”

2 years ago: “Prepare to be framed by The Framer,” Violet yelled holding up a frame and shutting her eyes. All the villains crossed the finish line, “Did I get them,” Violet asked. Tobey and Eileen face palmed.

Last year: “Could you answer some investigative questions for me,” Rose asked. “AGAIN,” Tobey yelled.

“So basically we are out of options and time given that there are only two more hours till summer vacation,” Tobey explained.

“Well as tempting as joining a team that’s done nothing but loose for years is I’ll have to check my schedule. Being the best takes up a lot of time you know.” Victoria gloated.

Tobey scoffed as Eileen grinned again “Great let us know by next week the tournament starts the first weekend of June.Here’s our card.”

The card read: Tobey and The Birthday Girl Kid Villains written on top of a picture of a robot holding a birthday cake. The back read: Destroying the city or at the ice cream parlor.

As she was about to question the card the bell rang for 6th graders (well not for much longer) to return to class.

“Just two more hours,” Tobey repeatedly muttered to himself over and over again walking towards school.

“Bye Vicky Wicky,” Eileen waved running away.

“It’s….. Oh never mind,” Victoria sighed following behind them.

____________________________________________

“Later at The Best’s Mansion,” the narrator began, “The dinner table is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.”

“Sorry,” the butler said picking up a pin.

Mr. Best snapped his fingers and the butler was escorted out another being replaced at his post.

“So was everyone the best today,” Mrs. Best asked

“Oh absolutely honey,” Mr. Best began. “I named myself the employee of the month for the 16th month in a row,” he boasted holding up a gold plaque.

“I set the all time home run record in little league history,” the youngest child Victor Best gloated.

“Very good son,” Mrs. Best beamed, “And you Victoria?”

Victoria was picking and staring intensely at her salmon.

“VICTORIA,” her mother repeated.

“Huh,” she startled sitting up.

“It’s very not the best of you to ignore your family dear,” her mother scolded.

“Sorry mother I was just thinking,” she said.

“A dangerous past time,” the narrator retorted.

“I know,” she responded annoyed. “I was just thinking about I’m going to be the best student at my recorder lesson tomorrow.”

“Wonderful daughter,” her father chimed in.

The rest of dinner passed by as any normal family dinner would, her mother fired a maid for clearing the dishes improperly, her brother played them a concerto on the piano, and her father patted their heads and sent them off to bed.

Victoria laid in bed staring at the card her classmate had given her. ‘On one hand it’s a chance to prove I’m the best and I do love being the best. On the other hand it’s Tobey and Eileen and their certainly not the best. Though they actually have a ranking amongst the villains and I’m still stuck as a plain ol mischief maker. Maybe this tournament would be a way to network. Father used that word a lot when taking about acquiring other businesses. Still it doesn’t feel good to be their last resort. Tobey certainly didn’t want me he’d rather have Becky Worstford. Maybe if he had a conversation with her instead of sneaking glances at her during class he’d realize she’s not all that. Sure she’s studious and kind and I guess from certain angles she’s pretty. But it’s not like she’s the only pretty girl at school. I mean Rose has that flowing hair. Violet has a very pleasant voice. And Eileen when the sun hits her freckles just right.’

Her thoughts came to a screeching halt as her face grew increasingly warm, “What was I talking about,” she questioned.

“You weren’t you were thinking,” the narrator retorted.

Victoria scrunched up her face to form a sour expression, “Don’t you have better things to do,” she questioned.

“Humph, as a matter of fact I do,” the narrator scoffed. “Goodnight Victoria Best.”

“Goodnight ominous voice hovering above me,” she exclaimed.

She sighed shoving the card underneath her mattress so no one would find it. She stared back up at her ceiling and after awhile felt like she had a solid plan. “If Tobey and Eileen are attacking the city tomorrow during my lesson I’ll join their team if not then they’ll just have to find someone else,” she reasoned. “I am the best at reasoning,”she sighed before drifting off to sleep.

“Little did she know across town her secure plan was being overheard,” the narrator transitioned.

“This could be trouble Huggy.”

“SCREECH”

Chapter Text

“Alrighty Victoria from the beginning,” Ms.Bastocky instructed. “Remember you must get it right three times in a row to truly say it’s perfect.”

The notes of The Star Spangled Banner danced from her fingertips and filled the room with a harmonious melody. There were many things in Victoria Best’s life that were the best ,but if she had to pick one it would be her recorder. It was the first thing she saw when her eye bandages were taken off. At 5 years old it was hard for her to understand why she needed to have surgery on her eyes. Of course she now knew that her eyes needed to be the best just like her parents. But all those years ago the only thing she thought was the best was the long plane ride out of the country to get the procedure done.

“One more time and we’ll be ready to wrap up,” her instructor told her.

After the surgery her recorder became a comfort for her. When her days were less than the best she could play a tune on her recorder and forget her troubles. While she was able to leave others in a trance like state sometimes it felt like she was putting herself in one.

