Chapter Text
As insane as it sounded, Kim Minjeong was living in a GL world.
A very ridiculous one, at that.
Grief had five stages, and Minjeong had experienced them all, multiple times over the course of a year, before she came to terms with this… this next level of madness.
Considering how glaringly obvious the signs were, Minjeong should have seen it coming. Except she had already been caught up in the assumption that her life was normal that once she sensed something unusual, instead of analyzing the situation with logical thinking, she would attribute it to her imagination.
The truth was that Minjeong had picked up the abnormality three years ago.
It was a week after she had received her acceptance letter from the university. Every day, she would pull an all-nighter for Netflix and then sleep all the way until noon. Her room was down the hall on the second floor; she rarely went anywhere except coming downstairs to heat up the food her mother had prepared for them.
One afternoon, however, Minjeong’s sister – Kim Jisoo – and her friends from high school visited their house for a reunion, bringing along boxes of chicken to eat together. Minjeong was invited to join them, the only one dressed in ugly pajamas and old bunny slippers, while the rest were in formal clothing. As though reminiscing the good old times, they had gathered in a circle on the floor, bare hands reaching for a piece of chicken as Jisoo lamented, “That’s got to be the most chaotic event I’ve ever been to. Im Nayeon – damn, I understand where she’s coming from. But I feel sorry for the groom.”
“Tell me about it,” Jennie Kim shook her head, licking her gochujang-coated fingers. “I heard he passed out shortly after we left.”
Minjeong was not one to reject juicy gossip, even when she had no idea who the subjects were. “What happened? Is it related to the wedding you attended earlier?”
“It’s canceled!” Lalisa Manoban exclaimed, eyes wide with shock. Her Korean was flawless when she spilled the piping hot tea, “They were seconds away from exchanging wedding vows when this girl barged into the church and the bride ran away with her!”
The more Minjeong listened, the more dumbfounded she was. Huh, what in the K-drama logic did she just hear? Unfortunately, it didn’t end there, because there was a more or less unrealistic backstory that Jennie added, and Minjeong swore she had it memorized like the back of her hand: “That was Mina, Nayeon’s girlfriend. Four years ago, she got into a car accident and had been in a coma ever since. Seungyoun said the groom apparently offered to pay off all of Mina’s hospital debt as long as Nayeon married him. Who could’ve guessed Mina would wake up from her four-year coma and show up at their wedding?”
Jisoo nodded slightly. “That explains why Nayeon burst into tears when she saw Mina.”
Minjeong remembered her mind going blank, trying and failing to ingest this illogical set of information, before bursting into a fit of laughter, cackling so hard that she choked on a small piece of chicken. Minjeong still had tears in her eyes when she realized she had been the only one laughing in the room. “That can’t be real. There’s no way that’d happen in real life,” Minjeong snorted, because – come on, any sane person would think it sounded like a stupid twist straight out of your local soap opera. Did they seriously expect her to believe that? Then she might as well join the flat-earther community.
Minjeong became genuinely confused when everyone shot her a judging stare. “…What? Was I wrong?”
The three elders had ended up reprimanding Minjeong for her “lack of sympathy”, and despite wanting to stand her ground, she had gone silent all throughout, stupefied by their reactions.
From then on, Minjeong came to realize there was indeed something wrong with – not even exaggerating about this – the world she was living in. It appeared that the worst had yet to come, and when it did, it would arrive in the form of a forbidden love story that she had thought only existed in smut manhwas.
Kim Yerim was Minjeong’s first cousin from Father Kim’s side. She was born to a wealthy Korean-Chinese businessman and Father Kim’s younger sister. The chic and outgoing Yerim had been the only relative Minjeong was closest to since childhood; the sort of playmate she would stick with during awkward family meetings. They were of the same age, and happened to be similar in terms of personality and hobbies. The only downside of their unbreakable sisterhood, however, was the fact that they lived about a 2-hour flight apart: Yerim in Shanghai and Minjeong in Seoul.
Hence, Minjeong was delighted when she heard that Yerim was coming to Seoul to study, along with her cousin from Busan: Park Sooyoung.
Despite attending different schools, the trio became inseparable from hanging out every day. Minjeong practically lived rent-free in Yerim and Sooyoung’s shared apartment, and due to her frequent visits, Yerim even gave her a spare key to visit at any time. To Jimin’s relief, except for their constant bickering, nothing abnormal had occurred. They were truly living the ordinary life of university students.
Until one fateful day.
Exhausted from another student council meeting, Minjeong had planned to nap on Yerim’s couch when she accidentally stumbled upon an inappropriate scene.
Yerim was sitting on Sooyoung’s lap, and they were making out.
Oh, no. Not the cursed incest plot.
Yerim and Sooyoung were supposed to be normal, damn it.
The two relatives separated when they noticed Minjeong’s arrival. To her horror, Sooyoung had risen to shield Yerim possessively, uttering corny words that caused imaginary ants to crawl all over Minjeong: “You don’t understand. I’ve waited ten years. I can’t give up on her just because we’re cousins. Nobody – not even you – can decide who I’m going to love. Yerim is mine. I don’t want to lose her,” she paused to exhale a shaky breath, her voice cracking pathetically, “No – never again.”
