Chapter Text
"I thought you left." Maya came walking back into the apartment, Carina sitting on the bench at the end of the hall.
"I- I... I almost did, but then I thought you might need-" Carina looks up with tears in her eyes threatening to fall.
"I don't need anything except space." Maya snaps at Carina before she can say anything else.
"I can see that you're pushing me away, and I want to give you space,-" Now, the tears she tried so hard to keep at bay start to fall.
"So give me space!" Maya stays by the door, her hands balling into fists at this.
"I- I understand that you're going through a lot, and I-I'm trying not to be mad at you," Carina can't keep looking into Maya's angered eyes, she bows her head and looks at her hands in her lap.
"Well I just slept with Jack an hour ago, so be mad about that." With that, Maya turns into her room and slams the door behind her.
____
Hey mama, how do you get a red wine stain
Outta your favorite dress?
Black mascara off a pillow case?
Cure a one-too-many headache?
Mama can I come and maybe stay a few days
This weekend or next?
____
Carina had sat there for a minute before finally getting up to leave. She's not quite sure where she is planning on going, but the last place she wants to go to is her cold and lonely apartment. She decided to go to the one place where she would always be welcomed, Andrews.
She pounded on the door hoping he wasn't stuck at the hospital. She stood there trying her hardest to keep the tears at bay.
"Carina?" The door opened wide without her even noticing, Andrew standing in the door way with his brows furrowed.
“Can I come in?”
“Y-yes of course, come on.” He steps out of the doorframe and holds the door open for her.
“Is there anything I can get you?”
“No, I think I just want to lay down for a little bit if that’s okay?”
“Of course, you know where the guest room is.” He waves his hand toward the hall.
Once in the bedroom, Carina curls up on the bed. She pulls the covers up to just under her chin. She laid in bed crying for longer than she would admit to anyone, deciding that the comfort of the bed was “too soft”, she got up and laid on the floor. Now that she wasn’t surrounded by soft, warm comfort, she felt like she could be at peace enough to fall asleep.
After giving her space and time, Andrew decided that he should go check on her. When he knocked on the door no response replied. He slowly opened the door to find his sister curled up on the floor at the foot of the bed. He sighed, he had seen her do this once before, when their mother died. He carefully knelt down next to her and scooped her up into his arms. Placing her gently on the bed, he sat next to her and brushed hair out of her face.
“Oh Carina, I wish I knew how to help.” She stirred at the movement.
“Hey, I just came to see how you were doing.” He kept looking at her with worry on his face.
“I feel sad, so sad, it hurts to be awake right now because when I am I think of her.”
“What happened?”
“We got into a fight, it was bad Andrew. She told me she was going to go for a run and cool down, so I stayed at the apartment hoping to talk things out. When she got back however, she was not happy to see me still there. She wanted space and I tried to push her to talk, but then she told me she-“ tears started running down her face as she tried to choke out the words.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Andrew wrapped her into a hug and held her while she cried.
Carina pulled back slightly, voice full of tears and sadness, “she slept with her ex boyfriend Andrea, it’s not going to be okay. We are not going to be okay.”
“I know you feel that now, but you never know. Things could just be heated at the moment, give it some time.”
“Yeah right, how am I supposed to just forget that and what? Forgive her?” She scoffs at the thought and wipes at the tears left on her cheeks.
“Just trust me on this one.”
“Can I- can I stay here this weekend? I just don’t feel like going to my apartment.”
“Of course, take as much time as you need.”
“Thanks Andrea.”
____
How does he sleep at night?
Mama the nerve of this guy
To leave me so easy
Am I gonna be alright?
I wanna kick myself for falling so hard
Mama can you die from a broken heart?
____
The days of sadness passed, and the days of frustration came. She had managed to pick up some of the broken pieces of her heart and go back to work. The pain that was left over transferred into her work as anger. If the numbers weren’t where they should be, or if she wasn’t making any progress in her research, then she would shut herself off from the world in her office.
The day finally came when her friends had to step in and talk to her. Carina had returned from the lab and slammed her door shut behind her after another failed attempt at getting anywhere with her research. There was a game of chicken being played between Amelia, Teddy, and Jo on who would go and talk to her. The hesitant knock was the only thing to break her concentration.
“What?” She asked as her door opened, not yet looking up.
“Hey? Are you busy? I was hoping we could talk.”
“Talk about what?” She knew what her friend was there to talk about, but she didn’t want to get into it.
“Carina, -“ Amelia sighed, closed the door, and sat on the couch in the room.
“Look Amelia, I know you want me to open up about what happened, but I- I can’t. I’m afraid that if I open up, I’ll just break down again.” She finally looked up with tears in her eyes.
“That’s okay, you’re allowed to break. That’s why I came in, to take some of the hurt off your shoulders.” The two sat there in silence for a minute before Carina spoke up.
“I- I just don’t get it. I don’t get how she is fine, she probably sleeps just fine at night, and doesn’t wonder what she did wrong. An-and the nerve of her to just throw it in my face that she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend? I don’t get how I’m the one that ended up hurt here. I just hate that I care so much, I fell so hard for her and I shouldn’t have. That was on me, that was my first mistake.” Carina had her head down, tears falling into her lap as she lets herself feel what she feels.
Amelia has her brows knitted together in sadness for her friend. She gets up off the couch and crouches down in front of the crying doctor. Tentatively she reaches out a hand and places it on top of Carina’s. When there eyes meet a minute later, she decides to wrap her in a hug.
“It will get better, I promise. I know it doesn’t feel like it will, but it will.”