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Tricks, Cushions and Thunderstorms
Morse’s playful mood continues into the next day, especially when Fred lets him accompany him to work again. He takes great joy in finding out that he can untie Jakes’s shoelaces without the sergeant noticing and shuffling off to hide behind Strange and wait for the inevitable trip.
“What the…oof! You little swine!”
‘Hehehe. Vengeance is fun.’
He manages to pull the same trick no less than 5 times before he gets sleepy, shuffling to Fred’s office door and scratching to be let in.
“OI! Don’t think you’re getting away with it! I thought I told you to watch him Strange?”
‘Yes I do think I’m going to get away with it and I don’t need babysitting.’
“He’s only having a laugh. Not like you’ve never teased him is it?”
‘Precisely.’
“Teased! I didn’t leg him up 5 times in a row!”
‘Three years teasing, 5 trips. I’d say we’re square.’
“What’s all this? Oh, hello Morse. Jakes? Strange?”
Both officers snap to attention as Fred appears in the doorway of his office, summoned by Morse’s scratching just in time to save him from whatever Jakes was about to come up with.
‘Hello. I was hoping for a nap.’
“Not much Sir. Just Morse feeling a bit mischievous. No harm done.”
‘Thank you, Jim.’
Fred frowns slightly at the little hog peering up at him innocently.
‘What?’
“I see.”
‘See what?’
“Well then. Back to work. In you come Morse.”
“Yes Sir.”
“Yes Sir.”
‘Why are you frowning at me?’
Shuffling quietly into Fred’s office and waiting for the door to close behind him, Morse snuffles up at him curiously.
“Don’t play the innocent. I’ll stop bringing you if you can’t behave.”
‘Hmpf. I’ll behave if he behaves. Nap?’
Eventually persuading Fred to give in to his pleading eyes, Morse ends up curled in a ball with only his face visible, balanced perfectly on a cushion on the desk, dozing away quite happily when Fred announces his imminent departure for a meeting with Mr Bright and some political bigwigs upstairs.
‘Ok.’
"I'll be an hour or so. Jakes and Strange will keep an eye."
‘Ok.’
Morse gives his own nose a lick and keeps on napping.
"Right then."
Thirty minutes later and Morse is still happy napping, oblivious to the fact that Jakes and Strange have been standing by the desk watching him for a while until muffled voices start to break through his sleepy cloud…
"Quite cute as a hedgehog isn't he?"
‘Hmm?’
"Cute?"
‘Who’s cute? Also, shhh.’
"Yeah. He's all fluffy and... I dunno... cute."
‘Oh, me. Still…shush. Sleeping.’
"You wouldn't be calling him cute if it'd been you tripping over your own laces all morning."
‘You’re the one that kept not checking your laces.’
"I would've started checking my laces before I stood up. At least after the second time, definitely after the third."
‘See.’
"I didn't think he was so easily amused!"
‘Neither did I but here we are. Why are you two even in here? Can’t you see I’m napping?’
"Here, watch this."
‘Watch what? What are you up to? Is that…is that a worm? Gimme!’
Morse finally opens his eyes and follows his nose, instinctively unballing to reach for his treat, unbalancing himself in the process and rolling off his cushion with a surprised grunt.
‘Ooof. Oh no! It took me ages to balance on there and that was with Fred helping. Where’s my worm!?’
Morse glances towards a laughing Jakes and smiling Jim with a growing feeling of betrayal.
‘Jakes I’d expect but you, Jim? How could you?’
"Christ, it's like having a puppy.”
‘You take that back! And give me my worm!’
“Here have it... Ow! He nipped me!"
‘Serves you right! You know I never thought worms of any kind could be this delicious.’
"Well, you did kind of ask for it. At least it was a nip and not a bite. I heard he did quite a number on his stepmother's ankle, needed medical treatment."
‘Really? Nobody told me that. Ha!’
"I don't care, it hurt!"
‘Tough.’
Morse finishes his treat with a self-satisfied sniff before trying and failing to regain his position on the cushion.