Instead of cringing like a sane person, Yerim failed to discern abnormality in their situation and raised a hand to wipe the taller girl’s tears. “Oh, Sooyoung…”
Like a scene plagiarized from a K-drama, Sooyoung grabbed Yerim by the wrist to pull her close before crashing their lips violently.
Right in front of Minjeong’s salad.
For fuck’s sake – why. There was never a day when she wasn’t questioning this GL-driven world’s rationality. Was making out in her face really that necessary? It hardly proved anything – if justifying their undying love had been the original aim – except making Minjeong blench. They could have told her to get lost, and Minjeong would gladly take her leave. She would opt for jumping off a building than watch live-action incest porn, particularly with her dearest cousin – whom she had grown up closely with – in it. Moreover, although Minjeong might have been dismayed by their deviance from her approved normality, she, for one, knew it wasn’t her place to condemn their incestuous relationship.
Seeing that the two would commit adultery in her presence, Minjeong fled the apartment.
Surely these ridiculous events could only occur in the GL world, but at that time, she had remained in denial to retain her sanity (or so she thought). Still, as much as Minjeong wished to drive her car straight to the ocean, she had sensibly abandoned the suicide plan in order to conduct an investigation. Her goal was to ascertain the number of targets who had participated in GL plots.
Minjeong never thought gathering evidence would be a piece of cake.
Ning Yizhou, a friend Minjeong had made from frequenting the national library, was born an orphan. She belonged to the supreme category of miserable protagonists who suffered from heavy bullying and working part-time jobs since thirteen. One day, it was revealed on television that she was the long-lost daughter of a famous businessman in Beijing. Yizhou had gone from rags to riches in one night, but before she could bask in an heiress’ life, the girl was suddenly betrothed to the young and attractive president of a multibillion-dollar company: Giselle Uchinaga (how the fuck was this possible at twenty?). Another unsurprising development that Minjeong heard from Kim Gaeul (a close friend she happened to also meet at the library) was that Giselle was rumored to be the heir apparent to the most influential criminal organization in Japan. How the ordinary Gaeul remained safe from being kidnapped or murdered after sharing such a mind-blowing secret became a mystery to Minjeong.
(It probably had something to do with Naoi Rei, the suspicious Japanese girl Gaeul had introduced to her some time ago. Hm.)
Minjeong's own sister, Kim Jisoo, fell victim to GL plots as well, though with a slightly more realistic twist. When Minjeong caught her sneaking out to meet Park Chaeyoung, she realized they were living out the enemies-to-lovers trope. Their rivalry in college had once been legendary, and Minjeong remembered Jisoo’s inexplicable animosity toward Chaeyoung. According to Jennie, Chaeyoung had harbored feelings for Jisoo since their college orientation days, but since Jisoo saw her as competition (especially in terms of academic achievement), Chaeyoung had somehow thought that pestering and annoying Jisoo was a good idea – again, stupid GL logic. Surely, being stuck in the rival zone for six years should have proven it to be a flawed strategy. If this were a longfic, it would probably be a slow burn where Chaeyoung took sixty chapters to man up and confess, only to face rejection thrice before eventually winning Jisoo over.
Could people get any more dramatic?
Minjeong was not the least bit intrigued to find out, but the GL deities did their absolute best to make Minjeong encounter more weirdness everywhere she went.
It was then she knew that GL plots were already fucking up lives, simultaneously and ubiquitously. Minjeong could be getting coffee at a nearby café, totally minding her own business, when she would witness cliché scenes happening all at once. Girl A was drinking her iced chocolate and Girl B suddenly leaned in to lick the cream from her lips. Girl C nearly slipped on a banana peel that seemed to materalize out of thin air, and Girl D caught her waist before she fell so they could gaze at each other for what felt like an eternity. Remarkably, except Minjeong, nobody else in the room found any of that ridiculous.
On the one hand, being homophobic was the norm. On the other hand, nobody seemed to notice this was a GL world.
Such strange contradictions had been mind-boggling at first until Minjeong realized – yikes, it was all for the success of GL plots.
Internalized homophobia. Homophobic environment. These were key attributes that would contribute to creating classic GL conflicts.
The pattern was becoming obvious when Minjeong looked into it further.
First off, this world was dominated by women – lesbians, to be precise. When Minjeong made the point of mentally keeping count of them, she realized the girls here were blessed with a jaw-dropping type of beauty. There was a diversity in their visuals that differed them from one another, but they were nonetheless otherworldly. The professors looked like they stepped out of an SK-II billboard. The gorgeous barista at the Starbucks two blocks away from Yerim’s apartment should get hired to be an actress. The tteokbokki seller at their cafeteria had a face that would earn her a place in an SM girl group had she auditioned. The road sweeper whom Minjeong ran into some time ago could pass for a Victoria's Secret model. Even the “less” ethereal lesbians – which was an understatement, really – had Minjeong thinking they came out of bishoujo anime.
Whoever had zero contribution to the GL world would appear so ordinary that they became background characters, with similar faces and forgotten names.
