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The Raptor Scene from Jurassic Park III, a Crackfic with no Redeeming Value

Summary:

AU August 2022 Prompt 4: Dinosaurs

This will probably be the dumbest thing you will ever read.

Notes:

Seriously, prepare to lose braincells

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

And then the raptor turned to him and said "Eren!"

Dude! Sweet! A talking Raptor! Eren thought, and then he woke up

It's a dream and the talking raptor isn't real? Eren is disappointed.

---

And then the raptor turned to him and said "Levi!"

Levi woke up with a start.

And this is why he hates movies.

---

And then the raptor turned to then and said "Hange!"

A talking raptor! I must capture it and study it.

Hange woke up and realizes that it was a dream, oh well.

---

And then the raptor turned to her and said "Mikasa!"

Okay what? Mikasa woke up and it was just a dream.

Why the weird dream? she wondered.

---

And then the raptor turned to him and said "Armin!"

Seeing how it makes no sense for a raptor to talk and be on an airplane, there is no way this is real life and is therefore must be a dream.

Armin woke up, and it was indeed a dream.

---

And then the raptor turned to him and said "Erwin!"

Fascinating, Erwin thought, upon waking up.

---

And then the raptor turned to her and said "Sasha!"

Oh! A dinosaur! How cool! Sasha thought, I wonder what it tastes like.

Then she woke up. "I feel like having some chicken" Sasha said to no one in particular.

---

And then the raptor turned to him and said "Jean!"

Dude! Sweet! A talking Raptor! Jean thought, and then he woke up

It's a dream and the talking raptor isn't real? Jean is disappointed.

Notes:

If you are reading this, I'm sorry.

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