“Beautiful as always Victoria,” Ms.Bastocky said removing her earmuffs that had come with the recorder. “I think that’ll be all for today unless you had any questions.”

Ms. Bastocky had been her recorder instructor since she moved to Fair City. Unlike most of her very expensive private lesson teachers Ms.Bastocky was not at all strict. She pushed her students to succeed not by scaring them but by encouraging them. She felt like a person you could talk through your problems with and they help you get through it. What would you call that?

“Could I ask you a hypothetical question,” she asked.

“I get paid by the hour so be sure to take your time with it,” her teacher joked.

“Ok uh let’s say that you got asked to play in an orchestra. It’s a really great opportunity for you to grow as a musician ,but you know the people asking you aren’t asking because of your ability but as just a body for the orchestra. What would you do?”

”Well that would stink, but I know my worth as an artist I don’t need to prove myself to anyone,” she explained. “However if this is something that could change the course of my career well then I’d just have to decide if it’s worth swallowing my pride for. Does that help?”

Victoria let her teachers words sink in, “Yeah I think so.”

“Good same time time next week then?”

“Yes,Thank You.”

The city was very quiet, people were all out and about starting off the summer with ice cream cones and sodas. It brought a smile to her face seeing everyone so happy.

“Ahem,” a voice overhead cleared his throat.” “If I may, SUDDENLY…”

*CLANK*,*BOOM*,CRASH!!*

Chaos erupted in the streets panicked people fled in terror as the sound of maniacal laughter echoed through the city.Victoria backed up against the music building to avoid being crushed by giant robots.

The screaming turned to cheers when people started to point out yellow flashes in the sky. It zipped and zoomed slowing down pieces of debris.

“And accompanied by some pretty sweet action music,” the narrator explained.

“Isn’t that obvious,” our hero asked.

“Maybe to us, but our audience is having to read and I want to give them the full effect,” the narrator said.

“Aww that’s so nice, almost as nice as these robots are going to look in the recycling center,” Wordgirl punctuated with a punch. Robots were being dented left and right though most robots took more than one punch to dent. As much as she hated to admit it Tobey’s robots were really impressive. He’d really grown in his building skills and ever since he started hanging out with Eileen were a little more creative. Ever since they were kids Tobey could always be found sketching robots on blueprints. Though that was still the case he seemed a lot happier. He was still generally rude to pretty much everyone but, I guess having one friend makes you a little bit nicer. Sometimes when she catches Tobey doodling a design or reading an engineering book and smiling to himself he almost looks kinda cu-. KIND! That’s what she was going to say kind.

“Getting an early start this morning aren’t we Tobey,” Wordgirl taunted.

“My My Wordgirl if it’s possible you look even more beautiful than ever before,” he swooned.

“Save it for your self insert fan fiction McCalister,”she teased.

“Oh Wordgirl, charming as you are you’ve always been quite the party crasher,” he laughed.

“Whoah” she yelled unable to move from the clutches of the other half of this dynamic villainous duo.

“Hi Wordy guess what today is,” The Birthday Girl’s voice boomed across the city.

“By how today’s going I’d say national bother a superhero day,” the heroine dryly remarked.

“No silly it’s MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!”

Wordgirl was spun like she was on a cheap fair ride as The Birthday Girl twirled haphazardly. Unfortunately her giddiness caused her to lose her grip sending the hero flying into the center of the new billboard for “Bullseye’s Dartboard Emporium.” With her helmet stuck in the center of a painted target our hero sighed, “It’s gonna be one of those days.”

“Those usually make for our best episodes,” the Narrator explains.

“At least one of us is having fun,” Wordgirl snarked.

“Alright kids let’s wrap this up I’m way behind on my summer reading. I’ve only read thirty……..Whoah.
Wordgirl’s eyes became heavy and her thoughts slowed as a harmonious melody could be heard. “Oh crap,” she cursed internally.

__________________________________________

The last thing Eileen remembered was getting ready to see how far she could throw a superhero. Now she was in an alleyway face to face with Victoria Best. She couldn’t remember shrinking back down either but she guessed it had to do with that pretty music she heard before everything went fuzzy. Tobey was there too albeit in far less comfortable position laying down in a dirty alley and groaning like he was about to throw up. The wheels in Eileen’s head started turning as she registered what happened.

“VICKY,” she cheered as she ran to embrace the girl. The latter you would assume had never received physical affection in their life. Her arms were in the the most defensive position as if she was allergic to hugs. “You saved us,” she yelled.

“AAAHH,” Victoria screeched! “Call her off, Call her off!” Victoria tried prying the girl off but Eileen proved stronger tightening herself like a boa constrictor. Miraculously she was able to breathe again thanks to her one loyal friend……… or primate.