Straight men, on the other hand, were generally villainized for the sake of GL plots. That, or they would exist solely to function as certain roles, such as the dads (how the hell would mankind reproduce, then? ABO didn’t exist here!), the ex-boyfriends (who either belonged to the trash or “good bro” category), the homies, et cetera, et cetera. They had to be exceptionally handsome and would 98% turn gay even if they were supposed to be homophobic.
It was basically impossible to be good-looking without being involved in GL plots.
Now, frankly speaking, Minjeong considered herself decent-looking. She wasn’t conceited to think of herself as breath-taking as the lesbians here. But the fact that she had a distinctive face among these NPCs got to mean something, right? She wasn’t a background character, which could only imply that the GL deities must already have something in mind for her.
Which was what Minjeong had been dreading about from the start.
Look, she wasn’t homophobic, but she wasn’t straight, either. Minjeong was just unconcerned with things related to romance and love affairs. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure how to identify herself since she was probably too young and inexperienced to decide whether or not she was aromantic or asexual – or both. She had just never once experienced a romantic or sexual attraction toward anyone.
However, one thing was for sure: Minjeong would never allow the GL deities to mess with her. The joke was on them, for she was officially rebelling.
If Minjeong was going to fall in love, it would have to happen naturally and, most importantly, realistically.
Minjeong didn’t plan to come to the battlefield unprepared. She single-handedly invented the ultimate weapon to survive in the GL world. It was an entire binder that included every GL plot she had gathered from numerous sources. Real-life experiences, novels, movies, TV shows – she even thought of a few on her own just in case things took an unpredictable turn.
Minjeong did whatever she could to protect herself. She tried to lie low, albeit not becoming antisocial because she refused to come across as That (Anime) Girl who aggressively hated every breathing creature (humans, specifically) near her. Even though she enjoyed socializing, she was careful not to over-socialize, carefully blending in the crowd like the bland extra character she was aiming to be.
Due to the threats of cliché GL plots, Minjeong would watch her step around every corner, ensuring that her shoelaces were tied properly and no objects on the ground could make her slip. Being cautious of her surroundings was important since she didn’t want to fall into a stranger's arms and have a 10-minute eye contact (in slow motion, cue the Goblin soundtrack) with them. She also brought her own damn umbrella – or better, a raincoat – to prevent a stranger from suddenly appearing in the rain to share theirs with her. Minjeong never drank alone, either, for fear she might wake up naked in a stranger's house.
Lastly, Minjeong made it a point to talk with her parents daily, even when they were often away for business trips. It would be disastrous if she were to be sold to the mafia due to financial issues, even though the mafia boss would likely turn out to be a beauty.
Minjeong had taken every precaution to stay out of “trouble.”
But clearly, the GL deities had other plans for her.
❃❃❃
Their act of “terrorism” began three weeks ago.
The GL deities were finally coming for Minjeong. Her peaceful life was at stake, it seemed.
In the past 21 years, never once did somebody show romantic interest in Minjeong. She was this invisible person whom nobody admired in that way: a good friend, sure, but no further than that. She had seen people around her dating and changing partners, while she had stayed single throughout her life. But now, all of a sudden, these drop-dead gorgeous girls would pop out of nowhere to pursue her romantically. Every day, the number of cliché scenes Minjeong could partake in was jarring, and there was nothing in this world that could be a coincidence.
Revenge was the only logical explanation she could take from this.
The GL deities were warning Minjeong for her disobedience.
Lately, it became a common occurrence for Minjeong to come across a “potential girlfriend” anywhere she was. Minjeong could be walking to the cafeteria when Attractive Girl #708 accidentally spilled coffee onto her shirt and gaped once she looked up at Minjeong – a.k.a the love-at-first-sight trope. Minjeong could be reading at the library when Attractive Girl #781 glimpsed at the book she was holding and complimented her taste in an attempt to interact with her – a.k.a the start of a slice-of-life anime (or something.) She could be buying a coke from the vending machine when Attractive Girl #964 suddenly leaned over her from behind, pressing her chest against Minjeong’s back, and snatched the coke from Minjeong, making sure their hands linger in the process – a.k.a another cliché scene plagiarized from a rom-com K-drama.
The same thing happened ten minutes ago. Minjeong had carefully protected herself from “obstacles” when she saw a basketball bounce her way. Sure enough, when Attractive Girl #981 ran to grab the ball and anxiously asked if she was all right, Minjeong could immediately tell this was another GL plot. Dammit, she could never catch a fucking break, could she?
So Minjeong did the only thing she could do to scare off her “suitors.”
She had… burst into a song. Yup, exactly like those musical movies where people would randomly sing and dance in response to every situation. Despite being the GL world, things were not very fictional to include this genre, thus doing it would still count as being a lunatic.
The plan had worked every time.
When Attractive Girl #982 saw Minjeong suddenly sing a Disney song in a pitchy voice – all the while doing an amateur ballet with her arms flailing around, the bewildered look on her face was enough to make Minjeong’s otherwise terrible day better.
Whatever. They would not remember, anyway. What was with a little sacrifice?
(For some reason, as soon as they failed to fulfill these GL plots, the parties involved – except Minjeong, of course – would miraculously have amnesia about Minjeong.)