‘1…2…3…up! Dang. How about if I try pulling…nope. Corner? No. How did Fred get me on there!? Oh, it’s useless! I don’t even care anymore! Bad cushion!’
After four attempts he loses patience and shoves the cushion off the desk with a growl before looking at Strange with a plaintive expression.
‘Now what do I do?’
"Sorry matey, didn't mean to unsettle you. Well, I didn't anyway."
"Oi!"
‘Hmpf. Wait…can you feel that? Feels like…pressure? What is that!?’
Jim gives Jakes a look. Jakes frowns but stays quiet and inspects his nipped finger, much to Morse’s satisfaction. Turning his attention back to Morse, Jim tries to think how to cheer him up when a sudden clap of thunder startles them all and sends Morse straight into a prickly ball.
‘Yikes! Hearing thunder is one thing but feeling it!? I don’t like it. It feels strange. Where’s Fred?’
Fred ends up being gone for hours although Morse appreciates Jim’s efforts to keep him occupied during the storm by letting him help with his case, even if it is rather frustrating when the thunder sends him into a ball every two minutes. By the time the Inspector reappears Morse has almost given up on trying to communicate the obvious between rumbles.
‘You’re back! An hour, you said. Where were you?’
"Not keen on the thunder sir. He has been helping with that runaway though. Keeps indicating the brother but I've not guessed the right reason why yet."
‘It’s obvious! Look at that photo you keep dismissing as a normal family photo for more than two seconds and you’ll see it. Look at the way he’s looking at her and how fake the parent's smiles are. That is not a happy family and I bet you he was done pretending. Fred, come look.’
Fred moves closer with his eyebrows raised.
"Oh? Maybe we should go have a chat with him. We haven't actually interrogated anyone officially yet have we?"
‘Not according to this disaster of a file. Jim needs a lesson on filing things chronologically. There was even half a biscuit in here, but I dealt with that.’
Strange looks out of the window with a reluctant expression while Morse chatters away in hog speak.
"In this?"
‘You should try being me right now.’
"It's only rain Constable. Besides, a girl’s life could depend on it."
‘And thunder. And lightning. You chaps have fun. You realise there’s no way she’s alive, yes?’
"Right. Course. What about Morse?"
‘Put me back on my cushion.’
"Jakes can keep an eye on him. Where is Jakes?"
‘Wait, Jakes? How’s that a good idea?’
"Gone to find a plaster."
Fred gives Jim a questioning look and gets a glance at Morse in response. He has to fight not to smile when Morse realises and quickly adopts his innocent puppy expression. Typical. They're like a pair of schoolboys.
‘It was absolutely not my fault. He should have let the sleeping hog lie.’
"I'll leave a note on his desk then. Pack what you need, we leave in 5."
Fred marches off to get his hat and write a note for his Morse sitter.
‘Just like that? No cushion? I’ve gone invisible again haven’t I?’
Jim puts a bag on the desk next to Morse and fills it with the necessary items in a valiant attempt to protect them from the rain before going in search of his coat.
‘See! That photo there! Let me get it. Why is there so much useless stuff in here? Not that one. Not that one. Just need to…there! Got you. OH! What’s happening!?’
Taken completely off guard for the second time that day, Morse finds himself tumbling to the bottom of the bag and being buried under Jim’s mass of disorganised papers.
"Got everything?"
‘Oh, dear. Hedgehog in the bag! Hedgehog in the bag! How do you not feel the weight difference? I’m not that small.’
"Yes sir."
‘No Sir! Got too much!’
"Good. Morse?... Morse? Where's he got to?"
‘I’m right here! Look harder! Should I squeak? But…but what if she is alive? Then every second counts to find her.’
"Probably hiding under something. He doesn't usually mind thunder, does he? Right, let's go. Morse!? Behave with Jakes! We shouldn't be long."
‘I’ll be alright if I stay in the bag. What can happen in a police car? Better off there than being alone with Jakes for one of us to get in trouble. Why do I have such a bad feeling?’
Not too far in the future Morse will look back on this moment and wish he'd taken just a moment to squeak...