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"Say fellas, look what those fleshies left."
Stinkie beckoned his brothers to him.
"What is it this ti-oh-whoa-whoa there! Fatso, come look at this!"
As soon as Fatso saw what was there, he looked at Stretch.
"Oh my God, it's all there huh?"
Stinkie tilted his head.
"What is all this, Stretch?"
Stretch gave a shocked expression.
"Nooo, you mean you-Fatso, did you hear that? It seems Stinkie here has never partaken in the consumption of the devil's lettuce before!"
Fatso grabbed his chest. "That's the saddest thing I have ever heard! We need to fix that, pronto!"
"What are you guys talking about?"
Stretch wrapped an arm around Stinkie's shoulder.
"Weed, Stinkie. Marijuana, pot, grass, chronic. Whatever you want to call it, it's all right here in front of you."
Stinkie gawked. "Weed? Really??"
"Yes sir."
"No doubt about it."
"Oh boy!! Give it here!"
Stinkie lunged forward and Fatso held him back.
"Now hold up, you can't just jump right in. You gotta be educated on these things."
Stinkie pouted a bit.
"Soon enough, young apprentice," Stretch said.
"Lesson 1, this," Stretch gestured toward the bong, "Is the bong, the magical device that will be your portal into a whole new world. This," he held up the baggie of weed. "Is your vessel."
Fatso leaned in. "The giggle flower." He took the bag and the bong and demonstrated while Stretch narrated. "Whatcha do, is take some and stuff this little bowl right here. Make sure not to pack it too tightly, otherwise it will be harder to pull the smoke through the bowl and into the pipe."
Fatso put the bowl in place and grabbed the lighter.
"Now observe how Fatso covers that hole with his mouth. When he lights up, he inhales and fills the chamber with smoke. Then, he takes the stem out so that he can take in alllll that good shit," Stretch said as Fatso did exactly that, filling his whole ghostly body with smoke. When he was done, he held it in and passed the bong to Stretch. Fatso blew all that smoke out, relaxing as it left him.
"Now watch me closely, and try to do what I do," Stretch said to Stinkie, who was practically bouncing up and down. The long ghost did what Fatso had done, but slower, and making sure Stinkie was getting a good look.
After he exhaled, he passed the bong over to Stinkie.
"Time to live up to your name."
The younger ghost took it eagerly with a very wide grin and awkwardly did as the other two had done. As soon as he inhaled the smoke he was immediately thrown into a coughing fit.
Stretch and Fatso looked at him with smirks. When he stopped coughing he looked at both of them. The two watched in amusement as their brother slowly laid back and his eyes started to glaze over and become half-lidded.
"Wwwoooowwww."
"Not too bad, eh?" Stretch said. Stinkie stared. Fatso breathed a happy sigh. "Ahhh, it's been way too long. Hello old friend. I've missed you." He rubbed his cheek on the baggie.
"Yeah, you know I didn't realize it had been so long. Since before Stinkie even died, apparently! Ahhhh, that sweet funny headache. Sure feels good, don't it Stinkie?"
Stinkie slowly looked at Stretch.
"What?"
Stretch chuckled. "I said, are you blazed out your mind or what?"
"Blazed out my-" Stinkie interrupted himself bursting out laughing.
"Stretch you're so funny!" He laughed harder, the infectious sound causing his brothers to start laughing too.
"That's the spirit, Stinkie!" Fatso encouraged. Stinkie's laughter died down, only to come back full force making him double over.
"Man," Fatso remarked, "He is kooky from that zaza!"
"He is properly stoned! Hey, I think this is gonna be fun!"
___________
"Dude, I left my bong there!!"
"Oh my God. Do you think those ghosts are getting high?"
"I don't think they can get high, right? I mean, they're ghosts!"
___________
Stinkie was lying on his back with a huge lazy smile on his face, eyes crossed and red.
"Well Stinkie?"
"How now brown cow?"
Stinkie giggled. "I feel like a kid sitting in a spinning teacup."
Stretch laughed until he wheezed. Then he suddenly sat up.
"I think I'm getting hungry. CASPER!"
The friendly ghost himself flew in through the wall and immediately covered his nose.
"What is that smell? Guys, what's going on??"
Stretch shrugged. "Eh, we'll tell you when you're older…oh, well I guess we're never telling you then."