“That will be 510 won. Thank you.”
Minjeong handed the money to a generic-looking part-timer (he must be a background character!) and then exited 7-Eleven, holding a water bottle in hand.
She was having trouble opening the cap when a shadow approached her, resulting in Minjeong and the stranger tumbling to the ground.
Dear lord, this was the thirteenth time Minjeong had fallen flat on her ass for the sake of GL plots. It was getting unoriginal at this point.
Minjeong looked up to see Attractive Girl #983 frowning at the dirt on her blazer. Like any other lesbian in this world, the girl was an exquisite beauty, with long black hair, unblemished skin, and designer clothes from head to toe. She was also slightly taller than Minjeong. From her appearance alone, it was obvious that she was loaded, most probably an heiress or something. Seriously, what the hell were the GL deities trying to do this time? Making a GL version of Boys Before Flowers? Heavens, leave her out of this.
Attractive Girl #983 scowled at Minjeong as she rose from the ground. “Watch it.”
Now, that was rare. While Minjeong was grateful she was meeting a possibly cooperative “main lead”, this better not be another case of the enemies-to-lovers trope. She returned the hostility through a glare, hurrying to escape the scene before the GL deities thought it was a brilliant idea to cultivate their romance.
“...That was close,” Minjeong heard Attractive Girl #983 groan to herself, “The GL deities are so hell-bent on playing matchmaker, aren’t they?”
Minjeong paused in her steps. “Stop there,” she turned around to stare at Beautiful Girl #983 sharply. “‘The GL deities?’” Minjeong repeated in disbelief, “Are you… aware, too?”
The corner of her eye twitched, and the stranger cautiously asked back, “…aware of what?”
“You know exactly what I mean,” Minjeong gave her a scrutinizing look. “Tell me, have you also been plagued by cliché GL plots even though you’d rather die than participate in one?”
Minjeong took the taller girl’s too-stunned-to-speak silence as an answer. “Great, we need to talk,” she scanned the whole area, her gaze directed toward a quiet café around the corner. “Follow me.”
❃❃❃
Attractive Girl #983 went by the name Yu Jimin, a 22-year-old CEO of Kwangya Group – one of the largest companies in the country. Now that they were sitting across from each other, Minjeong realized how devastatingly beautiful Jimin was, with her expression serene, her eyes distant, and her shoulders upright. She carried herself gracefully, even when it was merely drinking cheap coffee from a cheap paper cup. Her fingers were dainty and manicured, wrapped around the cup as if they knew it would make an excellent photograph to decorate the café’s wall. With her suit carefully ironed and the sweet-spicy scent that matched her cold appearance, she definitely had the air of being –
“ – the overbearing CEO type,” was what Minjeong concluded after taking a quick glance at the taller girl.
The unfamiliar term dumbfounded Jimin. “Hm?”
“It means that in the most literal sense,” Minjeong answered perfunctorily, “Basically a CEO who’s overbearing and cold, feared by all employees, but at the same time is talented in their field, hard-working, wealthy, and happens to be extremely attractive.”
Jimin stared at Minjeong blankly. The taller girl’s face distorted a little as it dawned on her that she had been assigned to such a cliché character. “...Oh.”
Minjeong nodded in understanding, knowing that she had hit the bull’s eye. “So,” Minjeong slurped her hot cappuccino before moving her hands around as if her gestures alone would explain what she was meaning to say, “Since when – ?”
Jimin had a blank look on her face when she confessed, “Three months ago. I kept having this hunch that something was off. Then it somehow occurred to me that I’m… perfect.”
Welp, that was a bit of a letdown. Minjeong wasn’t interested in hearing a narcissist boasting about herself. “...Okay, go on.”
“It’s strange – how perfect I am,” Jimin said ridiculously, and Minjeong was impatient to get out of there already, but Jimin carried on, “I grew up being a child prodigy. Anything I want to learn, I can master them in a short time. I didn’t study much, but I kept getting straight As. I graduated with honors from Harvard at twenty. I’m also aware that I have good looks and everyone I’ve met was attracted to me at some point in their life.”
Minjeong was cringing on the inside. “...Oh.”
“My cousin is a pianist. When I saw her play, I became interested in piano and my parents hired a Berklee graduate to teach me. Two and a half months later, I could play some of Liszt's compositions perfectly. I was eight. I practiced less than two hours a day,” Jimin ran a hand over her hair in frustration, “I mastered Liszt’s La Campanella in three days. Took me years to realize that was impossible. Unless Liszt himself had possessed me, there was no way – “ she took a deep breath then facepalmed. “ – I’m sorry. I almost lost it there.”
Oh – oh. Minjeong understood where this was going. “Take your time.”
“Thank you,” Jimin sighed. “I spoke to a therapist about my concerns. She advised me to have more faith in myself.”
Minjeong snorted. “Tsk, that was so Disney of her.”
“Things got stranger afterward. I realized everyone around me falls in love through illogical and warped ways. My cousin kidnapped a girl she was obsessed with and locked her in the basement for months,” Jimin continued, “Everyone forgot about her the moment she’d been kidnapped. It wasn’t even because my cousin has connections. People only noticed she was missing after they’d started dating… by then, the girl is already head over heels with my cousin and is unwilling to part from her. It was – how do I put it – as if the world did my cousin a favor to kidnap the girl without any predicaments.”