“Big Monkey,” Eileen exclaimed giggling. The ape grunted rolling his eyes “General Smooches there you are where have you been, wandering around the city again,” she questioned her pet.

“Yes and definitely not because the author forgot he existed till just now,” The Narrator announced.

General Smooches placed Eileen down next to Tobey as the boy struggled to stand. “What do you want Victoria,” Tobey asked glaring.

“Excuse me,” she replied offensively “I just saved you butts,” Tobey hurled. “Though apparently not your lunch,” she retorted.

“But we haven’t had lunch yet,” Eileen replied matter of factly. Her eyes grew big “oooo IDEA,” she grabbed their wrists and ran out of the alley. _____________________________________________ “Meanwhile, Wordgirl searches the city for the villains she just fought.” The narrator announced. “You know this would be a lot easier if you just tell me where they went and why Victoria saved them,” she grumbled. “Sorry that’s out of my jurisdiction and pay,” The Narrator explained. Wordgirl rolled her eyes “This Young Villain’s Games are always such a pain they always put one of their classmates in danger and I have to save them. Arguably this is more concerning Victoria Best is more or less a legitimate villain. It’s enough of a hassle having Tobey and Birthday Girl working together adding Victoria could only spell disaster. I wish Huggy was here to help but I can’t ask him to come if I know Birthday Girl is involved not since- Oh there they are!” Wordgirl watched the three of them go into the ice cream parlor “Hmm time to call in reinforcements,” she announced holding up her phone. _____________________________________________

“These are on me,” Eileen proudly proclaimed skipping to the counter. “Hiiiii Roger guess what today is,” she yelled the employee stood there looking the like the shell of what once was a living breathing human being. He groaned, “Your Birthday?” “No IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! “That’s what I- Never mind, the usual?” “Yep and whatever the lady needs,” she pointed back to Victoria.

Victoria sat at a booth with Tobey admiring the sheer amount of power she had over shopkeepers reminds her of her mom in high end department stores. “I got this one,” she declared. The sound of her recorder echoed through the shop as three ice creams floated through the air. The giant cat banana split for Eileen, vanilla ice cream topped with toffee for Tobey. And a precisely perfect Neapolitan ice cream for Victoria.

“Just outside of the ice cream parlor Becky looks totally normal with her face smushed up against the glass,” the narrator said sarcastically.

Becky glared back peeling her face from the window, “ha ha laugh all you want but they’re already causing trouble together.”

“Becky,” Violet ran behind her and gave he a giant hug. “I haven’t seen you in so long,” she cried.

“Violet you spent the night at my house, You told my parents I went to a breakfast and books club at the library.” “Yeah but that was like two hours ago,” Violet sniffled.

“Hey Becky, Hi Violet,”Scoops and Rose rounded the corner greeting them. Is undercover mission code for let’s get ice cream, cause I love it,” Scoops asked.

“What are we dealing with here Becks? The Supernatural? Insider Corruption? Are they making new ice cream flavors with oat milk?” Rose questioned getting closer and closer to Becky’s face. “Oh hey they are,” Scoops said pointing to a sign saying now serving oat milk ice cream. “I knew it,” Rose declared narrowing her eyes and scribbling in her notebook.

“Just everyone follow me and be cool,” Becky announced trying to reign them all in.

“Becky I think you might be overreacting, Violet addressed her as they walked in, “Just because they’re villains doesn’t mean they going to be meanies right away.

“Hey Shortie how’s the weather down there,” Victoria Best mocked. It took Becky’s entire friend group to pull her back as she lunged for the boasting girl. “Enjoy your ice cream we’ll just be over here,” Rose laughed awkwardly as they sat at the booth behind them.

“Bye Fweinds,” Eileen waved. Toby cleared his throat “As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted by pesky Becky Botsford,” The girls exchanged a knowing glance. “Joining our team is only the beginning of preparations for the young villain’s games. “I am already the best so I think I can handle your little preparations,” she beamed.

“It’s not that simple Best,” Tobey explained, “there’s training.”

“And T-shirts,”Eileen cut in.

“Registration,” Tobey attempted to get back on track.

“And T-shirts,” Eileen repeated.

“Don’t even get me started on sponsors, Tobey concluded. “Sponsors,” she questioned.

“Yeah we need at least 5 villains to sponsor us during the games sitting in the stands and cheering us on,” Eileen cheered optimistically

Tobey chimed in pessimistically “Which becomes increasingly difficult considering we’ve lost so many times and each sponsor has pledge to 200 dollars.”

“You say that like it’s a lot of money,” Victoria commented bluntly.

Tobey sighed, “I’m going to ignore that for my own sanity.”

“So where do we start,” Victoria asked.

“ONE CHEESECAKE TO GO ROGER,” Eileen yelled crawling out of the booth and tumbling onto the floor. _____________________________________________

“Later at the abandoned warehouse,” The Narrator opened.

A doorbell rings

“Charlie get the door I smell Cheese.”