Casper sighed. "Being perpetually 12 blows."
"That's right," Fatso said, "now be a good nephew and go get us food. Lots of it."
Stinkie burst into laughter. Casper gave a confused look.
"What's his deal?"
Stretch faked panic. "Oh no, he's hysterical from lack of food! Casper, go get as many snacks and diet cokes as you can carry! It's the only way!"
"Uh, yeah, sure."
Casper left the room and shortly returned with his arms full of chips and hostess snacks, carrying two six packs of diet coke. He laid it all out in front of the trio. Stinkie immediately shot up and snatched up a bag of Doritos. He wasted no time in opening them and shoving them in his face. The other two started digging in as well.
"Here," Stretch said through a mouthful of junk food as he tossed Casper a fun sized bag of barbecue lays (the worst flavor). "A little something for the road."
Caper caught the bag and furrowed his brow.
"You guys are being nice and it's weird."
"Well you know what they say," Fatso remarked. He continued eating, not saying anything.
"...what?"
No one responded. Stinkie laughed again, spraying crumbs everywhere.
Casper shook his head. "You guys are so weird," he stated before disappearing into the wall.
After he left, Stretch cracked open his first bottle of diet coke.
"Ah, sweet nectar," he said romantically before downing the drink, which fell right through his body and splattered onto the floor.
"Why do you drink so much of that stuff, anyway?" Fatso asked.
"Because," Stretch stressed, "I like the taste!"
"You don't even need diet, yet you go through so much of that stuff like some sort of freak!"
Stretch put a finger up, about to say something, but then swiped his hand through the air dismissively.
"I don't need to justify myself to you. Hey Stinkie! Save some for the rest of us!"
Stinkie looked up at him like a deer caught in the headlights, mouth stuffed with food. The two ghosts laughed.
"Stinkie, watch this, it'll blow your mind," Stretch said and went in for another hit. Once he pulled back, he held it in for a couple seconds before blowing out smoke rings. He smiled and nodded, pretty satisfied with himself. Stinkie's mouth hung open.
"That was, the coolest thing, I have ever seen."
Stretch cackled. "You're a riot, Stink!" The other two joined him in laughter. Stretch convulsed, Fatso pounded the ground, Stinkie rolled on his back and started to tear up. They went like this for a while, their lack of lungs allowed them to go for almost 10 minutes before finally winding down. Stinkie was the last to stop.
"Man, this is the best stuff I've ever had," Fatso said. "'Spinning teacup', now how accurate is that?"
"And I just had an idea that would make it even better," Stretch smirked. "What's getting stoned without a little TV?"
Stinkie perked up. "Can we watch something colorful?? Like a cartoon??"
"Sure, that's not a bad idea."
Stinkie shot up, did a flip in the air, and flew through the wall into the tv room.
"Heh, looks like we'll have to carry this stuff ourselves."
________
All three of them sat around the bong facing the tv.
"We got snacks, we got weed, we got TV. What more could a ghost ask for?" Fatso said.
Stinkie rocked back and forth. "Turn it on, I'm ready for cartoons!"
Stretch grabbed the remote and flipped the Tv on. He navigated to Cartoon Network, which had transitioned into Adult Swim.
"Perfect!"
They got comfortable as the first show came on.
My name is
Shake Zula, the mic rula, the old schoola, you want a trip, I'll bring it to ya!
"Oh, this is gonna be good, I can tell already!"
"Observe Err, the digital nards."
"It's cliff's check from the government for being crazy."
"Just so you know, I reversed the waves on the microwave, just in case you decided to put our roommate in there."
"That's so ridiculous I can't even talk to you right now."
Every joke had them laughing like idiots.
"This is the funniest show ever!"
"Boy, I haven't bitch slapped someone since Tucson."
"Never ending life."
"Nah. Sometimes I kinda wanna die."
"Weenie wraps intrigue me."
"Quiet Err. I'm transmitting rage."
By this point the Trio was so mellowed out that they were starting to doze off. They did catch the beginning of the next show, though.
It seems today
That all ya see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
"Oh good, Family Guy," Fatso said sleepily. "I like Peter. It's funny 'cause he's fat."
The three of them slumped next to each other. They were very close, and with relaxed smiles on their faces, they slowly fell asleep. They would never admit it, but they were totally cuddling.