“Yikes,” Minjeong cheered lifelessly, unfazed by the unrealistic story. “Is that the legendary Stockholm syndrome trope I’m hearing?”
Jimin later recounted much weirder events, like how Friend A hooked up with a girl on a dating app, and the girl turned out to be her new young stepmother. Friend B’s girlfriend was the sister of a guy her dad had accidentally killed years ago, and she was dating Friend B for revenge. Being a chaebol seemed to have affected the GL plots around Jimin to be ten times more absurd.
Minjeong also shared her unforgettable journey to discovering this was the GL world. Halfway into their conversation, she learned that she had not been wrong to antagonize the GL deities. Long story short, they were both going through the same experience. The GL deities forced them to participate in cliché GL plots.
But worry not, for Minjeong would propose a brilliant solution for them.
“Let’s date.”
Jimin was momentarily taken aback. “...Excuse me?”
“Fake date,” Minjeong was quick to clarify, “The GL deities wouldn’t quit bothering us unless we get a girlfriend. Might as well pretend we’re dating to escape their shenanigans.”
Jimin stared at Minjeong like she had just grown another head. “I don’t understand,” the taller girl said, “I wouldn’t doubt they’d know if we faked it.”
“The GL deities are still deities. They must have some authority here. You can’t hide anything from them,” Minjeong shrugged nonchalantly. Jimin opened her mouth to speak, but the latter interrupted her: “Hey – hear me out first, will you? I suppose my plan is technically a little different from fake dating. The general concept of fake dating, I mean. It’s more like, I’m asking you to act as my ‘main lead’ to create our own GL plot.”
Jimin frowned. “...I’m not following.”
Minjeong nearly pulled her hair out in frustration. Nobody told her it would be this difficult to translate her thoughts into words. It had seemed so easy in her head. “You might think this makes no sense, but – trust me, it does, in a way,” Minjeong blabbed, “First off – just to be clear here, your goal now is to get rid of your ‘suitors’, no?” Jimin nodded slowly. “I’ve got a plan that may or may not achieve exactly that. I can’t promise it'll be a success, but there’s no harm in trying, they say…”
“I don’t see how fake dating would help,” Jimin argued, leaning back on her chair. “It seems pointless, considering the GL deities are monitoring us constantly.”
Minjeong waved a dismissive hand. “We’ll focus on that later,” she drummed her fingers on the table impatiently, all the while trying to construct a good explanation to convince Jimin. “Let’s start with the basics. You – uh, do you know how the GL world works?”
“I’ve been made aware that as long as you fit their beauty standards and are single, the GL deities will give you a – “ Jimin glanced at her uncomfortably. As she – anyone – should. Minjeong wanted to scream in delight for finally meeting a normal person in this crazy world. “ – partner.”
Minjeong grinned. “Yes, wow – a quick learner, aren’t you? As expected of the overbearing CEO. Makes explaining so much easier. Anyway,” she cleared her throat, regaining her professional look. “What I’m going to do is turn that situation to our advantage. I have a hypothesis, that as long as you maintain a relationship with a candidate whom the GL deities choose, the suitors will stop. Doesn’t matter if your relationship is platonic, all that matters is it should have the potential to be a cliché GL plot – in this case, let’s say, the unrequited love trope. You’re also expected to only be loyal to them and show no interest in anyone else. If you’re lucky, you can even end up as the second lead, and – uh, ever heard of the curse about second leads? They don’t end up with the protagonist.
“Of course, as we all know, the best things are easier said than done. It’s not the GL world if the gays aren’t granted happy endings, so – once upon a time, that option was off the table. I couldn’t gamble on someone who’s under the GL plot influence,” Minjeong paused for dramatic effect, “With you, however, it could go as planned. I have a good feeling about it.”
Jimin drew her eyebrows together. “What could we possibly do if we proceeded with your plan?”
“Nothing in particular,” Minjeong reassured, “Besides hanging out regularly, what else is there to do? It’s not like we’re going to seriously become pretend girlfriends. We only wanted to observe how spending our time together would lessen our chances of experiencing GL plots.”
“What about the GL deities,” Jimin said tonelessly. It was not a question. She was doubting Minjeong.
But here was the thing: Minjeong was no quitter. She could not give up on this plan, especially after she found an ideal partner for its execution. “Who cares about them? At worst, they would just annoy us with more GL plots,” Minjeong scrunched up her face in thought. “Come to think of it, the GL deities seem more like trolls than – uh, entities. I wouldn’t be surprised if they – “
“You said something about creating our own GL plot,” Jimin cut in, her overbearing side beginning to take over after she heard Jimin’s absurd idea. “What does that mean?”
But Minjeong was not intimidated. “It’s exactly what you think. We decide our own GL plot, and it will be about fake dating,” she answered eloquently, “I know it doesn't make sense – if you look at it from our perspective – but I’m out of ideas here. If nothing goes wrong, maybe we could be homegirls for life and the firsts to develop a platonic relationship in a GL plot? Haha!
“If you’re interested, it’d be best if we could get to work immediately,” she beamed, “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t demand anything from you, nor would I put you at risk. I also trust neither of us would fall for the other, so that’s out of the question. I just – well, I don’t want to dwell on it for too long. Like, I’d rather go and invest my time on devising a Plan B if it didn’t work.”
“...I’ll think about it,” Jimin said, after a short while, “Your plan – it’s lacking rationality, but in a world like this, perhaps the less rational a plan is, the more it may become a success.”
Minjeong smiled. “That’s the spirit!” she pumped her fist in the air. “Okay, so – our ‘romance’ probably begins with that dramatic fall from earlier. I guess it’s progress that we're getting coffee together,” Minjeong smartly analyzed, “According to my past observations, if the GL deities deem us a suitable pairing, they would arrange another meeting for us in a completely coincidental way. Until then, please give it some thought. Let me know your decision when we meet again.”
“If we meet again,” Jimin corrected flatly, “You can’t be too confident that we will meet again.”
Minjeong took that as a challenge. “Can I, now? Yu Jimin, our interaction at this moment is probably included in chapter one of our GL plot. The GL deities wouldn’t let us go so easily after we promised them a good show! What do you say I’ll treat you to boba tea if I’m wrong?”
“I’m not a fan of sweet things,” Jimin deadpanned.
Minjeong pouted, drinking the rest of her cappuccino in one go. “Too bad, I know a really good bubble tea shop,” she promptly rose from her seat, dropping the empty cup to the bin behind their table. “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’ve got to go, I have an assignment due tomorrow and I’m not even halfway done,” Minjeong sent a playful wink to her. “May I see you again, if the GL deities allow me to.”
Jimin blinked, the coldness in her eyes from before melting away. “Wait,” she lifted her chin to look at Minjeong somewhat helplessly. “Don’t we have to exchange numbers?”
With her back toward Jimin, Minjeong raised a hand to wave at her coolly. “No need.”
They would probably meet again.
(Or not.
But at least she had not given Jimin her number, in case the other would remind Minjeong to buy her boba tea.)
❃❃❃
Four days later, Minjeong ran into Jimin at a supermarket near her neighborhood.
She was looking at vegetables, too concentrated on the task to be aware of her surroundings, when a strong hand grabbed her by the shoulder, turning Minjeong toward a familiar face. Jimin was wearing an oversized black blazer atop a white shirt, followed by loose-fitting jeans and Gucci sneakers – a very casual look compared to the last time Minjeong saw her. The taller girl lowered her shades to scrutinize Minjeong from head to toe. “Why are you here?” she demanded warily, intensifying her glare when the shorter girl raised her eyebrows in a mixture of surprise and amusement. “Are you stalking me?”
Minjeong rolled her eyes, shrugging off Jimin’s grip on her shoulder. “You should already know by now that one, I have a life. Two, I lack the resources to stalk you.”
Jimin relaxed slightly, not bothering to deny the implication that she must have done some illegal background check on Minjeong. Not that Minjeong would be offended since it was what an Overbearing CEO would do, anyway. “Fair enough,” the corner of her mouth lifted upward into an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for my attitude earlier. I hope you won’t take offense to it.”
“No biggie,” Minjeong winked, bending down to grab three big potatoes and throw them into the cart. “Do you go here often?”
“No, I just happened to pass by and thought I’d get some yogurt,” Jimin held up two bottles of mango yogurt toward Minjeong as proof. “It’s a strange coincidence to see you here.”
I told you so was left unspoken in Minjeong’s smirk. “Nothing is a coincidence in the GL world,” she arched an eyebrow. “Yu Jimin, my offer from before still stands. Have you thought about it?”
After paying for their purchase respectively (Jimin had insisted on paying for them, and Minjeong had shut her up with a stubborn glare), they went inside Jimin’s car to discuss their agreement. An iPad was all they needed to list down some terms and conditions before each took their turn to sign. There were two pages in total, and the content of their agreement was straightforward and concise. Definitely nothing irrelevant like “falling in love is prohibited” or “touching without consent is not allowed” because they couldn’t stand the cringe of how that would practically be a copy of a K-drama. No one was falling in love with the other, and it was human nature to respect each other’s physical and emotional boundaries. Besides, what they were doing could hardly be called fake dating. What was the point of faking a relationship when the GL deities were observing them 24/7?
They were two selfish individuals who formed a partnership for convenience’s sake.
It was not supposed to be that deep.
At least, until Minjeong remembered Jimin was a chaebol and she was surrounded by dramatic GL tropes. She couldn’t risk being kidnapped for dating the CEO of Kwangya Group. “Do you have specific suitors I should watch out for?”
“Nobody dares to approach me,” Jimin answered, touching the Rolex on her slender wrist. “One casual glance and they scatter away like birds. I suppose my status intimidates them.”
Minjeong was not convinced. “What about your family?” the shorter girl winced as she recalled a random K-drama scene where the mean, wealthy mother yelled at the female protagonist for seducing her son and threw a check at her face. Minjeong wasn’t going to lie the check part was tempting (two million dollars in exchange for “breaking up” with Jimin? Oh, she was all for it!), but then again the hardship she might undergo afterward was probably not worth it. “Will they even accept rags like me?”
“We’re not that dramatic,” Jimin shook her head, and Minjeong exhaled in relief. There was nothing more cliché than chaebol drama. “However, I’m afraid they would do a background check on you for my safety. Do you mind?”
What was there to hide? The Kims were the definition of a picture-perfect normal family without a criminal record or suspicious connections. Her father was an engineer, her mother was an accountant, and Jisoo recently became a lawyer in one of the biggest firms in the country. They were fairly well-off, albeit not to the chaebol level. They would pay taxes regularly and were sane enough not to take out a loan from the mafia. Absolutely nothing to worry about. “Fine with me,” Minjeong agreed easily, “Do what you have to do.”
Jimin was the first to extend a hand toward her. “I’m looking forward to working with you.”
“Same here,” Minjeong accepted her handshake with a grin. “Thanks for trusting me on this.”
Freedom.
Here she came.
❃❃❃
Yu Jimin
Hello, this is Yu Jimin. [21:32]
I hope I’m not disturbing your rest. Would you be open to messaging me about our plan? I believe it needs further discussion. [21:32]
Kim Minjeong
[21:36] hi!!!
[21:36] yes i saw
[21:36] i’m not illiterate you know jk
Yu Jimin
…That was a formality. [21:39]
Is this how youngsters joke nowadays? [21:40]
Kim Minjeong
Kim Minjeong sent a picture.
[21:42] you’re like 1 year older than me
Yu Jimin
… [21:43]
I apologize. [21:43]
Sometimes I forget I’m in my early twenties. [21:43]
Perhaps I’m used to behaving like an “overbearing CEO.” [21:43]
Did I get the term correct? [21:44]
Kim Minjeong
[21:45] HAHA don’t worry about it
[21:45] i understand
[21:46] about the plan, i suggest we meet up for dinner or something
[21:47] sorry if i sound like i’m asking u out on a date
[21:47] it doesn’t mean anything ofc i just wanted to see how the gl deities would react
Yu Jimin
Noted. I will get back to you later. [21:58]
Kim Minjeong
[22:07] ok, take your time!
❃❃❃
The GL deities must ship them so hard because even after Jimin had ghosted Minjeong for three days, they saw each other again at 7-Eleven. This time, another 7-Eleven branch that Minjeong had only just visited because it was a 20-minute walk from campus. She wouldn't even come here if not for avoiding another student council meeting.
(A girl from the Human Relations department had attempted to ask her out, and that was Minjeong’s cue to quit the student council.)
This sort of wacky coincidence was actually concerning, but it probably meant their fates were already intertwined – which was good news, at least.
(Or, for all she knew, 7-Eleven was probably sponsoring their “drama” behind the scenes. That would explain why they seemed to revolve around it.)
Minjeong was happily eating her ramyeon when she heard a familiar voice mutter in amusement, “...It’s you, again.”
Jimin was back to wearing a fancy business suit, her hair tied into a low ponytail and her heels making a low clicking sound when she walked. The 22-year-old CEO was standing behind Minjeong; she was already a few inches taller than Minjeong, but with high heels, she literally towered over her. Minjeong had to turn around and tilt her head upward to look at Jimin due to her position. “Uh-oh, they’re at it again!” the younger one dramatically exclaimed, “How did you get here? Isn’t your office somewhere in Seocho? That’s like, thirty minutes away from this district.”
“I had an appointment nearby. I wanted to get some drinks before returning to the company,” Jimin answered blankly, “...This odd stroke of coincidence is beyond me.”
Minjeong snickered. “Ha! You should really get used to it. The GL deities are a huge fan of illogical coincidences.”
“I can see that,” Jimin broke into a chuckle, “Do you mind if I sit here?”
Minjeong patted the empty seat next to her. “No, please – I could use a company.”
Once Jimin slipped into the chair, Minjeong noticed the other was placing a cup of Shin ramyeon on the table. She watched the way Jimin carefully stirred the noodles, mixing up the seasoning. Like the overbearing CEO she was, Jimin kept her posture straight as she moved her chopsticks to deliver the ramyeon to her mouth, causing her lips to get distractingly redder and moister with each (graceful) slurp. That was unfair. Jimin had no business looking attractive doing such a… mundane thing. She ate ramyeon like she was paid to do a commercial for it!
Minjeong heaved a sigh. She could never get used to the GL World’s unrealistic beauty standards! “So, is this your first time – ?” Minjeong started, and Jimin blinked at her. “ – eating instant ramyeon, I mean.”
Jimin glared at Minjeong defensively. “Certainly not,” there was ridicule in her tone like she had just heard the dumbest question of the century. “Where did you get that idea?”
“Overbearing CEOs are a different breed,” Minjeong reasoned, and it had been scientifically proven to be a fact. “They don’t consume edibles ordinary people eat. It’s either meals personally prepared by three-star Michelin chefs or nothing. That’s one of their – your – character traits.”
Jimin was rendered speechless for a good minute, probably freaking out to hear the accuracy of it. “That – no,” she spluttered in denial, “...I wasn’t like that,” she added as an afterthought, which Minjeong suspected to be complete bullshit.
“Welcome to the GL world, where being normal is a luxury,” Minjeong said, ducking her head to take a few sips of her ramyeon broth. She paused to look at Jimin knowingly. “Be honest. You became curious about instant ramyeon after gaining your awareness, right?”
When Jimin remained silent, Minjeong chortled, slapping the table. “I knew it!” Jimin grew flustered over the other’s boisterous laughter, looking like she was ready to throw herself into a ditch. Minjeong patted Jimin’s shoulder encouragingly. “Haha, don’t fret. Like I said, being normal is a luxury here. We all have our weaknesses. Good thing you’re not a mafia boss or – uh, a popular school bully! I’m sick of their mean girl behavior!”
“Not helping,” Jimin shook her head, but she was holding back a smile. “What about you? What do you think your role is?”
Minjeong bit the inside of her cheek. “Ah – you mean, like, my character? Can’t say for sure. I’m really normal, you see. I’d say I’m the perfect background character.”
“You go to SNU. You’re in the student council. You’re friends with everyone,” Jimin pointed out, “Background characters don’t get that much spotlight.”
“Oh, wow. That’s like, peak stalker behavior,” Minjeong raised an eyebrow. Jimin ignored her. “Look, I don’t belong to the popular girl trope, if that’s what you’re implying. You made it sound like I’m That Social Butterfly when I’m merely acquainted with – what, twenty people in the student council,” she snorted. “I don’t fit in, and I’m not saying that to show off like ‘uh-huh, I’m different than the other girls’ because this world probably defines being ‘different’ as being quirky. You know, the kind that’s like ‘I hate people; I wish I could make clowns of myself and hang out with them’ or ‘I’m a simp for this fictional character and I don’t care if you’re famous and you want to talk to me – just let me read this 91k slow burn in peace!’
“While I’m – uh, as normal as anyone could be. In a boring as fuck way that's unqualified for cliché campus romance,” Minjeong rambled matter-of-factly, “I wouldn’t experience GL plots if it weren’t for the GL deities getting back at me.”
Jimin seemed like she hardly understood what Minjeong had blabbered. “There should be a purpose to your existence,” she insisted stubbornly, “You can’t just be… normal.”
“Now, you’re in denial,” Minjeong smirked, “Not everyone is born extraordinary like you, Miss Overbearing CEO.”
Jimin glanced at the long, light brown hair that flowed down Minjeong’s back, stopping just above her ass. It framed her face nicely, accentuating the paleness of her skin and contrasting the youthfulness of her delicate features. Despite her broke college student getup, it was impossible not to admit that Minjeong resembled a little fairy. “But you – “ the younger girl turned to stare at Jimin expectantly, her lips glossy from ramyeon broth. Jimin looked away. “ – Never mind.”
“Hm?” Minjeong tilted her head curiously. “What about me?”
Jimin cleared her throat. “...You don’t look like a background character.”
“Aw! Thank you, it’s an honor to be complimented by such a pretty eonnie,” she teased, exaggerating her voice to sound cute. (It failed miserably.) Jimin shook her head again, a habit she had begun to pick up after getting to know Minjeong. “Ugh, fine! I know I could never be as gorgeous as you, but you gotta agree I’m less ordinary-looking than NPCs!”
Jimin paid Minjeong no heed, and the latter nudged their shoulders together. “Say, Jimin. Think you could make some time for this fake girlfriend of yours? How about thrice a week?” she suggested, “It’s important that we investigate the efficacy of this plan. Like I said, if it proves to be futile, you’re free to cancel our deal right away.”
Jimin briefly nodded. “I’ll pick you up for lunch sometime,” she promised, “Although I’m sure even without regular meetups, we’ll probably run into each other often.”
“I bet,” Minjeong huffed, “No backsies, Jimin. You’re going to be stuck with me for an indefinite period of time.”
Jimin refused to entertain Minjeong any longer and resumed eating. Not a minute later, Minjeong eventually noticed that Jimin’s secretary, this really tall and stiff guy called Choi Soobin (he should be gay if the GL deities blessed him with such good looks), was standing near the ice cream section, about seven feet apart from where the two had been seated – observing them through his semi-rimless glasses. Minjeong must have looked like an absolute beggar, because not once did Soobin nod at her. In fact, he hardly glanced at her, and when he did, it was with these disdainful eyes, like she had committed a grave crime for talking to his esteemed CEO. Minjeong couldn’t really blame him.
After reminding Jimin that she had a board meeting in an hour, the guy excused himself to return to his original position and stand there like a statue. Minjeong shrugged, slurping the remaining of her noodles. For some reason, the atmosphere was starting to feel painfully familiar. The comfortable silence between them as they were eating instant ramyeon, sitting side by side. She even got déjà vu from the setting, too, although she didn’t remember having hung out at 7-Eleven with her friends before.
Minjeong suddenly slammed her chopsticks on the table.
“It’s The Heirs, isn’t it,” she hissed through gritted teeth, “Fucking hell. They made us reenact a scene from The Heirs. The audacity.”
Jimin tilted her head to the side in puzzlement. “...Hm?”
The GL deities must have so much fun driving Minjeong insane.